Hi all, well i snook some time out finally and wanted to whisk the next part out to you all. Yours, B x
The Gift of Sorrow cont...
Tara became more aware of the individual powers involved to move each of her fingers as she drew them slowly over and over through the long dark hair that covered the cotton sheet over her lap. The whole arm still felt heavy and somehow ‘not hers’ exactly but at least each finger now worked. The same couldn’t be said for her left arm though. It still felt numb and heavy. A feeling that cascaded to envelope a large part of her left side.
Tensing her shoulders slightly Tara leaned back into the large mound of pillows that propped her into a semi upright position on the bed.
“The muscles will wake up slowly, don’t be scared.” Madalene’s voice soothed and ended the silence in the room. She was tucked up into a tight meditational pose on the other bed. “When you feel a bit stronger we can start exercises to help expedite the process.”
“It’s strange I think I should be scared.” Tara actually moved her gaze from off the sleeping teenager that was laid curled up beside and across her lap. “I mean I can’t feel most of my left side and my head looks like a piece of modern art from the inside. I don’t know who I am. I’m with someone who tells me they don’t know me and a very sweet young girl who seems convinced that she does know me.” She paused briefly still looking at Dawn. “I look at her lovely brown eyes, stroke her silky brown hair, and I feel something but I don’t know what or why.”
“If it is any consolation you shouldn’t remember anything.” The witch admitted. “It seems the tie you hold with these people is very deep.”
“I’m sorry I don’t mean to sound horrible but what are you talking about? You keep using words like ‘should’ and ‘this will happen’ and ‘in a while’. What’s happening to me?” Tara shifted her head as best she could to look at Madalene.
“You came back from the dead.” Madalene whispered her eyes soft.
Up until that moment Tara’s cheeks had held a slight red tinge but as she realized what she was being said the colour drained instantly.
“I’m s-s-sorry, what did you say?” Tara whispered her voice shaking her hand stopped its move through Dawn’s hair.
“Don’t be afraid.” Madalene moved over closer. “I know the panic you feel right now, but nothing that has happened is unnatural or wrong. It is your birthright.”
“If I was dead and now I’m back, it’s wrong.” Tara looked up meeting Madalene’s eyes. She shook her head desperately trying to make her legs move.
“Then we’re both wrong and I don’t feel wrong.” Madalene put a hand on Tara’s shoulder. “And if it is wrong then our family has been wrong for thousands of years.”
“Family?” Tara frowned harder the expression pulling at the corners of her tired jaw. “You said you don’t know me. How can you be family?” She could feel her body break into a light panicked sweat.
“Distant cousin.” Madalene reached to the side table and picked up a towel to dab Tara’s forehead. “I’ve had all this happen to me Tara that’s why I came to you. To help you understand.”
“Had what happen?” Tara asked not having the strength to move away from the towel or the comfort it brought as it wiped the hot sweat from her skin.
“The healing.” Madalene made sure her voice never went above a gentle purr. “We need you to focus on gathering your strength. Then I can explain everything.”
“Tell me something.” Tara dropped her gaze to the teenager who still managed to be asleep on her lap. Madalene pulled back the towel and waited for her to continue. “Dawnie, Buffy…” She said the only other two names she knew. “Did they know that I was going to do this?”
“They thought they had lost you forever.” She shook her head.
“And I shouldn’t remember them.” Tara asked for the clarification her voice loaded with confusion and sadness.
“As part of the healing you shouldn’t.” Madalene knew that with the jumbled state of her mind this was more than too much for Tara to understand. “The healing has evolved over time to take our memories from us so that we don’t remember what we have gone through. In the beginning the person would remember everything accept being in hibernation.”
“I see.” Tara’s voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper. “How long have I been gone from them?”
“Just three months.” Madalene knew she couldn’t hide anything from the blonde if she wanted her to fully recover.
“You’re wrong.” Tara’s tone suddenly changed, as did the look in her blue eyes.
“Wrong about what?” Madalene’s brow furrowed.
“You said nothing was wrong.” Tara shook her head again. “But something is wrong.”
“What?” Madalene leaned in concerned. “Is there pain? Do you need something?”
Tara closed her eyes momentarily trying to listen to Madalene’s voice.
“Yes, yes there is pain.” Tears sprung instantly to her blue eyes and she squeezed them tighter to make small tears pool at the outer corners.
“Where?” The witch felt her stomach tie into a knot. She should have insisted that Buffy give them time, letting Dawn see her was a complete mistake. There was too much overload going on and it wasn’t helping anyone.
“Such pain.” Tara’s face crumpled into a visage of anguish and desperation as tears fell hot and fast down her cheeks.
“Please tell me.” Madalene moved slightly sideways down to her knees beside the bed. “I’ll do what I can.”
“I don’t know.” Tara admitted grimacing more as flair after flair of pain shot through her.
“Where does it start?” Madalene reached up softly putting her hands on Tara’s arm.
