by xita » Mon Jan 28, 2002 8:45 pm
by mollyig » Tue Jan 29, 2002 2:13 am
I think you have a great grasp of the characters, and you're portraying them really well.
Looking forward to more of this!
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Now that I know there's something to know, I can't *not* know, just because I'm afraid
somebody'll know I know, you know?
by ForeverPiper » Tue Jan 29, 2002 3:31 am
by Rane » Tue Jan 29, 2002 3:34 am
quote:
Originally posted by xita:
Canadian Kitty, something is wrong with your fonts, I have changed them in the first 2 parts and I will do so in the third part. Do you know what could be causing this problem, I see weird characters where things like " should be. Could it be you are writing these, including your replies in WORD then pasting? If so save as text and then paste, that should solve your problems. I wrote you a letter about it but I got no reply.
she uses a mac. does that have anything to do with it? when i beta-ed it was in word and i may have messed it up. sorry!
by canadian kitty » Tue Jan 29, 2002 12:22 pm
Now excuse me while I go ritually burn the PC fliers I received in the mail today to pay homage to the G4 god.
by canadian kitty » Tue Jan 29, 2002 3:40 pm
Pixie, Mini-Alf, Foreverpiper and mollyig: thank you and enjoy!
Garner: thanks for your feedback. You've caught me. I prefer writting scenes with action and character banter over scenes that deal with character's thoughts. I just find them more fun. Rane tried, she really did. She'd slip in her red colored fonts and suggest I add Tara thoughts here and Willow thoughts there but, well what can i say.
Jae: Yeah, Canadian pride. yup that was it. it had absolutely nothing to do with me being unable to come up with something more original. nope.
Anyway, here's tonights chapter. Enjoy.
Title: Reunited
Rating: PG
Couples: W/T
Spoilers: Oh yeah, right up to Gone. If you're trying to stay clean then flee! Flee now!
Notes: Willow and Tara are the main focus of this story, however I tried to write it as I thought it might play out on the show (Pffff! Listen to me. As if this piece of crud will ever even remotely resemble the brilliant plot twists Josh has planned for us this season) so all main characters have their scenes. Think of it as a W/T centric episode with all those annoying filler scenes revolving around the other, less important characters, as sandwich breaks.
Archiving: Umm, ok. But asked first.
Feedback: Sure. Take special care to point out all the plot holes and dumbass mistakes. Although I think Rane has saved me from most of the impending embarrassment.
Copyright: In the fantasy world in which I spend most of my time BTVS, all its characters, spin-offs, comic books, animated series, merchandise, etc, are mine all mine. But in the real world, a place I rarely visit, they belong to some guy called Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: I am way too long-winded to sum up this story in a few lines.
Thanks: I humbly bow to my magnificent beta reader Rane, without whom this story would certainly never have been written, let alone posted. Oh great Weevil Faerie Otter Princess I know you and Ruth share a miraculous love but, marry me?
Part 4
Things started out well. Willows initial trepidation about patrolling began to evaporate as the familiarity of the old routine washed over her. Tara walked ahead of the redhead with Buffy and Anya, the three of them chatting softly. At first Willow had been a little disappointed that Tara hadn't chosen to walk with her but then she'd reminded herself that she had no right to be disappointed. She'd lost that right the moment she'd cast the spell on Tara. Despite the occasional smile and kind word, Willow could tell that Tara was far from forgiving or trusting her. 'Really,' she thought, 'I should be thankful to even be here, walking behind her. Which is probably more than I deserve, what with the view and all.' She smiled at this last thought while her eyes took in the sight before her.
"Uh, Will. Drool really isn't a good look for you. Very dribbly." chided Xander from beside her as he shifted his crossbow to his other hand.
"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking" Willow said, trying unsuccessfully to cover.
"We both have the same view here Will and it's not very conducive to heavy thinking. Heavy breathing maybe but-"
"Excuse me, but are you checking out Tara's butt?" demanded Willow. "Cause if you are I may have to draw it to the attention of a certain ex-demon." She pointed at Anya with her sword.
"No! I mean I was looking at Anya, but then there was Tara, and BuffÉ not that I was comparing or anything, causeÉ. their all veryÉ. Hey, look!" Xander chuckled nervously, and shot ahead of the group. "A gravestone!"
Everyone except Willow gave him a puzzled look.
"Yeah, a gravestone in a graveyard. What are the odds", said Buffy sarcastically. Further mocking was cut short by a large headstone flying over Buffy's head, narrowly missing the Slayer.
The group swung round to see three Sub'ordii demons rushing at them. They were quicker than their size would have indicated and one plowed into Buffy before she could get out of its way. They both toppled over a tombstone and started trading blows. The other two Sub'ordii attacked the rest of the group.
Xander aimed his crossbow but before he could fire it was swatted out of his hand by one of the demons. Xander jerked backwards as the demon swiped at him with his claws but wasn't quick enough to avoid its backhand, and was sent flying into a nearby crypt. The demon moved in for the kill but was interrupted by Anya repeatedly slamming her mace into its back. "Hey! Claws off the fiancŽ!" she yelled.
Willow rushed to Tara's side as the third demon charged, pushing her out of its path. Willow managed to throw herself out of the demon's way just as it stormed by. She landed on her side but was up quickly. Tara was slower regaining her feet and Willow looked over to see the demon grabbing Tara by the throat and lifting her off the ground. She raised her sword and charged.
Buffy was starting to get pissed. The demon was strong and it was annoying. 'I'm gonna break a nail on this one,' she silently fumed. She shoved the demon off her and got to her feet. As the demon stood she delivered three kicks to its midsection causing it to stagger under the blows. She spotted Xander's discarded crossbow and lunged for it.
Willow brought her sword down across the demon's back. Only to have it bounce off. The demon dropped Tara to the ground, where she lay trying to catch her breath, and slowly turned towards Willow, growling.
Willow stared stunned at her sword for a moment and then looked up at the demon "Well now," she said nervously, "you see, that just isn't fair. Scaly, amour-like skin is definitely and unfair advantage and you should, uh, let me kill you to make up for it." Willow stated logically. The demon's huge arm swung through the air and connected with Willow's face, launching her backwards into the bushes.
"Willow!", screamed Tara hoarsely.
The demon turned back towards Tara but she was ready for it. Swiftly she delivered a hard kick between its legs, praying to the Goddess that it was a boy demon and that its parts were in the right place. A look of pure agony crossed the demon's brutish face and it doubled over in pain. Tara recited a quick spell and sent the demon flying towards a stone statue.
Willow worked to detract herself from the bushes. She stood wobbly and grabbed her sword, preparing to re-engage. That's when she felt it.
Energy surged through her; magic filled her every fiber. 'What's going on! I didn't call this. Where is it coming from! Tara!' , her mind screamed, panic and fear seizing her. She was vaguely aware of a hand on her back but as more magic flooded into her body that and all other thoughts were swept away.
Tara watched the demon slam into the statue and then scrambled to her feet to help Willow. That's when she sensed it. The air crackled with energy and Tara could feel magic being summoned. For an instant she thought she heard Willow call out for her but then the hum of magic drowned out all other sounds. Something tingled at the edge of her senses, something foreign, but in an instant it was gone.
Tara would always remember what happened next as if it had occurred in slow motion. She started to run towards the bushes, towards Willow, but then stopped, frozen in place by what she saw. Willow hovered just above the ground, eyes black, hand's crackling with energy.
"Willow", whispered Tara in disbelief, her nightmare a reality before her. "Please don't", she begged, hoping Willow would hear her.
But Willow was beyond hearing. Magic coursed through her veins. And it felt good. 'Why was I fighting something this good?', she questioned, lost in a dreamlike state. She noticed the demons attaching her friends and rage surged in her. Willow flew forward; arms spread wide, and uttered one word.
"Flagrare!"
Instantly the three demons burst into flames, their screams pierced the night. Xander and Anya jumped away from the demon they had been fighting and Buffy threw herself behind a gravestone as her demon went up in flames. Within seconds there were only ashes remaining.
Tara stood stunned, her brain still not fully understanding what had just happened. But her heart knew, and it was breaking.
Willow was beyond bliss. She drifted down to the ground, a giggle issuing from her mouth as she touched down. Red tendrils of energy still rippled from her hands and her eyes remained black. "Well that was pretty cool. Demons went poof!"
"Willow what did you do?" asked Buffy as she stepped next to Tara. Xander and Anya hung back, not sure what to do.
"I poofed the demons for you. I mean it's not like you were making any headway in that department. So, you knowÉ"
"Willow, you used magic", Tara said evenly, coming out of her shock.
"I saved your life! God, I mean IÉ can't you at least acknowledge that!" Willow yelled at the blonde, becoming agitated.
"Take it easy Will." Buffy soothed "We justÉ"
"No! I'm not just your little sidekick anymore Buffy. I won't be!" screamed Willow. Energy cracked from her hands and her eyes darted frantically around the graveyard as if seeking escape. She took a step back.
"Willow" Tara said calmly "Willow look at me."
Willows eyes obeyed, her gaze coming to rest on the blond. The rest of the world dissolved and there was only she and Tara.
"Willow, it's ok. It's Tara. Everything's ok. We know what you did for us. Please, just calm down and let me take you back to the house, to our room."
"Our room?" asked Willow in a voice that was suddenly childlike. Magic swirled through her body, fogging up her mind. It was making it hard to think. But Tara's' words were gently cutting through that fog, pushing the magic to the side. 'It's ok. Everything's ok. Tara said it was.'
"Yes, our room. So I can take care of you"
"Yeah, come on Will", Buffy said as she stepped forward and placed her hand on Willows arm.
"Buffy don't!" yelled Tara. But it was too late. Willow, jolted from her Taraworld, recoiled. "Get off me!" she screamed and swept her hand through the air. Buffy and Tara were blown backwards, landing together in a heap on the ground. Xander and Anya were immediately at their side helping them up.
Xander turned to Willow "Will what to hell are you doing?" He shouted louder than he'd intended, but things were getting out of hand.
"IÉ. Oh god. Oh god." Willow whimpered as the realization of what she'd just done crept over her. She backed away, stopping when her back met the crypt. All color had drained from her face and she stared terrified at the group.
The group stared back at Willow, unsure what to say or do. A tear escaped from Tara's eye, rolling down her cheek. Willow had used magic on her again. But this time the result had been different. It had been physical. Unbidden memories of her life before college, before Willow, flooded her thoughts. 'This isn't happening. This is not my Willow!'
"Will", Buffy ventured, taking a cautious step forward. Despite what had just happened it was clear that Willow was in pain and shock over what she'd done and Buffy wanted to make it better.
"No" Willow sobbed. Her voice was less frantic now but was still filled with fear and anguish. "Don't come near me. Please. IÉcan't control it. I'll hurt you." Tears were streaming down her face as she edged passed the crypt.
"Willow, wait". Tara called out. "Let me help you."
Willow locked eyes with Tara. "Please, stay away from me. I've hurt you enough." And with that she turned and ran into the night.
Buffy stepped next to Tara, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Tara." The blond turned her tear-streaked face towards the slayer. "I'll follow her, make sure she's safe. You head back to the house with Xander and Anya. I'll meet you there later, ok."
Tara managed to nod her head and utter an ok before Anya wrapped a comforting arm around her waist and began to escort her to the Summers residence. Xander scooped up his crossbow and followed close behind. Buffy turned and headed in the direction Willow had fled.
From the bushes Rack smiled. "That went better than I'd hoped." He'd given Strawberry and extra dose just to be sure and that had been a lucky thing. The blond had almost ruined everything. "Love to stay and gloat but I've got things to steal." Rack whispered a spell and disappeared.
Suddenly Tara stopped walking, causing Xander to collide with her. "Whoa there Tara. Sorry about that." Tara didn't respond. Instead she turned back towards the area they had just left and walked towards it.
"Umm Tara? I'm not really that great with directions but I'm fairly certain we just came from there" stated Xander as he and Anya followed Tara.
"Yes that's very true", observed Anya. "Once, when we were on our way camping Xander got us hopelessly lost. But because of testosterone we were unable to stop and ask for directions. Apparently it affects the human male's ability to speak to strangers while driving a vehicle. Consequentially we had to sleep in the car and let me tell you having sex in a car as small as Xander's isÉ"
"An, some other time", begged Xander.
Tara stopped nearby the bushes Willow had fallen into. The tingle was back. Like before it was faint but it had been enough to set of Tara's alarms. She looked around, half expecting Willow to immerge from the shadows. But Willow didn't and the tingle slowly faded. Finally Xander's voice penetrated her thoughts "Earth to Tara" She turned to them looking puzzled. "Are you ok?" asked Anya. "You look like Xander when Dawn asks for his help with math."
Tara looked at them and took in a cleansing breath. "Sorry. IÉI just thought I felt something."
"Really? Should we take a look around?" Xander removed his crossbow from around his neck and readied it.
"No. I'm sure it's nothing. With all that's gone on tonight I think I'm being a little over sensitive", assured Tara. "We should get back to the house and wait for Buffy."
As they walked away from the cemetery Tara couldn't help but look back over her shoulder and wonder.
*****
Tara sat on the bed in their room. 'No, Willows room' she thought ruefully. They had arrived at the Summers house before Buffy and while Xander and Anya had rummaged in the fridge for some food she had climbed the stairs to see if Willow had returned. Half of her had hoped she would find Willow curled up asleep in her bed. But the other half had been scared of the exact same thing. Finding Willow there would have meant she was safe but it would have also meant Tara would have had to face her and Tara was pretty sure she wasn't ready for that. But when she opened the door she found the room empty.
Tara rose from the bed and surveyed the room. 'I guess she cleaned up the mess' thought Tara noticing the drawer in its proper place, the floor void of debris. As she glanced at the desk she spotted the dolls eye crystal resting atop it. She walked over and picked it up, tears forming in her eyes.
'It's all my fault. If I hadn't asked Willow to go patrolling none of this would have happened. She was doing so much better' Tears running down her face, she gripped the crystal tightly and closed her eyes. She could feel the calming energy of the crystal as it spread through her and with it came a sense of Willow. It held her entranced. Her mother had once told her that the dolls eyes crystal forever held an impression of its users. She could feel Willows essence flowing into her from the crystal, an essence untainted by the darkness that had now enveloped her love.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid" The words waffled up the stairs, breaking Tara from her trance. Buffy was back. Quickly she turned towards the door but then stopped realizing she still held the crystal. She walked back to the desk and gently set the crystal down. 'It's hers. I gave it to her.' Then she wiped away the last of her tears and hurried downstairs.
