Too Much To Lose

[tarebear]

another angst-filled update this one is... and from the way things are going, it's going to be angst-filled for a while...

i can't blame willow for not being the calm one during that conversation, but there definitely has to be one of them calm enough to get through a conversation or else all their talks (whether by phone or otherwise) will always end up like this... and if they let their pride and anger rule every contact they have, i don't see that they will ever get back together... a really scary thought!!!!

i hope this friend of tara's help her see the light so to speak and not add more spark to the fire already running out of control... if she's coming back home for the sake of the children alone, i think that would not be enough... it still would not work out in the end... she needs to find what made her fall in love with willow... she needs to find in her heart if it's still beating for willow and if it's enough to overcome every argument i'm sure they will still have in the future.

now that willow finally sees just how compassionate (NOT!) her boss is regarding her family affair, i hope she realizes that her family is more important than working for this snotty boss of hers... one question though, how could she have worked for her and not know about this side of her boss? maybe because she's been putting work ahead of everything else in her life that her boss has no cause to show her "other" side... anyways, willow has a brilliant mind that she could find work elsewhere i'm sure... one that doesn't need her to work too long or one which would allow her to work from home instead... she has to realize that there is more than just providing for her family especially with tara feeling neglected for a while because of it.

i hope this time away from each other will make them realize just how important the other is in her life and that they can conquer anything together if they're just willing to listen and not let anger overrule the love i'm sure there still is in their hearts...

as you can tell, i'm really into this story hehe! anyways... i hope to see more of this story soon!

[darkwillow6]

Hey everyone. I'm here in my CAL LAB class right now. I have a sub so there's at least an hour of uninterrupted updating. Lucky me! Anyway, I'll get on with the update and I'll try to work on Confused Passions when I get home. Later.

RECAP FROM THE LAST UPDATE:
"Look. I'm on my way to drop off Jason at school. We can talk about this later if you want to quit acting like a baby and come back to the house," Willow said.
"Fuck you," Tara said exasperated. She hung up the phone and fell back onto the bed letting her emotions get the best of her.

Once she had calmed down some more she went down to the front desk to check out of the hotel. After that, she drove to see a friend of hers. She really needed a second opinion about which action she should take next. Not only that, but she needed someone to spill her guts to. After a short drive, she pulled up to the red brick house and sat in the car for a few minutes before actually getting out and approaching the front door.

***************************************************************February 15th 2006

Slowly, she raised her hand to knock. She was now beginning to feel unsure. She hadn't visited in such a long time and now she was coming to place a giant burden on her. As she hesitated, the door opened and the woman stopped in her tracks. She had just been heading out the door and did not expect to see Tara standing on her doorstep.
"Tara! Oh my gosh. It's been so long," she said hugging Tara.
"Hey Kim. Sorry I haven't visited in a while. I've been kinda out of touch with everyone lately," Tara explained.
"That's alright. Hey, I'm going to go get some coffee. Why don't you come with me and we can catch up. Sound good?"
"Sounds great," Tara replied.

It wasn't long before they had arrived at the small coffee shop. It was only a few blocks away and it was a nice day so they decided to walk. It was a fairly quiet walk. Tara preferred to bring up the serious stuff once they were finally at their destination. They took a seat near the window and each ordered a coffee.
"So what made you decide to finally come visit me?" Kim asked as she set her bag down beside her.
"Well, we haven't talked in a while. I used to visit you at least once a week and I've missed you," Tara replied.
"Why didn't you bring the kids along?" Kim asked.
"Well, I haven't exactly been at the house since yesterday morning," Tara revealed.
"Oh. Is everything okay?" Kim asked. The concern was evident in her tone.
"Not really," Tara began. "Willow and I are having a really bad argument. I don't know if we're going to come out of this one," she finished quietly.
"Oh Tara. I'm sorry to hear that," Kim replied sincerely. "Do you need a place to stay?"
"I couldn't ask you to~"
"You're staying with me," Kim interrupted. "For however long you need."
"Thank you," Tara said simply, but conveying her deep gratitude nonetheless.
"So what is this all about if you don't mind me asking?"
"Her job. It seems like something so simple, but it's taking over her life. She needs to understand that family comes first. I can't live like this. She's always gone. The kids aren't even going to know who she is if this continues much longer. I'm trying to get her to realize that, but instead of listening to me she just turns it around so that I'm the bad guy. She's saying that I want her to quit her job so that we can all live on the streets."
"That's a horrible thing to say," Kim said softly.
"I know," Tara said trying to hold back the single tear that threatened to fall, dragging many more behind it. "I'm not trying to pretend that I'm entirely innocent. I've said things to hurt her before. It's what people do when they argue... but then they make up. For some reason this just doesn't seem like the kind of argument where an agreement can be reached. I don't know what to do. She said we'd talk about it tonight if I would quit being a baby and come back home," she finished.
"You're not going over there tonight," Kim said.
"I have to," Tara replied defeatedly.
"Why?" Kim asked skeptically. "She's not forcing you."
"The kids. I can't just leave them there."
"You don't trust your own wife with your kids?" Kim asked in disbelief.
"Not lately," Tara replied.
"Well, she is their mother. I'm sure she wouldn't let anything happen to them." She paused. "If you go over there tonight then nothing will be solved."
"What do you mean?" Tara asked.
"It's too soon for you or her to be able to make any kind of compromise. I figured that you of all people would know that. You've been together for longer than anyone else I know... which leads me to believe you've had arguments before."
"Never like this," Tara assured.
"Well you still have to handle this like you would any other disagreement. Your relationship depends on it. Just trust me. And don't let her make you feel guilty when you call her and tell her that you're not coming tonight. If she uses the children against you don't listen. Just make sure you stand your ground. If your not there then do you think that she's going to be able to go to work? She's going to have to watch Alexis. She's going to be forced to spend time with the kids. I know it sounds bad, but it will open her eyes. She'll see what she's been missing during all that time she was away," Kim explained.
"How did you get to be so wise?" Tara asked half-jokingly. Kim just shrugged her shoulders. Soon they finished their coffee and went back to Kim's house to talk some more.

