Reunion

[tarawhipped]

Replies to Part 4…

Dianneswillowtree: Thank you, and while Willow definitely wouldn’t have minded a Hellmouth opening up and swallowing her at the beginning of the evening, the worst is past. I’ll take you up on that “take as many chapters as you need” offer…the next one was supposed to be the BBQ, but I got sidetracked.[br]
teenwillow: Thank you, Jessica. Still no smoochies, but they’ll get there.[br]
tazraven:

Willow needs to explain her sham of a marriage. I know once that happens, their issues will be so much easier to work through

Very astute. Hopefully any tears at the end of this next one will be of the happy variety, though there’s still a ways to go. Thanks, Sara.[br]
JustSkipIt:

Tara seems much more together in her updates than Willow does in this one

Absolutely, and that’s in part because Tara hasn’t been actively avoiding hearing anything about Willow the way Willow has about Tara. Tara had certain expectations, but Willow was facing a big question mark, and the unknown is always scarier than the known, imho. Glad you liked Leslie tellin’ it like it is (or was). That was a late addition, but I’m glad I put it in there. Lowering of walls is comin’ up. Thanks, Debra![br]
db: Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked Willow’s “freakshow of stress.” I have a bit of social anxiety, and I just multiplied it by a hundred or so to get Willow’s emotions to a proper level of spaz. She’s still Willow, though, so she gets to have the wry, self-deprecating humor. Otherwise, she would have come off as too depressing, and I would have been weeping by the end of writing it. Tara’s perception of some of the incidents from the reunion will be included next. I intended to go straight to the BBQ, but decided I really needed to show how she saw the evening, and get another pesky problem out of the way. I really appreciate your comments on the description, and that glimmer’s gonna get a little bigger next.[br]
cantbefredless: Please don’t cry! More is coming right up, and the angst is almost entirely over (there may be a little more here and there, but nothing they can’t work out).[br]
Axel_Avalon: Thank you, Axel, and I fully accept your compliment in the spirit given. I’ve only read a couple of Faulkner’s short stories, but even as an escaped Southerner, I have a fondness for Southern Gothic.[br]
dlline: Thank you, Diane, and I admit that stress to the point of hurling is bad bad bad, but Willow never does anything half-assed, does she? She’s driven to be the best student, the best hacker, the best witch…why not the best stressed out spaz? That said, the emotional whirlwind is winding down, and they can start to focus on what’s really important.[br]
kisstheviolets: Congrats on taking the bar, and good for you keeping focused. I’m glad you’re enjoying this story even with (or because of?) all the emotional upheaval. I didn’t expect it to go on so long, but I’m loving the positive reaction. More next, and thank you.[br]
mole:

So we’re going to see the BBQ from Tara’s perspective?

Well, we would have, but she got a little sidetracked on her way over there, and now it’ll probably be Willow’s turn…assuming they get there the update after next. Thank you.[br]
Emms: You are so sweet, Emmy, but if you lived in this story you wouldn’t be able to write your own, and that would be bad. I’m glad it all feels very genuine and grounded in reality. Lately I’ve been working on the Dopeygayland sequel, which is about as far from reality as possible, and hoping that they aren’t bleeding into one another. I feel a little bad now for not having Willow accept the dance, but I think everyone will be happy with the outcome of the next part, which I’ll just let you read for yourself. Thanks![br]
Reallybigpineapple: I’m glad you also pointed out the believability of this story. As much as I love a good soap opera of angst, I didn’t want to go there. Everyone has to deal with any number of little crises of varying degree every day, and it doesn’t have to involve boatloads of avoidable drama (despite what I thought from age 15-22). So yeah, no big bads (or even little bads) are going to show up at the BBQ, and Tara isn’t going to reveal that she just entered a convent…just mundane ‘can we get back what we threw away’ stuff. Thanks, Martina.[br]
Sadie: Thank you, and I’m glad you agreed with Willow’s decision to wait. There will be some necessary talking in this chapter, though it’s a wee bit on the short side.[br]
Safuega:

where is the never ending pain and suffering you solemnly promised to deliver?

Uh oh. *wonders if Safuega can sue me for breach of contract* See, the thing is, I’m not going to just tell you what’s coming up in every update, ‘cause then where’s the surprise? Like if I told you that in the next part Tara and Willow go skinny-dipping in the hotel pool to wash off all the barbeque sauce after the food fight that Xander started, why would you bother to read it? Tantrums aside, I always enjoy your feedback immensely. back atcha. Thanks![br]
JuJuDeRoussie: I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that while Tara was disappointed, she understands. The BBQ will not be next, but there will be some much needed talking. Thank you, Julia.[br]
DaddyCatALSO: Your explanation for Willow’s reluctance to dance is right on the money…it would be “too much.” She would either have a spazeizure (spaz seizure, characterized by jerky limbs, breakdown of the filter between the brain and the mouth, and a tendency to giggle hysterically), or they would have ended up making out on the dance floor, which sounds good in theory but would just lead to embarrassment. More progress for both of them next. Thanks.[br]
writerfreak: LMAO. Okay, I’m stop with the self-doubting if you stop making my head swell. Thank you so much.[br]
ringwaldoeuvre: Well, you’re right about things moving very slowly, but that’s partly your fault, my friend! Once you mentioned Tara’s thoughts on the evening, I realized I had to throw some in there, and rather than the next chapter being the BBQ, it’s just a lot of buildup. Still, things will move along, and Willow got most of her spazzing out—I won’t say all, ‘cause even I don’t know yet.

No worries on updating, I do understand time constraints, and it sounds like you’re doing important work. The fascinating world of local government, huh? Yeah, that fic will be right up there with mine on the cutting edge glamour of medical billing. Thanks Mary.[br]
CrazyTaraWitch:

I am totally in love with this story!

