Author: jadeo0
Rating: R, just the beginning.
Spoilers: Up to Family.
Summary: A deeper (slightly, not really) look into what went on during Tara's 20th birthday.
Pairings: W/T
Feedback: Yes, please!
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, it belongs to the genius of Joss Whedon (but then again, what genius would kill Tara?). Also, most of the lines in the story were taken from http://www.buffyworld.com's script.
Note: This story has been sitting on my computer for a month now, and it's definitely not that good. Just had to finish it up and get rid of it.
Show Me Your Colours
“Oh, Willow!” Tara arched her back, hips bucking off the bed as she came. Her breath came in short gasps; her skin was slick with sweat. And Willow’s mouth was still firmly attached to her center, lapping up the remaining juices that continued to seep out. The redhead withdrew her fingers from Tara and licked them, sucking out every bit of moisture that her tongue could find.
“I love you, baby.” Willow gathered her girlfriend to her, the clash of their hot flesh immediately tempting them to revisit the Willow/Tara World of Sexual Loving, or as Tara had lovingly named it in one of her hesitant jokes, WtraWSex. She hadn’t gotten the joke at first, but after writing it down, Willow had discovered that there were many hidden jokes within. Tara hardly ever joked at all, and when she tried, her puns were so deeply hidden that the Scoobies would never really get them. It didn’t do much for the blonde’s already low self-confidence though, and that was never good.
Sometimes, Willow couldn’t help but feel sorry for Tara and her lack of self-esteem. The blonde was the most amazing woman she had ever met. She didn’t know it herself, but there was such a love and warmth that pulsed in her aura, filling those around her with peace and clarity. Why couldn’t Tara see how wonderful she was?
You cast your spell over me
They’d met at the Wicca meeting, and even then, Willow had felt that undeniable spark of attraction, like she was all of a sudden under the thrall of a supernatural force, drawing her to the shy girl that had sat across from her.
Later, she had realized that it wasn’t a supernatural force at all, but her own heart, telling her that Tara was the one. She wasn’t under a spell that was making her love Tara though, oh no. She was under the spell of love.
Don't know where to turn to anymore
She couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if Tara were to leave. Or die. Tara was the single person that she could, and would trust with her deepest, darkest secrets. When Willow was around the blonde, she didn’t feel scared or embarrassed; just loved. Around Tara, Willow never had to worry that what she was saying didn’t make sense. What would happen if Tara were taken away from her down the road? She would be so lost. Tara was her rock, her light, her balance.
I see your face
Every morning when I wake up
Every night when I go to bed
Willow never tired if seeing Tara’s face. It was an angelic one. Every day would start and end with a kiss, sometimes gentle, sometimes smoldering with unbound passion.
You're here with me
It was a pleasure to be close to Tara. Her presence was something that was missed immediately upon separation. Willow felt honoured to have Tara so close you her, but Tara never realized that. The blonde always assumed that everyone else was just being nice to have her around.
Somehow, don't know how
I can feel you right now
So close, so real
But right now, Willow relished the fact that Tara lay in her arms. If there was one thing she could be thankful for, it was her girlfriend. Almost reverently, she stroked Tara’s cheek. “I love you,” she purred,” you know that, right?”
“Thank you, Willow,” Tara sighed, “for l-loving me.”
Do, do-do, do-do
Show me your colours
Willow felt so much pain for the blonde. Tara was a vault of treasures; a locked vault of treasures. She kept her heart under lock and key, and even now, she was just beginning to open it up. Tara was afraid to love, but wanting to love all at the same time. My poor Kitten. Willow nuzzled Tara’s neck. “You’re what I should be thankful for, baby.”
Show me
Show me your colours
Tara always seemed to want to hide away, to be unnoticed. And Willow couldn’t help but see that the blonde definitely was hiding something. Before, it hadn’t been as discerning of a feature, but as her birthday grew closer, Tara seemed to get more antsy. Tara was scared; of something.