"I mean what was I thinking", Buffy asked, addressing Xander and Anya as she paced the living room." I shouldn't have touched her. I know that. But I'm still re-reading the "supportive sibling manual". I haven't gotten to the "how to deal with your best friends magic addiction" manual yet." She stopped and turned to the entranceway when she heard Tara coming down the stairs. Tara looked at her expectantly.
"She's ok. She went straight to her parents' house. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't let me in." Buffy looked around at the group. "She said she's moving out. That she didn't want to be around Dawn, in case she hurt her again." Buffy glanced guiltily down at the floor. The truth was she had been sadly relieved when Willow had told her this through the door. Willow was her friend but Dawn had to come first and with Willow living under the same roof with them while she wasn't in control, well that meant Dawn might be in danger.
Tara didn't respond. She simply nodded and sat down on the couch. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. At least Willow was safe. That was something.
"So what are we going to do now? Now that Willow's gone all evil" began Anya.
"She's not evil", stated Buffy. "There's no evil here."
"There you are slayer. I've been looking all over for you", announced Spike as he entered the living room from the kitchen. He stopped short when he noticed the glum expressions on the Scoobies faces and the tension in the room. "Am I interrupting something?"
"YES!" yelled three voices at the same time. Tara remained silent.
"Good!" said Spike as he flopped down in a chair, hanging his legs over the side. "Telly's busted again. I was looking for some entertainment."
"SpikeÉ"
"Forget about him Buffy. We need to figure out what to do about Willow" interrupted Xander.
Spike smirked "What's Red gone off and done now?" His smirk disappeared when he noticed Dawn's absence. "The nibblets ok isn't she?" He asked in a concerned tone.
Buffy's face softened slightly at Spikes concern for Dawn. "Dawn's fine." She assured.
"Oh. Good" Spike laced his hands behind his head and relaxed, "So what's the gossip?"
Buffy and Xander glared.
"But I've heard that this type of thing happens. People with this kind of problem generally fall off some kind of cart or something," She glanced at Xander, "I read it in a booklet I found at your parents house once written by some guy named AA. But it's ok. Right?" Anya looked around for conformation.
"Yeah. But tonight wasn't just falling off the wagon. It was a full backward 1 1/2 somersault pike with a 1/2 twist." Xander pointed out.
"It was pretty crazy", admitted Buffy.
"Look, I know we thought that maybe it was best to get Willow back into things but after tonight I'm not sure that's the way to go." said Xander.
"Xander's right. If she patrols with us we'll never know when she's going to go all black eyed on us. We'd need eyes in the back of our heads and everyone knows only Vactacle demons have those." Anya stated.
Xander weakly smiled at Anya, cringing at her oh so blunt way of stating things but nonetheless thankful for her support. "Tonight showed that she's not ready yet. Maybe she never will be. I think we have to keep her away from magic altogether and that means Scooby stuff."
Buffy glanced at Tara but the blond did not look up from the couch. She turned back at Xander. "Fine, maybe that would be best. But how exactly do we help her get through this? Any suggestions? Tara?"
Tara looked up from the coach pillow she'd been staring at. "I'm not sure. What I felt tonight. ItÉit was like it wasn't her anymore." Tara admitted sadly. Silence descended over the room as Tara's last statement hit home.
"Well as riveting as this is it doesn't come close to Passions, even if monkey boy here is as wooden as Timmy", said Spike getting up from the chair, shattering the silence. "Right then. Fancy a patrol Slayer? Baddies to kill and all."
"Go away Spike"
"Well I know it's late but there's still time for a little action," leered Spike as he walked towards Buffy. "If you're up for it that is. I know I am.", his expression letting Buffy know exactly just what he was up for. And it wasn't slaying, although it did rhythm with it.
Buffy, finally loosing her patience grabbed Spike by the jacket and slammed him into the wall.
"I'm not up for it Spike, ever again. I don't need you for patrol, or anything else."
Spike snorted and grinned, "You don't mean..."
"Yes I do." She said with certitude.
Xander stepped up behind Buffy. "You heard her. Get gone."
The grin fell from Spike's face and he shoved Buffy back. He straightened the collar of his jacket, attempting to regain his dignity.
"Must be trash day for the Scoobies. First Willow now ol' Spike. Looks like Red and I have more in common than I thought."
"You and Willow have nothing in common." said Tara defensively.
"Don't we?" Spike raised an eyebrow and looked briefly at Tara then glowered at the rest of the Scoobies. "When you need our powers you don't care where they come from but when you're done, when we've outlive our use, well then you don't want anything to do with us."
"You don't know what you're talking about Spike." glared Buffy.
"Don't I?" Spike asked, looking around the room in disgust. "I didn't hear anyone complaining about Willow's use of magic when she stopped Glory from kicking your collective ass, or when she sucked back loverwiccas brain for her. Or how about all those times she saved and protected you lot while Buffy was 6 feet under? He locked eyes with Buffy. "And you might not be too happy about being here, but theirs not another person in this room who isn't ecstatic that Willow brought you back."
Spike turned and strode to the door. As he opened it he paused turning back to the group. "Willow didn't get where she is today by herself, she had her friends to help her." He looked at Tara "So much for true love".
Spike left closing the door after him. He stood on the porch for a moment, lighting a cigarette. He smiled to himself. 'God I love doing that' he thought as he walked of into the night.
The group stood in stunned silence. They knew what Spike was trying to do. He had played that card too often for them not to recognize it. But still, they couldn't help but realize that in all he had said, there had been a grain of truth. Spike had twisted and warped it to for his own purposes but it was still there.
Tara was the first to speak. "He's right in a way. I mean Willow made her choices and she's responsible for them. ButÉ but we asked a lot off her, too much, without stopping to consider what impact that might have", Tara paused looking down, her hair dropping to cover her face. A moment passed. Then Tara looked back up at Willow's friends, her friends, resolve shining in her eyes. "I won't give up on her, ever. I'll get my Willow back."
TBC....
and i just noticed the double post. sorry. [This message has been edited by xita (edited January 29, 2002).]
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me wants more
me begging
Okay, enough with the cave-slayer kind of talk. I think this was a great part. I loved how you brought back the memories about Tara's family, although it kinda hurted at the same time...Willow being able to do that to Tara. But you're doing a very good job, and if you are only a little like other kittens you'll make sure we get a happy ending, right?
Patricia
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"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"
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Okay, I know it's not really obvious, but I really did go to college and I can form coherent, intelligible sentences.
Looking forward to the next part!
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And I thought this line was funny:
"You look like Xander when Dawn asks for his help with math."
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Now that I know there's something to know, I can't *not* know, just because I'm afraid
somebody'll know I know, you know?
IP: Logged
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"Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambé"
IP: Logged
Title: Reunited
Rating: PG
Couples: W/T
Spoilers: Oh yeah, right up to Gone. If you're trying to stay clean then flee! Flee now!
Notes: Willow and Tara are the main focus of this story, however I tried to write it as I thought it might play out on the show (Pffff! Listen to me. As if this piece of crud will ever even remotely resemble the brilliant plot twists Josh has planned for us this season) so all main characters have their scenes. Think of it as a W/T centric episode with all those annoying filler scenes revolving around the other, less important characters, as sandwich breaks.
Archiving: Umm, ok. But asked first.
Feedback: Sure. Take special care to point out all the plot holes and dumbass mistakes. Although I think Rane has saved me from most of the impending embarrassment.
Copyright: In the fantasy world in which I spend most of my time BTVS, all its characters, spin-offs, comic books, animated series, merchandise, etc, are mine all mine. But in the real world, a place I rarely visit, they belong to some guy called Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: I am way too long-winded to sum up this story in a few lines.
Thanks: I humbly bow to my magnificent beta reader Rane, without whom this story would certainly never have been written, let alone posted. Oh great Weevil Faerie Otter Princess I know you and Ruth share a miraculous love but, marry me?
Part 5
The world had turned pink.
Willow was momentarily confused by that fact until she realized she had her face mushed into a pink stuffed elephant. Then she registered she was in her old room. She sat up slowly, her whole body aching like she had just run a marathon. 'Why am I in my old room? And why am I still in the clothes.... Oh God.' As the memories of last night flooded back to her she could feel the bile rising in her throat. She rushed for the bathroom, making it only just in time. Her stomach emptied itself of its contents. When finished she set back against the wall, her palms spread out on the cool tile. Tears splashed down her face onto her shirt.
When she'd arrived home last night she'd been a total wreck. Her body had still tingled from the magic but the horror of what she had done had shocked her out of the high she usually felt when she did a spell. Once inside her parent's house she had sunk to the floor, her back resting against the door, and cried. The next thing she had been aware of was Buffy softly knocking on the door.
Buffy had wanted to come in, to make sure that she was alright, but Willow had refused to open the door. Part of her had wanted to fling it open and hug Buffy, letting her provide the comfort she was offering. She had wanted Buffy to take her home. But Willow knew she couldn't do that. She was dangerous. So instead she had calmly told Buffy that she wouldn't be coming home, that she'd be moving out. And to her sorrow Buffy had been relieved. Oh, she hadn't said it but Willow could hear it in her voice. And she didn't blame her. She was dangerous.
'I used magic. I didn't even think, it just happened, like...like it was in control.' Her mind reeled at this last thought. 'I can't control it. I hurt them. I hurt Tara. I hurt her with my magic. Again. She'll never forgive me now. Ever. I had a chance, she still cared, I know she did. But now...'
Willow put her hands to her face and sobbed. She wasn't sure how long she sat there. It didn't matter. Tara and her friends would never trust her now. She was dangerous. How could she help them fight evil when they couldn't trust her, when it was her that could hurt them and not a demon?
Willow sniffled and wiped her eyes. 'I was right last night; I can't be around them anymore. I almost killed Dawn and now Tara and Buffy. No, I have to stay away from them.' Willow lifted herself of the floor and peered into the mirror. She looked tired. Dark circles rested under her eyes and her face was white and thin. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Part of her wanted to sink back to the floor, curl up into a ball and shut herself off from the rest of the world forever. But the other part of her, the part Buffy had seen under layers of shy nerd, the part that had spent the last six years of her life helping save the world time and time again knew what had to be done. Willow opened her eyes. Her reflection stared back at her, wearing resolve face.
******
"Thanks for doing this Buff", commented Xander as he parked his car close to the Magic Box. "I thought Anya was going to have an aneurysm when the bank wouldn't schedule her meeting before regular business hours."
"No problem. I kinda need the money. Besides, opening the Magic Box for Anya beats sitting home worrying about Willow. Now I get to do that while selling uncooperative mummy hands and smelly possum livers." Buffy said with a wryly smile
"Speaking of whom. Have you talked to her since last night?" inquired Xander as he and Buffy got out of his car.
"No. I called this morning but there was no answer." Buffy peered over the roof of the car at Xander. "This is all so weird. I keep expecting this to all be the fault of some demon or something. Like, we'll find out that Willow's been possessed or had some kind of voodoo mind control thingy done on her."
Xander shot Buffy a sympathetic look and started towards the Magic Shop, Buffy falling into step beside him. "I know. It's so hard to believe that this is our Willow. Wait!" Xander's face lit up as an idea came to him and he spun to look at Buffy. "Maybe this is one of those alternate reality Willows. You know, still gay and kinda uberPMS but minus the skank. Although that does deprive us of the leather-"
"Xander", interrupted Buffy. "Did you and Anya forget to close the door to the shop last night?"
"No." Xander turned to find the shop door slightly ajar.
Buffy put her finger to her lips, signally Xander to be quiet as she slowly inched towards the door, slayer senses at full alert. They paused briefly at the entrance, listening for any sounds that would indicate an intruder still lied within. When no noises greeted their ears Buffy slowly pushed the door open and they cautiously stepped inside.
The store was a shambles. Books were strewn about the floor, shelves overturned and broken. The display case had been shattered and the cash register thrown to the floor. The research table seemed to be untouched but two of its chairs had been smashed.
Buffy and Xander took in the destruction, stunned. Buffy turned to Xander.
"Anya's going to take this out of my paycheck isn't she?"
******
Tara walked listlessly down the university hallway. She had attended her 8am Art History class but hadn't registered a word the professor had said. It didn't matter. Nothing did. Not without Willow.
Once she had been terribly interested in Art History, particularly paintings depicting people. She would spend hours looking at a painting, creating stories about the people in them, who they were and what there lives were like. Smiling she recalled the first time she had tried to interest Willow in art.
****** "What do you see in this one?" Tara asked. They were curled up on their bed, Tara sitting behind Willow, the redhead reclined snuggly back against her, an Art History book open on her lap. Willow looked at the picture of the painting. "It's a girl, in a field." she stated matter-of-factly.
Tara playfully rolled her eyes even though Willow couldn't see it. Sometimes Willow was just too literal. 'Must be the scientist in her.' "Yes it is but it's more than that. Look closer."
"It's a girl in a field wearing a blue dress?" Willow teased.
Tara, feigning exasperation, reached forward and closed the book. "Fine, you don't want to expand your mind that's ok. Go read the elemental table or something."
As she turned herself slightly to look at Tara, Willow playfully grabbed her lover's arm. She attempted an apologetic face but didn't quite pull it off. Her grin was too big. "I'm sorry Tara. Really. I just don't see anything else. But maybe you could tell me what you see. Oh!" exclaimed Willow. "You could tell me a story about the girl in the picture! I like stories."
Tara grinned. She had never met anyone who liked stories as much as Willow. But she wasn't going to let her off so easily. "I don't know, I'm feeling kinda storied out. Maybe some other time." Tara picked up the book and made to place it on the nightstand. Willow reached out, grasping the book. "But I really want to find out about that girl in the picture." she pouted.
"Well, I suppose I could. If I was properly motivated." A sexy, slightly naughty, grin appeared on Tara's face. Willow arched and eyebrow, her pout instantly vanished, to be replaced by a mischievous grin. "You need motivation huh? Well that shouldn't be too much of a problem", Willow stated as she turned her body fully around and leaned in to nip playfully at the blonde's neck. "I'm really good at motivation."