See, if I was as immature as my wife, I’d say “well, why don’t you marry it?!” But I’m not…so I won’t. Hee. Thanks, and more next.[br]
watty: LOL. No, Leslie was not bribed. She just had one of those “oops, I said too much” moments. Progress is slow, but sure, though no BBQ yet. Damn my meandering ways. Thanks, watty.[br]
WillowRulez: I’m glad you appreciated the humor, and the elephant in the room will be remarked on! The bulk of the talking, and the BBQ will be arriving at some point in the future, but not yet. Thank you.[br]
witchlove: More coming up, and they are moving toward getting back what they lost, but in this story they won’t just be skipping the important process in favor of kissing now. I promise it won’t be too long a process though. Thanks.[br]
Alcy: I’ll have you know I’ve only killed Buffy off in one fic! You’re the one guilty of serial Buffycide, missy. I’m so happy that you also commented on the reality of this story. It felt really odd the write the stilted dialogue of the first conversation, with both of them answering questions with more questions, since most of the time I think of them as finishing each others’ sentences. There isn’t a lot of talking in this next part, but it’s hopefully less awkward, more cathartic. There may still be some hiccups, as you put it, but nothing too bad…unless you count Buffy being stabbed to death with her own barbeque fork. Thank you, Alcy.[br][br][br]

[tarawhipped]

Reunion
by Tarawhipped
Rated R
Feedback: Please!
Distribution: Different Colored Pens & Mystic Muse. All others please ask first.
Disclaimer: All things Buffy are the sole property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Summary: See part one.[br][br][br]
Tara[br][br]
I could have felt a lot of things when I woke up at a ridiculously early hour on Sunday morning: hung over; irritated by the combined noise of the dog scratching at the back door to be let out, Katie shouting “just a minute, Daisy!”, Dawn shouting “Katie, keep your voice down; people are sleeping!”; chagrin for how my ill-thought-out request for a dance was completely shot down.[br]
But I felt none of those things.[br]
First off, I didn’t have that much to drink. It had turned out to be a relatively early evening. As soon as Buffy had noticed DJ Hot Stuff teaching Kevin how to mix—which apparently involved full-body contact and tonsil hockey—she’d huffed “why do I bother?” and was ready to bolt. By that time I’d already talked to everyone I wanted to anyway, including a brief and strangely uncomfortable conversation with Leslie, who seemed to want to crawl under a rock the whole time and wouldn’t say why, despite my best display of psychologist prodding.[br]
The noise, had I been home, would have prompted the usual banging on the ceiling with a mop handle…the now standard signal for my upstairs neighbor to stop moving furniture, tap-dancing, bowling, or whatever it was she did that made such a god-awful racket. Our ongoing feud had recently moved to the ‘angry letter to the condo association’ phase. Living in the city I was accustomed to a certain amount of noise, but being awoken from sleep still put me in a bad mood for the morning. Today, however, as I lay listening to Dawn trying to shush Jeremy’s wails, Grant lumbering down the stairs to take Daisy for her walk, and Katie singing along with the latest cartoon theme song, I first felt an uncharacteristic contentment, closely followed by acute jealously.[br]
On the increasingly rare occasions when I actually woke up with someone, my thoughts didn’t stray too far from ‘how soon can I leave/ask her to leave without appearing rude?’ I liked having my house and my time to myself. There had been plenty of occasions, beginning with grad school, when having a roommate would have made financial sense, but I’d never seriously considered it. My home was my sanctuary, and I’d chafed against the mere idea of letting anyone else in. Anyone except Miss Kitty the Third, who shared my disdain to such an extent that she once followed an overnight guest from room to room, staring at her until she got creeped out and left. Miss Kitty got a special breakfast that day.[br]
But somehow the chaotic domesticity of Dawn’s life didn’t have me lunging for my earplugs or burying my head under the pillow. As I lay there, smiling at the sounds of a happy family going about their usual morning routine, it had me longing for someone to settle down and play house with.[br]
No, not someone.[br]
Willow.[br]
After my initial shock at her gaunt appearance, and the discomfort of our feeble attempts at small talk, I was almost ready to admit that I no longer knew this woman. And then she’d gone fishing to find out if I’d brought a date, asking-but-not-asking in that maddeningly adorable way she does, and it just clicked. She was Willow: insecure, brain going a mile a minute, broadcasting her emotions like a beacon for anyone versed in Willow to read. The fact that I was still fluent was a surprise, and not an entirely pleasant one. Buffy’s comment about my having already met “the one” was all well and good, but it didn’t change the fact that “the one” was married, though Willow seemed remarkably cavalier about the subject of her husband, even when I pressed the issue a bit.[br]
I hadn’t anticipated my question about children to lead where it did, but as soon as she apologized to me, I knew she’d been thinking not of him but of all the times she and I had discussed our future. When she started tearing up, I didn’t stop to think, and goddess help me she felt so right in my arms. She stopped crying at once, and I could tell she felt it too. When I whispered in her ear, she shuddered against me, and I could have stood there all night, holding her. Luckily, she regained control before I could do anything stupid, and Buffy rescued us from any further premature intimacy.[br]
Still, the frustration of not being able to hold a conversation over the music started to get to me, and when Willow went to the bathroom, I took the opportunity to solicit Buffy’s advice.[br]
[blockquote]“I’m thinking about asking her if she wants to go somewhere and talk,” I shouted over the music.[br]
“Ooo, somewhere like her swanky room upstairs?” Buffy asked, sounding a little Xander-like. “Wait. You’re ditching me?”[br]
“Oh, um, yes. But I was thinking more along the lines of the Espresso Pump.”[br]
“Good idea. A caffeinated Willow is a happy Willow. Take the car, I’ll walk.”[br]
“You sure?” I asked, distracted as the strains of a familiar song grabbed my attention. I turned, searching the crowd until I saw Willow, who was standing across the room, watching me.[/blockquote][br]
