The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 1, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:36 am 
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 85
I really enjoyed reading Tara's point of view, and seeing how her feelings evolve. I agree with the comments above about perceived attractiveness. I think at some point there has to be a conversation about what is attractive about the other in terms of both personality and looks, because it's such an individual and personal thing.

I'm looking forward to more of the emotional slow burn of the story, as you may have guessed with my appreciation of Meeting Expectations.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 1, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:38 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
NorthernLass: Thanks for pushing the story to a second page. It makes me feel like my story is more consequential with at least two pages.
I'm looking forward to more of the emotional slow burn of the story
I hope that it burns slowly enough.

Your Tara obviously dresses "nicer" than your Willow and as a math student Willow might be labeled a "nerd" but that still doesn't explain to me why the common belief seems to be that Tara would "stoop down" in a relationship with Willow.

I think that Willow's friends don't really see her as attractive. I suspect this is because she does not dress to accentuate her assets, she keeps her hair in a ponytail, and she most likely telegraphs that she does not feel comfortable in her own body. Willow has spent a lot of her time trying to be invisible, so invisible that I don't think her friends see her. My Tara on the other hand, I see as very comfortable in her body and it shows. I don't plan much angst regarding Tara being outed.
Hopefully during their trip to the soccer game Tara will be able to convince Willow that she (still) earnestly wants a relationship with her. It might help if Tara revealed her insecurities that Willow could think her "inexperienced" as a lesbian - I suspect in truth Willow is much less experienced than Tara thinks, so she might clear that up to Tara.

I guess my plot is very predictable. Hopefully not so predictable that it's not worth reading.

Learning to Laugh
Spoilers: None. Josh and ME own all of these characters. I just write other lives for them with no commercial gain.
To those of you who were not listening to music in the 80's, some of the songs were pretty good. Google or YouTube them. I give credit to the group. Just like the other spoilers, I get nothing. The Bookstore that is referred to in this story does not exist anymore. It closed in the early 2000's. The newspaper is out of print as well. To me this is a sad side effect of computers and e-readers, or maybe the fact that gay books can be bought at mainstream bookstores...The experience that Willow and Tara have going into the bookstore is straight from my life, a few years later, but an event that is etched into my brain.

Part 10

Willow struggled to motivate herself to get up. The cloud of depression overtook her. She felt as though she had a small elephant sitting on her chest, and chimpanzees clinging to her legs. The sunlight that was streaming through the window accosted her eyes and she pondered putting on her sunglasses which were in her bookbag beside her bed. Willow had not been completely honest with Anya. She had probably taken her medicine less frequently than she had admitted to her roommate. I guess I need to take it every day. As much as she wanted to stay in bed, Willow dragged herself out of bed and took a shower. She stood in her closet trying to determine what outfit would be appropriate and flattering. She picked out at pair of well-worn jeans that she knew fit nicely, a green polo shirt and her pair of blue short Converses. She looked in the mirror and thought to herself Eyes accentuated check, good view from the back she twisted to look at herself as well as she could check She grabbed her backpack, threw in a sweatshirt, checked to make sure that her wallet was in the front pocket, and left her dorm. She stopped at the cafeteria and grabbed some foods that would travel well in her backpack. She saw the bus pulling in as she walked down the hill to the parking lot. She looked around for Tara, not seeing her, she decided to get on the bus to save them a seat.

As she walked on to the bus, she looked toward the back of the bus and saw Tara. Tara’s face lit up, and she felt a grin appearing on her own. Willow walked to the seat, “Can I sit here?” she asked.

“Sure,” said Tara as she removed the backpack that she had left on the seat in an effort to appear that she did not want anyone sitting with her. Fortunately, the bus was very crowded, and it didn’t seem odd that Willow chose this seat rather than taking another empty one.

After Willow sat down, Tara whispered, “Hey sweetie. Love the polo shirt.” Into her ear. Willow could feel her pulse quicken at the term of endearment. She smiled broadly at her girlfriend.

As the bus was pulling away, Tara asked in a tentative voice, “So you were that sleepy, you couldn’t talk to me last night.”

“I was beat. I don’t know why. But here I am, awake, alert Willow. Happy, Happy, Happy. Going to the soccer game. Yay us. Boo BC”

Tara looked Willow in the eye, and said, “You weren’t upset by some of the stuff Michelle was saying to me?”

“Who’s Michelle?” asked Willow, trying to appear naïve.

“The girl that flagged me down and was talking to me when you walked away.”

“I just wanted to give you some privacy. You don’t need me, homing in on your conversations with friends,” said Willow in a matter of fact manner.

Tara confronted her, “Willow, come on. Be honest. You left so that I wouldn’t be asked why you were there. I know it,”

“Maybe. But I also was tired. We were almost to your dorm. We’d determined that all I was doing was walking you to your dorm. It’s not like we missed out on anything, and you avoided the awkward questions…and…and…honestly, I didn’t know what to do or say when she started talking about your ideal guy. I am far from tall, blond or muscular, not to mention, a female.”

“That was really awkward. I am sorry. She wasn’t really a friend of mine. She was just someone that I went to a dance with and we ended up talking about our “ideal guys.” Yesterday though I made it clear that I had no interest in being set up with her boyfriend’s friend. I guess I could have said that my preference is smart, slight red-heads now, but I doubt she would have gotten it, and there were a bunch of them, and they are friends with my roommate. I am sorry. I took the coward’s way out.”

“It’s ok. It wasn’t the coward’s way out. In my opinion, you shouldn’t have to come out to people who are just acquaintances. I know that I take things personally a lot. I am trying to work on it, but my first instinct is flight and/or withdrawal.” Willow moved her hand so it brushed Tara’s.

“I talked to Sue and April too last night,” stated Tara. “They asked me to come up to their room. April said that you were really helpful and explained math in a manner she could really understand. They said that they really like you.”

“I like them too. They’re nice. I am looking forward to going to their game.”

“They told me about your question, and what you told them your friends said, stated Tara.”

Willow automatically became defensive, “What did they say I said?”

“Willow. I need you to be honest and not try to deflect,” confronted Tara.

“I’m not trying to deflect. I just don’t know what they told you.”

“Well, what parts would it be helpful for me to be aware of?” asked Tara.

“I don’t think that any parts of it are things you need to be aware of. I am sure you are already aware of the fact that you are beautiful, and way out of my league. You: beautiful, artistic, sweet, funny, nice. Me: dweeb, nerd, theater geek. Does not compute.” Willow looked down at her fingers and began to pick at her cuticles.

Tara bumped her shoulder to Willow’s shoulder, “Willow, I wish you could see yourself from my point of view. I think you are incredibly beautiful and sexy. Your hair is what people spend lots of money at the salon trying to replicate, you have flawless skin, your eyes are a color green that is only seen in nature, you’ve got an amazing physique, not to mention, you are probably the smartest person I’ve ever known. You are poised, you are articulate, you are caring, and talented. You know how to do all that cool technical theater stuff. If anyone is out of the other’s league, it is me out of yours. Do your friends realize that I pursued you?”

“I told them, but I don’t think they believed me. I actually think several of them don’t believe we are dating. Even though you came with me to dinner. I think they think I am living a fantasy or misunderstanding your intentions.”

“What are my intentions?” whispered Tara in a flirtatious manner.

“I have no idea, but I look forward to finding out,” whispered Willow back.

“Do you feel better today?” asked Tara.

“Yeah, how can I not feel good when I am sitting next to my girlfriend. We are going to Boston, it is a beautiful day, and we are going to a soccer game, which is something my girl enjoys,” responded Willow in a chipper fashion.

“I was thinking we could go to Glad Day either before or after the game. I want to get a copy of the Gay Community News so I can read the most recent Dykes to Watch Out For . I want to see what she has to say this month.”

“I love that comic. Allison Bechdel rocks,” commented Willow. “I really like going to Glad Day too. When I am there, I feel like I am part of a community; like I belong. Not to mention all the books and magazines. The only other place I’ve been that I felt more comfortable was Womencrafts in Provincetown. My parents and I vacationed in Provincetown every summer, I’d spend hours there just looking at books and other stuff. I didn’t even know that it was a lesbian store, as a kid I just knew that I felt comfortable there. To think about it though, I never told my parents that it was where I spent most of my time. I knew that they wouldn’t be pleased.”

“I can see little Willow sitting in the store, reading to her hearts content,” Tara gazed at Willow, a content look on her face.

“I really liked all the feminist buttons too. How my parents didn’t realize I was gay when I was a kid. I think it is just denial. All signs pointed to gay.” Willow pointed to herself with her thumbs.

“You gotta remember the times that your parents grew up in. It’s hard now, but it was even worse if you think about it when they were growing up. We were four or five when Stonewall occurred, that means our parents were already married and had kids. My parents had four kids by 1969. Most parents don’t even think that their kids are going to be anything other than straight. What are the odds. There is a 90% chance your kid is going to be straight, why think about the 10%? On top of all of this, most people really believe that it is a conscious choice.”

“I don’t get that argument, if it was a choice, why would anyone choose it? My parents see it as rebelling. I can think of a lot of other ways to rebel that wouldn’t have gotten me disowned. I just don’t think it is a choice. It’s got to be something neurological, attraction is such a primal thing, it’s nonverbal, it’s almost unconscious. I hope they figure it out sometime soon. Not that it will change the way my parents feel.” Willow looked down again at her fingernails.

“I think the choice is whether to act on attraction or not, not whether to be or not to be,”

“That is the question,” said Willow in a silly manner.

“You, Willow are a goof.”

“Yep, as I’ve said, I accept and acknowledge that I am a goof.” Willow tapped her shoulder against Tara’s again.

“Is there anything else you want to do while we are in Boston today?”

“No, just be with you somewhere that I don’t feel that everyone is looking at us, the anonymousness of the city. You?”

“Nope.” They both looked out the window. Willow rooted in her backpack and pulled out a bottle of apple juice and a granola bar. “Do you want half?” asked Willow, opening the bottle and preparing to give Tara one of the bars in the pack.

“No, I’m good. I woke up early and went to breakfast. For some reason, I was really excited when I woke up.” Tara brushed her hand over Willow’s arm again. “Oh, I brought my Walkman, you want to listen to some music. I’ve got a splitter and two sets of headphones.”

“What music did you bring?”

“It’s a mixed tape that I made.”

“Cool. Willow looked at the tape. The songs on Side One were listed, while the ones on side two were not. Side One had the songs “Shout” by Tears for Fears; “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cindi Lauper; “Come Dancing” The Kinks; Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen; Our House by Madness; The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats; 99 Luftballons by Nena, Tempted by Squeeze, and Wake me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham.

Tara handed Willow a set of headphones and put another set on. She pushed the button and the sounds of Shout entered both of their ears.


“That was a really good game,” exclaimed Willow as they were leaving the BU soccer stadium. “April and Sue must be so stoked. I didn’t think that they were going to pull it off. Augi did a really good job helping the goalie too.” They began walking toward the T-stop.

“Yeah, she was good. Maybe the coach will put her in more now,” commented Tara as she walked ahead, stopped and waited for Willow to catch up with her.

“I’m sure that she would be happy about that. I know from softball, that it is hard when you have to ride the bench.”

“You played softball?” asked Tara walking so her hand brushed Willow’s.

“Every year from third grade until my Senior Year,” replied Willow proudly.

“What position did you play?”

“Third base in middle and high school, catcher and right field when I was in elementary. My coach used to tell me that I needed to stay focused. Sometimes I would catch the ball and forget that I needed to throw it somewhere. It was easier when I was catcher. I paid attention better because I was in the middle of the game. Did you every play?”

“No, not softball. I played soccer. I was never that good, but I enjoyed it.”

“That is how I felt about softball. Never that good; but loved it just the same. What position did you play?”

“I was a midfielder.”

“That’s the one that seems to be running all the time, right?” Willow went back to her fantasizing about Tara in shorts.

“Yep, lots of running. Helping with defense and offense.”

“That must have been a sight to see. You in shorts, those long-legs running.” Willow bumped into Tara in a playful manner.

“I can see you, your red ponytail hanging out of your ballcap.” Tara bumped her back. They reached the T-stop and sat on a bench close together to wait for the train.

“So, what are we going to do now? Head for the bookstore? Go somewhere else?” said Willow eagerly

“What do you want to do?” asked Tara.

“Well, you piqued my interest in talking about going to Glad Day. There is a good pizza place nearby too. I must admit, I am a bit hungry. I was hoping that the granola bars were going to keep me satiated, but no luck.” Willow smiled and looked at her girlfriend.

“Pizza and books. What a wonderful combo. Fortunately, the Green Line will take us right there, so we just gotta get on and go.”

When the train got there, they got on, grabbed a bench seat and enjoyed the chance once again to be seated very close to each other. They traveled to Boylston stop and exited the train. The underground terminal was dark and dank and it took their eyes a moment to get used to the bright sun as they took the escalator to the street level. They moved out the of the way of the people exiting and entering the area and stood at a store front.

“Can you wait to eat? Or do you want to eat first,” asked Tara.

“Let’s go to the bookstore, then we can get some pizza.”

“Sounds good.” The two women walked close together across the street and to the stairs that led to the second floor bookstore. As they were entering the building, a homeless woman came up to them and asked for some money. Both of them politely declined and the homeless woman said to them, “Fucking dykes, I bet you have to pay your partner for pussy.”

This comment made them both giggle. They quickly walked up the stairs, as they were entering the store, Willow stated, “Well, now I have been harassed by a homeless woman for being a lesbian. She had a wicked good Boston accent though…”

“That is true,” commented Tara, “and I would never make you pay” she whispered into Willow’s ear. This caused an immediate blush to spread over Willow’s face. Tara looked at her embarrassed girlfriend and kissed her quickly on the forehead.

“Did you get harassed by Dot?” asked a man who was standing near the door. “She loves to try to intimidate people with her homophobic harangues. We’ve complained, but it is her favorite place to pan handle.”

The two girls smiled at the young man.

The bookstore was wall to wall books and periodicals. Tara went to find the newest edition of the Gay Community News, while Willow went to look at the lesbian fiction. They both walked around the store, periodically checking in with each other and showing the other things that they found interesting.

Tara walked up to Willow. She put her arms around Willow’s waist and put her head on her shoulder. “See anything that you want?”

“Always, but it’s not in my budget right now. Did you find your newspaper?”

“Yup.” Tara pointed to the periodical that she had in her hand.

It is so nice to be somewhere that Tara can be this close and nobody looks at us with derision. Willow turned around, and pecked Tara on the lips. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get some pizza.”

“Ok,” responded Tara, smiling at her red-headed girlfriend. She went to the cash register, paid for her newspaper, and they exited the bookstore. Fortunately, Dot was nowhere to be seen.


Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 4, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 1:22 pm 
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 85
Dibs! This felt like moving in the right direction, with Tara being honest and verbalising her attraction to Willow, but also challenging Willow about aspects of her behaviour. Is the bookstore a real place cause it sounds like you're writing from a place of nostalgia?

I loved the mix tape reference. I think I've previously mentioned that Echo and the Bunnymen were my teenage band,and my first proper gig! I remember all the other songs too. Really enjoying this take on the Tara / Willow story.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 4, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:25 am 
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 434
I guess my plot is very predictable. Hopefully not so predictable that it's not worth reading.

Your story is definitely worth reading! I wouldn't call it too predictable either, I was just hoping they would clear up some of theír misconceptions on their next date.
I'm glad that after some coaxing from Tara Willow told the truth about her feeling inadequate and her "flight instinct" kicking in the other day.

Tara bumped her shoulder to Willow’s shoulder, “Willow, I wish you could see yourself from my point of view. I think you are incredibly beautiful and sexy. Your hair is what people spend lots of money at the salon trying to replicate, you have flawless skin, your eyes are a color green that is only seen in nature, you’ve got an amazing physique, not to mention, you are probably the smartest person I’ve ever known. You are poised, you are articulate, you are caring, and talented. You know how to do all that cool technical theater stuff. If anyone is out of the other’s league, it is me out of yours.

:flower Bravo Tara, Willow really needed to hear that! I guess it will still take a while for her to fully believe it though.

“What are my intentions?” whispered Tara in a flirtatious manner.

“I have no idea, but I look forward to finding out,” whispered Willow back.

:flirt What a shame they couldn't seal this flirting with a kiss… :wtkiss

I'm looking forward to the second part of their date.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 4, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:14 am 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 605
Topics: 8
Location: Maryland
Great updates! I really enjoyed your incorporation of Tara's point of view in this story via her diary. It's a great way to see how her feelings are evolving for Willow and vise versa. Their date was so adorable ... minus the homophobic heckler of course ... can't wait to read the next update.

Alyson, oh, Alyson why don´t you join my band? So you could play the flute like this one time in band camp.
I Am Forever / A Special Christmas of Sorts / Maybe It's Just Me / Honeysuckle Rose /Blackouts and Breakthroughs / When Love Arrives

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 4, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:20 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
their date was so adorable ... minus the homophobic heckler of course ...

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad that you liked the 'letter' entries. I realize it is a way to move the story along too.

Will's_Redemption: Here is the second part of the date. Lots of kissing. Thanks for posting. I always smile when I see that you've given me feedback.
:banana :applause :eatme

Northernlass: I can always count on you to make my day. I probably check for feedback too many times. I am glad that you like the mixed tape stuff. I actually made a playlist of the mixed tape and have been writing to it some. Yes, Glad Day was a real place and it was somewhere that I REALLY enjoyed going when I went to Boston. I hate that it has closed. I guess I am sentimental about my young adulthood.

Learning to Laugh
Josh owns Willow and Tara, I just write different lives for them.
Feedback: PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, WITH SUGAR ON TOP. Even an Emoji makes me smile.

NOTE: I think that I should have been a playwright. I think and pretty much write in dialogue. I've been trying to flesh things out a bunch. Hopefully it is better. I understand why Amber Benson likes to write and direct her own stuff. You know how you want the line to sound, you can say it, you can show it. It's hard to describe.

The date continued.

“What do you want to do now?” asked Willow as they exited the bus. They had listened to the first side of the tape and chatted about their day while riding home. It was dark, and the chill of Massachusetts in late October was present. They had both been warmed by their sides being pressed against the other in the bus seat, but as they exited, they both shivered and missed the closeness.

“I don’t know? What do you want to do?” asked Tara.

“Well,” said Willow, “I was thinking that we could go hang in my dorm room. I saw Anya waiting to get on the bus, so that means that I have the room to myself ‘till late tonight, maybe until tomorrow” Willow looked at Tara with a hopeful expression on her face. “We could watch some TV; you could read your newspaper.

“If we have your dorm room to ourselves, I don’t think I’m going to want to read,” whispered Tara in a sultry manner.

What am I getting myself into thought Willow feeling both excited and a little scared. They walked past the Student Union which was hopping with people, the strong base of a dance tune almost vibrating through the ground. Willow looked at the scantily clad girls in Halloween costumes that left little to the imagination. They guys were wearing a multitude of different costumes, most of which allowed them to accentuate their masculinity. Many of their costumes appeared much warmer than those of the girls, and some were taking advantage of this by pulling the girls closer to them. They must be freezing their titties off Lots of people were smoking. Willow felt herself hold her breath as she walked through the cloud of cigarette smoke. Further along, there was the faint smell of marijuana and Willow could hear lots of laughing. Willow started to think about the fact that probably last year Tara was one of the girls she was looking at and wondered whether she wanted to know the details. Her question was answered when Tara stated, “I remember last year’s Halloween mixer. I’d never seen so many excuses to wear practically nothing.”

“What did you go as?” asked Willow, hoping that lots of other people hadn’t been privy to the curves that she was looking forward to eventually become accustomed.

“My friends and I just all dressed up like Hippies. I wore this long skirt and this flowing shirt and sandals of my mother’s. She sent me a bunch of her necklaces, and peace sign stuff.”

“That sounds like a relatively comfortable costume. A bit warmer than the ones chosen tonight,” said Willow.

“Yes. It was even colder last year. I had a good time last year.”

“Did you want to go this year?”

“Obviously not, or I would have. It’s really not my thing. Too many guys who think that we are all desperate for male attention. I didn’t know then what I know now, but the guys that I met at the mixers last year just didn’t appeal to me… I wonder why?” Tara looked at Willow and smiled.

When they got to Willow’s dorm, Willow went up the stairs, while Tara walked down the hallway and went up via the back stairway.

Willow entered her bedroom to find that Anya had left a note.

Hey, Roomie. I am off to Boston. I don’t plan to come home tonight, so enjoy. Don’t do anything I’d do. Love Anya.

Willow started looking around her room, making sure that it was relatively neat. She took off her shoes and sweatshirt and plumped the pillows that were against the wall. I wonder where she is?

Tara knocked lightly at Willow’s dorm door, and Willow answered quickly. “I was wondering if you got lost.” She said as she opened the door.

“I stopped to talk to someone from class and used the restroom.”

“Who’d you say you were here to visit?” asked Willow.

Tara put down her bag and took off her shoes and sat on the bed. “I was vague. It’s not like I really know her anyway. You gotta realize that most people truly don’t care Willow.”

“I know. So, what do you want to do? Are you thirsty? Hungry. Want to watch TV? The Love Boat should be on soon, and then Fantasy Island.” Willow was pacing in the room in a frenetic manner.

“Willow, is that really what you want to do, watch Saturday night TV?” asked Tara getting up and putting her arms around Willow.

“I don’t know.” Willow sounded a little frantic and overwhelmed. She took a breath and realized that she was in her girlfriend’s arms. “No…” Willow exhaled and put her chin on Tara’s shoulder.

“Do you have a stereo?” asked Tara.

“Yeah,” replied Willow, pointing to a record, radio, dual-disk player next to her desk.

“Why don’t you put the second side of my tape on and come sit down with me.” Tara released Willow, walked over to where she had put down her bag, found the tape, took it out and handed it to Willow who had followed her to the location of her bag. Tara then sat down on the bed with her back against the wall.

“Ok.” Willow dutifully took the tape from Tara, walked to the stereo, put it in the tape deck, and started the music. The first song that played was “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon.

Willow took a deep breath, walked over to the bed and sat down beside Tara. “Hi,”

“Hi,” Responded Tara, smiling at the red-headed girl. “So, we’ve got your room to ourselves. No chance of Anya walking in…” Tara raised her eyebrows.

“No chance, she’s not back until tomorrow, and I can’t fight this feeling anymore…Willow closed the distance between them and placed her lips upon her girlfriend’s mouth. As she separated to get some air, she whispered, “I’ve been wanting to do that since this morning.”

