by Forrister
Email address: forrister@hotmail.com
Feedback: Please – I really appreciate some constructive feedback. (Not necessarily positive feedback, but definitely constructive.)
Distribution: Please don’t distribute or archive my story without asking me.
Rating: PG –13 (some violence, some bad language.)
Disclaimer: I know Joss owns them all. I know I don’t. (A little knowledge can be so damn frustrating.)
Note: Post “The Gift”. Sequel to “The Day after the End of the World.” (Set about five weeks after ‘The Gift’)
Thanks to all the Kitties who have been so supportive and so patient. We’re getting close to the home straight so bear with me!
Chapter 5
June 23, 2001
I’ve decided to keep a journal. I know, I used to keep a diary and I called them the ‘Dawnmeister Chronicles’. Somehow that sort of thing doesn’t seem right anymore, a bit like kid’s stuff. A journal sounds more grown-up. Not that I’m all grown-up just yet – but sometimes I feel so old. So much has happened and nothing can ever be the same again.
Mr Giles asked me in to a Scooby meeting this week! It’s something I always dreamed of – helping out with the gang, but it didn’t turn out quite like I thought. That first night I wanted to run and hide. All those questions! I felt so bad I would have run home but Tara was standing next to me and she made me feel a little better. The next night there was a patrol but I didn’t get to go. I stayed behind with Mr Giles because he’d been feeling a sick. He really looked awful! I hope whatever it was wasn’t contagious! It was all a bit boring though. It was a good thing I had some books to read.
Mr Giles and Willow are my legal guardians now. I was worried that I’d have to go live with dad and never see anyone again, but there was some legal thing and I get to stay here. Tara and Willow have moved into our house because they can’t let me live alone. (Spike doesn’t count cause he’s not legal.) They’re pretty good though. After the other night I didn’t think they’d ever speak to me again. I thought Willow was going to lecture me for the rest of my life, but she didn’t. I think it’s worse when she doesn’t say anything. I wish I could’ve explained to her why I did what I did but I’m not really sure myself and I don’t think I could explain anyway. We’re ok now though. Tara just hugged me. I guess I shouldn’t say ‘just’ because those hugs keep me going. It’s like she wraps you all up in a big bundle and just loves you – no matter what. I think I really hurt her and Willow when I took off, but she didn’t need words to tell me it was going to be alright.
It’s funny having them living in the same house. Tara does most of the cooking. (Willow’s cooking is sometimes great but sometimes it sucks!) We share all the cleaning and other stuff. Xander and Spike do the yard and the garden. (You should see Spike trim roses!) Tara and Willow are sharing Mum’s old room. They sat me down and explained all about how they were in love and how they liked to share the same room and stuff – like I didn’t already know. Duh! At least they’re quieter than Riley and Buffy were.
Buffy. I miss her so much! I swear I can hear her voice sometimes at night. I look in her room and expect to see her sitting there. I even set a place for her at the table a couple of weeks ago, I just wasn’t thinking. The other night in the cemetery I felt like she was there with me, looking after me like she always did. I guess the other night helped me get some of the pain out. It still hurts but it’s not quite so bad anymore.
Melinda rang this morning. She’s called before but I guess I couldn’t think of much to say. Today we talked for two hours and then I went over her place. We talked about clothes and music and all the stuff we used to talk about. Hanging out felt really good and Tara said I can stay over there tomorrow night.
I’m kind of running out of things to say so I’ll finish here. I don’t think I’m going to write in this journal every day, just when I have something to say.
DS.
**********
Something was up. Spike was sure of it. The two witches were getting real cozy, not like they normally were but like they were hiding something. Willow babbled incessantly this evening until he was forced to go patrolling just to get some peace and quiet. Yeah, when Red started with the chatter he knew there was something up.
Dawn was at a sleepover and Tara made it clear that she didn’t want him hanging around Melinda’s house. It would be hard to explain, peeking in the window on two teenage girls having a sleepover. Mind you that didn’t stop him from doing it. It just made him be extra careful not to be caught. They seemed to be having a good time and Dawn looked happy. It was good to see Dawn happy. Spike sighed, lit another cigarette and began to walk slowly through the Sunnydale mall looking for action.
**********
“This doesn’t sound good.” Willow slowly shook her head as she read through Giles’ notes on the spell he proposed using to recover the Key. “What do you think, love?”
“I’m not sure. There’s an awful lot of ifs in here.” replied Tara as she read over Willow’s shoulder.
Giles frowned. “I wish I could be more certain, but it’s all theory. We can’t know for certain until we try.” He got up and poured himself a cup of tea. “As far as I can tell there are two main risks. The gate might collapse at an inopportune moment or something unfortunate might enter through the gate. The other risk is in reshaping the Key’s energy – which may or may not release Buffy’s soul.”
