Secrets and Spies (AU fic)

[tarawhipped]

Hiya kittens!I'm back with part two of three (of what was originally one).The third should be up tomorrow evening. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading!Feedback for chap. 8 first:



RaVeN:
I love writing Anya, and am glad you liked her. 'Secret sniggles,' huh? Welllll, not yet, but soon.



wimpy0729:
I'm glad you liked Sue--she's basically one of my former housemates, and I always thought she'd make a good character.



mollyig:
Willow's clever little brain moves pretty fast...'nuff said.
Quote:who the frilly heck is trailing Tara?
*whispers in mollyig's ear* I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you



Artemis:
The mystery guest...will not be signing in...yet.


I decided to write Willow as pretty open-minded and accepting, though her thought processes will be explored in this next chapter.


As for the era--the 40's actually had a pretty active underground lesbian community (as opposed to the 50's, when it was "back--back into the closets with you!").The sheer numbers of women in the workplace (and the menfolk off a-fightin') allowed lesbians to connect.There's a good discussion of this in the book "Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers" by Lillian Faderman.



Sheba:


Thanks for joining my little fic! More, huh? *checks watch* Is now good for you?



DarkChild:


Thank you! One update coming up!







Title: Secrets and Spies
Author: Tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 (possibly higher later, see chapter headings)
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: Yes please!
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Chapter notes: Thoughts in
italics









Chapter Nine: Tara, I Have To Tell You…





Tara heard Willow moving around the house first thing in the morning, and quickly dressed, remembering her words about visiting a friend.As soon as she heard the front door click shut, Tara exited her room and set out after her suspect.The redhead walked slowly, automatically, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.The deserted tree-lined streets made it easy enough for Tara to pursue the other woman without fear of being discovered.Despite the necessity of her surveillance, the agent felt a pang of guilt at the deception.



It’s for the best,
she told herself.
The sooner I prove her innocence, the sooner we can…



Tara snapped to attention as she saw Willow approach a small wood frame cottage.She ducked behind a tree until the redhead disappeared behind the door, which had been opened by the blonde woman from Willow’s photos.As soon as they were inside, Tara casually walked by the mailbox, which read Anya Jenkins, and retreated across the street to wait.






Willow practically skipped out of the house.As much as her friend’s tactlessness could be embarrassing, she had to admit that Anya’s support meant a lot to her.And to say that she had been accepting of Willow’s admission would be an understatement.
‘The Bronze Vixen?! Of
course
it’s a lesbian bar.Everyone knows that—really, Willow, how naïve
are
you?And since you obviously never listen to me, I
was
living in Berlin before the war, you know.If you think your little I-think-I-have-sweaty-naughty-feelings-for-a-girl speech is going to shock me, well think again, missy!I saw things you couldn’t imagine, like there was this cabaret, where—HEY! Are you listening?'



Of course, Anya’s encouragement always came with a certain amount of back-handed compliments.
‘Well, finally there’s
something
interesting about you.’
Willow’s brow creased as she recalled the words.
‘And at least now I know you’re not going to try and steal Xander from me.’
Willow had simply rolled her eyes at that oft-repeated insecurity, and asserted for the millionth time that she had never thought of her best friend that way.
‘Isn’t that why you left Oz?’



A year before, when Willow had broken up with Daniel Osbourne, she told herself that they had really always been friends more than anything, and that they had simply drifted apart.He had joined the Army immediately after Pearl Harbor, and before leaving for boot camp had asked her to marry him.The proposal had unnerved her.Still in college, she had so many plans for her future, and while marriage seemed like one of life’s big inevitabilities, it felt too soon.They’d written constantly for a while, especially after Oz had been shipped off to Europe.Then came the day that Oz wrote to tell her about a woman he’d met in France.His letter was achingly apologetic—he didn’t even use the other woman’s name—and he made it clear that nothing had or would happen as long as Willow was his girl.The redhead knew she was supposed to feel all sorts of things: anger, hurt, betrayal.But all she’d felt was…free.And so she’d given Oz his freedom as well.They’d continued to write, but the letters became fewer and farther between.In his last letter, several months before, Oz had written to tell Willow that he and Veruca had been married in a small ceremony in a tiny French village.She’d never known him to be happier.


Now, Willow wondered if she had always kept her boyfriend at arms’ length because deep down she’d known it wasn’t what she wanted.Their relationship had evolved from friendship, but in truth it never progressed much beyond it.The moment she met Tara, she felt…something…something she’d
never
felt with Oz.It was like a light-bulb turning on in her head, and memories of all the female classmates and teachers and movie stars she’d ever felt a spark of attraction for overwhelmed her.And none of them held a candle to Tara.






Willow walked into the living room and glanced nervously at Tara, who sat on the sofa looking slightly flushed.The blonde turned to her with a questioning glance, and Willow felt her chest heave.
Okay Rosenberg, now or never, just tell the woman what’s on your mind.



“COFFEE! I think I’ll make some coffee,”
Oookay, that was
a
thing on your mind, but not really the important one,
“Cause it’s kind of a social-y morning-y type thing to do—coffee and donuts and paper reading—though I don’t have any donuts…I could just run get some—or maybe I’ll just make with the coffee…making.”


Willow scampered off to the kitchen before she could complete her transformation into a babbling idiot.



Too late,
She thought, as she tried to regain a fraction of the confidence she’d felt when she’d left Anya’s.
I can do this.I can just walk right back in there, and say ‘Tara, I have to tell you something, and I hope you’ll understand…and I think you will…see, I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff since I met you—well, maybe even before—but I didn’t really understand what it was I was thinking until then…and—okay, this is starting to confuse even me.



Willow returned to the living room, noticing that Tara had not moved an inch.Crossing the room, she set two cups down on the table and promptly ignored them.She took a seat on the far end of the couch, careful to leave a comfortable space between herself and the other woman.


“Tara,” she started hesitantly.“Did you sleep well?”
That’s it, Rosenberg, waste time with small talk.



“Not really,” the agent replied softly, dropping her head down.


“I…I’m sorry I rushed off last night.I had a lot of stuff going on up here,” she said, pointing at her head and fluttering her hands nervously.“But I think I, uh…figured some things out…and Tara, I have to tell you—“


A loud knock at the door brought Willow to her feet in a flash, and she cried out in frustration.


“You have GOT to be kidding me!”She looked longingly at Tara before stalking over to the door, muttering “this had better be important.”


“WHAT!,” she shouted as she ripped the door open.


The young man on the porch took a step back when confronted with the furious redhead.He craned his neck to look over Willow’s shoulder, where he spotted an equally irate blonde.


“Hey Tara, there you are,” he stated jovially.“And you must be Willow—it’s nice to meet you.”


“Uh, hi,” Willow replied sheepishly.“Err, you are—?”


“Oh, where are my manners.I’m Tara’s—“


“Brother!”







TBC in Chapter Ten: Crossing Lines












What should I be but just what I am?
- Edna St.Vincent MillayEdited by: tarawhipped at: 8/25/04 7:57 pm

[mollyig]

Oh dear. Just when Willow gets the courage to talk to Tara some interloper comes along. Even though Tara said he was her brother, the fact that he knew Willow's name, has me mightily suspicious. I can't imagine Tara would have told her family about a mission she was on.



Thanks muchly for the update!