Show me
Don't break this spell I'm in
Please don't break my heart
Willow couldn’t help but be scared of what she didn’t know. What was Tara so afraid of? Lately, Willow could even sense the fear oozing off of the blonde…and she was frightened by it. Tara had a dark secret, and Willow suspected that it had something to do with her past.
Show me
Show me your colours, baby
Tell me who you really are
“Tara, is there something wrong?”
~*~
I know you want what I want
Far away, but still within our reach
Do you dare?
“There is definitely something going on here, and Detective Willow is going to find out exactly what that is,” Willow thought aloud on the way back to her dorm. “Tara’s family shows up, and instead of being all happy-happy, my baby’s looking all saddy-saddy. Detective Willow knows something’s up.” She turned the knob and opened the door. “Hey.”
Tara was facing away from Willow, seemingly lost in thought, but turned when she heard the redhead’s voice. “Hey,” she answered.
“Was dinner fun?” No sense in ruining a good mood.
Tara nodded.
Tell her about the meeting, Willow. “Well, there’s Scoobyage afoot. Giles called a meeting about our spankin’ new menace.” Maybe this would get Tara’s mind off of whatever was bothering her.
But the blonde didn’t seem particularly happy with the news. But then again, Scoobyage was never really happy. “Oh, y-you should go, they don’t need me for that. You can fill me in.”
Willow cocked her head to the side and began to walk towards Tara. “No, no, you have to come.” Tara had to get out of the room, take a walk outside or something, clear her mind. And Willow didn’t really want to be away from her girlfriend right now, especially when she was looking so lost and afraid. “This demon chick is supposed to be really powerful, and I was thinking. Maybe we could try that spell, you know, the one to find the demons?”
“That didn’t work.” Tara crossed her arms.
“Yeah, but we only tried it once.” Her attempt at trying to help her girl to fit in was not working. C’mon Tara, just work with me here. “And I-I think I got some ingredients wrong.”
“Well, I-I’m tired.” Tara felt bad for saying that; Willow could see it in her eyes. Maybe she just wanted to be left alone. But no! Willow was her girlfriend, her lover. She had an obligation to be there for Tara whether or not she wanted it!
“You sure you don’t wanna – “
“Look, my family’s here, ok?” It was the closest Tara had ever come to snapping, and if possible, she looked even guiltier than before. “Not everything is about your friends and stuff.”
Now that hurt. And this time, Willow couldn’t keep up her happy face. She was hurt, and she had to show it, if only a little. “Sorry.” She began to back away. It was a fact now: Tara needed some time to herself. Her baby was all stressed out, and as much as she wanted to help, it was obvious that she couldn’t.
“No!” Tara called after her, perhaps trying to put a band-aid the situation. “No, I mean…there’s just so much…going on.” Willow turned back. Perhaps she was getting an explanation after all. “It’s just…I’m, I’m really tired.”
Or not. Willow nodded. “Okay.” Tell me when you’re ready.
“I’ll see you in the morning, you can fill me in.”
“Great.” Willow smiled, not wanting to beat Tara down any further than she already seemed to be. “We’ll be demon hunters.” When she had safely closed the door behind her, Willow allowed the frown she had been hiding to surface.
Are you brave enough to show me
Tell me what’s wrong, baby…Why was Tara so afraid? Willow could see that the blonde was trying to tell her something, she could see it in her eyes. Whatever Tara was feeling would be conveyed through her eyes. She didn’t have to say “I love you” for Willow to know it; her eyes told all.
What your heart really wants to
But then, what did Tara want to say? There was that potential dark secret that she was hiding, but Willow wouldn’t push if Tara didn’t want her to. She loved her, and with love came respect for her privacy.
I say your name to myself out loud
Wanna have you all around
“Tara.” The name was beautiful, perfectly fitting for the blonde. She was a tower, just like her Celtic name said; a strong fortress where all that were in need could run. But as her suspicions had been confirmed, Tara was different, at least at the moment. She was no tower of refuge. Tara was pushing Willow away; but then again, just like a fortress, alone in it’s solemn beauty.
