Fic: Cold Hands, Warm Heart

[themagicpixie]

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart: Part One



Author: themagicpixie



Rating: PG 13



Disclaimer: There is some angst here! This has spoilers up to the end of Season 6 - it begins as an alternative ending to Season 6. Willow and Tara belong to ME, worse luck, huh?



Summary: The bullets have rung out at the Summers house, but things aren't happening the way they happened on-screen (no fear).



Feedback: This is my first attempt at fanfic & I'd really appreciate some feedback. Thanks...





Part One





I



Willow gazed at Tara’s silent, peaceful form. She gently took the blonde girl’s hand; it was warm to the touch. Willow had once, a long time ago, as they held hands, apologised for the comparative coldness of her own; like her feet, they were usually pretty icy alongside Tara’s. Tara had smiled and said simply: “Cold hands, warm heart.”



Willow drew her fingers along the lines on her lover’s palm. The heart line. The life line. She bit her lip to stop the tears from welling in her eyes.



She just looked asleep… there were wires everywhere, there were monitors and cables and charts and everything else – but to look at Tara herself, she seemed as if she was simply sleeping - not as if she were fighting for her life. Willow knew what that looked like – acrobatic high kicks, the swinging of a hammer or an axe, a stake through a vampire’s heart before the beast could bite you – that was what fighting for your life looked like. Not this silent, somehow restful battle she knew Tara was involved in now, to stay in this world.



Machines beeped and the other, usual hospital noise was all around, though somehow at a distance. Willow had been to this very hospital more times than she could count. Last year, when Buffy’s mother had died, her body had been brought here. Then, Glory had attacked Tara and taken her mind, breaking one of those beautiful hands in the process, and they’d had to bring Tara here, too. Willow had feared she’d lost her soulmate for good when she saw the wreck Tara had been reduced to. Though Tara was alive, she seemed just a vessel for dark fears and broken thoughts. Willow vowed to stand by Tara, all the same, and care for her, for as long as it took. They were each other’s “always.”



The return of Tara’s mind had been so very bittersweet; Buffy had had to die to bring order out of chaos, to once again save the world and to reverse the evil Glory had done to so many poor, bewildered souls in Sunnydale.



Willow shuddered. She wasn’t to think about death. Tara wasn’t going to die. She held her soulmate’s hand more tightly, but still with the greatest care, conscious that it had never fully recovered from Glory’s vicious grip, and never would. Some scars did not heal, but then, Tara was strong. She’d always had to be.



Willow wrapped her fingers around Tara’s, own, and wordlessly, willed the love of her life to live.





II



The bullet had narrowly missed Tara’s heart. A centimetre to the left, and the doctors said she would have died, almost instantly.



Willow had thought Tara dead when she fell to the floor in front of her. She dropped to her knees to cradle her fallen lover, but felt her pain and grief subside after only a moment. These emotions were replaced, almost instantly, by a cold fury, like that Willow had felt when Glory had stolen Tara’s mind… and somehow, at the same time, not like it at all. Then, the rage had built over time, and she’d needed to prepare herself to feel the dark magicks running through her, giving her more power than she’d ever known before… there’d even been time for Buffy to try to talk her out of it. But now, this time, the power was there, within her, without needing to be summoned. It was a part of her. She had a vision of that which she knew she was capable of – death, destruction, an apocalypse of her very own making. It was all before her. It felt effortless. It felt like it could be accomplished with a click of the fingers, a wave of the hand, as in charlatans’ so-called magic tricks. It would not be these outward actions that would bring about the hell she could unleash, however. It would merely be her will, and her desire, that would set the chain of events in motion that would lead to the end of the world.



But this feeling – it lasted but a second. Who knows what she would have done, what she could have become. Darkness clouded Willow’s vision; she could see nothing but the end of the world, torment and despair, eternal night. But then, she felt something breaking through.



At first, she felt an emotion that she thought, just a few moments before, was forever lost to her: fear. For the force breaking through the darkness she knew at once to be stronger than herself, and stronger than any power she thought she had the right to call upon.



It was almost against her will to see it, but Willow looked and saw, somehow, Tara’s eyes – not closed, nor open and staring as in the manner of the death - but alive, somehow, with the very force and essence of her lover. The eyes were duller than they should be, and Willow knew that there was only the smallest piece of life left in this beautiful woman who had for so long been by her side – but even this smallest scrap of Tara was fierce and strong, stronger than all the evil Willow had known in those dark moments, stronger than… than anything.



Willow felt the darkness leave her. She wondered, briefly, where it could go – and then suddenly all such thoughts had disappeared and there was only one truth in her mind: Tara was alive.



Tara had let her know that the body Willow held in her arms was not lifeless, as she’d thought, but still held the spirit and soul of her soulmate, hanging on to this existence, for one reason only: for Willow.



“Tara…” Willow said the name aloud, through tears. They, not dark forces, were all that blinded her now. “Don’t leave me…”



Did she imagine it, or did Tara somehow send the reply deep into her own mind, where it was not heard, but reached for, and felt?



“I will never leave you.”



But then Tara’s eyes closed, and Willow screamed.





III





Her first instinct was magic. Magic would bring Tara back. It had brought Buffy back. But when she tried… there was nothing. There was nothing there. It was gone. She had no magic.



Buffy was in the doorway a few seconds later. “Oh my God, Willow, Warren shot Xander – oh my God.”



Buffy had seen Tara, on the floor.



“The ambulance is on its way.”



“I can’t save her, I can’t save her” was all Willow could say, over and over and over again.