"Oh, well, that's good", sighed Tara, who was suddenly finding it extremely hard to concentrate. WillowÕs hand withdrew from the book and snaked its way under Tara's blouse, making its way up her body. The book dropped to the floor with a thud. "Good. Yes, very good." moaned Tara, her eyes falling shut.
Willow smiled and raised her head. She brushed her lips lightly over Tara's, allowing her tongue to flicker over the blonds bottom lip. Her hand continued to roam slowly over Tara's chest as she brought her mouth down to her ear. "Let me know when you've had enough "motivation"", she whispered. ******
They hadn't gotten around to the story that night Tara recalled. Lost in reverie she rounded a corner and slammed into another student. "Oh sorry. I wasn't paying attention" apologized Tara.
"That's ok I... oh hey, Tara right?" inquired the boy.
Tara blinked, looking at the boy for the first time. She recognized him as a jock from her Lit class. He was always smiling at her from across the room. "Yeah, t-that's right. I'm afraid I d-don't know your name." Tara gave him a weak smile as she tried to formulate an escape plan.
"Chris. I'm quarterback for the university team", he beamed, "Which probably sounds incredibly big headed of me to say like that." A charming smile lit his face as he suavely leaned against the wall. "It's just I was getting ready to ask you to come watch one of the games and I thought, you know, that would be a relevant piece of information."
"Oh well, I" As Tara struggled to come up with a polite way to decline the invitation a door opened just down the hall. Out of the corner of her eye Tara caught a wisp of red hair. Forgetting she was in the middle of making an excuse she turned her head fully and saw Willow standing in the hall with a professor she recognized. Professor Sands. He had been one of WillowÕs favorite professors and Buffy had informed her that it was he whom Willow was working for.
Chris rambled on, too caught up in explaining the finer points of football to notice Tara was not paying any attention. "I know you don't know me that well but I thought maybe you'd enjoy coming to a game. And after we could grab a bite to eat. It's going to be a great game. We're playing our archrivals and...". Chris's voice faded into the background as Tara tried to listen in on the conversation Willow and Prof. Sands were having.
"This is wonderful Willow. You won't regret it", Professor Sands said enthusiastically. "Now we leave in a few days so you don't have much time to get things together. I'll see to your papers."
"I'll be ready", Willow replied quietly. "Thank you for this opportunity."
"Don't mention it." He looked at Willow quizzically. "Not that I'm trying to discourage you or anything but are you sure this is what you want? You look a bit upset."
"No. I mean, this is what I want. I just didn't get enough sleep last night." Willow smiled politely. "I have to go. See you Thursday and thanks again." Before Professor Sands could reply Willow turned and walked away.
Alarms were going off in Tara's head. She didn't fully understand what their conversation had been about but she was sure she didn't like what was implied. She decided she had to find out exactly what was going on. Tara had begun to move towards Professor Sands when she realized Chris was still talking to her.
"And we're going to kick their-"
"Umm, Chris. Listen it's nice of you to offer but, well, I like girls. Excuse me." Tara said, dumping politeness for brutal honesty. She rushed towards Professor Sands as he turned to enter his office, leaving a very stunned quarterback in her wake.
"Excuse me Professor Sands!" Tara called out.
"Yes. Can I help you?" he inquired as he turned to see who was addressing him.
"I", Tara paused. 'What should I say?' The truth was obviously out of the question but she sucked at lying. Willow had once pointed out that on the few occasions when she had fibbed to help the Scoobies, little red splotched had appeared all over her neck. Upon further exploration by Willow it was revealed that these splotches also appeared over other areas of her body that were less apparent when she was wearing clothes.
Tara decided she'd have to risk it.
"I was just in the hallway and noticed you talking to Willow, Willow Rosenberg", Tara cautiously began. 'Good, good. Just get the conversation rolling.' "And, well I tried to catch her but I couldn't. Do you know where she was going?" Tara put on her most sincere smile and hoped her red splotches weren't glowing. Or flashing. God she hated lying.
"Sorry. She didn't say. But you might try her at home, or if you like I could pass on a message to her." he offered.
"No! I mean no thank you. It's kind of something I have to tell her in person." Tara's fake smile was starting to hurt. "I'll just see her this weekend."
"Actually you might want to stop by and see her before then." said Professor Sands.
"Why?" Tara held her breath.
"Well she's accepted a position on my expedition to Cyprus and we leave on Thursday."
Tara was starting to feel sick. "Cyprus? H-how long will she be gone?"
"Well most of the team is going for six months but Willow has expressed an interest in staying longer."
Tara's mind was spinning at this new information. Willow was leaving, and it seemed like she might not ever come back. 'Why is she doing this? How can she leave me?' panicked Tara. 'Because you already left her. She thinks you don't care. I have to find her.'
"Oh. Well I'll go look for her right now. Thanks for your help." Tara said as she quickly walked down the hall in the direction Willow had gone.
"Your welcome. Good luck." Professor Sands said as he turned and went back into his office. "Hope she takes care of that rash."
******
Once around the corner Tara broke into a run. She blew down the hall of the Arts building, glancing into the open classrooms she passed in the hopes of spotting Willow. 'Where is she' Tara thought as she burst through the main doors out onto the campus lawn. She quickly glanced around trying to spot Willow. 'Great. The one time Willow leaves the campus before me-.Õ Her eyes fell upon a large oak tree in the more secluded part of the lawn away from the buildings and bustling students. It was a beautiful tree but that wasn't what had caught Tara's eye. No, what had drawn her attention to the tree were the two jean covered long legs sticking out from behind it. Tara's eyes followed the legs down to two feet wearing bright red sneakers with white soles and laces. Willow had once told Tara that the shoes were one of the few things she had saved from her high school days and that she only wore them when she needed to get in touch with her 'inner geek'. Willow hadn't worn then in a very long time.
Slowly, and with not a little nervousness, she approached the tree. As she drew nearer more of Willow came into view. Despite the fact that she was getting closer Willow seemed oblivious to her presence. She sat staring gloomily off into space. Tara stopped a few feet away from her, unsure if she should be closer or farther away. Still Willow gave no indication that she knew Tara was there. After a few moments Tara decided that she should announce her presence.
"Willow?" she said softly, not wanting to startle her.
Willow jumped slightly and looked quickly in Tara's direction, surprise clearly evident on her face.
"Tara!" Willow said, quickly getting to her feet. "What are you doing here?", a frown formed on her face, " You... you shouldn't be here."
"I j-just wanted to see if you w-were alright."
Willow looked at Tara and then at the ground. She was touched that Tara would come looking for her to see if she was ok but her stutter revealed just how nervous she was about being around Willow. "I...I'm fine, really. But you should go. Before I do or say something stupid."
"Actually, me being her to see if your alright isn't the total truth." admitted Tara
"I know."
"You kno-"
"Splotches."
"Oh." Tara mouthed as she reached up to touch her neck.
Willow raised her head and looked questioningly at Tara. "So why are you here?"
"I know about the trip to Cyprus," Tara said, trying to keep her voice non-accusatory. "When were you going to tell us, me, about it?"
Willow, caught of guard by Tara's statement, stared at the blond for a moment, and then looked guiltily at her feet.
Tara watched WillowÕs reaction and then a realization came over her. "You weren't going to tell anyone were you?"
Slowly Willow lifted her head, summoning all her resolve. "No", she said her voice calm and strong. "I'm not in control Tara and I won't stay here and risk hurting everyone I love because I'm too weak to beat this. I won't. I have to go. It's better this way."
"You think running away from the people you love, the people who love you, is going to help you. Willow your one of the strongest people I know. You can beat this." Tara took a step forward and reached out to Willow but Willow stepped back.
"No I'm not. If I was I would have never got myself into this, I would have never hurt you like I did." WillowÕs voice broke with emotion and tears filled her eyes. "I wasn't even thinking about using magic last night Tara. It just happened, and I couldn't stop it. Where was my strength then? And when it was inside me, the magic, I didn't want to stop it anymore. I wanted to let it win." Willow blinked, trying to hold back her tears.
Tara stepped closer to Willow, gently grabbing her arm before she could back away. "The Willow I know, the Willow I fell in love with would never back down from a challenge. She would fight. Like she has fought countless times for her friends and for the lives of people she doesn't even know. Like she fought for me when my family wanted to take me away." Tara looked into Willow's eyes, hoping she was getting through to her.
Willow was silent for a moment, simply gazing into Tara's eyes. Her brow furrowed sadly and the tears she had held at bay finally spilled down her checks. She reached forward with her hand and touched Tara's cheek gently. She knew she shouldn't, that she had no right. But she couldn't help herself. She needed one last caress.
"I'm not that Willow anymore."
Willow's statement knocked the wind out of Tara's lungs. She tried to respond but found she couldn't draw in enough air to speak. Willow brushed her fingertips slowly across Tara's check, savoring the feel.
"You were always the strong one Tara. You were right to leave me. What I did to you... how can I ask you to forgive me when I can never forgive myself?"
Tears flowing freely, Tara cupped Willow's cheek and said what was in her heart. "But I love you Willow."
Willow smiled sadly and leaned in to rest her forehead against Tara's. "And I love you, always. But sometimes that's not enough."
A sob escape Tara as Willow gently kissed her forehead. Willow drew back, taking one last look at Tara, then turned and walked away.
Tara stood under the oak tree watching Willow as she walked away, out of her life. Tears blurred her vision and her legs threatened to buckle. As the last bit of red disappeared on the horizon Tara sunk against the tree. She looked up into the sky, a warm wind softly blowing across her face. Puffy white clouds floated by and the sun shone. Her life had crumbled, how dare the world continue to turn.
TBC....
[This message has been edited by canadian kitty (edited January 30, 2002).]
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Wonderfully written. Can't wait for more!
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She's my everything!
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More? Please?
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--Sela
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[This message has been edited by xita (edited January 29, 2002).]
IP: LoggedwiltarCool Monster Fighter me wants more
me begging
Okay, enough with the cave-slayer kind of talk. I think this was a great part. I loved how you brought back the memories about Tara's family, although it kinda hurted at the same time...Willow being able to do that to Tara. But you're doing a very good job, and if you are only a little like other kittens you'll make sure we get a happy ending, right?
Patricia
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"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"
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posted January 29, 2002 18:17 me likes this ficme wants more
me begging
Okay, enough with the cave-slayer kind of talk. I think this was a great part. I loved how you brought back the memories about Tara's family, although it kinda hurted at the same time...Willow being able to do that to Tara. But you're doing a very good job, and if you are only a little like other kittens you'll make sure we get a happy ending, right?
Patricia
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"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"
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posted January 29, 2002 21:58 Great story Can't wait to read the next partIP: LoggedPixieCool Monster Fighter Okay, I know it's not really obvious, but I really did go to college and I can form coherent, intelligible sentences.
Looking forward to the next part!
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posted January 29, 2002 23:25 *sniff* Poor Willow!! Bad Rack!! Tara resolve face!Okay, I know it's not really obvious, but I really did go to college and I can form coherent, intelligible sentences.
Looking forward to the next part!
IP: LoggedxitaMs. Moderator IP: Logged
posted January 29, 2002 23:33 Yes go get your woman Tara!IP: LoggedGarnerFloating Rose IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 02:04 Comments on parts 2 & 3 And I thought this line was funny:
"You look like Xander when Dawn asks for his help with math."
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Now that I know there's something to know, I can't *not* know, just because I'm afraid
somebody'll know I know, you know?
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posted January 30, 2002 14:09 Oh bad Rack. But Tara'll figure out it was his fault Willow got all wacky with the blacky magic - won't she?And I thought this line was funny:
"You look like Xander when Dawn asks for his help with math."
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Now that I know there's something to know, I can't *not* know, just because I'm afraid
somebody'll know I know, you know?
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posted January 30, 2002 17:01 I've just got one thing to say... ------------------
"Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambé"
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posted January 30, 2002 19:50 Really enjoying this one... you're building it really well, and I'm really feeling for poor Willow. Looking forward to the inevitable Rack ass kicking as well... geez, I don't like that guy!------------------
"Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambé"
Title: Reunited
Rating: PG
Couples: W/T
Spoilers: Oh yeah, right up to Gone. If you're trying to stay clean then flee! Flee now!
Notes: Willow and Tara are the main focus of this story, however I tried to write it as I thought it might play out on the show (Pffff! Listen to me. As if this piece of crud will ever even remotely resemble the brilliant plot twists Josh has planned for us this season) so all main characters have their scenes. Think of it as a W/T centric episode with all those annoying filler scenes revolving around the other, less important characters, as sandwich breaks.
Archiving: Umm, ok. But asked first.
Feedback: Sure. Take special care to point out all the plot holes and dumbass mistakes. Although I think Rane has saved me from most of the impending embarrassment.
Copyright: In the fantasy world in which I spend most of my time BTVS, all its characters, spin-offs, comic books, animated series, merchandise, etc, are mine all mine. But in the real world, a place I rarely visit, they belong to some guy called Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: I am way too long-winded to sum up this story in a few lines.
Thanks: I humbly bow to my magnificent beta reader Rane, without whom this story would certainly never have been written, let alone posted. Oh great Weevil Faerie Otter Princess I know you and Ruth share a miraculous love but, marry me?
Part 5
The world had turned pink.
Willow was momentarily confused by that fact until she realized she had her face mushed into a pink stuffed elephant. Then she registered she was in her old room. She sat up slowly, her whole body aching like she had just run a marathon. 'Why am I in my old room? And why am I still in the clothes.... Oh God.' As the memories of last night flooded back to her she could feel the bile rising in her throat. She rushed for the bathroom, making it only just in time. Her stomach emptied itself of its contents. When finished she set back against the wall, her palms spread out on the cool tile. Tears splashed down her face onto her shirt.
When she'd arrived home last night she'd been a total wreck. Her body had still tingled from the magic but the horror of what she had done had shocked her out of the high she usually felt when she did a spell. Once inside her parent's house she had sunk to the floor, her back resting against the door, and cried. The next thing she had been aware of was Buffy softly knocking on the door.
Buffy had wanted to come in, to make sure that she was alright, but Willow had refused to open the door. Part of her had wanted to fling it open and hug Buffy, letting her provide the comfort she was offering. She had wanted Buffy to take her home. But Willow knew she couldn't do that. She was dangerous. So instead she had calmly told Buffy that she wouldn't be coming home, that she'd be moving out. And to her sorrow Buffy had been relieved. Oh, she hadn't said it but Willow could hear it in her voice. And she didn't blame her. She was dangerous.
