12 step support for the spoiler-free

[Pixie]

Well, I've been sitting in the audience with my mouth hanging open for the whole Cabaret. Sorry I haven't been able to form coherent thoughts, I was so carried away by everyone's enthusiastic performances. Sharon, the tassles were....mesmerising. Anyway, I have recovered, and am now waiting for the signal to join the Time Warp!

[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited February 24, 2002).]

[Katharyn]

Well since the weekend is over I can only assume that you lot started on the Potato Whisky without me. Here is me stood on stage waiting for someone, anyone to to the timewarp and your all in the bar!

Well never mind... It's just a jump to the left you know, and then a step to the riiiight.

Okay, okay someone pass me a drink.

Kathayrn

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You hear that baby?

[Charlie]

*stamps foot and pouts*

Dang! I missed the caberet! Now you'll all never see me saw Sharon in half and pull Bitofluff out of a hat! That'll teach me... I've been doing an innocent bit of...er... landscape admiring with one of our grass-skirted friends... ahem.

*sheepishly pulls her uniform on and shuffles over to take the wheel... which she's actually got the hang off now*

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“You’re my wife now…” Papa Lazarou
-The League of Gentlemen

[Forrister]

Hey! I am not dressed in this Columbia outfit for nothing!!!

Let's do the Timewarp again!!!
[Dances lots - with a dozen or so dancing girls and the hot chick in the Magenta outfit]

Now - lets break open the Carrington Blush (pink champagne for the uneducated) and all get squiffy!!!!!

Tempus Edax Rerum Nunc est Bibendum!
(Time is the devourer of all things -- now is the time for drinking!)

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:
Hey! [Dances lots - with a dozen or so dancing girls and the hot chick in the Magenta outfit]

---

Does she mean me? She surely does...

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Wolfie]

Hmmm, well a successful cabaret, although we don't seem to have managed a Timewarp all together, have we? So, in the tradition of trying something ambitious and silly, I propose we all do the timewarp ... together-together. At the same time together. All the unspoiled (and spoiled, if they want to?) lovelies, linking virtual arms and pelvic thrusting like the blazes. So, we need a date and a time for an encore of this sort ... Now, I'm not altogether very good at the time thing, but I believe that the most disparate areas to tie together would be the US, Oz and us 'ere in Blighty (and the ensuing mass that is Europe). So, if the US is about 7 hours behind, and OZ is 9 hours in front, that would make our venture ... Very bloody complicated indeed. But are we not the home of live aid? What would Sir Bob have said?

Actually, I'd better not print what Sir Bob would have said, or I'll get smacked by the moderators ()

So, if it's 7am here, I guess it's midnight, or thereabouts in the US, and 4pm in Oz ..? Am I right? Or, as usual - where numbers are involved - hopelessly wrong? I suppose it depends on where in the US/Oz you are ... Why are your countries so flippin' large? Why can't you all be perched on one tiny piece of rock like us? But if I'm right, could we not all log on at the same time, and do the Timewarp again?

I would propose Saturday (ish), to give office-bound kitties a chance to shed the burdon of work, and kiddie-kitties (and, not forgetting the likes of our illustrious and glamorous Captain, teachie-kiddie-kitties) the grind that is school. Whadya think? Insane? Inane? Or in the grand tradition of our enterprise? I think all three, which is good enough for me.

Thoughts. Inferences, please. Pats on the head and concerned expressions while fitting the straight jacket also fine.

So, your task, should you accept it, is to be the only people to sing the Timewarp across whole continents simultaneously. Sounds like a job for the superkitties.

Shout hooray for simultaneous jumpage to the left ...

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[WiccanBex]

how you guys doing in here?

i haven't posted here for a while.. sometimes i think it's easier to avoid spoilers by just not coming here at all...

which is pretty easy for me to do when i'm as busy as i have been... lol.

but i'm back... and looking forward to downloading this week's buffy/angel eps

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"if you throw a stone, something's gonna shatter somewhere. We're all so fragile, we're all so scared."
Convention review site

[Pixie]

I would love to join the time warp round the world. Unfortunately, I will be away this weekend from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon - I'm spending the weekend with about 70 12-year-olds. Yeah, I know, you already think I'm insane. It's actually, fun; draining, but a blast. So, I will not be able to post until Sunday afternoon. If Saturday works for most of the kitties, I can be content with joining you in spirit (and at some point freaking out my kids with some spontaneous jumpage to the left.)

