12 step support for the spoiler-free

[Katharyn]

quote:

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Originally posted by Hanki:

i don't think i should be here anymore, you lot are corrupting the mind of an innocent young Lt

but it is fun...

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There are just things I want to look at and explore... close up. What is corrupting about that?

And yeah ain't it fun...

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Wolfie]

Will you be wearing a lab coat and goggles? 'Cause that always works for me (mmmm, Scully broke my brain several years back, and I haven't fully recovered. Unfortunately, Sharon's lab coat - yes, she wears one. AND goggles! - is not so much the starched white variety, as the covered in several hundred year's old dirt, from manky documents kind. Still works for me, though.)

Okay, I'm gonna take my sordid mind elsewhere. I'm glad I don't sell spotting scopes or binoculars any more ...

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*Sings*
Oh, you can tell, by the rapture on my face,
That synthetic fur makes for a sensual embrace!

[tommo]

Woo!

Saved from a spoiler-less existence...I have to depart these pages, seeing as I've got a vcd on its way to me with um...er...stuff on it.

Woo!

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"Bitter, party of one. Bitter, party of one." she muttered... ~ Four Months After by Capt. Murdock

[Wolfie]

Huh! Well, I don't care that I've got probably months to go before I get to see Season 6 goodness (or badness). I *sniff* don't mind. I'm doing *sniff* just *gulp* fine, here. Nothin' wrong *SNNNIFFFFF!!*

THIS IS GETTING TO ME!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*deep breath*

Much better now.

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*Sings*
Oh, you can tell, by the rapture on my face,
That synthetic fur makes for a sensual embrace!

[tommo]

Wolfie, if you're really desperate, I could put you in touch with this guy...he's an amazing guy...he does vcds...

But then, that would ruin your spoilerfree existence. Mwahaha.

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"Bitter, party of one. Bitter, party of one." she muttered... ~ Four Months After by Capt. Murdock

[Hanki]

quote:

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Originally posted by tommo:
But then, that would ruin your spoilerfree existence. Mwahaha.

---

but technically, if you're still spolier-free up until you see the eps (by whatever method) you're still spoiler free right??

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Hannah's Home -- My Collective Creative Crap

Help me you bastards, I'm drowning not waving!quote:

[Wolfie]

Tommo, are you trying to corrupt me? I'll have you know, that although I might make an enormous fuss (tantrums, screaming and shouting, stamping feet and pouting and such), I am made of stern stuff - I am, after all, apparently the "most stubborn git I have ever met", according to Sharon. From the mouths of babes! Therefore, I thumb my nose at your goading, and go back to whipping myself.

By the way, what is a vcd ..? I am very, very stupid, where it comes to abbreviations.

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wolfie:
Will you be wearing a lab coat and goggles?

---

I was actually going for the low key "au naturel" kind of styling.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[supermus]

Question for you brave non-spoiledys: If you had an oppurtunity to watch an episode early, say for example you were able to download it, would you take it? I understand you want to be surprised when you see it, but is there anything wrong with making that a little earlier?

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"You made a bear! Undo it! Undo it!"
"Good bye to you/Goodbye to everything that I knew"

[the literary exterminator]

VCD stands for ``Video Compact Disc''. Read more about it here.

[Wolfie]

I believe "au natural" would be effective, Katharyn. Certainly appreciated by our illustrious Captain, methinks

Well, I had a butcher's at the vcd explainy page, but the images (which did say actual size, so I'm taking them at their words) looked kinda small. Now I know my tv is only a portable, and to be honest, that's small enough - trying to watch widescreen is like peering through a letter box, and me squinting at subtitles is something to be experienced, but I'm too skint to buy a bigger one - so, I think I'll wait until the box set comes along, thanks. I've nearly run out of forks to stick in my legs, and I now chink as I walk, but I believe the wait will be worth it - provided I don't keep stumbling across things like "Oh, yeah, when Tara did such-and-such, and Willow said "well, I'm gonna do this, lunch time be damned" in ep 3 of season 6", without SPOILER!! KEEP AWAY!!! written all over them, I shall be okay. It's getting difficult to go anywhere on this board, if you wanna keep blissfully unaware.

Still, I wouldn't be anywhere else. Now, where are those dratted dancing girls? I want the finest girls known to humanity. I want them here, and I want them now!!

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[This message has been edited by Wolfie (edited February 07, 2002).]

[Forrister]

Just to correct a rumour that seems to be going around the ship. I have never laid so much as an indecent finger on the Field Marshall. The whole rumour is a figment of the imagination.

[Imagines that again. . . . . . . .]

Ok, back now.

Gives Wolfie a medal for courage above and beyond the call of duty in resisting the temptations of spoilerdom. Wolfie old mate - take this here telescope and the ship's boat and head ashore. There's a flock of dancing girls on that beach and you deserve a little shore leave. Shore leave for the rest of the crew will commence in a few hours.