Now Willow waited, and watched. She kept a vigil over Tara. She knew the doctors held out little hope – that they considered Tara’s survival an aberration, a blip in the normal scheme of life and death, that would be corrected before the night was out. But then, she knew that they didn’t know this girl. Tara was not in the normal scheme of anything, at all, and she wouldn’t die. She couldn’t die.



Eventually, against her will, she dozed off to sleep in the chair next to the bed, and she woke with a start when a couple of hours later, Tara’s father said sharply: “Only family are allowed in here.”

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 12/22/02 9:39:17 am

[Medic4]

I am impressed! You really managed to get into Willow's head. Please, please continue asap. I'm already going nuts. Great start!

[JennY]

I like this! You have a great start here. I can't wait for the update!

-----------



JennY





"Dude! That sun's gotta be hot!"-- Another astute observation by my best friend

[willntlover]

Wow



Pretty awesome for a first time fic! Thanks for sharing



Please post more



-Will

"I think finding her soulmate would have made Tara a more confident and secure person" -Amber Benson

[themagicpixie]

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart, Part Two

Author: themagicpixie

Rating: Still a PG-13.

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, but then ME have abandoned them anyway, so we're giving them a loving home, right?

Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 6.

Summary: Alternative end to Season 6. Warren has shot Tara and Xander. Tara is alive - just - and in hospital. Willow is watching over her when Tara's father appears.

Feedback: Please! I'd really appreciate it.



Thank you to those of you who have given feedback already. Here is the second part, hope you like it.



Part Two





I



“Mr. Maclay…” Willow stumbled to her feet.



“But then, I suppose you know it’s family only, or you wouldn’t have lied to get in here.” Robert Maclay closed the door behind him. “Someone from the college called me. Told me that my daughter had been…” – here, he paused before saying the incredible word, the quite unbelievable truth to which Willow would always have trouble reconciling herself – “shot…. They also told me that her sister was by her side, watching over her. Except,” he said quietly, “as I recall, I only have the one daughter.”



Willow struggled to find some kind of composure. “They just assumed… I mean, if I’d told them…”



“You just assumed you had some right to be here. If you had told them the truth, you wouldn’t be in here right now. Doesn’t that tell you something?”



Mr. Maclay was right. If Willow had told them at the hospital that she was “only” Tara’s girlfriend, they never would have let her be by her side. How could Willow have explained to these people that Tara was her life? The idea of controlling minds with magic to get past the bureaucracy had entered her head, but once again, she had found herself powerless. She couldn’t even magic up a cup of coffee, and had accepted Buffy’s offer of one from the machine, like any ordinary human being would, and then been unable to drink it, feeling sick to her stomach.



Robert Maclay looked Willow up and down, and then shook his head as he said “This never, ever would have happened if she hadn’t gotten involved with you.”



Willow tried to find the words. God knows, she would never ordinarily be so polite to this man. “Please… Mr Maclay…She can hear you!”



For the first time, Robert Maclay turned to look at his daughter. “My God. Oh my God. Tara…”



His whole demeanour changed. For a crazy second, Willow thought he too would slump to the floor, wounded somehow – that what had been done to Tara would have some domino effect that would ripple through the lives of all who knew her, and drag everyone everything down with it to some level of horror she had never before seen …



But Maclay stayed on his feet, though he looked unsteady, and his pain was written all over his face. If Willow had had any emotion to spare, she just might have felt sorry for him. But in a moment, she remembered how he’d acted when he’d come to visit Tara on her birthday, and the stories Tara had told her about him, later, as they lay curled up together in the dark. Tara had come to Sunnydale to get away from this man, and from the rest of her family. Robert Maclay had a quiet, calm manner and an almost gentle voice, but his demeanour belied his true nature. To listen to him more closely was to hear the threat of easy, casual violence in every word. Willow knew Maclay was abusive: quick to strike his daughter, sometimes without even having appeared to be angry, and slow to stop his son from beating Tara, too. He had done his best to control Tara with his threats, his lies and his fists, and she had battled hard to get away from him.



To get here… God, was there some truth in what he was saying? Tara had fought and struggled and found her way here into Willow’s life, and look at her now. If she’d stayed with her blood relatives, however awful they were, this might never have happened…



Her thoughts were interrupted as Tara’s father spoke again, though this time he addressed his daughter and not her lover. His countenance was different – he displayed far less emotion than he had a few seconds earlier when he said: “Tara. I did my duty, and I came to see you before you died. Rest in peace with your mother.”



Then, Robert Maclay simply turned on his heels, and left the room.





II



Willow watched him leave, and then she opened the room door after him and saw him head for the exit of the hospital. He was going? He was leaving her? Not that Willow wanted him here, not that he wasn’t a complete scumbag – but was he really so heartless? Could he leave his daughter on her – her thoughts ground to a halt, and a sudden rush of pain overwhelmed Willow. She would not, could not think of this as Tara’s deathbed. She tried to physically shake her head clear.



He thought of visiting Tara as a duty. A chore? She thought of his words : “before you died.” He was wrong, of course, Tara would live – she had to – but he was already resigned to – God, to her death - and despite his initial showing of pain, was not staying around to be there for his child. Perhaps he was over it already. Was that the kind of father he was? Perhaps, Willow thought, she should not have been so shocked or surprised… but this final act of rejection seemed so horrific… she would have expected Maclay to arrive and start trying to take over, make the medical decisions, turf her out, declare Tara was going home with him – she didn’t expect him to just walk out. It was as if he had simply washed his hands of his daughter. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling dizzy, and held more tightly to the door for support.



