Worth Waiting For

[Morrigan]

Author: Morrigan

Disclaimer: BtVS and asociated characters are not mine. I am simply borrowing them for a bit.

Rating: R, Just in case I get bold later on.

Spoilers: Through the end of season six, possibly. The fic will diverge from canon after "Hush" but many plot elements from canon will be used.

Summary: Willow buries and denies her feelings until Tara is in crisis and she is in danger of losing her forever. Various other obstacles arise. Some angst.

Feedback: Please. This is my first foray into fiction of any kind and constructive criticism will be appreciated.


***********


Willow bounced a bit on her bed. "It was amazing, Buff! I couldn't do more than wiggle the snack machine, but then when Tara took my hand and we tried it together, it just whooshed over to the door! I've never felt anything like it..."


Buffy smiled distractedly at her best friend. "That's great, Will. Sounds like you have finally found someone to work the mojo with." The blonde was absently grateful that the redhead was so caught up in her experience of the night before. She hersef was still thrown by her encounter with Riley and was not yet ready to talk about it. At least wth Willow babbling on, she didn't notice Buffy's own distraction.


"She's really powerful, Buffy. And she was coming to find me..." The young witch continued to burble on, already making plans in her head for her continuing education in magic, while her best friend made vague noises of interest and agreement.



**********



Tara sat, alone as ever, in her dimly lit dorm room. Stupid, she thought, picking disconsolately at the fabric of her skirt. Even if she could ever like me that way, it's way too soon for a gift like Grandma's crystal. No wonder she didn't want to come over tonight. Probably thinks I am some big stalker woman now.


She sighed heavily as her gaze rested on the heirloom. I need to back off. Play it cool. Even if she would never date me, I still want to be her friend.


As she rose to start getting ready for bed, she was startled by a soft knock. Curious now, she opened her door to see...


"Willow?"


Willow quirked her lips in a sheepish grin. "A funny thing happened with my prior social engagement. Pretty much ended when a friend of mine went off to do something with another crowd she hangs out with. Irony is kind of ironic that way." Her tone turned nervously hopeful. "Anyway, I know it's late, but I-I thought maybe-- I mean, if you still wanted to . . . do something?"


Tara smiled as she stepped back, ushering her new friend in. Maybe she doesn't think I am Big Stalker Woman. I can do this. Friends. It's more than I have now. More than I deserve anyway. We'll be friends.



*********



Tara smiled as she heard Willow's voice on her answering machine. The last few weeks had been the best she had had since her mother died. Classes were going well, and she talked to Willow almost every day. Best of all, the redhead had been coming over more and more frequently to do spells.


She flung herself back on the bed as she thought about a spell session they had done just a few days before. It had lasted all night, and the connection between them had felt so intense, so deep. This friendship with Willow was becoming something that she depended on. The green-eyed witch was the best part of all her days now.


A tapping at her door interrupted her reverie. She opened it to reveal the very girl who had been occupying her thoughts.


"Howdy." Willow smiled.


Tara flashed her own half-smile and blurted, "I just got your message a minute ago. I was in class. But I was about to call you."


"I had so much fun the other night, those spells." The redhead slipped past Tara into the dorm room.


Tara smiled, wondering if Will had read her mind. "Yeah, that was nice."


A worried wrinkle appeared on Willow's forehead. "I hope you don't think that I just come over for the spells and everything. I mean, I really like just talking and hanging out with you and stuff." Her earnest tone conveyed her sincerity and she searched her blonde friend's face, hoping to be believed.


Tara melted inside. No-one but her mom had ever cared whether she felt used before. "I know that. But you wanna do a spell."


"Yeah."


Tara giggled.


"But only because it's really important. There's this.."


"No you don't have to explain, I don't mind really." Tara jumped in. "I've been, uh, thinking about that last spell we did... all day."


Willow looked pleased and slightly surprised. "You have?"


"Mmmhmmm."


With a relieved expression, Willow began to explain the spell she wanted to perform. Tara felt her stomach clench when she realized it was a demon locator.


Oh, Goddess. She'll see ME, I'll show up, and I have never told her the truth about me. I can't do this. She tried to dissuade the younger witch, but found that she just could not say no. By the time an hour had passed, the floor had been cleared and in the center was set a square of twine with the points held down by four different colored crystals. The two witches were seated on either side of the square.


"So the square is Sunnydale?"


Willow nodded. "Right it's like a map. We both take different parts of the potion and when we do the incantation we both blow it onto the square at the exact same time."


"But how does it work?"


"Well that's the cool part. When the potion mixes and Thespia is called it creates this mist over the parts where the demons are. I-It even makes different colors for different breeds."


It felt like there was ice water in Tara's veins as she considered how she could sabootage the spell. She couldn't, just could not let Willow see her for what she was, not yet. Time enough to face that music when she turned twenty. At least she could have this year.


"You ready?" Tara's heart constricted at the eager trust on her friend's face, but she reluctantly nodded, trying to seem like she was just as eager. Willow poured some green powder into Tara's hand from a grey stone bowl or mortar, then some white powder into her own hand from a green mortar.


Willow smiled. "Let's do it."


They closed their eyes and each let their magic reach for the other. When Tara felt Willow in harmony with her own breathing pattern and heartbeat, she began.


"Thespia, we walk in shadow, walk in blindness. You are the protector of the night."


Willow took up the chant. "Thespia, goddess, ruler of all darkness, we implore you, open a window to the world of the underbeing."


As Willow, eyes still closed, blew her powder over the magical "map", Tara hid her powder but blew loud enough to be heard. She felt sick, shame roiling in her gut.


Willow, oblivious to the turmoil a few feet from her, continued. "With your knowledge may we go in safety. With your grace may we speak of your benevolence."


Silence settled over the room.


"Or not." The redhead stared at the square, trying to figure out what went wrong.


Tara stared at her hands before forcing a confused expression on her face and meeting Willow's eyes. Her thoughts were whirling in regret and self- hatred.


It's better for her that she is straight. I can't even be a good friend to her. She deserves so much more...



**********



TBC

[AmberGoddess]

DIBS!

Good start! I'm interested to see where you go with this, from the summary it seems like it's not gonna be canon the whole way.

[Morrigan]

AmberGoddess: Thanks for reading. Yes, the story will veer from canon starting in this installment, and diverge sharply at "New Moon Rising." Much angst to come, but I do promise a happy ending.


**********


This was harder to explain than Willow had expected it to be.


"I thought you said there could be only one slayer at a time?" Tara looked confused. "But Buffy is the slayer and there is another girl who is also a slayer, only she is crazy and dangerous?"

The slender redhead took a deep breath and tried to summarize. "Buffy died, but not permanently, obviously, because she is alive and still slaying and all, but while she was dead a new slayer was called, Kendra, but she died too, only she stayed dead and then Faith was called and came here, and she was on our side for a while until she accidentally killed a guy and went all evil and skanky, well, skankiER, cause she was already on the slutty side of the fence and..." She wound down, seeing the wheels turning in Tara's head as she tried to process what she was being told.