---

Sheacht mh'anam déag do bhéal, do mhalaí's do ghrua

[Artemis]

Yeah, that's the thing, *Tara* said the guy was her brother, interrupting him... and it's not like she just said it out of surprise at seeing him, she was there and glaring pissed-off-ly at him already. It's not Riley, is it? I can just imagine the big idiot showing up on some flimsy excuse to look over Tara's shoulder during her investigation... and the last thing Tara would want (apart from him being there at all) is for him to come blundering in on the pretence that he's her boyfriend.



Now that you mention it, yes, the lesbian underground does make perfect sense - the 'home front' was never really my specialty in that era, but I recall that kind of thing happening, in more general terms of women getting out of the kitchen-and-bedroom limits imposed on them normally.



Nice to hear more from Anya, too. You've got her voice down nicely, brash and annoying, but not *so* annoying that you get annoyed reading her lines. And if that cabaret is the one I think it is, yeah, she'd have had a blast Heh, she'd be perfect singing "Life is a cabaret".

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.

[shuyaku]

Brother... I'm with Chris in thinking that it is Riley checking up on her. Or at least whoever it was that was shadowing Tara shadowing Willow. Could that be more confusing? Well, you know what I mean right



The plot thickens...

-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[RaVeN]

gets all giddy (how the hell is one giddy anyways is that like giggling?) thanks for the new water, trying to cut back on pop lol.





sits and waits on next update cause well you know this is great.

__________________



WANTED: Looking for small poltergeist for personal use and a very talented muse. Please send resume to my inbox.



Update: Poltergeist found but its hard to find a good muse.

[tarawhipped]

Okay Kittens, as promised, here’s part 3 of what was once just 1.The next update may take a bit longer, but I can definitely be inspired by feedback to write faster!If my lovely partner is reading this, she’s probably laughing and calling me a feedback whore.Aren’t you, sweetie?







Chapter Nine feedback:




RaVeN:
*pats Jackie on back, hands her a fresh glass of water*Uh, sorry? And hey, thanks!



wimpy0729:
*takes RaVeN’s water, hands it to Pam*Okay, no passing out.They will eventually talk, but I think actions speak louder than words, don’t you?Oh, and could you and Willow scoot over and make room for me?



mollyig, Artemis, shuyaku:
Well, aren’t you all clever kittens!This wasn’t originally intended to even be a cliffhanger, but I see I should have thought up a better one.I feel so transparent. *runs off to cry*



Artemis:
Yes, it’s THAT cabaret—a little homage to Joel Grey’s appearance in season 5.Hard to decide which role was more creepy.





Title: Secrets and Spies
Author: Tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 (possibly higher later, see chapter headings)
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: Yes please!
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Chapter notes: Thoughts in
italics

Warning! Angst ahead!








Chapter Ten: Crossing Lines





“Brother!” Tara blurted out, not waiting to hear Finn’s response.
You were gonna say ‘boyfriend,’ weren’t you—you dumb son of a bitch.



Willow turned to Tara with a surprised look, as did Riley.


“Brother?”


“Um, yeah.Willow, this is my brother…Donald.”Tara smirked at her boss, who glared at her in return.


“Well, uh, come on in, I’ve just made us some coffee,” Willow said, stepping aside.


Once the redhead had moved into the kitchen to retrieve another cup, Tara spun around to face Riley, fury in her eyes.


“What the hell are you doing here Finn?” she hissed.


Riley ignored the question and brushed past the agent.



I can’t believe this.Now I’m going to have a whole new set of lies to deal with.I’m gonna kill him.
Tara reluctantly curbed her homicidal daydreams to join Willow and Riley in the living room.She started to move to sit on the couch next to Willow, but instead opted for a chair facing her.


“I can’t believe you have a brother, Tara.I mean, it’s not like I know that much about you, but I guess, me being an only child, I got an ‘only child’ impression from you too.”


“Yeah, um…well…

Donnie

wasn’t around much, and I haven’t seen him in a while, so I guess I felt like an only child.”


“I guess I can sort of see a resemblance,” Willow remarked, pouring Riley’s coffee and thus missing the looks of disgust that passed between the two agents.“So, are you in the Army, Donnie?”


“Yes, ma’am,” Finn replied, grimacing at the name.“Just got back from overseas and thought I’d pay a visit to my little sister.”Turning to Tara he quickly added, “I called your work—they gave me Willow’s name and address.”



Nice save, asshole.But I’m still gonna kill you.



“So tell me, Tara, how are Mom and Pop?”


Tara’s face went white and her coffee cup came slamming down onto the saucer, shattering both.She stood up with a jerk that sent her chair careening backwards.Riley stared at her in shock.Willow moved to her side and gently touched her shoulder.


“Tara, are you okay?”


Tara shrugged off the hand and didn’t respond to the question, just continued to stare bullets at Finn.


“Outside. NOW,” she growled.


The blonde burst out the door, closely followed by Riley.






Willow automatically moved to clean up the spilled coffee and pick up the fallen chair, but after a few minutes her curiosity got the better of her and she wandered over to the window.Peeking around the shade, she saw the two figures sitting in a black car.Tara appeared to be arguing vehemently, while Finn sat with his hands wrapped firmly around the steering wheel, staring straight ahead.



Okay, I should definitely not be watching them.It’s intrusive…and wrong…and none of my concern. Oh God, is she crying?Why is she crying?I should—go to my room…and study and…mind my own business.Right.Moving now…right now…moving.



The jangling of the telephone broke Willow away from her moral dilemma.
Stupid morals.



“Hello?…Giles, hi…uh-huh…no I haven’t forgotten…your place is fine, say 2:15?I’ll need to leave by 5…I
know
it’s important, but I can’t be out any later…it’s not like we have anything new…well then maybe you should just find someone else…of course I still want to, how can you ask me that?…no, not yet…look I have to go, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?…Bye, Giles.”


Just as she was replacing the handset in the cradle, Willow heard the front door open.Tara walked past the redhead without a word, went straight to her room and closed the door.



Okay—I’ll just wait here in case she comes out and wants to talk.I’m sure she’ll be out aaanny minute now, and here I’ll be, right here, waiting to talk.







By 8:00 pm Willow was contemplating breaking down Tara’s door.She’d attempted to study, but her thoughts kept drifting to the blonde, who had yet to leave her room since that morning.When lunchtime had come and gone, Willow had hesitantly tapped on the door to ask Tara if she would eat something.She’d barely been able to hear the reply of ‘not hungry.’Her concern beginning to verge on panic, she finally walked to the door and was about to knock more forcefully when it was opened by a bleary-eyed Tara.Willow moved without conscious thought, taking the blonde’s face in her hands.


“Tara, are you—what happened?”


Tara reluctantly retreated from Willow’s comforting touch, and sat down on the bed.


“He,” Tara began, “He just…brought up some stuff…my parents…,” she trailed off as a fresh wave of emotions threatened to overwhelm her.After a long pause to collect herself, she continued.“My father…he lost everything in the Depression, and it just…broke him.He tried to find work, he looked everywhere, and when he c-couldn’t support us—he just left.I don’t think he…it’s like he couldn’t stand to be there and feel so…useless.M-my m-mother—she came down with tuberculosis not long after.I tried to find him...after…after she d-d-died…but he was just…gone.I’ve n-never heard from him…I don’t think he even knows.”


“When?”