'I used magic. I didn't even think, it just happened, like...like it was in control.' Her mind reeled at this last thought. 'I can't control it. I hurt them. I hurt Tara. I hurt her with my magic. Again. She'll never forgive me now. Ever. I had a chance, she still cared, I know she did. But now...'
Willow put her hands to her face and sobbed. She wasn't sure how long she sat there. It didn't matter. Tara and her friends would never trust her now. She was dangerous. How could she help them fight evil when they couldn't trust her, when it was her that could hurt them and not a demon?
Willow sniffled and wiped her eyes. 'I was right last night; I can't be around them anymore. I almost killed Dawn and now Tara and Buffy. No, I have to stay away from them.' Willow lifted herself of the floor and peered into the mirror. She looked tired. Dark circles rested under her eyes and her face was white and thin. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Part of her wanted to sink back to the floor, curl up into a ball and shut herself off from the rest of the world forever. But the other part of her, the part Buffy had seen under layers of shy nerd, the part that had spent the last six years of her life helping save the world time and time again knew what had to be done. Willow opened her eyes. Her reflection stared back at her, wearing resolve face.
******
"Thanks for doing this Buff", commented Xander as he parked his car close to the Magic Box. "I thought Anya was going to have an aneurysm when the bank wouldn't schedule her meeting before regular business hours."
"No problem. I kinda need the money. Besides, opening the Magic Box for Anya beats sitting home worrying about Willow. Now I get to do that while selling uncooperative mummy hands and smelly possum livers." Buffy said with a wryly smile
"Speaking of whom. Have you talked to her since last night?" inquired Xander as he and Buffy got out of his car.
"No. I called this morning but there was no answer." Buffy peered over the roof of the car at Xander. "This is all so weird. I keep expecting this to all be the fault of some demon or something. Like, we'll find out that Willow's been possessed or had some kind of voodoo mind control thingy done on her."
Xander shot Buffy a sympathetic look and started towards the Magic Shop, Buffy falling into step beside him. "I know. It's so hard to believe that this is our Willow. Wait!" Xander's face lit up as an idea came to him and he spun to look at Buffy. "Maybe this is one of those alternate reality Willows. You know, still gay and kinda uberPMS but minus the skank. Although that does deprive us of the leather-"
"Xander", interrupted Buffy. "Did you and Anya forget to close the door to the shop last night?"
"No." Xander turned to find the shop door slightly ajar.
Buffy put her finger to her lips, signally Xander to be quiet as she slowly inched towards the door, slayer senses at full alert. They paused briefly at the entrance, listening for any sounds that would indicate an intruder still lied within. When no noises greeted their ears Buffy slowly pushed the door open and they cautiously stepped inside.
The store was a shambles. Books were strewn about the floor, shelves overturned and broken. The display case had been shattered and the cash register thrown to the floor. The research table seemed to be untouched but two of its chairs had been smashed.
Buffy and Xander took in the destruction, stunned. Buffy turned to Xander.
"Anya's going to take this out of my paycheck isn't she?"
******
Tara walked listlessly down the university hallway. She had attended her 8am Art History class but hadn't registered a word the professor had said. It didn't matter. Nothing did. Not without Willow.
Once she had been terribly interested in Art History, particularly paintings depicting people. She would spend hours looking at a painting, creating stories about the people in them, who they were and what there lives were like. Smiling she recalled the first time she had tried to interest Willow in art.
****** "What do you see in this one?" Tara asked. They were curled up on their bed, Tara sitting behind Willow, the redhead reclined snuggly back against her, an Art History book open on her lap. Willow looked at the picture of the painting. "It's a girl, in a field." she stated matter-of-factly.
Tara playfully rolled her eyes even though Willow couldn't see it. Sometimes Willow was just too literal. 'Must be the scientist in her.' "Yes it is but it's more than that. Look closer."
"It's a girl in a field wearing a blue dress?" Willow teased.
Tara, feigning exasperation, reached forward and closed the book. "Fine, you don't want to expand your mind that's ok. Go read the elemental table or something."
As she turned herself slightly to look at Tara, Willow playfully grabbed her lover's arm. She attempted an apologetic face but didn't quite pull it off. Her grin was too big. "I'm sorry Tara. Really. I just don't see anything else. But maybe you could tell me what you see. Oh!" exclaimed Willow. "You could tell me a story about the girl in the picture! I like stories."
Tara grinned. She had never met anyone who liked stories as much as Willow. But she wasn't going to let her off so easily. "I don't know, I'm feeling kinda storied out. Maybe some other time." Tara picked up the book and made to place it on the nightstand. Willow reached out, grasping the book. "But I really want to find out about that girl in the picture." she pouted.
"Well, I suppose I could. If I was properly motivated." A sexy, slightly naughty, grin appeared on Tara's face. Willow arched and eyebrow, her pout instantly vanished, to be replaced by a mischievous grin. "You need motivation huh? Well that shouldn't be too much of a problem", Willow stated as she turned her body fully around and leaned in to nip playfully at the blonde's neck. "I'm really good at motivation."
"Oh, well, that's good", sighed Tara, who was suddenly finding it extremely hard to concentrate. WillowÕs hand withdrew from the book and snaked its way under Tara's blouse, making its way up her body. The book dropped to the floor with a thud. "Good. Yes, very good." moaned Tara, her eyes falling shut.
Willow smiled and raised her head. She brushed her lips lightly over Tara's, allowing her tongue to flicker over the blonds bottom lip. Her hand continued to roam slowly over Tara's chest as she brought her mouth down to her ear. "Let me know when you've had enough "motivation"", she whispered. ******
They hadn't gotten around to the story that night Tara recalled. Lost in reverie she rounded a corner and slammed into another student. "Oh sorry. I wasn't paying attention" apologized Tara.
"That's ok I... oh hey, Tara right?" inquired the boy.
Tara blinked, looking at the boy for the first time. She recognized him as a jock from her Lit class. He was always smiling at her from across the room. "Yeah, t-that's right. I'm afraid I d-don't know your name." Tara gave him a weak smile as she tried to formulate an escape plan.
"Chris. I'm quarterback for the university team", he beamed, "Which probably sounds incredibly big headed of me to say like that." A charming smile lit his face as he suavely leaned against the wall. "It's just I was getting ready to ask you to come watch one of the games and I thought, you know, that would be a relevant piece of information."
"Oh well, I" As Tara struggled to come up with a polite way to decline the invitation a door opened just down the hall. Out of the corner of her eye Tara caught a wisp of red hair. Forgetting she was in the middle of making an excuse she turned her head fully and saw Willow standing in the hall with a professor she recognized. Professor Sands. He had been one of WillowÕs favorite professors and Buffy had informed her that it was he whom Willow was working for.
Chris rambled on, too caught up in explaining the finer points of football to notice Tara was not paying any attention. "I know you don't know me that well but I thought maybe you'd enjoy coming to a game. And after we could grab a bite to eat. It's going to be a great game. We're playing our archrivals and...". Chris's voice faded into the background as Tara tried to listen in on the conversation Willow and Prof. Sands were having.
"This is wonderful Willow. You won't regret it", Professor Sands said enthusiastically. "Now we leave in a few days so you don't have much time to get things together. I'll see to your papers."
"I'll be ready", Willow replied quietly. "Thank you for this opportunity."
"Don't mention it." He looked at Willow quizzically. "Not that I'm trying to discourage you or anything but are you sure this is what you want? You look a bit upset."
"No. I mean, this is what I want. I just didn't get enough sleep last night." Willow smiled politely. "I have to go. See you Thursday and thanks again." Before Professor Sands could reply Willow turned and walked away.
Alarms were going off in Tara's head. She didn't fully understand what their conversation had been about but she was sure she didn't like what was implied. She decided she had to find out exactly what was going on. Tara had begun to move towards Professor Sands when she realized Chris was still talking to her.
"And we're going to kick their-"
"Umm, Chris. Listen it's nice of you to offer but, well, I like girls. Excuse me." Tara said, dumping politeness for brutal honesty. She rushed towards Professor Sands as he turned to enter his office, leaving a very stunned quarterback in her wake.
"Excuse me Professor Sands!" Tara called out.
"Yes. Can I help you?" he inquired as he turned to see who was addressing him.
"I", Tara paused. 'What should I say?' The truth was obviously out of the question but she sucked at lying. Willow had once pointed out that on the few occasions when she had fibbed to help the Scoobies, little red splotched had appeared all over her neck. Upon further exploration by Willow it was revealed that these splotches also appeared over other areas of her body that were less apparent when she was wearing clothes.
Tara decided she'd have to risk it.
"I was just in the hallway and noticed you talking to Willow, Willow Rosenberg", Tara cautiously began. 'Good, good. Just get the conversation rolling.' "And, well I tried to catch her but I couldn't. Do you know where she was going?" Tara put on her most sincere smile and hoped her red splotches weren't glowing. Or flashing. God she hated lying.
"Sorry. She didn't say. But you might try her at home, or if you like I could pass on a message to her." he offered.
"No! I mean no thank you. It's kind of something I have to tell her in person." Tara's fake smile was starting to hurt. "I'll just see her this weekend."
"Actually you might want to stop by and see her before then." said Professor Sands.
"Why?" Tara held her breath.
"Well she's accepted a position on my expedition to Cyprus and we leave on Thursday."
Tara was starting to feel sick. "Cyprus? H-how long will she be gone?"
"Well most of the team is going for six months but Willow has expressed an interest in staying longer."
Tara's mind was spinning at this new information. Willow was leaving, and it seemed like she might not ever come back. 'Why is she doing this? How can she leave me?' panicked Tara. 'Because you already left her. She thinks you don't care. I have to find her.'
"Oh. Well I'll go look for her right now. Thanks for your help." Tara said as she quickly walked down the hall in the direction Willow had gone.
"Your welcome. Good luck." Professor Sands said as he turned and went back into his office. "Hope she takes care of that rash."
******
Once around the corner Tara broke into a run. She blew down the hall of the Arts building, glancing into the open classrooms she passed in the hopes of spotting Willow. 'Where is she' Tara thought as she burst through the main doors out onto the campus lawn. She quickly glanced around trying to spot Willow. 'Great. The one time Willow leaves the campus before me-.Õ Her eyes fell upon a large oak tree in the more secluded part of the lawn away from the buildings and bustling students. It was a beautiful tree but that wasn't what had caught Tara's eye. No, what had drawn her attention to the tree were the two jean covered long legs sticking out from behind it. Tara's eyes followed the legs down to two feet wearing bright red sneakers with white soles and laces. Willow had once told Tara that the shoes were one of the few things she had saved from her high school days and that she only wore them when she needed to get in touch with her 'inner geek'. Willow hadn't worn then in a very long time.
Slowly, and with not a little nervousness, she approached the tree. As she drew nearer more of Willow came into view. Despite the fact that she was getting closer Willow seemed oblivious to her presence. She sat staring gloomily off into space. Tara stopped a few feet away from her, unsure if she should be closer or farther away. Still Willow gave no indication that she knew Tara was there. After a few moments Tara decided that she should announce her presence.
"Willow?" she said softly, not wanting to startle her.
Willow jumped slightly and looked quickly in Tara's direction, surprise clearly evident on her face.
"Tara!" Willow said, quickly getting to her feet. "What are you doing here?", a frown formed on her face, " You... you shouldn't be here."
"I j-just wanted to see if you w-were alright."
Willow looked at Tara and then at the ground. She was touched that Tara would come looking for her to see if she was ok but her stutter revealed just how nervous she was about being around Willow. "I...I'm fine, really. But you should go. Before I do or say something stupid."
"Actually, me being her to see if your alright isn't the total truth." admitted Tara
"I know."
"You kno-"
"Splotches."
"Oh." Tara mouthed as she reached up to touch her neck.
Willow raised her head and looked questioningly at Tara. "So why are you here?"
"I know about the trip to Cyprus," Tara said, trying to keep her voice non-accusatory. "When were you going to tell us, me, about it?"
Willow, caught of guard by Tara's statement, stared at the blond for a moment, and then looked guiltily at her feet.
Tara watched WillowÕs reaction and then a realization came over her. "You weren't going to tell anyone were you?"
Slowly Willow lifted her head, summoning all her resolve. "No", she said her voice calm and strong. "I'm not in control Tara and I won't stay here and risk hurting everyone I love because I'm too weak to beat this. I won't. I have to go. It's better this way."
"You think running away from the people you love, the people who love you, is going to help you. Willow your one of the strongest people I know. You can beat this." Tara took a step forward and reached out to Willow but Willow stepped back.
"No I'm not. If I was I would have never got myself into this, I would have never hurt you like I did." WillowÕs voice broke with emotion and tears filled her eyes. "I wasn't even thinking about using magic last night Tara. It just happened, and I couldn't stop it. Where was my strength then? And when it was inside me, the magic, I didn't want to stop it anymore. I wanted to let it win." Willow blinked, trying to hold back her tears.
Tara stepped closer to Willow, gently grabbing her arm before she could back away. "The Willow I know, the Willow I fell in love with would never back down from a challenge. She would fight. Like she has fought countless times for her friends and for the lives of people she doesn't even know. Like she fought for me when my family wanted to take me away." Tara looked into Willow's eyes, hoping she was getting through to her.
Willow was silent for a moment, simply gazing into Tara's eyes. Her brow furrowed sadly and the tears she had held at bay finally spilled down her checks. She reached forward with her hand and touched Tara's cheek gently. She knew she shouldn't, that she had no right. But she couldn't help herself. She needed one last caress.
"I'm not that Willow anymore."
Willow's statement knocked the wind out of Tara's lungs. She tried to respond but found she couldn't draw in enough air to speak. Willow brushed her fingertips slowly across Tara's check, savoring the feel.
"You were always the strong one Tara. You were right to leave me. What I did to you... how can I ask you to forgive me when I can never forgive myself?"
Tears flowing freely, Tara cupped Willow's cheek and said what was in her heart. "But I love you Willow."
Willow smiled sadly and leaned in to rest her forehead against Tara's. "And I love you, always. But sometimes that's not enough."
A sob escape Tara as Willow gently kissed her forehead. Willow drew back, taking one last look at Tara, then turned and walked away.