"Buffy died?" The blonde looked mildly stunned when Willow nodded. "And Faith w-was in a coma, but is now awake and dangerous?" Another nod. "W-why don't you stay here until she's gone? I-I mean she doesn't know I exist and you w-would be safe here." Tara's forehead was furrowed in her worry for her friend's well-being.


Willow smiled slowly, warmth reaching her eyes through her apprehension. "That would be great, Tara. Thanks. The last thing I want is to run into the slutbomb without Buffy around, and she has to be out there looking." The young hacker managed, with some effort, to ignore the leap her heart took at the thought of spending more time with the blonde witch.


Our friendship has gotten so deep, so fast. It must be the magic that makes this different from any other friendship I have ever had. I just have to see her to feel better. Willow let out a sigh as she rose from the lounge couch. "I did promise I would help look before dark though. So I'll come over to your room about sunset?"


Tara looked up quickly. "You're going to look for her alone? A-are you s-sure you - do you want me to come with you? S-strength in n-numbers, kinda?"


And she even offers to put herself in danger to help. I mean, she doesnt even know Buffy, so she just wants to help ME. It's...nice.


As they headed out to start looking, Willow silently wondered at how much of a difference Tara had already made in her life.



**********



Back in Tara's room, the two witches were relaxing on the bed. Willow was lying down while Tara sat at the foot of the bed, nervously picking at her pajama pants.


"I wonder where she is."


Tara looked up. "Who? Faith?"


"Yeah. I wish she would make a move. she's making my stomach all acidy."


The blonde looked down again. "I know how you feel." Even if it's for different reasons. Goddess, I wish I could tell you how I feel. Just having you here on my bed in making the butterflies in my stomach do gymnastics. "But I'm s-sure Buffy will find her. I-I mean that's what she does right? Find and defeat evil? A-and Faith will be looking for her, too."


Willow turned her gaze to her friend. "You're right. I just hate when I can't help. Buffy will figure out something." After a few moments, she grinned. "I really want you to meet her. Buffy, not Faith, I mean. And Xander too...You'll love the gang. Maybe even become a Scooby!"


Tara flushed and suppressed the flash of panic she felt at that idea. "Y-yeah. It'll be good to meet them. B-but I don't think they'll w-want me in the gang."


"Why not?" Willow's eyes flashed with indignation at the very idea of Tara being excluded. "I mean you are an amazing witch, and you already know about the slaying and you are a really great friend. You'd be perfect." Her expression softened. "Oh, is this 'cause you're shy? Kinda worried about the whole goup thing?"


She seized on the excuse. "Y-yeah. I-I'm not so good at bunches of people." And I'm terrified that they'll see how I feel for you. And that Buffy will sense my demon side. Shy. That's it.


"Then I'll introduce you one at a time!" Willow beamed, pleased with her solution. "Then once you see that they love you individually, it'll get easier!"


"S-sure." Tara forced a smile and let the subject drop, hoping Willow would forget her plan.




**********


TBC

[AmberGoddess]

Oooh. Poor Tara. I like this! Keep going plz

[Morrigan]

**********


Willow slipped into Tara's dorm room after knocking softly on the door. Tara smiled and asked, "How was the Scooby meeting?"


"Wierd" There was a slight frown marring the elfin face of her friend, so Tara probed further.


"Wierd how?"


"Well, Buffy seemed, well, odd. I mean I know she feels a lot of guilt over the whole Faith situation, but through the meeting she was, like, either spaced out completely or really intense. Wierd. But!" Her face brightened. "Faith has been apprehended, so we're safe. No more worrying about skank-slayer."


Tara was flooded with a strange mix of dissapointment and relief. Having the hacker stay in her room had been a sweet form of torture; Loving every moment of time together, yet unable to show the full scope of her feelings for the lithe redhead. So she was simultaneously relieved that Willow was no longer in danger from Faith and dissapointed that she would be going back to her own dorm room to sleep as a result of that safety.


A hand on her knee interrupted her train of thought. "Thank you so much for having me here. Danger aside, I've really enjoyed it." Willow blushed a little and Tara could suddenly see traces of the shy young girl she had once been. "You've been great, this has been great."


Their gazes locked, and the moment stretched. Breathless, Tara managed a whisper after a moment. "You know, you don't have to be in mortal danger to spend the night here. W-we could have a weekly witchy sleepover, i-if you wanted."


"That's a great idea!" Willow practically vibrated in her happiness. "And to celebrate the birth of a new tradition, why don't we head to the Bronze?"


"The what?"



**********



Two hours later, Willow talked over her shoulder as she led Tara into her old haunt. "I can't believe you've never been here. The Bronze is the coolest place in Sunnydale. Of-of course, there's not a lot of competition. I think the vending machine at Bergen's came in second.


"Y-you used to come here a lot?"


"I lived here. Me, Xander..." Willow paused and stared. "Buffy."


Buffy was, to the vast surprise of her best friend, part of a group encouraging a beer-chugging contest.


"Wow. I-I didn't think she'd be here. Or doing that. Wierd" The hacker shrugged and tugged Tara's hand. "Come on, I want you to meet her."


Tara crossed her arms across her torso as they approached the diminutive blonde that Willow had pointed out.


"Hey, Buffy."


Buffy turned to face them. "Willow and - uh...."


"Buffy, this is Tara. My witch friend I've told you so much about? Hey, I thought you were gonna go patrol?"


Buffy sauntered over to a couch and flopped down. "Unh-huh. Got tired. You know, the whole Faith thing. I let off some steam."


"Good for you. You shouldn't work yourself too hard." There was mild doubt in the hacker's voice.


Buffy crossed her arms behind her head as she leaned back. "That's my philosophy."


Willow hesitantly looked back and forth between Tara and her best friend. "Anyone want a soda?"


Tara, who had been standing silent, her arms wrapped defensively around herself, quietly asked for a water, while the slayer simply shook her head. As Willow headed off to the bar, Buffy leaned forward and looked sharply at the blonde witch.


"So you guys been hanging out a lot lately, huh?"


Tara ducked her head in a nod. "Yeah. she's, um, she's really cool."


Buffy nodded slowly as a wofish grin began to spread across her face. "Oh, you got it bad, doncha?" The slayer watched as Tara huddled further into herself. "Tryin to move in on the wolf-man's territory, huh? Think you can replace him? Oh, never seen two people so much in love."


Tara started to speak from behind her hair. "No! I-I-I would nev...A-and she, um, said he, uh, uh, w-w-w-w-w-went"


A nasty smile from Buffy. "He w-w-w-w-what? You gonna get that sentence out sometime tonight?"


Tara lowered her head, stunned. Buffy's not at all like I expected from Willow's description. I mean, she said Buffy could be snarky, but she never said she was cruel or made fun of people. But she did see through me right away....maybe she just wants me to leave Willow alone.


Willow, returning with drinks for herself and Tara, noddded her head over her shoulder. "Buffy, guy in the corner."


Buffy glanced at the couple headed toward a shadowy corner of the club. "Yeah. Good call."


Tara loooked up, confused. "What?"


"Vampire." Willow pronounced.


