Forever Mine - COMPLETE

[KnightlyLove]

Ch 6
Then she heard an unfamiliar voice. "I heard - " It stopped abruptly, and Willow plunged the dagger down toward her wrist. But no metal bit her arm - instead, her body was jerked and crushed by some invisible force, presumably attached to the large hands which held her wrists apart. "Honey," the voice said. "There is something seriously wrong with you."

Willow struggled against the titanic force, her eyes still shut. Just one drop, she thought, but she could feel the spell unraveling as each moment passed.

Finally she gave up and opened her eyes. Catherine, her co-worker, was crouched above her, her large body almost enveloping Willow's small frame. Catherine sighed when Willow's eyes opened, and plucked the dagger defly from Willow's fingers. "There is no way I'm going to let you kill yourself right in front of me," she said sassily, standing up.

Willow grinned weakly, and then lunged at the jar of paper clips on her desk. Catherine met her halfway, bowling her over onto her back. "Do I need to tie you up?" she said.

"Let this spell always last, until its sacrifice should pass," Willow said, closing her eyes and fighting the pull of the black magic. I would only need a second of power, just a moment, and it doesn't matter anyway... But it did matter. She hadn't used black magic since Tara died, and she wouldn't. Her baby...

"Tara," she sobbed. She couldn't waver now. If Tara came back, into Willow's body, only to be forced to kill her own daughter, it would destroy her.

"Do I need to call a shrink, or..." Catherine moved to Willow's desk and found her purse.

"Hey! Violat- "

"Shut it," Catherine said calmly, extracting Willow's cell phone. "Let's see... recent calls... Huh. Is that even a name?"

She kept talking and fiddling with the phone, but Willow wasn't paying attention anymore. Tara whispered softly, "Willow," and hers was the only voice Willow heard.

"Stay with me," Willow whispered back. "I love you, baby."

"I love you," Tara whispered. "I will stay... as long as I can."

Willow never thought she'd see Buffy almost pull a metal door off. In fact, she hadn't seen Buffy this angry in... well, at least a year.

"Where is she?" Her voice echoed strangely through the abandoned office. Then Buffy was standing over her. "Willow?"

"Buffy." Willow was sitting in a chair in Catherine's office.

Catherine came around her desk and handed Buffy the knife. "I took it away from her."

Buffy forced a smile. It felt very odd. "Thank you so much. I'm sorry... uh, it's good to meet you." She shook Catherine's hand awkwardly. "Hey, Will? Come on."

"She's got the week off, and please, schedule an appointment with these counselors." She handed Buffy a sheet of paper. "Good luck, Willow," she said.


Willow got up and plodded with Buffy out of the building. The moment the door closed, Buffy rounded on her, opening her mouth. Willow beat her to it. "Buff, I was attacked. Something... something possessed me." The lie came out smoothly, effortlessly.

"Oh my god, good," Buffy gushed, holding Willow tightly. Willow hugged her back, making sure that her stomach got nowhere near Buffy. She'd probably never suspect, but...

"You didn't seriously think I'd do something like that?" Willow said softly, hoping Tara couldn't really hear her.

"No, I just... I don't know." Buffy searched Willow's face. "Spike's been killing again."

"You caught him?" Willow asked as they moved to the car. I need to find something sharp - the trunk. She rounded the back of the car and opened the trunk, where an axe gleamed dully in the streetlights.

"Something's been messing with his mind, talking to him - making him do things," Buffy said. "What are you doing?"

Willow paused. Buffy continued, "The thing beneath us? I think it's started devouring."

Dawn said that Joyce told her Buffy would betray her. The omniscent dead is always cause for question, but...

"Willow," Tara's voice whispered in her ear. "I'm fading."

"Hey," Buffy said. "Are you being attacked again?"

"It's Tara," Willow said slowly, realizing that if this really was Tara, she was signing her death warrant. Buffy would never let her sacrifice herself to bring Tara back. But the pieces of the puzzle were clicking into place. Let's just say something was able to use Tara's voice, and it knew that I needed to bring her back, and it convinced me that there was no other way than by opening my body as a receptacle...

"Tara's been speaking to me, like her soul escaped from Hades and found its way here.."

"But I did, baby," Tara's voice came close to her ear, and Willow reflexively looked - seeing, for the first time in almost six months, the love of her life. Not her corpse, black and rotting, but Tara, so close she could touch her, her eyes twinkling as she danced away.