Fama volat, et crescit eundo.
(The rumour flies, and grows as it goes.)

[Wolfix]

Okay, no deck sports as yet, but I'm still here, rocking to the wavy rhythm and showing off about my lack of seasickness.

Just don't make me climb any masts! I'm not much for the timber!

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Pen: Will work for money

bored?read me.

[Pixie]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:
Just to correct a rumour that seems to be going around the ship. I have never laid so much as an indecent finger on the Field Marshall. The whole rumour is a figment of the imagination.

[Imagines that again. . . . . . . .]

---

Well, Captain, it seems you have quite the healthy and active imagination.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:
Shore leave for the rest of the crew will commence in a few hours.

---

Shore leave hasn't started yet! Oh no! I left the ship hours ago. Please don't court martial me. Girls, no, stop. I have to go...back...to...my...ship...mmph. Okay, maybe later. *emulates Giles and the succubi from "Buffy vs. Dracula*
quote:quote:

[Forrister]

Don't worry, "time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so!"

For the crew already on shore leave - have a great time!! For the crew not yet on shore leave, what are you waiting for?

Tempus fugit, utrum ludis necne.
(Time flies, whether you're having fun or not.)

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:
Just to correct a rumour that seems to be going around the ship. I have never laid so much as an indecent finger on the Field Marshall. The whole rumour is a figment of the imagination.

---

The indecent finger wasn't on me as I recall. And I do recall it so very well... so the Captain is not fibbing - just hiding behind a technicality. And what she did lay on me was more than a finger... again with the technicalities.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[Forrister]

Ulp !!! Sputter, sputter.

[Katharyn]

quote:

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Originally posted by Forrister:
Ulp !!! Sputter, sputter.

---

As I recall that's what I said when that finger first got indecent.

Katharyn

Edited to add that this is stopping now... the Captain and I have agreed to keep our passion sub rosa. Bit late I know... just know that it is happening... right under your noses.

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You hear that baby?

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited February 07, 2002).]quote:

[Pixie]

quote:

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Originally posted by Katharyn:
just know that it is happening... right under your noses.

---

Hmmm, I thought I smelled something...musky.quote:

[Forrister]

It seems like I am always the last to know whats happening. In light of the latest revelations I am catapulting myself ashore and might spend some time hanging out with Wolfie and that pack of dancing girls.

Wolfie, maaate, fear not - I come supplied with a couple of cases of good Aussie vino. We can throw the crew a big party. But this time someone else will have to handle the Barbeque.

Fuit mulierquae me potare egit. Nunquam steti gradum ad ei gratius agendas.
(It was a woman who drove me to drink. I never stopped to thank her.)

[Wolfie]

*a voice wafts up from a tangle of limbs and grass skirts*

Jump on in, Forrister, the "water's" lovely!

Ignoring the closeness of proximity, I am still advocating the useage of telescopes

I say, this really is the life!!!

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[Katharyn]

Bugrit...

Actually gets off the ship for the first time in many, many stops.

Hey Wolfie, the island is broken! It's not moving beneath my feet, and my ass... you know when I am sitting down...

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?

[This message has been edited by Katharyn (edited February 08, 2002).]

[supermus]

WHEW! Finally you guys are on shore leave so I can pop out of the cargo hold. It's hard being a stowaway! There are rats, and they bite, and they may have rabies.
Edited to add: and Oh yeah, I've been in the cargo hold, so I may or may not smell like fish poo.

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"You made a bear! Undo it! Undo it!"
"Good bye to you/Goodbye to everything that I knew"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited February 08, 2002).]

[Charlie]

*helps Supermus out of the cargo hold and onto deck*

There, there, honey! Fresh air and dancing girls to cheer you up. Don't ever say this ship doesn't take good care of it's stowaways.

*hopes mid-hug Supermus doesn't have rabies*

ABANDON SHIP!!!

Sorry, I just always wanted to say that. What I really meant was DANCING GIRLS!!!

*jumps overboard and swims happily off to shore, armed with chocolate sauce and handcuffs*

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"Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambé..."
- Eddie 'covered in beeeees!' Izzard

[Katharyn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Charlie:
[B*jumps overboard and swims happily off to shore, armed with chocolate sauce and handcuffs*

[/B]

---

I get told off for that sort of comment... but I think that the Captain just thinks her authority is being undermined... when I am under her.

Oh there I go again... As the great man said "Bring on the Dancing Girls!"

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[supermus]

Wow! You guys treat stowaways great! I thought I was going to get shot with the foo-cannon, but instead i get naked dancing girls! Now i must get on with the spying,. Imeanlying! Imean, uh gotta go!

[Katharyn]

quote:

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Originally posted by supermus:
Now i must get on with the spying,. Imeanlying! Imean, uh gotta go!

---

I suggest we bury supermus under the dancing girls and let them wheedle out the truth about these lies and the spying...