"Wicked obvious." Buffy agreed, lounging on the couch. She looked quickly at the redhead, then gave a small start. "So, I should slay him." She got up, refusing Willow's automatic offer of assistance, and headed off.


Willow turned to Tara after watching Buffy walk away. "You okay? You're lookin' a little pale there, missy."


"I-I think I should go. Umm, I'm a little shaky." Tara watched for Buffy from behind the curtain of her hair. And I think your friend hates me. But I can't say that. Seeing the slayer headed back towards them, Tara noticed a flicker in her visible aura, and looked a little closer. Hmm. Something's not right there. But how do I bring it up?


As Buffy approached, Willow turned to face her. "Everything poofed?"


Buffy shrugged. "All's well in the world."


"Tara's not feeling well. I'm gonna walk her home." Willow gave her wiccan friend a concerned glance.


There was a slight smirk on the slayer's face. "Yeah. You give her whatever she needs."



**********



"I'm sorry you're feeling all blechy. But we'll get together with Buffy another time. Sometime soon. I think you'll really like her." Willow was speaking as she and Tara entered the dorm.


Tara sighed. "She's not your friend."


Taken aback, Willow spoke doubtfully. "I may have overestimated the "you liking her" factor."


"No, no. I mean, I don't... I don't think she's...her."


"You lost me."


Tara sighed, trying to think of how to explain to a person who didn't see auras. "Well, um, a person's energy has a flow, a unity. Buffy's was, was fragmented. It-it grated, like something forced in where it doesn't belong. Plus, she was, um, she was kind of mean."


"So you think Buffy's not herself? Like she's been possessed or something?"


"I'm not sure."


Anxiety crossed the hacker's face. "She did seem a little, well, off, tonight. Not her normal self at the scooby meeting either. You didn't sense a hyena energy at all, did you? Because hyena possession is just...unpleasant."


Tara hesitated for a moment. "Do you have anything of hers?"


"Of Buffy's? Uhhhh. Oh! This ring."


Reaching for a book, the blonde witch started paging through it in search of a spell she thought she remembered. "I-I think there's a way we can, hmm..The passage to the nether realm. There-there's a ritual. If you can find Buffy there, you should be able to see."


Willow was eager. "If it'll help her." She paused at a troubled sigh from Tara. "What?"


"Well, the nether realm exists beyond the physical world. Accessing it is... I-it-it's kind of like astral projection. It's very intense. I'd have to be your anchor, keep you on this plane."


"I trust you."


She tried again to explain the depth of what she was suggesting, both longing for and dreading the connection this spell would entail. "It-it's not like anything that we've ever-"


Willow smiled and looked into her eyes. "I trust you."


Tara stood still, caught in emerald depths. She trusts me. Oh, Willow. I'd give anything to someday be worthy of your trust.



**********


TBC

[Zampsa1975]

Interesting beginning... I wonder when Tara confesses her feelings for Willow...

[love_2003]

Like the story so far. Looking forward to the nether realm spell.

[Morrigan]

AmberGoddess: Thanks for sticking with me. The encouragement really helps.

Zampsa1975: It'll be a little longer. Hopefully worth the wait.

love_2003: The nether realm spell, you say? Ask and ye shall receive. Hope it doesn't disappoint!



**********



Willow was riding a tide of magic, borne on wings of something akin to ecstasy. From the beginning of the spell, a rising tension had built between the two young witches, sensual waves of heat and focus rippling through them both. As the chant reached its crescendo and Willow burst free of her body, it was a release the like of which she had never imagined. What she had seen in the nether realms was troubling, but not even that could taint the sheer pleasure of the magic she and Tara wove together.


At the thought of her casting partner, she felt a tug toward...well, direction was almost meaningless where she was, but she knew that Tara was calling her back to her body. A large part of her wanted to resist, to stay in this blissful state, but she knew she had to go back, had to help Buffy.


There was no physical sensation of motion, but as she allowed herself to be pulled back to her natural plane of being, there was the impression of moving at a very great speed. She idly thought that she should have been nervous, perhaps even afraid, but somehow the knowledge that Tara was there at the end of this strange journey erased any anxiety. There was just peace, and wonder, and a deeply held feeling of safety.


With a gentle gasp, she was back in her body, breathing heavily, her skin coated with a fine sheen of sweat. "Tara?" she whispered, eyes still closed.


"I'm here." Tara scooted up to lean over Willow's prone form, daring in the intimacy of the moment to brush an errant strand of hair off of Willow's cheek. The redhead's lips twitched into a small smile as her eyelids fluttered open. "Are you okay? Y-you were gone awhile."


"Mmmm. I was. I'm good. Better than good. That was....wow." The words were spoken softly, breathily. The cerulean depths of Tara's eyes, inches away from Willow's own half-lidded eyes, pulled her in, leaving her floating in a new realm of magic. The moment extended, both of them barely breathing, lost for a timeless span in the wonder they created together.


Then her eyes popped fully open and she sat up abruptly, nearly crashing into Tara in the process. "Oh, sorry! But I have to help Buffy! You were right, She isn't herself. I mean she IS herself but herself isn't inside herself, it's in Faith, and Faith is in Buffy and..."


Tara recovered her balance while listening to full-bore Willowbabble, her sadness at losing the intimate moment overshadowed by the import of the information. "A Katra."


The seeming non sequiter bumped Willow out of the babblestream. "A what? Huh?"


"We need to conjure a Katra, to switch them back. That's probably what switched them in the first place." Tara was already at her bookshelf, pulling down a few volumes and paging through them for the spell they needed.


Willow watched for a moment, impressed again at the breadth of Tara's knowledge. You really are amazing, Tara. Sometimes I feel closer to you than I have ever felt to anybody...



**********



"Giles!" The girls burst into the watcher's flat to find a nervous Giles and Faith (or at least her body) facing eachother with obvious tension.


Faith turned as they entered "Will!"


Willow came to a halt. "Oh, my god."


"Willow, wait. you don't understand."


The tiniest hint of a smile crossed the hacker's lips. "You're Buffy. You and Faith switched bodies, probably through a Draconian Katra spell."


Giles mumbled, "She understands it better than I do."


"How did you?" Having expected to have to prove herself to everyone, Buffy was floored.


Willow grinned, pride written all over her face. "Tara. Tara, this is Buffy, only really this time. Tara's a really powerful witch."


Tara waved at the introduction, trying to hide her anxiety. "Not really."


"No, really. She knew right away that you weren't you. So we connected with the nether realms to find out what happened. And we conjured this." Willow opened a wooden box to reveal a small green ball of light. "It's a Katra. Or the home-conjured version. It-it should switch you back, if you can get ahold of Faith."


Buffy slowly reached out to take the box, looking back and forth between the witches. "Oh, thank God. Thank you both. A lot." She noticed how Tara almost flinched away from her attention, and moved a little closer to Willow. Curiosity had just begun to poke at her when the phone rang and she was diverted.




**********




The sun was setting as Willow and Buffy made their way back to their dorm room. "There was no way for Riley to really know it wasn't you, Buff. I mean, I get why you are upset, but I can't imagine him ever being with her intentionally. He's so, well, wholesome, and she's so...not." Willow paused. "I think with time it'll be okay. Try to put the blame where it really belongs." The redhead bumped her friend lightly in the shoulder. "And at least you do have your own body back."