Tara was startled by the proximity of the voice.At some point Willow had moved to the bed and sat down next to the blonde, taking the distraught girl’s hand.Tara stared at the fingers entwined with her own, a freckled thumb lightly stroking her knuckles.


“T-two…two years since s-she…” her voice broke, and when Willow’s arms wrapped around her she tightly gripped back, holding on desperately as sobs wracked her body.


Tara had no idea how long they remained that way.Gradually her shaking ceased, and the flood of tears became a trickle.She took a deep breath and caught the faint scent of gardenias.Opening her eyes, she saw a curtain of red curls enveloping her.She felt the redhead smoothing her hair and rocking her softly.She heard the whispers of ‘it’s okay’ over and over again, and felt warm breath on her ear.She very nearly laughed, realizing that this was exactly what she had intended to do for the other woman the night before.Years of suppressed pain had left her numb for most of the day, replaced now by an overwhelming sense of calm and safety.Her eyes felt heavy from crying, and she let them drift closed in contentment.When she felt slender fingers caressing her cheek, she willingly leaned into them with a sigh.When she felt a hand cup her cheek and gently turn her head, she complied instantly.And when she felt soft lips brush her own, she returned the kiss without reservation.






Willow thought she had finally come home.The moment her lips met Tara’s, she knew with certainty the answers to all the questions that had been swirling around in her head.She’d never experienced anything so undeniably
right
.She felt dizzy and drunk and strong.A hunger she had never known threatened to overpower her.The moment she felt Tara flinch ever so slightly she pulled away, just far enough to look into her face.


Tear stained eyes fluttered open slowly and stared, heavy-lidded, into smoky green.Willow searched the eyes for a signal to stop or continue, but she saw only exhaustion.


“You’re tired,” she whispered.“You should get some sleep, and I should…I should go—to my room…so you can…sleep.”She stood up but did not move away from the bed or drop Tara’s hand.


“Don’t go.”


The words were spoken so softly that Willow thought she imagined them, until she felt slender fingers squeeze her own.


“W-would you just…stay with me…just…tonight…hold me?” Tara quietly pleaded, staring at the floor.


Willow simply nodded, even though she longed to make promises for more than just one night.She would stay, even if it were for tonight only, even if in the morning the blonde told her the kiss was a mistake.Tonight wasn’t about what they might become in the future.This was about comfort now—one who needed, and one who could provide.Never losing contact with the blonde’s hand, Willow scooted onto the bed to curl around the other woman.Neither spoke, and soon both drifted off into deep slumber.The same thought passed through each just before sleep overtook them:



I think I love her
.







TBC in Chapter 11



(author’s note: I’ve decided to stop naming chapters in advance since I keep changing them anyway

)











What should I be but just what I am?
- Edna St.Vincent MillayEdited by: tarawhipped at: 8/25/04 8:09 pm

[Artemis]

Hrm, Willow's phone call with Giles... it sounds like there's something going on (or not going on) *now*, she's not just reporting stuff that she found out when she was working on Venona. So what are they up to? And on another tack, was Riley Tara's mysterious shadow, or was that someone else?



I've got to say, I love Tara when she's pissed off. It's just so awesome picturing sweet Tara thinking 'you dumb son of a bitch' at Riley. And naming him 'Donald' she thinks quick. In a battle of wits, I think Riley's sorely outgunned. What was the silly bastard thinking, anyway? Blunder in, possibly contradict whatever half-true cover story Tara's been using, act like a complete idiot - what I wouldn't give to have heard her put him in his place. Let's hope he'll see sense and stay the hell out of her investigation, rather than get all vindictive because of the wound to his poor little ego. It's his own damned fault.



And then Willow and Tara... that was just lovely. But it's sure going to make things complicated. Tara's still hiding her job from Willow, and Willow's hiding her whatever-she's-doing from Tara - and both of them are the types to bury themselves in guilt over it, even if their motives are essentially noble.

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-



How not to preserve a cover of an agent. Riley really is acting like his namesake-Donald Duck. After that breach of tradecraft I would expect Riley to be transferred to Greenland to protect against Nazi reindeer.



If Oz is in France in 1943 he's part of the OSS (Office of Strategic Services-forerunner of the CIA). Now that would add even more layers to the story! Especially if it's all really part of a cover story for something else...



Jixer

[mollyig]

Lucky Finn wasn't around to hear that phone conversation. Willow has come to trust Tara and probably would have just taken the call right in front of her and her "brother".

---

Sheacht mh'anam déag do bhéal, do mhalaí's do ghrua

[amazonaa]

hey, man i've been missing a lot of updates lately.



Oh well. Great job. It's about time they got together. And i'm feeling all giddy to.





More soon, please.





brittney







"Arn't you going to tell me to 'break a leg'?"

"Break 'em both." Amber Benson as Cheyenne in The Crush

[noellebrin]

This story is great. You really make it easy to dislike Finn though. Tara is really opening up to Willow and I hope they have a good morning when they wake, and not an akward one. Keep up the good work!

- kristin -

[tarawhipped]

RaVeN:
It’s great??Awww, shucks ma’am.

Thank you! (now I’m giddy too)



Artemis:
First off, yeah it was Riley following Tara.I’m glad you like the ‘dumb SOB’ line, I quite enjoyed writing it!Also happy the ‘Donald’ thing went over—it was kind of a long way to go for a joke, with the set up scene and all, but I thought it’d be fun.


I’d like to respond to more of your post, but I’m afraid of giving anything away, especially since you’re so damn perceptive.I am over halfway through, though, so the truth(s) will come out eventually.



jixer:
Greenland! Nazi reindeer! Damn, I’m just not using my creative muscles enough! I like it though—Riley’s transfer papers are being typed up as we speak.

Thanks for the feedback!



mollyig:
I think the phone conversation would have been much different if anyone else had been in the room, but that’s just me.It’s not like I have any idea what she’s hiding—oh, wait…



amazonaa:
Hey! Glad to see you back!*crosses Brittney’s name off of the ‘people to send to Greenland with Riley’ list*

It’ll be a while before they’re TOGETHER together (oh shoot, now I gave away the ending), but I thought the, um, tension needed to be broken a little.



noellebrin:
Thanks for the feedback, I live for the ego boostage!I know I made Finn a jackass, but if he hadn’t been such a jerk, Tara wouldn’t have gotten upset, and Willow wouldn’t have had to console her, and there would have been no smoochies, so maybe he’s not such a useless bastard after all.
Quote:I hope they have a good morning when they wake, and not an awkward one
What???Why would I make them have an awkward morning?*runs away to hide before noellebrin can read next chap*


Thanks to everyone reading!







Title: Secrets and Spies
Author: Tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 (possibly higher later, see chapter headings)
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: Yes please!
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Chapter notes: Thoughts in
italics
; angst present and accounted for






Chapter Eleven: Doubts





A soft but persistent murmuring in her ear roused Tara from a fitful sleep.Her eyes drifted open lazily and met a nest of auburn curls, shining like polished copper in the early morning light falling across the bed.She could feel Willow’s chin tucked snuggly into her crook of her neck, her lips muttering nonsensical phrases scant millimeters from Tara’s bare neck.



Mmmm…Willow,
she thought dreamily, a moment before her eyes shot fully open and she came slamming headfirst into consciousness.
Oh my god—Willow?Willow—in my bed—with me!



Tara stifled the impulse to leap immediately off the mattress, knowing it would wake the other woman.Taking several calming breaths, the agent quickly assessed her situation.