“Hey.” Dawn was there, and she reached out to steady her friend, and led her over to some chairs.



“I can’t leave Tara…” Willow protested.



“You need to eat something. A chocolate bar, something...”



Willow shook her head. “I can’t…” She sat down in one of the plastic chairs, and struggled to get her thoughts together. It wasn’t just Tara that maniac had shot, she remembered. “How… how’s Xander?”



“He’s OK. He lost a lot of blood, but you know, they said it wasn’t as bad as it looked, and he’ll, uh…”



“He’ll live.” Willow finished Dawn’s sentence for her, and looked at the floor.



“So will Tara. She’s strong, Willow”. Dawn reached out for her friend’s hand. There was a silence before she said: “Um… I saw her Dad here. You OK?”



Willow nodded. “He’s gone. And I don’t think he’s coming back. He just came here to, I don’t know… pay his respects. To his own daughter! How could anyone be so –” She stopped, remembering Dawn’s relationship with her own father. Hank Summers had not appeared for his ex-wife’s funeral last year, and shown little interest in the fate of his motherless daughters in the months since.



“Don’t think about him”, Dawn told her. “Not worth it.”



Willow stood up. “I’m going back to Tara.” Then she paused, with a sudden thought, and looked at Dawn “You’re here by yourself? Where’s Buffy?”



“Er… she… yeah, she’s not here.”



“Where is she?”



“She told me to stay here, to be here with you, that she had to, er, go and do something…”



“Dawn…" Willow felt a sense of foreboding. "What did she want to do?”



“She said not to tell you, not to upset you, that you should stay here with Tara…”



“Dawn.” Willow put a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. “Where is Buffy?”



“Well… she kind of, er…. went after Warren.” Seeing the look on Willow’s face, Dawn struggled to qualify the statement. “I mean, not in a big kill, kill revengeful-type way… more in a kind of law enforcement way. She said she was just going to catch him, you know and er…”



“And what? Turn him over to the proper authorities?”



“Yeah. You think…” A look of panic crossed Dawn’s face. “You think she’ll do something else?”



Willow knew how Buffy had been since they brought her back. Different, changed… she hadn’t wanted to admit how unlike her old, pre-jump self her best friend had been, because she wanted to believe that her spell had been perfect, that they had undoubtedly done the right thing when they brought about the resurrection. She told herself that Buffy was back… but Buffy was not, Willow knew, the same. The old Buffy would never have slept with Spike, for one thing, and now Willow feared what her friend was capable of…



“When did she go?” Willow asked Dawn.



“A coupla hours ago…”



Surely Buffy really would have just chased him, and caught him. OK, so she was less your bounty-hunter type and more the chase ‘em, catch ‘em, stake ‘em or otherwise kill ‘em type but God… was she capable of harming or... or murdering Warren? For Dawn, Willow knew, Buffy could kill… but here was Dawn, sitting here uninjured, unharmed. It was Xander and Tara who had suffered. So… Willow tried to think it through… Buffy wouldn’t be driven by blind rage the same way she would if it were Dawn, the same way Willow would if it were Tara, so she’d what – be calm about going after Warren? Would she?



Blind rage. Willow had thought that was what she was experiencing, but it had been dispelled when she saw Tara was still alive, somehow… and now she felt calm, and collected. Her magic was gone, and with it the feelings of dark violence and malice…



Gone. Vanished?



Or… or simply transferred, somewhere else?





III



The darkness. It was not Willow, and it did not belong to Willow. She had been useful, for a while. She had helped it to grow, to take shape… to understand how this world worked. She truly was a powerful witch - but not, without the darkness, as powerful as she thought.



The darkness did not belong to anyone except itself. It did no-one’s work, except its own. It always got its own way.



Except… it had wanted to use the witch. Wanted to see how much she would do, under the right conditions. How much could be torn down by one grieving lover. It did not matter if the other witch were alive or dead. All it took was an act that would make the anger rise in Willow to a level never seen before. The darkness had knew this would happen, that it simply had to be patient. With these people, it could have been demons, vampires, valley girl hell-Gods – strange then it should be merely an unhappy, inadequate human being who provided the opportunity. When those bullets had rung out, the darkness had had its chance – sooner than it might have thought.



But then… an incredible thing happened. An unknown thing. For the darkness was displaced. Shoved, forced! – right out of Willow. By something else. Some other spirit. Some other spirit was in her now.



It was the other witch. The drippy one. Tara. Who would have thought… the one who stammered and stumbled and hid behind the redhead’s skirts the whole time… she somehow, was more powerful, all along?



It was Tara’s presence in Willow that stopped the darkness from being there… and what a presence. Somehow, together, they were something very rare. Their essences, separately, were awesome, but together, they were a stronger unit than any the darkness had seen in its time. The darkness had felt something unknown when Tara’s essence had appeared before it. It had felt… well, it must have been… though the darkness could hardly bear to admit it: fear, and it was fear, it knew now, not only of the witch but of both those witches, if they should ever find the way to combine their powers to their greatest, incredible effect… and had they? Was that happening now?



The darkness reached out, but could not feel any magic. Willow was not casting any spells. The darkness was confused. It did not understand why. She was always casting spells. It had caused conflict within her, which of course the darkness had fuelled...



The darkness reached out again. Tara’s body was an empty shell and would be easy to take over completely, but it was also quite broken and besides, it had never liked her and found her insipid. The darkness supposed it would have to rethink its opinion now, but to take the girl’s form was still more than it could bear. What use would it do to be in a hospital bed, anyway?