Buffy was weilding the axe Willow had almost used to cut herself. "This is the part where you run away, before I chop you into tiny Tara-looking demon chunks."

Tara just laughed. "Just tell me who you are," Willow said.

"I stand by my opinion. The world would be a better place if you took a razorblade to your wrist?"

Willow shuddered. "Stop."

Tara was cruel, mocking. "No, baby, don't go, you left such a big hole. It hurts so bad. I hear you at night, crying your little heart out." She dropped the attitude, but somehow her blank face was even more terrifying. "You don't know hurt. This last year's gonna seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good-versus-evil, balancing the scales thing? I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish."

Tara sports a wicked grin, and then her skin rolls back, and her jaws flip back and she's turning inside out until she's a floating ball of flesh, and then even that disappears.

Buffy and Willow stared at each other.



During the events of Sleeper

Willow turned over in bed, eyes wide open. It's 4:30 in the morning. Why on earth did I just wake up? She rolled over again, and then gave it up as hopeless and went downstairs.

The kitchen light was already on, and Buffy sat stiffly on one of the tall stools at the counter. "Hey Buff," Willow said cheerfully, making a beeline for the freezer.

Buffy was oddly quiet, so Willow perched beside her, pulling the top off a half-gallon of vanilla ice cream and peering curiously over her friend's shoulder. "Whatcha got there?"

"A postcard," Buffy said, her voice betraying tears. "From L.A." She offered it to Willow. It pictured a young family, a man holding an infant and his wife with her arms around them both.

"It's, um, I mean, that's..."

"He's socute," Buffy gushed, and Willow looked at the postcard again, dubiously.

"I guess so, if you like the hunky-I'm-going-a-bit-soft-in-the-belly look..."

"No, not Joe, the baby!" Buffy had successfully scoured her face of tears. Okay... odd.

"Did Angel call you?"

Buffy twisted her lip. "No."

"Okay... did the First visit you?"

"N-no, I don't think so..."

"I could keep at this all day - uh, night. You know me, I'm big with the questioning."

Buffy looked sincerely frightened by the prospect. She sighed. "Something happened with Spike tonight. I saw him take home a girl, and then later I confronted him about it and he said... well, he basically just said he'd never do anything like that."

"Still not clear on the teary-eyed postcard affair."

Buffy jumped, raising her eyebrows. "I am not having an affair with Spike. I swear. I wish you guys would stop bothering me about it!"

"Sorry." Willow dug into the ice cream, which had melted enough that the edges were now edible. Another affair with Spike, is more like it.

"He was just really... upset... and he's..."

"Verifiably insane, generally whiny..."

"I feel like he really cares. I just wish... I could feel the same about him. But I don't." Buffy sighed and commandeered the spoon.

Willow felt like she should respond, but couldn't think of anything to say. "Remember what you said to me two years ago, with the Oz thing? You said no matter what, somebody's going to get hurt, and the most important thing is to be honest."

"Yeah," Buffy said hopelessly.

Willow picked up the postcard again. "Hey, Buffy? There's something we really need to talk about."

"As long as it's not Spike," Buffy said gamely.

"It's not. It's about... me." Buffy's eyebrows raised, but she waited. "But um speaking of him, remember how you didn't tell us about... you guys? For a long time? Also Xander didn't say anything about how he wasn't sure if he wanted to marry Anya, and also Anya didn't tell us about the vengence demon thing, and I mean Giles just up and left without saying anyth -"

"Okay, Will. What haven't you told me?" Buffy said dryly.

"Uh... yeah." A long silence filled the room. Willow sighed into it, playing with the postcard. "So, um, last year. Our last night together. Me and Tara." She sighed again. "Did a spell." There was another long silence.

"God, it's like pulling teeth," Buffy commented. She put her arm around Willow. "I'm sure it can't be half as bad as you think it is. I love you, Willow. Whatever it is, I'm here."

Willow smiled timidly at Buffy. "I, um... baby," she squeaked.

"Okay, say it again, slower, louder, and with a lower sound frequency."

"I'm having a baby."

Willow watched the emotions flicker across Buffy's face - surprise, sympathy, understanding, fear, and finally, anger. "Oh," Buffy said at last, and her arm withdrew from Willow's hunched shoulders. The postcard was in tatters in her hands, Willow noticed vacantly. "Now," Buffy continued. "Currently. Will be. In the future. Having."