I hadn’t felt so nervous in years as I walked over to her, and when she turned down my spontaneous request to dance, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d been reading her wrong the whole time. But then she’d touched me and admitted she wanted to talk as well, and behind her resolve face I saw a glimpse of something familiar, which stirred an old memory.[br]
When I’d first offered her the doll’s eye crystal, she already knew how I felt about her, and turned it down. Despite my protestations that it wasn’t meant as anything other than a friendship thing, she knew it was more; as did I, denial notwithstanding. When she came to my room later that night, she admitted that she had feelings for me too, but didn’t want to lead me on until she was sure. She’d told me she was “cautiously enthusiastic,” which I tried to argue was an oxymoron. Somehow she managed to convince me that it wasn’t, and by the next morning, I’d managed to convince her of a few things, not the least of which was that she was a frickin’ amazing kisser.[br]
I recognized her cautious enthusiasm this time, and while I was a little disappointed, I knew it was for the best. I was feeling very much like throwing caution to the wind, but she was not someone I wanted to wake up with and think my usual thoughts. If I was to ever wake up with her again, I wanted it to be forever. Just knowing that my feelings were requited, despite the time and distance and the circumstances of our lives, was enough last night.[br]
This morning, however, my giddiness at seeing her again had me bouncing off the walls. Dawn used the same voice she used when Katie was getting in her way and told me to make myself useful or stay out of the kitchen. I went to work on the potato salad, and it felt nice to have something to keep me busy until 11:30…other than staring at the clock on the oven, which seemed to be moving so slowly I asked if it was broken.[br]
“For the third time, no, it’s not!”[br]
“Okay, okay. Do you think Anya needs any help? We’re almost done here and we could go over early and—what are you doing?” I asked as Dawn grabbed the wooden spoon out of my hand and started dragging me out of the kitchen.[br]
“I have a good ten years until I have to put up with a teenager with a crush,” Dawn stated, taking a set of keys off the hook by the door and slapping them into my hand. “Take Grant’s car and go get Willow. We’ll meet you at Xander’s.”[br]
“Oh, Dawn, I don’t know if that’s—”[br]
“Tara, I love you but you are driving me nuts. I’ll call Buffy and let her know she’s off chauffeur duty. Now go.”[br]
I ran upstairs to change and was out the door in five minutes. I had a moment while waiting at the hotel’s front desk to worry that Willow might feel uncomfortable with the change of plans, but shrugged it off when the clerk hung up the phone after a brief call upstairs and gave me Willow’s room number. The elevator seemed to take forever, but then I was standing at her door. She answered my knock immediately and ushered me in with an apologetic smile.[br]
“I’ll be done here in a minute,” she said, covering the mouthpiece of her cell phone and indicating the sofa.[br]
I nodded and took a seat. I tried not to eavesdrop, but the suite wasn’t that big, and since she didn’t bother to go into the other room, I assumed she didn’t mind me hearing her conversation.[br]
“I’m here…I know it would be better to discuss this in person, but…uh huh. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting it, either. That’s still in question—no, not on my end, but…you really think so? Thank you. You’re sure you don’t mind? Okay, I’ll call Jane in the morning and have her get started on the paperwork. No, no rush, but I know these things can take some time. Exactly. Feel free to call me if you think of anything else, or just fax my office. I really appreciate this. Okay, talk to you soon.”[br]
I’d stood up to move to the window, which offered a breathtaking view of the town. I managed to pick out all twelve cemeteries and my old dorm by the time I heard Willow snap her phone shut.[br]
“Xander was right; this place is impressive.”[br]
“Uh huh,” she murmured, staring at the phone in her hand.[br]
“Are you okay?”[br]
“Fine!” she enthused, a nervous giggle escaping her lips as she set the phone down on the desk, her hand trembling. She looked up and smiled at me, and I wondered how I could have possibly thought the view out the window was breathtaking.[br]
“Good phone call?” I guessed.[br]
“Very good.”[br]
She didn’t elaborate, or say anything, but simply kept smiling with a look of dazed bewilderment on her face. I tried to interpret her half of the conversation to determine what could be making her grin so goofily. I remembered several months ago Buffy had mentioned something about a research project Willow was having trouble funding.[br]
“Are you getting a grant?”[br]
“No.” Willow shook her head slowly and took a deep breath. “A divorce.”[br]
“Oh.” Okay, not what I was expecting. “Um.” And suddenly this is moving really fast. “Oh.” Shouldn’t these things take time?[br]
“It’s something I should have done a long time ago,” she said, looking at the floor. “Actually, I never should have married him in the first place.”[br]
“Why did you?” I blurted out before I could censor myself. She looked at me sadly.[br]
“I was stupid, and he was nice. It was never, never like…” she paused in frustration. “We were friends, you know? He made it easier.”[br]
“Made what easier?” I asked, belatedly cringing at how the question and my tone were exactly what I would use with a patient. I knew we were on the verge of a long-overdue talk and wasn’t sure either of us was ready for it. Part of me hoped she would give some flippant answer, and we could go to the barbeque and enjoy ourselves and leave the serious talk ‘til later.[br]
“Getting over you.”[br]
I held her gaze and nodded at her whispered confirmation of everything Buffy and Dawn had been telling me for years. I never thought it would really happen, and now that it had I was terrified. The metaphorical elephant in the room was sitting on my chest, crushing me under its weight. I struggled to breathe evenly.[br]
“But it didn’t work,” she continued, her voice catching. “I never did.”[br]
I couldn’t stand there anymore—listening to her pouring her heart out—and maintain a wall of detachment. She’d thrown caution out the window, and I had no choice but to follow. I opened my arms and she practically fell into them, our bodies folding together so perfectly I thought my heart would burst.[br]
“Neither did I,” I confessed, rocking her in my embrace and no longer caring what time it was or how late we showed up, if at all. “Neither did I.”[br][br]
TBC[br][br][br]