“Me too,” muttered Tara as she joined their lips again. Tara pulled Willow onto her lap. Tongues dueled for control, hands roamed over backs, Willow’s small breasts pressed into Tara’s somewhat larger ones. Willow moved from Tara’s lips and began kissing Tara’s neck. Tara let out a small groan, as Willow gently sucked behind her ear.

“MMM you like that,” whispered Willow into her ear.

“Uh…huh…” exclaimed Tara. Tara pulled at Willow’s shirt so she could feel the skin between Willow’s jeans and shirt. This feels good. Should I stop before it gets too far. Do we need to talk about the physical parts of our relationship. Something that feels this good can’t be bad, can it? What does she expect? Do we need to talk about our experiences. Tell each other if we’ve done anything risky. All that info on AIDS at the bookstore. Do we need to talk about safe sex? I know I am safe? How do you ask someone this stuff. Tara’s pulling away.

Tara pulled away from Willow and said, “Um, I can hear the hamster wheel turning. What is the matter?”

Willow moved off Tara’s lap, and began looking at her fingers. What do I say? How do I explain?

Tara took her hand and put it under Willow’s chin, bringing the green eyes up to her own blue. “What is going on in that busy head of yours?”

“Nothing?” claimed Willow with a definite note of uncertainty.

“Willow, I am pretty sure that there is never nothing going on inside your head. We’ve got to be able to talk to each other if we want to be in a relationship.”

“But I don’t want to talk,” whined Willow. “I don’t want to ruin the mood with all my thoughts. Shouldn’t we just be making out to Tears for Fears, Head Over Heels?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say the mood is ruined. We’ve still got more good music to make out to, just wait. I can tell that you are thinking about something, and I don’t feel it is right to go back to what we were doing until you tell me what is going on. I want to be making out with all of you, I want you to be present.

Willow asked, “Did you read all of those posters in the bookstore? All the stuff about how important it is to tell your partners about your history, how it is important to have safe sex? To talk before you rock.”

“Those posters were aimed at the guys, not us,” replied Tara.

“I know, but a lot of stuff isn’t known about AIDS. All that advice about talking to potential partners… I feel like we have to talk about stuff.” Willow’s eyes went back to her fingers.

“What stuff are you referring to? Do you think you are at high risk?” Tara thought for a minute about what Willow could possibly be worried about, she asked “Have you had sex with a gay guy Willow?”

“NO,” responded Willow emphatically. “I’ve not had sex with anyone, definitely not a gay guy, not a straight guy. I am 100% a lesbian. No sex with guys. Actually, no sex with anyone.” She paused,” I am old fashioned, I don’t believe in sleeping with someone until…it used to be until I got married, but gay now, so no marriage…” She continued to babble, “I’ve got to be committed to and in love with the person who I sleep with.”

“Sleeping? or,” She made air quotes “sleeping?” asked Tara.

“The second. I’ve never done the first either with anyone I’ve dated, but that idea sort of appeals to me.” Willow looked to Tara to see what she though of what she was saying. “The idea of cuddling and falling asleep seems really nice.” She paused, it was obvious that it was hard for her to be honest about what she was thinking. “Honestly Tara, I know I am supposed to be this “knowledge woman” lesbian, but I’ve really just been a theoretical lesbian. I am almost 20 years old, and I have zilch experience. Sometimes I feel like I am a young teenager, not an adult,” Willow looked down at her fingers again.

“We’ll learn together sweetie,” responded Tara, taking her hands and bringing the green orbs to look at her blue ones. “It sounds like I have dated more than you. I had a boyfriend in high school…but I’ve only dated one girl besides you, and that wasn’t really dating. I still am not sure what it was, but definitely not dating. This is my first dating a girl experience…, and if you are asking, I have a totally clean bill of health. No HIV, no STD’s. I am disease free.”

“Are you ok that I want to go slow…” asked Willow, struggling with keeping eye contact.

“Totally, I agree. I think that it is important that we wait until you are ready. I wasn’t brought up with the whole, ‘wait until you are married’ thing, and my parents were really open about how it was a natural thing, all body positive and that there were urges and ways to deal with them, as well as, ways to keep from getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. My mother bought condoms and left them in our bathroom cabinet, right next to the tampons and pads. I don’t think she’s thought about my safe sex, but if she did, I’m sure she’d be buying dental dams and finger cots.”

“I can’t believe things being that casual in my family. I would never have that kind of conversation with my parents. My mother bought me a book about puberty and reproduction and expected that it would answer any questions I had when I was seven. It was sort of traumatic. I kept thinking that any day I would start bleeding. My parent’s message was always, good girls don’t do it until they are married. For a long time, I’d decided that not getting married was the way to avoid it.” Willow paused, she listened to the music. “Wait, is this Thompson Twin’s Hold Me Now? This is a mixed tape. My girlfriend made a mixed tape for me.”

“Guilty as charged. There is a message in every single song on this side. The other side, there some, but some of it was just music that I like and thought you’d like.”

“So instead of talking, I should be listening.”

“Maybe,” said Tara with her trademark half-smile. “Most of the songs are self-explanatory, but if you want to know why I picked them, you can ask. Can I hold you now?” Tara opened her arms.

“Definitely,” replied Willow as she moved closer and joined her lips to the ruby red lips of her girlfriend. They began sitting up, but slowly moved to lying down beside each other while they listened to Crazy for You by Madonna.

“I am you know,” said Tara to Willow.

“What?” asked Willow who was beginning to get lost in the heavily lidded blue eyes.

“Crazy for you.” Tara’s lips moved forward and captured Willow’s. Her tongue nipped Willow’s lower lip and encouraged it to open. Willow acquiesced and Tara’s strong muscle began exploring Willow’s warm orifice. Willow leaned in closer, putting her hands into Tara’s hair and pulling the girl’s mouth deeper into her own. Tara’s hands grasped again at Willow’s shirt and her arms began kneading at the muscular back of the red-head. Tara rolled onto her back and pulled the smaller girl onto her. Willow’s torso fitting perfectly on top of her, their erect nipples poking out of their shirts and rubbing against the others. Willow tried to take some of her weight onto her knees that were located between Tara’s legs, trying not to put all of her weight onto the other girl’s torso.

As the song Lovergirl by Teena Marie, began. Willow pulled away to get a breath, her arms holding her up above Tara’s prone form. Tara’s sapphire blue orbs looked back into the green, and Tara’s top, left lip quirked up. “You are so beautiful,” commented Willow.

“Not as beautiful as you, but thanks.” Tara took her fingers and touched the indentation of Willow’s collarbone within the V of her polo shirt. “You’re chest is pink.”

“I’m sure that’s not the only part of me that is pink,” responded Willow.

Tara snickered in a sultry manner. “Well for tonight it is probably the only pink part of you I’ll see.”

The realization of all of the other “pink parts” that could be eventually seen made Willow’s eyes bug out.

“I am sure there are at least two pinks that appear to be glad to see me.” She gestured to Willow’s shirt where Willow’s erect nipples were quite visible. Shouldn’t have worn a sports bra. Oh, heck, who cares. Two can play at this game.

“Well, I’ve got to point out that not only am I glad to see you, but you appear to be glad to see me.” Willow looked down at Tara’s top where her nipples were accentuated.

Tara pulled the girl down into another kiss, as they were taking a breath, Tara reversed their positions, and Willow found the brown-haired girl laying on top of her. Tara began placing gentle kisses on Willow’s face and neck. She took one of her earlobes into her mouth and encircled it with her tongue. Once again Willow was surprised that she could feel these ministrations from her head down to her toes with a marked amount of sensation in her breasts and epicenter. Tara kissed down her neck and sucked on the space at the apex of Willow’s collar bone and lightly kissed the exposed skin of her chest. She giggled slightly when the song The Search is Over by Survivor began to play.

“What is so funny?” asked Willow who had lost track of the music and was luxuriating in the feelings she was experiencing.

“Just giggling at the song.”

Willow began listening and realized that the words. “I didn’t even know that I was searching.”

“I’m glad, it made it so that you were available when I came around.” Tara returned to Willow’s mouth and began exploring again. Willow’s arms encircled the girl and pulled her so that they were as close as possible. I am starting to understand how people get themselves in trouble. This feels SO good.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:57 pm 
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 434
DIBS! :whip :bounce :eatme

I love it that Tara realized immediately that the hamster wheel in Willow's brain was running at full speed and that after some gentle coaxing she again got Willow to openly tell what's on her mind.
Good that Tara now knows that Willow isn't a lesbian with vast experience and that they agree on wanting to go slow. Much :wtkiss for them to enjoy until they take this further.

“I didn’t even know that I was searching.”

“I’m glad, it made it so that you were available when I came around.”

AWW... :flower

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:20 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Will's Redemption: I am happy that you liked the searching comment. Tara is very perceptive and is definitely keyed into Willow and her hamster wheel. This will be a frequent metaphor in the story. Thanks for reading.

Learning to Laugh



Spoilers: None. Josh owns the characters, I just imagine different lives for them.
Just realized that last night I posted the wrong piece. So bonus. Two submissions for the price of one. :bigwave

Part 11

By the time that they were ready to start playing the second side of the tape again, Willow’s eyes were beginning to droop. “I should probably get going,” stated Tara starting to move away.

“Don’t you want to stay here?” asked Willow pouting, she pulled the brown haired girl back toward her.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to. I don’t want to rush you,” explained Tara as she cuddled back up. Willow was under her arm with her head on Tara’s shoulder.

“I want you to stay. I can give you some pajamas. I’ve got a spare toothbrush if you want it.” Willow turned to the girl and smiled.

“Seems like you planned this?” teased Tara.

“No…n…not exactly… but I wanted to be prepared. I was never a Girl Scout, but the motto of ‘be prepared’ seemed good to me.”

“I actually have a toothbrush in my bag,” confessed Tara.

“So, you were hoping too?” asked Willow.

“Yeah.” Tara smiled, and kissed Willow again. After another round of kissing, Willow got up and grabbed a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a coordinating tee-shirt for Tara. She went into her closet and changed into her puppy dog pajamas and white tee-shirt. She then left the room to brush her teeth so that Tara would be free to change. When Willow re-entered the room, Tara was holding her toothbrush, but had not changed yet.

“I figured I’d better just go brush my teeth in my regular clothes, and then change. I don’t want to be THAT obvious. I called April and Sue and they are going to say I fell asleep in their room if my roommate asks.”

“That sounds like a good plan. Did they give you trouble?” asked Willow hoping that the two girls hadn’t questioned it.

“April just laughed and yelled over to Sue that I was having my first sleepover.”

“I’m sure that Sue had a clever comeback.”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to share it, if you don’t mind. Trust me, it’s not that important or funny.”

“I will take your word for it.” I wonder what she said, probably something about getting some. “There was no one in the bathroom. You’re probably safe.”

Tara exited the room, used the restroom, and then entered the closet to change her clothes. Once she was changed, she folded her clothes and put them on top of her backpack. Then she went to the stereo and rewound the tape and started it again. As she was standing up from putting the tape it, she saw that Willow was sitting on the bed staring at her.

“Um, Earth to Willow, Come in Willow. I appreciate the gazes, but drooling is a little much.”

“I am not drooling,” asserted Willow as she swallowed. “I am admiring the beautiful body of my girlfriend.” She did a little wiggle happy dance on the bed.” Do you want the inside or the outside?”

“I think it will work better with me on the inside. I can lay against the wall, and we can spoon.”

“Another thing, you’ve thought out?”

“Willow, honestly, I have had a lot of time to think of this stuff. You’ve got to realize it took me almost a month to finally talk to you. I’ve been thinking about dating you for way longer than you’ve even known me. We’ve had this date probably five or six time already.”

“Do we have a good time on these imaginary dates?”

“Oh, yes. Lots and lots of fun,” commented Tara with a devilish look in her eye.

“How did I not see you last year?” asked Willow as she checked the door to make sure it was locked and turned off the light.”

“I don’t know. I remember seeing you in the Art’s Building. I thought that you were some sort of Goth. You were always wearing all black. Little did I know that you were a stagehand/lighting gal, and that was your uniform. We were in different circles. I was with the vapid Upper Campus girls, and you were with the Lower Campus lesbians.” Tara got into the small dorm bed and lay on her side against the wall.

“I actually was mostly at the library, the theater and my room, only occasionally was I supping with the Lower Campus lesbians as you call them.” Willow lay down on the bed; fitting perfectly into the spoon created by Tara’s body.”

Tara put her arm around the smaller girl, settling her hand on the red-headed girl’s stomach.

“It’s like we’re made for each other,” commented Willow as she closed her eyes.

“Uh…huh…” muttered Tara. She began rubbing the girl’s stomach gently in a rhythmic pattern to Tears for Fears Head over Heels.

Within minutes, Willow’s brain went into overdrive. OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG. I am in bed with a girl. Not just any girl, but with Tara, a really pretty, really nice girl, and she has her hand on my stomach, and I can feel her breathing on my back, and she is so soft, and warm, and I was tired, but now I’m not. She made me a mixed tape. People make mixed tapes for people they like. I think the song that is starting is What about Love by Heart. Is this love. Am I going to fall in love. Have I fallen in love. Is she going to love me. I’m in bed with Tara and I am supposed to be falling asleep, but OMG, I am in bed with her. I am going to be sleeping with someone else.”

“Creak, Creak, Creak” whispered Tara into Willow’s ear.

Willow turned over so she was facing her girlfriend. “Huh?”

Tara took her hand and started rubbing Willow’s head. “That’s the sound of the hamster wheel turning. It needs some grease. It’s going pretty fast I think.”

“How do you know when my hamster wheel is spinning?” asked Willow.

“Well, your heartbeat speeds up, and your breathing gets faster, and I can just feel it/sense it. You are not relaxed; you are wound up like a spring.

“Really?” asked Willow. She tried to slow down her breathing with the hope that this would make her heartbeat slow down.” Just close your eyes and feel the calm vibes coming from your girlfriend’s hands.

Tara moved onto her back and scooted her head up so that she was at a slight incline. She encouraged Willow lay on her side and put her active brain on Tara’s lower chest/stomach. Tara began petting Willow’s head, gently smoothing the wavy red hair, and making small circles on her temple. It seemed that she was trying to send calming vibes into the overactive brain.

Willow continued to try to take deep, slow breaths and to focus on the sensations. The current song was Wham’s Everything You Want. Willow willed herself to listen to the music and catch the relevant lines. She was laying on Tara’s stomach, the back of her head against Tara’s breasts. Boobies, Tara Boobies, soft Tara boobies She admonished herself, Not going to calm you down Willow. Breathe in, breathe in, breathe out. Tara’s in your bed, she is rubbing your head, you won’t be dead, will she call you Red? Willow smiled, and a small giggle came out.

“What?” asked Tara quietly.

“Dr. Seuss in my head. Sorry.”

“Seriously, you are thinking about Dr. Seuss?”

“No, I was making a rhyme and it made me think of Dr. Seuss. He was a great writer you know. He wrote a book that had only 50 unique words in it,” shared Willow happy that she had an opportunity to share that piece of trivia.

“Willow, you do sleep, right? I am not going to find out that you don’t sleep, you just spend all night reading or studying.”

“No, I sleep. Do I sometimes have trouble calming my head down, yes. But I usually sleep at least 7 hours a night.”

“I’m a girl that needs at least 8 hours. So, we should try to get some sleep, Sweetie. I’ve got to do research for my paper tomorrow. I was hoping to get to the library by 10,” commented Tara.

Willow sat up. “Ok, it is 11:30 now. Eight hours is 7:30, let’s round it up to 8:00. That gives us an hour to make out, and an hour to get breakfast and get ready to study and we can be in the library at 10 sharp. You to find your information and me to find mine. We can meet downstairs in the journal sub-basement at noon, enjoy our corner of the library for 15-20 minutes. Separate again, study until 2:30. Meet up again and see where we are in our quest to write our papers. My hope is that I can be in the computer lab typing after dinner, which I hope we can do together.” Willow looked over at Tara. Her eyes appeared to be glassing over. “Too much? It was just an idea. I like schedules. I like to plan in rewards. Getting to kiss you is the best reward I can think of, but we don’t have to do anything I just suggested, you can go do your thing, I’ll do mine and if we can see each other, then that is great, if not, well maybe on Monday…” Willow found her babbling stopped by soft lips joining hers.

As Tara pulled away, she said, “Sounds like a good plan. Now you lay back down, I’ll do my head calming trick again, and we will go to sleep until we wake up. Ok?”

“Ok,” said Willow returning to what she suspected would become her favorite pillow. “Good night Tara.”

“Good night, sweetheart,” Willow began to doze during the Police’s Every Breath You Take and she realized that Tara’s hands were slowing down and rhythmic breathing was coming from the brown-haired girl, Willow fell asleep to The Eurythmics Sweet Dreams.

Part 12

Willow woke up and wondered How did my pillow get so comfortable and warm She quickly realized that rather than on a pillow, her head was nestled on her girlfriend’s chest. She could hear Tara’s heartbeat and her rhythmic breathing. Tara’s tee-shirt had risen above her pajama’s and Willow was able to see the creamy skin with a dimpled indentation. Willow suppressed the urge to touch the skin she was looking at and tried to stay quiet and calm. Ok, this sleeping with someone is definitely nice. Especially the waking up. Willow tried to force herself to sleep, but the fullness of her bladder would not allow this. Willow slowly extricated herself from her girlfriend’s chest and quietly moved off the bed, walked to the door and left the room.

After she had used the bathroom, Willow looked at herself in the mirror. Do I look different? I feel like I look more relaxed. I can’t stop smiling. That’s it. I usually am not smiling when I look in the mirror. There is a girl in my bed!!!! Willow thought excitedly. Should I brush my teeth, so I don’t have morning breath? Yeah, that would be good. You don’t want to have gross morning breath. Willow continued to smile at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth.

When Willow returned to her room, she saw that Tara had spread on the bed and pulled the covers over herself. Willow stood looking at the vision of her girlfriend in her bed and wished that she could take a photo, so she’d remember this experience forever.

“What are you looking at, you ok? Is it time to get up?” asked Tara sleepily. Her eyes opened for a moment and then closed again.

“I had to use the bathroom. It’s still kind of early. We can sleep some more.”

“Ok,” Tara settled back onto the pillow.

Willow crept under the covers and lay in the small space not occupied by Tara. She tried to close her eyes and settle back to sleep, but it was hard to do so. She fought the desire to just stare at the other girl, knowing that it would be creepy. I don’t want to scare Tara. Then she won’t want to sleep over again. She put her head adjacent to Tara’s shoulder and put her arm around the sleeping girl. She realized that this placed her hand very close to Tara’s breast. Just hang, don’t grab. she told herself. She felt her hand joined by Tara’s hand which pressed the hand into her breast. Well this is ok, she’s the one doing it. It won’t look like I am trying to cop a feel. Willow worked hard to keep her breathing slow and in control. It was difficult, she struggled with the echoing reminder within her head that I have my hand on her breast. . Willow closed her eyes and enjoyed the soft, warm sensation. After a few minutes, she felt the hand above her own start to move. She opened her eyes and saw the blue of her girlfriend’s eye.

“Did you or I do that?” whispered Tara. Looking at the two hands on her breast.

“You?” stated Willow in a bashful manner.

“But you didn’t fight it.”

“No. I’m sorry.” Willow tried to pull her hand away, but Tara’s hand held it down.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Tara smiled. “It feels good. Warm. Comfortable. Natural.” She paused, “What time is it?”

“Last time I looked it was about 7:00.”

“So, we’re a little ahead of the game? Our designated make out time?”

Willow laughed, “I guess.”

“I’m not sure that I can go back to sleep knowing that your hand is on my breast. In fact, I am pretty sure that my brain has registered that your hand is on my breast and is reacting on its own.”

Willow realized that not only could she feel the stiffening of the one she was holding, but also the other on her forearm. “What do you want to do about that?” whispered Willow.

Tara turned her head, placed her lips on Willow’s and squeezed the hand covering her breast.

Willow took the hint and began lightly squeezing and touching Tara’s breast. As her fingers began touching the hard nub, Tara pulled Willow closer, her tongue pressed into the red-head’s lips and when given entrance her soft muscle explored the warm velvet of Willow’s cheeks and tongue. As this was happening, Willow felt Tara’s hand on her breast. Her thumb playing with the hard pearl that was pressing against Willow’s tee-shirt. Once again, Willow remarked inside of her head I can’t believe how many places I feel her tongue and hand .

After a few minutes of making out, Tara pulled away. “Um, I’ve got to answer the call of nature,” she said as she climbed out of the bed “Don’t go anywhere.”

“I have no intention of going anywhere.” Willow lay on the bed, We’ve moved to touching breast over the clothes. Furthest I’ve gone ever. I wonder what kind of experience Tara’s had. She’s kinda squirrely, her comments are vague. I know that it’s because who really wants to know about their partner’s past. I am sort of afraid if I ask, I’ll get all intimidated and it will get awkward. I think I read somewhere that it’s different with every person. Think about the present, not the past or future. She put your hand on her boob. They are so soft. I look forward to the time that I get to see them up close and personal. Really last night, I told her a lot of where I stand. All she added to me was that she had a clean bill of health, she’d had a boyfriend, where does Buffy figure into all of this. I’m afraid to ask. It’s not important. Just relax Rosenberg and wait patiently for your girlfriend to return. Willow looked down at her chest. Her nipples were no longer pushing at the tee-shirt. Have they always done that. I think I am more aware of my breasts than I’ve ever been other than when they started popping up. Willow pondered her breasts for a few moments, and then Tara came into the room.

“I bumped into Aimee in the bathroom. She just smiled,” said Tara as she entered the room.

“She’s cool. Nothing to worry about

“Willow, I’m not worried. If I’m going to be spending the night here sometimes, I can’t expect that the hallways and bathrooms are always going to be empty. I bumped into a guy leaving one of the rooms too. It looked like he was kinda doing the walk of shame. Wearing sweats and a tee-shirt, backpack on his back.”

“Blond guy, kinda tall. No facial hair?” asked Willow as she moved so that Tara could get back into the bed.

“Yep.” Tara got into the bed and lay down like she’d been before.

“That’s Travis. Coleen’s boyfriend. He has to go to work, so you usually see him in the mornings.”

“I’ll make a point to call him by name.”

“Too much information?” asked Willow.

“Come back in here and let’s get back to where we were before I so rudely interrupted us,” Tara said in a sultry manner.