Tara stood under the oak tree watching Willow as she walked away, out of her life. Tears blurred her vision and her legs threatened to buckle. As the last bit of red disappeared on the horizon Tara sunk against the tree. She looked up into the sky, a warm wind softly blowing across her face. Puffy white clouds floated by and the sun shone. Her life had crumbled, how dare the world continue to turn.
TBC....
[This message has been edited by canadian kitty (edited January 30, 2002).]
IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 20:32 Hello all. Thanks so much for your comments and feedback. I'm going to have to pass on relpying to them tonight however. the migraine monster visited me in the wee hours of the morning today and has just finished romping around in my head. I'm just dropping by to post the next chapter and then I'm going to stop looking at this rather bright monitor. as alway, hope you enjoy.Title: Reunited
Rating: PG
Couples: W/T
Spoilers: Oh yeah, right up to Gone. If you're trying to stay clean then flee! Flee now!
Notes: Willow and Tara are the main focus of this story, however I tried to write it as I thought it might play out on the show (Pffff! Listen to me. As if this piece of crud will ever even remotely resemble the brilliant plot twists Josh has planned for us this season) so all main characters have their scenes. Think of it as a W/T centric episode with all those annoying filler scenes revolving around the other, less important characters, as sandwich breaks.
Archiving: Umm, ok. But asked first.
Feedback: Sure. Take special care to point out all the plot holes and dumbass mistakes. Although I think Rane has saved me from most of the impending embarrassment.
Copyright: In the fantasy world in which I spend most of my time BTVS, all its characters, spin-offs, comic books, animated series, merchandise, etc, are mine all mine. But in the real world, a place I rarely visit, they belong to some guy called Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: I am way too long-winded to sum up this story in a few lines.
Thanks: I humbly bow to my magnificent beta reader Rane, without whom this story would certainly never have been written, let alone posted. Oh great Weevil Faerie Otter Princess I know you and Ruth share a miraculous love but, marry me?
Part 5
The world had turned pink.
Willow was momentarily confused by that fact until she realized she had her face mushed into a pink stuffed elephant. Then she registered she was in her old room. She sat up slowly, her whole body aching like she had just run a marathon. 'Why am I in my old room? And why am I still in the clothes.... Oh God.' As the memories of last night flooded back to her she could feel the bile rising in her throat. She rushed for the bathroom, making it only just in time. Her stomach emptied itself of its contents. When finished she set back against the wall, her palms spread out on the cool tile. Tears splashed down her face onto her shirt.
When she'd arrived home last night she'd been a total wreck. Her body had still tingled from the magic but the horror of what she had done had shocked her out of the high she usually felt when she did a spell. Once inside her parent's house she had sunk to the floor, her back resting against the door, and cried. The next thing she had been aware of was Buffy softly knocking on the door.
Buffy had wanted to come in, to make sure that she was alright, but Willow had refused to open the door. Part of her had wanted to fling it open and hug Buffy, letting her provide the comfort she was offering. She had wanted Buffy to take her home. But Willow knew she couldn't do that. She was dangerous. So instead she had calmly told Buffy that she wouldn't be coming home, that she'd be moving out. And to her sorrow Buffy had been relieved. Oh, she hadn't said it but Willow could hear it in her voice. And she didn't blame her. She was dangerous.
'I used magic. I didn't even think, it just happened, like...like it was in control.' Her mind reeled at this last thought. 'I can't control it. I hurt them. I hurt Tara. I hurt her with my magic. Again. She'll never forgive me now. Ever. I had a chance, she still cared, I know she did. But now...'
Willow put her hands to her face and sobbed. She wasn't sure how long she sat there. It didn't matter. Tara and her friends would never trust her now. She was dangerous. How could she help them fight evil when they couldn't trust her, when it was her that could hurt them and not a demon?
Willow sniffled and wiped her eyes. 'I was right last night; I can't be around them anymore. I almost killed Dawn and now Tara and Buffy. No, I have to stay away from them.' Willow lifted herself of the floor and peered into the mirror. She looked tired. Dark circles rested under her eyes and her face was white and thin. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Part of her wanted to sink back to the floor, curl up into a ball and shut herself off from the rest of the world forever. But the other part of her, the part Buffy had seen under layers of shy nerd, the part that had spent the last six years of her life helping save the world time and time again knew what had to be done. Willow opened her eyes. Her reflection stared back at her, wearing resolve face.
******
"Thanks for doing this Buff", commented Xander as he parked his car close to the Magic Box. "I thought Anya was going to have an aneurysm when the bank wouldn't schedule her meeting before regular business hours."
"No problem. I kinda need the money. Besides, opening the Magic Box for Anya beats sitting home worrying about Willow. Now I get to do that while selling uncooperative mummy hands and smelly possum livers." Buffy said with a wryly smile
"Speaking of whom. Have you talked to her since last night?" inquired Xander as he and Buffy got out of his car.
"No. I called this morning but there was no answer." Buffy peered over the roof of the car at Xander. "This is all so weird. I keep expecting this to all be the fault of some demon or something. Like, we'll find out that Willow's been possessed or had some kind of voodoo mind control thingy done on her."
Xander shot Buffy a sympathetic look and started towards the Magic Shop, Buffy falling into step beside him. "I know. It's so hard to believe that this is our Willow. Wait!" Xander's face lit up as an idea came to him and he spun to look at Buffy. "Maybe this is one of those alternate reality Willows. You know, still gay and kinda uberPMS but minus the skank. Although that does deprive us of the leather-"
"Xander", interrupted Buffy. "Did you and Anya forget to close the door to the shop last night?"
"No." Xander turned to find the shop door slightly ajar.
Buffy put her finger to her lips, signally Xander to be quiet as she slowly inched towards the door, slayer senses at full alert. They paused briefly at the entrance, listening for any sounds that would indicate an intruder still lied within. When no noises greeted their ears Buffy slowly pushed the door open and they cautiously stepped inside.
The store was a shambles. Books were strewn about the floor, shelves overturned and broken. The display case had been shattered and the cash register thrown to the floor. The research table seemed to be untouched but two of its chairs had been smashed.
Buffy and Xander took in the destruction, stunned. Buffy turned to Xander.
"Anya's going to take this out of my paycheck isn't she?"
******
Tara walked listlessly down the university hallway. She had attended her 8am Art History class but hadn't registered a word the professor had said. It didn't matter. Nothing did. Not without Willow.
Once she had been terribly interested in Art History, particularly paintings depicting people. She would spend hours looking at a painting, creating stories about the people in them, who they were and what there lives were like. Smiling she recalled the first time she had tried to interest Willow in art.
****** "What do you see in this one?" Tara asked. They were curled up on their bed, Tara sitting behind Willow, the redhead reclined snuggly back against her, an Art History book open on her lap. Willow looked at the picture of the painting. "It's a girl, in a field." she stated matter-of-factly.
Tara playfully rolled her eyes even though Willow couldn't see it. Sometimes Willow was just too literal. 'Must be the scientist in her.' "Yes it is but it's more than that. Look closer."
"It's a girl in a field wearing a blue dress?" Willow teased.
Tara, feigning exasperation, reached forward and closed the book. "Fine, you don't want to expand your mind that's ok. Go read the elemental table or something."
As she turned herself slightly to look at Tara, Willow playfully grabbed her lover's arm. She attempted an apologetic face but didn't quite pull it off. Her grin was too big. "I'm sorry Tara. Really. I just don't see anything else. But maybe you could tell me what you see. Oh!" exclaimed Willow. "You could tell me a story about the girl in the picture! I like stories."
Tara grinned. She had never met anyone who liked stories as much as Willow. But she wasn't going to let her off so easily. "I don't know, I'm feeling kinda storied out. Maybe some other time." Tara picked up the book and made to place it on the nightstand. Willow reached out, grasping the book. "But I really want to find out about that girl in the picture." she pouted.
"Well, I suppose I could. If I was properly motivated." A sexy, slightly naughty, grin appeared on Tara's face. Willow arched and eyebrow, her pout instantly vanished, to be replaced by a mischievous grin. "You need motivation huh? Well that shouldn't be too much of a problem", Willow stated as she turned her body fully around and leaned in to nip playfully at the blonde's neck. "I'm really good at motivation."
"Oh, well, that's good", sighed Tara, who was suddenly finding it extremely hard to concentrate. WillowÕs hand withdrew from the book and snaked its way under Tara's blouse, making its way up her body. The book dropped to the floor with a thud. "Good. Yes, very good." moaned Tara, her eyes falling shut.
Willow smiled and raised her head. She brushed her lips lightly over Tara's, allowing her tongue to flicker over the blonds bottom lip. Her hand continued to roam slowly over Tara's chest as she brought her mouth down to her ear. "Let me know when you've had enough "motivation"", she whispered. ******
They hadn't gotten around to the story that night Tara recalled. Lost in reverie she rounded a corner and slammed into another student. "Oh sorry. I wasn't paying attention" apologized Tara.
"That's ok I... oh hey, Tara right?" inquired the boy.
Tara blinked, looking at the boy for the first time. She recognized him as a jock from her Lit class. He was always smiling at her from across the room. "Yeah, t-that's right. I'm afraid I d-don't know your name." Tara gave him a weak smile as she tried to formulate an escape plan.
"Chris. I'm quarterback for the university team", he beamed, "Which probably sounds incredibly big headed of me to say like that." A charming smile lit his face as he suavely leaned against the wall. "It's just I was getting ready to ask you to come watch one of the games and I thought, you know, that would be a relevant piece of information."
"Oh well, I" As Tara struggled to come up with a polite way to decline the invitation a door opened just down the hall. Out of the corner of her eye Tara caught a wisp of red hair. Forgetting she was in the middle of making an excuse she turned her head fully and saw Willow standing in the hall with a professor she recognized. Professor Sands. He had been one of WillowÕs favorite professors and Buffy had informed her that it was he whom Willow was working for.
Chris rambled on, too caught up in explaining the finer points of football to notice Tara was not paying any attention. "I know you don't know me that well but I thought maybe you'd enjoy coming to a game. And after we could grab a bite to eat. It's going to be a great game. We're playing our archrivals and...". Chris's voice faded into the background as Tara tried to listen in on the conversation Willow and Prof. Sands were having.
"This is wonderful Willow. You won't regret it", Professor Sands said enthusiastically. "Now we leave in a few days so you don't have much time to get things together. I'll see to your papers."
"I'll be ready", Willow replied quietly. "Thank you for this opportunity."
"Don't mention it." He looked at Willow quizzically. "Not that I'm trying to discourage you or anything but are you sure this is what you want? You look a bit upset."
"No. I mean, this is what I want. I just didn't get enough sleep last night." Willow smiled politely. "I have to go. See you Thursday and thanks again." Before Professor Sands could reply Willow turned and walked away.
Alarms were going off in Tara's head. She didn't fully understand what their conversation had been about but she was sure she didn't like what was implied. She decided she had to find out exactly what was going on. Tara had begun to move towards Professor Sands when she realized Chris was still talking to her.
"And we're going to kick their-"
"Umm, Chris. Listen it's nice of you to offer but, well, I like girls. Excuse me." Tara said, dumping politeness for brutal honesty. She rushed towards Professor Sands as he turned to enter his office, leaving a very stunned quarterback in her wake.
"Excuse me Professor Sands!" Tara called out.
"Yes. Can I help you?" he inquired as he turned to see who was addressing him.
"I", Tara paused. 'What should I say?' The truth was obviously out of the question but she sucked at lying. Willow had once pointed out that on the few occasions when she had fibbed to help the Scoobies, little red splotched had appeared all over her neck. Upon further exploration by Willow it was revealed that these splotches also appeared over other areas of her body that were less apparent when she was wearing clothes.
Tara decided she'd have to risk it.
"I was just in the hallway and noticed you talking to Willow, Willow Rosenberg", Tara cautiously began. 'Good, good. Just get the conversation rolling.' "And, well I tried to catch her but I couldn't. Do you know where she was going?" Tara put on her most sincere smile and hoped her red splotches weren't glowing. Or flashing. God she hated lying.
"Sorry. She didn't say. But you might try her at home, or if you like I could pass on a message to her." he offered.
"No! I mean no thank you. It's kind of something I have to tell her in person." Tara's fake smile was starting to hurt. "I'll just see her this weekend."
"Actually you might want to stop by and see her before then." said Professor Sands.
"Why?" Tara held her breath.
"Well she's accepted a position on my expedition to Cyprus and we leave on Thursday."
Tara was starting to feel sick. "Cyprus? H-how long will she be gone?"
"Well most of the team is going for six months but Willow has expressed an interest in staying longer."
Tara's mind was spinning at this new information. Willow was leaving, and it seemed like she might not ever come back. 'Why is she doing this? How can she leave me?' panicked Tara. 'Because you already left her. She thinks you don't care. I have to find her.'
"Oh. Well I'll go look for her right now. Thanks for your help." Tara said as she quickly walked down the hall in the direction Willow had gone.
"Your welcome. Good luck." Professor Sands said as he turned and went back into his office. "Hope she takes care of that rash."
******
Once around the corner Tara broke into a run. She blew down the hall of the Arts building, glancing into the open classrooms she passed in the hopes of spotting Willow. 'Where is she' Tara thought as she burst through the main doors out onto the campus lawn. She quickly glanced around trying to spot Willow. 'Great. The one time Willow leaves the campus before me-.Õ Her eyes fell upon a large oak tree in the more secluded part of the lawn away from the buildings and bustling students. It was a beautiful tree but that wasn't what had caught Tara's eye. No, what had drawn her attention to the tree were the two jean covered long legs sticking out from behind it. Tara's eyes followed the legs down to two feet wearing bright red sneakers with white soles and laces. Willow had once told Tara that the shoes were one of the few things she had saved from her high school days and that she only wore them when she needed to get in touch with her 'inner geek'. Willow hadn't worn then in a very long time.
Slowly, and with not a little nervousness, she approached the tree. As she drew nearer more of Willow came into view. Despite the fact that she was getting closer Willow seemed oblivious to her presence. She sat staring gloomily off into space. Tara stopped a few feet away from her, unsure if she should be closer or farther away. Still Willow gave no indication that she knew Tara was there. After a few moments Tara decided that she should announce her presence.
"Willow?" she said softly, not wanting to startle her.
Willow jumped slightly and looked quickly in Tara's direction, surprise clearly evident on her face.