[JujuDeRoussie]

DIBS ^^

Yay an update!! Now I'm gonna sleep!! But feedback first ^^

Really THANK YOU

Willow + Divorce = Willow and Tara happier AND Willow and Tara another chance... which seems to be taken? I know 15 years can't be just throw out like that but they're gonna work things out
Not too fast because I don't want it to finish

I really like how you write Tara's feelings... how she tells us what she feels usually when she's woken up by noise...

Very enjoyable your update

Thank you

A grinning Julia ^^

[tazraven]

Yay!!

Ok, that was my happy dance. Anyways, great chapter Cam! You exceeded my expectations in this chapter. I thought it would be another few sections until Willow revealed her marriage was a shame, but nope. You got it right out into the open. There's still so much for them to work through, but I feel like that was a huge and exceedingly necessary step. So thankyou. A couple more things.

“I have a good ten years until I have to put up with a teenager with a crush,”

That bit just made me laugh so much. I could definitely see Tara being beaten out of the kitchen by Dawn brandishing a wooden spoon. Hehe.

“No.” Willow shook her head slowly and took a deep breath. “A divorce.”

“Oh.” Okay, not what I was expecting. “Um.” And suddenly this is moving really fast. “Oh.” Shouldn’t these things take time?

Those two lines made me happy as heck, and then wary. I know that Tara is smart to think about things before anything happens, but I am definitely missing my vicarious smoochies. The way you wrote her thoughts in between the words though, was just perfect. Made it seem like she was saying so much with so little, and I have a feeling that maybe Willow could read between the lines as well.

Great job, great chapter. Looking forwards to more.

~Sara

[CrazyTaraWitch]

beautiful

[WillowRulez]

This is much better than the BBQ
Good that Willow took that step finally.

[teenwillow]

lovely update, im glad theyve finaly talked a bit n know how eachother feel!
update soon!

[dlline]

Well, Cam, they say the devil is in the details, and your details rock!

There is far too much here to break it all down. Happy family noises, Tara pinging off the walls, and Miss Kitty III, all come together to paint a very complete picture. I really enjoyed all of it and can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Thanks for sharing.

Diane

[db]

dag.

Tara as a teenager with a crush... very cute imagery.

hmmm

I think it is cute but waaaaay bigger than that. She wants forever, she sees and recognizes Willow's cautious enthusiasm... she *knows* Willow is still interested.

... and Willow is getting a divorce?! Yay... but also, whoa. I mean, Tara asked for a dance and yeah, it was a clear indication of Tara's continued interest (that and Leslie's big revelation in the last update) and *yeah* it was clearly a bad idea to get married in the first place but ... whoa. Tara asks for a dance and Willow (in typical willow fashion) throws caution to the wind and jumps in with both feet!

...and they end up in each other's arms again... somehow united in this room filled with cautious enthusiasm and hope. They never got over each other. Thankfully and finally they have admitted it to each other.

Still. Maybe, possibly one or two discussions away from resloving all the past between them?

But! In each other's arms!

yay!!!

I love it!

db

[Willowtree252]

Am I the only one here that thinks this is a cliffhanger please I need my smoochies come back aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh more

[sadie]

Aww caution to the wind!! I agree it does come across a wee bit cliffhangery... But the good kind!


Thanks for this update :')

[Boadecia]

Absolutely gorgeous, I love that tingly feeling I get when reading this fic...if only it would happen in real life lol

[theblew]

i feel like in the next chapter, you're gonna start with tara waking up from a dream. a good dream, but scary in it's own right.

i guess i just expected more drama before they admitted their feelings for eachother. verbal fights and so forth.

but just since they've admitted their feelings now, doesn't mean they don't have a ton and a half more crap to work on and work with.

i love it so far! keep it up.

[writerfreak]

Okay, minimal head-swelling from now on. But it is still completely fabulous. Great update. I loved every second of reading it. Even during the heart-wrenching end. Mmmm wonderful.

writerfreak

[JustSkipIt]

Cam - I came home from my second straight weekend out of town to find updates galore. Yours is perhaps the happiest. The first part is fanstatic run-up with Tara's introspection and Dawn's sending her off. And then the scene in Willow's room is just so short and wonderful. It's one of those examples of a time when Willow (or anyone) can either turn right and tell a lie or a half-truth or turn left and say her truth and change the world. And she does which makes me feel very proud of her. And Tara answers her equally. Wonderful.

[mole]

Hiya, Cam.

Lovely update, as always. So happy to see Willow and Tara finally talking...although emotional conversation, hugs, and hotel rooms can lead to not-necessarily-good-idea type behavior. Not to say that naked W/T action would be a bad thing, not at all. Just saying that some processing needs to happen, some air needs to be cleared, before the lovin' starts.

Oh, and this cracked me up:

Anyone except Miss Kitty the Third, who shared my disdain to such an extent that she once followed an overnight guest from room to room, staring at her until she got creeped out and left. Miss Kitty got a special breakfast that day.

I had a cat that did this very thing, she had a stare that could make the Sphinx blink.

Looking forward to the BBQ and how long it takes the gang to notice that something has changed....

Michelle

[Emms]

Cam, that chapter was awesome. *swoon* I got a warm fuzzy feeling when Willow was talking on the phone 'cos I just knew that it would be that she was getting a divorce... I'm just so glad that they admitted that they'd never gotten over each other... and then with the hugging... *swoon again*

You've left me virtually speechless, sweetie....

xoxo
Emms

[watty]

You're right. We needed this chapter, gives the whole story yet another layer. If we'd gone directly to the bbq we would have missed Tara's important self-realization,

And then she’d gone fishing to find out if I’d brought a date, asking-but-not-asking in that maddeningly adorable way she does, and it just clicked. She was Willow: insecure, brain going a mile a minute, broadcasting her emotions like a beacon for anyone versed in Willow to read.

And she's always been the best interpreter of the fascinating language / entity that is Willow. The thoughts back to presumably their first kiss during The I in Team neatly segued to the teenager with a crush remark by Dawn (of all people!). Willow getting a divorce is so typically Willow, she doesn't do things by halves does she? I can't help but wonder if it's too fast, that it puts pressure on Tara to get back into a relationship with Willow. ("I got a divorce, I gave up my cushy tax break! What do you mean you don't want to get naked with me now?") I'm not saying Tara doesn't want a relationship with Willow, I'm just saying since the marriage with Benjamin is in name only, the divorce can be any time, it doesn't have to be right this minute.

Of course, Tara opens her arms and welcomes Willow in, awwwwwww. And I turn into a big softie and forget about everything but my burning need for smoochies. Now.
[br]

[Safuega]

Cam - alas, no I cannot sue you for breach of contract for the unforgivable lack of thorough unhappines aka as angst, but if it makes you feel any better I totally would if i could!

As for me not reading your fantastic fics if you just told me what's coming -- oh ye woman of little faith! Why, if you were to include said skinny dipping pool scene in say the next update (they are conveniently at the hotel after all) I'd guartantee you that I'd read it that little ditty...over and over and over ....and over.

Okay now for the serious feedback, lovely update Cam, it felt thoroughly rigth. I enjoyed your depiction of Dawn's homelife as mediated by Tara's percention of it. I knew that Willow was talking about divorce as soon as I read that paragraph and at first I thought she was talking to a lawyer already but on my second read I think she might be talking directly to good ol' Ben. No matter, everything in this update felt right, Tara's thoughts, Willow's actions, their conversation and the final embrace.