No. The darkness had to go somewhere else, but not too far.... This group it liked. They were some of the important people, the ones who controlled the fate of the world. Plus, there were so many different characters and so many who were so easy to enter, as if they had a unlocked door and it could simply walk straight in, settle down in an easy chair and take its time.



The darkness considered, and if it were human, it would have smiled as it saw a solution it liked. It reached out, and slowly moved towards its target... soon to be its home.

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 12/22/02 9:42:21 am

[willntlover]

Tough choice, stay with Tara. Or go and save Buffy??



And you like totally nailed Mr. Maclay.



Again, very awesome. Thanks!!!

-Will

"I think finding her soulmate would have made Tara a more confident and secure person" -Amber Benson

[Grimlock72]

That would be: stay with Tara or save Warren. Easy choice really



I'm a bit worried Tara used much of her energy to kick the darkness out of Willow, energy Tara very much needs herself right now. Willow not being able to cast any spell is rather strange as well, does she know *only* dark magic spells ? Didn't seem that way before season 6.



Hmm... is it just 'darkness' we're talking about here or dark-magic ? It seems to be only darkness, which would leave Willow with plenty of magic. Buffy going evil shouldn't be too difficult, just convince her it's for the greater good



Trust me, this world is a lot better of without Warren Meers and his wannabees : -->



Tara's dad is gone, good thing that. Not worth further trouble.



Now should Willow stay with Tara or go find Buffy ? I *my* opinion she should stay with Tara of course, but I think she might want to stop Buffy from hurting poor Warren. God knows why, but scoobies follow strange rules at times... happens to get them in trouble lotsa times too but thats beside the point



Have Dawn go after Buffy, it's not like Willow's magic can help at the moment so which of them goes isn't important anyway. At least someone should stay with Tara and talk to her, important for people in a coma like her .



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[SilverWingedNemesis]

MORE MORE MORE!!





Great fic...Keep up the great work!!



~NICK~



p.s...Willow should stay with Tara...*grin*

[LadyCallie]

Merciful Zeus!!! This is AMAZING! I'm really enjoying it!



More and more and more!

-LC

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! *swoons*

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my girlfriend last night.

"I don't wanna come out of the closet. All my clothes are in there!" -Me

[themagicpixie]

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart, Part III

Author: themagicpixie

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, ME do, etc.

Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 6

Summary: Warren has shot Tara and Xander. Willow has learned that Buffy has gone after Warren.

Feedback: Yes, please! Thank you to those who have given feedback already. It is much appreciated! BTW, this chapter is a bit off-the-wall I guess!



Part Three





I





At first, Tara didn’t know what had happened.



She was standing thinking of the night she and Willow had spent together – how could she have thought of anything else? There was nothing she could have done that night but to return to her lover’s arms, and to her bed. Willow had changed, she’d done her best not to use magic, and Tara was so glad Willow had realised the pain she’d caused… but what really drew Tara back to Willow was simply that she loved her, and missed her so damn much – her voice, her laughter, her touch… everything about her.



Tara went to Willow, telling herself they were just going to talk, and she’d tell Willow she was glad she was getting her life together, and then, you know, leave, walk right out of the door again, alone, so they could both could carry on with the getting-of-life-together-stuff, separately, in a strong, independent woman type-way… but God, who was she kidding? Being apart felt so wrong. She hoped and prayed, all along, that they would be together that night and when Willow moved from the bed, and they kissed for the first time after so long apart, she knew it would happen. Time apart had not dulled their passion for each other; if anything, the feelings were stronger, the thrill of being together that much more intense. They were still making love long after the next day's sun had risen over Sunnydale.



Tara stood, the reunion with the love of her life still fresh in her mind, and was in bliss.



Then came a confusion of images and sounds, of which she could make little sense. A bang, and blood. What was happening?



She knew she was lying on the floor, and in the next second, though she did not know how or why it was happening, she knew the truth: that she was dying. Her body was too badly hurt to contain her spirit any longer, and she could feel her grip on the world slipping. Through the mist that was descending on her, she tried to find a way to say I love you to Willow, the girl who’d made her more happy than she’d ever thought she could be. The girl who was her life.



“Don’t leave me”, Willow was saying. Tara never would. She would watch over Willow, forever.



What did she expect next? She couldn’t have said. She knew people talked of long dark tunnels… of lights… of family and friends who had passed over to the other side… but Tara saw none of these things. Instead, she saw only the darkening of Willow’s eyes.



This was wrong. It shouldn’t be like this. Without her, Willow was going to go bad – really bad, worse than mind control spells or turning people into rats or anything that had gone before. With the life she had left, Tara summoned all the power she had – all her strength, all the magic, and – incredibly, it seemed, but there was nothing else to be done - fought Willow, and the rising darkness within her.



Immediately, Tara was aware of another force in Willow’s mind. It was nameless. It challenged her. This was the source of that darkness, then. Something cold and cruel, and pitiless.



I will not let you have her, thought Tara, and banished it, whatever it was, from Willow, with one final, supreme effort of will. She felt the nameless thing’s surprise as it was thrown from her lover’s mind, and body. It had underestimated her.



Willow’s eyes cleared and were simply filled with tears of grief, not rage, revenge or hatred.



I will never leave you. The words had been running through the whole of Tara’s body all the time, and she hoped at some point, somehow, that Willow had heard them, for they were the truth.





II





There was noise. Lots of noise, and then: it was quieter.