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by WiccanBex:
how you guys doing in here?

---

Hey, welcome back Bex... you missed the Cabaret and it was mighty fine.

*whispers* This is what we are driven to in order to stay spoiler-free... Sad isn't it? But damn good fun...

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[SiWangMu]

:: fingers her guest pass nervously and acquires a drink::

Okay, I hope this is on topic, since this board says spoiler-free and all... (Someday soon, when I have entirely too much time on my hands (I can dream, can't I?) I'd like to read this thread and figure out, you know, what this whole ship thing is, and what fish poo is, etc. The cabaret was lovely.)
I've run into a difficulty in my personal quest to stay away from spoilers...It's mostly failing because I keep going back to this one spoiler site that lists the episodes being broadcast several weeks in advance. I go there because I like to know when there are repeats, and I just like to see the schedule. Then, of course, I end up reading the entire site... if I could just find a non-spoilery site that listed upcoming episodes (and repeats) past a week I could take the spoiler site off my list and just walk away--I think. I hope, anyway. Can anyone help me?

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"I think this line's mostly filler"

"Tara: I do not know in other things concerning everyone, but, the chicken is loved."

[This message has been edited by SiWangMu (edited February 26, 2002).]

[Wolfie]

What you need ... Are twelve steps, to help you get spoiler-free ... Okay, today, I'm going to go for my "what would Bill Hicks have come up with" top twelve things to do, to keep your mind off logging on and reading spoilers.

Disclaimer: If any of you are the following, then you will probably won't want to read this:

A Conservative.
A Nun.
A Liverpool supporter.
Either a lion or a greyhound.
An Animal rights campaigner.
A White Supremacist.
A road protestor.
A traffic copper.
An Arch Deacon of a local Cathederal.
A small child, who has just lost their favourite tricycle.

Here they are:

1) Steal the "rabbit" from a greyhound track.

2) Bare your bottom to a traffic cop. Not really dangerous, as such, but unresistable, nevertheless.

3) Sign up with your local Conservative Party (or, for non-UK kitties, Right-wing, arch-Republican - that sort of thing), remembering to be very enthusiastic while you do so, and turn up to their local meeting, wearing the following: Beret, dark glasses (preferrably the metal-framed ray-ban type), olive drab combat jacket, with lots of communist badges sewn onto it, tee-shirt with a picture of Che Guevara on it. Sit in the meeting without saying a thing. After ten minutes, pull out a grenade, and start idly fiddling with the pin.

4) Find an Animal Rights desk (the kind you see in the street, with shocking pictures of vivisection experiments). Set up a stall next to it, selling "fine fur coats: Mink; Albino Rat; Beagle, etc. Provided by Huntingdon Commercial Fashion Services Ltd".

5) Visit a road protest group (the kind that sit in trees, with a selection of bored-looking coppers milling about beneath them), dressed as ... An "A to Z Street Maps" salesman/woman. Attempt to sell "new, revised" street maps of the area to the protestors.

6) Spray paint anti White Supremacist slogans all over the outside of a National Front or BNP meeting house, then stand slightly back from the front door, with a large, impressive-looking portrait camera on a tripod, and wait for the meeting to end.

7) Wear black, white and red on a Saturday night out in Liverpool.

8) Rather than driving one of the new VW Polo's and wearing Nike Trainers, take close-up photographs of a Lion (in the Savannah, that is) wearing diving flippers, carring a 65 litre backpack filled with breakables, and driving a 1978 registration Yugo. For extra thrills, take off the Yugo's distributor cap, and toss it fifty feet off to the left, into a nearby pack of angry water buffalo's, before you start taking photo's.

9) Drive up to your local catherderal in a transit van, with a sign on the side that reads "Bloggs Demolition". Get out, wearing a hard hat, and sporting a clip board, and walk around the Catherderal, looking up at the steeple, while taking copious notes: Things that show diagrams of various features, with notes that read "dynamite in here" with big, unequivocal arrows.

10) Ride 500 miles on a child's tricycle (preferrably stolen during a birthday party), dressed as a character from Rocky Horror.

11) Smear your naked body with bacon fat, and break into somewhere that has big, scary-looking guard dogs patrolling loose in it.

12) If you do all that, and you still want to read spoilers, I have two suggestions:

a) Hie thee to a monastry, run by a Mother Superior, who is also known as "Big Scary Janet: Mistress of Pain", and be as naughty as you can - have late night orgies, eat chocolate in the chapel, stick half-chewed bubble gum on Scary Janet's seat, drink, belch during mass - you know; be creative

or

b) give up and watch the damn spoilers!