Pushing her leg down into the bed sharply in an attempt to tense herself and pinpoint the pain inside her, Tara knocked Dawn off of her and sent the dozing teenager toppling to the floor
“Tara?” Dawn’s voice automatically called for the blonde as she landed on her hands and knees on the floor. Her disheveled head poking back up with a scared wild look on her face.
‘Please tell me what is it.’ Madalene narrowed her eyes and pushed her thoughts into Tara’s cloudy head. It was a difficult thing to try with Tara only awake for a few hours but she knew that if she could reach her the closeness might bring comfort.
“I can’t.” Tara’s reply was tiny as the blonde shook her head reeling from the resounding sound of Madalene’s voice inside her thoughts.
“Madalene what’s wrong?” Dawn pushed up further.
‘You can control it, think of it as a radio. You can tune in what you want and turn down the volume.’ She tried to offer guidance as she held a hand up to quiet Dawn.
“C-C-Can’t! There’s just too much pain.” Tara breathed out and slumped into the pillows unconscious.
“Tara.” Dawn pushed herself up onto her knees more or less throwing herself towards the blonde. She put her hand to Tara’s clammy forehead. “Tara! What’s happened? What’s wrong with her?” She turned with wild scared brown eyes to Madalene demanding instant answers.
“She needs time.” Madalene breathed out hard as she pushed off her knees and went to wet the towel she’d been using to mop Tara’s forehead.
“What do you mean needs time? She’s in pain, she said it hurt, you didn’t tell me it hurt. We should give her pills.” Dawn flustered.
“No pills.” Madalene shook her head firmly. “This will be difficult Dawn but we need to let things settle on their own. Pills will not help.”
“Why does it hurt?” Dawn demanded more.
“Look we have to do this right now please get me the crystals out of the drawer.” Madalene couldn’t keep the tightness out of her voice. She carefully laid the cloth over Tara’s head.
“Do what? What’s happening?” The teenager slowly got off the bed.
“Dawn, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap.” The witch slumped her shoulders for a moment. “Tara’s body is waking up and as her body wakes up so is her mind. Now for a reason, I can’t understand, her memories are waking up as well.”
“Her memories are hurting her?” Dawn tried her best to understand as she leaned over and pulled the drawer open.
“Dawn have you ever watched those commercials on MTV that go by at a million miles a minute?” Madalene moved to the window and pulled the darker blinds over.
“They make me feel kinda nauseous.” The teenager admitted.
“Well imagine them playing in the back of your head on extra high speed.” Madalene gave her a soft smile as she held out her hands for the crystals that Dawn had retrieved. Dawn handed the three small crystals over that had been sitting in an open box inside the drawer.
“Is that what’s happening?” She looked at Tara’s face her eyes etched with sympathy.
“Yes.” The witch went to position the crystals around the room to form a triangle that pointed out the window. “I will help her focus them down until she can control it herself.”
“But if this never happened to you how can you help?” Dawn didn’t quite understand the spell casters logic.
“Because I am a witch.” Madalene checked the placement. “Can you go on the other bed please?”
“NO!” Dawn suddenly shook her head her voice sharp and hard. “No magic.”
“Why?” Madalene looked up for a moment completely not having expected the reaction.
“Magic’s bad.” Dawn locked her jaw.
“Magic is all around us Dawn, it is simply a harnessing of natural power.” She shook off the teenager’s worry as she went to retrieve another crystal from her purse and moved towards Tara.
“It’s not natural.” Dawn stated a thread of anger visible. “I wont let you.” She stared hard at the dark haired woman.
“Dawn, why are you being so unreasonable?” The witch stopped. “Have I done anything to harm any of you? I am only trying to help.”
“I want to see your eyes at all times.” Dawn didn’t move.
“Why my eyes?” Madalene carefully placed the small shard of cloudy crystal on the blonde’s forehead.
“To make sure.” She explained without really making sense.
“Sure of what?” The witch continued to question.
“That you’re not going to hurt her or hurt anyone else.” The teenager held firm.
“Dawn if I wanted to hurt her why would I have gone to your sister?” Madalene countered as she stood at the end of the bed and pulling up at a thin cord around her throat pulled to reveal a sliver of a crystal attached to the necklace. She tied the cord around her head so that the crystal sat in the same place as the one she had placed on Tara.
“I just don’t like magic.” Dawn backed away a little.
“You might not like magic but it is our ally here.” Madalene closed her eyes for a moment as she centered herself and then opened her eyes again ready for the spell.
“So no one will get fried?” Dawn whispered as she finally eased up onto the other bed.
“I’m not a fan of fried, I’m a very strict vegetarian.” Madalene’s voice was hollow as a very soft light began to glow and interconnected the crystals in the room before the centered in on Tara and then finished on Madalene.
Dawn said nothing, she just silently watched as the witch worked.
by WiccansIllusion » Wed May 29, 2002 10:33 pm 