"Tara!" Willow said, quickly getting to her feet. "What are you doing here?", a frown formed on her face, " You... you shouldn't be here."
"I j-just wanted to see if you w-were alright."
Willow looked at Tara and then at the ground. She was touched that Tara would come looking for her to see if she was ok but her stutter revealed just how nervous she was about being around Willow. "I...I'm fine, really. But you should go. Before I do or say something stupid."
"Actually, me being her to see if your alright isn't the total truth." admitted Tara
"I know."
"You kno-"
"Splotches."
"Oh." Tara mouthed as she reached up to touch her neck.
Willow raised her head and looked questioningly at Tara. "So why are you here?"
"I know about the trip to Cyprus," Tara said, trying to keep her voice non-accusatory. "When were you going to tell us, me, about it?"
Willow, caught of guard by Tara's statement, stared at the blond for a moment, and then looked guiltily at her feet.
Tara watched WillowÕs reaction and then a realization came over her. "You weren't going to tell anyone were you?"
Slowly Willow lifted her head, summoning all her resolve. "No", she said her voice calm and strong. "I'm not in control Tara and I won't stay here and risk hurting everyone I love because I'm too weak to beat this. I won't. I have to go. It's better this way."
"You think running away from the people you love, the people who love you, is going to help you. Willow your one of the strongest people I know. You can beat this." Tara took a step forward and reached out to Willow but Willow stepped back.
"No I'm not. If I was I would have never got myself into this, I would have never hurt you like I did." WillowÕs voice broke with emotion and tears filled her eyes. "I wasn't even thinking about using magic last night Tara. It just happened, and I couldn't stop it. Where was my strength then? And when it was inside me, the magic, I didn't want to stop it anymore. I wanted to let it win." Willow blinked, trying to hold back her tears.
Tara stepped closer to Willow, gently grabbing her arm before she could back away. "The Willow I know, the Willow I fell in love with would never back down from a challenge. She would fight. Like she has fought countless times for her friends and for the lives of people she doesn't even know. Like she fought for me when my family wanted to take me away." Tara looked into Willow's eyes, hoping she was getting through to her.
Willow was silent for a moment, simply gazing into Tara's eyes. Her brow furrowed sadly and the tears she had held at bay finally spilled down her checks. She reached forward with her hand and touched Tara's cheek gently. She knew she shouldn't, that she had no right. But she couldn't help herself. She needed one last caress.
"I'm not that Willow anymore."
Willow's statement knocked the wind out of Tara's lungs. She tried to respond but found she couldn't draw in enough air to speak. Willow brushed her fingertips slowly across Tara's check, savoring the feel.
"You were always the strong one Tara. You were right to leave me. What I did to you... how can I ask you to forgive me when I can never forgive myself?"
Tears flowing freely, Tara cupped Willow's cheek and said what was in her heart. "But I love you Willow."
Willow smiled sadly and leaned in to rest her forehead against Tara's. "And I love you, always. But sometimes that's not enough."
A sob escape Tara as Willow gently kissed her forehead. Willow drew back, taking one last look at Tara, then turned and walked away.
Tara stood under the oak tree watching Willow as she walked away, out of her life. Tears blurred her vision and her legs threatened to buckle. As the last bit of red disappeared on the horizon Tara sunk against the tree. She looked up into the sky, a warm wind softly blowing across her face. Puffy white clouds floated by and the sun shone. Her life had crumbled, how dare the world continue to turn.
TBC....
[This message has been edited by canadian kitty (edited January 30, 2002).]
IP: LoggedTiggrscorpioDoll's Eye Crystal Wonderfully written. Can't wait for more!
------------------
She's my everything!
IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 20:59 OMG, no!!! This is so sad. Please don't let Willow leave.Wonderfully written. Can't wait for more!
------------------
She's my everything!
More? Please?
IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 21:09 *sigh* Willow leaving + coke on an empty stomach = really big tummy rumbles.More? Please?
--Sela
IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 21:11 My guts are officially wrenched. "It's just pretend,it's just pretend," Sela whispers to herself. Great job! Please...smoochies...and soon.--Sela
IP: LoggedGarnerFloating Rose IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 21:50 Comments on part 4 IP: Logged
posted January 30, 2002 23:28 ok they will get together right?by wiltar » Tue Jan 29, 2002 4:17 pm
me wants more
me begging
Okay, enough with the cave-slayer kind of talk. I think this was a great part. I loved how you brought back the memories about Tara's family, although it kinda hurted at the same time...Willow being able to do that to Tara. But you're doing a very good job, and if you are only a little like other kittens you'll make sure we get a happy ending, right?
Patricia
------------------
"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"
by Pixie » Tue Jan 29, 2002 9:25 pm
Okay, I know it's not really obvious, but I really did go to college and I can form coherent, intelligible sentences.
Looking forward to the next part!
by Garner » Wed Jan 30, 2002 12:04 am
by mollyig » Wed Jan 30, 2002 12:09 pm
And I thought this line was funny:
"You look like Xander when Dawn asks for his help with math."
------------------
Now that I know there's something to know, I can't *not* know, just because I'm afraid
somebody'll know I know, you know?
by ForeverPiper » Wed Jan 30, 2002 3:01 pm
by Charlie » Wed Jan 30, 2002 5:50 pm
------------------
"Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambé"
by canadian kitty » Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:32 pm
Title: Reunited
Rating: PG
Couples: W/T
Spoilers: Oh yeah, right up to Gone. If you're trying to stay clean then flee! Flee now!
Notes: Willow and Tara are the main focus of this story, however I tried to write it as I thought it might play out on the show (Pffff! Listen to me. As if this piece of crud will ever even remotely resemble the brilliant plot twists Josh has planned for us this season) so all main characters have their scenes. Think of it as a W/T centric episode with all those annoying filler scenes revolving around the other, less important characters, as sandwich breaks.
Archiving: Umm, ok. But asked first.
Feedback: Sure. Take special care to point out all the plot holes and dumbass mistakes. Although I think Rane has saved me from most of the impending embarrassment.
Copyright: In the fantasy world in which I spend most of my time BTVS, all its characters, spin-offs, comic books, animated series, merchandise, etc, are mine all mine. But in the real world, a place I rarely visit, they belong to some guy called Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: I am way too long-winded to sum up this story in a few lines.
Thanks: I humbly bow to my magnificent beta reader Rane, without whom this story would certainly never have been written, let alone posted. Oh great Weevil Faerie Otter Princess I know you and Ruth share a miraculous love but, marry me?
Part 5
The world had turned pink.
Willow was momentarily confused by that fact until she realized she had her face mushed into a pink stuffed elephant. Then she registered she was in her old room. She sat up slowly, her whole body aching like she had just run a marathon. 'Why am I in my old room? And why am I still in the clothes.... Oh God.' As the memories of last night flooded back to her she could feel the bile rising in her throat. She rushed for the bathroom, making it only just in time. Her stomach emptied itself of its contents. When finished she set back against the wall, her palms spread out on the cool tile. Tears splashed down her face onto her shirt.
When she'd arrived home last night she'd been a total wreck. Her body had still tingled from the magic but the horror of what she had done had shocked her out of the high she usually felt when she did a spell. Once inside her parent's house she had sunk to the floor, her back resting against the door, and cried. The next thing she had been aware of was Buffy softly knocking on the door.
Buffy had wanted to come in, to make sure that she was alright, but Willow had refused to open the door. Part of her had wanted to fling it open and hug Buffy, letting her provide the comfort she was offering. She had wanted Buffy to take her home. But Willow knew she couldn't do that. She was dangerous. So instead she had calmly told Buffy that she wouldn't be coming home, that she'd be moving out. And to her sorrow Buffy had been relieved. Oh, she hadn't said it but Willow could hear it in her voice. And she didn't blame her. She was dangerous.
'I used magic. I didn't even think, it just happened, like...like it was in control.' Her mind reeled at this last thought. 'I can't control it. I hurt them. I hurt Tara. I hurt her with my magic. Again. She'll never forgive me now. Ever. I had a chance, she still cared, I know she did. But now...'
Willow put her hands to her face and sobbed. She wasn't sure how long she sat there. It didn't matter. Tara and her friends would never trust her now. She was dangerous. How could she help them fight evil when they couldn't trust her, when it was her that could hurt them and not a demon?
Willow sniffled and wiped her eyes. 'I was right last night; I can't be around them anymore. I almost killed Dawn and now Tara and Buffy. No, I have to stay away from them.' Willow lifted herself of the floor and peered into the mirror. She looked tired. Dark circles rested under her eyes and her face was white and thin. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Part of her wanted to sink back to the floor, curl up into a ball and shut herself off from the rest of the world forever. But the other part of her, the part Buffy had seen under layers of shy nerd, the part that had spent the last six years of her life helping save the world time and time again knew what had to be done. Willow opened her eyes. Her reflection stared back at her, wearing resolve face.
******
"Thanks for doing this Buff", commented Xander as he parked his car close to the Magic Box. "I thought Anya was going to have an aneurysm when the bank wouldn't schedule her meeting before regular business hours."
"No problem. I kinda need the money. Besides, opening the Magic Box for Anya beats sitting home worrying about Willow. Now I get to do that while selling uncooperative mummy hands and smelly possum livers." Buffy said with a wryly smile
"Speaking of whom. Have you talked to her since last night?" inquired Xander as he and Buffy got out of his car.
"No. I called this morning but there was no answer." Buffy peered over the roof of the car at Xander. "This is all so weird. I keep expecting this to all be the fault of some demon or something. Like, we'll find out that Willow's been possessed or had some kind of voodoo mind control thingy done on her."
Xander shot Buffy a sympathetic look and started towards the Magic Shop, Buffy falling into step beside him. "I know. It's so hard to believe that this is our Willow. Wait!" Xander's face lit up as an idea came to him and he spun to look at Buffy. "Maybe this is one of those alternate reality Willows. You know, still gay and kinda uberPMS but minus the skank. Although that does deprive us of the leather-"
"Xander", interrupted Buffy. "Did you and Anya forget to close the door to the shop last night?"
"No." Xander turned to find the shop door slightly ajar.
Buffy put her finger to her lips, signally Xander to be quiet as she slowly inched towards the door, slayer senses at full alert. They paused briefly at the entrance, listening for any sounds that would indicate an intruder still lied within. When no noises greeted their ears Buffy slowly pushed the door open and they cautiously stepped inside.
The store was a shambles. Books were strewn about the floor, shelves overturned and broken. The display case had been shattered and the cash register thrown to the floor. The research table seemed to be untouched but two of its chairs had been smashed.
Buffy and Xander took in the destruction, stunned. Buffy turned to Xander.
"Anya's going to take this out of my paycheck isn't she?"
******
Tara walked listlessly down the university hallway. She had attended her 8am Art History class but hadn't registered a word the professor had said. It didn't matter. Nothing did. Not without Willow.
Once she had been terribly interested in Art History, particularly paintings depicting people. She would spend hours looking at a painting, creating stories about the people in them, who they were and what there lives were like. Smiling she recalled the first time she had tried to interest Willow in art.
****** "What do you see in this one?" Tara asked. They were curled up on their bed, Tara sitting behind Willow, the redhead reclined snuggly back against her, an Art History book open on her lap. Willow looked at the picture of the painting. "It's a girl, in a field." she stated matter-of-factly.
Tara playfully rolled her eyes even though Willow couldn't see it. Sometimes Willow was just too literal. 'Must be the scientist in her.' "Yes it is but it's more than that. Look closer."
"It's a girl in a field wearing a blue dress?" Willow teased.
Tara, feigning exasperation, reached forward and closed the book. "Fine, you don't want to expand your mind that's ok. Go read the elemental table or something."
As she turned herself slightly to look at Tara, Willow playfully grabbed her lover's arm. She attempted an apologetic face but didn't quite pull it off. Her grin was too big. "I'm sorry Tara. Really. I just don't see anything else. But maybe you could tell me what you see. Oh!" exclaimed Willow. "You could tell me a story about the girl in the picture! I like stories."
Tara grinned. She had never met anyone who liked stories as much as Willow. But she wasn't going to let her off so easily. "I don't know, I'm feeling kinda storied out. Maybe some other time." Tara picked up the book and made to place it on the nightstand. Willow reached out, grasping the book. "But I really want to find out about that girl in the picture." she pouted.
"Well, I suppose I could. If I was properly motivated." A sexy, slightly naughty, grin appeared on Tara's face. Willow arched and eyebrow, her pout instantly vanished, to be replaced by a mischievous grin. "You need motivation huh? Well that shouldn't be too much of a problem", Willow stated as she turned her body fully around and leaned in to nip playfully at the blonde's neck. "I'm really good at motivation."
"Oh, well, that's good", sighed Tara, who was suddenly finding it extremely hard to concentrate. WillowÕs hand withdrew from the book and snaked its way under Tara's blouse, making its way up her body. The book dropped to the floor with a thud. "Good. Yes, very good." moaned Tara, her eyes falling shut.
Willow smiled and raised her head. She brushed her lips lightly over Tara's, allowing her tongue to flicker over the blonds bottom lip. Her hand continued to roam slowly over Tara's chest as she brought her mouth down to her ear. "Let me know when you've had enough "motivation"", she whispered. ******
They hadn't gotten around to the story that night Tara recalled. Lost in reverie she rounded a corner and slammed into another student. "Oh sorry. I wasn't paying attention" apologized Tara.
"That's ok I... oh hey, Tara right?" inquired the boy.
Tara blinked, looking at the boy for the first time. She recognized him as a jock from her Lit class. He was always smiling at her from across the room. "Yeah, t-that's right. I'm afraid I d-don't know your name." Tara gave him a weak smile as she tried to formulate an escape plan.
"Chris. I'm quarterback for the university team", he beamed, "Which probably sounds incredibly big headed of me to say like that." A charming smile lit his face as he suavely leaned against the wall. "It's just I was getting ready to ask you to come watch one of the games and I thought, you know, that would be a relevant piece of information."
"Oh well, I" As Tara struggled to come up with a polite way to decline the invitation a door opened just down the hall. Out of the corner of her eye Tara caught a wisp of red hair. Forgetting she was in the middle of making an excuse she turned her head fully and saw Willow standing in the hall with a professor she recognized. Professor Sands. He had been one of WillowÕs favorite professors and Buffy had informed her that it was he whom Willow was working for.
