funkyasian's random poetry and other writings...

[funkyasian]

hi everyone...this is my first post that's not feedback...so imagine my nerves going nuts right around now. but with the encouragement from certain friends, i've decided to take the plunge and share. so, if it's really bad...i'm sorry. i'll try to post new stuff (depending on how this is received) but since my muse seems to take long vacations to destinations unknown at odd times, i'm not so sure...



so without further delay, here's my little poem...please let me know what you think?!



***************************************

The darkness flows all around

The only light comes from the unknown.

Drowning victims grasp the floating log

I reach out and grasp nothing

The edge of the precipice looms ahead

The final plunge beckons the desperate.

Arms spread wide

Embrace the night

Give into darkness

Give in and be damned.

****************************************

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

Edited by: xita  at: 12/27/02 9:39:06 pm

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Steph, that was just...wow. Very sad...but still amazing! When are you going to post again?!?!



Great job!!!



Love,



Aimlet



p.s. Haha, big sis! I beat you!

[tiredsoul]

Hey Steph ... You know I like the dark stuff.

Quote:

---

Arms spread wide

Embrace the night

Give into darkness

Give in and be damned

---

I like those lines. Very visual. Me like! Post more please.



--celia

---------------------------------

"That was just rude. Now I forget what I was saying."

[Tulipp]

I like what you did here, with this unstated but very clear metaphor of darkness as water, as a waterfall. Darkness is water, darkness is night, water is night. It surrounds you, it takes you in, you give yourself over to it as you fall over the edge of the waterfall. Really nice.



Please do more; I'd love to see more of your work.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[SquishyTrishy]

Hi baby girl



I told you before what i thought of ur words and u know i love them. *grins* you right dark stuff very well but *grins like an idiot* i kinda like the light stuff..oh wait..its cuz they are for me! Um..i just wanted to say the people that i will also be posting in this thread with my love..kinda a shareing thing..SO aimlet u did not beat me to this..cuz well its sorta part mine anyways! cuz *looks at her girl* mine! and we are gonna share the thread..i gotta run to school..see u all soon...



i miss you baby

yours

~I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine!~ Soul Shatter

[ninjitsugrrl]

Oooh! I absolutely love it when a new poet starts posting. It just makes my day! This is a wonderful poem. You have a real talent for imagery and, since I'm obsessed with imagery, I loved the poem. Hope you post again soon.

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz




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[Tara22]

I'm with ninjitsugrrl!!!

Yay! new poet!! Yay! TWO new poets!!



It was a great poem!! Really!! Very great! the imagery was really detailed and I loved the line about

Quote:

---

Drowning victims grasp the floating log

I reach out and grasp nothing

---

Loved your poem! Can't wait for more!!

Edited by: Tara22  at: 11/14/02 12:06:43 pm

[bulldog tidnab]

have i mentioned how much i do love that word?

i am incredibly glad to see that you have posted and insist on more.... right frickin' now!!!! hee.. welcome to the joys of writing on the Pens... thought I'd help warm you up a bit and get used to it.

this was a beautiful, beautiful bit of writing. so hopeless... yet somehow i didnt feel that way when i finished reading it. In fact, the last 2 lines... I wanted to do as told, in a strangely compelling way. How cool is that.

Lovely Steph. It really was. I look forward to more. Cause you know... poetry is good. And so is being sinful.



*woof*

Beyond this place of wrath and tears/Looms but the horror of the shade/And yet the menace of the years/Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

[funkyasian]

*walks shyly into the thread, blushing furiously* - ummm...wow...i really didn't expect these reactions...but definitely much appreciated...



Aimee - hello there little aimlet...thank you very much...and sorry you didn't really beat trish to the thread...well, you sort of did...wait...i'm not getting in the middle of this, you guys sort it out...



Celia - woohoo!! look at me post!! okay, i'm not so nervous anymore...i'm glad you liked it...as for another post...well, soon i hope...