Willow lay down next to Tara. She felt awkward just putting her hand on Tara’s breast. Tara pulled Willow closer and joined her lips to the red-head’s. Her hand took Willow’s and unceremoniously placed Willow’s hand back onto her breast. I guess she really likes this. Willow quickly discovered that it was very hard to pay attention to what her mouth was doing and what her hands. She knew that as Tara’s kisses became more ardent, that her touch became less gentle. However, it did not seem that Tara minded, in fact she moaned a few times when Willow began playing with the puckered flesh.

This experience of her mind not being in total control of her body was a new one for Willow. Her parents had not been particularly demonstrative people. She’d gotten an occasional hug from her father, but her interactions with her mother were always at arms distance. This had caused Willow to not be particularly tactile with others. In high school, some of the straight girls would hold hands, or sit on the couch in the Senior lounge like puppies, all intertwined. This seemed to be something that the straight girls could do, if she’d done it, she was sure that she would have been perceived as ‘coming on’ or something equally inappropriate. She’d actually not ever yearned to be close to another human until Kate, and closeness, unless very guarded, was taboo.

Tara removed her mouth from Willow’s. “You ok?”

“Yeah, just thinking too much. It’s the bane of my existence.”

“What are you thinking about?” Tara rolled onto her side so their eyes were parallel with Willow’s.

“Touch, and how I’ve not had much. I’ve pretty much been a tactiphobe. My parents are not warm people, and I was always afraid that my touch would be misconstrued. I was thinking about how some of the girls I went to high school with would hang all over each other. I never imagined doing that in public.”

“I was probably one of those girls you are talking about. My friends would come over and we’d all be in my bed talking and joking around. I can’t count the number of times I woke up and found that I had fallen asleep on someone’s stomach.”

“Today was my first experience with that.” Willow said as she blushed.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. You are starting this off way ahead of me. I’m afraid that I am going to hold you back.” Willow couldn’t maintain eye contact.

Tara’s hand went to Willow’s chin and brought them back to eye contact. “It makes it fun. I get to wonder what we’re going to do this time. It’s like I get to introduce you to all of these sensual experiences. It’s kinda cool.”

“Willow, Tara’s science experiment.”

“That’s not what I meant,” said Tara somewhat defensively.

“I know. But wouldn’t it be better if I didn’t have all these hang ups. You deserve a chill girlfriend.”

“Willow, I know that I am probably going to have to tell you this at least 100 more times, but I chose you. I wanted to date you. You are you. I like you just the way you are. I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and I realize that at first, I am probably going to have to take the lead, because you’ll be so worried that you’ll do something wrong, that you won’t do anything. That is why when I saw your hand so close to my boob, that I put your hand on it and made you realize that I was totally into you touching me. Was it ok? That I touched your breast?”

“Uh huh,” replied Willow with a half-smile that indicated how good that had felt. “I liked it a lot.”

“Would it help if we made a list of the different possible stages and talked about what you are open to periodically?” asked Tara.


“Well, there is kind of a progression. I’m guessing it could be a little different for gay people. Have you ever heard of the bases?”

“Yeah, but never knew exactly what second and third were. I knew one was French kissing, and a home run was sex.”

“Yeah, second and third base are pretty much what I consider sex for lesbians.”


“So, would it help Willow. Maybe if you knew what you were agreeing to, you could just feel and stop thinking.”

“I don’t know. It all sounds so complicated. I feel like I make simple things into a big deal.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to find out that you make things that I think are a big deal into things that are simple.”

“As I said before, huh?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a feeling. When I have an example, I’ll tell you.”

“I feel like we are wasting our make out time.”

“I don’t think that any time we spend together, talking, sleeping, kissing, watching soccer is a waste. It makes me happy.”

“What did I do to deserve you? Whatever, thank the goddesses or gods.”

“That’s a conversation we’ve not had. Religion. I know you are Jewish because we talked about you Bat Mitzvah.”

“Yes, more culturally than religiously. I haven’t quite found a spirituality that makes sense for me. The whole science vs Gd thing. You?”

“You’re going to think I’m weird.”

"I doubt it."

“Well, I am mostly Pagan with a touch of Christianity.”


“Yep. My mom comes from a long line of pagans, Wicca actually. My Dad was brought up Christian, but he isn’t too into it. My dad’s parents are into Church, so we go with them sometimes.”


“You don’t think it is weird?”

“No. I think it is cool. When I was in high school, I did a whole term paper on Wicca, I read a lot of Starhawk.”


“Why would I lie?”

“I haven’t met anyone at this whole school, who even knows what Wicca is, and now I’m dating a girl who has studied about it and actually knows who Starhawk is.”


“What about Kissing?”

“Not kissing, Kismet…destiny.”

“I believe in it.”

“Me too.”

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 11, 2019)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:02 am 
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 85
Great updates moving the story forward. It really felt like an authentic experience for the version of Tara and Willow that you're writing. I think you capture the loveliness of the joyful simplicity of spooning and snuggling really well. I think there is something so intimate about these chapters, like where Willow is really exposing her emotions by explaining her problems with touch. I'm enjoying each update very much.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 11, 2019)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 12:51 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass: I am glad that you feel like it is authentic. I am trying for it to seem realistic. I think that my Willow has yearned for someone to tell things to, but not found anyone before Tara.

Interlude 2: Letters from Tara to herself.

10/27/85; 9:15 am
Hey Tara, you had a great time in Boston. You got lots of close time with Willow sitting on the bus, on the T, during the game. You went to Glad Day and were hassled by a homeless lady, but she had a really good Boston accent and it gave me an opportunity to flirt with Willow. I can’t believe how much I flirt with her. Anya, Willow’s roommate, went to Boston overnight, so you got to spend the night at Willow’s. Getting to sleep with her was as great as you thought it was going to be. She’s got less experience that I thought. She wants to take it slow, so I am just trying to think of the positives that come along with not going fast. The affect that Willow has on your brain and body is amazing. You have never felt this kind of connection with anyone. It is hard to explain, but when you are with her you feel wonderful, safe and sensual. Willow told you that she has never been a very tactile person. But it seems that she wants to be touching you all the time, and you want to be doing it too. I suggested that I write down different levels of intimacy so Willow can feel more in control of what is going to happen. That makes it so I need to break it down too. We’ve gotten to French Kissing and touching above the waist over the clothes. It took all of my control to stay over her shirt. I wanted so much to touch her breasts, take those nubs into my mouth. But I don’t want to rush her. Right now, you are supposed to be getting ready to go to the library. We agreed to meet in the basement stacks at noon to reward ourselves for studying. I worry that just knowing that she is in the library is going to make me want to find her rather than find the materials for my paper. I have a feeling that she’s got better self-control when it comes to studying than I do. I guess we will see.

10:00 pm
Willow has so much self-control. We managed to both get all of our needed reference materials found and we went to the computer lab to start writing the papers. Both of our papers are due on Thursday, I don’t think I’ve ever been this ahead of writing a paper. I think that Willow is going to be a good influence on me academically. It motivated me to get stuff done so that we could sneak down into the sub-basement. We had three 15 minute breaks. It made spending the whole day in the library manageable. We made a point of sitting with her friends again for dinner. I think that they are starting to realize that I am not a figment of Willow’s imagination. Well, classes start again tomorrow. Good Night.

10/28/85 10:00
Hey Tara, Wow. Monday’s are busy days for Willow. She starts at 8 and ends at 6:30. I waited for her at the entrance to the Art’s Building, and we made it to the cafeteria right before they started closing up. We took our dinner “to go” and went to Willow’s room. She was ravenous. With some persistent questioning, I realized that Willow hadn’t eaten anything but a granola bar all day. She said that she woke up late, but I suspect that this is the norm rather than the exception. I think that I will have to meet her after her Geometry class at 9:30 with some food and a snack. I suspect that she gets so focused on her studies that she ‘forgets to eat’. I swear she lives on granola bars. I think that next time I go to the store, I’m going to buy a few boxes and make sure that she always has at least two in her bag. Is it normal that I am worried about her eating. I sometimes feel that nobody has really watched out for her. Is it weird that I want to take care of her? This having a girlfriend is a lot different from a boyfriend. I don’t think I ever worried about anything other than him cheating on me. But I guess I knew that he always had his parents to look out for him. I am so thankful for my parents. I know that I have said it before, but I really think that hanging with Willow is going to improve my grades. She has such a work ethic. We ended up spending a little time making out. Nothing new. But then Willow insisted that we do homework. I think Anya thought we were crazy. She walked into the room, and there we were sitting on Willow’s bed studying. I am happy doing anything, as long as Willow’s beside me.

10/30/85 10:30
I didn’t write yesterday, because there wasn’t much to say. Willow had to spend most of her night at doing a computer project, so all we saw each other was at lunch. Another busy Wednesday. I did the grabbing Willow some food and meeting her after her Math class. She seemed really surprised to see me but was thankful for the PB&J and apple juice. She said that she’s just not hungry at 7:30 but admitted that she sometimes got really hungry in her theater class. We have our classes in the same building, so that works out well for either meeting before class or after or both. Today’s soccer game was here, so she joined me in the stands after her lab got out. I had grabbed her a turkey sandwich and she was really thankful. Do I write too much about food. It really does seem that I’m obsessed with it. I think I like the away games better. Here, we had to kinda keep our distance. I got a few weird looks when she was sitting near me, but I just ignored them. We lost, but April and Sue and Augie played well. It got really cold. I think I might have to wear long underwear to the next game. Afterwards, we both went to the computer room to finish our papers. I was done before Willow, so I just said goodnight and came home to write my letter. I don’t know how she does it. Her classes seem so intense.

10/31/85 11:00
Dear Tara, Happy Halloween. Our dorm had a party and it was fun. I think I’d rather have been over at Willow’s, but my roommate keeps asking me where I am and made me promise I’d go to the party. I don’t know why she cares. Willow had to go to her own party, so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I think that we aren’t going to be seeing each other very much on weekdays. But tomorrow is Friday, and we are planning on getting together after her work. I’m pretty busy too. I’ve got to finish my 3-D art, and I’ve got a drawing portfolio due next week. I can’t believe it is November tomorrow. This time has gone so fast. I think I am regretting having that stupid long Friday night shift. I feel like I am losing a weekend night with Willow.

11/1/85 11:45
Oh, My Goddess. I feel like I need a cold shower. Willow got me all hot and bothered. I don’t know if she realizes the effect she has on my body. I know that we haven’t been dating very long, and I want to respect her desire to go slow. My brain says go slow, but my body is fighting it. She says that she doesn’t know what to do, but then she does it perfectly. I guess it’s not too hard to figure out, but wow. I am so glad that it is the weekend. I feel like I hardly saw her all week and she said that this was a ‘typical’ week. I’ve got to spend some time in the pottery room this weekend, hopefully she can bring some of her homework and come with me. I suspect that she can. We are going to the game tomorrow. Hopefully Anya will be going somewhere so that we can spend more time in Willow’s room. Am a horndog? I don’t know. Maybe…. ‘til tomorrow.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 12:34 am 
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 85
Loving Tara's streams of consciousness! I wasn't sure when you said you were gonna introduce Tara's POV but it totally works, and the fact that it's in the form of journal entries is a great way of doing it without interrupting the flow of the story. It's more of an interlude I guess and it provides us with an understanding that Tara is figuring out what Willow needs, and how she can support her.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 10:59 pm 
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 434
Yay for them "sleeping together" and spooning for the first time and for Tara getting Willow to open up even more.

“Creak, Creak, Creak” whispered Tara into Willow’s ear.

Willow turned over so she was facing her girlfriend. “Huh?”

Tara took her hand and started rubbing Willow’s head. “That’s the sound of the hamster wheel turning. It needs some grease. It’s going pretty fast I think.”


“Willow, I know that I am probably going to have to tell you this at least 100 more times, but I chose you. I wanted to date you. You are you. I like you just the way you are.

Yes Tara, that's the stuff Willow needs to hear as often as possible!

Is it normal that I am worried about her eating. I sometimes feel that nobody has really watched out for her. Is it weird that I want to take care of her?

Aww, Tara it's not weird but perfectly normal that you want to take care of your girl!

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:59 am 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass: I am glad that the interludes make sense to you. I am trying to use them as a way to push the movement ahead and give a glimpse of what Tara is thinking.

Will's redemption: YaY comments. :banana I am glad that you liked the hamster wheel, the reminders, and the fact that Tara is self-conscious about her taking care of Willow. Good Advice. Thanks for feedback. It gives me a broad smile. More to be posted later today.

Learning to Laugh
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I just imagine different lives for our characters.

Part 12

Willow and Tara ate dinner and went to the library, Tara to work and Willow to study. Willow knew that Tara needed to focus on her work, so she went to her favorite science nook and set herself up for a night of studying. She had several projects due, as well as, a test to prepare for in Physics of Chemistry. She began working and was surprised that when she was at a good stopping point, it was only 10:00. She had another hour to wait for her girlfriend to be done with work. Tara’s comments about making a list had been niggling in her brain, and Willow decided to do what she always did when she was unsure of something. She decided to look it up. Willow went to the HQ section of the library. She was pleased to see that there were very few people the stacks and nobody in the section. Willow stood in front of the chosen section and looked for a book that would help her in her quest to determine what kind of things that Tara could put on a list if she decided to do so. Every time that Willow entered this section, she had perceived her rapid heartbeat, flushing and general activation of her nervous system as feeling anxious because she thought that she was doing something ‘wrong’. However, after the experience of several ‘make out’ sessions with Tara, she realized that most of the sensations that she had labeled “anxiety” were excitement.

Willow knew that Our Bodies Ourselves was always a tried and true option. But she had looked over the chapter on lesbian sex before and had been faced with the fact that there was no single definition of what constituted sex. Willow was looking at the array of books and saw a volume which had the title Lesbian Sex . Well, you can’t be any clearer than that thought Willow to herself. Willow took the book and went to a chair that was nearby. She paged through the book; there were lots of line drawings of women doing many different sexual acts. Just looking at some of them made Willow feel uncomfortable while others made her feel aroused and interested. She looked at the table of contents and saw that there was a chapter on foreplay. That seemed to her to be what most likely would be on the list that Tara suggested. Willow looked through the chapter. There were line drawings of many activities, some that she was familiar with, and others she knew about but didn’t know the name. One activity that she hadn’t thought of was reading erotica to a partner. That seems like fun thought the nerdy lesbian.

When it was almost 11:00, Willow returned the book to where she had found it and walked up to the circulation desk where she knew her beloved was working. The brown-haired girl smiled at her when she saw her, made a motion to her watch, and put one palm out indicating five more minutes. Willow went to the front of the library and sat down on a bench. She sat thinking about the pictures that she’d been looking at and wondered which of the activities they would do next. She must have been in her own dream world, because after what she thought was a minute, but her watch said 10, Tara was standing in front of her, her backpack on her shoulder, and a broad smile on her face.
“What were you day-dreaming about?” asked Tara.

“Nothing, just spacing out,” answered Willow, not yet able to share her elicit thoughts with the taller girl.

“Are you tired, do you want to go to sleep,” said Tara quickly, “If you are, it’s ok. We can see each other in the morning.”

“No, definitely not,” responded Willow louder and more emphatically than she had planned. Several people looked back at them, and Willow ducked her head.

“Well, that’s clear,” stated Tara smiling.

“Sorry, I just was hoping that we could spend some time together. But if you’re tired, I can walk you back to your dorm,” commented Willow nervously.

“No, definitely not, to quote someone I know. My reward for work was to get some Willow time.” Tara bumped Willow with her shoulder.

“I like the sound of that.” Willow smiled, and they started walking quickly toward Willow’s dorm, partially because it was cold, and partially because they both wanted to get there as soon as possible. Once they got to the modern dorm, Willow went up the side staircase, while Tara walked through the lobby, through the hallway and up the back staircase. Willow climbed up the two flights of stairs, walked to the second doorway on the right, and opened her dorm door. She saw Tara coming through the far door, so she left her door open and walked into her room. Willow walked to the stereo and put Tara’s tape on. As she was standing up, her girlfriend was coming through the door and closing it with a thud.

“I feel like I haven’t really seen you since last weekend,” exclaimed Willow. She threw herself down on her bed and patted a space for Tara. Tara kicked off her shoes and put her backpack beside Willow’s. She flopped onto the bed next to Willow and put her head on Willow’s lap.

“I know, do you think every week is going to be as busy as this one?” asked Tara.

Willow began playing with Tara’s hair. “It was a pretty typical week for me. I’m sorry…”

“Nothing to be sorry about sweetie,” exclaimed Tara looking up at the green orbs.

“Classes have always been the way that I’ve kept myself busy. I’ve really never had anything else other than theater to do, and the rehearsals and performances are usually after typical class hours and weekends. I am pretty sure I’m going to regret some of the things that I have agreed to do for the rest of the semester.”

“No regrets, it is clear that working in the theater gives you joy.”

“I really do like it, but I like being with you more,” stated Willow.

“I like being with you too. I am suspecting that I will find myself being in the theater a lot more than I have in the past.” Tara took Willow’s hand into her own and started playing with her fingers.

“I see myself getting more familiar with the visual arts parts of the building too. How are your pitchers doing?”

“I have to get what I want in the kiln done by this Wednesday. The following week I glaze them and then they will be fired again. I probably have a few hours of work left. I’ve got to sign up for a kiln shift too. Any preferences for when you’d like to be babysitting the ceramics?”

“You know my schedule. I’ll help you watch the kilns whenever.”

Tara looked up at Willow, “Do we know when to expect Anya?”

“I unfortunately have no idea. She made a point to tell me that she doesn’t care if you sleep over even when she is here.”

“Oh, that could be a little weird, don’t you think?” asked Tara.

“I don’t know…I really liked when you spent the night. I liked waking up with you. I’d hate to think it can only happen when she’s gone.”

“Well, my roommate is going to start suspecting something if I don’t make it home. She’s made some offhand comments about not seeing me as much anymore.”

“What do you say?”

“Nothing. I just shrug and say that I’m pretty busy.”

“And she accepts that?” asked Willow.

“She hasn’t pushed it.”

“I guess that is good…So shall we take advantage of this non-Anya time?” asked Willow as she looked at Tara through half-lidded eyes.”

“Definitely.” Tara moved her head off Willow’s lap. Willow lay down on her side, and Tara lay beside her. Their lips met in the middle. Their mouths opened, and they each explored the soft, wet, silken mouths of the other. Willow gently nudged Tara onto her back and lay on top of the slightly larger girl. As Willow’s tongue tangoed with Tara’s, Willow thought of some of the pictures that she had been looking at just an hour ago. She straddled one of her girlfriend’s legs, placing her hip/leg into the apex of her girlfriend’s legs and putting her own core onto the girl’s leg. Tara returned the pressure, pulling Willow closer and grinding their legs and cores together. Willow could feel her arousal and wondered if her jean clad center was going to become soaked with her desire. She could feel the heat of her girlfriend’s center against her leg, and her movements telegraphed that she was moving in ways that would cause pleasure for them both. Willow felt Tara’s hand snake under her shirt and touch the hard nubs that were poking out of her bra.

“Is this ok?” whispered Tara, as she pinched one of Willow’s erect nipples.

“Yes,” answered Willow as she pulled Tara’s shirt out of her jeans and searched for the feel of Tara skin. Her fingers touched Tara’s stomach and slowly moved up to the hard pearl underneath Tara’s lacy bra. She fondled the peak an was in awe that it fit perfectly in her hand. Willow felt Tara’s hands leaving her breast and moving to her butt. Tara placed her hand into Willow’s back pockets and pulled the girl closer nudging her leg into her center. The feeling made Willow’s breath come in ragged inhalations. She felt that the only oxygen available was being produced by her girlfriend’s mouth. She sucked and drove her tongue into Tara’s mouth. Willow’s brain could not keep up with the sensations that were occurring. She chose to shut down her conscious brain, and focus on the sensations, as she was making this conscious decision, Willow heard two raps on the door.

“Shit,” exclaimed Willow rolling off Tara and laying beside her.

“Yeah,” said Tara with a sigh.

Willow looked at Tara’s eyes. Her pupils were so dilated that she could hardly see the sapphire blue. Tara’s breathing was rapid, and her face was flushed.

The knocking occurred again, and then they heard the key enter the lock, and Anya walked into the room’s foyer.
“You guys decent.” Anya asked.

“Of course, “answered Willow.

“Ok, just checking.” Anya walked into the room and turned on the overhead light. Both Willow and Tara groaned and covered their eyes.

“Sorry, I just need to grab something, and then I’ll turn it off. Hey, Tara. Good to see you again,” said Anya in a cheery manner.

“Hey,” responded Tara, her voice somewhat gravely.

Anya looked at the two girls laying on the bed and laughed. “You guys must have been up to some seriously heavy petting, you both look…look… I don’t know how to explain it, but you look like you’ve been doing some major making out.”

“Thanks for the feedback,” commented Willow.

Tara sat up on the bed and started looking for her shoes. “I guess I better get going.”

“You don’t have to leave on my behalf. You can stay if you want,” commented Anya.

“I suspect that we’ll get to that point eventually, but now I think I need to go back to my room. My roommate is not half as cool as you, and I don’t want to face any awkward questions.”

“Your choice,” commented Anya. She grabbed her pajamas and a towel. “I’ll be in the bathroom for at least 15 minutes,
so you can be saying your goodnights. See you later Tara.”

“Bye,” replied Tara.

After Anya left, Tara stated, “Well, that was sort of awkward, and sort of not. She is so cool.”

“Yeah, it seems that Anya was brought up kinda like you. She can talk about sexuality without missing a beat. She says that she may want to be a sex therapist. She’s studying psychology.”

“Makes sense.”

“Are you sure that you have to go?” asked Willow with a wistful voice.

“Yeah.” Tara placed a soft kiss on Willow’s lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast, right, and then we’ll go to the game?”

“Yeah. What time?” inquired Willow.


“Why don’t you call when you get up. The game is at noon?”

“Yeah. Ok, I’ll call you tomorrow morning.” Tara kissed Willow, grabbed her bag and exited the room.

Willow got up, grabbed her pajamas, a towel and her hygiene basket. When she went into the bathroom, Anya was just about to enter the shower.

“She’s left already?”

“Yeah. You know what Anya?”


“I now understand why people take cold showers.”

Her roommate laughed, walked toward her, and said sub-vocally, “So, she got you all hot and bothered?”