Okay, I’m on my back, and she’s kind of…pinned against me…can’t um move my left arm…definitely pinned…so that must be her arm over my stomach, making me feel all warm and safe and—FOCUS Maclay!—okay, maybe if I just um pick her arm up a little…



As she attempted to do so, the redhead frowned slightly, mumbled sleepy protestations, and tightened her grip on Tara’s side.



Oookay…that’s not gonna work, and…could she
be
any cuter?Goddess I could get used to this.



Tara shook the thought of her head and decided to try a different tactic.She reached up to grasp her pillow while at the same time inching away from Willow.After several minutes she managed to completely extricate herself, using the pillow to replace her body under the redhead’s protective limb.She lingered at the side of the bed a moment, watching the other woman sleep, the pillow now firmly clutched against her body.



She’s so beautiful…I can’t believe she kissed me…I can’t believe I kissed her—what was I thinking?Oh, but that kiss!No, I can’t let that happen again—not until this is over.
The thought had barely entered her mind when it was replaced with the harsh realization that once this was through, Willow would most likely want nothing to do with her.


Knowing it was only a matter of time before the redhead woke up, Tara hurriedly grabbed some clothes and retreated to the bathroom to dress.She ducked her head back into the bedroom to ensure that the other woman was still asleep, then crept carefully out of the house and to her car.She winced as the engine roared to life, the sound unnaturally loud in the early morning quiet.She spared a single glance back at the front window as she drove away, exhaling in relief at not seeing anyone there.






Several hours later Tara watched as Willow, shoulders hunched, stepped out of the house.The agent had parked her car several streets over and walked to a nearby café to wait for the redhead to leave for school.



I should have stayed away until she was gone…she looks so sad, so hurt…well, why shouldn’t she?You could have at least left her a note.Coward.



Tara waited until Willow had turned the corner on her way to the bus stop before entering the house to continue her search.Several fruitless hours later, she flopped down onto the couch with an exasperated sigh.



This is ridiculous—there’s nothing
here
.I should just call Riley and—



Soft blue eyes turned hard and icy as the thought of her boss, and the previous day’s altercation, came to mind.





“This your car?Get in.”


“Look, Tara, if I said something—”


“Just shut up and get in the car…what are you doing here, Finn?I mean, I know you think I’m incompetent because I’m a woman, but do you realize how much you just put my investigation in jeopardy?What the hell were you thinking?”


“I just wanted to check up—”



“Check up on me?!
I don’t
need
you to check up on me!The only thing I will
ever
need from you is to back me up if and when I specifically request it, and to stay out of my way until then!”


“You need to watch your tone Agent Maclay.”


“Hey, I’m not the one here who almost blew another agent’s cover, so don’t lecture me about my tone.If you
ever
pull another stunt like this, I’ll—”


“You’ll what?Run tell your boyfriend and have me booted down to Private?”


“Boyf—what are you talking about?”


“I know there’s something going on between you and Travers—I’ve seen your file.No one ever heard of you until six months ago when Quentin Travers signed you up for covert ops.Are you telling me it’s a coincidence that when he transferred here you were the
only
agent he brought with him?”


“You know Finn, I don’t know if you’re out of your mind or just way out of line, but don’t you EVER bring up my personal life again, not my family, not my friends, not even anyone I might have once stood in line next to at a movie.Clear?”





Tara quickly came to the conclusion that the last thing in the world she wanted to do right now was talk to her boss.A glance at her watch revealed that it was already after 1:00, so she hastily grabbed her copy of Willow’s class schedule and set out.




After parking her car in a remote section of the lot and orienting herself, Tara walked toward the mathematics building.Studying the schedule in her hand as she walked, she didn’t notice a man standing on the footpath until she’d bumped into him.


“Ooof—oh, I am so sorry—are you okay?I w-wasn’t watching where I was g-going, and—oh!I spilled your tea,” Tara bowed her head in remorse.


“It’s quite alright—no harm done.I dare say I if I hadn’t come to such a sudden halt it never would have happened.Really, there’s no need to apologize.”


Tara’s embarrassment soothed by the man’s kind words, she raised her head to look at him.He was in his mid-forties, average height and build, with short light brown hair flecked with gray.He smiled warmly as he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the spilled tea off of his cuffs.In his tweed suit, bow-tie, and glasses, he seemed every bit the image of a British college professor.


“Is there something I can help you with, dear?” he asked, noticing the campus map in her hand.


“I was looking for the math classrooms.”


“Ah, yes, just keep to the right up ahead, and the path will take you there directly.Good afternoon.”


Once she’d located Willow’s classroom, Tara moved to the far end of the hall to ensure that the redhead would not spot her.At 2:00 classes were let out and the hallway filled up with people, but Tara found it simple to spot Willow by her hair.Weaving carefully through the milling students, the agent trailed her suspect out of the building, back down the footpath, past the library, across the campus, and finally out onto the streets of Sunnydale.As they left the university behind, Tara felt a vague sense of unease begin to grow in the pit of her stomach.



Well, she’s not spending her time in the library, that’s for sure.Perhaps a friend’s house to study—but then why not say so?



Twenty minutes of walking later, Willow turned at the entrance to an apartment building in one of the town’s older residential sections.The structure was built in a sort of Mission style crossed with an Italian villa, with each apartment opening onto a sunken central plaza, complete with a fountain.Tara gave silent thanks to the god of surveillance that there was plentiful foliage to conceal her presence.From the top of the stairway she watched as Willow crossed the terrace and knocked on one of the doors.When it was answered a moment later by the man in tweed, the agent felt her stomach drop into her feet and her blood run cold.



It’s him!—oh, Willow—there has to be a reasonable explanation for this—oh god, I have to report this—orders—I can’t believe—it can’t be—she can’t be…



She watched in stunned silence as the two greeted each other cordially, but with a slight hint of—
of what?…apprehension?He looks upset, and she—



Once the door was closed, Tara crept carefully down the stairs and to the window, determined to get a closer look inside.She held her breath as she observed Willow round the couch and take a seat, where she began to unload books from her bag.Tara thought back to the pile of textbooks she’d seen on the dining room table earlier.These looked different—older.The redhead unpacked a thick notebook that she handed to the Englishman, who flipped through several pages and nodded occasionally while Willow talked to him.


Tara could take no more.Her head was spinning as she backed away from the scene in front of her.Only her training gave her the presence of mind to check the name on the mailbox before she fled from the building.She half ran, half staggered back to the campus to retrieve her car, knowing she had no choice but to report her findings to Finn.



And then what?It still doesn’t necessarily mean—sure, he’s British, but that doesn’t mean…it’s a university, there’s probably plenty of people from all over the world there.I’ll just…go home, and when Willow gets back, I’ll ask her where she was.If she tells me the truth, I’ll—figure something out.



Her decision made, Tara drove back to the empty house to wait.Despite her rationalizations, her gut tightened in fear at the thought of what she would have to do if Willow lied to her.






It was after 6:00 before Willow arrived.Tara had been pacing for hours, working herself into a nervous frenzy, but when she heard the door opening she froze.From where she stood by the icebox she could see the redhead in her peripheral vision, tentatively walking toward her.Before reaching the kitchen, however, the other woman turned and walked into her room.Tara heard the sound of a key entering a lock, the pull of a drawer, a heavy thump, the scrape of the drawer closing, and the removal of the key.