Tulipp - Thank you so much... ...you make me sound to articulate...



Trish - hello my love...yes...you're mine as i am yours...so of course we share...so where's your poem huh baby? i'm waiting!! i dont' think i'll be posting any of the light stuff soon...cause...well, some of them are "for your eyes only" (sorry kittens) - it's kinda funny to be on the phone with you while i'm posting your reply, feels like it's defeating the purpose of this reply...hee hee....i love you baby girl...



ninjitsugrrl - Thank you... i'm glad i can feed your hunger for imagery...



Tara22 - woohoo!! i got a yay! thank you so much for your compliments...



Andi - hello there bulldog *scratches behind your ears* - hee hee...i'll make sure to use precipice in another poem...just for you my dear...but only if you promise to be a regular here...it's not sinful to be reading my stuff is it?! *thinks of all the "sinful" things*



I'll try for another post maybe tonight or this weekend...but seeing how i have to work at least on saturday, i'm not sure how well, that will work out...Thanks again for your support!!



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Heh, well... *tries to think of something*... I'm the first to reply twice! Go me! Anyway, you HAVE to write another poem soon! And you can't use "work" as an excuse...please, we ALL know that you aren't REALLY working... I'm just kidding...but I want to see another poem soon!



YOU TOO, TRISH!!!



Love,

Aimlet

[The Pineapple Head]

You already know how talented I think you are and I'm happy that you worked up the nerve to post. You're a gifted writer and it's only right that you share with the rest of us.



Diana

Early one morning the sun was shining, I was laying in bed - Wondering if she changed at all, if her hair was still red.

[mollyig]

I liked that you used the word "desperate", as used in connection with the act of drowning it showed really well how she is fighting against "the final plunge" But then the latter part of the poem was resigned to accepting fate. Nicely done.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[SquishyTrishy]

Sometimes I feel

By Trish



Can you feel my desire?

Can you feel my love?

Of course not,

You don’t know.

You can’t see.

I am so scared sometimes,

That you will open your eyes,

Peal away my disquise.

Other nights I pray for it.

I yearn to hold in my arms.

Guiltily I dream of your smile.

Sometimes I wonder,

Sometimes I think.

I must be insane,

To let get to get me,

To let you reach me,

To let you consume me.

When you don’t even know

How my make veins glow.

And if u did,

Would u still be my friend?

Would you hate me in the end?



Hey People. Here is my poem to start it off for me. Hope you like, i think i may have put it in soul shatter..so dont get mad at me if i have. My baby and me talked and decided to post this one. Hehe..i shall have another one ready soon. And Aimlet..i am now the second,second person to double post..so i win! Muahaha..



Ps. Good Morning beautiful

PPs. Yellow long shaped monkey fruit for you! (you smile yet?)

~I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine!~ Soul Shatter

[ExtraFlameyWT]

A ha, my dear Trish...you see I'm the first to respond to a poem once again...therefore, I WIN! Anyway, the poem is wonderful...the last two lines are especially powerful. Must run off now to play my guitar..



Love,

Aimlet



p.s. Will there be another soon?

[funkyasian]

hi baby...you know i think the poem is awesome...well, that would be why we decided to post this one right? even though i've read it a million times before, it still affects me the same as it did the first time i read it...



okay gotta run off now and find something to post myself...hmmm...



steph



ps - i was supposed to tell you somethign about a banana...*ponders* - yup...bananas...

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

[bulldog tidnab]

oh this was lovely Trish. loved this line:

Quote:

---

To let you consume me.

---

really very wonderful.



Ahem soooo... more now yes?



hee. Love to you both... and remember! Sinful is good!



*woof*

Beyond this place of wrath and tears/Looms but the horror of the shade/And yet the menace of the years/Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

[funkyasian]

hi all...first, some replies and thank you's...



