Here you go folks, I took a minute out of playing the drag king (please dont ask LMAO) to post
Author: Lt Sticks
Email: Flame me at
JBSticks@aol.com
Website:
www.jedibites.com
Feedback: Always welcome!
Rating: R, I’m not too sure though, it will definitely be up to NC17 at some point but not yet.
Spoilers: Season 6, up to All the Way, but NOT the end (you’ll see why soon)
Pairings: W/T
Disclaimer: Characters and locations are owned by Mutant Enemy and our dear friend Joss, the idea was mine.
Summary: Suffice to say that despite Joss’ stupidity, I liked the idea of Willow going dark. And no, before you all scream, she’s not going to be all evil and dark. It’s an idea of the darkness within, and how love can be a redeeming force. Don’t worry, there’ll be a load of W/T goodness, and humor, but beware of angst, there’s gonna be a load of pain, but it will all be ok in the end. I promise
Notes: Ok everything up to All the Way has happened, apart from the end where Willow does that awful spell. The story starts from the bedroom scene and well, goes along from there…have fun. Another note is that Willow has heard of Rack before, there will be a bit inserted when the time comes, explaining how. And Amy is still a rat. I’m planning to deal with the Buffy was in Heaven thing, because I felt our Scoobs were FAR too blind to see what was going on. Stupid Joss.
Chapter Three:
She’d spent hours thinking about things, perhaps for the first time in her life there weren’t any distractions in her mind from miscellaneous topics. Every thought of her being was focused on what she had done, what she had almost lost, and what she could lose now.
She felt an aching need to talk to someone, confide in her deepest fears and darkest actions. And on a normal day, this person would have automatically been Tara. Now, the mere thought of telling her girlfriend what she had nearly done to her, sent a spike of pain through her heart. Would Tara leave her?
You wouldn’t blame her if she did.
Buffy wouldn’t be a good choice to have such a deep and meaningful conversation with, she had been distracted ever since she had been returned to life, from the hell dimension she had spent months in. Willow felt a troubled frown spread across her face, for a while, she had been getting the sense that things weren’t all that they seemed with Buffy. Yet another thing to perhaps atone for, had she messed things up, brought her back…broken?
She knew she needed to talk to Giles, he had been right after all. She couldn’t deal with the look of disappointment she knew would be given by him, just yet. But soon, she decided. He, out of all the people in their group, knew what it was like to mess with magic in a bad way. Maybe he could offer some advice that previously, she had been too arrogant to accept.
Another person came to mind, and a faint smile lightened her expression. It wasn’t perfect, but maybe they could help, in the best ways that they could.
Dragging herself off the bed, she showered and dressed, holding onto the thread of hope she had created within herself, and descended the stairs to find…
“Mom?”
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“Ok, Dawnster’s off to school, now mission Find Willow commences,” Xander declared, walking back into the Summers house.
Buffy looked up from the dining room table, a list in front of her. “I made a list of the places she might have gone, figured you might know some more as well. Tara added some before she went off to class.”
“Tara went to class? I thought she’d be helping.” Xander said, very surprised.
Buffy grinned slightly. “She did it under threat of Slayer torture, they’ve been fighting, so I thought, maybe they need space.”
“Ok..and just why have you written the list in different colored pens?”
A red blush that could rival the hue of a tomato appeared on the Slayer’s face. “Well, Willow says it works, and I was bored.”
Xander grinned. “Good to see our redhead has rubbed off on you…oh, that went to a different place just then.”
“Oh yeah. Better not tell Tara that one.”
“Definitely not, have you seen that girl wield an axe?”
“Pretty good huh?”
“Scary. Let the mission commence, I don’t want to give Wicca Girl a good excuse to chop my head off.”
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Parents seem to exist to surprise me at every turn, Willow mused.
“Oh, hello Willow,” her mother greeted her cheerfully as the redhead stepped down the last few steps, to walk into the kitchen. Her mother sat quietly reading an academic journal, though for the time being, all attention was focused-for once-on her daughter as she sat down next to her.
“Um…what are you doing here? Ok, that sounds bad, I mean I’m happy to see you, I didn’t expect you to be here.”
Her mother gave a small laugh. “Well last time I checked, I lived here occasionally. I got back a couple of nights ago, your father is coming home this week as well. We decided to take a break from the lecturing, enjoy some quiet time. I didn’t expect to see you here, actually. Aren’t you still living with… Buffy?” the recollection of the name seemed to take a lot of effort, but Willow found herself appreciating her mother for it.
“Um, yeah. I’m guessing I didn’t wake you last night when I got in. I...just needed some time alone. You know, house full of people, gets kinda hard to be quiet at times.” The redhead wondered just how bad an excuse that was, but Sheila seemed to accept it readily.
“And, are you, um…still with…”
“Tara? Yeah Mom, we’re still, you know…” Willow trailed off, even the casual mention of her girlfriend making her feel horrendously guilty.
“Good, she seems like such a nice girl. Very well mannered, and smart too.”
“Not going to mention the fact that she isn’t Jewish?” Willow remarked with a faint smile.
“Does she make you happy?” Sheila asked pointedly.
Willow paused for a second, the answer coming straight to her heart and soul, yet conflicted by her own question of whether she made her lover just as happy. “Happier than I’ve ever been,” she replied finally.
“Then, despite what you may think, I think she is perfect for you. Religion doesn’t always come into that.”
