Chapter Four: Apart...Together...Apart (provides all of the info of previous submission without details)
Tara woke up by hearing a loud squeak coming near her ear; she opened her eyes and saw her green eyed girlfriend’s eyes a few inches from her face.
“Happy Christmas” announced Willow putting a light kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.
“Merry Hanukah” said Tara returning the kiss.
“Hanukah ended five days ago.”
“It was the first thought that came into my mind.” Tara kissed her again repositioning herself to deepen the kiss.
“Umm…that is how I’d like to wake up more often…” said Willow when the kiss ended.
“Me too. What time is it? When is your aunt going to expect us up?”
Willow looked over at the clock, it was almost 9 am. “Aunt Joyce tends to sleep in. Yesterday she didn’t wake up until almost 11.”
“Cool. Tara moved closer to Willow and began to kiss her girlfriend. Tara used her tongue to gain entrance to her girlfriend’s mouth, and urged Willow onto her back. Tara covered Willow’s body with her own and explored the warm recesses of her girlfriend’s mouth and neck. She paid special attention to her pulse point, nipping gently at this sensitive area. Tara enjoyed feeling Willow play with her hair and she felt Willow’s hand begin to snake under her nightshirt when they heard a loud knock on the door. This caused both girls to jump apart. Tara looked at Willow who was seriously flushing.
“Come in Aunt Joyce,” said Willow.
Tara tried to make her face look as natural as possible and smiled when Willow’s aunt came into the room. Aunt Joyce asked, “What do you two want for breakfast?”
“A..a..anything i..i..is f..f..fine” stuttered Tara.
“What do you feel like making Aunt Joyce, it is your holiday. I could cook if you want...” countered Willow.
Tara thought about Christmas morning before her mom got sick. She remembered that her mother always made pancakes “Or I could make pancakes,” piped up Tara. “Mama used to always make us pancakes on Christmas morning. She’d even make them into funny shapes sometimes.”
“Yeah, Aunt Joyce, let’s let Tara make her funny pancakes.” Willow seemed to be very excited at the idea.
Aunt Joyce agreed and the two girls got up and began to make the bed. Tara was leaving for the bathroom when Willow enveloped her in a hug. “Merry Christmas honey, you are the best holiday present I could ever hope for. Thank you so much for coming here.”
Tara smiled at her and Willow said, “Well, if we are going to have breakfast, I guess I better let you go do your morning stuff.” Tara went down the hallway and into the bathroom.
Tara opened the door just as Willow was reaching up to kiss her aunt, and smiled at the two women who obviously cared so much about each other. It made her miss her mother so much. The pain of her mother’s death was usually just a dull ache, but at times like this it felt like a stabbing pain.
Willow must have seen a hint of the sadness in her eyes, because she asked, “What is wrong sweetie?”
“N...n...nothing, w...w...why would anything be w...w...wrong?” Tara replied.
Willow ticked off on her fingers, “One. Smile didn’t go all the way to your eyes. Two: stutter. Three: Sad eyes.”
“I…I miss my mom. Seeing you kissing your aunt made me remember doing the same thing to Mama. I m...m...miss her so much, especially around the holidays.” Tara realized that she was going to cry, before even the first tear came out, she found herself being hugged by both women.
Tara enjoyed the sensation for a moment, but then decided that she needed to pull herself together.
Tara was touched when Joyce quietly said, “I know I am not even close, but if you need a hug, just ask. I got plenty of hugs to spare.”
The three women held each other for a few moments and then Tara pulled away and said, “Well, pancakes won’t just make themselves.”
All three women smiled and went down to the kitchen. Willow and Joyce sat at the small island counter in the kitchen, while Tara worked in the kitchen making the breakfast. Tara was amazed at the childlike glee that Willow showed while she watched her make the pancakes.
The three women had a leisurely breakfast and then went into the living room to sit and talk. During breakfast Joyce had shared her rules of the holiday. No one needed to do anything that they didn’t really want to do, people could wear their pajamas for as long as they wanted to, and that meals would just be decided in the moment. Christmas was a day off.
“Did you have any holiday traditions that you wanted to celebrate Tara?” asked Joyce after she had delineated her rules.
Tara thought about the traditions of her mother.
What would they think about our pagan rituals? I should probably say ‘nothing special’” “Answer her honestly; unless it involves something illegal or immoral, I am sure that we’d all be up for it.” said Willow.
“Well, Mama and I used to…we used to go for a walk t...t...to the forest and thank the goddess and the universe for the day and often we would do a mini solstice ritual.” She looked at Willow. “D...d...did I ever mention that my mama and I were Wiccan.”
“Your dad was really religious right?” asked Willow.