*aimee* - I'M AT WORK NOW!!!! it's saturday...and i'm working, talk about dedication!! and of course i'll use work as an excuse...duh!! *hugs*



*diana* - hey there diana...i thank you sincerely for your compliments...and i'm glad you like it...i still have trouble believing that you think i have talent...but hey...who am i to argue with the pineapple right??



*mollyig* - thank you for your compliments... - you make me sound so...poetic...

Edited by: DrG at: 12/13/02 1:49:07 pm

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Holy shit...

Quote:

---

So vivid, so real. Pain so real it can't be imagined.

---

These words really get to me...but the whole thing does. Wow, Steph. Like I said before...amazing. *Goes off to ponder deep thoughts..*



Umm, wow again.



Love,

Aimlet



p.s. FIRST!

[Tara22]

oh! I missed one!!



Now I got two at a time yay!!!



first one! wow... really like it!

Quote:

---

Of course not,

You don’t know.

You can’t see.

---

favourite lines! I dunno, they just feel very.... um... I dunno! but I love them!



second one!



wow... nice poem! It's a really great style you have!

Quote:

---

I'm lost she says, and I'm unable to guide her.



Help me she says, and I'm unable to reach out to her.

---

I found it very powerful, the way you did those lines...



Go you!



can't wait for more!

***

"Oh, sorry. Uhh, I forgot that that doesn't seem normal, to the rest of society. It's just, we, well, we both really like cows. Really like them. To the extent of wanting to buy one, when we're older." - The Crying Game (by Vix84)

[bulldog tidnab]

slap my ass and call me shirley that was good! like, really really fuckin' good. i am completely blown away.

Quote:

---

I lower my eyes and say a silent prayer to the god I don't believe in. I pray He takes her, for once I pray He's real.

---

that was so... real. i felt it in the soles of my feet. wow. just wow. i bow to you.



*woof*

Beyond this place of wrath and tears/Looms but the horror of the shade/And yet the menace of the years/Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

[SquishyTrishy]

AImlet- I think that i shall write something you can play on that gitar of yours..or maybe ill make you sing it as you play! I am off to read your New fic EVERYONE GO READ MY LIL SIS'S NEW FIC!



BabyGirl - You know i still remeber the first time you read the poem to me. You words are so vivd. i can really see them in my mind. Hehe could be cuz your brains connect but you know..i still love 'em. I miss you honey..



Andi- Thanks bulldog. You know i almost bought this pencil sharpner of a bull dog that poped...i was grinning..i coudlnt stop thinking of you and the bull dog shimmy..*pouts* where is you anyways? Oh and stop acting so suprised..you know that my gf kicks ass, always. So ofcourse her poetry is fuckiing great.





Tar22- Hey thanks for ur comments. I am glad u liked. as you can tell mine and my girlfriends poetry are diffrent, but i am glad you like both.

~I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine!~ Soul Shatter

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Okay, did I pay you to advertise for me, Trish? Cuz I really don't have the money... And I'm not singing!!!!



Love,

Aimlet



p.s. Need more poetry...

Watch out for ankle-biters.

[The Pineapple Head]

SquishyTrishy - I think we have all felt that way at one point or another...that feeling of wondering how vunerable you can be...who am I?.....what am I?....am I enough?....finding yourself and losing yourself...wondering if the one person above all else you would give life and limb for is going to figure it out and walk away. It's frightening and you convey that really well.



Steph - When you sent me that months ago, I remember sitting at my desk saying, "shit, what in the hell can I send this girl out of my dirty blue binder that comes close, so she won't think I'm a hack?" My writing skills (or lack thereof) aside, you are monsterously talented. I suppose it's a combination of the part of you that thinks things out so carefully and that part of you that just lets things go. At any rate, it's a fragment of what makes you a good writer, not to mention an amazing person and good friend.



Diana

Early one morning the sun was shining, I was laying in bed - Wondering if she changed at all, if her hair was still red.

[funkyasian]

hi all...sheesh, i think i'm addicted to this posting thing now... - i promise i'll write replies soon, but seeing how it's late, i'll just post something quick. under advisement, i was told to post something happier...so with permission, here it is...