Tara could see herself. She was lying in a hospital bed. She thought: they have brought me here, and now I really am dying. It’s like in a story, or on TV… my spirit is outside of my body, and soon I will leave this place.



But no… that wasn’t quite right…



Don’t leave me.



She could hear Willow’s thoughts... She hoped Willow knew she would always be there, any way that she could.



Tara found that she was, without thinking of it, reaching out her hand and touching the hand of… herself. The body of herself lying on the hospital bed. How was it that it could feel so real?



She was tracing the lines on the palm of her – the her that was lying on the bed – her hand. The heart line. The life line. The palm felt warm to the touch.



But... what was this? What was happening? How could she feel that warmth, in contrast to… what, exactly? How could she note the discomfort of this crappy hospital chair? Did spirits sit? Could spirits feel these things?



The biggest feeling of all seemed to be this desperate hope, coupled with pain… the hope that Tara would live...



She had pushed the darkness out of Willow’s mind… but how had she done this?



The answer was clear, though incredible. She had replaced it with herself, her own spirit. I’m here, she tried to tell Willow, I’m here… I’m right here…

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 12/22/02 8:40:52 pm

[deixs]

What an amazing fic!!!!

Please, let Tara be ok!!!!!



Stef

[themagicpixie]

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Author: themagicpixie

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: These characters belong to ME, but who cares, really.

Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 6

Feedback: Yes, please! Thanks to those who have replied already. I really appreciate it.





Part Four





I





As she’d talked with Dawn, her panic rising, Willow had tried to work out why was she so fearful. For Buffy? For… Warren?! That seemed impossible. When she’d seen what had happened to Tara, she’d wanted to go out there and tear down whoever was responsible for the horror that was unfolding. Though the dark rage had vanished as quickly as it had arisen, the underlying hatred for whoever had harmed Tara remained. She would be out there herself, she had no doubt, if Tara did not need her here. She could feel Tara’s presence somehow, even though she knew that her lover’s spirit could not really be in the body lying motionless on those white hospital regulation sheets, and she couldn’t abandon her. Even if Buffy killed Warren, it’s not like that would be a huge loss to the world, in fact she would be doing humanity a favour –



No. Don’t think like that, Tara had tried to tell Willow. If Buffy kills Warren, where will all of this end?



Willow had felt her mind seesaw: maybe she shouldn’t think like that. If Buffy killed Warren, where would all of this end?



She had tried to think it through some more. It wasn’t really Warren she was worried about. Something was lurking at the edges of her mind, her consciousness… it felt like some part of her was trying to tell her something…



Everything is in danger if this darkness takes hold, Willow.



Somehow she knew that… that everything would be in danger if this darkness managed to take hold.



If this darkness finds someone it can use, someone so powerful already, someone trusted with the fate of the world…Think of what you wanted, Willow, when you thought I had died.



The darkness that had almost enslaved her was out there, too. And it was a force of evil, capable of just about anything. It had been a part of her, and now was not; it had not been destroyed, that much she knew. Where had it gone? If to Buffy, then what would the Slayer be capable of? Willow remembered the apocalypse she’d imagined and foreseen, and somehow… somehow… wanted, when she'd thought Tara dead.



It won’t just be Warren with his life on the line. It will be all of us.



It wasn’t just Warren who could die. It was… everyone.



Dawn looked stricken, and Willow remembered, suddenly, just how young she was. “You think… you think Warren will hurt Buffy?” the teenager was saying. “He has a gun… I mean Buffy can handle vampires, but guns? Buffy said it was her that he was really after… oh God.” Dawn’s lower lip quivered.



“I think… I think Buffy can handle Warren”, Willow told her, putting her arm around the younger girl, and holding her tight. Even brought back from the dead, weakened and confused, Buffy was always able to handle Warren, that inadequate excuse for a piece of humanity, and now… now Willow believed Buffy might well have a little trick to pull out of her hat to deal with the UberGeek, should she need it.



A little thing called the End of the World.





II





Mind control. The reason Tara had left Willow all those months ago, and now, it was precisely what she herself was doing back to her… Tara tried to reconcile herself to what was happening. She knew, better than Willow did, what they were dealing with, having been face-to-face with the darkness… not that it had a face. Or if it did, she thought, then it had, in that moment, been Willow’s own.



It wasn’t her, Tara told herself. It was never her…



The darkness had been as much Willow, as she herself was Willow now. Though they were in the same place, Tara knew she herself still existed…She didn’t know how it could happen, how two souls could be in the same body. Her own body couldn’t hold her spirit. She had been taught, her whole life, that if that should happen, it meant she was dead. Her spirit went somewhere – heaven, hell – or became a ghost, or maybe just disappeared into nothing. But it didn’t do this. Did it?



It was so bizarre to see the world through Willow’s eyes, When her father had appeared out of nowhere, Tara had seen him as Willow did, and felt her resentment, and the irrational guilt Willow had about Tara's unhappy childhood, and not being able to save her from it.



When her father had attacked Willow for her presence by Tara’s bed, for her vigil over her soulmate, Tara had felt the greatest pain, and tried to stop him, tried to say:



Dad, I can hear you!



and then heard, almost at the same moment, Willow tell her father his daughter could hear him.



Maybe Willow thought she was merely repeating that which the doctors had told her, that those in a coma could often hear what was being said to them, especially by familiar voices – but Tara knew the truth. The same way Tara could feel Willow’s pain and hunger, and hear her thoughts, Willow could feel the thoughts and emotions Tara herself was experiencing. The difference was that Willow did not know the ideas and feelings belonged to someone else. Tara could sense Willow was not yet aware exactly where her lover’s spirit was, though she could feel it near – this was what kept her at the hospital, more than the sight of her wounded body: the knowledge that Tara was close by. Willow would never leave Tara, and Tara, as she had promised, would never leave Willow.