I hope this helps all who are slipping. Now, I'm off to my Latin Caligraphy class, armed with a bottle of Jack Daniels, and some hard core pornography, which I shall be translating into latin.

It's gonna be an interesting day.

L

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[This message has been edited by Wolfie (edited February 27, 2002).]

[Katharyn]

Or alternatively SiWangMu you can just jump onboard the ship... every time you want to look out for spoilers come here and play instead...

And Wolfie you have been thinking about those 12 steps far too much... of course they are very funny so that is ok!

EDITED TO ADD: Kittens... today is the captain's birthday (actually for most of the world it is tomorrow but she is there already and celebrating for two days.) Now being as she is the Captain I am sure that there is some strange ritual to be observed here. If there is I am first in line... after that it's a free for all.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited February 27, 2002).]

[Pixie]

Happy Birthday Captain!! *snaps a salute*

Lieutenant Wolfie, can we arrange a gun-salute or something in honor of the Captain's birthday?

[Wolfie]

We most assuredly can, Pixie, me old mukka! I am planning to load up the trebuchet to fling a truely impressive amount of fish poo in our Captain's honour! It will be a poo salute! Followed by a performance of her choice:

So, Captain-dearest; what would you like your underlings to play as a birthday treat? A play? Songs? A scene from a favourite film? TV program ..? For you: Anything!

Oh, and happy birthday, as well. And much hugs (of course - how could you cope with anything less than a bunch of kitties squeezing you until your eyes popped and your ribs groaned?)

And cake? Who's gonna do the cake? I can't cook cake, so it'll have to be someone else for that.

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[Forrister]

I am really touched by your warm birthday greetings. I have declared it a public holiday and also ordered there to be celbrations for all ranks.

[ Handing out pieces of birthday cake ]

In light of the recent caberet - and the fact that I had a bloody good time doing the Time Warp. I think its time to take that jump to the left. Let's do the Time Warp again!!!!!

Factus sum senior, fueram melior.
(The older I get, the better I was.)

[Pixie]

Oh Captain, my Captain!

Mmmmm, yummy cake!

*sings* and a step to the riiiight.

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:

In light of the recent caberet - and the fact that I had a bloody good time doing the Time Warp. I think its time to take that jump to the left. Let's do the Time Warp again!!!!!

---

And I was hoping for a rendition of Touch Me...

Ah well... it's the thought that counts.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Wolfie]

Let's face it - any of the Rocky Horror songs are spiffing -

- suddenly, an RKO Radio tower appears behind Wolfie. Off to the left, a spotlight appears, and a piano cuts loose a few introductory scales, building up to a slow, sultry number ... Wolfie steps down from the edge of the tower and sings:

Whatever happened to our Captain?
That delicate, satin-draped frame
As it clung to her thigh
Oh, I started to cry ...
'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same ...

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wolfie:
Whatever happened to our Captain?
That delicate, satin-draped frame
As it clung to her thigh
Oh, I started to cry ...
'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same ...

---

Actually she is just away for the weekend... but the visual is nice too.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Hanki]

lol.

i'm probably kinda late (i haven't been able to get on a computer all week) but HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAP'N! hope you had a good 'un! *huggles*

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Hannah's Home -- My Collective Creative Crap

"Thank you Professor Higgins, after one lesson I feel I can speak perfectly."

[Katharyn]

I have the feeling that we are getting soft and far too comfortable... therefore, and no moaning please, I have helped the dancing girls into a rowing boat to return them to the island and let slip the anchor during the night.

We have headed sort of, well thataway, all night so someone who has a clue how to:
a) Navigate and
b) Steer this thing
Better get up here and do their thing...

And you Aussie kittens... you have just a day to go now... be strong don't peek! You have come so far... don't give up now! (1 Step Support for Kangaroo's Ch1 V1)

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?

[Forrister]

Ooooooh, Wolfie - the fishnets suit you mate. Though I'd be careful in those heels aboard ship.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Now that I am finally over the hill I find that the view from up here is quite spectacular. As I am currently garbed in red and black silk satin, I'm also finding it a little breezy up here.

Since the first mate sent home the dancing girls. ( party pooper - I always thought you were a tad jealous.) I suppose we ought to pull ourselves together and sail off into the sunset. Therefore we will be heading west (that was where the sun set last time I checked.)