Willow nodded silently. Buffy got up and began pacing. "Have you talked to any witchy people about this? The coven? Giles?" Willow shook her head. "Anya?" Willow reluctantly nodded. "What did she say? That was a lot of black magic, Willow, you... who knows what..."

"I don't care," Willow said firmly. "I love Tara, and this is her baby, and I love her, too. No matter what Anya, or anybody else says, I'm keeping her." Buffy mutely shook her head. "You're going to have to either poison me, or try your hand against Bad Me to, to hurt her."

"I never said anything like that, Will." Buffy put her hand on Willow's shoulder. "I would never... a woman's right to chose, you know me."

"Really?" Willow's face lit up.

"That doesn't mean that if it ends up being some kind of evil demon from your worst nightmare, I won't kill it." Buffy offered a halfhearted smile, but both of them knew it wasn't really a joke. "And I do think you're putting yourself in an awful lot of danger," she went on. "But like I said, I love you. Whatever your choice is, I support it."

Willow stood and hugged Buffy tightly, straight-on, as she'd avoided doing for the last month. Buffy returned the gesture, but released Willow almost immediately. "Oh my god, Willow," she said. "Your tummy."

Willow looked sheepish. "Yeah. I hadn't really planned that part," she confessed. She was sincerely surprised at how fast she'd started showing, her flat skinny frame unsurprisingly noncomplacent with the notion of secrecy.

Buffy walked around her, making Willow even more embarassed. Finally she prodded the spot in question, eliciting a squeak and full-on retreat.

"Hey! Do not impede science!" Buffy said, charging Willow. Willow slapped away her hand and then tickled behind Buffy's ears, which sparked a full-on tickle battle. They both collapsed a short time later on the living room couch, giggling weakly.

[Ariel]

DIBS!!!

KnightlyLove:

Wow, first time I’ve read a fic and WANTED someone to cut herself! I was praying Willow would find the paper clip, letter opener, staple, anything! Now I want to know what’s gonna happen!!!

I love pregnant Willow, but most importantly I love that she is eating the ice cream melted around the edges!

"Oh my god, Willow," she said. "Your tummy."

Willow looked sheepish. "Yeah. I hadn't really planned that part," she confessed. She was sincerely surprised at how fast she'd started showing, her flat skinny frame unsurprisingly noncomplacent with the notion of secrecy.

Buffy walked around her, making Willow even more embarassed. Finally she prodded the spot in question, electing a squeak and full-on retreat.

"Hey! Do not impede science!" Buffy said, charging Willow. Willow slapped away her hand and then tickled behind Buffy's ears, which sparked a full-on tickle battle. They both collapsed a short time later on the living room couch, giggling weakly.

Also, third sentence in paragraph two: She was sincerely surprised . . . Nice writing! The whole coming out pregnant process was funny and true to the characters and I loved it ending with a tickle battle.

Keep writing!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

[DaddyCatALSO]

Okay, the question on my mind; was the voice in Willow's mind FirstTara both before and after she tried to shed her blood, or was the before-voice actaully Tara's shade saying she's completed her trials and her body really hasn't been restored enough?

At last Willow's being honest, so good to see. And glad Buffy recognizes (unlike some not most editorial cartoonists and letter-to-the-editor writers) that "right to choose" doesn't equal "maximum possible number of terminations per year."

[Morrigan]

I'm glad Willow came clean about the baby. And even more glad that happenstance kept her from succeeding in slashing her wrists.

I must say - even having that scene in only my imagination is...gah. The First, speaking through Tara's mouth? Talk about an essential wrongness!

[KnightlyLove]

Ariel
Hehe, I know, right? confusing.
But then what would happen to Willow? She would erase her soul... that's... pretty bad...

Doya? I, too, thought that scene was quite adorable. It's hard to show Willow pregnant in a domestic kind of way without 1. Tara, and 2. her telling anybody. But next chapter will do the thing justice, I think.

DaddyCat
I guess you'll just have to wait and find out!
I mean, there's no real way of knowing whether it was really Tara. Willow can't just knock on Hades' door and ask him, after all. BUT something to know about me, which should be obvious from the prior two chapters: I've always thought the First had a whole lot of bark and farrr too little bite. Selectively omniescent is such bullshit. Too much was sacrificed for the character story in Season 7, it became less believable. Grr.