********************************

Unbridled passion

Uncontrollable urges

Love pours forth

Unspoken between lovers

Glances exchanged

Fingers entwined

Bodies meshed

Souls become one.

*********************************

...i love you...~CB

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

[Tara22]

you're both amazing poets!!



ooh... Steph! I love it

Quote:

---

Souls become one.

---

go you!!! I'm fully supportive of this addiction!

***

"Oh, sorry. Uhh, I forgot that that doesn't seem normal, to the rest of society. It's just, we, well, we both really like cows. Really like them. To the extent of wanting to buy one, when we're older." - The Crying Game (by Vix84)

Edited by: Tara22  at: 11/17/02 9:46:09 pm

[ExtraFlameyWT]

*gasp* i wasn't...first! *cries* Anyway, I loved the poem, Steph! And, since it was so good, you get a gold star!



Love,

Aimlet

Watch out for ankle-biters.

[Drakkenfyre]

The Lady Dragon pauses for a moment. Eyes shining with tears. My dearest, I am so proud of you for posting. Your poetry is beautiful. Please do continue.



*the Lady Dragon bows and then disappears in a cloud of blue mist*

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

[tiredsoul]

Hey Steph ... I'm so glad that you decided to post that nightmare one.

Quote:

---

I lower my eyes and say a silent prayer to the god I don't believe in.

---

Still love that line.



I think we're the ones who are benefiting from you becoming a posting fiend.



--celia

[funkyasian]

from a hell day at work...pretending i'm not really in the office...so i suppose replies and thank you's would be in order - i know trish has something up her sleeve for later tonight...and i just might find something to post too...for now...



*nightmare*



aimee - hey...watch your language young lady...okay, not really going there...but thank you for the holy sh*t comment... - so how's the great-grandma's?? lol...



tara22 - my style...tends to be darker writing...but i'm glad you enjoy it...hope it didn't depress you too much...my mind works in such random fashion sometimes i can't even explain it...



andi - hey there bulldog...i thank you for your compliments...*looks at the soles of the paws* - hmmm...you felt it there huh? does it tingle??!!



diana - *waves* hi...hope you're feeling better...told you not to get that flu shot...but no, why would you listen to the wise one?? sheesh. anyway, thanks for the compliment, i know you think i'm a good writer, and though i think you're biased, thank you. and btw...the stuff out of that dirty blue binder...they were good...so don't ever put it down like that...as for being a hack...what the hell is a hack??



*something happier*



tara22 - once again, i thank you for thinking i can pass for a poet...i swear the lighter stuff was inspired by a...very inspirational person about this addiction though, i believe i like it...



aimee - woohoo!! i get a gold star...well, go me!! i do like the whole star thing...



drakkenfyre - LAURA!!!!!! *hugs* - i'm so glad you stopped by...i hope all is well...i miss you lots...and i'm so glad you read some of the stuff we posted, it means so much to have your affirmation...love you lots!!



celia - hi there tired one...hope your day/week is going better...if it's not, i'm sure it'll pick up...don't forget my consulting fee!! *thinks of all the pizzas* - thank you for your compliments...as for the posting fiend, well, that will have to sort of wait until the whole migration business is over at work (though i'm hiding at the moment)...hee hee...*dodges all the users*



sidenote - trishy...hope your day is going better than mine...remember, physics is not evil!! okay, just wanted to have a public declaration of how much i missed you... i can't wait until you post your poem...



well, that is all for now everyone...i hope you all have a good day/evening/night...i have to run back onto the floor now and be attacked by the users...grrrr...wish me luck!



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

Edited by: funkyasian at: 11/19/02 8:23:05 am

[ninjitsugrrl]

Wow, you express so much in such a short poem. I especially like these lines, "Glances exchanged/ Fingers entwined/ Bodies meshed". I'm glad you are addicted to posting. Gives us poetry folks plenty to read!

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz




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