Like a cover for the cold on the outside
Making love in the candlelight
Willow was scared. What secret did Tara have, and would it affect them? If and when the enigma was revealed…would they still be able to be together? When this was all over, would they be able to love each other as much as they had before?
Do, do-do, do-do
Show me
Show me your colours
Show me
Tara needed to tell Willow what was wrong. It broke the redhead’s heart to see her love so distressed and unsure. One second she would be trying to say something important, just to have that momentary openness be pushed right back down by her shyness. Just like now…why couldn’t she trust her lover with this fear? Willow would have made it all better again…
Don't break this spell I'm in
Please don't break my heart
Now just outside the Magic Box, Willow wondered if giving Tara time alone was the best decision she could have made. Would a little more prodding have been the key to helping the blonde to tell Willow what was bothering her? Had she made the wrong choice? What if Tara was scared enough to run away? If Willow had been there, would she have been able to prevent it? Once again, Willow was scared, as she seemed to be so much lately. The fear in Tara was rubbing off on her, so closely were they connected.
Show me
Show me your colours, baby
Tell me who you really are
After the Scoobie meeting, Willow would go back to Tara, and by any means, she would find out what was bothering her baby. “Just after this meeting…”
~*~
“Blind Cadria, lift your veil. Give evil form and break my spell.” Tara panted, staring frantically at the demon that was rushing towards her. Luckily for the blonde, she got off with just a blow to the face, sending her crashing to the floor. But still the demon hovered over her, ready to deliver the fatal clout. Willow tried to run over, do anything to keep the demon from hurting Tara anymore, but couldn’t seem to will her legs to move fast enough.
“Tara!” It was her father, who’d just stormed into the Magic Box along with the rest of the witch’s family.
The demon looked up, giving Buffy the split second to give the monster an introduction to “Enter the Slayer.” The monster was sprawled across the stairs of the shop, and as a shocked Mr. Maclay looked on, Buffy snapped its neck with a firm stomp of her heel.
“What in God’s name is that?” he exclaimed, losing his footing on a rug. Willow, who’d stopped moving when she’d realized that Tara was responsible for the spell, saw the blonde’s noticeable flinch at the words, as if they had been directed towards her.
“Lei-ach demon.” Willow gazed at Spike, who’d come in through the back room. “Fun little buggers. Big with the marrow-sucking.”
Tara’s father got up noisily, dusting off his coat. “I don’t understand.” He stared expectantly at Tara, his eyes accusing her of some unfathomable sin.
“I’m not sure I do either.” Buffy, arms crossed, also faced the blonde. Willow’s heart wrenched as she felt Tara’s fear flowing off of her. Her baby was so nervous and worried!
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Tara looked down, her hair falling in front of her face. “I’m s-s-so sorry. I was, I was trying to hide.” The Wiccan’s lip quivered, and Willow could imagine the silent tears streaming down her face. And that was it; the redhead couldn’t take anymore suffering from her lover. She walked over, kneeling down to gaze into the distressed blonde’s eyes. But Tara looked away. “I didn’t want you to see…what I am.”
Baby
Don't tell me I mean nothing
After all you did
“Tara, what?” Willow’s mind was a blur of thought. Tara was Tara – who else could she be?
“What do you mean ‘what you are’?” Buffy questioned. Willow felt relieved to know that she wasn’t the only one that was completely and utterly confused at the moment.
Tara began to answer, but her father beat her to the punch. “Demon. The women in our family…” Willow stared wide-eyed at the man, unable to believe what he was saying “…have demon in them. Her mother had it. That’s where the magick comes from.” He delivered the ultimatum with an arrogant dignity, as if he knew what was going to happen next.
Willow couldn’t believe the amount of conceit this man held for himself, and how he seemed so pleased to be able to hurt his own daughter – but she couldn’t help but feel betrayed. Why hadn’t Tara told her this?