Thanks for noting that I did use "right to chose" in a very different way than it's usually used; I said that Willow had the right to chose LIFE, just as well as she could chose abortion. Complicated complicated!

Morrigan
Hey... Becks, was it?
Thanks for reading my story! I've always felt really mixed about the fact that Amber Benson didn't voice/act the First's attack on Willow in canon. I mean, yes, it would have been totally awful. But it's just another example of how the First is just totally toothless in Season 7 (as I was saying to DaddyCat). I mean, there's a reason why writers don't give the Big Bad as much power as the First had - because it would just completely screw the main characters. Yet Whedon DOES, but gets around it by making the First somehow just incredibly DUMB about some stuff. Not so scary.

So, okay... happenstance is definitely not any better. But I was handed a bad situation, and I wanted to fix as much of it as I could. First, by having it be Tara that attacked Willow, as it should have been. Second, by giving the First teeth.
I was driving my friend around and brainstorming for this like last month, and we worked it all out. Beautiful, right? And then, as we pulled up to a red light, I was like, "So wait. What stops her?" And he was like, "Oh, you DON'T want her to die?" -_-
It was important for me that she figure it out, though. Buffy gave her the clues she needed, the information she lacked, but Willow was the actor throughout the sequence. It was she who decided to do it, and it was she who realized that she was being manipulated.

[KnightlyLove]

Ch 7

With Buffy and her mother out of the way, only Xander remained. Seeing as Giles was in England, Willow felt justified in excluding him.

She surprised at Xander at his new work site the next morning. "Hey Xan-man," she yelled cheerfully, waving. He walked over, clipboard in hand.

"Hey Will," he said. "What's up? Any news on our favorite blood hound?"

"Spike's fine, Buffy's on his tail."

"Oh," Xander said, looking curiously at Willow.

"I've got something I really need to tell you, and I don't want to wait till you're off work. Can you take a break?"

"Uh... sure. I'll just tell Tom," he said. A few minutes later he met Willow on a nearby bench, shaded by a great birch tree.

She sighed. It did get easier to tell people every time, but not by much. "There's something I haven't told anybody, something going on with me," she prepped.

He looked concerned. "Hey, Will, relax. I'm sure it's fine." He glanced around. "Does it have to do with all those weird comments Anya keeps making?"

"In fact, yes." Willow realized her hands were shaking, and clasped them in her lap. "She thinks I'm doing something dangerous, but I swear, if it is I'll deal with the consequences."

Xander smiled, but his face gained a few more lines and she could tell the smile was forced. "Does it have to do with the magicks?"

"Kind of. Something me and Tara did before she died," she said carefully, watching him. He visibly relaxed when she said Tara's name. "She, um... I'm going to have her baby," she finished in a rush.

Xander froze. "What?"

"Yep." Willow waited.

"How is that possible? Before she died? Wait..." Xander looked so confused that Willow had to laugh a little. "That was kind of a long time ago."

"Six months," Willow confirmed, trying to read his face and failing.

"Magic?" Xander still just looked confused. He shook his head, and then grinned. "Hey. Hey!"

"What?" Willow said, worried.

"You're having a baby!" he yelled, and Willow shrunk from the stares his shout elicited. He stood, opening his arms to her. She overcame her embarassment and collapsed into him, burrowing her face in his warm chest.

"This is great," he gushed. Willow had to pull away and look at him. He sincerely doesn't think there's any problem, she thought.

"Um," she said. "Anya thinks it's going to be really bad."

Xander shook his head. "What could be bad? Except, I guess... delivery," he whispered, making a face. "Hey, have you gone to the doctor's? Do you have a picture to show Uncle Xander?"

Willow snorted. "Uncle Xander?" He just smiled. "No, I haven't."

"Hey. You should."

"Hey," Willow said. "Maybe I will." She tilted her head. "If you come with me."

His eyes lit up even more, if possible. "Okay," he said.


* * * *

Tara was laying in a great red bed, and Willow was on top of her. Tara giggled and squirmed delightfully as Willow trailed kisses up her torso. When Willow reached her ear, Tara's core started rubbing Willow's body rhythmically. "Mmmm, Tara," Willow moaned, relishing the feeling of her thighs squeezing her, Tara's desire against her skin. Tara's body was just begging for her.

So Willow entered her, and the moment she did Tara's face filled with disgust and fear. Tara started pushing her away violently, hysterically, but Willow kept pumping. "Baby, this is what you wanted, isn't it?" Willow was strangely desperate.