Tara thought of how that promise was working out. She was with Willow in a way she never had been before, never thought possible...



Maybe her way of communicating with Willow was wrong, but what was happening now was different to what Willow had done to her. She was not influencing Willow to ensure an argument was forgotten, or to see that a problem went ignored. Tara had no choice in where she was, and she had no option but get through to her lover the way she was doing.



She also had no choice but to act through Willow. She was in her lover’s body for a reason. She knew the truth, and Willow hadn't fully realised it until she'd made her... This darkness had to be stopped, and she would have to do everything she could, however weak she was. And she did feel weak... Tara tried to summon her strength. She had to keep going. For Willow, and for everyone.

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 12/24/02 1:12:21 pm

[Grimlock72]

Huge surprise there, Tara's soul inside Willow... neat idea.



I wonder what will happen to Tara's body without a soul though, it would be nice if it recovers sooner or later. Tara can't live inside Willow for the rest of her life now can she



Tara really shouldn't blame herself for using some form of mind-control communicate with Willow. She must be carefull to ensure she doesn't place a thought there that makes Willow act differently, sure... but Tara always was the carefull one anyway.



Are Amy or Rack still around ? Those two strike me as far more dangerous then Buffy. After all, Buffy is only strong and fast... hardly end-of-the-world material. Unless there's some handy end-the-world-now artifact lying around Sunnydale ? There suddenly was a temple on another show after all



Can Buffy please kill Warren before she's stopped ? I fully agree with Willow's line of thought about him, heh.



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[wiltar]

wow....this is... wow... I really wonder how this will all end!



Patricia

---------------

W-what were they looking at?

-The hotness of you doofus!!!

[willntlover]

hee hee, Tara needs to hurry up and let Willow know and help Buffy!!



I'm so loving this!!



-Will

"I think finding her soulmate would have made Tara a more confident and secure person" -Amber Benson

[LadyCallie]

Clever clever. Wonder how it happened? The power of Tara's magick or something as simple as the power of love?



Much loving this story... I was stupid enough to channel surf while wrapping gifts tonight and found 'Villains' on UPN. : :: I didn't watch it but still.......Kitten fic was very much needed.



Thanks.

-LC

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! *swoons*

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my girlfriend last night.

"I don't wanna come out of the closet. All my clothes are in there!" -Me

[themagicpixie]

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Author: themagicpixie

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: These characters belong to ME, but who cares, really.

Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 6

Feedback: Yes please!





LadyCallie: Bad luck for catching any of "Villains". You don't watch to watch that nasty "Buffy" stuff! Stay on the Pens board and read the fanfic (that's what i'm doing!)





Part Five





I





“Dawn. You’re sure there was nothing, I don’t know, different about Buffy?”



“Different how?”



Ordinarily, Willow wouldn’t have been very open with Dawn about bad stuff. Dawn would get upset about not being kept in the loop, but usually telling her wouldn’t help all that much, and could often make things worse. Plus, Buffy wanted her protected. That was what she’d died to achieve, after all.



But Dawn was all Willow had right now. Giles on the other side of the world, Xander shot, and Anya God knows where… Tara would have been the one Willow ran to, instinctively, if she needed help or was in trouble, but that was impossible right now. For a moment Willow was mentally floored at the concept of battling anything at all without her soulmate beside her.



“Willow. I said, Different how?”



Willow struggled to stop thinking about Tara. “Er… I mean, did, um… was she talking differently? Negatively? I mean, uh, more negatively than she’s been, er, talking, lately…” Buffy hadn’t exactly been happy since Willow and the others had ripped her out of heaven.



Dawn looked at her. “What is all this about?”



God… Dawn was all she had – a scared teenager who had been dropped into their lives and memories less than two years previously, and who had so far only managed to act as a vampire magnet, and petty thief.



That’s a bit harsh, Tara thought. Her mother died, Buffy died, and we were some kind of stability for her, and we broke up. She’s in the hospital because two of her surrogate family have been shot, and now you’re asking her, in a roundabout way, if her elder sister has gone over to the Dark Side.



Well, thought Willow, maybe I am being a bit harsh after all she’s been through.



“I mean. God, Dawn… did she say she, er… how did I put this. Did she act like she wanted to destroy the world?”





II





The darkness was bored now.



It had thought it could have some fun, that it had found amongst the witch’s friends a human that had a soul with a little twist – a bit of superhuman power, and a bit of experience of seeing a world or worlds that others on this earth did not. In short, the kind of human being it needed.



But, it had been disappointed.



This girl was dull, dull, dull; even the possibly supernaturally achieved glossy shininess of her hair could not alter that fact.



The Key was basically a normal human being, and though it had once had great power, it was now, after the Slayer’s sacrifice, pretty much redundant as regards the fate of the world. It was useful only as bait to those who wanted the Slayer to come running, following its whimpering cries.



The darkness had toyed with the idea of a battle between Slayer and Key – sister versus sister, beginning with a bang! - in a hospital ward as their friends lay with bullets in them. It thought it would make a very impressive battle, at least for the few seconds before it vanquished the Slayer… but the mystical energy that had attracted the darkness to the Key at first had turned out to be not so powerful after all. It was of a very low level and potency. All a bit disappointing, really. Plus, there simply was not enough negative feeling in this girl, enough anger, for the darkness to take hold of. The Key – or Danni or Debbie or whatever normal female human name it had been given - was upset that its surrogate mother, the blonde witch, had been harmed, but this was manifesting itself in the girl as some pathetic desire to be held, to curl up somewhere and cry, rather than as rage or a desire for revenge.