So all hands on deck - (except for the ones in the rigging and the first mate who is frantically sewing red satin sheet sets for the brig - though why I'll never know.) Anchors Aweigh!!!!!

Consequitur quodcumque petit.
(She obtains whatever she desires.)

[Wolfie]

*Wolfie takes up position on the bow of the ship, enormous red beard (stolen, of course) fluttering in the warm sea breeze, epaulettes shining with lots of medals, looking for all the world like a bluff old cove with a beard you could lose a badger in. He takes a deep breath, and shouts*

Aaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh, me hearties! The oars are in the rollocks, the wind is in the sails (and between my buttocks - sorry for that), the dreadful spindly killerfish are after biting anything soft and peachy they can reach, and there's even a hallibut that's lost it's lips (that must mean Julia Roberts is near). We must awwwaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

*With great savvy and elan (and an unsettling popping sound), he pulls out the larger of his shrimping nets (don't ask - no, really, don't ask where he's been keeping them for the last six months. You don't want to know), just in case the odd sea monster pops by.*

Forward - to adventure, drama, silken-thighed entwinings, more adventure - involving pirate kings, the lick of a cat and as many natives as our tongues can cope with - and finally, acts of wild, heroic posturing at the bow of a ship that's seen more ups and down's than Mad Meg, the village prostitute's knickers!

Awaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Now, where's that consignment of weevil-infested biscuits? I'm hungry.

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[This message has been edited by Wolfie (edited March 04, 2002).]

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:
So all hands on deck - (except for the ones in the rigging and the first mate who is frantically sewing red satin sheet sets for the brig - though why I'll never know.)

---

I'll show you of course... but for now I am all out of fabric... give us you knickers love.

Patchwork satin sheets rule OK!

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Forrister]

If you want them . . . come and get them hun !!!!

Wolfie - I like your style man. Carry on!!!

As for me I'm doing a snoopy dance around the deck because last night the first episode of season 6 just aired here. Woo Hoo!!!!

Decet indulgere puellae!
(Go on, indulge the girl! )

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:
If you want them . . . come and get them hun !!!!

Decet indulgere puellae!
(Go on, indulge the girl! )

---

COMMMINNNG!

Is anyone in 12 step still waiting for S6 now then? Or do we have some BBC/VHS viewers in the UK still holding out? Or some other countries...

Okay tell me later... I have scrounging to accomplish to make my sheets... see you later this week!

*Slams the door of the brig.*

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Charlie]

*flings all her satin panties at the first mate*

I hereby pronounce myself to be one of the stoic heroes soldiering on in spoiler-free innocence. As a poor student Sky is off the cards so I'm just gonna have one huge Buffy fest when the boxsets come out. And d'you know what? Going spoiler-free has actually been easy! All desire to join the hos down there in the spoiler thread has now vanished. After all, what could be better than sitting up here on the poop, wind in our hair, feeding Bitofluff with the weevils Wolfie's picking out of his beard, watching the world go by...?

The hos don't know what they're missing!

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“You’re my wife now…” Papa Lazarou
-The League of Gentlemen

[Katharyn]

*Pokes head out sucking a needle pricked finger*

It does get easier doesn't it Charlie? I was a student when Buffy started here so I had box-set fests to catch up once I started earning and now I survive from week to week... Though really to be truly spoiler free you'd have to abandon the board entirely which none of us are willing to do I think! I can live with the generalisations though - not knowing specifics is good enough for me.

Oh and thanks for the satin panties... They will be put to good use I promise.

*Closes the door once more*

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?

[Wolfie]

Afraid I don't have any silky knickers ...

On a lighter note, yep, it does get easier, doesn't it? I don't have Sky either, so it's the long haul wait for the box sets to come out. Actually, AP2 is out soon, so that'll help alleviate the angst!

Oh, and you can have the whole beard for bitofluff, Charlie - it's detachable!

*hands Charlie weevil-infested beard*

Strangest gift I've ever given, that one

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[Charlie]

*flings Wolfie some silly knickers so's he doesn't feel left out*

Thanks for the beard, hon... Bitofluff's nesting in it. He's been removed from my pocket however, since I don't particularly want weevils running all over me... most unsanitary. Anyone got any ideas about where we could put him to keep him out of Seefer's reach?

Since the dancing girls have been unceremoniously ejected from the ship *pouty sulk* I guess we have to make our own fun. Who's up for baby-oiled Twister?

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“You’re my wife now…” Papa Lazarou
-The League of Gentlemen