The desk drawer…her bag…the books…notebook…that’s why it was empty—she had them with her!



The puzzle solved gave Tara no comfort, as she realized she had to find a way to get back into that drawer—when it
wasn’t
empty.At the sound of footsteps approaching, she spun around to face Willow, who smiled shyly and opened her mouth to speak.


“So, did your class run late?” Tara inquired before the redhead could begin.


“Uh, yeah.You know professors—no respect for anyone’s time but their own.Tara, I—”


“W-well, of course, it’s not so bad if it’s an interesting class.W-which class was it?”


Willow frowned as Tara continued to direct the conversation away from the kiss the night before.The agent suppressed her emotional turmoil as she watched the other woman’s consternation play across her face.


“It, um, it was uh, Differential Equations.Tara, can we—”


Tara quickly sidestepped the redhead and walked purposefully toward the door.Her eyes narrowed a fraction as she gazed back at Willow, who stood with a perplexed, forlorn expression on her face.


“I um, I have to go.I’m m-meeting my brother for dinner.I may be late.”Tara opened the door and paused briefly.Looking out into the darkened street, she spoke softly.“Don’t wait up.”







TBC in Chapter Twelve












What should I be but just what I am?
- Edna St.Vincent MillayEdited by: tarawhipped at: 8/28/04 5:25 pm

[wimpy0729]

OH man! I missed one, but now I'm caught up. The kiss was very, very nice. Very touching, with the comforting and Willow knew she was 'home'. That was very sweet.



Oh yeah, stupid SOB! Could he be any less stealthy?!!



So, okay, the meeting with Giles, still not a lot of info there, so won't jump to any conclusions.



But the whole Tara avoiding Willow now has my stomach all acid-y. Would you please do something about that soon?



Can't wait to see what's next!



Wimpy

"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

[WickedReds]

whoa nice dream...



-reds



my banana dances for smut

Tara in a wet shirt, Tara in a wet shirt. Tara in. A. Wet. Shirt. “Of course.”-Willow From Remember to Breath By Yellow Crayon



Now that just sucks- me

[amazonaa]

Oh man. Tara has got some work cut out for her today.



Great job, can't wait for more.





brittney







"Arn't you going to tell me to 'break a leg'?"

"Break 'em both." Amber Benson as Cheyenne in The Crush

[wimpy0729]

Oh, you so had me going...dammit!!!



I should've known better, but you played it out so well. Great job!



Okay, so Tara has to play stenographer -- this should be a hoot! Can't wait to see what happens next.



Soon please!



Wimpy

"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

[tarawhipped]

Howdy Kittens!Just a quick note that the beginning of this installment is Willow's POV reaction to some of the events from Chapter 11, so if you haven't read that one, you might want to do so now.I'll just wait here.

Oh! You're back!In addition, please note that the rating on this chapter has been raised to an R (a soft one, at least). Enjoy!



Chapter 11 feedback:
Hiya Wimpy!Glad you're caught up and thanks for the feedback.I'll try to provide you with some literary Tums, but it may not happen just yet.







Title: Secrets and Spies
Author: Tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: Yes please!
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Chapter notes: Thoughts in
italics







Chapter Twelve: Taking Action





Willow Rosenberg was finally asleep after one of the most confusing days of her life.Waking up that morning she had expected to see Tara sleeping next to her, but instead found a mangled pillow under her arm.After searching the house and finding it empty, she’d searched again for a letter, a note, a memo even.But there had been nothing, and she’d gone about her morning routine in a daze, barely remembering how she’d arrived at school.Her classes were no better; no matter how hard she’d tried to pay attention, her mind kept drifting to thoughts of Tara.Her afternoon had gone downhill from there.Giles hadn’t hidden his displeasure at her ‘lack of commitment’ as he’d phrased it.She’d wanted to tell him why she was so preoccupied, but didn’t think the older man would understand.So instead she’d stayed late out of guilt, and when she’d gotten home…


Tara’s abrupt departure had shocked the young woman, who’d stood motionless for almost half an hour hoping the blonde would return.When she hadn’t, Willow had mechanically gone about preparing her dinner, which was promptly thrown out after a few half-hearted bites.She’d wandered around the house, finally curling into a ball on the couch while her brain tried to analyze the situation in a logical, Willow-like fashion.



Maybe she’s mad at me…I kinda took advantage of her—AGAIN—and this time was so much worse, with her all upset and crying, and then me with the kissing…,
despite her concern over her behavior, Willow couldn’t suppress the smile that spread over her face at the memory of Tara’s lips on hers.
But she did kiss me back…
and
she asked me to stay, which she wouldn’t have if she didn’t like me at least a little bit.I hope I didn’t do something in my sleep—oh no!What if I was all with the grabby hands!OH DEAR GOD, what if I drooled?!



Willow leaped off the couch and raced to Tara’s room to inspect the pillows, emerging from the room a moment later with a relieved sigh.Her thoughts about the morning appeased, she turned her fretting to the more recent departure.



It’s not like she didn’t talk to me at all…she seemed interested in my day, and yeah, I had to lie to her, but it’s not like it was some big huge lie—like ‘I’m married and have seven kids living in Idaho,’ or ‘I’m a secret agent spying on you’ or anything.Maybe she just wanted to talk things out with Donnie—there was obviously some tension there.I’ll just wait til she gets home and…but she said not to wait up…well, of course she did, cause family stuff and ‘us’ stuff would be a lot of stuff for one night…so I should just go to bed and I’ll see her in the morning…unless she sneaks out again—ooh!I know!



The redhead hopped up to take a quick shower, eager to put her plan into effect the next day.She lay in bed, giddy and grinning.
No more waiting around for Tara to talk to me—from now on I’m gonna be Action-Willow.







The bedroom door opened part way, allowing a sliver of light from the hallway to fall across Willow’s prone form.The redhead stirred, propped herself up on one elbow, and focused sleepy eyes on the figure silhouetted in the doorway.


“Tara?”she whispered as the blonde closed the door behind her and glided toward the bed like a vision.


“Hi.I’m sorry if I woke you.I just didn’t want to go to bed without apologizing.”


Willow swallowed the lump in her throat.


“You’re sorry we kissed?”


The blonde’s sudden, if muted, laughter startled the redhead.


“God no—I’m sorry I left without saying anything this morning—and tonight.”


Fully awake now, Willow’s eyes roamed over Tara’s body as it moved closer.She shifted to sit on the edge of the bed.The blonde came to a stop in front of the redhead, their legs brushing together.Willow found herself staring directly at Tara’s full breasts, which rose and fell appealingly with every breath.The redhead’s hands seemed to move of their own accord, grazing over thighs and hips before coming to rest on Tara’s waist.Green eyes drifted up, seeking out their blue counterparts, already heavy-lidded with desire.The blonde placed her hands on Willow’s shoulders and nudged a thigh in between the seated woman’s knees as she leaned over to whisper huskily in her ear:


“I want you Willow.I have since the moment we met.And I can feel it Willow—you want me too.Don’t you?”


