hello Rainbowmittens...
I see we've got everyone worrying about alot of different things... both good and bad... though this little scene won't clear up the willow and tara question... it might shed a little light on the subject...
hope you enjoy... hugs to the puddle... kathleen
“Dawnie said you’d come.” Tara’s voice was a whisper and the blonde’s blue eyes weren’t open but she addressed Buffy softly.
“Tara?” Buffy whispered as if she didn’t believe her own ears. “Of course.” She added in answer instantly.
“Did she get home alright? I-I-I think I must have been out of it when she left.” Tara slowly eased her eyes open, relieved to see that the room was dimly lit the glare in her eyes minimized.
“She’s all safe at the house.” Buffy nodded amazed that even in her state Tara was still worried about everyone else. “How are you doing? I hear you had a rough morning.” She reached to the ice bucket and poured out some cold water into a tall glass with a bendable straw. “You should drink.” She prompted holding it up to Tara’s lips.
“Thank you, I don’t even have to attempt to do the whole trying and nearly drowning myself thing with you.” The Wicca took a sip.
“Well you know bendy straws will save the universe and my mother would be horrified if I didn’t take care of you.” Buffy smiled softly as she thought of Joyce. Her mom would have been the perfect person to have around now. She’d know how to make Willow feel better with just a look and she’d be the first on the list for all night Tara watch. There was a sadness that came with her thoughts but a pride as well.
“You make her proud I’m sure.” Tara smiled softly as she leaned back into her pillows away from the glass.
“We lost her to a brain tumour almost two years ago.” Buffy admitted softly as she put the glass down.
“Oh I’m s-s-s-sorry.” Tara looked up her blue eyes sad.
“You were great when it happened.” Buffy reassured her. “I don’t think I ever thanked you for that.” She admitted feeling so horrible now that she realized she hadn’t.
“I maybe guessing but something tells me the relationship we share doesn’t need thanks.” Tara shook her head gently.
“You’re right.” Buffy released a worried breath. “Do you feel better than you did?” She checked.
“The pain’s still there.” Tara replied introspectively. “But it’s better, more manageable almost like its being controlled by something.” The blonde shook her head. “That sounded crazy doesn’t it.”
“Madalene.” Buffy regretfully admitted the fact. “She’s been doing a cleansing on you all day to help.”
“Really?” Tara looked a little troubled.
Buffy wished it could be her that was helping but being able to stake a vampire wasn’t helping right around now.
“It’s okay... you like magic... well good magic and that’s what she does.” Buffy tried to calm her worry.
“You know I hear you say words like magic, and I know inside that normal people would be like, ‘Magic’ and frown.” Tara gave a small smile.
“We’re not really your normal people.” Buffy flexed her jaw.
“H-H-how did you lose me?” Tara suddenly asked in a low whisper.
“You were... oh my.” Buffy’s face clouded in pain.
“I’m sorry, no Buffy don’t answer.” Tara shook her head her eyes creasing slightly in anguish as she obviously caused the Slayer pain.
“No, we were fighting these three idiots, they were trying to use magic, demons and technology to do all kinds of bad things. I put two of them in jail but the third one came and shot us. He didn’t even know you were up with Willow, I didn’t know you were up there.” She looked up answering slowly. “It was a stupid stray bullet.”
“Willow.” Tara whispered one word from Buffy’s sentence as her blue eyes flared open wider. Her brain seemed to contently take the other facts without question but the name, the single name made her thoughts tumble into worry though she couldn’t explain exactly why.
“Do you remember her?” Buffy realized now she’d totally blown her own internal ‘don’t talk to Tara about Willow yet’ rule and there was no going back now.
“Sh-Sh-She has r-r-red hair doesn’t she?” The blonde’s lip trembled as she forced herself to answer.
“Yes.” Buffy jumped on it immediately.
“I remember red hair and green eyes.” Tara’s brow furrowed as she tried to focus her blurred mind. “And hands.” Struggling she lifted one of her hands from the mattress looking at it, slowly turning it over and over. “She has tiny hands.”
“That’s Willow.” Buffy reached out softly putting her hand on Tara’s arm. “Don’t force anything.” She urged softly as she saw the struggle in Tara’s face. “You could never forget Willow, you’ll remember.”
“I…” Tara closed her eyes for a moment before they suddenly flared open again. “Ahhhh, ow! ow!” The blonde pushed back against her pillow, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip as her back arched off the mattress.
“What, what?” Buffy jumped up scanning for what the problem was.
“Leg.... hurts.” Tara strung the two words together before burying her head sideways into the pillow.
“Leg...” Buffy pulled the covering off the blonde and instantly noticed left calf was bent up with the muscle locked. “Cramp.” She seemed to inform herself as she encased the problem in strong hands and began to massage it.
Tara kept her body taut for a long moment, but then began to relax as the pain began to dull down with Buffy’s attentions her breathing becoming more and more even.
“That’s it, just try to relax.” Buffy encouraged as she massaged the length of her calf.
“That feels good.” Tara smiled softly as she felt the blood circulation to the limb even out and she wiggled her toes under the blanket something she hadn’t been able to do before that.
“I think we can safely say that muscle has woke up.” Buffy smiled back as she finished and put the blanket back across the blonde’s body.
