Sorry this update took me so long, but I was sick. And due to the fact that I went back to work to early I’d lost my voice for two days and wasn’t even able to read a book (maybe I shouldn’t have tried to read Damasio) but now I’m better and here’s the next part. First I thought about splitting it up, but I know you want to know what happened to Tasha. So here is everything I have so far.
„Clare!“ Nana grabbed the redhead’s arm before the princess could storm out of her room in search for Tasha.
„Let me go.“ The redhead hissed, her face contorted in panic and fear. She loved Nana. More than her own mother but she wouldn’t allow her to come between Tasha and her.
Tasha should be here, by her side but she wasn’t. The burning sensation in her stomach grew, consuming her with fear. Every cell in her body screamed at her that something terrible must have happened to prevent Tasha from being here. She had to find her and not even Nana would stop her.
Anger mingled with fear as her eyes narrowed and stared at the nurse. The love she had felt for the woman only seconds ago was forgotten. Right now she was only an obstacle, preventing her to find Tasha.
„I have to find her.“ She spat and wrung her arm violently out of Nana’s grasp. Clare didn’t even hear the small cry of pain as she yanked herself free, bending old arthritic bones too fast into an unnatural direction.
Before the old woman could react, Clare was out of the door and down the floor. She heard Nana call after her but she didn’t stop. Talking wouldn’t help Tasha. It would only cost her precious time. She didn’t waste a single thought on how to find Tasha, she just let her body choose the rout, hoping that two hearts in love would always find each other.
“She will find her, won’t she?” Willow asked softly as she snuggled closer against Tara. She squeezed her eyes tight, fighting against the throbbing pain in her head. She hated being ill and right now the tale didn’t help either.
Tara had registered Willow’s movement and pushed a strain of red hair carefully out of her lover’s face to get a better look. “Honey, are you alright?” She asked worried.
Willow laughed out dryly just to wince again at the sudden movement. “Alright?” She asked back. “Of course I’m not alright. My head feels like its bigger than this bed and you should think that in a bigger head, there is more room to think but nope all the tiny little thoughts get lost in the fog in there.” She tapped against her forehead. “And the tale isn’t helping either.” Accusingly she looked up at her girlfriend. “Tasha vanished and Clare’s running heedlessly through the castle. And I can’t think straight to figure it out. This isn’t fair.” She pouted.
“Poor baby.” Tara looked down guilty. She hated to cause her lover pain. “I can still change the story.” She offered but Willow stayed stubborn.
“No I chose it and I’ll stick to it, till the end. Just wait till I can think again.”
As fast as she could without stumbling over her own feet or the hem of her heavy skirt Clare run down the stairs, taking two steps at once.
Only half way down she realized that she had chosen the way to the kitchen to start her search for Tasha. And it wasn’t the worst choice she tried to reassure herself. Tasha had to be in the kitchen, where else should she go without telling her? Maybe she needed sugar and one of the kitchen staff had kept her there, asking for help with some little complaint. Suddenly she felt a wave of hate for the unknown maiden who had caused her so much pain washing through her. And she greeted and embrace that feeling. It was better than pain and fear. Hate was a very active feeling, you could act on anger and hate, but you had to endure fear. Fears left you back immobile. You had to bear it as it washed over you unable to fight it. But she could work with anger. Very well indeed.
With new found strength she run on, only the sound of her feet and her heavy breathing echoed through the floor. She didn’t pay attention to the surprised gazes that were turned to her as she run past. Just one more staircase and she would have reached the kitchen floor. Just a few feet more and she would see Tasha, she tried to reassure herself. She could already smell the different foods that were prepared for lunch. The spicy smell of fried food mingled with the scent of sweet bread and cake.
Her empty stomach revolted as the mixed smell hit her nostrils. She had to gulp twice to keep the urge to choke down.
Suddenly out of nowhere a black cat appeared in front of her. Clare nearly collided with it as she came to a sudden halt, to prevent them both from stumbling down the hard stone stairs. She wouldn’t be of any help to Tasha with a cracked skull.
“Damn.” The princess cursed under her breath. Now that she had stopped her legs turned jelly and the pain in her side throbbed through her body. She had to lean over to at least decrease the stabbing pain in her side. Her view was dazed with little dark stars that buzzed before her eyes.