Thanks for sharing and I am sooo looking forward to the skinny dipping installment of this fic!

Safuega

[tarawhipped]

Replies to Part 5:

JujuDeRoussie: Thank you, Julia. I’m glad you liked Tara’s thoughts, since they’re the reason the BBQ wasn’t included in that chapter (or the next…me and my tangents). Of course they’ll work things out, but I’ll let you read instead of spoiling.[br]
tazraven: I really wanted Willow’s ‘marriage’ to be dealt with before anything else happened between them, and there will be more about that in the next part, since you’re right, Willow needs to explain it to Tara, who’s a little stunned. I’m glad you liked that Dawn line, I enjoyed writing it! Thanks Sara.[br]
CrazyTaraWitch: Thank you.[br]
WillowRulez:

This is so much better than the BBQ

I’m glad you think so, since the BBQ won’t be appearing next, either. More happy good thoughts and talking next. Thank you.[br]
teenwillow: There will be more talking in the next part, which will make their feelings even more clear. Thanks for writing.[br]
dlline: Thanks so much, Diane. When I think of people who write really amazingly vivid description, I think of Heather and Emms and Katharyn. Certainly not me, but I started this in an attempt to try something new, and am very thankful for all the positive feedback.[br]
db:

Tara as a teenager with a crush…very cute imagery

Thank you! I thought it was pretty funny too, especially the idea that she would be so insufferable that Dawn couldn’t take it! As for Tara’s reaction to Willow’s big news, it’s definitely a shock, and there will be a lot more talking in the next part. Thank you.[br]
Dianneswillowtree: LOL. That wasn’t a cliffhanger! A cliffhanger would have been stopping it on Tara’s thought that she was terrified. But I’m not that mean. Well, not in this fic, anyway. Thanks![br]
sadie: Again with the cliffhanger?! Y’all better watch it, or I’ll give you a cliffhanger that’ll curl your hair—or uncurl it, as the case may be. Thank you.[br]
Boadecia: Thank you so much, I’m glad you’re enjoying it…and no, real life never does work out like this, does it?[br]
theblew:

i feel like in the next chapter, you’re gonna start with tara waking up from a dream

Nope, no dreams, no misdirects, no husbands showing up. They’re will be more to work through, but for the most part the rest is angst free. Thank you.[br]
writerfreak: Thank you as always, and I hope you enjoy the rest.[br]
JustSkipIt:

It's one of those examples of a time when Willow (or anyone) can either turn right and tell a lie or a half-truth or turn left and say her truth and change the world

I really liked that description, and Willow’s thoughts on the matter are up next. They’re both grown a lot, and know the mistakes they made in the past, especially Willow. Thanks, Debra.[br]
mole:

emotional conversation, hugs, and hotel rooms can lead to not-necessarily-good-idea type behavior

It can, but it won’t, and I hope that’s not too big a spoiler. I didn’t want to go there, as that would lead back into the angst, and the rest of the story is pretty drama free. More talk is the order of the day.[br]
I’m glad you like the Miss Kitty III story. When I first started spending the night at my (now) wife’s apartment, I would sometimes wake up to her cat staring at me. It was creepy. But since we’ve been together for 7 years now, I obviously didn’t freak and run away. [br]
Still no BBQ, but it will be the chapter after next. Thanks, Michelle.[br]
Emms: Thank you, Emms. I don’t know how you write all the emotional stuff, cause I find myself following the emotions of the characters as I write them. It’s grueling! But now we’re past the heavy stuff and onto the happiness, which will hopefully result in many more warm fuzzies.[br]
watty: Tara definitely ‘gets’ Willow better than anyone, but most importantly, she recognizes those things that made Willow Willow. I think both had that fear that the other would be so changed as to be unrecognizable, which isn’t the case. No worries on them moving too fast, despite Willow’s rush to get a divorce. Her side will make her motives clear...though I do like your bit of dialogue. Thanks, Watty![br]
Safuega: Thank you, and Willow’s entire phone convo will be in the next part, so I’ll just let you read it. Unfortunately, the skinny dipping had to be cancelled due to the unusualy cold spring. I insisted the pool was heated, but Willow and Tara refused.

[tarawhipped]