“If that’s the way they’re all going to tell me, they can stay asleep.” The Wicca smiled again.
“When you’re feeling up to it we can run you a hot bath, that might ease some of them into it.” Buffy offered as she sat back down.
“That sounds a little adventurous.” Tara admitted feeling daunted by anything that didn’t involve just laying in bed.
“When you’re ready.” Buffy underlined gently so that she didn’t worry. “I can bring you a change of clothes if you wanted tomorrow.”
“Now that sounds like a good idea.” Tara nodded as she brushed her hand over her silk covered stomach.
“Any preferences?” Buffy queered knowing she’d have to make a stealth trip to the boxes in the Magic Box that safely held all of Tara’s stuff. They hadn’t had the heart to get rid of anything with Willow unable to make the choices. After all something that looked unimportant to them might have been Willow’s favourite something, or so Dawn had argued.
“Well these are pretty.” Tara noted looking at her outfit. “Do I have lots like these?”
“You do.” Buffy nodded. “And I’m glad you like what we picked.” She smiled softly. “It was a huge worry.”
“I’m so-s-sorry I left you.” Tara frowned again her lip trembling slightly once more.
“Tara listen to me okay.” Buffy moved slightly closer her own voice thick with emotion suddenly. “That wasn’t your fault and the only thing that matters now is you came back to us.”
“Yes.” Tara agreed with a nod. “Perhaps Willow will bring my clothes?”
“Tara, there is a lot I need to tell you about Willow.” Buffy’s face fell as she sat back in the chair frowning hard.
“Oh God.” Tara began to shake. “Was she shot too?” For some reason the very idea of this caused the blonde to internally panic, her whole chest felt heavy as if she were pushed down by a great weight.
“No, she wasn’t shot.” Buffy waved with her hands trying to intercept the panic. “Tara things have happened but she’s still your Willow, no matter what.”
“Mine?” Fighting for her breath Tara focused on Buffy’s terminology despite the fear and panic welling up inside. Something was wrong with Willow, she could feel it and that fact made her want to get out of bed though she wasn’t sure what she could do.
“Oh I am so screwing this up aren’t I?” Buffy gave her a sad smile as she wiped at the layer of worried sweat that had broke on her forehead. “You and Willow are...” She began but stopped herself as something more appropriate struck her. “Soul mates.” She whispered.
The blonde shook her head as she let her soft blue eyes lose a little of their focus. For a moment images rushed by behind her eyes at such speed they blurred into one another, but the ones that made her feel good, made her feel safe, made her feel like she was the centre of the universe all held a petite woman with red hair and green eyes.
“We’re more than that Buffy.” Tara’s face transformed into a beatific smile as the residue of the visions settled softly in her heart.
“I thought that was pretty all encompassing.” Buffy looked up to catch blue eyes and smiled with her when she didn’t see anguish anymore.
“We did freak you out, didn’t we?” She asked the question softly though she didn’t truly understand her own terminology or reasoning.
“Just a little.” The Slayer laughed at herself as Tara picked the fact out of the air so easily. “But I got better and it wasn’t really a bad freaking.”
“Just a wow my best friend has a girlfriend kind of freaking.” Tara again wasn’t sure where her information readily jumped from but she could tell by Buffy’s reaction that it was making them both feel at least a little better.
“Exactly.” Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.
“But it’s Willow that’s your best friend, right?” Tara made an attempt to at least establish a few ground rules in her head.
“Yes, best friend of me since high school.” The Slayer nodded again with a broad smile.
“And Dawnie is your sister.” Tara stated confidently. “Wow at this rate I’ll remember who runs the country by the end of tomorrow.” The blonde Wicca gave an amused smile.
“Oh that you might want to forget.” Buffy laughed lightly.
“I won’t push hard for that particular detail then.” Tara laughed with her.
“There’s a lot we need to catch you up on.” Buffy admitted her tone going a bit more somber. “But you don’t need to be overloaded all at once.”
“There are just two things I need to have answered Buffy.” Tara’s tone also went very serious. The Slayer waited running her hands together in anticipation. “I need to know that my baby is okay, that she’s safe.” She added the second phrase for clarification of her term ‘okay’.
“Willow is safe.” Buffy nodded knowing in the context of the word she wasn’t lying and that Tara had purposely given her the basic Scooby level of meaning. “We took care of her just as you would have.”
“And the other thing is more of a request for confirmation.” Tara took what Buffy told her on board. She trusted that Buffy wouldn’t lie to her, not on that basic shred of information and as long as her Willow was safe they could work on the rest of this crazy mess.
“Confirmation on what?” Buffy waited a bit more worried by this line of questioning.
“I-I-I…” Tara stopped and took a controlling breath. “I don’t have a mother who needs to know I’m safe, do I?” She managed to ask in a whisper.
“I’m sorry.” Buffy shook her head, a hard frown pulling at all her features.
Tara shook her head trying to fight the wave of grief that washed over her but she was unable to stop the heavy tears in her eyes from spilling down her pale cheeks.
“I don’t know if this will help but there are so many people who love you and are going to be so overwhelmingly happy to know you’re back.” Buffy swallowed hard wanting to hurt herself for making the blonde cry.
“Thank you.” Tara whispered through her tears, her voice tight through unbroken sobs as she turned her face into the pillow and away from Buffy for a moment.
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."