"Yeah, thanks Will. Without you..."


"It was Tara, really. She saw that you weren't you, well, you know what I mean. She knew the spell to find out what happened, and then she knew how to fix it. She was like, all amazing knowledge and power there." Willow was so involved in her description of Tara's greatness that it took a few steps for her to notice that Buffy had stopped walking. She turned to see her blonde friend staring at her. "What?"


"I haven't seen you rave about somebody like that since you met Oz, Will." The slayer's voice took on a teasing note. "Anything you've been meaning to tell me?"


"What?! NO!!" The hacker flushed deep red. "I mean, she's a GIRL, Buffy! We do spells together..."


As Willow launched into a truly impressive babble-fest, what had been a joke for Buffy began to seem more realistic. She hadn't seen her friend this defensive since the fluke with Xander. Could Willow really be crushing on Tara? Not that I'd have a problem with that, I just never expected...But if Will doesn't take a breath soon, she's gonna pass out. "Will! I was kidding!"


The redhead visibly deflated. "Not funny!"


"Geez, Sorry. Tell you what...I owe you a mocha."


Willow grumbled her agreement, but as they reached their room, Buffy continued to wonder. Maybe I should talk to Tara...



**********


TBC

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for good update-y goodness... Yes Willow and Tara need a long long about their feelings for eachother...

[Bellalocke]

Awesome story. I love your point of view on things that happened in the series that weren't shown. Can't wait for the next update.

[DaddyCatALSO]

Interesting. Given Buffy's reaction in "NMR," maybe a bit alternate?

[Morrigan]

Zampsa1975: Yes, our girls do need to talk. And they will...eventually. But some other stuff has to happen first.


Bellalocke: Thanks. I'm feeling my way into this writing gig.



**********



Tara was having fun listening to Willow's running account of the battle in the crypt. I could spend hours just listening to her talk about anything. She could read me the phone book and I would love it. But when she's excited like this...Goddess, I just want to kiss her.


"And Buffy was great! Twang! Poof!" Seeing Tara's confused look, Willow elaborated. "That was the sound - the crossbow, vampire dusting."


"H-how's she been? I mean personally." The blonde fiddled with a picture for the Jonathon montage they were making. "That whole thing with Faith, it pretty much freaked me out and I was just sensing it from a distance."


Willow sighed. "Yeah, I know she's not over the whole Riley sleeping with Faith thing. Oh.. you know I mean - Faith's insides and Buffy's outsides when her insides were out."


"I hope they'll be ok."


"I sure it'll blow over. They're probably all with the smoochies right now." The redhead smiled at her friend, and they silently gazed at one another, both a little lost in thought.



**********



Buffy basked in Riley's arms. The dance had put everything back into perspective for her. Willow and Jonathon had been right. She just needed to let the whole Faith debacle go, and concentrate on what she had now with Riley.


She took Riley's hand and began moving through the crowd back to the scooby table. Speaking of Willow...she's sitting awfully close to Tara. And Tara is watching Will more than she's watching Jonathon. Maybe... Her train of thought was interrupted as a wounded young woman stumbled through the crowd toward the stage.




**********



Later that night Tara, Willow and Buffy were walking towards the dorms.


"I'm glad you're ok." Willow said. "Everyone in the Bronze was pretty freaked out after you left."


Tara quirked her lips into a small smile. "So I guess you have go fight this thing, huh?"


As Buffy explained that Jonathon had insisted on taking this one himself, she watched the play of emotion on Tara's face. She's relieved that we aren't going after it. And she almost seems to be hiding behind Willow. Hmm. Maybe she thinks I would have a problem with her hanging out with Will. I really should talk to her.


Tara stopped walking. "Ummm, my exit. I'm g-gonna hit the computer lab for a while before I go back to my dorm. Willow, I-I'll see you tomorrow."


Seeming almost unaware of the gesture, Willow took Tara's hand briefly. "Okay. Be careful." She watched Tara walk away for a long moment.


Buffy started walking again, and the hacker moved to keep up. "So. Saw you and Riley, with the dancing."


Buffy smiled. "It was a great dance. For the first time it felt like Faith wasn't there. Like no one was there but us." She turned her head to look at her best friend. "You were right. Thanks, for listening and keeping me from running away screaming."


Willow brightened. "You know, chocolatey coffee goodness is always a suitable gesture of appreciation. The espresso pump should still be open."


The slayer shook her head, chuckling. "Maybe tomorrow. I need to do a quick patrol of the campus before bed."


The redhead pouted before opening the door to Stevenson Hall. "Okay. But I will remember that you promised me a mocha."


Buffy just chuckled and shook her head before heading off into the night.



**********



A couple of hours later, Buffy caught sight of a familiar form leaving the computer science building. I've been wanting to talk to her alone. No time like the present. "Hey, Tara! Wait up!"


The blonde witch jumped and turned, her arms wrapping around herself when she saw the slayer hurrying to meet her. "B-buffy. Hi."


"I was just out patrolling and saw you..thought I'd walk you back to your dorm."


"I-I'll be fine, r-really.."


Buffy cut her off, breezily declaring, "It's no problem. Besides, if anything happened to you, Willow would never forgive me." She didn't miss the flash of surprised pleasure on Tara's face at that little pronouncement.


Now that she had Tara alone however, the slayer had no idea how to start the conversation she wanted to have. How do you ask a friend of a friend if she's gay and in love with your mutual friend?


"Umm, Tara? I can't help but notice that you get really nervous around me. I mean, I know you're shy and all, but I think there's something more to it." Seeing Tara duck her head to hide behind her hair, Buffy pressed on. "It's okay, really. I mean, I'm the slayer, and I dated a vampire, Anya's an ex-vengeance demon, and we all know more than we want to about her and Xander, and Oz was a werewolf."


Tara stopped dead in her tracks. She knows, oh Goddess, she knows I'm a demon, and she's the slayer and-wait. She isn't hitting me. She's smiling at me? "Y-you know. About m-me? A-and you d-don't mind?"


Buffy shook her head ad took Tara's arm, starting them walking again. "Look, Willow's been a lot happier since she met you. I know she values your friendship, and is learning a lot from you." Her expression got more firm, and she stopped walking, turning Tara to face her. "The only thing I care about is that you don't hurt her. I'd have taken down Oz to protect her, and I'll take down anything else that threatens her."


The young witch huddled in on herself and launched in to a babble almost worthy of Willow herself. "I-I won't. Hurt her, I mean. I-it won't even manifest until next year, a-and if I'm dangerous I p-promise, I-I'll leave. M-my mom never hurt anyone s-so I don't think that'll..."


Buffy cut her off, confused. "What? Your mom? Next year? What happens next year?"


"I-it comes out when I turn t-twenty."


"What are you talking about? Lots of people come out in high school..."


"T-the d-demon in me." Tara forced the words out before she really thought about what Buffy had said. "Wait, w-what are you talking about?"