The redhead whimpered her assent as she felt warm lips suck in her earlobe.She thought she would swoon when Tara’s tongue began lazily tracing the outer rim of her suddenly VERY sensitive ears.While her brain was lost in a pleasure-induced haze, Willow’s hands drifted over the tantalizing curves of Tara’s hips and ass, caressing down firm thighs before beginning their slow ascent, taking the blonde’s skirt with them.When she felt the clasps of a garter, her skilled fingers quickly released them.Slowly moving around to the front, she repeated the procedure, intoxicated by the sound of Tara moaning into her neck.She paused for just a moment to look up into the blonde’s face.


“Are you sure?” she breathed.


“Oh yes,” came the reply, and Willow was on her feet in an instant, grabbing the blonde and kissing her fiercely as she guided her to sit on the mattress.Kneeling in front of the bed, Willow gently placed one of Tara’s feet on her thigh and ran her hands up the length of the slender leg, reaching under the skirt until her fingertips caught the edge of a silk stocking, which she slowly peeled down.Moving to the other leg, Willow looked up at Tara, whose mouth had curled into a half-smile that sent shockwaves through Willow’s already electrified body.She gulped audibly.


“Something wrong, sweetie?”


“Uh, no…nothing wrong…everything is definitely of the right,” Willow babbled, and instantly feared she’d spoiled the mood.The blonde continued to smile as she pulled Willow to her feet, planting a thigh on either side of the redhead’s slim hips.Willow’s eyes widened as she felt her nightgown being lifted up over her legs, and she silently raised her arms in anticipation.Her clothing discarded, Willow found herself pulled onto the bed and flipped onto her back while Tara moved to straddle her legs.


Willow lost all capacity for thought as she reveled in the sensations Tara lavished on her body: the tongue exploring her mouth, one hand caressing her breast, the other mapping an achingly slow path down her stomach.Just as she thought she couldn’t take any more without exploding…


Willow woke with a start, sitting bolt upright and breathing heavily, several strands of damp hair clinging to her face.Her eyes darted around the room as she gradually came to the realization that it had been a dream.Emitting a low groan, she flopped back down, laying a calming hand on her heart, which continued to race wildly.Despite the early hour, she forced herself out of bed, knowing she had to be the first one out of the house this morning.






Tara’s alarm clock rang at 7:00 and she quickly silenced it.Remembering that Willow didn’t have class until afternoon, she hoped the redhead would sleep in.The agent dragged herself to the shower, exhausted after getting in at 2:00 a.m.Her report had gone well—Finn had been conspicuously polite as she’d relayed the information about Willow’s meeting with Rupert Giles.Anxious to get into the office to see if there was any information on the man yet, she almost missed the note lying on the table next to her keys.Yawning and rubbing her still sleepy eyes, she unfolded the single sheet.


“Dear Tara,


I know you have a lot on your mind right now, and I don’t want to cause you any more problems, but I really think we need to talk, and I feel like you’ve been all avoid-y.So I’m going to do something I’ve never done and skip my class today to have lunch with you.It’s that important to me, as are you.I’ll meet you at your office at noon.


Willow”


Tara reread the letter three times, then raced around the house and yard, but the redhead had apparently managed to duck out without a sound that morning.The agent shuffled into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, the reality of the situation slowly registering.



Willow… my office…Willow AT my office …I’m gonna have to play stenographer today…oh crap.








TBC in Chapter Thirteen








What should I be but just what I am?
- Edna St.Vincent MillayEdited by: tarawhipped at: 8/29/04 9:11 pm

[brendcat]

just finding this fic and I think it is wonderful.

Very intriguing AU and your Willow and Tara are such fun to follow. Tara is in a pickle now, isn't she. Can't wait to read more, great job!

Also, the dream scene was very sensual and I totally fell for it. You've captured the sexual tension so well.

[pipsberg]

tarawhipped,



Wow this story is amazing. I am completely and utterly hooked. I really love the chemistry between W & T and that dream was hot.. with the garters and the uh... yeah!! Go Steno Tara! More soon please!!

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[mollyig]

Lucky me, two instalments to read this morning. It's made my Monday much brighter!



Good that Tara used her anger at Riley's interference in a positive way. She made him think it was because he could have ruined her investigation when in fact she was probably irate that he was a threat to Willow.



. . .when Willow gets back, I’ll ask her where she was. If she tells me the truth, I’ll figure something out. Tara deciding to give Willow the benefit of the doubt. Bless her, she probably thinks she's doing this for Willow, when in fact it's for herself. She can't bear to think that Willow may actually be guilty.



I'm kinda worried about Tara's report to Riley. I know she had to tell him, that's not what I'm concerned about. It's what Riley might do. He obviously doesn't trust Tara's judgment, and I can't see him just letting her get on with her job without poking his nose in at some inopportune moment.



Fair play to take action Willow. She realises how important Tara is to her, and is committed to talking things through with her.



Thanks for the updates.

---

Sheacht mh'anam déag do bhéal, do mhalaí's do ghrua

[Artemis]

Yay (jumps for joy), two chapters practically at once! And lots more to ponder...



Willow's attitude certainly isn't that of a Russian spy, but I think we've pretty much discounted that theory. But she doesn't seem like she's bothered by Tara's inquiries into her whereabouts at all, except that she can't tell the truth. Now whatever she's doing - Russian-prompted though it's presumably not - it's covert, yet it's apparently never crossed her mind that the US might be interested in taking a peek into it. Otherwise, what with one thing or another, you'd think she'd be at least a *little* concerned when the subject of her whereabouts comes up. It's apparently not occurred to her that she might be under surveillance at all - which is curious. Either she's quite mistaken about whether or not the good ole' US of A would be interested in her clandestine activities... or someone else is pulling the US of A's strings here.



I don't doubt that Tara's good, but why *did* Travers bring her in and hand her this case? I didn't get the sense - at least in Tara's opinion - that Travers was a mentor or somesuch, to any great extent. Yet he brought her in, gave her this case... why her? Taking a chance that she'll live up to her 'promising but short record', or something else?



On to the girls themselves, though - both circling each other, wrapped up in near-identical bundles of worry, though obviously Tara's more worried at present. Having to lie to Willow, especially as they grow close, must be torment for her - in her eyes, she's putting nails in the coffin of any future for them, even as she does exactly what duty demands of her. She's not expecting understanding or forgiveness from Willow if she turns out to be innocent - and if she *is* hiding something, she's fearing the worst. But I'm feeling that Willow's motives are just the same as Tara's - she has some duty that demands secrecy, and it's not one she feels is ignoble.



I have a theory - it's wild and convoluted, but I'm gonna see if it pans out...

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.

[shuyaku]

I agree with Chris - Willow's seemingly oblivious actions that she *might* even, maybe, possibly be under surveillance leads me to believe that whatever her sneakiness is about - it's not anything she thinks the government would be interested in or anything remotely bad. I too have some theories, so I can hardly wait to see where this goes.



Obviously Tara has not been *playing* stenographer this whole time - so are all the other ladies supposed to pretend to know her? Also, I can't remember (and I'm too lazy to look right now) but where is she a stenographer? If she told Willow she was a stenographer for the government, surely Willow would be more apprehensive in her company if she was doing anything spy-ish...



-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-



Oh my. Willow at the office and Tara playing stenographer. Now how many ways can this go haywire? I'm also playing at guessing what's going on with 'The Brit' and who this mystery person really is. Unfortunately I keep coming up with Colonel Mustard in the Library.



We're going to get spoiled with all the updates.