“Assuming it’s there in the first place.” added Willow grimly. She was fairly convinced that it was there, but she was hoping all the while that they were mistaken.
“Does the one getting the key have to stand in the portal?” asked Tara
Giles sighed. “I’m afraid so. That is where the Key is likely to be. Unfortunately there is some risk to any living person who tries it. That’s why I’m going to do it.”
“What about someone who’s already dead?”
Three heads whipped around to see Spike leaning against the doorway.
“Well, more like undead really.”
“How long have you been there?” accused Willow, a bit startled at his sudden appearance.
“Long enough, Red. I’ve heard most of it.” Spike walked over and pulled up a chair. “You didn’t think you could keep any secrets from me now, did you?”
“We were reasonably confident, up to this point that is.” retorted Giles dryly.
Spike pulled out a cigarette. “You’ll know better next time. So what’s this about Buffy’s soul?”
Giles focused on the table. Spike turned to the two women opposite him but they wouldn’t look him in the eye either.
“Come on! Someone spill the story already.” Spike looked at each of them again. “Hey! Rupert! Don’t muck about, cough it up!”
Giles took off his glasses and began to explain. “We’re going to try and recover the Key to prevent it falling into the wrong hands.”
“Why bother? Isn’t it safe enough where it is?” asked Spike.
“It might well be, but that isn’t the primary consideration in this case.”
“And….” prompted Spike.
“And it seems there is a real possibility that Buffy’s soul is bound with the Key. By recovering the Key we hope to free her soul to move on.”
“To her ‘eternal reward’ you mean?” asked Spike in a low voice.
“Something like that.” replied Willow.
Spike was too upset to speak for a moment. He got up and began to pace the floor.
“Shit!! What more can those bastards do to her? She gave everything she had, she saved the world more than once. Now, even when she’s dead they’re still not happy. If anyone deserves Heaven she does!”
“They?” asked Tara softly.
“You know, the people responsible. God, the gods, the powers that be, … whatever! They have no right to do this to her!”
“I don’t think it’s personal.” said Giles as he stood and put his hand on Spike’s shoulder.
“Too right it’s bloody personal! Whatever needs to be done, I’m in. Stuff the bastards!” He sat down and leaned on the table.
Giles looked at Spike for a moment, as if to weigh up what he saw there. He sat down and began to speak. “Spike. I want to make this perfectly clear. There is a very real risk to you in this. We aren’t certain what will happen or what kind of forces are involved. If the gate becomes unstable or anything starts to come through then we’ll have to collapse it. That could banish you to another dimension at best, or at worst it could destroy you.”
Both Tara and Willow were shocked. Giles had never mentioned just how dangerous this could be.
“How the hell did you think you were going to pull this off!” Spike looked back and forth between Giles and the two stunned women. “You didn’t tell them this bit did you? Sodding Watchers! You never give the whole story. You were going to do this yourself. You don’t have the witchy juice to create the portal so you were going to let them do it while you went in.”
Giles held out his hands to the two women in apology. “I’m sorry. I thought it would be best if you didn’t have any extra worries to distract you.” He turned back to Spike. “I can still do this. You have a promise to keep, and I am Buffy’s watcher. This is my responsibility.”
Spike thought on this for a second, and shook his head. “Nope, you can’t talk me out of it. I know Dawn will be in good hands. I told Buffy once that I’d go down fighting. If I do then I want it to mean something. Besides, I have the best chance of coming out of this in one piece.”
Tara looked into his eyes and took his hand. “Spike. You’re a good man.”
Spike shook his head. “Nope. Big Bad Vampire, that’s me! Grrrr!”
Willow came up behind him and gave him a big hug. Spike smiled and shook his head. “Great! Now I know I’m gonna die!”
Giles gathered up his notes. “Spike, Dawn knows nothing about this and we don’t want her to find out.”
“Right!” nodded Spike.
Giles stood. “We meet back here at 10pm tomorrow night and we’ll time the working for midnight.”
“Can you coax Anya and Xander into coming over to keep an eye on Dawn?” asked Willow
“I think so. If I get the food and the videos I can get them over. Anya doesn’t like to cook.” replied Giles.
“Dawn will probably be asleep early tomorrow.” observed Tara. “She’s having a sleepover at Melinda’s tonight which means they won’t sleep a wink. If we can keep her busy most of the day then she’ll be dead to the world by 8.30.”
“Good. Now get to bed, all of you. I need you fresh and focused tomorrow.” Giles shooed them out the door.
“Tomorrow’s gonna be a big day!” Spike shut the door behind him and walked into the night.
- To be continued.
Noli nothus permittere te opprimere!
(Don’t let the bastards grind you down!)
[This message has been edited by Forrister (edited September 05, 2001).]