“Yes, we’d go to church in the morning, then mama and I would make a big Christmas dinner. Afterwards, Donny and Daddy would usually be watching football or something on the TV, Mama would tell them that she and I were hot and tired from making the meal and wanted to go out and get some fresh air. It usually worked; they didn’t want us interrupting their game anyway. I remember it only being hard one year when it was pouring rain. We supposedly went for a drive instead to ‘see the Christmas lights and found a nearby glade that was somewhat protected from the rain, and did the ritual there.”
Tara looked at Willow who was staring in amazement or shock, she began to feel self-conscious.
“No..No..Tara, I think that it sounds really cool. Just tell us where you want to go and I am sure that Aunt Joyce would happily take us. “
The older woman piped in, “Yes it sounds like a wonderful ritual. Just say the word when you want to go, and give me an idea of what kind of place we need to find, and we’ll do it.”
Tara was amazed that these women were willing to learn about her mom’s rituals. Willow took Tara’s hand and Tara saw Joyce nodding at Willow.
I wonder what that is about. “Do you know anywhere around here that there are trees and maybe a small brook or pond, some sort of natural water?” asked Tara.
“I think I know the perfect place. Is there anything special you need?”
“Um…a couple of candles.”
“Got them.”
“T..t..that is a..a..all I need. Maybe we could go after lunch. I have some stuff I want to talk to Willow about first, so I can make the clearing ritual doubly useful.”
Joyce looked at both Tara and Willow. “So do you want me to leave the two of you alone, I could go into my study or bedroom or something?”
“N..n..no ma’am. This is your house. You are welcome to listen, if you want that is, you don’t have to, but if you want to know what kind of girl your niece is getting involved with, you might want to listen.”
The woman looked at her and said, “I am sure that whatever you tell us, both Willow and I will continue to accept you for who you are, Tara.”
Sure you say that now, but what about once you hear what happened to me. Tara felt Willow’s hand try to take her own.
I can’t be touching her while I tell this story “I gotta center myself to talk, I can’t think straight when I am touching you. I need all my brains to get this out.”
Tara began to tell her story. It just flowed out of her. When she began to get to the hardest part, Joyce got up from where she was sitting and kneeled in front of Tara. “Sweetie, you don’t have to tell us anything more if you don’t want to, but we are here to listen and not judge. I haven’t heard anything that supports anything that makes me think YOU are trouble. Now I am not feeling too good about your father, but I have the utmost respect for you. Go on if you want, or stop.” Joyce patted Tara’s legs.
Tara looked at Willow. It seemed like Willow was open to hearing more, so she continued. She got through some of the worst parts and realized that she couldn’t go on. The tears were streaming down her face. It felt like she was re-experiencing her mother’s death again. “I can’t talk about this anymore, Ok.”
“More than OK.” Both Willow and Tara said together.
Joyce asked her if she could do anything, and handed Tara a box of tissues. Willow asked if she could do anything, and Tara asked for her to just sit next to her.
Tara worried that she would never stop crying. But eventually the tears stopped flowing. She looked over at her girlfriend, who was quietly looking at her. Tara had not felt that loved in a long time. She wondered what she had done right to deserve such a wonderful and caring friend.
Once she had gone to the bathroom and washed her face, they all went upstairs to get dressed before lunch. After a quick lunch of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, they collected the candles and headed off to a place that Joyce thought met the criteria that Tara had set out.
Joyce drove them to a park that had a small pond. Tara found a space that was perfect and set the gold and yellow candles. She set the circle and said.
O! Mighty goddess, in silvery ice,
watching over us as we sleep,
a layer of shining white,
covering the earth each night,
frost on the world and in the soul,
we thank you for visiting us.
Because of you, we seek warmth
in the comfort of our homes and hearths. (http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/yulepra ... oddess.htm)Tara then explained that she and her mother would then talk about the things for which they were grateful. She shared a prayer that her mother taught her.
I am grateful for that which I have.
I am not sorrowful for that which I do not.
I have more than others, less than some,
but regardless, I am blessed with
what is mine. http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/yulepra ... ssings.htm“I am really grateful for the universe taking care of me and bringing these two women into my life.” Tara said looking at Willow and Joyce. “I am grateful for Ms. Woods for not giving up and coming one last time to check on me. I am grateful for getting my GED. So mote it be.”
Tara felt Willow’s hand go into her own. “I am grateful for the two of you. I am grateful for Aunt Joyce for letting me come stay with her. I am grateful to the staff at my program for helping me get prepared to move onto college.”
Joyce then said, “I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to get to know both of you, and have been able to be reminded about the resiliency of people. I am thankful that I had a supportive parents and friends that have allowed me to become an adult who can support you.”
It was a beautiful day, so the three women sat looking at the pond and the other parts of nature until it started to become dark.
As they were driving back to Joyce’s house, Tara looked at the sunset and knew that her mother was staring down at her and helping the universe provide her with what she needed.
by JustSkipIt » Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:05 am 