“Uh huh.” Willow nodded and walked into the shower stall.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 16, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:45 am 
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 85
Oh dibs on that. It really made me laugh that Willow did some 'research' on lesbian sex! I'm glad that she is feeling comfortable and confident enough to start exploring. I see you've hit over a thousand views, so congratulations on that. It proves that there's still an interest in new fiction.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 16, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 5:06 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
It really made me laugh that Willow did some 'research' on lesbian sex! I'm glad that she is feeling comfortable and confident enough to start exploring. I see you've hit over a thousand views, so congratulations on that. It proves that there's still an interest in new fiction.

Congrats on dibs. I am glad that it made you laugh. I could so imagine Willow going to the library for 'research'. Thanks for the congrats for being over 1000 views. I have been seeing the count on both of my stories consistently going up, so people are viewing and I assume that the majority are reading as well. I would love to know who these people are, and why they don't want to comment. As I say each time, thank you so much for your continued commenting. It keeps me posting and writing.

Learning to Laugh
Spoilers: None, Josh owns the characters, I realize that many of the quirks and mannerisms are actually Amber's not Tara's, but as Amber writes in her essay on fanfic, often the two are intertwined. I make no money off this, and write for the pure joy of writing.

Part 13

Willow woke up to the ringing of the telephone. “Hello,” she drowsily answered.

“Willow, this is Tara. You’re not awake yet?”

“Um. I am now. What time is it?” Willow fumbled around looking for her alarm clock and discovering that it had fallen off the desk and was no longer plugged into the outlet.

“10:30. Do you want me to just grab you a bagel and bring it to your room?”

Willow looked over at her roommate’s side of the room. Anya’s bed was made, and her backpack gone.

“Yeah, sure… that would be nice. Cinnamon-raisin if they have them.”

“with plain cream cheese. I know your preference.” Said Tara, “and I am looking forward to more of your preferences,” she added in a vixenish manner.

“Promises, promises,” Willow answered with an equally flirtatious manner. She lay back down on her bed and pondered the concept of preferences.

“I’ll see you in a few.”

“Great,” responded Willow. She tried to motivate herself to get out of the bed. She’d had a very hard time sleeping the night before. The cold shower had gotten her body calmed down, but her mind was a different story. She’d fallen asleep rather quickly, but been awakened several times by very clear, sexual dreams where she and Tara were going much farther than her conscious mind had set as the limit. This had made her wake up hot and bothered and slightly disappointed that it was only a dream. She closed her eyes to remember one of the dreams and fell asleep until there was a knock on the door.

Willow jumped out of bed and opened the door. It seemed that Tara was surprised to find a pajama clad, bed-headed Willow.

“Did you fall back to sleep sweetie?” she asked as she entered the room with a paper bag in her hand and a full backpack on her shoulder. Tara was dressed in a pair of jeans, a pink button -down shirt with a white tee-shirt underneath, a blue windbreaker, and a pair of hiking boots.

“I guess, sorry.” Willow tried to wipe the sleep out of her eyes and use her hands to flatten her hair.

“Did you fall asleep with your hair wet?”

“Um…” Willow put her hands on the back of her head and could feel the tangles. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“You look really cute and sexy,” Tara purred. She looked from her pajama clad girlfriend to the tousled unmade bed. She put down the backpack and food bag, took off her jacket and boots and sat down on the bed, beckoning the red-head to join her.

Willow walked toward the bed as though a magnet was pulling at her. Tara in her bed was a force that was irresistible. Tara pulled Willow onto her lap and took put her mouth on Willow’s.

They began to kiss, and Tara pulled Willow as close to her own body as possible. Her hands were on Willow’s pajama clad bottom. Willow could feel Tara’s peaks pressing against her own and this sensation brought a flood of visions from her dreams. Willow closed her eyes to enjoy the sensations, trusting Tara to not take advantage. As their mouths separated and Willow’s brain came back on-line, she realized that she had morning breath.

“Oh, sorry about the morning breath.”

“I didn’t notice. You tasted as good as usual,” replied Tara. “Should I ask what interfered with your sleep?”

“Just dreams and I kept waking up.”

“Good dreams?” asked the brown-haired girl, her left lip going up into her sexy smile.

“Yeah, good ones.” Willow broadly smiled back.

“I had some good dreams too. Of course, that was after I had to take a very cold shower.” Tara kissed Willow on the nose.

“You too?”

“Definitely.” She looked at her girlfriend. “There wasn’t one dream that I wouldn’t like to reproduce or at least explain to you; however, as much as I’d like to just stay here and keep this bed warm, I’ll never hear the end of it if we don’t make it to the beginning of the game. I hear Augie is going to start.

“Ok, Ok.” Willow got off Tara’s lap, kissed her on the forehead, and went into her closet to find clothes. She exited the closet in a pair of jeans and a green hooded sweatshirt. In her hands were some socks and her Converses.

“Do you want me to help you comb out the tangles in your hair? My sister says that I have a great skill of detangling without pain,” inquired Tara.

“Sure,” said Willow grabbing a comb and brush and sitting in front of Tara. Tara gently combed and brushed through the long wavy red hair, trying hard not to pull it. Willow closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of the brush and her girlfriend’s hands in her hair. She put on her socks and shoes.

“Ponytail?” asked Tara as she brushed Willow’s hair up into a ponytail and fastened it with an elastic.

“Yeah, I’ll take it down again when we come back here, I mean if we come back here. Don’t want to assume that you don’t have plans after the game. Because you have every right to have plans, and you don’t have to tell me, I can’t assume that we are going to spend time together.”

This bout of babbling was stopped by Tara’s lips on Willow’s, a slow kiss starting. Tara pulled her mouth away a few inches and said, “Breathe. It is the weekend. The weekends are our time. Of course, we’ll come back here, especially if Anya isn’t around. I look forward to it.”

Willow hopped up and said, “I’ve gotta go brush my teeth. I’ll bring the bagel with me to the game. I’m not hungry yet.” She walked to the door.

“Ok, I’ll be right here waiting on you,” commented Tara to the retreating Willow.
Late Fall had come quickly to New England, the sun was shining brightly; there was a crispness to the air. Willow was glad that Tara had reminded her to bring something to sit on, because the bleachers were cold. Willow and Tara sat several rows behind their team’s bench, a modest foot between them. They chose this area so that they could listen to the coach’s comments and give their friends both verbal and nonverbal encouragement. As Tara had stated, Augie was starting the game and the smile on her face was the brightest they had ever seen. Neither Sue nor April were starting, but they seemed content to be sitting on the bench next to each other avidly watching the game.

The two teams were well matched, and at half-time, the score was tied 1:1. Tara got up to talk to some people, while Willow stayed at her seat and ate her bagel. She was sitting on the bleachers, day-dreaming when her friend Faith came and sat next to her.

“Hey, what’s up with you and Mouse, Red?”

“Huh?” responded Willow. Faith was a person who rarely called anybody by their name. “Mouse?”

“I can’t help but notice that you’ve been going to all these games with the same mousy-brown-haired girl, isn’t she the girl I met at the bar about a month ago.”

Willow tried to will herself not to blush, nor to let on anything. Willow always felt like there were people listening to her conversations when she was in public, she believed that there were many people just looking to find something to gossip about. I am not paranoid, just careful she thought to herself.

“Where is Terry?”

“She’s over there.” Faith pointed to a spot at midfield, toward the top of the bleachers. She’s talking to Mo. I thought I’d come talk to you.”

“How is Mo doing? Is she getting over Betsy dumping her?”

“She seems ok. It’s Betsy’s loss. Mo is a nice person.”

“I never thought that Betsy was very nice, I thought that Mo could do better, but she thought the sun and the moon revolved around her.”

“Mo’s better off without her.”

“Any other gossip that I’ve missed?” asked Willow.

“Gossip, me gossip?” said Faith incredulously

“You know you love it, and without you I’d never know what is going on,” commented Willow.

“Well, you and Mouse are the latest gossip really. People are trying to figure out whether it’s true.”

“What’s true?” asked Willow innocently.

“That Mouse is really a member of the family, and whether you guys are dating or just friends.”

“Why do people care?”

“Some care because they are just plain curious, but most of us care because we want you to be happy.”

“Seriously?” commented Willow in a surprised manner.

“Yeah, Willow. You had crappy luck last year, we want this year to be better.” Faith paused, “So, what’s the news? Something going on with you and Mouse?”

“Her name is Tara.”

“Ok, Tara. Is something going on with you and Tara?”

As Faith asked this question, Tara sat back down on her blanket.

“You have a question?” Tara turned to Faith, “I met you at the bar, right? You’re Terry?”

“Actually, I’m Faith, my partner’s Terry.”

“Hi. Faith, good to see you again. So, you were asking Willow a question?” said Tara sweetly.

Faith looked uncomfortable. She glanced between Willow and Tara. The usually smooth-talking girl was tongue-tied, “Um…” She took a breath, “I was asking Red here, what was up between the two of you.”

“And you want to know, why?” said Tara continuing to have a saccharine tone in her voice.

Willow looked at Faith and was surprised by the effect that Tara was having on her. The girl was stammering and looking all around. Willow wasn’t sure, but it appeared that there were a few beads of sweat on her forehead.

“Um…she’s my friend, and I like to know what is going on with my friends,” Faith responded in a less that confident manner.

“Hum, not just because you like to have the dirt on everyone?” asked the brown-haired girl. “You ARE the one who said that you wouldn’t tell ANYONE that I was at the bar, right?”

“Yeah, about that, sorry, I accidently told Leslie. She always is interested if there were new people at the bar.”

“Who mentioned it to Willow, who eventually asked me.”

“Yeah…” Faith looked around in a manner that seemed to telegraph that she didn’t know what this girl was going to say.

“Well, I’m glad that you did. It helped clueless here believe that I was actually flirting with her.” Tara bumped Willow.

“Hey, I’m not clueless,” said Willow immediately, she thought for a moment and admitted, “Well, I was actually.”

“So, Tara, what’s up with you and Red?” asked Faith.

“You sure don’t like to use people’s names do you,” confronted Tara.

“Hey, I probably have only called Willow, Willow once or twice in the time that we’ve been friends. You don’t mind do you, Red.” Faith looked Willow in the eyes and smiled.

“I’ve kinda gotten used to it, but I’d rather be referred to by my name rather than my hair color,” responded Willow in an assertive tone.

“So noted, are one of you going to answer my question?”

“I’m not sure I want my dating status broadcasted all over the lesbian network of the school,” stated Tara.

Just then, the game started again. Faith stood up to return to her seat. Tara stood up next to her, whispered something in her ear, and Faith smiled and left.

“What did you say to her?” asked Willow when the people around them were particularly loud.

“I just told her that yes, we were dating, and she should be happy for me, as well as, you.”

“Ok. Why were you giving her so much trouble?”

“I don’t know, for some reason I thought it was fun. She reminds me a lot of my older sister. That’s the kind of relationship we have, always challenging each other in a fun way. Actually, my whole family really likes to banter.”

“Oh,” responded Willow. I should probably learn how to do that, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I can’t imagine being so confident that I could talk like that with people I don’t know. I am such a loser. Tara should be with someone who is more gregarious than me… Willow was pulled out of her negative spiral by the crowd erupting into a cacophony because their college had gotten a goal.

Their college won the game 3-2. Sue made the winning goal. As everyone was exiting the field, the announcer reminded the fans that the annual alumni game was scheduled for the next Saturday. As they were walking toward the dorms, Faith and Terry caught up with them and asked if Willow and Tara would like to go off campus to get some food. Willow and Tara looked at each other, both knowing that this would not be within the other’s budget.

“It’s not really in my budget Faith,” said Willow. “I don’t have a lot of discretionary income. “

Faith and Terry looked at each other, and Terry nodded her head.

“Oh, don’t worry about that…Re…” Willow could tell that Faith was trying to remember to call her by her name. “Willow. I can cover you guys. We thought we could go to Friendly’s.”

“Ok, if you’re sure that that you don’t mind paying, I’m game.” Willow turned to Tara and looked at her with a questioning gaze.

“Ok with me,” commented Tara. She smiled at the two older girls and followed them to the parking lot.

Willow was somewhat surprised to see that Faith was walking toward a shiny, new black hatchback. Tara and Willow got in the backseat and immediately joined hands.

“So, how long have you guys been dating, “asked Terry, looking back at the two girls.

“Um…a couple weeks?” answered Willow.

“We’ve not really decided when it really started, if I had to pick a day it would be the 20th when I invited her to come to the bar.” Tara looked at Willow who nodded her agreement. “I started flirting with her on the 12th, but I think she was oblivious.”

“I wasn’t oblivious. I just didn’t believe it.” Willow kissed Tara on the cheek.

“You guys are so cute together,” remarked Terry. Willow and Tara looked at each other and smiled.

“So how long have you two been together?” asked Tara.

“Um, we met my Sophomore year…so about two years,” said Faith.

“You’re both Seniors,” asked Tara.

“Actually, I graduated last year. I’m at Northeastern, getting my Masters in Global Studies. I majored in Political Science,” responded Terry.

“Oh, cool,” commented Tara. “That explains why I see Faith around campus, but not you.”

“Yep. We try to split our time, Faith comes to my apartment a lot of weekends, but I come down here, especially when there are home games. We both love soccer. I was on the team for two years, but I fucked up my knee, and couldn’t play Junior or Senior year,” explained Terry. “I think I remember seeing you at a soccer party last year.”

“Maybe. I went to a few of them. My friends April and Sue are on the team,” stated Tara.

“Yeah, they play well together.”

“Yeah, you can say that,” said Tara with a smirk.

“See, I told you they were a couple.” Terry turned to Faith.

“I never said they weren’t, I just said that they weren’t out,” asserted Faith, “You and I both know how much the coach hates the whole athlete/lesbian connection.” She used a falsetto voice, “There are no lesbians on my teams.”

“As I always say, tell that to the softball team,” commented Willow. They all laughed. The four women talked, Faith and Tara bantering until they got to the restaurant.

A blond-haired, middle aged woman greeted them at the door. It was clear to Willow that this woman was tired, and she pointed to an area of the restaurant with several booths. Faith picked the one farthest from the door. The other three joined her; each couple choosing one side.

Tara picked up the menu and began to look at it. “I’ve only been to a Friendly’s once. The closest one is in Liverpool, NY and that’s north of Syracuse. I remember that I liked their ice cream, I think I had a little upside down cone with M & M’s as eyes,” said Tara.

“Yeah, I used to love those,” commented Willow. “One good thing about when my mom was lecturing on the East Coast was that most of the states had Friendly’s. The only exception was when we were in Durham, NC when my mom was posted at Duke. The closest ones were either in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, or Chester, Virginia. No Friendly’s in the whole state.”

Tara continued leafing through the menu, she asked, “What’s your favorite thing here Willow?”

“Well, other than the ice cream, I really like the Big Beef on toast or the Tuna Melt. It’s even better if you have them add a slice of tomato.”

“Which, the hamburger or the tuna?” inquired Tara.

“Both, but I was talking about the tuna,” answered Willow.

“What do you guys like?” Tara asked Faith and Terry.

“Well, I like the fish and chips, but you can never go wrong with a hamburger from here. They are good,” stated Faith.

“I usually get the clam strip dinner or the lobster roll,” commented Terry pointing to the picture on the menu.

“I’m not much into seafood. I know that I am allergic to shrimp, and I haven’t ever tried clams or lobster. I am scared that I will have the same reaction,” explained Tara.

“That makes sense,” stated Terry.

“No clams or lobster for me then, is tuna ok?” inquired Willow.

“Definitely, with five kids, we ate a lot of tuna salad. Great way to spread two cans of tuna among all five of us; lots of celery and mayo.”

“You have four siblings! Older, younger?” asked Faith seeming very excited. “I’m the youngest of the older half of six.”

“I’m the middle. I have an older brother and an older sister, and a younger brother and a younger sister.”

“My mom had two sets of kids, one with my dad; my two older brothers, 24 and 26, and me, 22 and the other with my step-father, a sister who is 13, and twin brothers who are 9,” said Faith.

“My parents popped them out, 24, 22, 20, 19, 16 almost 17,” commented Tara.

“So, Terry, how many siblings do you have? I’ve never asked. I knew Faith had a big family, but I didn’t know it was that big,” asked Willow.

“I have an older brother who is 25, and a younger sister who is 18. I’m 23 if we are keeping track.”

Just then, the waitress came over and took their drink orders. After the waitress left, Faith asked, “Tara, do your parents know?”

“Know about what?” She seemed to be thinking for a minute. “Yeah, I told my mom this summer. I suspect she told my dad, but I’m not totally sure. Not that he would care. My whole life my parents have given the speech that they don’t care who we date, as long as, they treat us nicely. I am pretty sure my mom might think it’s a phase…I don’t know.”

“My mom was caught up with that “phase” idea for a while, but after I brought home Faith, I think it occurred to her that it was not going to pass. My parents love Faith, sometimes I think more than me,” commented Terry. “My dad once said that Faith was his favorite relative.”

“That’s low,” commented Tara.

“He thinks he’s funny. We just let him think that.”

At this moment, the waitress came to take their order. Tara ordered the tuna melt with added tomato, so Willow ordered the Big Beef on Toast. They agreed that they would share both. When the waitress left again, they resumed their conversation.

“I really like her dad, but he is a character,” commented Faith.

“Is it possible we could stop the talk of parents right now. I am losing my appetite, and as I said, Friendly’s is one of my favorite restaurants,” stated Willow in a tone that was a little harsh.

The three other girls looked at each other, it seemed each trying to say something appropriate to the comment.

“Sure,” they all said at the same time.

“Jinx” said Faith

“You owe me a coke,” said Tara.

“I’m pretty sure we already bought you a coke?” piped in Terry pointing to the glass in front of Tara.
Part 12

“I really like Faith and Terry,” commented Tara. The two of them were laying on Willow’s bed next to each other. They both stated that they were stuffed from their sandwiches and the ice cream sundae that they had shared afterwards.

“Yeah, they are. They kinda took me under their wing when I was floundering around last year. Faith is very blunt, but you always know where you stand with her. She and Terry really balance each other out.”

“My mom always says that one of the things that appealed to her when she was first dating my dad was that he balanced her out.” Tara paused, “Does it bother you that I talk about my parents so much.”

“Oh, no, no. It doesn’t bother me at all. I like hearing about your family.” Willow turned over onto her side, so she could make eye contact with Tara. “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t talk about them to me. The conversation just made me think about the fact that I was the sole only child of the group, and it is my parents that disowned me. Not that having a bunch of children gives you permission to disown one of them, but I imagine if you have siblings, maybe your siblings wouldn’t disown you, so you’d still have family. I always wanted siblings. I think I wanted to be a part of a big family. I feel like I have no family and that makes me feel sad, and then I feel mad. But you guys were just having a normal conversation. I didn’t needn’t mean to bring you down. I don’t want you to think there is anything you can’t talk to me about.”

“You didn’t bring us down. Your tone was just more assertive than usual. I think that is what surprised us all. “Tara moved to her side so that the two girls were looking at each other. “I want you to be able to tell me anything too. I can tell that the situation with your parents bothers you. I just don’t know what to say. I know that we’ve only been dating for 13 days, but I feel like it has been longer. I feel like I’ve always known you. When I am around you, I feel like life is right.”

“Maybe we were together in another life,” suggested Willow, as she lay back down on her back. She put her hands on her stomach.

“Perhaps. Do you believe in reincarnation or past lives,” asked Tara.

“I don’t know, the scientist in me believes that we have one life and that’s it. But there is this small piece of me, the non-logical piece that wonders. Why would people talk about it if it didn’t happen? You?”

“I’m not sure. I think that there is something unique in everyone, a spirit, and I think it is released when you die. Where it goes, I don’t know. I like the idea of an afterlife or reincarnation.” Tara took Willow’s hand in her own. "So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day? What do you have to get done this weekend? I’ve got to go to the pottery studio for a few hours, and I need to finish some of my drawings for my portfolio that is due at the end of the week. I have an Art History test on Wednesday, but I am pretty ready for it.”

“I have a Math test on Friday, and homework from Friday. I’ve got a quiz in Psychology on Tuesday, and a test in Physics of Chemistry on Monday, so I need to study for them. I have a COBALT program that is due Tuesday too. I’m going to have to be in the computer lab for at least 2 hours this weekend or on Monday. I’ve got to write up my most recent science lab for Wednesday.”

“So, it’s an easy weekend for you.” Tara laughed. “Can you do any of that stuff in the Pottery or drawing studio?”

“Sure. Everything but the COBALT program,” replied Willow.

“If we took off all today, do you think you’d be able to get everything you need to do done tomorrow?”

Willow thought for a moment, her face scrunched up and it was clear that she was counting off the time needed for all of her work, “Yeah, sure. Oh, I forgot, I have a floor plan due for my theater class on Wednesday.”

“A floor plan for what?”

“The set for this play called “The Last Snow.” I need to make a model of it too, but that’s not due until close to the end of the semester. Do any of the art rooms have those cool tables like architects use?”

“Yeah, there is a couple of them in the Art room where my Drawing class is.”

“So maybe we can go there, you can do your drawing, I can do my floor plan.”

“We could spend the morning in the Art rooms, you could do your computer work after lunch, then we could meet up again, have dinner, spend some time studying or something.” She paused, “Ok, we’ve got that all squared away. What should we do for the rest of today. It’s four o’clock now. We could go get some food ‘to go’ at the cafeteria to have for dinner later. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I am going to be hungry again until later tonight.”

“If then,” responded Willow. “That was more than I typically eat in a day. My brain is telling me to take a nap.”

“We could do that now, when we wake up go to the open cafeteria, get some stuff for dinner and then come back here or we could go to the campus movie. I think they are showing Rocky Horror tonight. That’s always fun.”

“I’ve never been,” confessed Willow.

“Seriously, how could you miss the quintessential college movie experience?” I went five times last year.”

“As I continue to confess, last year I spent most of my time studying, and reading. I wasn’t much into going to movies alone.” Willow yawned.

‘So, let’s cuddle up and take a nap, and then when we wake up, we can decide what we want to do for the rest of the night.”

“What if I decide that all I want to do is lay in this bed with you talking and doing other things.” Willow gave a beguiling grin.

“That could be arranged,” answered Tara with an equally cheeky tone.

“I am not a particularly gifted napper. One thing, I have a really hard time sleeping in my street clothes. Jeans and sleep do not work for me. So, if we’re going to take a nap, I need to change into some sleeping clothes. Do you want to change?

“Sure. Jeans are not particularly comfortable to sleep in.”