Reunion
by Tarawhipped
Rated R
Feedback: Please!
Distribution: Different Colored Pens & Mystic Muse. All others please ask first.
Disclaimer: All things Buffy are the sole property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Summary: See part one.
Special thanks to Watty for her advice on this part.[br][br][br]
Willow[br][br]
I slept badly, tossing and turning and trying to stop my brain from spinning off in a million directions. For every answer I came to, a dozen new questions asserted themselves, though one simple fact remained consistent, and I was determined to deal with it first thing in the morning. Sheer exhaustion finally did me in around 3:30 am, and at 7:30 I dragged myself out of bed just long enough to call mom and ask her if we could have dinner instead of breakfast. That settled, I went back to sleep until 10:00. Luckily the suite had a full size coffee maker, which I set to brew before jumping in the shower.[br]
By 10:45 I was on my third cup and approaching full consciousness. I pulled up Benjamin’s itinerary and clicked on Vienna. A note popped up that listed the hotel, phone number, and local time, and I dialed, hoping he hadn’t gone out for an early dinner. I had to get this over with.[br]
“Hallo, Hotel Kaiserhof.”[br]
“Ich verlange Benjamin Levy.”[br]
“Einen moment, bitte.”[br]
As the phone rang I had a brief tummy rumble, wondering if I should be doing this. Well, not so much about the ‘doing,’ but now…like this…over the phone. I had no doubts that he would understand, but still. I know mom would say it’s tacky, but I couldn’t exactly fly over and do it in person, could I? And waiting two and half months was not an option. I was resolved. I couldn’t ask her for anything—couldn’t move forward myself—until this was behind me.[br]
“Hello?”[br]
“Hi, Ben, it’s me.”[br]
“Willow? Is something wrong?”[br]
“No, nothing’s wrong,” I said quickly, feeling a little guilty. It occurred to me that on the frequent occasions when one or another of us was traveling, we never called each other. “How’s the conference going?”[br]
There was a long pause on the other end of the line.[br]
“Fine,” he answered, drawing out the word. “Not that it isn’t nice to hear from you, but did you really call just to ask me that?”[br]
“Well no, I…damn it, the other phone’s ringing. Hold on a sec.” I held the cell phone to my chest and picked up the phone on the bedside table. “Hello?”[br]
“Miss Rosenberg, this is the front desk. Tara Maclay is here to see you.”[br]
My heart started thumping and I wondered if Benjamin could hear it through the phone. What was she doing here? Buffy was supposed to be picking me up, and not for another…I glanced at the clock…forty-five minutes.[br]
“Send her up, please,” I said, not knowing what else to do, and set down the receiver. I took a deep breath and lifted my cell phone. Okay, now or…well, not never, but probably later than now. “Ben, there’s no easy way to do this, so I’m just going to say it and hope you won’t think I’m a bad person, ‘cause I really do like you a lot and I don’t want you to think that it’s anything you did, or didn’t, do…it’s just that—”[br]
“You want a divorce.”[br]
Not even a question. It was almost like he’d been expecting it, and while that should have made it easier, it actually made me feel like a complete jerk.[br]
“Yes.”[br]
“I take it the reunion went well?”[br]
“What? I mean yes, it was nice, but how—”[br]
“Willow, I may be an old fuddy-duddy, but I’m not blind. When we first met you told me you’d lost someone, though at the time I assumed you meant she’d died. It is a ‘she,’ right?”[br]
“Yes,” I whispered, stunned.[br]
“But then you didn’t go to your 5 or 10 year reunions, even though we both know you didn’t have any work your grad students couldn’t have handled for a few days, despite what you told Buffy. And for a month before and after each occasion, you were even more reserved than usual.”[br]
“I didn’t think you noticed,” I admitted, regretfully realizing that I’d been not so much ‘reserved’ as a short-tempered B-I-T-C-H during the times in question. There was a soft knock on the door, and I pulled it open, smiling apologetically and motioning her inside. I covered the mouthpiece of my phone as Benjamin defended his observational skills. “I’ll be done here in a minute.”[br]
“Willow? You still there?”[br]
“I’m here…I know it would be better to discuss this in person, but—”[br]
“No worries. I know once you’ve made up your mind you have to act.”[br]
“Uh huh.”[br]
“You sound different. Is she there?”[br]
“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting it, either.”[br]
“The unexpected is often much more interesting than the results you anticipated. Even more so when it comes to love…and it is love, isn’t it?”[br]
“That’s still in question.”[br]
“Really? I thought—"[br]
“—No, not on my end, but…”[br]
“She’s there, isn’t she? Perhaps she’s come to the same conclusions you have.”[br]
“You really think so?”[br]
“I think you have excellent instincts, Willow, and you wouldn’t be making this decision if you weren’t certain on some level that it’s the right one.”[br]
“Thank you. You’re sure you don’t mind?”[br]
“Well, I don’t relish going back to fending off Mrs. Friedman’s attempts to fix me up with all of the eligible ladies at her Temple, but I’ll manage. Just let me know what I can do.”[br]
“Okay, I’ll call Jane in the morning and have her get started on the paperwork.”[br]
“Are you in a rush? One of my golf group is a judge, I’m sure he could speed things along.”[br]
“No, no rush, but I know these things can take some time.”[br]
“And you want her to know you’re serious.”[br]
“Exactly.”[br]
“I’d be happy to buy out your share of the house, or sell you mine, whichever you want. But we can discuss the particulars later. I’ll touch base with Jane later this week and see where things stand.”[br]
“Feel free to call me if you think of anything else, or just fax my office. I really appreciate this.”[br]
“Don’t mention it. Take care of yourself, Willow.”[br]
“Okay, talk to you soon.”[br]
I felt light headed when I hung up, suddenly freed of the proverbial weight of my self-imposed mask. I blamed the giddiness for my glib response to Tara’s question of what the call was about. Her stunned reaction made me nervous, and I hastily explained that it was a decision I should have made before. I didn’t want her to think that I was behaving recklessly or rushing her in any way. I didn’t even intend to do more than tell her that, for the moment, but then she stared asking me questions, I couldn’t hide anything from her. I didn’t want to hide. So much of what had gone wrong before had been because of my fear: of not being needed, of her leaving, of losing control.[br]
The irony was that those things might not have happened if I’d just been more trusting and open with her. I was determined not to make the same mistakes. Whatever she asked, I would answer truthfully. What she didn’t ask I would offer. If there was any hope for a future together, it had to be based on trust.[br]
I didn’t think we’d get into the Big Talk just yet, as we were due at Xander and Anya’s in half an hour, but then she hugged me, and confirmed what Buffy had tried to tell me so long ago, and I found I didn’t care if we blew off our friends completely.[br]