It took her two deep breaths before she was able to straighten herself up again, with her arms around herself to decrease the pain in her sides. Clare looked down at the cat that now circled her right leg, rubbing its head on it.
The soothing movement of the animal was lost to her as her anger rose again. Another interruption. Everyone had plotted against her. She took a step back, hoping to get rid of the animal but it followed her movement, never breaking the contact. She sighed in frustration as she took a step to the left, than to the right, still without success.
Clare was about to take a more drastic step. She had tried every other way and the cat would survive it, she tried to reassure her guilty conscious for hurting an innocent creature. But was it really innocent? It played with her, enjoying her fruitless efforts to escape. Shouldn’t animals have an inner sense for troubled persons? This one surely lacked it or used it to cause more trouble.
“Go away!” She screamed at the cat, her voice echoing from the walls.
Only then she recognized the cat. It wasn’t an ordinary cat but Tasha’s cat. Shocked by what she had done she leaned down and reached for the cat. Only when her finger clasped around the slender furred animal she realized that they were trembling. She rested the cat against her chest and scratched its head. The cat’s content purring vibrated against her chest.
“I’m sorry. I’m…….” She couldn’t continue. The trembling in her hands grew and she pressed the cat tightly against herself. Suddenly she felt a soft paw being pressed against her cheek. The little touch was enough to send her over the edge. A little sob escaped her throat and tears started to fall. “I don’t have time for this. I have to find Tasha.” She explained as much to the cat as to herself.
She put it down again and patted its head. Just as she was about to step down the first step of the stairs the cat was back between her legs, making moving without hurting both of them impossible.
“Cat.” She sniffed again. ”I have to go. It’s important.” She stretched her words but the cat stayed unimpressed.
“Help me or let me go.” She pleaded and suddenly the cat looked up right into her eyes. She knew that it wasn’t possible but she could have sworn that something like intelligence looked back at her. Like the cat understood her. Her heart skipped a beat as a ridiculous thought flashed through her mind. She remembered the first day at the farm. The thick heat when she stepped out. No one was in sight just…….. just the cat. Back then she had followed it in hope to find Tasha. And it had brought her to her.
And now when she needed to find Tasha again, even more than back then it was here again, looking at her with it’s deep knowing eyes. She knelt down to get a better look and the animal tilted its head, without breaking the eye contact. Was it all she had to do, just to ask the cat to bring her to the blonde? Was it that simple? She was desperate enough to give it a try. Time was ticking away and without some help she wouldn’t be able to find her lover, she realized. It had been stupid to storm out of her room, deaf to Nana’s words. The castle was too big, too many rooms Tasha could be in. She needed help and here was help offered. It was unexpected and from a dubious source but she couldn’t refuse it.
“Where is she?” she whispered nearly inaudible, scared that if she spoke too loud, the cat would startle and the magic would be gone, leaving behind the blanc unconscious gaze of a wild animal. But the sparkle of intelligence stayed there and she continued. “Can you bring me to her, please?”
Only after she had spoken the words, the cat broke the eye contact and strolled to the next floor on the right side, away from the kitchen stairs. Clare stood up but didn’t follow, still too astonished about her own doings. She had to be crazy. But the cat turned its head and looked back at her, this time an urge in its eyes that hadn’t been there before.
Without a second thought she left the kitchen behind, without searching it for Tasha and followed the cat into the small floor.
It was a short-cut to the next bigger floor. Clare frowned as she realized which floor it was. Tasha had no reason to be here. What did she want on the floor that headed to her mother’s wing? Her doubts were back. She had been stupid to follow the cat. What did she think? This part was the last part of the castle were she would find Tasha. She stopped. Except for the cat and herself no one was there. Clare looked back the way she came reconsidering her actions. She had lost precious time with the cat. Should she head back, continuing her old plan and start with the kitchen? Or should she search this floor against all logic?
The cat had stopped a few steps ahead of her and gazed at her.
“It’s a dead-end.” She worded her biggest fear. But she couldn’t feel anger for the cat. It wasn’t its fault. It was hers. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.
She turned around to go back to the kitchen when she heard a muffled scream from one of the rooms on the left side.
“Tasha?” Her head darted to the door in question. Clare stood stock-still and even held her breath to listen closer. There! There was definitely someone in there. She heard furniture being moved and glass crashing onto the stone floor.