The redhead had been much better at all of that revenge stuff. She had, the darkness knew, once been as docile as this teenager – as trusting, as forgiving, as weak. Then, at some point over the years, she had changed to become a much more assertive character. Unlike the Slayer, who had been popular amongst her peers at least until moving to Sunnydale, Willow had always been an outsider, always been laughed at and ignored, and her family had never understood her. They had not, unlike Buffy’s mother, ever really tried.



Then, Willow found she had the power of magic. The darkness had learned of all her history in the few moments after it settled in her, and it had to admit, it found her fascinating. What a witch she was! the darkness mused. Such strength. Such potential!



The darkness reached out to Willow again, but found its way into her mind and soul blocked once more. The blonde witch was still there?! What was it with dead people around here and their refusal to stay dead? OK, so in the other room, Tara’s body still breathed, but it was being kept alive by machines and suchlike. The witch’s spirit should have been out of here by now. It should have done its big goodbye scene, been a vision in a pool of water or a mirror or something, said farewell to the redhaired witch, and then it should have gone away!



The darkness shifted in the Key’s mind, as it realised Willow was communicating with the Key, though it called her Dawn. That was its name – named after a time of day, when the sun comes up? There was probably some kind of double meaning that was supposed to be clever, there.



Willow was asking about the Slayer.



Hmm.



Perhaps there was a chance to have some fun with the teenaged, failed destiny-altering entity that was this “Dawn” character, after all.





III





“End of the world?” Dawn repeated the words, looking fearful, and both Willow and Tara felt for her. If only I had my magic! Willow thought. Then I could locate Buffy in an instant, I know I could, and see what she was doing…



Tara wondered suddenly if it was her presence that had upset the delicate and unique balance of Willow’s mind, that allowed her to cast spells…



“Buffy was kinda…” the young girl’s expression changed as she seemed to come to some sort of realisation. “I mean, she was looking… wild, now you come to mention it. And… yeah, I guess she was different. You think we should go after her?”



Dawn looked so earnest. Somehow, alarm bells rang in Tara’s head. She knew they sounded in Willow’s too, but differently.



Willow didn’t see what Tara did – that there was something wrong with what Dawn was saying. Willow was thinking: the darkness has Buffy. She’s in its power. We have to stop her – I mean, I wanted an apocalypse, she’ll want an apocalypse, we’ll all get an apocalypse…



We can’t just assume the darkness is in Buffy. If we’re wrong –



Tara sensed Willow tearing herself up inside at the thought of leaving her lover lying in hospital, in order to go after Buffy, and felt a surge of love for her.



-Willow, if we’re wrong, and we head out there thinking she’s an evil force that needs to be stopped, at any cost, what might we do to her?



Why did Willow think Buffy had the darkness in her?



They – Tara realised she was thinking of them as a mental unit already – they, that is to say, Willow and Tara, had come to the conclusion that the darkness was in Buffy so quickly. A little bit of talking to Dawn and they were already seeing cities laid waste in the Slayer’s wake, when she could simply be doing what she had always tried to do – putting things right and protecting people, and going out there to get the bad guys… nothing more than that.



A little bit of talking to… Dawn. Who was now telling them, or rather, Tara thought, telling Willow, she was just a secret eavesdropper - that Buffy had seemed different…



Dawn. She was the only one making them think Buffy had the darkness in her. And she was being so persuasive… and Willow was trusting her more than usual…



Willow.



Willow’s thought process about Buffy stopped dead in its tracks. She could have sworn someone had interrupted her…



Don’t trust Dawn.



Willow looked at Dawn again. Was she reading this right? Was Buffy the one the darkness had now? Did it even have anyone at all?

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 12/26/02 8:49:18 pm

[SilverWingedNemesis]

OHH!!!



I gotsta have more!!



LOL



Can't wait for an update!



This is deep....





~NICK~

[deixs]

So Buffy has the darkness inside her now.....



Stef

[Grimlock72]

LOL



Dumb darkness thingie, of all the people.... it choose Dawnie ??? Let it stay there for a month or so and it will BEG to be killed, hehehe....bad choice that.



Now if only Tara could communicate better with Willow that would be nice. Even if the darkness was in Buffy I really don't see any city being laid to ruins because of it. Buffy is fast and strong but it still takes some time to cause that much damage, unless that military base is still outside Sunnydale, heh...: -->



I'm not sure it's wise for Willow to walk to far away from Tara's body. Don't know what will happen if Tara's soul is that far away from her body, what if her body wakes up ??



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[LadyCallie]

LMAO! Oh my the darkness is funny!! I died at the mention of "Shiny Monk hair". Theheeeeee.





This is a wonderful story!

-LC

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! *swoons*

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my girlfriend last night.

"I don't wanna come out of the closet. All my clothes are in there!" -Me

[vmpIrslAr]

Interesting twist... darkness in Dawn... hmm.... definitely a weak vessel. Does that mean that Dawn will be killed off? I never really did like her anyway. More angst with Willow and Tara... I'm just a sucker for pain...lol

VmpIrslAr out.






"she's my everything."

[maudmac]

themagicpixie, wow. This is excellent.