Willow climbed over Tara’s body, and exited the bed. She grabbed some clothes and went into the closet to change.

When she exited, she was wearing a pair of well-worn basketball shorts and a tee-shirt. She offered Tara a pair of shorts or sweats. Tara went into the closet to change. Tara had chosen the shorts, so for the first time Willow was privy to seeing Tara’s long legs. Willow tried not to stare, but she was finding that each new bit of Tara she got to see was better than the last.

As soon as they lay back down, it was clear that Willow was struggling to keep her eyes open. She laid under Tara’s arm with her head on her chest and fell asleep within minutes.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 16, 2019)
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:06 pm 
4. Extra Flamey
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Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:19 am
Posts: 185
Location: Wales
I really adore this story so far, especially how you've approached Tara's character, can't wait for more!

- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 16, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2019 12:00 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
I really adore this story so far, especially how you've approached Tara's character, can't wait for more!

Thanks leftindust. I am glad that you like my Tara. She's definitely different from cannon. Thanks for reading, and here is more.

Learning to Laugh


Part 13

Willow woke up to her girlfriend nudging her. “Willow, we need to wake up and get some dinner before the dining hall closes.”

“Do we have to, I’m all snuggly and warm?” whined Willow. She pulled the other girl closer to her.

“We can come back afterwards. I need to eat regularly Willow or I get grumpy,” explained Tara as she moved out of Willow’s reach.

“Don’t want a grumpy Tara. Willow will get up.” Willow jumped out of bed and went to her closet. She came out in a pair of sweats. Do you need some sweats sweetheart?” asked Willow walking toward her dresser. Willow grabbed her brush and began brushing her hair, so she didn’t have obvious bedhead.

“Naw, I think I am going to put my jeans back on, if that’s ok with you,” said Tara as she walked into the closet to put on the jeans that she had unceremoniously left on Willow’s closet floor.

“Whatever you want. Are we going to go to the movie?” Willow asked to the door of the closet.

“You said that you wanted to just hang out here,” said Tara as she exited the closet and picked up her overshirt that had been flung off the bed.

“I want to do whatever you want to do. You said that you really liked Rocky Horror. I’d like to experience it. What time does it start?” Willow found her socks and sneakers under the bed.

“I think it is showing at 10pm,” said Tara as she looked for one of her boots. She kneeled down and looked under the bed and found the missing boot.

“So that gives us time to get food, come back here, hang out some more, and then we can go to the movie.” Willow grabbed her ID out of her wallet.

“You sure?” Tara grabbed her ID out of the backpack.

“Yeah. I’ve never gone to a movie with a girlfriend. It’s a new experience.”

“I love getting to be part of all these new experiences with you,” commented Tara as they exited the room. They walked down the stairs and out of the dorm. As they were walking to the dining hall, they saw April and Sue walking from the other direction.

Willow waved, “Hey guys, that was a great game.” Tara and Willow sped up to meet the other two girls.

The two soccer players walked toward Willow and Tara. “Yeah, I was worried we’d have to go into overtime, but that pass was perfect, and I just saw that the upper corner was mine,” exclaimed Sue.

“It was a beautiful goal,” stated Tara.

“A beautiful goal by a beautiful girl,” said April to Sue. The two girls smiled at each other.

“Aww, you guys are still so cute,” exclaimed Tara.

April’s stomach growled loudly. “Well, the hall closes in 30 minutes, we better get going so we can get our food. I’m starving,”

“We went out with Faith and Terry for lunch, we’re just going to get some food to put in the fridge to have later tonight,“ shared Tara.

“You all went out with Faith? I hear she asks a lot of questions. I think she’s studying to be a journalist. She’s also known for being a gossip.

“She’s one of Willow’s good friends,” stated Tara.

“She is a gossip,” admitted Willow.

It wasn’t too bad. She did ask a lot of questions, but it was clear that she just wanted to make sure that I would treat her friend right.” Tara paused, “Hey, we’re going to Rocky Horror at 10pm. You want to come with?”

“Maybe, we’ll see what we’re up to. We both need to go to the library after dinner, but by 10, my brain is usually fried,” commented Sue.

“We’re taking a day off today. Tomorrow is all day studying. It feels kind of weird not to be doing any schoolwork. It feels like I am forgetting something,” confessed Willow.

“Sounds like Tara’s being a bad influence on you Willow,” teased Sue.

“No, no she’s not. No bad influence, good influence. Tara’s a good influence on me.”

“I was just teasing, I know that Tara’s not a bad influence on anyone,” responded Sue.

The four girls walked into the dining hall. Willow and Tara loaded their trays with foods that could keep well, peanut butter packets, crackers, granola bars, apples, and some juice and milk. April and Sue settled with more traditional fare from the hot bar and went to sit down to eat dinner. Tara and Willow put their food in the backpack that they had brought for the occasion and headed back to Willow’s dorm. There weren’t any people in the foyer, so rather than their splitting up, they both walked up the stairs and into Willow’s room.

Part 14

Tara took the food from the bag and put it in the refrigerator. Willow walked to her bed and began to straighten it up. She shed her socks, sneakers and sweatshirt and then went to her stereo and put on her Madness record. “What do you want to do?” asked Willow. “I put on music, but we don’t have to listen to it, we could watch TV or play cards. We could read?”

“Willow, what do you want to do.”

“I am happy just laying around, making out and talking.”

“Me too.”

Tara kicked off her boots, took off her coat and overshirt and sat down on the bed with her back against the wall. She encouraged Willow to sit between her legs with her back against her. Tara undid Willow’s ponytail and began touching Willow’s neck and arranging her curls on her shoulder and back. Tara nipped at the space behind Willow’s ear and began kissing and sucking on the back of Willow’s neck. Meanwhile, Tara’s hands had encircled Willow’s torso and were resting gently on Willow’s stomach right above the waistband of her shorts. Willow relaxed into Tara and enjoyed the attention being lavished upon herself.

“I could sit here forever. It feels so nice. Are you comfortable?” asked Willow.

“It’s ok. I like when I can see my girlfriend’s beautiful green eyes, but it’s nice to be able to nibble on your neck too. There is this place right behind your ear that tends to make your breath hitch.” Tara touched the reported spot and was greeted by a low ‘mmm’. “Are you going to fall asleep on me again?”

“No, no.” murmured Willow. “I am just enjoying what you are doing.” Willow moved her head to the side to capture the brown-haired girl’s lips. Tara continued the momentum so that Willow was laying on her back, with Tara beside her. While their tongues explored, Tara’s free hand, traced Willow’s collar bone and upper chest. As their kisses became more intense, Willow could feel Tara grip onto her shoulder with more force, pressing their mouths and chests together. Tara’s hand grabbed Willow’s and brought Willow’s arm above her head. Willow could feel her nipples pressing against her tee-shirt, as Tara touched the freckled, soft skin on the underside of her arm all the way down her side to the top of her shorts.

Tara removed her lips from Willow’s and huskily whispered in her ear, “You’re not wearing a bra.”

“I wasn’t sure you noticed,” said Willow in a devilish manner. “Bras are another thing I don’t like to wear when I sleep. I actually don’t like to wear them most of the time. I just do because I’ve gotten in the habit. It kinda makes me feel a little wanton to go out without one on, but I didn’t figure anyone would notice under my hoodie.”

“Yeah, not much to notice under that hooded sweatshirt. Is there a reason it’s so big?”

“I just like to wear them that way.”

“I think it is because you want to hide your body. Your, may I assert, beautiful body.” Tara looked at Willow in a manner that was similar to the look she’d given the hot fudge sundae that they’d shared earlier.

“You just looked at me with the same grin as you had when you saw our ice cream sundae.”

Tara began to giggle.

“What?” asked Willow.

“Let’s just say that it was a thought about something that we’re not going to be doing for a while.”

Willow pondered what her girlfriend could have been thinking, and when she was pretty sure she figured it out, she too began to giggle. “I have never had so many lascivious thoughts in my life, than I have had in the last few days.”

“Wanna share some?” said Tara in a seductive manner.

“That was one of the ideas in the b…” Willow realized that she was about to confess to her late night research.

“the b…” repeated Tara. “What b….?”

Willow put her arm over her eyes.

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“About what?”

“My lack of experience. Being naive.

“Neither of those words start with ‘b’ “

“Ok, you’re going to think that I am so weird.”

“Still, not a word that starts with ‘b’”

“Remember a few days ago when we were making out?”

“How can I forget.”

“You mentioned making me a list…”


“Well, see I have a habit. When I want to learn about something, or I have a question, I go to the library and I try to find out information.”


“So, yesterday after I was done studying, I went to the HQ section. I was wondering what your list may have on it. So, I found this book, and one part of the book was about foreplay, and telling about your sexual/sensual thoughts was listed as one of the things you could do.”

“So, you were looking at the Lesbian sex book ?”

“How do you know about it?”

“Willow, if you look at that book, hardly anyone has ever checked it out, but it is well worn. I bet every lesbian on campus has thumbed through that book at least once.”

“I thought you didn’t know about the HQ section?”

“I never said I didn’t know about the section; I just didn’t know the call letters. Think about it. The library wouldn’t have all those books if somebody didn’t think that there would be an interest. It’s not like anyone will ever write a paper and use THAT book as reference.”

“I just feel so stupid having to look at a book.”

“How else are you supposed to learn.”

“I feel like I’m just supposed to know. Like it’s supposed to come naturally.”

“Well, what did you come up with? Learn anything new?”

“Well, I learned the fancy name for rubbing clothed parts against each other, frottage or dry humping, which I have to say are both weird words/phrases. I must say that ‘humping’ is a word that I don’t particularly like, even though it is onomatopoeia.”

“Huh? I know that I have heard that word before, but what is it?”

“Onomatopoeia, when a word looks how it sounds, or sounds like what it is.”

“Ah, English 101, Literary devices. I always think of the word slurped.”

“Only Willow Rosenberg would talk about literary devices when she’s supposed to be making out with her girlfriend.”

“Hey, I find your brain just as sexy as your body. You know that the brain is the biggest sex organ. However, I think that we’ve got to help your brain stay in the mammalian brain sometimes.”

“You’ve been able to do that a couple of times already.”

“Good. Anything else from the book interest you?”

“Um, most of it interested me. There were a few things that I don’t know if I’ll ever be willing to try or do, but most of it looked very interesting. One dweeb thing that I read about was the idea of reading or sharing erotica.”

“I have to admit, that would probably not have been on my list, but it is definitely a foreplay kinda activity. Do you have any erotica?”

“What would you think about me if I told you I did.”

“That you are human.”

“What if I said I didn’t?”

“Then I’d say I could bring mine over, or next time we go to Glad Day, we should pick some out.”

“You have some?”

“Yeah, April and Sue thought it would be funny to give me a book of it for my “coming out”. So, curious minds want to know, do you have any?”

“I may have a book or two.”

“We can read it to each other sometime, but I have to admit, it’s not something I want to do right now, if that is ok with you. If I remember correctly this conversation started with my noticing your lack of a brassiere, and the fact that you were either cold or turned on.”

“Turned on, definitely turned on.” Willow captured Tara’s lips and placed Tara’s hand onto her breast. Willow could feel her body immediately respond to Tara’s touch. Her nipples puckering and pushing against the fabric of her tee-shirt again.

Tara took one of the nubs between her pointer finger and thumb and made circular motions. Willow closed her eyes and focused on the sensations occurring throughout her body. She could feel Tara’s tongue in her mouth, and then Tara began slowly kissing Willow’s face, and neck, she sucked at Willow’s pulse point and then pushed aside the neck of Willow’s tee-shirt to kiss her accentuated collarbone and throat. Meanwhile, Tara’s fingers continued to fondle the breast and nipple that Willow had so unceremoniously put Tara’s hand upon. Tara worked her way back up Willow’s neck and whispered in her ear, “Can I touch you under your shirt?”

Willow gasped out a clear “yes”, and Tara’s hand snaked under the tee-shirt and began touching the skin of Willow’s breast. Their mouths met once again. Tara began sucking and rubbing Willow’s lower lip with her tongue. Willow had a momentary thought about what the effect of this attention may ultimately have on her lip, but it felt so good she didn’t really care. Tara had thrown one of her legs over Willow’s and she felt the pressure of this appendage on her center. There were so many sensations occurring simultaneously that Willow’s conscious brain did not know what to focus on. One quick moment of lucidity reminded her that her hands were not engaged, and she grasped for the nearest part of her girlfriend to touch. She found her hands on Tara’s jean clad butt. This touch caused Tara to press herself into Willow’s center with renewed vigor. Tara had somehow pushed her sock off her foot, and Willow could feel Tara’s bare foot moving up and down her leg. Willow moved her hands off Tara’s butt and pulled Tara’s tee-shirt out of her jeans and began touching the Tara’s warm back.

Willow noticed that when she scratched Tara’s back, she was rewarded with more pressure and a throaty groan. Willow opened her eyes and saw Tara’s half lidded eyes, her pupils so dilated that the sapphire blue was only a small ring. Willow smiled and was rewarded with a laugh and an equally broad smile. Once again, their mouths met, but the kisses were less ravenous. It appeared that they both found themselves in need of a period of calm. Willow took this opportunity to flip positions so that Tara was on her back and Willow was on top. Willow placed her leg over Tara’s and pulled at Tara’s tee-shirt so that it was untucked in front, as well as, the back. This allowed her to touch Tara’s warm stomach and begin a leisurely exploration up to Tara’s bra. One of Tara’s arms was pinned beneath their bodies. Willow brought her mouth to Tara’s ear and murmured into it, “just relax, let me discover.” She felt Tara’s body and arms relax. Tara closed her eyes and allowed Willow to explore.

Willow touched Tara’s breast over her bra and felt her nubs straining against the soft fabric. Willow wanted to feel the skin, so she pushed Tara’s bra up above her breasts and began fondling the very soft to the puckered skin. Willow was overcome with the need to take one of Tara’s breasts into her mouth. She began kissing Tara’s stomach, making a line to the space between her breasts. Willow figured that she was telegraphing her intentions, and if Tara was not willing, there was ample opportunity to stop her. Tara was not doing so. Willow worked herself up to one of the glorious mounds of flesh. She took the puckered nipple into her mouth and began teasing the pearl with her tongue. Willow was amazed at the myriad of textures that one breast had. The smoothness of the breast, the nubs of the areola and the harness of the nipple. Tara arched her back, allowing, encouraging Willow to take as much of her breast as possible into her mouth. Willow found the twin pearl and moved her mouth to it. Tara was making sounds of happiness and Willow closed her eyes and focused on the sensations occurring in her mouth. She lost track of time but was roused by Tara moving Willow’s head and pulling it up to her own. Their tongues entwined once again.

Neither were aware of how much time had passed, but they were roused by the sound of people in the hallway. Willow was not sure if she heard Anya’s voice, but she felt that she needed to bring her senses back to the present. She rolled off Tara, and lay beside her, listening to the people. She looked for her alarm clock but remembered that it had been unplugged. Willow had no idea what time it was.

“I need to find out what time it is?” said Willow.

“Why?” croaked Tara.

“We’re supposed to go to a movie.”

“Who really cares, I’m having a good time.”

“Me too, I just need to know.”


Willow got up, went to her desk drawer and removed her watch. “It’s 9:30. Do you want to go to the movie. What do you want to do?”

“That, my dear is a loaded question. However, what I want to do, and what we’ve agreed to do, and what we should do, have different answers. Added to this, is the question of where is Anya and when will she be coming home?”

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Tara sat bolt upright, grabbing her bra and pulling it back over her breasts. She pulled her shirt down, but did not tuck it in. Willow was still standing at her desk, looking at the watch. She turned the desk light on to make it less obvious that the two of them had been making out in the dark, but their light sensitive reaction and their wide eyed looks made Anya quite aware of what had been going on when she entered the room.

“Hey girls. Is this going to become the norm? Don’t answer that question. I don’t want to know. You guys are going through the period of limerence and it is so cute. Sorry for interrupting, but it’s been a long day and I am tired.”

“No problem, we were just getting ready to go to the movies anyway. I’ll try to be really quiet when I come home afterwards.”

“You know I sleep like the dead. What movie are you going to?”

Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

“That’s a great movie. I’ve seen it like 10 times. Maybe next time I’ll go with you.”

“That would be cool,” commented Tara. She began looking around the bed for her sock. Once she found it, she started to put on her boots. Willow grabbed her sweatpants from the floor, put them on, and then joined Tara on the bed and began putting on her socks and shoes. Once they were both shod. Willow combed her hair and put it in a ponytail. She handed Tara the brush. Then, they grabbed their jackets and exited the room, neither caring who saw them.
“Let’s Do the Time Warp Again” chanted Willow as she was attempting the dance in the pottery studio with Tara babysitting the kiln. Willow knew that she could not sing well, but she found that singing along to the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack was fun. Willow was glad that she had agreed to go to the movie with Tara the weekend before. The movie was ridiculously absurd and entertaining. On top of this, Willow was able to hold hands with Tara in public with nobody noticing. April and Sue had joined them, and the four women went to get late night pizza afterward. It felt to Willow like what college life was supposed to be. Willow was reminded that she was a college student the next day when she had to do her entire weekend’s schoolwork in one day. However, getting to be with Tara made it worth it. They had spent Sunday morning in the art building, and Tara had helped her create the required perspective for her theater assignment. Willow was good at a lot of things, but art had never been her strengths. However, Tara was able to explain it in a way that Willow was able to use her knowledge of geometry and she thought she could now do it on her own.

“What do you think your friends would think if they could see you now?” asked Tara, who was sitting at a desk in the corner of the studio.

“I don’t think they would believe it. As you know, I don’t usually dance. But this dance is easier, it tells you what to do.”

“That would be true. Are you all done with your homework?” asked Tara.

“Well, I did my math homework. I don’t have Physics of Chemistry until Monday, and I am ahead in Psychology. I should probably review my notes so I am prepared, but other than that. Today is a much better day than Sunday was. How much more do you have?”

“I have a few more pages of Sociology to read, but then I’ll be done and we can snuggle into our sleeping bags until 2am when I have to check the kiln temperature.”

“Did you get a late night shift on purpose?”

“What do you think. It was an opportunity for us to be alone. Not that we’re going to do anything wild in the Pottery studio, but at least we can fall asleep together again.”

“Yeah, I’ve been dropping hints to Anya about her weekend plans, but she’s not sure yet. She said that we’d have the room until ourselves Friday until at least midnight.”

“I hate that I have that stupid late Friday library shift! However, that makes getting through tomorrow workable. You are mine from 1-6pm on Friday.” Tara looked at Willow in a sultry manner.

“Looking forward to it.” Willow smiled, She REALLY likes me.

“Speaking of the weekend, what’s on tap for you this weekend? Is it going to be as busy as the last one?”

“Well, I’ve got a dorm shift Friday night, and I’m supposed to be working in the theater in the afternoon and then do the lightboard for the dance performance at 7. I should be done by ten so we can at least see each other to say goodnight. I can probably do a lot of my homework Friday night.”

“Do you want to go the alumni versus team soccer game Saturday morning?”

“I guess. Are our friends playing?”

“I suspect so.”

“Do you know any alumni that are going to be there?” Willow swallowed Like Buffy?

“Nope, I just want to watch the team. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. It’s not that important to me.”

“No, we should go. Support the alumni and the team. Gives us a chance to be outdoors too. Now if it is raining, I may change my mind. I like soccer too, but not enough to sit in the cold rain.”

“That makes sense. Ok, I’ve got to finish this reading so we can get our cuddling done.”

Willow sat watching her girlfriend reading her textbook. She noted that it took a long time for her girlfriend to read one page. “Tara?”

Tara lifted her head, a slightly annoyed look on her face. “What?”

“I didn’t mean to annoy you. It’s nothing.” Willow walked toward the space with the air mattress.

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I just hate reading.”

“That’s what I was going to ask. Can you learn by listening? I could read the text to you and you could take notes, or just listen.”

“You’d do that for me.”

“Hey, I’d probably do most anything for you, but reading. Nerd here, I love reading.”

“That might be helpful. I’m just not getting the gist of this lesson.”

Willow went and sat next to Tara at the table and took the book into her hand. She began to read, and Tara listened, asking her to repeat some of the materials, by the time they were done, Tara felt that not only did she understand the materials, she could actually talk about them.

“I might even be able to participate in the discussion today, Thanks sweetie.” Tara placed a quick peck on Willow’s cheek. “So now, we can get our cuddling on.”

Tara and Willow had found a corned in the studio that could not be directly seen by looking in the window. The only way to see them, a person would have to come into the room, and they put a metal bucket in front of the door.

“Does your teacher know that I’m here with you?”

“I don’t think she would care. She said that the people with the overnight shifts could bring a friend if they wanted. I’m pretty sure that there is at least one other couple that signed up together. I don’t have the best gaydar, but I’m pretty sure there are others in my class.”

“You should share the bucket trick with them.”

Tara and Willow went to the nearby bathroom, did their nighttime hygiene, and returned back to the studio, making sure to put the bucket in front of the door.
They took one of the sleeping bags and put it on the mattress and used the second as a cover. Tara lay on her back and Willow snuggled into the notch of Tara’s shoulder.

“Is there something kinda weird about this?” asked Willow.

“Yeah, sort of. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“Oh, I want to stay here. Any opportunity available to get to sleep with you, I am going to take. I just never thought that I’d be sleeping in the arts room.” She paused, “Now if you told me that I was going to sleep in the theater, I’d believe it. Actually, I once took a nap in the props room when we had a 30 minute break during production week.”

“Are you ok with making out some?”

“Uh huh.”

Tara shifted herself and brought her lips to Willow’s. Tara’s tongue requested entry which was granted by Willow. They kissed, taking turns of who was the seeker and who was sought. Willow reached under Tara’s shirt and took her breast in her hand. She squeezed the orb and used her fingers to tease the taught piece of flesh at its apex. Tara was doing the same to Willow and they mirrored each other’s movements. They made out for a while until Tara muttered to Willow, “There are no cold showers here, so we should probably stop.”

“Aww…but you’re probably right.” Willow rolled off. The two gave each other a quick kiss goodnight and settled themselves into their sleeping bags.

“Good night Sweetie, sleep tight, I l.. good night,” whispered Tara.

“Good night,” whispered Willow back.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Sun Jul 28, 2019 11:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 16, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 21, 2019 11:57 pm 
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 434
:whip DIBS!
I'm glad I checked on your story to finally comment on the chapter you posted on July 16th, otherwise I would have missed the last two updates. You should change the date of the latest update in the title of your story.