The redhead gazed at her mother as if she was an unknown lifeform. “Um…did you hit your head or something, because…”
“Because I’m not talking about psychoanalysis, or statistics? Please, Willow. I may not be the best mother in the world, but I do care. I can tell that she makes you happy, just as I can tell that things aren’t the best right now. Am I correct?”
“Yeah. We..we had a fight. I wanted to give her space.”
“Then give her space,” Sheila replied, letting her arm drape across her daughter’s shoulder. “Then go home, and talk to her. I know we haven’t talked much, but it helps.”
“Yeah, it does,” Willow agreed, feeling an almost awe at this woman, who, before this, had probably only had conversations with her on some paper, and incidentally, had tried to burn her at the stake. Though that wasn’t entirely her fault, a Hansel/Gretel demon had held sway over all the parents’ minds.
“I think I need to see someone first. Run some errands. I’ll stop by sometime this week, can you let me know when Dad is back? I want to see him as well.”
“Of course honey, oh and make sure you and Tara can come round at some point, I’d like to see her again.”
Seems my girl has secured a soft spot in my mother’s heart. Never thought that would happen.
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“Ok, I’ll check the classes she has, oh wait…Tara said she doesn’t have any classes today…ok, I’ll check the Espresso Pump, the library and the Magic Box. I need to talk to Giles anyway, he’s been a bit grumpy lately.”
“I’ll check the haunts on campus, and the rest on the list,” Xander said, pleased he had gotten the fewest spots.
The two Scoobies quickly parted to search for their redheaded friend, and Xander made quick work of checking the areas Willow was fond of spending time in, and found…no redhead.
Frowning, he wondered if Buffy was having better luck, and was about to head over to the Magic Box to see Anya when his cellphone rang.
“Hey.”
“Xander?”
“Willow?”
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“Um, can we meet?”
“Well, sure. We’ve been looking all over for you. Where have you been?”
“I’ll tell you when I see you. Meet you at Kingman’s Bluff, in about half an hour?”
“Sure, I’ll be there.”
“Oh, and don’t tell anyone, ok? I just need to talk to you alone.”
“Sure, I’ll see you soon.”
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That was weird, Xander thought as they both disconnected.
Going back into the car park for college visitors, he got into the car and started it up, feeling more and more confused by the second.
Will better have some answers.
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Kingman’s Bluff was a typical parking spot for teenagers, with a not so typical secret beneath. According to some texts, there was a temple dedicated to some dark magic deity or something. Willow wasn’t sure if the texts were reliable, but she could
feel the darkness radiating from it. Or maybe it was residual energy from too many horny teenagers.
Huh.
“Hey,” she heard Xander’s voice behind her, and turned to see him walking toward her. “You sure don’t make things easy,” he gave an easy grin, one she didn’t return.
She didn’t remember rushing to him, clutching him to her with a desperation she hadn’t realised she really felt, didn’t remember the tears that she had allowed to fall. It didn’t matter that she didn’t remember them, she needed to let the pain and fear and guilt out, and he was the one he could count on, aside from her soulmate.
Hours later, they sat side by side, contemplating things. Willow had poured out her heart with the tears, and he had offered support. Now they just sat, staring at the sun, as it hung in the evening sky.
“Do you hate me?” Willow asked, after an eternity.
“Of course not, you made a mistake, and you know that.”
“She must hate me enough as it is, without knowing of this.”
“She loves you. You know what, Buffy had to make her go to class today, because she was so worried about you. Threatened some Slayer violence or something.”
“What? Buffy threatened to hit Tara? I’ll kill her!” Willow growled, and started to stand, but was stopped by her childhood friend.
“She didn’t mean it literally, ok? Don’t go all murderous on our Slayer, it took us enough effort to bring her back.” Xander attempted a wisecrack, but it didn’t help to lighten the redhead’s mood.
“What do I tell her? God, I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Just tell her what you told me.”
“I guess. It’s different though, it’s
Tara.”
“I kinda guessed that.”
“Look, things won’t get better if you don’t face up to them. Things left unsaid…usually turn out bad. I’m not the wisest person on the planet, but I know that for a fact.”
Willow considered things. “I think I should stay at my parents again tonight. I don’t want to be apart from her…but I’m scared of hurting her.
Xander looked at her for a moment, then nodded. “Ok. Do you want me to talk to her at all?”
“You can tell her you saw me, I think she should hear most of it from me, you know?”
“I’m not going to lie to her, it’s an proven impossibility, like when she asked me if Anya and I had…”
“Please don’t finish that sentence Xand, I don’t want to have nightmares tonight.”
“Well my point is proven. I won’t tell her all the details, but if she wants to know things, she has a way better than Slayer torture, to get info out of me. Be warned.”
“Duly noted. Let’s go, the sun’s going down soon. I don’t want vamps to deal with tonight.”
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uh oh lover fights...i know how that is...cant wait for an update.
Great start. I am definately hooked. Can't wait for more. 
I wanted to drag her inner demons out and ultimately conquer them, and get happy W/T as a result. Rest assured that she won't be keeping secrets for long, she knows who to trust with them. I just got a bit annoyed that it wasn't until S6 and Wrecked that Joss addressed the issue of Willow worrying that she wasn't good enough for Tara, I felt personally that considering the people she had had to deal with pre S1 and for much of high school, she wasnt going to get out of it without some insecurities.
Love sam xx