“We came to take her home before…” he heaved his shoulders up, dropping them back down in another condescending gesture, “well, before things like this started happening.” The older man pointed at the dead demon, shaking his head, all the while maintaining a cruel connection with his daughter’s eyes. Willow hated this man more and more every second he remained in the room, nay – every second he remained in her lover’s life, haunting her steps.
“You cast a spell on us, to keep us from seeing your demon side.” Giles’ clarification came out more as a question, another check in Willow’s mind that nobody had seen this coming.
“Nearly got us killed,” Buffy pointed out. Willow could see why Buffy was upset – they’d all nearly been killed because of the spell. But then again, if Tara hadn’t come in at all, if she hadn’t come back, they would be dead right now. And she loved Tara even more for that.
But Buffy’s words had shattered Tara’s remaining shreds of hope in still being accepted. “I’ll go.” She scrambled to her feet – holding back tears, Willow noticed – and began to make her way towards her so-called family. “I’m very sorry.”
“Wait!” Willow jumped forward, grabbing the blonde’s arm. “Go?” She couldn’t just let Tara walk out the door; she loved her much more than that. Sure, she’d done something horribly wrong, and if she was a demon then they’d have to take steps to make sure everything would still be manageable…but go?
“That’s not the point and it’s not your concern. She belongs with us,” Tara’s father said stiffly. He stuck up his nose. “We know how to control her…problem.”
Baby, don't you tell me
Tell me I mean nothing
Tell me I mean nothing to you
Tara looked away and began to move again, but Willow held on tighter. “Tara…look at me.” The redhead’s eyes were tense, trying to hold back her tears. “I-I trusted you more than anyone in my life. Was all that just a lie?”
“No!” The shy Wiccan looked as if she’d been slapped in the face.
Please show me now
A small flower of hope began to bud ever so carefully within Willow. “Well, do you wanna leave?” All she wanted was to reach out and touch the blonde…
“That’s not your decision, young lady.”
“I know!” Willow growled, snapping her head towards the man. But the anger that she felt for Tara’s father was replaced by sadness and desperation as she turned back to her lover. “Do you wanna leave?” she asked quietly.
Show me
Show me your colours
Show me
Tara slowly shook her head, blinking back the steady flow of tears threatening to burst out. And Willow loved her witch even more.
“You’re going to do what’s right, Tara,” her father raised his voice, the threat coming through loud and clear. “Now, I’m taking you out of here before someone does get killed.” He turned to leave, beckoning the rest of the Maclays – including Tara – to follow him. Tara, despite her unwillingness, was unable to overcome her upbringing and disobey her father, beginning to walk after him, head hanging. None of the Scoobies missed her body language, punctuated by her quiet sniffling – she didn’t want to go. But her father didn’t care. “The girl belongs with her family. I hope that’s clear to the rest of you.”
Don't break this spell I'm in
Please don't break my heart
Willow stared anxiously at Tara. Would she just walk out of the shop a-and leave their love behind? Please, baby…stay.
“It is.” Buffy had spoken, arms crossed, head cocked to the side. She glanced nonchalantly at Tara. “You want her, Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her.” Tara hung her head, as did Willow. They both knew that if they didn’t have Buffy’s support in this, their efforts were in vain. “You just gotta go through me.” Now isn’t this a night of surprises…Willow smiled. Her best friend had come through after all. Buffy’s firm contradiction to Mr. Maclay’s orders seemed to have had an effect on everybody else in the room. Tara lifted her head, her eyes now shining with happy tears. All the other Scoobies stood up taller, as if daring the Maclays to try to take their Tara away from them.
Show me
“What?” Now it was Tara’s father’s turn to get the proverbial “slap in the face.”
“You heard me,” Buffy narrowed her eyes, stepping forward. “You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.”
“A-and me!” Dawn piped up, walking across the shop to stand beside her sister.
“Is this a joke?” Tara’s father strode forward menacingly. “I’m not going to be threatened by two little girls.”
Dawn stood her ground. “You don’t wanna mess with us.”
“She’s a hair-puller,” Buffy added, pointing at the taller girl.