Chris rambled on, too caught up in explaining the finer points of football to notice Tara was not paying any attention. "I know you don't know me that well but I thought maybe you'd enjoy coming to a game. And after we could grab a bite to eat. It's going to be a great game. We're playing our archrivals and...". Chris's voice faded into the background as Tara tried to listen in on the conversation Willow and Prof. Sands were having.
"This is wonderful Willow. You won't regret it", Professor Sands said enthusiastically. "Now we leave in a few days so you don't have much time to get things together. I'll see to your papers."
"I'll be ready", Willow replied quietly. "Thank you for this opportunity."
"Don't mention it." He looked at Willow quizzically. "Not that I'm trying to discourage you or anything but are you sure this is what you want? You look a bit upset."
"No. I mean, this is what I want. I just didn't get enough sleep last night." Willow smiled politely. "I have to go. See you Thursday and thanks again." Before Professor Sands could reply Willow turned and walked away.
Alarms were going off in Tara's head. She didn't fully understand what their conversation had been about but she was sure she didn't like what was implied. She decided she had to find out exactly what was going on. Tara had begun to move towards Professor Sands when she realized Chris was still talking to her.
"And we're going to kick their-"
"Umm, Chris. Listen it's nice of you to offer but, well, I like girls. Excuse me." Tara said, dumping politeness for brutal honesty. She rushed towards Professor Sands as he turned to enter his office, leaving a very stunned quarterback in her wake.
"Excuse me Professor Sands!" Tara called out.
"Yes. Can I help you?" he inquired as he turned to see who was addressing him.
"I", Tara paused. 'What should I say?' The truth was obviously out of the question but she sucked at lying. Willow had once pointed out that on the few occasions when she had fibbed to help the Scoobies, little red splotched had appeared all over her neck. Upon further exploration by Willow it was revealed that these splotches also appeared over other areas of her body that were less apparent when she was wearing clothes.
Tara decided she'd have to risk it.
"I was just in the hallway and noticed you talking to Willow, Willow Rosenberg", Tara cautiously began. 'Good, good. Just get the conversation rolling.' "And, well I tried to catch her but I couldn't. Do you know where she was going?" Tara put on her most sincere smile and hoped her red splotches weren't glowing. Or flashing. God she hated lying.
"Sorry. She didn't say. But you might try her at home, or if you like I could pass on a message to her." he offered.
"No! I mean no thank you. It's kind of something I have to tell her in person." Tara's fake smile was starting to hurt. "I'll just see her this weekend."
"Actually you might want to stop by and see her before then." said Professor Sands.
"Why?" Tara held her breath.
"Well she's accepted a position on my expedition to Cyprus and we leave on Thursday."
Tara was starting to feel sick. "Cyprus? H-how long will she be gone?"
"Well most of the team is going for six months but Willow has expressed an interest in staying longer."
Tara's mind was spinning at this new information. Willow was leaving, and it seemed like she might not ever come back. 'Why is she doing this? How can she leave me?' panicked Tara. 'Because you already left her. She thinks you don't care. I have to find her.'
"Oh. Well I'll go look for her right now. Thanks for your help." Tara said as she quickly walked down the hall in the direction Willow had gone.
"Your welcome. Good luck." Professor Sands said as he turned and went back into his office. "Hope she takes care of that rash."
******
Once around the corner Tara broke into a run. She blew down the hall of the Arts building, glancing into the open classrooms she passed in the hopes of spotting Willow. 'Where is she' Tara thought as she burst through the main doors out onto the campus lawn. She quickly glanced around trying to spot Willow. 'Great. The one time Willow leaves the campus before me-.Õ Her eyes fell upon a large oak tree in the more secluded part of the lawn away from the buildings and bustling students. It was a beautiful tree but that wasn't what had caught Tara's eye. No, what had drawn her attention to the tree were the two jean covered long legs sticking out from behind it. Tara's eyes followed the legs down to two feet wearing bright red sneakers with white soles and laces. Willow had once told Tara that the shoes were one of the few things she had saved from her high school days and that she only wore them when she needed to get in touch with her 'inner geek'. Willow hadn't worn then in a very long time.
Slowly, and with not a little nervousness, she approached the tree. As she drew nearer more of Willow came into view. Despite the fact that she was getting closer Willow seemed oblivious to her presence. She sat staring gloomily off into space. Tara stopped a few feet away from her, unsure if she should be closer or farther away. Still Willow gave no indication that she knew Tara was there. After a few moments Tara decided that she should announce her presence.
"Willow?" she said softly, not wanting to startle her.
Willow jumped slightly and looked quickly in Tara's direction, surprise clearly evident on her face.
"Tara!" Willow said, quickly getting to her feet. "What are you doing here?", a frown formed on her face, " You... you shouldn't be here."
"I j-just wanted to see if you w-were alright."
Willow looked at Tara and then at the ground. She was touched that Tara would come looking for her to see if she was ok but her stutter revealed just how nervous she was about being around Willow. "I...I'm fine, really. But you should go. Before I do or say something stupid."
"Actually, me being her to see if your alright isn't the total truth." admitted Tara
"I know."
"You kno-"
"Splotches."
"Oh." Tara mouthed as she reached up to touch her neck.
Willow raised her head and looked questioningly at Tara. "So why are you here?"
"I know about the trip to Cyprus," Tara said, trying to keep her voice non-accusatory. "When were you going to tell us, me, about it?"
Willow, caught of guard by Tara's statement, stared at the blond for a moment, and then looked guiltily at her feet.
Tara watched WillowÕs reaction and then a realization came over her. "You weren't going to tell anyone were you?"
Slowly Willow lifted her head, summoning all her resolve. "No", she said her voice calm and strong. "I'm not in control Tara and I won't stay here and risk hurting everyone I love because I'm too weak to beat this. I won't. I have to go. It's better this way."
"You think running away from the people you love, the people who love you, is going to help you. Willow your one of the strongest people I know. You can beat this." Tara took a step forward and reached out to Willow but Willow stepped back.
"No I'm not. If I was I would have never got myself into this, I would have never hurt you like I did." WillowÕs voice broke with emotion and tears filled her eyes. "I wasn't even thinking about using magic last night Tara. It just happened, and I couldn't stop it. Where was my strength then? And when it was inside me, the magic, I didn't want to stop it anymore. I wanted to let it win." Willow blinked, trying to hold back her tears.
Tara stepped closer to Willow, gently grabbing her arm before she could back away. "The Willow I know, the Willow I fell in love with would never back down from a challenge. She would fight. Like she has fought countless times for her friends and for the lives of people she doesn't even know. Like she fought for me when my family wanted to take me away." Tara looked into Willow's eyes, hoping she was getting through to her.
Willow was silent for a moment, simply gazing into Tara's eyes. Her brow furrowed sadly and the tears she had held at bay finally spilled down her checks. She reached forward with her hand and touched Tara's cheek gently. She knew she shouldn't, that she had no right. But she couldn't help herself. She needed one last caress.
"I'm not that Willow anymore."
Willow's statement knocked the wind out of Tara's lungs. She tried to respond but found she couldn't draw in enough air to speak. Willow brushed her fingertips slowly across Tara's check, savoring the feel.
"You were always the strong one Tara. You were right to leave me. What I did to you... how can I ask you to forgive me when I can never forgive myself?"
Tears flowing freely, Tara cupped Willow's cheek and said what was in her heart. "But I love you Willow."
Willow smiled sadly and leaned in to rest her forehead against Tara's. "And I love you, always. But sometimes that's not enough."
A sob escape Tara as Willow gently kissed her forehead. Willow drew back, taking one last look at Tara, then turned and walked away.
Tara stood under the oak tree watching Willow as she walked away, out of her life. Tears blurred her vision and her legs threatened to buckle. As the last bit of red disappeared on the horizon Tara sunk against the tree. She looked up into the sky, a warm wind softly blowing across her face. Puffy white clouds floated by and the sun shone. Her life had crumbled, how dare the world continue to turn.
TBC....
[This message has been edited by canadian kitty (edited January 30, 2002).]
by Tiggrscorpio » Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:59 pm
Wonderfully written. Can't wait for more!
------------------
She's my everything!
by willow_thebadasswitch » Wed Jan 30, 2002 7:09 pm
More? Please?
by Sela » Wed Jan 30, 2002 7:11 pm
--Sela
by Garner » Wed Jan 30, 2002 7:50 pm
by deamoon » Wed Jan 30, 2002 9:28 pm
by BytrSuite » Wed Jan 30, 2002 9:42 pm
Hope your head feels better soon.
That last part was just heartbreaking. If there hadn't been people around I would have started crying.
Please, please, please let them have a happy ending.
Lovely story thus far, though. Got me hooked.
by Thanatopsis » Wed Jan 30, 2002 11:13 pm
quote:
Her life had crumbled, how dare the world continue to turn.
T
------------------
DAWN: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
ANYA: Oh my god, did it sing?
[This message has been edited by Thanatopsis (edited January 31, 2002).]
quote:by Garner » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:18 am
by mollyig » Thu Jan 31, 2002 2:32 am
Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
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Now that I know there's something to know, I can't *not* know, just because I'm afraid
somebody'll know I know, you know?
by Kirk B » Thu Jan 31, 2002 10:06 am
See, THIS is one of the reasons I like Spike so much.
He is able to recognize and expose the truth in a way nobody else (including Anya, because she's limited in her understanding of human emotions) can.
Rack continues to be an SOB, but I was interested to see Doc's involvement. And I get the feeling this Professor isn't everything he's cracked up to be. He comes out of nowhere and now he's sticking out just a little too much. Maybe I'm wrong, but I smell something fishy here.
BTW, in case it didn't come across, great story.
------------------
Kirk B
"A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold.”
Hear that baby? You're my always.
I got so lost.
I found you. I will always find you.
by Charlie » Thu Jan 31, 2002 11:46 am
Oh and... "Umm, Chris. Listen it's nice of you to offer but, well, I like girls. Excuse me." Bless him! I felt so sorry for the poor guy!
Great story, I really am loving it. More please!
------------------
"Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambé..."
- Eddie 'covered in beeeees!' Izzard
by bearskeeper » Thu Jan 31, 2002 1:00 pm
by canadian kitty » Fri Feb 01, 2002 6:07 pm
Willow_thebadasswitch: sorry about the tummy rumblings. Remember, if youÕre going to sue, Coca Cola has way more money than me.
Sela: well IÕve heard that thereÕs nothing wrong with a good gut wrenching, as long as they get unwrenched in the end. Of course since this is my first fic and you donÕt know me I could be one of those sadist fic writer who end their fics with broken hearts. Wahahahah!!
Mollyig: MaybeÉ but those pesky titles can be deceiving sometime, with all kinds of double meanings *winks as she knowingly prances over to the fridge for another Heineken thinking she is ohh so clever. She stubs her big toe on the way back and figures the universe is telling her to stop being such a smart ass. *
Kirk B: IÕm right there with you on the Spike thing. ItÕs what I love about the character. I was a little skeptical of the chip thing at first but then I realized how many more opportunities Spike would have to pick at everyoneÕs insecurities from the inside. ItÕs also why I hope they donÕt push him any further into Ôgood guyÕ territory. I fear heÕll lose his touch.
Oh and Prof. Sands is just your regular, everyday, kind, helpful university professor. Wait a minuteÉ Oh My God!!É maybe he is evil.
Garner: In reply to your general grammar comments: The story is already written and I have read it over so many times that IÕm no longer able to catch the spelling and grammer mistakes even though I do read it before I post and it has been beta read. However please keep your suggestion coming. It allows me to correct things IÕve missed and mull over how IÕve written certain sentences.
And as for the magik thing, while I do agree with you, real magik and tv land magik are two different animals, at least to me. It may not be real but man does it make it easier to play with.
yeah, part 5 seemed to just flow from my pen with ease. I love it when that happens. Ohh would that it occurred more often.
Tiggrscopio, deamoon, BytrSuite, Thanatopsis, Xita, Charlie, and bearskeeper: Thanks so much for your encouragement. IÕm glad youÕre enjoying the story so far. Hopefully I havenÕt let the story get away from me and wonÕt disappoint in later chapters.
Title: Reunited
Rating: PG
Couples: W/T
Spoilers: Oh yeah, right up to Gone. If you're trying to stay clean then flee! Flee now!
Notes: Willow and Tara are the main focus of this story, however I tried to write it as I thought it might play out on the show (Pffff! Listen to me. As if this piece of crud will ever even remotely resemble the brilliant plot twists Josh has planned for us this season) so all main characters have their scenes. Think of it as a W/T centric episode with all those annoying filler scenes revolving around the other, less important characters, as sandwich breaks.
Archiving: Umm, ok. But asked first.
Feedback: Sure. Take special care to point out all the plot holes and dumbass mistakes. Although I think Rane has saved me from most of the impending embarrassment.
Copyright: In the fantasy world in which I spend most of my time BTVS, all its characters, spin-offs, comic books, animated series, merchandise, etc, are mine all mine. But in the real world, a place I rarely visit, they belong to some guy called Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: I am way too long-winded to sum up this story in a few lines.
Thanks: I humbly bow to my magnificent beta reader Rane, without whom this story would certainly never have been written, let alone posted. Oh great Weevil Faerie Otter Princess I know you and Ruth share a miraculous love but, marry me?
Part 6
Tara walked aimlessly down the street. She had stopped crying a little while ago but the remnants of her tears still stained her face and more threatened to spill forth. Despite everything that had happened to her and Willow in the last month, Tara had always held out hope that they would find each other again. Yes, she had left, but she had never really intended to go very far. She had needed space, time to think things over, to decide whether she could forgive Willow.
At first she hadn't thought she could. What Willow had done was so deep a violation that Tara believed it would forever separate them. But that had been her initial reaction, when anger and betrayal had reign supreme, leaving little room for anything else. She had filled the self-imposed space from Willow with hours of quiet contemplation and inner debate, and slowly, Tara had realized that maybe she had been wrong.
She had thought about all the ways Willow made her laugh, smile, feel special; the many things she had discovered about herself since meeting Willow and how much she'd grown because of Willow's love; how Willow had stood by her when she'd believed Tara was a demon; and how Willow had show total devotion to her by caring for her when she'd been hurt by Glory.
All these things had led Tara to one conclusion. Willow loved her and she loved Willow. And that meant that their relationship could be saved. But only if Willow saved herself first. So Tara had waited, praying that Willow would find her way.