I love how you've pointed out how strong Tara is. i've always thought she was an amazingly strong woman. To've survived her past to be such a kind, generous woman. It's incredible and beautiful. And so accurate.



It was interesting to see Willow working through how Tara's father's rejection was in some ways worse than if he'd stayed and kicked Willow out. Because as least then it would be clear that he cared about his daughter. But to just walk away? Yes, better for Willow, but heartbreaking nonetheless.



Your portrayal of Willow is excellent. I like that she's working to come to terms with her own darkness. Willow is fascinating. And you're capturing her conflict very well.



Most of all, though, I love that Tara and Willow together are greater than the sum of their parts. I love that they can be so different, yet so in tune with each other. That's love.



Thanks for posting this. I'm very much looking forward to more.

Don't lick my EYE!---Margaret Cho

[cookiemonster1]

hello, i was just wondering if there was going to be an update, please? ,

[themagicpixie]

Here is the much-delayed Part Six (delayed because I had these huge exams that went on for six weeks. But now I am free, free I tell you! Until they start up again next month. Damn it). It's just a little mini-update but to any of those you of you who have enjoyed this, I will be writing more soon. Thanks.



Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Author: themagicpixie

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: These characters belong to ME, but who cares, really.

Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 6

Feedback: Yes please!



Part Six



I



Tara knew Willow was a more powerful witch than she was, or could ever hope to be, even if she practiced and studied, and despite the fact that Tara's own mother had been a Wicca. Tara had known as soon as met Willow that there was something incredible about this girl; much of this was the fact Tara had falled in love with the redhead at first sight at that so-called "Wicca" meeting, but there was something else, too: Tara could sense Willow would become one of the most powerful witches in the world.



The knowledge had scared Tara, yet somehow excited her too. She had found herself wanting to be a part of it all. When she had learned that Willow was best friends with the vampire slayer, it had all seemed too incredible to believe. Tara, who had grown up not feeling special or a part of anything except a family she wanted to run away from, suddenly saw how close she was to a group of people who held the world's fate in their hands.



Tara had felt like a fraud at first. What was she but a second-rate witch, who, if she did say so herself, made great pancakes... what was she doing with this amazing witch, the vampire slayer, the Key...



"...the failed pizza delivery guy, ex-demon and ex-librarian?" Willow had said, finishing her sentence for her. "Tara, we're not superheroes. Except Buffy - she saves the world. We just... help her. You help."



Nevertheless, Tara had often felt like a spare part. The Scoobies had Willow to help them with any magicks they might need, so what use was she?



Now, though, Tara felt she knew what use she was, the help she could be in the age-old struggle between good and evil, that was being battled in this generation with the Scoobies as its front-line warriors.



There's one thing I'm better at than Willow is, Tara thought, as she listened to Dawn's words and realised something was horribly amiss. There's one thing I'm better at that anyone else. When Faith and Buffy had switched bodies, Tara had told Willow: "She's not your friend." Willow had misunderstood at first but eventually realised what Tara had meant by those words. Tara had been the only one to look beyond the outside appearance and see what lay beneath. It hadn't even been so difficult, even though she had never met Buffy before: Tara could sense it, effortlessly: the knowledge was with her. Later, the other Scoobies hadn't known that it was a robot who was wandering around cooing over Spike and speaking in such a strange, detached way, despite all the years they had been friends with the Slayer. Nor had they noticed when Buffy really had become involved with the vampire; Tara knew Buffy had felt Tara was the only one she could confide in about that.



For all their saving-the-world-type qualities, powers in battle and experience of a life lived so much in the dark, the Scoobies could really be pretty dense when it came to seeing the truth about people; and the lies. Tara knew it was not Dawn talking, and this she communicated to Willow. And at once she thought: Willow! You're the cleverest person I know, you're the most powerful witch I know! How can you not know I am here with you, and not in that hospital bed, nor anywhere else in this world or any other! How can you not know I'm here!



Tara had once told Anya that she would know if anything had happened to Willow; they were connected, there was a link between their minds as real as the link between their bodies when they held hands, or made love... With a supreme effort, Tara made one last mental effort to reach out to her love, as she felt Willow begin to back away from Dawn.





II





Willow backed away from Dawn. Something was wrong. It was as if she could sense something amiss about the girl looking back up at her so anxiously... what was it?



A sudden jolt ran through the whole length of her body, from her head, right down to her sneakered feet standing on plain hospital tiles. For a moment fear was in her mind: the darkness was reaching for her!



But in the next moment, Willow felt a sudden warmth rather than the cold dullness she had expected. It was not darkness, it was not magick - Willow had practiced magicks, dabbled in the dark arts, even... but she had never felt anything like this. This was beyond magick.



All at once, Willow knew: it was the knowledge, the realisation, that she was not alone. And not because some evil force was taking her over. A soul was with her. The soul that was always with her.



Tara, Willow thought, and felt her love's energy respond to its earthly name.

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 2/26/03 8:02:55 am

[deixs]

Yippee, the story is back

I know how hard studying for exams can be, I have to start next monday...



Stef

Willow: Hey, clothes!

Tara: Better not get used to 'em.

Willow: Yes ma'm

[themagicpixie]

(Edited for being irrelevant).

Edited by: themagicpixie at: 3/10/03 6:25:53 am

[BytrSuite]

This is new to the archive. You can leave feedback!



To the creator of this thread: If you ever want to add something new, just email a mod and we'll move it to the active Pens board.

________
"...the sharks got smarter."

Edited by: maudmac  at: 12/28/03 12:58 am