Not that we did—well, not entirely. We sat down on the big sofa, her curled up on one end, me on the other. We drank the last of the coffee and I told her why I’d gotten married. How it had hurt so bad to see her with someone else, and that I had felt like I’d lost my chance. I tried to convey how much I didn’t blame her for leaving, and that it had been the right thing to do, for both of us. I knew I hadn’t fully succeeded since she still stuttered out an apology, and explained that she and Leslie hadn’t gone out that long.[br]
We talked about that night before graduation, bridging the distance on the couch and just holding onto each other as we realized what had happened. We cried until we laughed, ‘cause really…how stupid were we? I said I wished I had a time machine so I could go back and beat the crap out of myself. She said she wished she’d called or written. How do you deal with fifteen years worth of regretting what never should have happened?[br]
We talked for several hours, almost without stopping to breathe. After I explained about Benjamin, she told me about her love life. At first I was surprised…the number alone was a shock. I mean, if I felt like the junior partner before…but I got it. And while a part of me felt bad for all those women she’d never really let in, mostly I was doing the Snoopy dance. Mentally, that is. I didn’t want to gloat. After admitting that there’d never been anyone since her though, it felt good to know that I wasn’t alone in recognizing that what we’d had was special.[br]
At some point in the second hour she paused, looking down, her eyebrows knit in concentration. I knew she was thinking through something important, and sipped my lukewarm coffee while I waited.[br]
“It takes time,” she stated at last, and I wasn’t entirely sure whether she was talking to herself or me until she looked up and made eye contact. She glanced at her mug and set it on the side table. “We can’t just have coffee and expect—”[br]
“I know,” I said, meeting her gaze head on. Whatever she needed, I would do my utmost to provide, and knew she would do no less in return.[br]
“We’re not the same people we were before. We have to learn if we can fit in each other’s lives. It’s an important process, but so are you.”[br]
I nodded solemnly, and tears were clouding my eyes again, happy though they were. I swiped them away and choked out a laugh.[br]
“Wait. I’m important or I’m a process?”[br]
“Important, smart ass,” she laughed, before her eyes took on a more serious regard. “I’ve never stopped…caring, you know. There were so many times I thought about asking Buffy for your number. I just…didn’t know what to say.”[br]
I nodded in understanding.[br]
“I wanted to contact you so many times, but there was always an excuse why I shouldn’t, and it just got easier to convince myself that I had no right intruding into your life,” I admitted. “But I’ve never stopped thinking about you, either.”[br]
“Everything happens in its own time,” she said softly. “Maybe we weren’t ready before.”[br]
“And now?” I asked, holding my breath.[br]
“I’d like to try…if you would,” she answered.[br]
“Ohh,” I exhaled, feeling overwhelmed. “I feel like…you know when you lose something, like a…like a favorite sweater, and you think it’s gone forever, and after a while you start to forget what was so special about it in the first place? But then you find it, and it’s…amazing.”[br]
“Are you calling me an old sweater?” she guffawed.[br]
“No!” I backpedaled, trying to think up a better simile. “Okay, that was a bad example. Umm…oh! Say you have this really beautiful, special bracelet—no, not a bracelet—a, a—”[br]
She was doubled over laughing by the time I wound down, my ears hot with embarrassment. She sighed and tilted her head at me, and our hands moved in tandem across the seat cushion to entwine. I looked down at them, but lifted my gaze when I felt hers on me.[br]
“Does the sweater still fit?” she asked with a crooked grin. I squeezed her hand.[br]
“It does.”[br]
At one time I might have grabbed her and kissed her senseless at that point, but I didn’t. Maybe it was nerves, or fear of coffee breath, but I was content with knowing that there would be kisses…soon. There was still so much we had to relearn about each other. I asked her about her work, and saw a confidence I’d never before witnessed as she talked about her practice.[br]
“It’s not easy, but I love it,” she said after summarizing how she’d gotten into the field.[br]
“You help people.”[br]
“Some of them,” she nodded. “Not all. First and foremost, they have to want to be helped.”[br]
“Sometimes people don’t realize they need it,” I said, looking at her meaningfully and knowing she understood. “And no matter how much you want to help them, they have to want to help themselves more.”[br]
“I should have—”[br]
“Don’t. No apologizing. I was the dummy. I didn’t know I needed help, and by the time I did, well…I’m sorry. Maybe if I’d said something once I knew—”[br]
“Don’t,” she echoed back, but her tone was playful. “No more beating ourselves up for all the things we did or didn’t do. It’s done, and we both know better now.”[br]
“Wow. You really are good at this therapy stuff.”[br]
She smiled wickedly.[br]
“Wait ‘til you get my bill.”[br]
I was unable to think of an appropriate response to that. ‘Maybe we can work it out in trade’ seemed a little too spicy just yet, but my speechlessness was saved by the ring of a cell phone…two actually. I walked over to the desk as she dug through her purse.[br]
“Xander, what’s up?”[br]
“Hi, Anya.” She winked at me, and my heart did a little flip.[br]
“Oh crap, I lost track of time,” I said, confirming by the clock that it was in fact after 1:00. “We’ll be right over.”[br]
“Yes, Anya, it’s very inconsiderate of us. Talking. That is all! None of your business! Do you want us to come over or not? Okay then. Yes, we’d love some cow. See you soon.”[br]
She switched off her phone and put it back her bag, shaking her head and smiling.[br]
“What?” I asked, remembering how much I adored her sense of humor, especially when she found something amusing that no one else would notice. She grinned at me.[br]
“Our friends are insane.”[br]
I know it was just grammatically correct phrasing, and not that big a deal in relation to everything else we’d discussed, but hearing her say ‘our’ practically sent me into a swoon.[br]
“Is that your professional opinion, Doctor Maclay?” I teased as we stepped out through the door and started down the hall.[br]
“Well, I might need some scientific research to back it up. Sooo, have you come to any conclusions, Doctor Rosenberg?”[br]
I was bouncing on my feet as I pushed the button for the elevator. I’d missed this. Missed her, obviously, but missed how much I loved just being around her, talking, acting goofy. I felt lighter than I had in years. I’m not sure I’d ever felt this light. She had a similar expression of relaxed contentment when I looked at her earnestly.[br]
“Definitely insane.”[br]
The elevator arrived at that moment, it’s bell punctuating my assessment with a resounding ‘ding!’ We laughed all the way to the barbeque.[br][br]
TBC[br][br][br]