I loved Willows research, so her. Good that Tara got Willow to tell her about that and convinced her that it's nothing to be ashamed about.

Yay for Tara "taming" Faith a little and confírming they are a couple. That your Tara comes from a stable family with a bunch of siblings is probably the main reason for her strong, confident character.
I really hope Tara will invite Willow to spend the christmas vacation with her and her family and that Willow will accept the invitation.

I should probably learn how to do that, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I can’t imagine being so confident that I could talk like that with people I don’t know. I am such a loser. Tara should be with someone who is more gregarious than me…

You had me worried here for a second…I'm glad that Willow quickly overcame that bout of depression.

Yay for them enjoying "second base" and their first movie date. Willow trying to do the time-warp in the art room later made me smile, I could really picture that in my head.

“Good night Sweetie, sleep tight, I l.. good night,” whispered Tara.

Aww, there it almost was, the first "I love you"! :flower I'm wondering if Willow caught that… I'm looking forward to them saying it out loud soon.

I'm wondering if they'll meet Buffy at the next game - if so I hope it won't cause Willow to fall into another downward spiral...

Can we have another peek into Taras diary in the next chapter?

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 21, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 5:28 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Can we have another peek into Tara's diary in the next chapter?

Will's Redemption Ask and ye shall receive. You are so good at knowing what is going to happen next. I may have to change the story to be less predictable. I liked the idea of Willow doing the Time Warp too. I love when my commenters get some of the Easter Eggs I put in my stories. It makes me feel all happy. :banana :kgeek Sorry about forgetting to update the heading. I will try to do better from now on. Thanks for commenting. It makes me want to post. I had forgotten how much I like to write. I am having a blast writing this story.

Interlude 3
11/3/85 1:00 AM
Dear Tara, Wow that was quite a day. Willow and I went to the soccer game and then out with two of her friends. They took us out to lunch. Willow got upset after we were all talking about our families. I asked her if she gets upset when I talk about my family and she said she doesn’t. I hope she was telling the truth. She admitted to me that she’s been “researching” foreplay. She certainly seemed to be trying things out. We are definitely moving forward on the making out front. It made her really embarrassed to admit to me that she’d been looking in books. She is so cute. I think that I am falling in love with her. I know that it is too early, we’ve only known each other a short period of time. But I feel so happy when I am with her. It’s not just my hormones. She makes me feel so safe and content. It’s like all is right with the world when I am with her. I feel like I could talk to her about everything and anything, and I want to talk to her about everything and anything. If I could I would spend every waking and sleeping (we took a nap together, I got to see her legs!!) hour with her, but I know we shouldn’t. We’ve got to maintain our normal schedules. I was glad that she was willing to take a day off from studying. We’ve got to make up for it today, but I think that we still will be able to have some time to “hang out” as we call it. I better go to sleep so that I’ll be rested when we meet at the studio later on today. Oh, and on top of all this stuff. I got to introduce her to Rocky Horror. She kept trying to do the time warp when we were walking home. My dorm room doesn’t really feel like home, being with her feels like home. That is so cliché, but real.

11/3/85 9:30pm
Hey Tara, I think you got to experience a full day in Willow’s life. We met in the Art department at 10, and I finished my Drawing portfolio while she made her floor plan. She was really confused about showing perspective and I was able to help her. At least there is one thing that I might have a better understanding of than she does. She is so smart and is so dedicated to studying. She has so much self-control. I think that I am the most prepared for my Art History test than I ever have been. Willow was focused on prepping for her Chemistry test and her Psychology quiz that I just kept studying. We got to do a little bit of ‘hanging out’. She’s now at the Computer lab doing her assignment. Tomorrow’s Monday, so I’ll see her when I bring her a bagel after Geometry.

11/4/85 10:00PM
Willow hadn’t been able to finish her computer program last night, so she had to spend most of tonight in the Computer lab. We were hoping that we could get together after she was done, but she still hasn’t called, so I guess it was harder than she thought. I don’t like days that don’t include Willow time. I got to spend some time with my roommate, and that was good. What did I used to do all the time before I met Willow. I feel like I have so much down time. We are planning to have lunch after our classes tomorrow. Tuesdays and Thursdays are better Willow-Tara days.

11/5/85 11:00
Hey Tara, It’s you again. I think that I like the weekends the best. Willow is so busy during the week. I was sure that she had gotten all of her work done on Sunday, but she admitted that she’d not gotten to her Physical Chem lab report. After dinner I went and finished my pitchers for the kiln closing, while she worked on her lab. We thought that we’d be able to spend some time, but as usual I guess things took longer than she planned. I probably won’t see Willow again until we meet at the pottery studio at 8. I signed up for the night kiln shift, so we’d get to go to sleep together.

11/7/85 10pm
Hey Tara, staying in the pottery studio was fun. It sort of felt like camping. Willow helped me with my Sociology reading and it went a lot faster than it usually does. It was more fun too. Willow is a really good teacher. She should think about doing that as a job. Not as lucrative as computer programming probably, but she is a natural. I almost told her that I loved her when we said goodnight. I don’t want the first time I say that to be a nighttime throwaway. I wonder if she feels the same way? We’ve really only known each other a short period of time, but I sort of believe in love at first sight, so…this is love at 2 weeks. What am I kidding, I fell in love with her probably within the first few days. I hope nothing gets in the way of our relationship. Tomorrow is Friday and we’ve got a whole five hours of Willow/Tara time.

11/8/85 11:30
Dear Tara, work was ok today. Not as fun as when you know that Willow’s somewhere in the same building and is waiting for you. I know it makes sense for us both to get sleep if we are working until 11, but I missed seeing her at the end of the shift. I almost walked down to her dorm, but I didn’t want to seem pathetic. I want to spend every waking moment with Willow. I’ve got it really bad. We sort of had the conversation about experience. She seems to be consciously not asking about my experiences with girls. Does she know about me and Buffy? The only people that know what happened are me, Buffy, April and Sue. I don’t think it ever made the lesbian gossip cycle. If it had, I am sure that there would have been some confrontation between Erica and me. I wonder if Buffy is going to be at the game, and if so, what she’s going to say to me. Awkward. I’ve given off hints that there was something between Buffy and me to Willow, but I really don’t want to have to talk about it. This is not a kink I want in our relationship.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 22, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 11:00 pm 
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 434
:whip Dibs again!

I may have to change the story to be less predictable.

I like the story the way it is!

I think that I am falling in love with her.

Yay, so is Willow with you!

My dorm room doesn’t really feel like home, being with her feels like home.

Aww! :flower

I almost told her that I loved her when we said goodnight. I don’t want the first time I say that to be a nighttime throwaway.

I guessed Tara stopped herself because she feared she might scare Willow with a love declaration at this early stage of their relationship, but this explanation also sounds good.

I'm really curious what the encounter with Buffy will bring. If she still is in a relationship with this Erica she probably won't want to put attention to the "affair" (?) she had with Tara. If she is single, who knows how she will act (considering that we don't know anything about her character yet). Guess we just have to wait and see...

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 22, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:27 pm 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:18 am
Posts: 15
Outing myself as a lurker,but I've been loving this story. And it's great seeing people still posting. I feel like buffy is gonna bring enough drama just by showing up.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 22, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:02 am 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Dragon: Thank you so much for delurking. It makes my day. I love getting feedback, to get some from a lurker is especially sweet. I still greatly appreciate you Northerlass, Will's Redemption, Laraugh, ,CopperandGold, mmmh-Hot-Sauce, Islev18, Azirahael, Finey-McFine, and leftindust I greatly appreciate every bit of feedback I receive.

I feel like Buffy is gonna bring enough drama just by showing up.

True that. It's going to put a little angst into my story. But it will be brief.

Will's Redemption: Sorry, can't let the Buffy thing just go into the nether. She's going to throw a moderate sized monkey wrench into Willow and Tara's relationship. We will find out where Willow is on the ability to use the love word, soon.

Learning to Laugh
This part begins NC17 and then becomes PG.
Disclaimer:Josh owns the characters, I imagine different lives for them. Amber is herself, and as I am realizing that JustSkipIt has a large part in the creation of my characters. Her stories are so real to me, especially Season 3 Y'all and Paths Diverged/Divulged. that they get messed up with Cannon in my head. I am re-reading these stories and can't hold a candle to them, but the Tara in my mind is a combo of Cannon Tara, Amber Benson, and JustSkipIt's Tara's.

Thank Dragon and Will's Redemption for this post. I've got a lot more written, I just need feedback to post.

Part 15
Willow found Tara sitting in front of the theater shop door. Willow looked at her the brown-haired girl. She was wearing the peasant blouse that she’d worn one of the first time they talked. This top made her eyes pop and accentuated her cleavage. She was wearing a pair of form-fitting blue jeans, that showed her fit, womanly figure. On her feet were a pair boots. Willow found herself salivating at the look of her girlfriend.

“Hey you, I am glad you got out on time.” said Tara smiling broadly at her. “Let’s get some lunch and then…”

“Yes, finally time for then….” Willow put her backpack on her shoulder and waited for Tara to get off the bench where she’d been sitting. “Maybe we could skip the lunch?” She looked at the slightly taller brown-haired girl, a negative look crossing her face. “Oh, no…I remember, no food equals grumpy Tara. I want a happy Tara, not a grumpy one.”

They began walking down the staircase of the building. As they walked, Tara said “Yeah, I need to eat. But we can get stuff quickly and then to chez Willow.” They exited the building. The air was crisp, and clear. The sun was shining brightly, but the temperature was in the only in the high 40’s. Willow shuddered and put her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

“You cold, sweetie?” asked Tara, who was wearing a hooded sweatshirt, and had taken a pair of gloves out of the front pouch.

“I’m ok. I just need to remember that there is a big difference between the temperature of the theater and shop and the outside. I keep dressing for work and forgetting that I’ll be cold afterwards.”

“Well I’ll warm you up soon,” whispered Tara into Willow’s ear as they walked into the cafeteria.

“I’m looking forward to it,” responded Willow in a slightly louder voice than Tara had used.

The two girls grabbed sandwiches, chips, cookies and drinks from the cafeteria. They stood in the long line to pay. They both put the food in their backpacks and exited the cafeteria. As they were exiting, they saw Sue.

“Hey, you want to stay and eat with me?” asked Sue.

“Sorry, we’ve got plans. We’ll see you tomorrow at the game though.”

Sue looked at the two girls who seemed eager to get going and stated, “Yeah, I can imagine the plans that you two have. What is it, a few hours until Tara has to go to work?” She winked and entered the cafeteria.

The two began walking faster toward the dorm. They skipped the pretense that they were not together and walked into the dorm and up the stairs. As soon as they entered Willow’s room. Willow grabbed Tara and pushed her against the back of the door as she closed it and made sure that the lock was engaged. She brought her mouth to Tara’s and eagerly requested entry. Tara opened her mouth a small amount and placed her tongue between her lips. Willow sucked in the teasing muscle and Tara’s mouth opened more. The two girls explored each other’s mouths with their tongues, while their arms reached for available skin on the other. Willow put her hands in Tara’s hair and pulled their mouths closer together. She placed her leg between Tara’s and put pressure on the apex. Tara did the same and the two gently rocked against each other. After a few minutes, Tara whispered into Willow’s ear, “Can we go to the bed? My knees are getting weak and I’m getting hot.”

Willow snickered at the double entendre and released the brown-haired girl. She took her hand and they walked to the bed. Willow divested Tara of her sweatshirt and gloves, and herself of her coat. She then eased Tara down onto the bed. She unlaced Tara’s boots, while she pushed her own sneakers off. Their mouths met again, Tara pulled Willow on top of her and Willow returned to her previous position now horizontal rather than vertical. Willow felt Tara’s hands pulling at her shirt and moved her body so that Tara could gain access to her skin. The feel of Tara’s nails on her back made Willow groan and she pressed herself into Tara’s leg to get friction between her own legs. Willow slinked her hand under Tara’s peasant blouse and palmed the softness of Tara’s chest making sure to tease the tender nub beneath Tara’s bra. Willow felt Tara’s hands undoing the clasp of her own bra and luxuriated in the feel of Tara’s hands exploring her sides and chests.

“You owe me,” muttered Tara into Willow’s ear as she took the earlobe into her mouth. Tara encircled the dangling flesh with her tongue and nipped and sucked on it. “I want to be doing this to your breasts,” clarified Tara. Tara’s words and actions sent shocks of electric pleasure throughout Willow’s body. She put all her weight onto one arm and pulled her bra out of her tee-shirt with the other. Willow pushed up her tee-shirt and placed the requested body part on Tara’s lips. If Willow had thought that the shocks of pleasure had been intense when Tara was sucking her earlobe, it was quadrupled when Tara took Willow’s breast into her mouth. She unconsciously ground herself harder into Tara’s leg. Tara flipped them over and moved herself so that she could be sucking one breast while palming the other. Willow’s hands emulated the ministrations of Tara and rode the waves of sensations. Hands and mouths and legs were all moving together. After a few minutes, Tara rose up and divested herself of her bra as well, throwing it beside the one that Willow had tossed. Tara teased Willow with her breasts, putting them just out of Willow’s range and enjoying Willow rising to attempt to capture them by bucking up. When Willow was finally able to capture the object of her attempt, she lapped the trio of textures, and sucked Tara’s nipple until she began to writhe. As Tara ground herself into Willow’s jean clad center, Willow wondered to herself whether her arousal was soaking through the denim. This thought brought her frontal lobe back on-line and she flopped her body beside Tara’s, communicating the need to slow down. Blue eyes met green and they both smiled at each other. The two women lay there beside each other, still panting from the exertion.

“Well, I guess we had some pent up frustration, eh?” commented Willow. She turned to her side and started absentmindedly stroking Tara’s stomach.

“We see each other periodically during the week, but most of the time we are in public and/or you/we are in scholar mode,” replied Tara.

“Well, thank the Goddess for the weekends,” exclaimed Willow. She put her head on top of Tara’s stomach.

“Ahwoman,” replied Tara, playing with Willow’s hair; twirling it around her stomach.

Willow loved laying on and being near Tara’s skin. The girl had a scent that made Willow both feel comfortable and aroused. As she lay on Tara’s stomach, she could smell a variation of this scent, one slightly muskier and definitely more arousing. Willow knew about pheromones and was sure that this is what was causing some of the reactions that she was experiencing. Without thinking, Willow queried “Tell me again why I think we should wait?” Willow sat up, surprised that her thoughts had become words and turned to Tara. “no, that’s not fair for me to ask. I know why I want to wait. But my body and brain are in a bit of a disagreement. Right now, the brain is winning, but too many more of those make-out sessions…”

“I see some more cold showers in out future. But hey, just think of how much we are enjoying the build-up. If we just jumped to having sex, we’d probably not be doing all this teasing.” Tara pulled Willow back down onto her stomach. “We’d probably not appreciate each new milestone. Friday, November 8th, bras are removed,” said Tara in a sportscaster like voice.

“Do we only do one milestone a day? What are the rules?” asked Willow in her best student voice.

“I don’t think we have rules, other than the obvious that we’re not going all the way until we consciously, not under the influence of hormones, decide to do so. I guess we are just taking it one day, one session at a time,” answered Tara.

“Yes. I agree. No rules, decisions only when not all hot and bothered. However, that may be hard, because whenever I see you or am around you, I get somewhat hot and bothered.”

“That is just baseline hot & bothered. Most likely, that will be the norm and will be the level that such decisions are made.”



“Am I making too big a deal out of this?”

Tara bit her lip, “um, no…I don’t’ think so. You only lose your virginity once. You want it to be something you have no regrets about.”

“Was yours?”

“Was mine what?”

“Was your first time special?”

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“Willow, I didn’t have sex per se with any of my boyfriends. Remember when we were talking about 2nd and 3rd base being sex for lesbians.”


“Well, let’s just say that I’ve been to third base with a guy, but honestly, this is not something I want to be remembering or thinking about when I am in bed with you. For lesbian sex, I’m as much of a novice as you. I’ve had things done to me, but I’ve never done them to anyone.”

“So, we are sort of going to be each other’s firsts?”

Willow had made sure her alarm clock was plugged in before she went to bed. She wanted to make sure that she was awake and on time for breakfast with Tara. They’d decided that they both should just go to bed after their respective shifts so that they could get enough sleep. Willow walked to the dining hall. She looked around the tables and saw that Tara was sitting at a table with Sue and April and girl that Willow didn’t recognize. Everyone other than Tara were wearing soccer uniforms.

Willow went through the line, getting her usual bagel, but adding some yoghurt and granola to her tray. She walked to the table and placed her tray down. “Hey, how are you all doing?” asked Willow.

“Good. You?” asked Sue.

“I’m good. I got a good night sleep, it is a beautiful day, and I’m with my friends.” She looked Tara in the eyes and smiled.

Willow sat down and focused on putting the cream cheese on her bagel. She could tell that the three soccer players were getting ready to leave. They were talking about what alumni were going to be at the game. Tara reached under the table and squeezed Willow’s hand in a message of good morning.

“I heard that there are going to be people from the class of 81, 82, 83, and 84, as well as, a few from earlier years,” said the unidentified girl.

“Anyone we know from last year?” asked Sue.

“Well, I heard that Alice, Alysia, and Karen are playing, and of course Buffy came, she’s going to be their goalie.”

Willow saw Tara, Sue and April look at each other. The soccer players picked up their trays and started walking toward the dish area. A sense of doom hit Willow’s stomach like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, the food that Willow had chosen didn’t look as appetizing. She looked to Tara for a reaction and her girlfriend was looking down at her food. The feeling of doom doubled in Willow’s stomach. Willow started wrapping up her bagel in a napkin. She wracked her brain to figure out a believable reason to leave. All her thoughts and sensations were shouting at her to flee. She felt Tara’s hand on her arm. “Please don’t go” begged Tara. The tone of her plea was believable, but when she made eye contact with Tara, there wasn’t the usual glint. she looks upset.

Willow took several slow, deep breaths and looked at her napkin wrapped bagel and untouched yoghurt and granola. You are probably imagining things. Paranoid much Rosenberg. No matter how much she admonished herself, she felt a sense of foreboding. Ask something mundane “How was work yesterday?” asked Willow to Tara.

“It was fine. I worked the desk as usual and there were a lot of people coming in and out. You can tell that it’s the second half of the semester. Lots of people getting books for papers. The time went fast, that was good.” Tara said in an overly cheery manner.

“Fast is good. My dorm shift dragged, but I got a bunch of my work done, so that’s good.” Willow unwrapped the bagel and took a bite. The bagel tasted like paste. Willow willed herself to swallow the food. She took a big gulp of milk and was happy that she had not expelled the bagel piece. Willow wrapped up the remaining bagel into the napkin and put it inside the pouch of her hooded sweatshirt. Tara was looking at her and clearly upset that Willow was choosing to carry her breakfast rather than eat it.

“Homework done is good. When do you have to work at the theater?”

“I have to be there at 3. The game is at noon, right?” Willow picked up her tray and began walking to the cart where people placed their dirty trays.

After they had both put their trays in the cart, Tara commented, “Yeah. What do you want to do until then?”

“I don’t know. Anya was still asleep when I left, so I don’t think my room’s an option,” replied Willow


Willow could see the look of disappointment on Tara’s face. Ok Rosenberg, you know what she was hoping to do, that’s a good sign. Willow admonished herself. “I know. We could go to the student union or go watch the soccer team warming up. The Student Union is a little more obvious. Has your roommate said anything? Has anyone mentioned you hanging around with me?”

“Not that I know of, I’m going to tell my roommate soon. I feel like I have this big, positive secret. I want to be able to talk to her about it.”

“That’s good.”

“We could go to the bookstore and just look around. I know they are open so that the various sports alumni can buy merchandise if they want.”

“That would be cool.”

The two walked across the campus and into the large campus bookstore. As suspected, there were more customers than would be expected on a Saturday. Most of them were in the area that had the college apparel rather than the books and supplies. Tara and Willow separated, Willow going to the small area where the store sold retail books, and Tara to the art supply section. Willow looked through the most recent fantasy editions, she saw a copy of Piers Antony’s Crewl Lye . She picked it up and began reading the beginning. She found herself transported to the land of Xanth when Tara came up behind her and looked over her shoulder.

“Found something that you like?” she said quietly into Willow’s ear.

“Yeah, he’s one of my favorite authors and I’ve been reading this series since I was thirteen. He pops out a book every year, sometimes even two. They are all based in this land called Xanth which is basically Florida if you look at the map in the book. He is a brilliant writer and he uses a lot of puns.” She showed Tara the title.

“That is funny. Are you going to buy it?”

“Nope, as I say so frequently, not a part of my discretionary income. In a year or two, I’ll find it at a used bookstore, and I’ll read it then.” Willow put the book back on the shelf and turned to her girlfriend. Did you find anything that you needed/wanted?”

“Nope, just priced some art supplies. I don’t really need anything. It’s just always cool to see what they have and to think about ways that I would use the different items for different mediums.”

“In comparison from how you would use them in different larges?”

Tara looked at her with a confused look on her face.

“The dangers of reading Piers Antony, it makes me think of puns. You made a comment about different kinds of art supplies, different mediums, and I thought of the other definition of medium and made a pun. Sorry, geek here.” Willow pointed to herself with her thumbs.

“I get it. Sorry that I’m not as smart as you and you have to explain your funny comments.” Tara looked down at her feet.

“You’re plenty smart, don’t put yourself down, I’m the one with the weird sense of humor.” Willow nudged Tara’s foot with her own and waited for Tara’s eyes to meet her own. “I hope my silly sense of humor doesn’t make you feel bad.”

“No, it doesn’t. I just get frustrated when my mind doesn’t catch plays on words.”

“You probably didn’t have as much time to spend thinking of the various different definitions of words. As I have said a lot before, lonely geek here, I actually read the dictionary sometimes when I am bored.”



“Sometimes you use the word geek as though it is something you are proud of, but other times it seems like you are putting yourself down for it.”

“Yeah, I guess that I have ambivalent feelings about the term. It’s sort of like the word,” she whispered, “dyke.” She went back to her normal tone. “I might refer to myself as one, but when someone calls me it, I feel bad.”

“It has to do with the person saying it and the intention. Sounds like tone has a lot to do with it too.”

“I guess.” Willow looked at her watch, “We should get going to the game so we can get our preferred seats.”