Then the accident with Dawn had happened and Willow hit bottom. But she hadn't stayed there. She'd realized all she'd done was wrong and had begun to try and atone for those wrongs. So Tara had begun to hope.
And that hope had grown stronger everyday. Until today. Until Willow had uttered those horrible words. ÔI'm not that Willow anymore.Õ They echoed in Tara's head as she continued to wander along the street. Willow had given up. With that admission all the hope that Tara had been stockpiling for a future with Willow had drained away.
"Tara! Hey Tara!" Anya shouted as she crossed the street to meet her.
Tara glanced up, subconsciously rubbing her face with her hands in an attempt to hide the fact she'd been crying. "Hi Anya".
Anya looked Tara over. She didn't need to be a thousand year old demon to know that Tara was very upset.
"I am unsure of what to do in this instance. Should I enquire about what is making you upset or is this one of those times when I should ignore your pain and talk about inconsequential things?" queried Anya.
Tara smiled slightly. Leave it to Anya to get her to smile on a day like this.
"You can do whichever one you want."
"Well obviously I would prefer to talk about the inconsequential things. But you're my friend so please, share your pain." Without notice Anya hugged Tara tightly. Tara's eyes brimmed with tears, Anya's unique brand of comfort touching her. Anya released her hold and patted Tara's arm. "The Magic Box is just around the corner. You can depress me there."
They walked to the shop in silence. As Anya opened the door she looked over her shoulder at Tara. "Just let me make sure Buffy hasn't demolished the shop and then we'll... OH MY GOD!!" Anya shrieked as she turned and entered the shop. "What happened to my shop?!"
Her eyes quickly swept the room, finally landing on two figures cowering slightly behind the counter. "Xander!"
"It's ok An I'm-"
"Where's the money!? Dear god, is the money all right?!"
"-fine." finished Xander.
"I know your fine, you're standing right there, with all your limbs. But where's the money? Has the money been endangered?"
"Breath Anya", said Buffy. "It's right here. The register got knocked over but the money's ok."
"What did you do?" accused Anya, looking squarely at Buffy.
"I didn't do anything. It was like this when we got here. Someone broke in last night."
"And they didn't kidnap the money. What kind of criminal doesn't kidnap the money?" Anya asked highly confused.
"What did they take?" inquired Tara approaching the counter. Suddenly her magical senses tingled with a familiar feeling. She looked over the counter. The safe was open, its door lying on the floor. She walked around to examine it.
"Well things are pretty much a mess but as far as we can tell the only thing missing is the ruby amulet," reported Buffy. "It looks like they did everything else for the fun of it."
Anya's face became serious as she walked over to Buffy and gripped her arms. "You have to kill them."
"Easy An." Xander said as he peeled Anya's hands off Buffy.
"They used magic," commented Tara from behind the counter. "That's how they got the safe open, and how they did all this." she swept her arm in the air to indicate the mess in the rest of the shop. "I can sense it everywhere."
"Well I'm gonna go with our perps being those Sub'ordii demons. They seemed pretty interested in that amulet." offered Xander.
"Perps? You've be watching too much Law and Order." commented Buffy.
"There's something else." Tara stood and looked at the group. "This magic, I've felt it before. Twice at the cemetery last night, when Willow..." Tara's voice dropped off at WillowÕs name and she hung her head, allowing her hair to hide the emotions playing across her face.
"Wait." interjected Buffy. "Are you saying that you think Willow might have done this?"
"No, I don't think it was Willow but... it's hard to explain," she looked up at the Scoobies and folded her arms across her waist. With a sigh she continued. "Each magic user leaves a, well a signature behind when they do a spell. Two witches can do the same magic, the same spell, but the way they do it, the way they channel the energy, will be different."
"Like a super magical version of our poor mortal written signature? joked Xander.
"Right. Because Willow and I were" Tara paused at her use of past tense, "so close I'd recognize her signature anywhere. And this isn't it, but I did first sense it when Willow summoned magic last night. I didn't really think about it at the time, things were kind of crazy. And then after, when we were leaving I...I was just so upset I thought I might have been imagining things. But now, now I'm sure I wasn't and that meansÉ" Tara wasn't sure she dared finish her sentence. Verbalizing it meant giving it form and that might lead to hoping. But hoping had betrayed her so many times. As it was she didn't have to worry. Buffy had caught on and finished her sentence for her.
"That there could have been someone or something else at the cemetery last night messing with Willow." Buffy stated firmly. A moment passed as what this meant sunk in.
"So your saying Willow might not have gone all black eyed on her own?" asked Xander, always needing things clarified in plain English.
"I... I'm not sure. Maybe." Tara didn't want to raise their hopes; she didn't want to raise her own. "It's a possibility but it could have nothing to do with Willow."
"I don't believe in coincidences, at least not on the Hellmouth. Something's definitely up." asserted Buffy. "And the sooner we figure out what, the sooner I can kill them for messing with Willow."
"Well I guess we can rule out it being the Sub'ordii demons then." Xander added . "I mean they were there the first time Tara felt this thing but they were extra crispy before she felt it the second time."
"That's true. Tara, is there anyway to track the caster down by using this magical signature? asked Buffy.
"Well, maybe. I'd have to do some research."
"Or we could just look at the tape." commented Anya as she affectionately caressed the money.
"What?" asked Xander as three confused heads turned to look at Anya.
"The tape." Eyebrows arched and Anya realized that further explanation would be needed. "The surveillance tape. I had a few cameras installed after Giles left. I wanted to do it before but he said no. Kept going on about people still being trust worthy or something. I mean what dimension is he living in?"
Buffy shot her a look that Anya recognized as the slayers non-verbal way of saying Ôget to the pointÕ.
"Anyway, I thought that with all the things that go on here it was only a matter of time before something like this happened and it would be nice to have a picture of the demon Buffy needed to kill for me. After she took its money to pay for damages of course."
"An, could we please look at the tape." Xander quickly asked. Buffy looked like she was about to pop after being described as Anya's personal thug.
"It's in the back."
The gang followed Anya into the workout room where she revealed a rather high tech surveillance system hidden behind one of the weapon boards on the wall.
"Wow. It's like having a replica of Voyager's security console of our very own." Xander giggled with glee as he reached forward to fiddle with the various buttons and knobs. But Anya quickly smacked his hand away.
"Ow!"
"Don't touch anything. This was very expensive and if you break it there will be no orgasms for a week."
"Anya please just show us the tape." pleaded Tara. Despite what she had said earlier a small part of her worried about what might be on the tape. She didn't think the magical signature she felt was Willow's but how could she be sure. Perhaps Willow's use of dark magic had changed it, making it unrecognizable to Tara. The thought made her sick but she couldn't help but face that it might be true. As Anya pressed the playback button Tara held her breath.
The placement of the camera at the back of the Magic Box gave an unobstructed view of the shop looking towards the front door. The first part of the tape showed the Magic Box empty so Anya fast-forwarded.
For several minutes the tape sped forward, showing a quiet shop. Suddenly the front door opened. Anya again slowed the tape. A man was the first to enter. He had long scraggly hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in years. His face wore a scowl and his eyes were cold. Everything about him screamed danger.
"Who the hell is that?" demanded Buffy. No one had ever seen him before.
He made his way cautiously into the shop. His head turned from side to side as he looked around the room. After a few moments he seemed to decide that it was empty. Turning back towards the door he shouted something and a girl enter. She walked meekly up to the man, head down, looking at the floor. He pointed in the direction of the back of the shop, giving her instructions and then walked over to the counter, flinging the cash register to the floor.
"Him!" screamed Anya as she looked at Buffy. "Inflict pain on him!"
"Anya" said both Xander and Buffy wearily.
"But he willingly endangered the money. He must be punished!"
"Yes An, and I'm sure-"
"Oh God!" Tara exclaimed quietly. While Buffy and Xander had been trying to calm Anya, Tara had been looking at the girl on the screen. The girl had watched the man push the register to the floor and then had turned towards the camera, looking almost directly into it.
The rest of the gang turned quickly back to the screen. Buffy recognized her immediately. "That's Amy." she said in disbelief.
"And if that's Amy that means that the guy is probably-" started Xander.
"Rack." stated Tara. Things were moving much to fast for her. The room seemed to suddenly have a shortage of oxygen and Tara was struggling to keep her breathing regular or to keep breathing at all.
"Damn"! cursed Buffy. "This means he was at the cemetery. Willow didn't use magic, at least not of her own free will." Buffy ground her teeth and her hands curled into fists. "I am so going to kill him."
'Willow didn't use magic. She was being strong. She didn't stumble. She didn't choose the magic over me. Not this time.' Once again reality shifted for Tara as these realizations came to her. All the hope that had bled away from her that morning came rushing back. 'I have to find her. She has to know that it wasn't her. This will change everything. She won't leave. I have to get to her before-Ô Panic washed over Tara. Rack.' Whatever the importance of the amulet to Rack, it seemed clear that he was obsessed with Willow and that somehow, whether Willow knew it or not, she was caught up in his plan. And that meant she was in danger.
"We have to find Willow. She could be in danger." Tara rushed from the room before anyone could reply, intent on finding Willow.
"Tara. Tara wait." yelled Buffy as she ran after her. She caught her before she reached the door and gently turned her around.
"No. I have to go to her. She thinks it's all her fault. She thinks she was weak and she's going to leave. Rack could be after her right now. I have to find her." Words spilled rapidly from Tara's mouth as she struggled to break free from Buffy's grip. Tears ran down her face.
"Tara, I know. But you shouldn't go alone. This Rack guy looks mean. I'll go with you." soothed Buffy. She locked eyes with Tara. "We'll find her." she promised.
Buffy turned to Xander and Anya as they entered the room from the back. "You guys stay here. We need to know what is going on and why everyone seems to want that amulet. Find me some answers." She gently pushed Tara towards the door. "We'll find Willow and on the way you can explain to me what you meant when you said she's leaving."
******
Willow shoved the rest of her things into the suitcase. She had arrived at the Summer's house an hour ago, relieved to find neither of the Summer sisters at home. After her morning conversation with Tara she really just couldn't have taken any more heartbreak. She had had more than her far share of that lately.
She understood why Tara had been upset over her leaving and not telling anyone. She remembered how devastated sheÕd been when she'd caught Oz trying to do the same thing. But the tears that had followed Willow's admittance that she was indeed leaving were exactly why she had wanted to silently disappear. She had given Tara reason to cry far too many times lately and she had hoped to lessen TaraÕs pain by slipping away quietly. And even if it hadn't, she wouldn't have had to watch the tears her departure would have caused. 'God, I'm such a coward' she chastised herself. But Willow couldn't help it. She couldn't stand any more pain. She had to get away or it would devour her until nothing else was left.
She looked around the room to ensure she had everything. Her eyes fell on the desk and the dolls eye crystal. Her mind wandered back to the day before when Tara had been in this very room, touching her face, helping her. Sadness filled Willow as she stepped forward to pick up the crystal. A knock on the front door interrupted her. For a moment she toyed with the idea of not answering it but then the knock sounded again, this time much more urgently. She quickly exited the room, leaving the crystal on the desk, and descended the stairs.
Willow opened the door to find Amy standing on the porch.
"Amy. What...what are you doing here? I told you I don't want to see you anymore. Not while you're still involved with Rack." Willow stated as she began to close the door.
"No wait." Amy pressed a hand against the door to slow its progress. "I mean, I know that, but I'm not hanging around Rack anymore."
The door stopped closing and Willow's head appeared in the crack. "Are you lying?" she asked skeptically.
"No. Really. I'm trying to give up magic. Like you. But it's kinda hard and stuff. I just though that maybe you could give me some advice or something.Ó Amy leaned in closer to the opening, attempting to get a look inside. ÒCan I come in? Unless of course Buffy doesn't want me to."
"I don't know." Willow wasn't sure she could trust Amy. Still if she was trying to give up magic then Willow should try and help her 'Ha! Some help I'll be. I can't even help myself.' "I guess it would be ok, just for a minute." Willow opened the door wide and stepped to the side, gesturing for Amy to come in.
"Thanks." Amy stepped forward but then paused. "Buffy's not going to attack me is she? Last time all that shaking made me throw up."
"Well, you were stealing. But Buffy's not home so it's a shake free zone."
"So your home alone?" asked Amy.
"Yeah." uttered Willow as she walked into the living room, signaling Amy to follow her. As Amy entered she noticed the pile of boxes by the door.
"You going somewhere?" she inquired.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm going away for a while, to clear my head, get away from things."
Amy looked surprised. "Really? You'd do that? Leave all you friends, everything?"
Willow looked sadly at Amy. "Yes I would. I'm hurting them by staying here and well you know, Hellmouth and all, makes it kind of hard to avoid magic. If you're serious about giving it up you should maybe think about relocating to." Willow noticed a stray sweater of hers draped across a living room chair and reached to retrieve it.
Amy was dumbfounded. She had always believed that Willow had given up magik because her friends demanded it. But here Willow was telling her that she was ready to leave behind all those friends to protect them and herself from magik.
"You really do want to give it up don't you?" asked Amy quietly, suddenly ashamed of what she was about to do.
"Yes." replied Willow, glancing up quickly at Amy.
Amy was silent for a moment as she watched Willow neatly fold the sweater. A sliver of movement in the entranceway to the kitchen behind Willow caught her eye.
"I'm sorry Willow." Amy said. And she meant it. But there was no turning back now.
Willow looked up, confused over Amy's confession. "Sorry for what?"
"Sorry for not being as strong as you." Amy's eyes flittered to look at something over Willow's left shoulder. It was a tiny action but it was enough to set off an alarm in Willow's head. She started to turn but a hand pressing against her back halted her movement.
Willow's mind flashed back to the cemetery, the bushes, the magic, and a hand touching her back.
An arm snaked its way around her waist, gripping her tightly. Two lips grazed her ear and a mocking voice whispered to her. "Remember me Strawberry?" WillowÕs eyes widened and she started to cry out but a bolt of energy crashed through her, silencing her before she could emit a sound. She dropped to the floor unconscious.
Rack smiled down at WillowÕs still form. "Get her things," he ordered Amy without looking up.
"Why?"
"Because she's still leaving. The destination's just changed."
TBC....
by willow_thebadasswitch » Fri Feb 01, 2002 6:55 pm
Ok rant over time for begging... more soon please?
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