And even if there is nothing to it it might be fun for all concerned*S*

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?quote:

[tommo]

*wanders in then stops*

I don't belong here. I just wanted...well...I just wanted some friends...sigh...okay, I'll go...I'm so sorry.

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Sweetie...I'm a fag.

[Pixie]

I just noticed spoiler threads for the next TWO Buffy episodes. I think I'm going through spoiler withdrawal. Yes, I'm starting to get the shakes. It's so tempting, but I want to stay on the unspoiled ship, with the crew, and the brig, and Seefer, and even the fish poo! (okay, maybe that was a little extreme.) Quick, can someone please tell me what some of the 12 steps are?!?! Is there a meeting I can go to? Breathe....okay, I'll...just turn off the computer and go to bed. *feeling a little sweaty (maybe that's just Ruth's jam-fic?) Pixie toddles off*

[Wolfie]

In the interests of Kitty (in)sanity, I propose a reaffirmation of the 12 steps:

1: Lots and lost of hugs. Particularly the kind that makes the huggled kitty's eyes bulge, and a muffled gasp sound from the hugging kitty's armpit. The sign of a good hug - a general warm and fuzzy but dazed look on the face of the recently hugged kitty. If that dazed look ain't there, then you haven't hugged hard enough.

2: The beaten and bloody corpse of Ned Sherin.

3: Chocolate sauce. Lots and lots of chocolate sauce. Applied liberally.

4: More hugs (just in case the hugged kitty is already getting their breath back).

5: The beaten and bloody corpse of Barry Cryer.

6: Lots of puddings. Of many varieties. With what's left of the chocolate sauce.

7: Our own Willow and Tara to play with. (Okay, so, I've figured this one out: We can't steal Willow/Aly and Tara/Amber from our dimension, 'cause there'd be no more Buffy goodness to watch - let's face it, we'd never EVER give 'em back - so, we need to locate a portal to another dimension, slip through, nab them both, and then haul 'em back here for fun and frolics. So, who do we want? Willow and Tara, or Aly and Amber?)

8: The untimely destruction of the whole of Radio 4 (with the exception of test match special - so the untimely death of Radio 4 FM, then): The Archers: Poof - gone in a puff of greasy, orange smoke. The various, extraordinarily pretentious arts programs - vwap! The pointless and dreadfully dogmatic political debates that never ever tell us anything, except that anyone who wants to become a politician, or a political interviewer, should be tied up, bludgeoned with a blunt instrument, stuffed unceremoniously into a large sack, and thrown into the Mersey - kasplosh! The afternoon play - whoosh - tinkle tinkle! All those smug, self-satisfied so-called panel games, where a bunch of Cambridge egits vomit up amusing plays on words to show each other just how clever they all really are - KABLAM!!!! Desert Island Discs (sorry Sharon, but this has to go, too) - splat! Whoops - although test match special has been spared, I just noticed Blowers hasn't - he's just got run over by the no 10 from Garboldersham - Thud!!

9: Hugs. The kind that, when you stumble away from it, you are amazed that your head didn't just pop, but you are also filled with just the fuzziest and cuddliest sensation, that you just have to return.

10: Deference and much devotion to the Captain. Not to mention hugs (did I mention hugs? They are vital).

11: A new radio station that plays whole albums by Frank Zappa, Fugazi, JJ72 (their bassist is a foxy chick, and their songs are so cute - there's even one called Willow), The God Machine, Jeff Buckley, The Manic's, Jane's Addiction, SRV, and many, many more, in between episodes of The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Presented by Willow and Tara (another Willow and Tara - 'cause Joss ain't gonna give up his, and we won't give up OURS, when we've found them).

12: Fun and much giggling. And things that cause fun and much giggling. Whether that is innocuous, or very, very naughty, because both have their place on this ship, I feel.

Now, when you've completed all of those things, you will find that you've completely forgotten spoilers. Give it a go. I'm off to Radio 4 now, armed with a kill-o-zap ray gun, and some dancing shoes (to help me dance on the smoking ashes of what's left after I've finished with the buggers).

Note: Should hands be allowed to find new places during hugs? Hmmm, well, my thoughts are this: If the huggled kitty allows, and if their butt is the right consistency of squishiness (to your own taste, of course), then okay. General rule of thumb: If the squeezed-out gasp suddenly turns into a surprised squeak, then either you've possibly gone too far, or you should have picked a time when curry wasn't on the menu the previous night

Additional note: I appreciate that some of you have no idea who Ned Sherin is. You lucky, lucky kitties. May your ears never be sullied by insufferable windbags of that sort. If you don't know what Radio 4 is, then let me explain. It was exactly the kind of thing Ripper would have rebelled from, and despised with every fibre of his being. Has the kind of listener to whom modernity is something to smile patronisingly at, and knowing little smirks are just a way of life, rather than something that justifies a good slapping. An example of a Radio 4 listener: My Father. Bizarrely, he also hates Ned Sherin. Work that one out.

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[This message has been edited by Wolfie (edited February 11, 2002).]