Buffy spoke slowly, still trying to catch up. "You being gay. What are you talking about?"


Tara was about to attempt to explain when a huge misshapen beast hurtled out of the woods and leapt upon her.



**********

TBC

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... Good that the Tara being a "demon" is out... I truly hope that Willow is not too freaked about it and they have research dates that lead to ...

[AmberGoddess]

Wow. That's a fuck-up in communication right there. I love your writing, can't wait for more!

[leonhart17]

I just read all these updates and I love the alternative view of the events on the show You're doing a great job and I can't wait to see where you take the story from here.

[love_2003]

You can't stop it there. It was just getting good.
Well at least now Tara has someone she can talk to about her 'demon' side.

[perchiper]

The young witch huddled in on herself and launched in to a babble almost worthy of Willow herself. "I-I won't. Hurt her, I mean. I-it won't even manifest until next year, a-and if I'm dangerous I p-promise, I-I'll leave. M-my mom never hurt anyone s-so I don't think that'll..."

Buffy cut her off, confused. "What? Your mom? Next year? What happens next year?"

"I-it comes out when I turn t-twenty."

"What are you talking about? Lots of people come out in high school..."

"T-the d-demon in me." Tara forced the words out before she really thought about what Buffy had said. "Wait, w-what are you talking about?"

Buffy spoke slowly, still trying to catch up. "You being gay. What are you talking about?"

Oooo yeah! Never would have thought of this approach. Very nice...

Next! Next! Next!

[Morrigan]

DaddyCatALSO:

Interesting. Given Buffy's reaction in "NMR," maybe a bit alternate?

Yep, quite alternate. I never liked the completely self-absorbed Buffy, and I thought it would be interesting to see how Willow would take her relationship progression with Tara if she knew right away that she would have the support of the scoobies.


Zampsa1975: I do promises smoochies. Possibly even hot steamy smoochies. I'm just not gonna say WHEN you get to see the smoochies.


AmberGoddess:

Wow. That's a fuck-up in communication right there. I love your writing, can't wait for more!

Thanks. And yes, thats is quite the cross-wired conversation. Glad it surprised.


leonhart17: Thank you muchly. As for where the story is going, it seems to have re-plotted itself substantially since i began to write it. It's still going in the same general direction though.


love_2003: I am sorry about the short updates. I just found that if I try to write longer peices I end up overthinking them. So I'll probably stick to the shorter vignettes for this story, and try longer ones when and if i get the courage to write another. And soon, Tara will be talking far more than she wants to about her demon heritage.


perchiper:

Oooo yeah! Never would have thought of this approach. Very nice...

Thanks. I must admit the idea came from a very embarrasing revelatory conversation in my real life. Luckily, I wasn't hiding a demon, though...



Thank you all for reading and feedbacking. Any advice on how to make the flow and/or dialog better would be appreciated.



**********



She was suffused with heat, surrounded and consumed with blazing fire that scorched her nerves into bliss. She felt her connection to Tara, the two of them bound inextricably together in in the rising wave of magic, both of them forming and being formed by it. The intensity of flames, of the power, should have frightened her, should have terrified her, but Tara's presence gentled what should have been desperation into exhileration. Together they rode the inferno, together they flew on blue-fired wings of delight, their laughter ringing out in perfect echoes of joy...


Willow sat bolt upright in her bed, gasping and covered in sweat. What the frilly heck was THAT? Her introspection was interrupted by the shrill of the phone. She fumbled at the bedside table, finally finding the reciever and picking up. "Hello?"


"Will, thank God, I thought you'd never pick up."


"Buffy?" She glanced over at the clock. Two a.m. Must be trouble. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"


"I'm fine. It's Tara. She was attacked...I think she'll be okay but she's asking for you."


Willow felt her heart stop for a moment, then begin to race. "What happened? How bad is she hurt? Should we take her to the.."


"WILL! She'll be okay. Just grab the first aid kit and head downstairs. Riley's on his way over to walk you over here. And DON'T leave till he gets there. The thing that went after Tara got away."


Willow agreed and hung up quickly, threw on some street clothes and grabbed the first aid kit. Luckily, Riley was waiting for her at the base of the stairs, and they wasted no time making their way to Tara's room. Buffy had left the door ajar, and Willow dashed through it, only checking her headlong rush when she saw Tara curled up in a fetal position on her bed.


A small sound very much like a whimper escaped the redhead as she eased to the side of the bed. She knelt, and gently took one of Tara's icy hands between her warm ones. "Tara?" She whispered her friend's name, afraid if she tried for anything louder her voice would break, and she knew she needed to be the strong one right now.


The blonde witch opened her eyes a bit when she felt her hand being held, and stirred more when she heard her name whispered. "Willow?"


"I'm here."


Silent sobs began to rack Tara's body, and Willow moved forward to gather her into her arms. The blonde huddled there, her face buried in Willow's shoulder as she trembled. Willow focused all her attention on Tara for a few more moments, then looked around for Buffy. She didn't speak, but her face spoke of her fear and fury.


Buffy spoke softly. "She's gonna be ok, but she's terrified."


"What happened? What did this?" The words were forced between Willow's teeth.


"I was coming back from patrol, and I saw her leave the computer building. I caught up with her, to walk her home, and we were talking. This *thing* came out of nowhere, just jumped her." Buffy ducked her head. "I'm so sorry, Will. It was strong, way stronger than a vamp. It was all I could do to get it off her. I held it off for a bit, and then it just took off."


The redhead's eyes narrowed. "What aren't you telling me? You have secret face."


Buffy sighed. "I think it was the same monster that attacked that woman from the Bronze. It had that mark on its forehead."


Willow closed her eyes in an obvious effort to control herself. "Buffy, Jonathan said we were all safe. *Jonathan said it.*"


"I know, Will."


"We need to call a scooby meeting."


"We will. For now though, " Buffy moved to pick up the first aid kit that Willow had dropped when she arrived. "We need to get those cuts on Tara cleaned up, and we all need some rest.




**********



Riley had discreetly left the room while the two old friends got Tara cleaned up and changed into bedclothes. None of the laceerations were very deep, thankfully. Painful though they were, they would probably heal without leaving scars, and the bruises that were beginning to rise on Tara's pale skin would also fade in a few days. Buffy wasn't so sure about the barely concealed panic she saw in the hacker's eyes.


As upset as she was, Willow did not miss the deeply searching looks her best friend gave Tara while they were dressing her wounds. As she tucked Tara back into bed, she nodded to Buffy to get Riley from the hall. "I'll be right back, hon." Seeing Tara start and begin to shake she hastened to add, "Ssshh. I am NOT leaving you alone. Riley will be here with you till I get back, I promise, and I'll only be a minute. Okay?" Seeing Tara's hesitant nod, she brushed her fingers over the honey hair, and rose. Heading for the door, Willow paused to look at Riley. "Can you sit with her for a few? I need to talk with Buffy."


Riley nodded quickly. "Anything I can do, you got it."


She flashed him a small smile and clasped his forearm before leading Buffy out into the hall.


"Okay. What ELSE aren't you telling me."