“Tasha!” Without wasting another second she stormed forward and tore the door open. The scene before her eyes froze as the two persons in the room turned her eyes to look at her. No one moved, too shocked by what had happened.
She had found Tasha. At first she couldn’t believe her eyes. Tasha had really been at the kitchen, her mind realized in a split second when she saw the broken mug with sugar at the floor. A chair lay there too, like it had been thrown out of the way. The room showed signs of a fight but Clare grasped this only subconsciously as her attention was drawn to the two persons in the middle of the room. Tasha.....and Phillip....
Clare shook her head slightly, still in disbelief. The Count had pinned down Tasha between him and the big table that built the centerpiece of the room. He had pressed her against the table and held her down with his body’s weight. The blonde’s blouse had been ripped down forcefully over her left shoulder, revealing her bare breast. The otherwise pale skin was covered with red marks.
One of his hands was at her hip, her skirt pulled up half her leg. His other hand covered her mouth, suffocating her cries. There were tears running down Tasha’s cheeks and the blonde breathed heavily. But the worst were the troubled blue eyes of her lover that looked at her. Never before had she seen her lover’s pupils that big and still they couldn’t barely contain all the fear and pain that emanated from her lover. Worse than the fear was the shame she could see in Tasha’s eyes. Like she was ashamed to be caught in a situation like this. It was this shame that raked Clare’s hate and rage.
Clare’s eyes narrowed as she turned her eyes to the Count. There wasn’t shame in his eyes. She found only lust sparkling at her, there was even a small smile playing around his mouth, turning the normally handsome features into a grimace.
“Bastard.” Clare hissed in rage before she jumped at Phillip’s back. Her legs clutched around his waist and her hand scratched over his face when she tried to tear him off Tasha.
Over and over again she aimed for his eyes in blind fury. Now his screams filled the room but she didn’t realize anything that went on around her. All she could see were Tasha’s eyes filled with fear and shame that had burned their image into her mind. Clare didn’t hear his cries and screams for help. She didn’t even realize that he had given Tasha free and that the blonde had slinked against the wall in a heap, clutching her torn blouse against herself.
Only when four strong hands pulled her down and away from the Count the reality around her started to sink in again.
“Let me go!” She fought against the arms that held her back, her eyes still fixed on Phillip. At least she had wiped his dirty smile from his face. Now it was covered with bloody marks.
“What happened here?” A new voice filled the room. A voice that didn’t allow disobedience or chaos in her castle.
Clare stopped her fight. She hadn’t noticed her mother entering the room. But it wasn’t only her mother. Like always she was surrounded by her retinue. Her ladies-in-waiting and her guards.
Suddenly the small room was over-crowed, barley taking in all the people that had gathered around the spectacle.
The queen’s attention lay on The Count, her face showing her disapproval of the whole situation. Her mother hated every irregularity as long as it didn’t come from herself.
Phillip brushed through his disheveled hair and spat at the floor. With his sleeve he wiped some blood from his lip using the time to find back into his role. When he looked up to meet the queens gaze finally, he was his old handsome self again.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the queen. “This witch.” He pointed at Tasha who had stayed unnoticed till now. With all the new attention directed at her, the blonde hid even more into herself.
A small nod from her mother was all that was needed and her other two guards were circled Tasha. A small cry escaped Tasha’s lips as the rough hands pulled her up and threw her to the queens feet. She didn’t dare to move.
Clare tried again to yank herself free to protect Tasha, but all her efforts were unsuccessful.
“This witch.” Phillip repeated and looked in despise at the shaking girl to his feet. “She lay in wait for me when I was on my way to pay our Majesty my respect. She tried to lure me into this room but I refused her obscene offer. Suddenly she threw some powder into my eyes and spoke in a different language and some unseen magic pulled me into this room and closed the door behind us. I tried to scream but I was unable to form a single sound.”
“Bastard. He’s lying. He pulled her into this room and … and………” Clare couldn’t bring the word over her lips. Sorrowful she looked down at Tasha but the blonde didn’t look up.
“Shut up.” Her mother hissed at her and slapped her.