They exited the store and leisurely walked to the athletic field. When they got there, both teams were practicing at their respective goals. Willow and Tara put down their blankets and sat down and began to watch. The game started a few minutes after they got there. Willow looked into the goal that was closest to them and saw the girl that she knew was Buffy. Tara and Buffy have some sort of history, why doesn’t she want to tell me about it? Willow asked herself.

Throughout the first half, Willow periodically looked at Tara to see if she was paying more attention to the goalie or to the game. Willow could sense of uneasiness in her girlfriend and yearned to ask directly about it. However, any mention of the goalie in the past had caused Tara to become withdrawn and defensive. Willow suspected that there was something that she was not aware of between the two. Tara had alluded that they’d done something, but she was always clear that it wasn’t dating. She reflected back to the period of silence and uncomfortable looks that she had seen pass between Tara, Sue and April. am I being paranoid? she asked herself. Willow looked over at her girlfriend, that word doesn’t even do it justice, my other half, ok that sounds like we’re really old, we’re not lovers…there is just no moniker that seems right The sun was hitting her hair and the golden highlights were accentuated. How could Faith describe it as ‘mousy’; her hair is radiant, a combination of blond, light and dark brown. It is the prettiest hair that I’ve ever looked at Willow found herself watching Tara rather than the game. Ok, Rosenberg, don’t fawn over her in public. Focus on the game. She is smiling and seems to genuinely be enjoying the experience. You should too. . Willow went back to watching the soccer game.

At half time, Willow said to Tara, “I’ve got to go use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok, I’ll be right here.” Tara smiled at Willow.

As Willow was walking back from the restroom to the bleachers, she saw Faith.

“Hey Red, you better get back to your girl. Looks like someone’s making the moves on her.”

Willow looked up on to the bleachers and saw that a blond-haired woman was sitting very close to Tara. Willow walked quickly to back to her seat and saw that the blond-haired woman was Buffy. She was sitting almost on top of Tara and talking to her in a low voice. Willow sat down on her blanket as quietly as possible. A few moments later, Tara realized that Willow had returned and said to Buffy.

“Buffy, this is my girl-friend Willow. Willow, Buffy.”

Willow said “Hi.” Buffy did not acknowledge her; she went back to talking to Tara at a volume that was difficult to hear. Just then, someone else came up to Tara and engulfed her in a back hug. Buffy took the opportunity to mutter to Willow, “I hope you enjoyed it, because she won’t be your girlfriend for long. She was mine first and I keep what’s mine.” She then stood up and left.

It did not appear that Tara was aware of the interaction, she turned and introduced the girl who had hugged her as another member of the class of ‘84. Willow smiled at the girl and sat back down.

The urge to run away washed over Willow for the third time that day. Thoughts of how close Buffy has been to Tara, and how Tara had allowed it. Faiths and Buffy’s comments. She was out of her league. Tara would be better off with someone who was more charismatic like Buffy. She should just concede defeat and slink off. But Tara was one of the best things that had happened to her in a long time. Could she fight for her? Was fighting even appropriate. Tara was her own person. If she wanted to be with Buffy, it was her choice. Tara kept telling her that she’d chosen her. If she still had a thing for Buffy, wouldn’t she have pursued that. Willow thought back, didn’t Buffy have a long-time girlfriend when she was in college. Her name was Erica and I heard that they’d been together since their sophomore year. Nothing seemed to make sense. . Willow was brought out of her thoughts by the noise of the game beginning again.

She looked at her girlfriend soon to be ex?, she was riveted on the game. Her eyes were following the ball and focusing on their friends not the blond-haired goalie. Willow moved a little closer to Tara, figuring if the goalie could be practically on her lap, she could be six inches rather than a foot away. Tara tapped Willow’s foot when and smiled. Tara’s blue eyes were sparkling, and Willow could not deny that the look communicated fondness and care. Willow tapped her foot back and they both returned to watching the game.

Their team beat the alumni team by one goal. Willow felt a bit of satisfaction that Buffy had not been able to stop a rather mundane attack on goal. She kept this feeling to herself, not wanting to belittle someone with whom Tara appeared to have a history. Willow struggled with the desire to talk to Tara about their interaction but figured if it was something she wanted to share; she would share it. As they were walking away from the game, April came running toward them. Tara stopped and began talking to the girl. Willow kept walking and Tara needed to jog to catch up with her.

“You ok?” asked Tara as they walked toward campus.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I’m just getting a weird vibe off you. You walked off when was talking to April. Are you upset about something?”

“No, I’m ok,” Willow lied. “Did you enjoy the game? Sue, April and Augi played really well as usual. Were you surprised Buffy missed that last goal?”

“I guess. I am sure that she is kicking herself. It’s important to her to seem infallible.”

“So, she seemed glad to see you,” commented Willow.

“I guess. She and I hung out a bit last year.” Willow could hear the evasive tone in Tara’s voice. The two continued to walk. It was one of their first uncomfortable silences.

Willow couldn’t stand the feeling, so she asked, “Do you want to get some lunch before I have to go to work?”

“Um, I told April and Sue that I’d wait for them. I thought that it would be closer to three when the game got over and you’d have to go straight to work. I said I’d meet them at our dorm. I’m sorry. If you want to go get something quick, I’ll sit with you.”

“No problem. I totally understand. I’ve got to go to my dorm and change into my work clothes. I’ll make a sandwich there and go off to work. Will I get to see you later?”

“Yeah, sure. There’s going to be a party at Mill’s House that I was invited to, you can join me after the dance recital if you want.”

“Um, probably all I’m going to want to do is get in the shower and go to bed after working seven hours. Give me a call tomorrow morning?”

“Definitely.” They were at the division point between the two campuses. “Do you want me to come with you while you change? I could make you the sandwich.”

“Naw, it’s ok. You know if you come to my dorm, we’ll get derailed and then I’ll be late for work.” Willow smiled at Tara who smiled back, neither girl’s smiles going into their eyes.

“Ok, talk to you tomorrow. Hope the recital goes well. I’ll try to stop by the lighting booth and say ‘hi’ if It’s before the recital. It’s at 7 right?”

“Yeah. See you.” Willow responded. She turned around, allowing the smile to exit her face and wondered if that would be the last interaction of their relationship.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 26, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:58 am 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass: Thanks so much for the email feedback. :bounce Once again I was feeling sad as my name continued to be the only posts on my story. I've been writing a bunch, and was probably going to break down and post without feedback soon. :geek.

Learning to Laugh
This part: PG-13
Disclaimer:Josh owns the characters, I imagine different lives for them. Amber is herself, and as I am realizing that JustSkipIt has a large part in the creation of my characters. Her stories are so real to me, especially Season 3 Y'all and Paths Diverged/Divulged. I realize that her stories get messed up with Cannon in my head. I am re-reading these stories and can't hold a candle to them, but the Tara in my mind is a combo of Cannon Tara, Amber Benson, and JustSkipIt's Taras.

Part 16

Willow and Aimee were practicing the light cues when she heard a soft knock on the door. Willow walked to the door, opened it and was pleasantly surprised to find Tara standing there.

“Hey.” They said to each other.

“Aimee, I’m going to take a quick break, if that is ok with you?” said Willow.

The older girl smiled when she saw who was in the doorway and said, “Take your time.”

Willow exited the lighting room. As she closed the door, she commented, “Sorry, I don’t have a lot of time. We’ve got to go through the cues at least one more time before the dancers get here.”

“I just wanted to say ‘hi’. I missed you. I guess I was spoiled the last two Saturdays. I got to spend all day with you. I am guessing that this is going to be the norm,” said Tara.

“I think that they both will be typical. Follow me.” Willow walked toward a door that Tara had never know where it went. She opened the door and they went up the small stairs. Tara realized that this was probably one of the hideaways that Willow had mentioned. She saw a stand of three lights aimed at the stage and saw that they were illuminating in different patterns as they stood there. “Wanna make out a little?” inquired Willow in a sultry tone.

“I thought you’d never ask,” replied Tara.

Willow leaned against the wall and pulled Tara toward her. Their lips met. After a few minutes of kissing, Tara remarked, “Is it me, or is it getting really hot in here.”

“Probably both. The lights give off a lot of heat, but so do we.” Willow winked at Tara. “I’ve got to get back to work. Have a good time at your party. Call me tomorrow when you wake up, ok?”

They left the room, and Tara opened her backpack and handed Willow some food. “I brought you a turkey sandwich, a granola bar and some juice. I had the feeling that you didn’t eat lunch or dinner.

“Thanks, this is definitely appreciated.” Willow watched Tara walk down the stairs and out the building. She returned to the lighting booth, feeling a little more confident that maybe Buffy was full of shit.

“You seem a little happier now,” commented Aimee. “nothing like a little smooching to get your head right.”

“How did you know?”

“Well, your shirt was tucked in when you left, and it’s untucked now,” teased the older girl.

“You got me.” Willow smiled, “Let’s get those light cues down.”

After the recital, Willow contemplated joining Tara at the party. However, first she’d need to take a shower, and if she took a shower, she’d rather put on her pajamas than get dressed up. Parties are not my thing. You’ll see her tomorrow she admonished herself.

Willow went back to her dorm. When she walked in the door, she was surprised to see that Anya was reading in her bed.

“Who are you, and what did you do with my roommate?” Willow asked Anya.

“Funny. You know we are at college. I’ve got to read schoolwork sometimes.”

“But on a Saturday night?”

“I’m going into Boston tomorrow with some friends to go shopping. I’ve got to get my work done tonight. I’m leaving pretty early; I’ll try not to wake you up.”

“Don’t worry about it. If I wake up, I can just go back to sleep.” Willow went into her closet, grabbed a towel, her shower bucket, and a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt. She exited the room and went to the shower.

When she got back, Anya had turned out the light and seemed to be trying to settle down to sleep. The hot shower had made Willow sleepy as well, so she put her dirty clothes in her hamper and climbed into bed.

“Goodnight,” said Anya.

“Goodnight,” replied Willow.

Willow wasn’t sure how long she’d been sleeping when she heard a tapping on the door. Initially, she doubted that it was her door, but as it became more insistent, Willow realized that it was her door. Willow got up and opened the door. She was expecting to see some drunk guy looking for a different room, but who was there was her blue-eyed girlfriend. She was looking slightly inebriated and it appeared that she’d been crying, her mascara was running, and her eye makeup was smeared. She was wearing a skirt that was very short, and a shirt that was not weather appropriate. Despite this judgement, Willow couldn’t help but think, Oh my Goddess, she is HOT and beautiful

“Can I sleep here?” the brown-haired girl asked.

“Yeah, sure. Anya’s here too.”

“I figured. I just want to be with you.” Tara took off her coat and put it in the closet.

“Is everything alright?” queried Willow.

“Not really, but I don’t want to talk about it now. I just want to go to sleep with you.”

“Ok. I’ll get you some night clothes,” She went to her dresser and pulled out shorts and a tee-shirt. She then rooted around her top drawer until she found a new toothbrush and a washcloth. She handed all four things to Tara. “You remember which cubby is mine, right?

“Yeah.” Tara put the clothes on top of the dresser and took the toothbrush and washcloth with her as she exited the room.

While she was gone, Willow grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and put it and two Tylenol on her bedside table.

As she was putting these things on the table, Tara came into the room, grabbed the clothes and went into the closet to change. Willow got in bed and divided up her pillows so that they would both have two. Willow lay against the wall and waited for Tara to join her.

Tara slipped into bed, “We’re switching places?”

“Yeah, I thought that you might need to get up again. I put a bottle of water and some Tylenol on the bedside table.”

“You are so considerate. What have I done to have such a considerate girlfriend,” said Tara starting to cry.

Willow put her arms around the crying girl. Is she a maudlin drunk? Did something happen?

“It’s ok, sweetie. Take the pills, drink the water and we can to sleep. Whatever is bothering you we’ll deal with it in the morning.”

“Ok,” responded Tara following Willow’s directions. Tara then settled back onto the bed. Fitting herself into the indentation created by Willow’s body. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” replied Willow. Willow had figured that it was going to be difficult to fall asleep again. But listening to Tara’s rhythmic breathing and feeling the warmth from the other girl, she slipped off to sleep.
Willow woke up, surprised to find a warm body draped over her. Her roommate was puttering around the room getting ready to leave and gave her a thumbs up when she saw that Tara was there. Willow acknowledged the sign and smiled. She tried to go back to sleep, but not all systems were cooperative. Willow did her best to remove herself from the bed without rousing the brown-haired girl, and thought that she had done well, but when she returned from attending to her personal needs, Tara was awake and was sitting on the bed. Willow could tell that she still wasn’t feeling well, so she grabbed another bottle of water and Tylenol and handed it to her girlfriend who accepted both willingly.

“Do you have any crackers or cookies? I hate taking pills on an empty stomach?” asked Tara.

Willow sorted through her cache of food and found a pack of graham crackers.

“Perfect.” Tara responded, opening the pack and slowly eating them.

Willow got back in bed. I should give her time to wake up and then I’ll ask what happened.

Tara kissed Willow on the forehead and got up and left the room. “I’ll be right back.”


While Tara was gone, a myriad of things that Tara could tell her raced through Willow’s head, but most of them did not logically associate with Tara’s late night arrival and insistence that she needed to be with Willow. If something had happened with Buffy. If she’d decided to break-up, why would she come to her? Willow was really at a loss for what could have happened to make Tara so upset. She returned to the thought that maybe Tara just got emotional when she drank. Substance use had not been a discussion between the two women yet, and Willow hoped that this would not be a point of contention.

Tara came back into the room, grabbed the rest of the bottle of water, and gulped it down.

“Hi,” said Tara using their frequent opening lines.

“Hi,” responded Willow.

“Thanks for just taking care of me when I appeared at your door.”

“My pleasure. I’m not going to turn you away, ever.”

“Are you sure, what if I make bad decisions or put myself in situations that I regret.”

“Tara, even if our relationship doesn’t work out, I’ll still be your friend, and I’ll be here when you need me.”

“Why are you talking about our relationship not working out? Is drinking a deal breaker?” Tara’s voice went up an octave.

“No. I’m not much of a drinker, but if you want to, I don’t care. I was more wondering if your being upset had something to do with seeing Buffy again.”

“How did you know?”

“It does not take a rocket scientist to know that most likely the soccer lunch and party included the alumni, especially the class of ’84. Add to this the fact that Buffy gave me a very clear message that she was going to get back with you, that you were quote “hers first”. I figured that if she had a chance, she’d make a move.”

“She said what to you?” Tara said in a furious tone.

“She said that you were hers first and she was going to get back with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me.”

“I was kinda shocked, and you know me. I withdraw and run; I don’t immediately fight. Plus, I don’t know any of your history with Buffy, we’ve never talked about it. It’s always seemed like a taboo subject… I just want you to be happy. If you’d be happier with Buffy, I’d bow away.”

Tara paused, the silence was deafening, but Willow could tell the girl needed some time to get her thoughts together. Willow sat there, looking at her legs as they sat beside each other on the bed.

“It’s probably not as bad as you are worried about. I think the beers just intensified my reaction. Side note, how did you know about the Tylenol and water need?”

“I’ve had a few friends who need that cure.”

“Do you ever drink?”

“Rarely. I don’t like how it makes me feel.”

“That feeling of lack of control, eh?”

“Yeah, and the nausea afterwards. I will do almost anything to avoid nausea.”

“I hear you.” Tara looked Willow in the eyes and smiled.

“Let me start at the beginning. I think when you first met April and Sue, they made a comment about how last year, I had a crush on Buffy. At first, I denied it, but as they continued to tease me, I realized it was true. I knew however that she was dating someone, and that it was just a crush, nothing would happen of it. It just helped clarify some things that I had been thinking about for a while. I really didn’t think anything of it. Well, I was at this graduation soccer party at her dorm, and I had a few beers. Buffy started coming on to me really strong. She said she’d broken up with her girlfriend, and that she knew that I liked her. She’d flirted with me a bit at other soccer events, but I chalked that up to her being a flirt. Sue and April always said that about her. Well, Buffy invited me up to her room. I like a fool went with her. We ended making out some, and in retrospect, I realized that my suspicions that I was gay were true. She was very flattering to me, but she was also pretty forceful. I realize now, that she took advantage of me. It was like an afterschool special about why you shouldn’t go to parties, drink and/or go into people’s bedrooms. Well, when I set a firm limit about what I wouldn’t do, she kinda pulled away, and went back to the party. I got up and left. I was thinking that maybe we were going to be dating. Well, that was quickly squashed by my seeing her and Erica mooning over each other at lunch the next day. She’d lied to me about their breakup; she just wanted to get some “on the side”.

Willow didn’t know what to say, so she just sat and waited for the girl to continue to speak.

“I was really hoping that she wouldn’t come to the alumni game. But she did, you saw her sitting next to me, she was really forward, and was saying really nice things to me. I think I kinda fell into her spell for a moment. It was broken when you came back from the bathroom, I saw you and remembered what a real relationship could be. I knew you’d seen her sitting practically in my lap, and I was feeling flattered and guilty. I could tell that you just wanted to run away, and I appreciate that you didn’t.” Tara took Willow’s hand and squeezed it.

“I did want to run.” Willow acknowledged.

“I know. I knew that is why you walked away from me when I was talking about April. You didn’t want to know if she was talking about Buffy. You just wanted to avoid the situation.”

“Yeah,” admitted Willow. I was really worried that our walk from the game was going to be our last interaction.

“I am so sorry that I did anything to make you feel that way.” Tara looked at Willow and put her hand on Willow’s leg. Willow had the overwhelming urge to move, it felt wrong. She sat there, waiting for Tara to continue. Her discomfort was put aside when Tara took her hand back an put it on her own lap.

“I have to say that it made me happy when you came to visit me at the theater,” commented Willow. I know there is more. She was upset about something. I really don’t want to hear it. Should I just tell her I don’t want to know what happened? No, it will eat us away inside. Honesty is good. Honesty hurts, but honesty is good.

“What is going on inside here” Tara tapped Willow’s forehead, “I can see the hamster wheel going at warp speed.”

“Hey, I didn’t know you knew Star Trek lingo?”

“My brother really liked it. He used to talk about wanting to go at warp speed. Now, you are trying to change the subject. Willow, I’ve got to tell you what happened. I want to be the one who tells you. I don’t want anyone else to tell you.”

“Ok. I’m listening.” Willow turned so she was facing Tara.

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 28, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 11:42 am 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:18 am
Posts: 15
So plus side thật târa laying ít all out and willow í willing to listen. Tues we shoulđ get out pitchforks for buffy ready

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 28, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 12:06 pm 
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 85
Oh hell , hope it's nothing too hurtful to either girl. Hope this comment posts.

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 28, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 6:15 pm 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass: Thanks for the feedback. You can judge how hurtful it all is.

Dragon: Grab the pitchforks, it's almost Tuesday. I'm posting a bit early because I've been writing so much and I want to share it.

Learning to Laugh
This part: PG-13/R
Disclaimer:Josh owns the characters, I imagine different lives for them. Amber is herself, and as I am realizing that JustSkipIt has a large part in the creation of my characters. Her stories are so real to me, especially Season 3 Y'all and Paths Diverged/Divulged. I realize that her stories get messed up with Cannon in my head. I am re-reading these stories and can't hold a candle to them, but the Tara in my mind is a combo of Cannon Tara, Amber Benson, and JustSkipIt's Taras. Willow is partially Cannon, partially mine, and most likely the rest a combination of all the fan fiction I read.

Thanks to Northernlass and Dragon for an early posting. Feedback will equal Interlude 4.

Part 17

“Ok. I’m listening.” Willow turned so she was facing Tara.

“Fast-forward to the soccer party. You’d think I’d have learned. Buffy gave me a beer, and we started talking. It was pretty normal, April, Sue and Buffy and I were talking. She was telling us about living in Portland, and how she is in some bank management training program. It was just normal talking. But then, April and Sue walked away, and Buffy started coming on really strong. She cornered me and she accidently kissed me. I swear I didn’t kiss her back. I pushed her away, but she grabbed at me. She said that she’d always liked me and found me sexy. She said that she’d thought about the graduation party and she’d come to the game to see me. and was saying things about how I must have picked my short skirt to make her wild. Seriously, I’d just gotten dressed up because I thought it would be fun. Well, I walked away, and she kept following me. I looked around for April, Sue or Augi, so I’d have someone to run interference, but I couldn’t find them. I was upset so I grabbed another beer while I was looking for someone I knew who would run interference. I drank the beer really fast. A bit later, Buffy cornered me kissed me again and tried to grab me. Finally, I just left the party. I went to my dorm room. Claire was there and it all spilled out. The stuff with Buffy and then the stuff with us. Ironically, she said that she knew about us, she was just waiting for me to tell her. She asked me why I didn’t ever bring you over. She wants to meet you. She was really cool, and when I said that all I wanted to do was to see you. She encouraged me to just go to you, and here I am. I’m sorry. I should have thought that Buffy would misinterpret my outfit. I shouldn’t have gone to the party. Willow, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Tara, listen to yourself. You are blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault. You had every right to dress the way you wanted to in order to go to the party. You had every right to go to the party, your friends were there. She had no right to force herself on you, either time. I know that she is part of your friendship group, but I think she’s a sleaze. Actually, she’s no better than those frat boys you hear about. Do you want to do anything about it? We could talk to someone in the administration, get her banned from campus.” Willow paused, her tone changing, “Oh, and the Yay with the roommate. That makes it less awkward, I’d like to meet her too.”

“I don’t know that I want to do anything about it. It’s not like she really assaulted me. I just know other people saw what she was doing, and I am sure that people are going to come up to you and tell you.”

“I’ll handle that. Can I say that with sober thoughts you realized that I was the one you wanted not that skank?”

“I’d love to hear you say that. I think I’d laugh. So are you mad at me.” Tara’s sapphire eyes looked into the Emerald ones.

Willow looked down at her lap. “I don’t know how I feel about it right now. I am kind of numb. But mad, probably not.” She made eye contact again with the blue orbs. I think I might get sad. I think it might make me feel insecure, but right now, I am glad you are safe. I’m happy that you are here, and I want to support you with whatever you want to do. I guess this is one of those bumps in the road that they tell you happen in relationships. I think we’ll be able to work it out.” Willow attempted to smile at Willow but was aware that it didn’t go up into her eyes.

“I hope so, meeting you, pursuing you is the best thing that I think I have ever done. You make me happy; you make me feel safe; you make me feel cared for…” Tara reached out to touch Willow’s arm.

“That’s cause I REALLY like you.” I think I’ve fallen in love with you, but right now is not the right time to tell you that. Willow moved closer to the girl.