"No!" Tara screamed, and finally kicked Willow, hard enough that Willow pulled out and she was able to escape. She fled the room, naked. Willow got off the bed, walking to the dresser. She opened the door to a mirror. Oz stared back at her from inside the mirror.

She woke sweating and shaking. The clock read 6:45. She cursed fluently (though it wouldn't be recognizable as cursing to the average 21st century individual), and lay back in bed, wondering if she'd ever get a full night's rest again.

Her mind returned to the dream. She hadn't had that dream in a long time. They started when she'd seen Oz last, and she'd had them after Glory sucked Tara's mind and throughout the time she and Tara were apart, while she was abusing the magics. Oz, she thought mournfully. Poor Oz.

Tara had always been clear about what she wanted in bed, and nothing like that had ever really happened, not even close. But Willow had to admit that she'd pushed Oz off her more than once after his penis got involved, and if she was being really honest, she would also admit that she should probably have done so a few more times than she did. She didn't mind kissing him, or the feeling of his skin, of his loving. He was always so gentle. But...

She sighed, propping herself up in bed. She spied an open spellbook on her bedside table, and passed the rest of the morning skimming its pages for an alternative to the Rhoto-Yaara stone necklace, since acquiring it didn't seem likely. She'd finished preparing Tara's body last week, and it lay in stasis now, almost as good as new (healing dead flesh was an iffy proposition, but she tried). She hadn't heard any ghostly voices, either, which she hoped meant that Tara was still on her way. Even if she wasn't, Willow would spend the rest of her life believing she was, because that was certainly better than the alternative.

When Xander rang the doorbell, she opened the door and gasped. He was bearing an enormous bouquet of flowers. "How's mommy doing?" he said cheerfully, almost bowling her over as he entered the house.

"Wow," she managed, "Thanks."

"No prob," he said. "I mean, with all the unwanted houseguests, someone's got to bring a little joy." He refered to Andrew and Spike, new and well-secured arrivals in the Summers residence. Winking, he dropped the flowers into -

"Xander, that's a bucket."

"I mean, none of these guileless receptacles would suffice," he said, waving at the various pottery pieces about the newly repaired living room and making his way with the bucket toward the kitchen.

"Want some porridge...?" She trailed off, spying some white smoke. "Damn!" she cursed, sprinting to the stove. "It's ruined," she said in dismay.

Xander twisted his lip. "You can't seriously make that every single morning, Will," he said over the sound of water filling the bucket.

Willow shrugged helplessly. "I can't really make anything, Xander," she complained. "When I try to make pancakes, the fire alarm goes off -" She stopped speaking in dismay as the aforementioned device began blaring. Her shoulders sagged in defeat.

"It's alright," Xander grinned. "Let's go out to breakfast."

"Is there time?"

"Sure," Xander said. "Like forty-five minutes."

"We better go," Willow said fretfully.

Forty minutes later, she'd worked up into a nervous ball of tension. "Drive faster," she urged, adding, "please?"

Xander raised his hands off the steering wheel. The car was at a dead stop. "Will, we're gonna make it." He tapped on the horn, urging on the car in front of them in the parking structure. For some reason, the driver had chosen to wait for an elderly couple, who were taking their sweet time opening the doors to their car. He sighed. "Or not. Maybe you should just hop out and sign in."

Willow's eyes were wide. "Go around them?"

Xander obliged, inching around the other car and immediately finding a spot. Two minutes later they were in the waiting room.

"Will, just sit down," Xander urged. The baby pictures on the wall were making his palms sweat. Willow collapsed into the seat next to him, giving the family next to them sideways glances. Finally, her name was called, and the pair sprung out of the seats.


Xander spent the next twenty minutes walking in and out of the examination room, explaining
to anyone who would listen that he was Willow's best friend, ever since they were kids, and he was very fond of doctor's offices, especially their hallways.

He came in for the ultrasound, though, his eyes darting everywhere but Willow until she asked for his hand.

But when the doctor approached Willow's stomach with the device, there was a loud shrieking noise and the display went black. The doctor apologized profusely and they relocated to a new room, against Xander's better judgment. When the performance repeated itself, Willow said she was just fine without an ultrasound and maybe they should go.

"Everything else is clean, though," Willow said as they walked back to the parking structure. "I mean, I checked out fine."

Xander's palms were still sweating. "Of course you did," he said reassuringly.