Buffy looked slightly nervous. "What do you mean?"


The redhead pointed at her face. "Do NOT mess with the resolve face. The whole time we were taking care of Tara, you were looking her over like you were searching for horns. Now, what?"


The slayer shuffled her feet, not daring to meet her friend's eyes. "Well. I kinda was. Searching for horns, I mean."


"What? Horns? Why?"


Buffy knew that one-word Willow sentences were a danger sign so she walked them both a little farther down the hall and started talking very fast. "Before she was attacked, we were talking, okay? I had noticed her kind of hiding from me since I met her and I thought maybe it was because she's gay, and I was trying to tell her that was okay. Only she misunderstood me and said something about being a demon that would manifest on her birthday, and then she was jumped so I don't know any more. I don't know what to think, so I guess I was looking for some outward sign of impending demonhood like horns or scales or something." She flushed. "I didn't want to tell you like this. I wanted her to be able to tell you herself, when she could explain fully."


Willow was motionless except for the random flopping of her jaw.


"Will? Willow? Did I break you? Come on Will, say something."


"Tara'a gay? Lesbian, girl-lovin' type gay?" The hacker's eyes were blank, as if she was looking at something only she could see.


"Maybe. I never got an answer on that one. And also posssibly a demon."


"Well, at least I've SEEN her. Unlike Malcom." Willow muttered under her breath.


Slayer hearing heard it all though, and Buffy allowed herself the tiniest hint of a smile. So I WAS right. Our little willow does have a crush. Even if she won't admit it to herself yet.


"We don't know anything for sure yet, Will. Right now, she's hurt, and she seems to feel safest with you. We'll figure things out tomorrow."


Reminded of the evening's events, WIllow turned and practically ran back to Tara's room. She paused at the door and looked at her closest friend. "Thanks for saving her Buffy. And for taking care of her till I could get here."




**********



TBC

[leonhart17]

Aww, I love that Buffy knows what's going on and she's going to help Willow find her way!

Have to say that I'm liking this Buffy much more than the self absorbed version on the show...

Can't wait to see what happens next!

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... Good that Willow now knows that Tara is possibly gay and perhaps a demon... Big yay for likeable and understanding Buffy...

[AmberGoddess]

Yay for Buffy not hurting Tara over the whole demon thing. I love Willow, ignoring the demon in favor of possible gay-type love. Can't wait for the next update!

[Morrigan]

leonhart17:

Aww, I love that Buffy knows what's going on and she's going to help Willow find her way!

Me too. I wanted to write a Buffy that could be just as accepting of a lesbian as a werewolf...especialy since lesbians are significantly less likely to literally rip out your throat.


Zampsa1975:

Good that Willow now knows that Tara is possibly gay and perhaps a demon

Yep. She couldn't remain oblivious to everything much longer and be at all believable.


AmberGoddess:

I love Willow, ignoring the demon in favor of possible gay-type love.

With the hotness that is Tara, could anyone blame her for that?




**********



Willow closed the door behind Riley. She turned and gazed silently at the still form of Tara on the bed, her mind whirling. She looks so small, all curled up there, like a frightened child, almost.


The redhead slowly changed into shorts and a t-shirt of Tara's that she had slept in before, when spells had run too late to go home. She slipped carefully into the bed, easing herself down, and when the blonde moved toward her, took her friend into a comforting embrace.


I don't even know what to start thinking about. Tara's gay? Or at least Buffy thinks Tara's gay. Now that I think about it...I don't know. All those times I talked about Oz, or my old crush on Xander, she never said anything about her love-life. I guess I just didn't really think about it. She felt a frown crease her mouth. What kind of friend am I, never noticing how little she talks about anything other than magic, and sometimes her mom. I just talked on and on about me, my life, the scoobies, the hellmouth, and never really asked her about her life.


So maybe she's gay. I know that doesn't bother me. In fact it kinda bothers me how very much it doesn't bother me. I have slept here in this bed with her quite a few times now, and I could be upset that I didn't know that about her, but, I'm just really...not.


Right now I just feel a little confused, worried about her, and really angry about what happened to her.


What does that mean? I think about her being hurt and I want to destroy something, or someone. I'm even mad at Jonathon, for letting that beast run loose and hurt her. I'm angrier about this than I've ever been about Buffy or Xander getting hurt.


Maybe because Buff and Xan generally get hurt in a fight that they knew was coming, knew the risks of? No, cause Xan had no way to know the Inca mummy was his date, and while I was upset, I wasn't...enraged. And I had a crush on him at the time.


Tara began to whimper a little in her sleep. Willow reached up and began to stroke her hair, soothing the blonde through touch until she stilled again and her breathing evened out.


Buffy made that joke last week about me...what was it she said? Right, she said I was raving about Tara. And that I hadn't done that since I met Oz. What if she's right?


Could I, do I have more-than-friend feelings for Tara?


I know I enjoy her company. And the magic we do together is always just, wow. Even when the spells don't work out right. I like talking with her, making her laugh, watching her laugh. I always feel better when I see her. And I've dreamed about casting spells with her. Maybe I...


But I loved Oz. I have no doubt of that. Loved. Past tense. Huh...I guess I really am over him.


Is it possible to really love a guy and then have feelings for a girl?


All of this is academic until I find out if Tara's really gay. And that's a conversation that needs to wait until after this beast-thingy is taken care of.


So table that, and that leaves...oh.


Tara told Buffy she's a demon. A demon. Tara? Ridiculous, unless there's some such thing as a kindness demon, or a goofy nurturing demon. But why would she say something like that, to the slayer no less, if it weren't true? And what kind of demon anyway?


Willow was suddenly struck by the memory of the failed demon locator spell. How nervous Tara had been about it, and how she had been a little withdrawn for a few days afterward. Oh no. She couldn't have somehow sabotaged the spell, could she? Would she?


Willow drifted off to sleep, her arms still securely wrapped around Tara, her mind adrift in a sea of confusion.



**********



A soft knock awoke Willow a few hours later. Blearily she began to automatically roll out of bed to get the door. She didn't get far though, due to the blonde head on her shoulder, the arm across her waist, and the leg thrown over hers. Apparently we moved a little bit in our sleep, she thought, amused. Or, okay a lot. She carefully disentangled herself from her friend and got to the door just as a second series of knocks was beginning.


Buffy quietly entered the room when Willow opened the door, looking over at the still-sleeping Tara. "How is she?"


"I don't know. She fell asleep right after I came back in last night, so we haven't talked. She did start to have a nightmare, I think, but it stopped once she knew I was there."


"And how are you holding up?" The slayer smiled up at her friend, noting the lines of worry on her face.


"I'm okay. Really busy up here," she gestured to her head, "but okay."


"Good. I called a scooby meeting for an hour from now.."


Willow interrupted her friend. "Buff, I don't know if I should leave her alone. I mean, you saw how she was last night, and I don;t want her to wake up alone, or wake up just for me to leave..."


Buffy stopped the babble with a hand on the freckled arm. "I know. I thought of that and so I told everybody to meet us here. Well, except I didn't call Jonathon." She stopped, and searched her friend's eyes for understanding before dropping her own. " I-I'm not sure I trust him after last night."