“And you’re not just dealing with, uh, two little girls,” Giles stated carefully. He shoved his glasses onto the rim of his nose. Normally, he would take a neutral position in such a feud, but this man simply infuriated him.
“You’re dealing with all of us,” said Xander. Tara smiled, Willow grinned – life was happy. Tara was going to stay! Yay!
“’Cept me,” muttered Spike off-handedly.
“’Cept Spike,” Xander affirmed.
“I don’t care what happens.” The vampire leaned on the door post.
“This is insane,” Mr. Maclay protested. It was obvious to everyone that his stand was in vain. The Maclays had lost. “You people have no right to interfere with Tara’s affairs. We are her blood kin! Who the hell are you?”
Show me your colours, baby
Tell me who you really are
“We’re family.”
Tara’s tears were no longer tears of worry, but tears of happiness. As she held Willow’s gaze, she communicated the start of her new life with the repetition of Buffy’s words. Family. We’re family.
~*~
I'm not allowed to adore you
The way you know I really want
“My dance?” Willow held out her hand to Tara and gently led her out to the dance floor. Normally, they wouldn’t do this out in the open, but tonight was a special occasion. Tonight was Tara’s 20th birthday. And even though all they were doing was dancing – slow, nice comfy dancing too – Willow planned to celebrate the occasion with Tara in a much more sensual way later in the night.
But I do
But then again, no sense in not trying to leave right now. Can we leave soon?
Wouldn’t that be r-rude? Tara smiled, knowing what her lover wanted to do.
Even if I promise you a night full of WtraWSex? There were always things that Willow could say to get her Tara to give in.
Tempting, sweetie, but not yet. W-we should stay until the end of the party.
But – oh fine. Willow smiled. Her darling was always thinking about everyone else. And it was true, the party had taken a bit of work to arrange. But the smile that she had received for her efforts was the best thanks Willow could have asked for. “Good birthday?”
“Best birthday,” Tara replied. She smiled again. So many things were different now. She wasn’t a demon – she was a human. It made her so happy and so much surer of herself, that she wasn’t evil. She was just her.
Even though it's been a nightmare
To pretend that it's all alright
“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me about your family and all that.” Tara’s secret really had been quite devastating at first. The thought that her lover was a demon had set alight a flame of fear – if only a small one – inside her. And Tara’s family was evil. Absolutely evil. Evil as in deserving of death by arm-biting horses evil.
“I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from you wouldn’t wanna be anywhere near me.”
“See, that’s where you’re a dummy. I think about…what you grew up with, and…then I look at what you are…it makes me proud.” Willow smiled. Tears were on the verge of falling, so great was her love for Tara. “It make me love you more.” More.
“Every time I –“ Tara paused, searching for the right combination of words. Willow’s words had touched her so deeply. She was safe here. Always safe. “Even when I’m at my worst…you always make me feel special.” Her voice cracked with the height of emotion she knew they were both feeling. “How do you do that?”
It's not the easiest thing to avoid
Damage is already done
I'm in love
With you
“Magick,” Willow whispered. She drew Tara closer into her arms, no longer moving to the rhythm of the music, but just holding her. Holding.
~*~
“An, stop it!” Xander desperately tried to dissuade his girlfriend from her destination – Willow and Tara’s dorm room. “You know what they’re most likely doing in there.”
“Exactly! The whole point to this is showing you what you should do for me on my birthday! So watch carefully…”
A long moan sounded from behind the door, followed by a loud cry. “Tara!”
Xander chuckled. “Well, guess that means I’ll be looking forward to your birthday too then.” He began to make his way back to the car.
“Hey wait!” Anya ran after him. “It’s Tara birthday! Shouldn’t Willow be pleasuring Tara? I mean, it’s her birthday for heaven’s sakes.” Anya’s protests were soon drowned out, as Willow’s keens and moans were heard throughout the whole building.
Merry Christmas, Kittens.
jess
If it first you do succeed, just try not to look so surprised.