"Xander, you were as nervous as I was," she chided playfully.

"Yep," he conceded, and they shared the ride home in companionable quiet.

[Ariel]

Dibs!!!

KnightlyLove/Rose,

Lots going on here!

First, Xander's reaction seemed very endearing and very true to character. I loved his warm hug of acceptance and awkward comments at the hospital.

The nightmare was creepy and again, very believable, it made exact sense that this would be a nightmare of hers.

I disagree with your intepretation of her relationship with Oz, though. I remember S-3 them basically doing it in a van. I think she wanted it, wanted him that way for a time in her life. But your change is cool, just sharing a different viewpoint.

Finally, the ultrasound machines (2) going non-functional with alarming sounds yet. Definitely builds suspense. Okay, I'll admit - I'm worried now!!! Because I want them to have their baby and have it be okay. *sniffles a little*

Anyway, keep writing!!!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

[Finey_McFine]

Hmmmm, I agree with Ariel...lot's going on.

First the talk with Xander. I love that he's excited and has no thoughts of demon babies. Even when he's older, when it comes to Willow, Xander is all heart.

Second, the dream. It reminded me of what happened between W/T in 'Where The Wild Things Are,' so it makes sense that it's still one of her fears. That the person that she loves the most rejects her at their most intimate moment.

And third, the ultrasound. What is in her stomach that doesn't want to be seen? An alien baby? lol Let's hope it doesn't claw it's way out...yuck!

Excited to see where all this is going. Hopefully Tara will make it back in time for the baby's arrival!

[DaddyCatALSO]

Well, again we have to wonder, was it the baby or some ally of The First interfering with the ultrasound?

But Xander is the nice guy he always was at his best, someone I missed in Season Sex.

[haha228]

Love the way the plot is developing. These lines:

"She hadn't heard any ghostly voices, either, which she hoped meant that Tara was still on her way. Even if she wasn't, Willow would spend the rest of her life believing she was, because that was certainly better than the alternative."

Wonderful. Simple, elegant, non-anvilicious, but brings a lump to my throat and the lyrics of Love Me by Collin Raye.

As an aside, I thought the whole "You can't see her, because you've killed." thing said by Azure Skye (Cassie Newton) hit pretty hard. As usual, Alyson (Willow) stole the show with her heartbreakingly convincing responses. It was even better, I thought, than if Tara had actually appeared.

[DaddyCatALSO]

Hmm, Willow tells Buffy, tells Xander the next day, she's 6 months along in story time, you post this on Annunciation Day, when Gabriel appears to Mary telling her she';s going to give birth to Jesus and tells her that her cousin ELizabeth is pregnat with John the future Baptist and that Elizabeth is 6 months along!

[JustSkipIt]

I really expected the boss to end up being some sort of witch or something. Like hour jenni calendar wasn't just a comp science teacher.im glad
Willow told everyone but horribly dissapointed in her not having pre natal care until now. And why would a witch see a doctor rather than midwife. Tara must be totally appalled. Maybe it's extra motivation to make it back.

Any easy that'd sport of personal thing I guess. I don't comment enough but I love this story.
[/list]

[KnightlyLove]

A/N: Okayyyy. I'm just trying to wrap up my fictions, because they're really weighing on me! I'm sorry if this is a bit rushed, but this is exactly what I had planned from the beginning. Hopefully it's fulfilling enough for you guys.

Ch 8

Approaching Death’s last river
The maiden found a fever
For her great challenge at last
Wore her lover’s mask.
Willow beckoned from beyond the veil -
“Come along,” she told her tale.
And here, the maiden could not tell
Truth from lie, woman from belle.
Was this her? Or would she lead astray?
How could she find her way?
Yet remembering old stories,
The maiden turned away from glory
And into the darkness, never looking back.

Far off, she heard the scream
And plodding through the darkness, she found
That up was somehow down.
She found the tether,
and followed it
down to her
body

The screaming filtered through the haze. Her body was tingling, alive - or was it? Her skin was numb, and she felt heavy, dull. She tried to open her eyes, but they seemed glued shut. She tried to raise her hand, but it was tethered down. Her muscles tore as she struggled to move her fingers.

Was it her that was screaming? No, she determined - her mouth was just slightly open, and her mouth was dry, so dry. If she was screaming, she would feel her voice, just as she felt her muscles. Her voice would break. This voice did not stop. It was fresh, new, alive. Nothing so dead as she could scream so freshly.