[Safuega]

'Shamelessly breaks her promises all the time' Cam wrote:

Unfortunately, the skinny dipping had to be cancelled due to the unusualy cold spring.

DAMMMMMN YOUUUU GLOBAL WARMING!!!

Safuega

PS Will return at a later date for real feedback, I promise.

ETA: Lovely update, Cam. I liked the pace of the conversation and how matter of fact they were about it all. I also liked the fact that they did not beat themselves more over the lost 15 years and how they were more determined to move on. And did I mention that Ben is a superstar? I'm totally looking forward to the BBQ.

My apologies for the brevity of these comments but I've been called to the office on Sunday night!

[tazraven]

Oooh, *bounces up and down excitedly* an update! Hi Cam

Great update. We otthe other sideof the conversation from last chapter and they worked through a ton of baggage. This part had me smiling so much I thought my face would break.

“Wait. I’m important or I’m a process?”

“Important, smart ass,” she laughed, before her eyes took on a more serious regard. “I’ve never stopped…caring, you know.

I dunno why. I guess it was just such a happy change for them, with the working through issues and the joking instead of badness.

“Does the sweater still fit?” she asked with a crooked grin. I squeezed her hand.

“It does.”

Yay! It stll fits and they can work through all of the years of horrible non-contact and the awkwardness of the pst few days and just everything. I'm so happy. In fact, I'm happy enough that I'm worried. I don't want to say it was easy, but it wasn't hard. I mean, I knw the years spent apart more than accounts for any angst, but still. Maybe it' because they are so meant for each other. I can only hope that this is the start of happiness, and not a hiatus from the evil. Now the last quote, I promise.

“Our friends are insane.”

I know it was just grammatically correct phrasing, and not that big a deal in relation to everything else we’d discussed, but hearing her say ‘our’ practically sent me into a swoon.

Just made me smile. I love happy Willow. Once again, great chapter Cam. Can't wait for more.

~Sara

[Willowtree252]

Ok maybe not a cliffhanger but very close I love it and I am glad Willow is getting a divorce. He seems like a nice man but the girls are in love now I can,t wait for more

[dlline]

Cam! This was a fabulous update. I want to touch on a couple of things, and then hit the overall stuff.

Whatever she asked, I would answer truthfully. What she didn’t ask I would offer. If there was any hope for a future together, it had to be based on trust.

Good girl, Dr. Rosenberg! I admire this out of her, this level of maturity. She knows she fucked up and wants to make it right. That’s cool.

I said I wished I had a time machine so I could go back and beat the crap out of myself.

This just made me laugh. I’ve felt like that a time or two myself.

Well, again this was a great update. I’m far to immersed in the badness of my own story to take any of this at face value. Since I don’t know your proposed story length here, I don’t know whether to expect badness or not. I vote enthusiastically for no badness. OK?

Keep up the good work… its just wonderful stuff so far.

Diane

[db]

Hey!

Update! Yay!!!


First - I am glad that you put in Willow's version of the conversation with Ben, it made so much more sense! I am a little confused though, 'cause Ithought theirs was a marriage of convenience, and it seems like news to him that Tara even existed. Were they in a sexual relationship at any point or was it just friendship or... I am confused??? I mean I know where they are now because it's clear that they never spend time together and he seems so ok with the 'lets get a divorce' thing, and I guess it doesn't really matter where the were before (except to clarify things in my mind).

Next.

So much of what had gone wrong before had been because of my fear: of not being needed, of her leaving, of losing control.[br]
The irony was that those things might not have happened if I’d just been more trusting and open with her. I was determined not to make the same mistakes. Whatever she asked, I would answer truthfully. What she didn’t ask I would offer. If there was any hope for a future together, it had to be based on trust.[br]

Yes. She got it! She gets it. I want to give Willow a big old bear hug! Plus which, she's right. Exactly completely and totally right. *deep sigh* Thank God!

I particularly was, well delighted isn't the right word, Relieved? Happy? Pleased? Anyway, the conversation they had was good. Good content, good interaction, good honesty, good feelings! Where was this realization months ago? Years ago? Yesterday? Whatever, I'll take it. Today Willow knows that she has to start with honesty ...and they clarify all the angsty missunderstanding ness of Leslie and how Willow thought she'd lost her chance and how much it hurt to have Tara date someone else (And really, how could Tara have possibly not known it would hurt Willow. I want to look Tara in the eyes and raise my eyebrow at her and give her a *look* -- *she* certainly never clarified things with Willow.... and it hurt Tara when Willow got married years later. Just sayin'). Glad to know that Tara gets a wee bit of a seat in the dumb dumb chair too. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that Willow admits that Tara did the right thing by leaving (and she did), but I am glad that Tara apologizes about Leslie too.

We talked about that night before graduation, bridging the distance on the couch and just holding onto each other as we realized what had happened. We cried until we laughed, ‘cause really…how stupid were we?

*sigh* Thanks for the long talk... just like I wanted .

What else do I want to say... 1) Willow joke about being a 'process' is cute.2) Tara's admission about wanting to try is wonderful and heart melting 3) Willow's comparing finding Tara to finding a sweater is such a fabulous and acurate characterization of Willow foot-in-mouth babble speak! It made me giggle. And this:

“Does the sweater still fit?” she asked with a crooked grin. I squeezed her hand.[br]
“It does.”[br]

Sweeeet. What a good thing to have them talk, and be so honest and *not* end up making out like teenagers... 'cause they aren't teenagers anymore. The talk was so.... loving and forthcoming. I loved it. I also thought it was very cool that you repurposed the entropy speech to this story. I always found that reuniting in canon buffyverse to be a bit forced and premature (don't get me wrong, I cheered along with the best of 'em but... you know Tara was right about it needing time). I am glad that they are giving that thought some real consideration this time... and ok, now I want smoochies .

And last, but not least (ok, maybe least, but still noteworthy) The Anya/Xander 'our friends are insane' dialogue was funny and smart and right on the money (plus the perfect transition to the BBQ, which I hope is what's coming next).

Ok! Cow me!

db

eta : It just dawned on me that the whole 'finding a sweater' converstion is a shout out to "The Body' episode. Which is cool, and very sweet!

[teenwillow]

im loving this fic , you write really well and i love the way you have each chapter as one of their points of view . i also love the way that you write and portray each character . keep writing!!! cant wait for the next update!!!

[sadie]

Awww OK maybe it was only slightly cliffhanger-y I take it back!! This update was so nice I liked the talk, and I liked how it wasn't the same story told in Willow's view, but that it continued ánd changed POVs.

Very nice Looking forward to the neeeeext!!

[Emms]

Yes! *fist in the air* that was great and sweet and so romantical!

I'm glad you backtracked a little and let us in on Willow's convo with Ben... I think it gives us a greater look into her motive for divorcing him (I mean besides the obvious "i'm in love with Tara" motive).

And it was wonderful that they talked and said the things that needed to be said in that moment... they've forgiven each other for the things they didn't do right in the past, but more importantly, they've forgiven themselves.

I really hope the next step is kisses a gay love.

[diamondforever]

I can't believe I missed two updates. But happy! Yes! Although I find it scarily convenient of her husband...still, anything that brings the girls together makes me a happy camper! I love the tension between Willow and Tara, and I love how it's slowly being resolved at a believable pace.

Awesome job.