Jixer

[TromDeGrey]

Curiouser and curiouser... I'm really enjoying the intrigue here and I love Riley getting a tongue lashing! What a dolt! So, now not only am I wondering just what Willow and Giles are doing, I'm wondering what Tara's deal is with Travers too. Terrific story! Can't wait for more!

Trom's Brain: Rubbing the World the Wrong Way

[veiled isis moon]

I see they're both being sneaky and naughty! Makes things fun.............except the whole heartache of having to lie. Awwwww, it must be really hard for the girls to lie to when they obviously care a great deal for each other. I hope Tara still believes in Willow and wants to prove her innocence. Riley is a dick, really don't like him. Just comes in unanounced and nearly blows Tara's cover. Tara's boyfriend my ass! Willow meeting at Tara's work could prove tricky. Now Tara's gonna have to be extra sneaky to pull it off! Can't wait.

[tarawhipped]

Hi Kittens! I should have the next chapter up tomorrow evening, but I wanted to go ahead and answer feedback since there were so many lovely responses. Special shout outs to first time (here, anyway) feedback from WickedReds, brendcat, pipsberg, and TromDeGrey—thank you all!


WickedReds: Thank you Reds, I'm glad the dream was a hit. I hope to have more smut for your banana to dance for at some point, once I get over my fear of writing it.


amazonaa: Hiya Brittney! Yes, Tara does have her work cut out for her, but there will be some payoff soon.


wimpy0729: Thanks for the compliment, Wimpy. I’m glad it fooled you (and others). I did put several hints in there, but they were probably a little too subtle. One, Tara didn’t stutter once. Two, real stockings were really rare in ‘43, since all silk and nylon were being used for parachutes. Granted, only a total 20th century American history geek like myself would notice that, so I guess it doesn’t count as much of a hint.


brendcat: Thanks for you very supportive comments r.e. the story, especially the dream scene. I fear my smut writing wouldn’t compare to some of the other writers out there, so I tend to stick with less explicit stuff, which luckily fits with the time period and situation.


pipsberg: I was so excited to see your name up here, and I’m very glad you’re enjoying the story. And I would never take advantage of your gracious feedback to remind you that you haven’t updated The Rosenberg Institute (one of MY favorites) since 8/12. That would be tacky. Nope, not saying a word.


mollyig: I really enjoyed your insights into Tara’s psyche. I think you’re right that Tara is so concerned for Willow that she’s trying not to consider the possibility that she may be guilty. Her personal feelings make her far from impartial, and she does see Riley as a threat to Willow because all he sees is a suspect, not a person. Her faith motivates her rather than blinding her, but it may continue to be tested.


Artemis: Thanks for the feedback, Chris. Regarding Willow, I had in mind the image of when she was approached in high school by the computer company recruiters, and seemed oblivious that anyone would know about her. You’re right that she doesn’t think that the government would be watching her. However, Willow obviously has a secret, one that she doesn’t feel free to discuss with anyone, except maybe Giles.


The issue with Travers as mysterious benefactor will play out eventually. The concept of duality is very important to me, and I wanted to show that no one is exactly (or merely) what they seem. Except Riley—I think I made him pretty one-dimensional!


Like mollyig, you read such wonderful insights into the characters, and I wish I could say that it was all careful, clever planning on my part. I did outline the story to be within a specific time frame (all together it’ll be about a week and a half), so issues of trust and honesty and doubt are natural. The rest of the story will encompass the when and how of revealing their numerous secrets to each other, and what the consequences will be.


shuyaku:As I revealed to Artemis: you’re right, Willow doesn’t have a clue she’s being watched, but she is hiding something that she doesn’t feel will be understood.


As for Tara’s job, I mentioned that it was at the Special Information Branch, which was one of a number of intelligence agencies. From the information I found, a number of women worked there, primarily enlisted personnel, but at least one civilian. I’ve kind of set up Sunnydale as a hotbed of military industry, so it would not be suspicious for her to work for the military in some aspect, especially since Willow believes it’s a just an administrative job. Your questions regarding the other ladies will answered in the next chapter.


jixer: I’m trying to figure out how to respond without giving anything away, and all I can say with certainty is that it is NOT Colonel Mustard. No comment on the Library. As for spoiling you with updates, my belief is that kittens can never be too spoiled. People yes, kittens no.


TromDeGrey: Thank you very much. I actually had to cut out a lot of Tara’s bitching out Riley, cause it was unnecessary and went on too long, but it was so much fun! Glad you liked it. The rest, welllll, you’ll just have to wait and see.


veiled isis moon: Yeah, the lies ARE piling up, aren’t they? Now comes the tricky part, as they have to be revealed and dealt with. One or two will almost certainly be kinda sorta exposed (or not) in the next chapter. Does that help?


Thanks again to everyone for reading!


-Cameron



edited response to shuyaku to change info on Tara's job

---

What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

Edited by: tarawhipped at: 9/1/04 8:18 pm

[tarawhipped]

Here you go Kittens--one update as promised!


Title: Secrets and Spies
Author: Tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: Yes please!
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Chapter notes: Thoughts in
italics







Chapter Thirteen: Exposing Willow





At 8:45 a.m. Tara pulled to a stop in front of a large unobtrusive office building and checked the address she’d been given the week before.She let out a sigh as she got out of her car.The words ‘U.S. Army Administration Building’ were engraved above the double glass doors, with no other indication of the offices housed inside.



Very stealthy,
Tara thought as she walked into the small entryway occupied by a single gray metal desk.At her approach, the Corporal manning the desk looked up with an expression trapped somewhere between irritation and boredom.


“What can I do for you,” he asked in a voice that clearly reflected his intention to do as little as possible.


“Tara Maclay to see Miss Calendar.I believe I’m expected.”


“Down that hall, third door on the left,” he answered curtly, jerking his thumb in the general direction and returning his attention to his Captain America comic.


Tara murmured an equally curt thank you and briskly walked away.The door indicated had ‘Stenography Section 4’ etched into the frosted glass.Upon entering, she was assaulted with the sound of phones ringing, voices speaking, and the clickety-clack of a dozen typewriters.The large open room held roughly twenty desks, identical except for the women sitting at them.Tara noticed that many of the women wore the tan skirts and blouses of the Women’s Army Corps.To her left she saw a small private office marked Supervisor.



Okay Tara you can do this, it’s only for a few hours,
she convinced herself as she knocked and was bid to come in.The uniformed brunette sitting at the desk smiled warmly over her coffee mug as she gestured to a chair.


“Tara Maclay right?Commander Travers said you might stop by.Would you mind shutting that door—it’s hard to think with that racket, much less hold a conversation.”


“I appreciate you letting me barge in on so little notice, Miss Calendar.”


“Call me Jenny, and it’s no problem.I owed Quentin a favor, and he’s spoken very highly of you.I assume he told you what we do here at Special Info Branch?”


“Well, more or less—probably less.I know that you monitor all calls to and from War Department buildings.”


“Yeah, we spy on the spies—War Department, Army, government contractors—you name it.You wouldn’t believe the paranoia out there…which is why I can give you a desk on loan, but the phone will not be activated.”


“A desk will be fine.I hope—I mean, I don’t plan to be here very long.Someone is m-meeting me at noon.It was kind of um, unexpected, but I don’t think I’ll need to impose any longer than that.”


“Great.You look about as thrilled to be here as I do most days.I’m sure it’s nowhere near as exciting as your line of work, but we’re all on the same team, right?”