She had to get up. She had to help the woman screaming. New determination energized her, and she managed to raise her arm to her eyes. She rubbed them carefully, feeling the flesh, so paper-thin. She squeezed them shut, and then opened them.

She was staring at a ceiling. The room was dark, but somehow familiar - she turned her head, and there was Joyce’s old freestanding bicycle. Buffy’s basement. The screaming was coming from above, and now that she had been alive for a few minutes, she could discern other sounds as well. The clashing of blades echoed hollowly, and above it all a humming sound dominated. The sound of magic. Willow’s magic, Tara realized, with a sinking feeling that had nothing to do with her organs settling. Capable now of the pessimism of the living, she remembered her lover under the sway of dark magic and felt very afraid.

Fear impelled her upright, though the process was excruciating. She could feel every heartbeat, pounding in her ears and driving her thick and stagnant blood painfully through her veins. Touching the table she had laid in stasis on, she could not tell whether her flesh would collapse under the pressure, and moreso as her feet hit the ground. She was barefoot, clothed only in an unfamiliar white tunic, loose pants, and a strange talisman around her neck. She peered at it, teetering, and the gems on the talisman glimmered darkly back at her in the half-light. They had anticipated her arrival, she realized, bringing a hand up to touch the unbroken skin on her chest. They had prepared her body.

The magic thrummed louder, but above it there was the sound of pure pain, cutting Tara’s heart. Who was that woman, screaming?

Coaxing the muscles in her legs into motion did not prove as difficult as maintaining her balance, but she made it to the stairs and from there she clung to the handrail, taking it one step at a time. She reached forward and opened the door, momentarily distracted by the sight of her own hand, grey and thin and very dead. Am I really alive? she wondered.

And then she looked to her right, into the living room, and saw Willow. She was kneeling, a large axe gripped in her hands. Her eyes were closed, her face serene, and she was chanting, her lips moving soundlessly under the persistent thrum of magic. Before her there was an array of spell components, and the whole house was glowing with the power of her spell.

Suddenly, Willow crumpled, and Tara found out it had been her screaming all along. Not in Willow’s voice, but the voice of a demon in pure agony.

Tara rounded the door frame, trying to get to Willow, but she had only made it a few steps before a huge shape rammed into her, overcoming her already frail balance. She struggled against it, but it was too strong, and she was so weak. The meaty sound of a sword saved her, and she pushed the Hellspawn off her, meeting Xander’s - single - eye. He smiled wordlessly, and then something behind her caught his eye.

Tara turned in time to see Willow, calm again, finish her chant. The power of Willow’s spell levitated the axe in her hands, and Tara could feel the spell’s effects ripple off the axe in waves. She noted with detachment that Willow’s hair had turned completely white, and then Willow’s eyes opened, meeting Tara’s. “You made it,” she said softly.

And then she collapsed bonelessly, the spell ending abruptly. “Willow!” Xander cried, running to her body. Tara scrambled to her feet and followed him, but by the time she arrived Xander had already lifted her into his arms. Tara could see that his body was shaking, his fear equalled only by his devotion. She looked at Willow’s unconscious body, for the first time seeing her sunken cheekbones, the black bruises under her eyes. Something was terribly wrong.

“We have to get her to the van,” Xander said desperately. “The driveway.”

Tara nodded and picked up the axe, unsure if she could wield it but willing to try anything. She led him to the front door, opening it and quickly scanning the front yard and street. No demons were apparent, so she turned to the van in the driveway, opening the trunk for Xander. A woman exited the Summers’ house and ran to the truck. “How is she?” she asked.

“Bad,” Xander said, and he got into the van, laying Willow out on the bench.

Tara’s heart stopped. With Willow’s body stretched out, her bloated stomach was apparent, its hugeness making Willow look even more frail and tiny. Xander paused for a second, adjusting Willow’s arms before turning to Tara. “We have to get away from the Hellmouth before Spike and Buffy destroy it. We can’t stop for anything. I’m driving.” He hopped out of the van, saying as he left, “I’m going to get to the nearest hospital.”

She’s in labor, Tara realized, horrified. She knelt next to Willow, cupping her lover’s face in her hands. “You have to wake up,” she said to Willow quietly, weaving magic into the plea.