"You aren't alone there. Another thing I don't know what to think about."


"We'll figure it out, Will. Anyway, Xander's bringing donuts and coffee, so we just need to get you two up and ready for company."



**********



A little over an hour later the small dorm seemed even smaller, with seven people crowded into it. Tara was back in bed, after having a shower and having her wounds redressed by Buffy. Willow was perched next to her, with Buffy sitting on the end of the bed. Riley stood next to his girlfriend. Xander, with Anya in his lap, occupied the one comfy chair in the room, while Giles leaned on the small student desk.


"You say this beast had the same mark that made Jonathon react strangely?" Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Buffy, not to denigrate your instincts, but isn't that remarkably scanty evidence upon which to base your sudden suspicion of him?"


Xander was agitated. "He blinked? The man moistened his eyeballs and we're having a meeting about it?"


Buffy searched for the right thing to say. "Well, uh. He knows something about the monster. He was reacting to the mark. Oh!!!" She jumped up. "Wait, I remember something. Tara, do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?"


"Umm, n-no."


Buffy frowned.


"Xander has the Dayrunner version in his backpack." Anya looked pleased to have contributed something. "We often get distracted from the actual plans in the dayrunner and have to go have or-" She was cut off by Xander's hand planted firmly over her mouth.


He looked embarrassed but defiant. "What? It was a gift."


The ex-demon pulled out the planner and handed it to Buffy, who began flipping pages. The rest of the scoobies, except Tara, moved to surround her.


"No. No. Whoah! No. There." Feeling vindicated, she showed the picture all around.


Willow breathed a heavy "Oh."


Anya, true to form, came back with, "Yeah. Pretty darn lickable."


The redhead barely managed ot keep her irritation out of her voice. "The other kind of oh. That's it, that's what Tara saw."


Riley moved a little away from the rest and started to pace. "Why would Jonathan have the same mark as the monster?"


The slayer shrugged. "I don't know but he's definately..."


A voice from the doorway cut in. "Is this a private conversation, or can Mr. July sit in?" Jonathon stood in the doorway, dressed to the nines.


"Jonathan!" Buffy and Willow burst out at the same time.


Once again, Anya cut to the chase. "Hi. Buffy was just saying how you had a monster cut up Willow's friend and.."


The room got quiet as Willow moved to flank Buffy, and Riley loomed behind her.


The slayer squared her shoulders. "It's just...the mark, Jonathon. You said it was safe, and it wasn't. And we can't let innocent people get hurt because you need to hide something." At that, something very much like a low growl came from Willow.


Shooting a startled glance at the redhead, Jonathon, shrugged slightly, then sighed. "Then I'll explain."


With expressions varying from eager to dubious, the group settle into their original positions to hear him out.


"Buffy is right. I do have a history with the creature. The monster. The problem is every time I face it my mind becomes sort of confused. There's some kind of power it possesses."


"Oh!!! oh! He's like your kryptonite." Xander looked entirely too pleased with this explanation, and his description of it.


"Maybe. I just knows it takes all my energy to try and fight the confusion. That's why I had his mark tattooed on me so that I wouldn't underestimate it next time."


Buffy and Willow looked suspicious.


Riley shrugged. "This does explain everything."


"I knew you wouldn't do anything on purpose," Xander gushed.


Buffy rose and faced the small man. "Jonathan let's go after the monster. Right now, you and me."


"I'm sure it's left town by now. That's been its pattern."


She stared him down. "We can try."


"Sure. Lets do that." He didn't look very confident as he allowed Buffy to lead him out the door.



**********

TBC

[leonhart17]

Aww good update! I've never been a big Jonathan fan so I'm curious to see what suspicious Buffy and Willow will do to him!

and also - I love this -

Ridiculous, unless there's some such thing as a kindness demon, or a goofy nurturing demon.

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for good update-y goodness... I hope Willow sorts out her busy head soon and admits to herself that she indeed have more-than-friendly feelings for Tara...

[AmberGoddess]

This is fun. I like this. More please!

[sadie]

Just popping in to say I'm really liking this story and all the little ways it goes off canon. I like seeing a different take that's not too far from the actual storylines to make it less credible but far enough to make the story new. Very interesting to see what will happen next with W/T... They're gonna need to talk about some stuff! Oh and I've always loved Buffy/Tara interaction, there was too little of that on the show

[Morrigan]

leonhart17: Thanks. I was happy with that line, myself.


Zampsa1975:

I hope Willow sorts out her busy head soon and admits to herself that she indeed have more-than-friendly feelings for Tara...

She's getting there!


AmberGoddess: Your wish is my command! Well, not really, but it sounded good, right?


sadie:

I've always loved Buffy/Tara interaction, there was too little of that on the show

That was one of my beefs with the show as well. Tara was kept so peripheral for so long, and that bothered me. I know my closest friends are also close with my wife, and vice versa, and I hated to see such a sweet character as Tara being left on the fringes. So, my story, I get to fix that!



**********


Willow closed the door behind Giles with a sigh. She turned to see Tara watching her from her spot under the covers.


"Do y-you think they'll g-get it? T-the m-monster, I mean?"


Willow shrugged and moved to sit on the side of the bed. "I think so. I mean, if the Master and the mayor couldn't win here, I don't think big lumpy has much of a chance." She looked closely at Tara. "How you feeling?"


"I-I'm okay. Sore and a l-little freaked s-still but, okay. T-thanks for being h-here w-with me..."


The redhead shifted further onto the bed. "Ah, it's no big. It's what scoobies do. Monster madness aftercare included." Her chirpy tone sombered a bit as she continued. "Tara...I know last night was really rough on you, but you haven't stuttered like this alone with me for a long time now." She watched the blonde duck her head and hide behind her hair. Taking a deep breath, she plunged on. "I think there are some things we need to talk about, and I think you might be nervous about that?"


Tara nodded mutely. Her eyes remained lowered until a pale hand entered the curtain of hair and raised her chin. "Hey. It's me."


"I know." The words were whispered, barely audible. Deep blue eyes dropped again. "But a-after you hear everything, y-you'll n-never want to s-see me again."


Willow sighed. "You know, over the years there have been a few secrets that the scoobies have kept from one another. One thing I've learned is that the reaction to the secret itself is never as bad as the reaction to the secret having been kept. I'm not gonna be all hypocrite-girl and try to say I know how I'm gonna feel when you say whatever it is that you need to. But remember that Buffy hid Angel when he came back, and and he had done worse things than I can ever imagine you doing, and we all still love Buffy, and even dealt okay with Angel after a while."


She reached out and took Tara's hand in her own. "I might be angry. I'll probably be confused and need some time to think things over. But I already know what you told Buffy last night, and I'm here, aren't I?"


Tears flowed silently down Tara's cheeks. She nodded and after a minute, managed to calm herself a little. "There's a l-lot you don't know about me. That only my blood family knows. And some they don't know either." She managed to look at Willow. "I've never talked about most of this. I-I'm just gonna s-start and try to make it make sense to you."


She dropped her head again. "I'm a demon."