“I really like you too.” Tara replied.

The two girls sat anxiously looking at each other.

Willow broke the silence, “Do you want to go get some breakfast?”

“No. My stomach is still rocky. I just want to go back to sleep. You should go. Can I stay here?” Tara looked at Willow with her big, somewhat bloodshot eyes.

“Of course. This is supposed to be Tara/Willow time. However, I am hungry, as you predicted I only ate ½ a bagel, a turkey sandwich, a granola bar, and a bottle of juice yesterday.”

“You’ve got to take better care of yourself Willow.” Tara turned over and put the covers over her head.

“I know. I just forget to eat sometimes.” Willow got out of bed, pulled a pair of sweats out of her closet and put it over her pajama shorts. She added a matching hooded sweatshirt to the ensemble, grabbed her ID off the desk. “Do you want anything?”

“No. I’m good.”

“You sure are,” teased Willow, but the brown-haired girl was not listening. Willow exited her room and went to the cafeteria. Despite Tara saying that she didn’t want anything. Willow picked up a blueberry muffin and a bottle of apple juice for Tara if she wanted it later. She was toasting her bagel when Leslie came behind her.

“Hey Will, Hate to go all Grandma on you, but you never call, we never talk. Come eat breakfast with us.” Leslie gestured to a table where Chris, Faith and Terry were sitting. There was another girl there too who Willow knew that she had met but couldn’t remember her name.

“Tara’s back in my room…” said Willow looking toward the door and her chosen escape.

“What is she doing?” asked her friend.

“Sleeping off a hangover.”

“If she’s sleeping, she won’t notice if you are gone another fifteen minutes. Just come talk to us for a few minutes.” Her friend begged her and she gestured over to the table.

“Ok,” said Willow, taking her bagel out of the toaster and putting a schmeer of cream cheese on her plate. Willow walked over to the table, aware that most likely she was going to be the subject of an inquisition. run, Willow run, her emotional brain commanded. Just stay, deal with it or you’ll just be putting it off said the rational mind. Breathe, Breathe. said a little voice in her head. Willow decided to listen to this little voice. She knew that it was the one that made the most sense.

Willow took several deep breaths, put a smile on her face, and sat down. She felt like the whole table’s attention shifted onto her. She could tell that they had questions and wondered who would speak first. Willow focused on putting her cream cheese on her bagel. She was ravenous, even if this bagel tasted like sawdust, she needed to eat it.

“So, Wil, how are things going?” asked Chris. Her attention focused on the red-haired girl. The rest of the people at the table seemed similarly interested in Willow’s response to the answer.

“Good. Things are going well. I’m doing well in classes, working at the theater, doing the girlfriend thing. All is good.” Willow looked at her food, the bagel beginning to look like a small, circle of concrete with little rocks embedded.

“You are still dating Tara?” Chris inquired. “If so, I would have thought you would have been at the party last night.”

“I was doing the lights for the dance recital. I’d agreed to do it way before I even knew that there was going to be a party. I used to not be that into sports, so I didn’t even know that this was athletics alumni weekend. Plus, you know, parties aren’t really my thing.” Willow went back to trying to choke down her bagel.

“They seem to be your girlfriend’s thing. She looked like she was really enjoying herself,” commented Faith.

Willow looked at the four women at the table. She knew what they were trying to get at, but it annoyed her. “Is this some sort of intervention. Do you guys want to make sure that I’m not blindsided by someone else who will tell me that…” Her voice got quieter so only the people at the table could hear, “Make sure that I know that Buffy Summers was all over my girlfriend last night.”

“You know?” asked Faith. “You are ok with it, never figured you to be that open-minded.?”

“No, I was not ok with it. I hate that it happened.” Willow’s voice started to escalate. She realized that she didn’t want everyone to know her business, so she lowered her voice. “I wish that Buffy would spontaneously combust and fly into millions of little pieces. I wish that I had gone to the party and been able to punch her in the nose if she said something to Tara or tried to touch her.”

“Look who’s all with the butch,” exclaimed Terry laughing nervously.

“Willow, Tara didn’t look like an unwilling participant,” commented Faith as she forced Willow to make eye contact by walking over to her.

“Well, looks can be deceiving. There is some weird history between them. She was Tara’s first crush. Do you ever really get over your first crush? But my quote for anyone who wants to know is that when Tara sobered up, she sees that Buffy is a skank.”

“Well, that is clear. How are YOU dealing with it?” asked Leslie.

“I don’t know. It hasn’t sunk in.” Willow took another bite of her bagel and forced herself to swallow. “I REALLY like her. She’s really a great person. It’s sort of my fault too. She forced herself to take a drink from the glass of apple juice she had poured herself.

“How could it be your fault?” asked Chris.

“Well, Buffy made a comment to me that Tara was hers first, and basically implied that she was going to try to get Tara to be her girlfriend. If I’d told Tara Buffy said that, maybe she would have been more prepared for Buffy’s advances. But I froze. I started doubting myself like I am so good at doing. I started thinking that it was Tara’s choice, if she wanted Buffy rather than me, it was her choice to make.

“Willow, Tara is an adult, she made her own decisions,” pointed out the fourth girl. “Oh, hi. My name is Monica.”

“Hi. Monica.” where did she come from? I’ve seen her somewhere before, where? Is Leslie smiling at her? I’ve got to talk to Leslie later. . Willow came back to the present, “I know guys. I’ve got a lot to deal with. This certainly did not help our relationship. I am upset, but I hope that Tara and I can get through it. I think she’s worth the work.”

“If you say so,” said Leslie.

“I do. I am going to go bring her some breakfast, because it’s MY bed that she came to last night. I’m the one who she wanted to sleep with. I’m the one who she came to get comfort. But thanks for the concern. I do appreciate it. I know you guys are looking out for my best interest.” Willow got up, pocketed the food that she’d bought for Tara, put up her tray up and walked out of the cafeteria.

Willow walked back to her dorm. She saw that Tara was in a deep sleep and had spread herself over the entire bed. Willow changed into more outdoor appropriate clothes, grabbed a piece of paper and left her a note.

Dear Tara,
You were really asleep when I came back from the cafeteria. You looked beautiful and peaceful. I knew if I joined you, I’d be wiggling around and you’d not be able to sleep off your hangover. I brought you a muffin and some juice. I put them in the refrigerator. I’ve probably gone to the library. I need to do some studying and I need some time to think. I am positive that we’ll get through this, and I promise that I am not mad. I am not used to having people in my life to confide in, so my way of dealing is to immerse myself in studying and thinking. I know that we were supposed to spend the day together, but the plan was that we’d be studying by now. I have a tough computer program to write too, I was going to do it tomorrow, but maybe today is a better day. I will come by your dorm when I am done. I want to say hi to Claire. Feel free to stay here as long as you want.
Yours, Willow.

The ghosts of Tara and her activities in the library made it not the peaceful place that it had been for Willow before the relationship. She thought of another place that she’d found where she could sit, think and study. I was an alcove on the top floor of the student union. On the weekends, it was uninhabited, and Willow knew that nobody would ever think to look for her there. Willow did not want to talk to or interact with anyone. She initially tried to clear her mind with geometry proofs and problems, but even this work did not ameliorate the heavy feelings in her chest and stomach. Shit, if I’ve lost my last way to shut my emotional brain off, I am fucked. How do I feel about all of this? Am I angry at Tara? At myself? At Buffy? Why didn’t I tell Tara what Buffy said? Why do I just shut down and flee? Maybe it’s because I fled so often. Maybe it’s because I was never around long enough to make true friends. I always knew that the end of the summer, we’d be moving. I played on eight different softball teams. Also, my parents hated when I was emotional. I learned to flee and hide when I was feeling down. Asking for what I wanted or needed was frowned upon. I was supposed to be content with what I got. Just be good Willow, who blindly follows wherever she is led. I needed to be content with what I got.

Willow could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She knew that she would probably feel better if she let them out, but it was hard. She’d trained herself not to show emotion. She’d been rewarded. How do you get accidently kissed? Nobody has ever accidently kissed me. I guess before Tara, nobody particularly wanted to kiss me. I went on some dates, and I had a few kisses, but nothing special, nothing like with Tara. She makes my entire body get enervated. Electricity soars from my head down to my toes. I feel like I am good enough when I am with her. I love her. I've fallen in love with her. I must not make her feel that way. How do you get accidently kissed? If we stay together will she be thinking about Buffy when she kisses me. Has she been thinking about Buffy all this time? The tears began to fall silently down her cheeks. I don’t think so. She says that she really likes me. When she looks at me, she seems very fond of me. A few times it has seemed like she might like me A LOT. She looks at me in ways like I see Chris and Leslie looking at each other, or Faith and Terry, or like how Tara looked at that hot fudge sundae. How am I going to get over this? I feel lousy. Willow used her sweatshirt arm to wipe the tears off her face.

I feel like somebody has punched me in the solar plexus. I know that I am hiding here. But I don’t want to go back to my dorm, because she might still be there, I don’t want to go to the library because she might come looking for me or I might bump into someone who was at the party. But I feel stupid sitting here in an empty hallway. What can I do? How can you get accidently kissed? I know, I’ll walk to the town library. It’s a good walk, and nobody will think to look for me there.

Willow put her books in her backpack, and her hood on her head, and walked down the stairs and into the anonymity of the campus and then the town. She stayed at the town library until it was about to close, went into the supermarket and bought a sandwich. She then walked back to the campus and into the computer lab. All through her day, the phrase, “How can you get accidently kissed?” echoed in her head. Her answer was, “If you’re as beautiful as Tara, people are going to want to kiss you. I still do.”

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:51 pm 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:18 am
Posts: 15
Hmmm that question is gonna stick with me till theres a proper answer. Willow seems to be really selling herself short here

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 11:46 pm 
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 434
“How can you get accidently kissed?”

Yeah, good question. Tara's phrase "accidently kissed me" puzzled me too (apart from: isn't it spelled "accidentally"?). I'm pretty sure for Buffy it wasn't an "accident".
I'm extremely curious what Tara will write in her diary about the party and about her conversation with Buffy at the soccer game because I'm wondering if she told Willow the full story.

Even if she didn't, I'm glad she went to Willow after the party and that Willow took care of her without asking any questions that night. It also gave me hope that Willow emphasized on these positive things in the conversation with her friends:
I am going to go bring her some breakfast, because it’s MY bed that she came to last night. I’m the one who she wanted to sleep with. I’m the one who she came to get comfort.

I'm a little worried though that the strange Monica who heard the whole conversation might be a friend of Buffy or will just spread gossip about our girls relationship.

That at the end of the chapter Willow once again flees / hides from Tara made me sad, but it was probably to be expected that she would feel overwhelmed by the situation and have her doubts if Tara really loves her. I hope she won't fall into a bout of depression…

I'm looking forward to the next update and once again grateful that you post so frequently.

(One little thing: my username is Will's redemption, not revenge - I choose it after the end of season 6 when Willow was in desperate need of the former after getting lost in the latter...)

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 10:23 am 
8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 719
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Will's Redemption: Thanks for the feedback. I don't know how your incorrect moniker got in my head liked it did. :blush I think I must have had Evil Willow on the brain. Thanks for the feedback. Weird that "the accidentally kissed" misspell was not caught, especially seeing that it is there several times. I am guessing that somehow I added my word to the dictionary. :ashamed. Monica was a character that I made up. She is a red herring. I just wanted to add an extra person to the table.

Learning to Laugh
This part: PG-13
Disclaimer:Josh owns the characters, I imagine different lives for them. Amber is herself, and as I am realizing that JustSkipIt has a large part in the creation of my characters. Her stories are so real to me, especially Season 3 Y'all and Paths Diverged/Divulged. I realize that her stories get messed up with Cannon in my head. I am re-reading these stories and can't hold a candle to them, but the Tara in my mind is a combo of Cannon Tara, Amber Benson, and JustSkipIt's Taras. Willow is partially Cannon, partially mine, and most likely the rest a combination of all the fan fiction I read.
No spoilers.

As promised in exchange for feedback. I am still several chapters ahead, with more planned out, so I post for feedback. :bounce

Interlude Four
November 9, 1985. 5:00 pm
Dear Tara, what have you gotten yourself into? Shit, Shit, Damn, Shit. This day started out good, was really bad, and now is looking better. It all started with having breakfast with Willow and some people from the soccer team. Things were going really well until Stef made a comment about Buffy being the alumni’s goalkeeper. I’d been really hoping that she wouldn’t come. When her name was mentioned, Sue and April gave me this weird look. It was uncomfortable. I know that Willow saw it and I kind of wanted to tell her all about what happened with me and Buffy, but I also didn’t. I didn’t want to take the chance that Willow would be upset, or jealous. Honestly, I just wanted to forget what had happened. Chalk it up as a bad experience that is being ameliorated by some really great experiences now. When we were at the store, Willow was looking at a book that she really wanted. I’ve got to go back to the store and buy it before someone else does. She was talking about him being her favorite author and having to wait a few years to read the most recent edition. I can’t wait until we are out of college and we’re making our own money and won’t have to think about whether we can afford a 5 dollar book. Well we went to the game and it was really good. However, during half-time, Willow went to the restroom and I think that Buffy was just looking for the opportunity to pounce. She sat down REALLY close to me and was talking about how it was great to see me, and that I looked good, that I should come visit Portland some time, she’d show me all around, we could go to Freeport and go to LL Bean. I should have known that something was weird because she was talking really quiet. When Willow came back, I introduced her to Buffy. I was hoping that telling her that I had a girlfriend would make her move further away, but it seemed to do the opposite. She was telling me how good I looked, and how I could do better than a “dyke” like Willow. I was about to give her a ‘piece of my mind’ about that comment, but she got up to go back to playing. I could tell that Willow was upset and I could almost hear her brain trying to figure out a way to leave without hurting my feelings or it seeming weird. I was really glad that she stayed. We were walking back to her dorm when Sue stopped me and invited me to a lunch the soccer team was having. Without thinking I said yes. Meanwhile Willow walked away, and I could tell she was upset even though she said she wasn’t. I think that Willow was trying to get me to talk about what the deal was with me and Buffy as we were walking, but I didn’t want to talk about it. I offered to sit with her and eat lunch, but she decided to go back to her dorm to change. I doubt she even ended up eating. I brought her a granola bar to the theater just in case. Lunch went really well, and Buffy didn’t really even talk to me. She was busy telling stories to everyone and being the center of attention. I thought that I must of over-reacted to what she was saying before. I thought that by making some activities to do while Willow worked would be a good idea, but I just feel weird. I’d rather just sit in the theater and watch her work. That cute butt up those tall ladders. In those moments I sort of feel like I have a butch girlfriend. I am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. I think I should probably tell her about the thing between Buffy and me. It feels like a secret that I’m keeping from her

I went to the party at Mills House. It was pretty much the same people as were at the lunch, just more boyfriends/husbands. However, there was the addition of alcohol. When will I ever learn? April, Sue and I went to the party together. We’d decided to dress up. April and Sue were wearing dresses, and I got dressed up too. I put on makeup, I just sort of went back to the kind of thing I’d do and wear last year. Well, when we walked into the party, it seemed that Buffy was waiting for us. She brought me a bottle of beer. Why this didn’t set off warning bells, I don’t know. For a while we were just all talking, but then April and Sue went outside, I think. I was standing near the kitchen, and Buffy came up to me. She had me sort of cornered. She started saying a bunch of things to me, about how good I looked. How what I was wearing made me look so hot. She seemed to think that I’d dressed that way to attract her. Her face kept on getting closer and closer to me as she talked and before I knew it, she was kissing me. I must have been a little buzzed, because I accidentally kissed her back; It took me a moment to remember that she was not Willow. I moved away and went looking for April and Sue or even Augi. I grabbed another beer and started drinking it while I looked for some of my friends, I couldn’t find anyone. I saw Faith and Terry, but they looked like they were getting ready to leave. Buffy found me again, she pushed me against the hall wall and shoved her tongue into my mouth and tried to put her hand under my shirt. I pushed her away, left the party and went back to my dorm. I was really surprised that Claire was in the room. She could tell that I was upset, and it all came spilling out of me. I hadn’t even come out to her, and now I was telling her about what has happened with Buffy. She asked why Willow wasn’t at the party with me. I told her Willow had to work, and then I realized that I didn’t know that Claire even knew who Willow was. I asked her. She said that she’d known for about two weeks but figured that I’d tell her when I wanted to. She said that she wanted to get to know Willow. See the girl that was making me more studious and smile so much. She suggested that I just write in my journal, that’s what she calls these letters that she knows I write myself and go to sleep. So that is what I am doing. But I just want to be with Willow. I want to tell her what happened and make sure that she’s not going to break up with me over it. There were a bunch of people at the party who could tell Willow. I’m afraid that they’ll get to her before I can, and who knows what other people think they saw. I know what happened, I know how I felt, I know what Buffy said, they just know what they think they saw. I want to just go to Willow. I want to go to sleep in her arms. I want to be there. I think I am just going to walk there. Maybe she is still awake, or I can talk to her when I am more awake. I am going to go there.

11/10/85 6:00
This day sucked. It’s all my own fault, but still. It sucked. I can tell that Willow’s upset. She’s trying to deny it, but there is this wall that I can feel that she’s put up. I feel really ashamed, even though I know that it’s not all my fault what happened with Buffy, I keep thinking about ways that I could have made better choices, that I should have left when she first kissed me, I shouldn’t have had that second beer, I shouldn’t have trusted that Buffy wouldn’t come after me again. I don’t think I should drink. I’ve made some stupid decisions before when I’ve had more than one beer.

I just didn’t ever think about any alternative to being straight. Everyone I knew was straight, maybe not our drama teacher in high school, but he was different. If I look back on high school, I wonder about one of the PE coaches… Using the “Oh my, I’m a lesbian” lens, I think I had some crushes on girls before I knew what that meant. My parents were so cool, but they didn’t ever mention that anything, but heterosexuality, was the norm. I love Willow, I want to tell her, but I don’t want to have the first “I love you” mixed up with this stupid Buffy stuff. I must have been sleep deprived, because I was asleep in Willow’s bed for a long time. When I woke up, I was really disappointed that she wasn’t there beside me. I thought that we were going to spend the day together. I knew that we needed to spend the day studying, but I figured that we’d be taking ‘breaks’ in the sub-basement. I thought about going to the library to find her, but I figured that if she wanted to be ‘found’, she would have come to where I was. She left me a note and said that she’d come over later after she finished her computer program. I need to figure out something to make her feel better. I know, I should take her out on a date. My grandmother sent me a check for my birthday, I could use that money to take her out. That will be an interesting thank you note, Dear Gramma, thanks for the birthday money. I took my girlfriend out on a date. Looking forward to seeing you at Solstice, Love Tara.

11/10/1985 11:00
Willow came by a few minutes ago. She said that her program took longer than she expected. She also told me that she’d been told about what happened at the party by at least 3 “friends”. I guess it has made the lesbian rumor circuit. Shit. She said that she told all of the friends that once I sobered up I realized that Buffy was a sleaze. She tried to laugh at this. I can tell she’s trying to not be upset. But I can feel her holding back. She’s got to deal with it. I’ve got to be patient. I am not a particularly patient person. It really sucks that it is Sunday night, and I hardly see Willow at all on Mondays.

11/11/85 10:00
As I suspected, I hardly saw Willow today. She was late getting out of her math class, so we only had a few minutes before we both had to go to our classes. We talked about getting together for lunch, but she was sort of evasive. I could tell that she was still trying to work things out in her head, but I am so afraid that she’s going to decide that this relationship is not worth it. Why didn’t I just go to the dance performance. I tried to convince her to go make out in the lighting closet, but she said that there were people in the auditorium and didn’t want to. We haven’t really kissed since before this all happened. We’ve had a few pecks, but not real KISSING. We had dinner after her shift, but I could tell that she was really school focused, and we ended up sitting with Sue and April. I hadn’t told them what happened, so I could tell that they were looking at us like something was strange. I suspect that we were not “glowing” like we usually do. Willow was really quiet, and it was pretty clear that she had things on her mind. How do we just get past this awkwardness?

11/12/85 2:30pm
Well, Tara it is not ALL about you. Sometimes people are weird for reasons other than because you did something. Not that everything is back to normal, but I now know that Willow’s got some other stuff she needs to deal with along with our relationship. At breakfast, she told me that she was going to have to miss lunch because she had a doctor’s appointment and she wasn’t looking forward to it. I asked if there was something I could do to help. Mama has taught me some healing rituals, and I am really good with bumps and scrapes and bruises, but Willow said it wasn’t anything like that that. She was going to see a doctor because of her head. This made me really scared, I thought something was wrong with Willow’s head, but I realized that what she was trying to tell me is that she had to see a psychiatrist. I wanted to ask a lot of questions, but I was pretty sure that Willow didn’t want to answer. I guess she is embarrassed about needing to see a psychiatrist. She said that she was just trying to lay low until afterwards, she’ll meet the doctor, and then she won’t have to be worried about it anymore. She said she hates meeting new doctors and having to go through her life story with them. She also said that she is afraid that somehow her campus insurance won’t cover it and her parents will get billed. I asked if she wanted me to go with her, not into the appointment, but sit in the waiting room. She said ‘no’, that it was something she wanted to do alone. She said she’d see me at dinner. When I went to grab some lunch, I saw April. She asked what was up with me and Willow. I gave her the short version and she just looked at me like I was crazy. She asked why I hadn’t gone outside and found her and Sue. I said that I’d looked for them but couldn’t find them. She reminded me that Willow was a lot better for me than Buffy. I made it clear that I knew that. I can’t even understand why I ever found Buffy attractive in the first place. She might be attractive, but her personality is ugly. April said that she hoped that Willow would forgive me.

Things seem better. I asked Willow out on a date. Her smile went all the way to her eyes again. She came and hung in my dorm. I showed her the stuff that my quiz was about, and by showing her the pictures and telling her about it I felt like I learned a bunch more. She read some of the text to me, and I think that I am really ready to ace this quiz. Claire came into the room when we were finishing, I got to introduce her to Willow and they realized that they’d been in English together the year before. I told Willow that I’d pick her up at her dorm at 6:30. I think things are getting better. She still is keeping her distance though. I think we’ve gone backwards physically… I guess I can’t expect it to be without consequences…

Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:55 pm 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:18 am
Posts: 15
Hopefully the date gets em back on track though I'm partially expecting buffy to take one last shot :/. Willow also needs to take a hedge trimmer to her supposed friend group

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