“If you don’t mind my asking, what do the, um, others know about me?”


“Your name.They don’t know you’re government—a few of them are civilians, so they’ll just assume you are too.As far as they’re concerned you’re here doing some work for one of the higher-ups.I doubt they’ll ask about it.”


Tara nodded with some relief as Jenny led her out into the office.Looking around the room, the agent saw only one empty desk.She noticed the other woman’s grimace as she steered them in that direction.The brunette turned and gave her an apologetic smile.


“Hate to do this to you—Cordelia, you want to move your suitcase,” Jenny stated, indicating the enormous makeup case occupying the open desk’s chair.An imperious glare was leveled at the supervisor, followed by the most disingenuous smile Tara had ever seen.


“Tara Maclay, this is Cordelia Chase, that’s Harmony Kendall, and next to her is Amy Madison.I’d tell you they don’t bite, but that hasn’t been confirmed.Enjoy your stay!Oh, and ladies,” she added to the three stenographers, “try not to embarrass yourselves—or me.”


The next three hours dragged on endlessly, and Tara found herself repeatedly checking the door while trying to work on her weekly report.Despite Jenny’s assurances, she had been concerned that the three women would grill her about her work, but Cordelia and Harmony seemed far more interested in asking about her personal life—did she had a boyfriend, was he cute, in the military…The fact that she’d said no to the first question hadn’t dissuaded the rest, though they spent most of the time discussing the men in their own lives.The third woman had remained quiet, seemingly working, but Tara could see out of the corner of her eye that Amy appeared to be eavesdropping while trying to look as though she wasn’t.


At exactly noon Jenny walked up to Tara’s desk to tell her she had a visitor.The blonde looked up with relief to see a smiling redhead standing shyly in the doorway, hands demurely folded in front of her.The agent gathered her things and practically bolted for the door.


“Willow!” she exclaimed with more exuberance than she intended.“I’m so glad you’re here.Let’s go.”
Get me the hell away from here now,
she wanted to add.


The two barely spoke as they made their way to a nearby café.Despite the beautiful day, Willow led them inside, away from the crowded patio tables.After settling at a private table in a remote corner and giving the waitress their orders, Willow breached the silence.


“I’m sorry about showing up at your office like that…I usually wouldn’t…but I didn’t know what else to do.Tara, I’ve just wanted to talk to you so much the past couple of days, and all these…things…keep getting in the way.I know it’s been kind of…awkward, you know, between us…but I don’t want—you know, I had a whole speech planned out in my head, and now it’s all confused, and…Tara?Say something?Please?”


The blonde had not been able to look at Willow since the redhead had begun talking.She knew they were going to have to talk, but part of her was secretly hoping for an interruption.She thought it ironic that she almost wished Riley would show up.As their drinks were served, she turned her eyes to Willow’s, instantly recognizing her own confliction and confusion reflected back.


“I don’t know what to say, Willow.What is it you w-want to hear?”She hadn’t intended to sound so defensive, and the hurt look on the redhead’s face made her instantly regret her harsh words.


“We kissed, Tara,” she whispered after a nervous glance around the largely deserted room.“We kissed, and I thought—no.I
know
that it meant something to me.No one’s ever made me feel that way before, and I thought you felt it to, but I just don’t know, cause you keep running away from me.”


Tara’s heart swelled at the words and simultaneously ached at the sight of the redhead, head bowed, eyes reddening, lip quivering.
She’s in so much pain, yet she’s still so brave.I can’t keep hurting her.I—



“I d-do care for you Willow, and I’m sorry I’ve been…um, distant?” she began, choosing her words carefully.“It’s just…it’s so soon…and unexpected…a little overwhelming—there’s so m-much we don’t know about each other.”


Willow’s expression changed from despondent to hopeful to elated as the blonde spoke.Practically bouncing in her seat, she blew out a puff of air and waved her hand.


“Is that all?Tara, that’s nothing!What do you want to know?I’m an open book—read me!”


“Come on Will, no one’s an open book.Everyone’s got secrets.”


The words were out of Tara’s mouth before she could stop herself, and a moment of uncomfortable silence descended, broken by the arrival of their food.The rest of lunch was devoted to safer topics, primarily films, which Willow claimed to be an expert on.Tara reluctantly remarked that her ‘lunch hour’ was almost over, but not before the tenacious redhead had extracted a promise of a movie that night.As they walked back to her office, Tara playfully chastised Willow for skipping class, and after several minutes she successfully tapped into the student’s guilt and convinced her to go late.Standing outside the office building, they eyed each other shyly, both wanting something but uncomfortably aware of the public location.Finally summoning her nerve, Willow leaned in to plant a quick peck on Tara’s cheek.The redhead grinned widely as she skipped to the bus stop, glancing back once to wave at the blushing blonde.






Once Tara saw Willow board the bus, she hurried to her car, eager to get to her real office.Halfway there she suddenly slammed on the brakes as a thought occurred to her.



Willow wasn’t going to go to school…she didn’t have her bag with her…it must be in her desk!



The agent made a quick u-turn and raced to the house, barely able to contain her excitement.As she walked into the house, the possibility that what she found in the drawer could potentially prove Willow’s guilt gave her a moment’s pause.Her anxiety mounted as she retrieved her lock picks, walked to the redhead’s room, pulled out the chair, and knelt by the drawer.With shaking hands she manipulated the lock.She eased open the drawer and held her breath at the sight of the canvas bag.She glanced nervously around her as she lifted it out, half expecting to be caught snooping.She sat on the floor and began unpacking the contents, setting aside the notebook as she stacked the books between her outstretched legs.Picking up the first, she read the title: A History of Paganism.Scowling, she looked at the next: Griffin’s Compendium of Pre-Christian Mythology.Rituals and Customs of the Ancient World.The Complete Anthology of Pagan Signs and Symbols.The Origin of Monsters: Witchcraft, Vampirism, and Lycanthropy in Medieval Europe.Tara opened the notebook, immediately recognizing Willow’s precise penmanship.Page after page was filled with notes, outlines, and bibliographic information.Tara stared at the books strewn around her.



What the hell—
Her perplexed expression faded as she remembered things the redhead had told her.A smile crept over her face, which quickly became a wide grin.



Willow you big goof, I knew you weren’t a spy.Oh, but sweetie, I don’t think you’ll ever be an engineer.








TBC in Chapter 14








What should I be but just what I am?
- Edna St.Vincent Millay

[shuyaku]

See, I knew it was nothing spy-ish. Just good, old-fashioned witchcraft stuff Nice little introduction to some familiar faces (names) in this chapter. Tara can have my job - I'm feeling a bit like her at the office - over qualified and annoyed .



Great update! I wonder how Tara is going to bring up the subject of witches and such. Willow did say she is an open book, so it should be interesting. I think it will be harder on Tara to come clean than for Willow...



-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[amazonaa]

That was great. And willow is so cute acting like a high school girl with a crush.





Great job. More soon, please.







brittney







"Arn't you going to tell me to 'break e leg'?"

"Break 'em both." Amber benson as Cheyenne in The Crush

[ladydameon]

OH, that was great....I found myself speed reading to get to what was in the desk....LOL....So where is Willow going? I don't remember - is Tara a witch in this story too? So many to keep straight in my head....Good job, I find the characters very believable - I can see it all happening.....

ladydameon

----------------

Goddess of Violence