"What kind?" The words burst out of Willow, tinged with confusion.


"I-I don't know. No-one ever said." The blonde heaved a deep sigh. "The town I g-grew up in was founded in the g-gold rush. O-one night the boarding house and saloon were attacked and e-everybody there was killed. T-torn apart. Except for m-my ancestor, and h-her mother. W-when the local priest started to do an exorcism o-on the boarding house, they both went into c-convulsions. The mother died, and the priest took the daughter to raise."


"S-she was married at sixteen to a local farmer. She had two children, and then when she turned twenty.." Tara's voice cracked and Willow could see she was struggling to get the next words out. "S-she t-t-tried to k-kill her h-husband and b-babies. H-he survived, a-and killed her instead. B-but he f-figured out how to c-control the d-demon. A-and since then, w-when a w-woman of our line is m-married, h-her husband is told h-how to k-keep the d-demon in check."


Willow's face was pale. She whispered, "How?"


Tara shook her head, her hair falling once again into a curtain in front of her face. "My g-grandma was the first of our l-line to practice the m-magics. H-her mother-in-law was a h-hereditary witch, and taught her. S-she taught Mama, and Mama taught me. She...I never saw Mama's demon. S-she thought the connection w-with the earth let her m-make it dormant. She showed me w-what she did and when she got sick..." Her breath caught, but she kept speaking. "She made me promise to l-leave, to go to s-school, and t-to not let my family find me."


"Why? Tara, what did they do to you?"


The blonde head shook again. "T-that's not important. But I-I'll go b-back before I let myself hurt you." Her shaking was visible now. "I never meant to l-let you get this close. I-I was just so lonely, a-and then I m-met y-you and I-I couldn't m-make myself stay away. I-I shouldn't let anyone close till next y-year. My t-twentieth birthday. T-then I-I'll know i-if I am d-dangerous."


The shaking escalated into full-blown sobs. "I'm so s-sorry. I-I lied to y-you and d-did the spell wrong t-to hide a-and I never m-meant to hurt anyone. I'm s-so s-sorry!"


Watching Tara fold into herself, feeling the pain radiating from her, Willow felt tears on her own face. She moved closer to her friend, tentatively at first, then decisively reaching out and pulling the older girl into her arms. I wonder what 'controlling the demon' consisted of. Whatever it was, she's scared to death of it and...ashamed? While she rocked Tara, her busy mind began to pick apart the details she had heard.



**********



Tara had wept herself to sleep. Willow slowly and carefully settled her back under the covers, making sure not to wake her, and moved to the comfy chair to think. An hour or so had passed when she was startled by a shimmering plane of light passing through the room. In its wake, her memory of Jonathon changed to that of a neurotic, insecure boy who had tried to commit suicide back in high school. She watched as the montage she and Tara had made changed from pictures of a debonair Jonathon into a chart of herbs and their medicinal and magical uses.


Somehow he made us all think he was some kind of superman. The thought rang and mixed with her interrupted contemplation. Tara's whole town believes this legend, or at least some families do. But what if it isn't true? What if something made them think that, and then it just became a tradition of brainwashing that everybody believed because their parents believed it?


How can you prove one way or another if someone is a demon? Well, you can test for a vampire with crosses, thresholds, etc...some demons are paralyzed by certain herbs, some can't cross running water, some only show during the full or dark moons. But how do you tell if you don't know what kind of demon you're looking for? One that looks human?


Her eyes widened in fevered speculation and she picked up the phone. No, Buffy can't be back at our room yet. I wonder though... She frowned for a moment and dug her mini-address book out of her bag. Her expression settled into her 'resolve face' as she dialed a number.


"Hey Riley, it's Willow. Yeah, I think they must have done something, cause my memory sure changed a few minutes ago. I'm sure Buffy is fine. Listen, while I was waiting to hear from her, I started thinking about something and I have a question. The Initiative labs do medical testing and categorization on the demons captured right?"


Riley sounded a bit thrown as he answered. "Yeah. It's part of the Initiative charter to build a database of demon species, including DNA mapping and such. The idea is to make it easier to type HST's fought in the future. Analyze a blood or slime sample and get a full briefing from the computer, including weaknesses and finalization techniques." He chuckled. "Sorry, got caught up in the 'mission statement' lecture there. Why do you ask?"


"Just bear with me here...so if, say, there was a werewolf, then you guys could take a blood sample while its in human form and be able to tell from that?" WIllow's voice had that breathy quality that always meant her thoughts were in full overdrive.


"Yeah." Riley was beginning to sounds dubious.


"What if the blood sample was from a pure human? Would that show up?"


"Uh-huh. The lab has full access to the data from the human genome project, and can use that to verify degrees of human blood in human/HST crossbreeds. What's this about, Willow?"


"Umm, nothing really. Just kinda having the edges of an idea that might help Buffy."


As she'd hoped, the mention of the slayer shut off all of Riley's alarm bells. "Oh, well let me know when you work it out. You know I'm all over any idea that keeps her safe."


"I know, Riley. Thanks for the info."


Willow hung up the phone, a plan forming in her mind.



**********



Tara woke when the phone rang. She nodded when Willow looked at her, her hand on the receiver.


"Hello? Buffy! What happened?"


After a pause during which the blonde could faintly hear Buffy's voice, Willow shook her head. "What did you do to him?" The redhead moved close enough that Tara could hear the answer.


"Ah, nothing. He was so pathetic after almost falling down that hole that I didn't have the heart to hurt him more. But! I did tell him if he ever pulled a stunt like this again, I'd let you loose on him. I thought he was gonna need a change of pants at that one."


"Me?" Willow sounded incredulous. "I'm not that scary, am I?"


Buffy's laugh sounded tinny over the phone. "You shoulda seen your face after Tara got hurt, Will. It made your resolve face look meek and mild."


"Oh."


"Anyway, I don't think we're gonna have to worry about him anymore. How's Tara?"


The redhead looked over at the witch in question and they exhanged sad smiles. "I think she's okay. We talked some, and we still have a lot more talking to do, but I think she's gonna be okay."


"Good. Anything I need to know about, or that I can do?"


"Not at the moment. I may need to talk some things over with you tomorrow though, if I can."


The smile in Buffy's voice was audible as she replied, "Anything you need, Will. Let me know."


"Thanks Buff. I'll see you tomorrow."


Tara held her breath as Willow hung up the phone and turned back to her. Her eyes searched for condemnation in the redhead's eyes, but found only gentleness, compassion, and a little sadness.


"I'm still here." The newborn silence was broken by Willow's voice, tender and low. "There's more stuff we need to talk about, but for now, I think some food is in order, don't you?"


A loud growl from under the covers in the vicinity of Tara's stomach was all the answer required, and they both burst out laughing.



**********


TBC

[AmberGoddess]

Awwwww so sweet. i like willow's idea with the initiative. can't wait for more!

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I hope Tara's bloodsample clearly shows to her that she indeed is 100% human and not a demon... I kinda hope that after that they need good all-night-snuggles...

[leonhart17]

yay! I'm glad they talked! Hopefully they can make Riley useful!

Love this update!