Clare looked shocked at her mother. She knew her mother was a violent person, but never before in her whole life she had slapped her. There had never been physical punishment from her, she had always had better and more insidious methods to punish her daughter.
Unimpressed the queen turned back to the Count, a sweet false smile again on her lips. “Go on.” She asked him and he followed her order with pleasure.
“She pulled me against this table and started to undress me. I couldn’t move. All I could do was watching her, what she was about to do with my body.” He made a dramatic pause and even managed to form a little sob as he pressed his fist against his mouth to muffle it. Than he took a deep breath and continued. “And suddenly your daughter was in the room. Her eyes were black, there wasn’t humanity in them and she screamed like a Fury. She jumped on my back and … and…………” He shook his head theatrically. “Thankfully
Your Majesty and your guards came by and freed me.”
Most of the Queen’s maiden had stepped back in fear out of reach of the witch. Only one still stood next to the Queen. Anyanka tilted her head and took a closer examination of the Count. “So you’re saying, she’s a witch and did all this things to you.” She asked somehow amused.
But her humor was lost to everyone around her. “Yes.” Phillip spit, his finger pointing again at Tasha. “She’s a dangerous witch. She bewitched me and my fiancée.”
“She didn’t….” Clare started but a movement of her mother’s hand silenced her. The Princess realized that no matter what she would tell them, they wouldn’t believe her.
“Poor Princess. She bewitched your heart. Took away the love you felt for me and replaced it with this twisted satanic lust.” Phillip addressed her and as their eyes met she could see the triumph in his eyes. He knew he had won and he would do everything to destroy them.
The Queen stepped forward and loomed over Tasha. For a minute she just watched her like she examined a new interesting but dirty toy. Then suddenly her hands snatched out and her fingers clutched Tara’s temples. With a yank the Queen pulled Tasha up till the blonde kneed before her. Tasha whimpered when the older woman’s fingers tore painfully at her. “I won’t kill you, not now. For now I will throw you into the dungeon. Have you ever been there?” The queen asked sweetly.
Barely visible Tasha shook her head, transfixed by the queen’s gaze. “It has lots of noisy little dark rooms. And there are things in the dark that will hurt you cause you’re bad. Little pinching things that go in your ears and crawl on the inside of your skull. And you will never get out of there.” With a last look into Tasha’s terrified eyes she let her go and threw her back to the ground.
“No!” Once again Clare fought against her capturers. They couldn’t throw Tasha into the dungeon. It would kill her. Even as a child her father had told her all the scary stories about the dungeon. How their enemies were tortured down there. Once when she had set free one of his favorite hawks he had taken her down there and had showed her all the instruments. Some of them were still covered with blood and she never would forget the smell of burned flesh down there and she had heard the screams and pleads for freedom or death as they passed the dungeons. After that she hadn’t been able to sleep for a whole week and even years later she still heard the screams and smelled the burning flesh in her dreams. Her knees buckled under her and only the guards strong arms under hers kept her from falling over as her world crumbled around her.
“Bring her to her rooms and make sure that she doesn’t leave it.” Clare’s mother ordered the guards who held her daughter. Then she winked one of her maidens to bring her a handkerchief to wipe her hands.
With a wave of her head she ordered the other guards that had stepped back to her side. She nodded at Tasha. “Bring her down and bring the priest to me.”
As the guards pulled Tasha forcefully up, Tasha’s eyes met Clare’s. The blonde could barley stand and swayed from side to side. But suddenly she took a deep breath and strengthened herself. And for a second the fear in her eyes was replaced by something else. Clare knew that look. She had often seen it in Tasha’s eyes and every time it had made her feel good, felt significant and worth. It was love.
‘I love you’ Tasha mouthed silently as a goodbye. Their eyes held each other till the guards dragged Tasha out of the room.
“No.” Clare whispered, when the last glimpse of Tasha’s blonde hair vanished. She didn’t want this ‘I love you’. She didn’t want it’s finality.
tbc..............
by MissQuirky » Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:29 pm 
i loved the section with nana talking about the castle and her past.....really very nice, and a great side to her character. but where is tasha?!?!?!?!? i'm worried.....update soon?? pretty please?? 
And then u come after all that emotional-ness and ya find out ur girlfriend is gone now that makes ur day even worse! 
I love the update though. I just hope nothing seriously bad happened to Tasha.