Willow’s eyes opened obediently, but even in the dark of the van Tara could see how completely drained she was. “Tara,” she breathed, before another contraction hit her, wracking her body for what felt to Tara like an eternity.

When it was finished, Willow’s whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat. She moaned, her eyes closed. “I can’t,” she said, so low that Tara had to read her lips over the rumble of the van’s engine. The drain of the spell on Willow’s already taxed body must have been immense, Tara realized. She was dying.

Tara took Willow’s hand in her own, her mind racing and her only thought for Willow. She wasn’t a doctor, but she knew that if Willow could not deliver the baby, mother and child would die together. Better the child, but how?

Willow was limp, and first Tara needed to give her energy. She entwined her fingers with Willow’s, noticing how bony Willow’s fingers were. She had been weak for a long time before this, Tara realized. The baby had fed on Willow’s body, and now there was little left.

Tara closed her eyes and plunged into her inner self, finding Willow there, waiting. She felt Willow’s body start to seize up in preparation, and where there was empty pain she filled it with her own strength, her love and devotion. She felt the contraction come, and after a few minutes it ended. Willow did not have the strength to squeeze Tara’s hand, but she was still awake, delirious with agony. Alive.

Tara’s hands moved to Willow’s pants, and she loosened them, pulling them off Willow’s limp body. They were wet with birthing fluid, sweat and blood. Too much blood. She felt exhaustion slow her, but she knew this was just the beginning, and steeled herself, touching Willow’s swollen belly, probing.

She felt their child then, for the first time. It was bright and alert, more alive than either of its mothers. Ready for freedom, for breath - ready to live. Willow’s body tensed again, and Tara grasped blindly for Willow’s hands, clutching them, pouring all her strength into Willow’s spent body. Though she had not meant it, she could still feel the baby’s presence there. The baby was straining too, constrained but yearning, and through the contraction and the roiling pain, the impossibility of Willow’s task, Tara sensed Willow reaching out to their baby with the warmest affection and comfort. Tara could feel relief radiating from their baby at Willow’s touch, and realized that it had somehow known of Willow’s danger.

But could they do it? Willow’s head was lolling, and Tara knew that she had slipped away again, seeking the relief that only unconsciousness can grant. Tara reached toward her, and exhaustion weighed her hand down, so that it fell to rest of Willow’s chest instead of her cheek. “Wake up, Willow,” she said, trying to summon the same spell as earlier, but not finding the energy for it. They only had a few contractions left, Tara knew. If they didn’t reach a hospital very, very soon… Tara thought, and the answer came to her. She could shrink the baby, likely killing it in the process. But then the last few contractions would not be wasted. And Willow would live.

Tara set her mouth, realizing that it was the only option. She could not stand by and let Willow die. She shunted away her feelings, grown stronger after feeling the baby’s presence.

And then Willow’s eyes flickered open. “Help me,” she said, and her eyes flickered with more life than Tara felt. Willow reached out and gripped Tara’s fingers, and then her eyes rolled back, and Tara felt all of her energy flowing into Willow, melding with the baby’s energy. The last thing she felt before darkness overwhelmed her vision was the feeling of freedom, delicious air.

She woke to the sound of a baby’s squalling, fresh and joyful and filled with life. Willow was still unconscious, but she was alive, breathing shallowly. Tara moved between Willow’s legs, and picked up their baby. A boy, yowling now at the injustice of being expelled so abruptly. Tara could not stop her helpless smile at his fervor, holding the tiny body of their son and crying tears of joy. He looked up at her, alert, and she could not help but believe that he recognized her. She loved him as she had loved nothing before.

She cast about and found a pile of sheets and towels, which she used first as a bed for him, wiping his tiny body until it was almost clean, and then swaddling him and picking him back up. With the blood wiped off, the pallor of his skin and the whiteness of the fine short hairs of his head was more obvious. His fury had abated somewhat with her attention, and he was now looking around, as if deciding where he was. His gaze finally dropped to Willow, and as if in response, Willow woke.

Her smile was sleepy and slow, but cognizant. Tara placed the baby in her arms, and Willow moved a little to peer at his face, making a little sound of awe. Tara spread a sheet over them, and found a little space on the bench next to Willow, putting her arms around the two of them.

Xander found them like that a few moments later, opening the van’s back door. The sky was dark with ash, and looking at his somber face framed by glowing embers, Tara knew that the baby might be the least of the changes in their lives.

[tejinashi]

can we have an epilogue, pretty please?