Willow was just already back at the house after dropping off Jason and she was just rocking Alexis to sleep after her lunch. She leaned back on the couch and tried to let some of the stress of the last twenty-something hours wash away from her. She looked down at her baby and suddenly got lost in thought. Her mind took her back to the times when she and Tara talked about having a family of thier own someday. Secretly, WIllow didn't know if that would ever happen. She wasn't sure if she could ever go through with something like that. She hadn't had much experience with children, but somehow she knew that it would be easy with Tara there to guide her. When that time came to make the decision she did not even hesitate. What had become of her now though? Instead of taking care of the children, she left them all alone in the care of the more capable mother while she left for most of the day to make an obscene amount of money that was at least twice the amount that they needed to survive on. She could be spending much more time with her children. What could she do though? With the job she was in now she either had to work all the time... or not at all. That is what she feared the most. There was so much riding on her and sometimes Tara just didn't understand. Maybe someday she would... if there was a 'someday' to speak of. She sighed.

**************************************************************************************
That's it for now kittens. Be on the lookout for the next update. Later.

[darkwillow6]

Thanks for all the great feedback kittens!

[For The Love of Tara]

I can't help but wonder how this is all going to be resolved... (please say it will be!) But I'm really enjoying the story and can't wait for the next update. Keep up the good work.

[AlysonGoddess]

This is kinda depressing i dont like willow and tara fighting! What about the kids? Im guessing Tara would take them but wont she let willow see them? cuz thats just plain rude. I mean even tho she has to work a lot tara could till manage to let her see the kids. Well i guess im getting a little ahead of myself because they arnt exactly broken up yet. I just hope it works out between them and they get on with the But i really do like the angstyness im an angst freak. but if you wouldnt mind please update soon!!!!

Erin

[love_2003]

i love this story so far. i really don't like all the angst right now, but know that it is necessary in order to get to the . i am patiently waiting for the next update.


love_2003

[CrazyTaraWitch]

sad

[Emms]

Wow, the angst in this fic is palpable. I’m hoping for happier times soon. Good job.

xoxo
Emms

[WillowRulez]

I am really curiosu as to how you will resolve this. It's not only Willow's fault, I hope it won't only be her giving in with her job.
But I agree completely with Kim: if Willow spends time with the kids, is forced to realize how much she depended on Tara to play housewife, she will hopefully see, how much she needs tara. And not only for the kids. But as a partner.
Hope we will see more soon!

[mag]

after twelve years this was going to happen, they need this to happen to begin again in another point of their relartionship like a new couple but with children, and like kim said, willow has to see that she has children too and they need her attention, not just tara,and if willow doesnt want her family them she has to tell this to tara and over this sooner than later, but I can see that willow love her family and maybe she can make work this and dont let go of tara and her children. Maybe tara is holding all the weight of the house thing, even her son and daughter, maybe tara just need a little help and attention from willow.

just a little time from willow and maybe not just in a total sexual way like willow is feeling, maybe a quality of time.

but you know i can see that willow is going to get fired, and then i don know what she would do maybe you can write something for that??

see you soon

mar

[darkwillow6]

Hey kittens! I got some free time on my hands. I'm in webmastering right now. I should be doing something with Photoshop right now, but I'd rather write you guys an update. You know I love you kittens! Anyway, hopefully this update won't make you cry. I want them to stay together. Maybe mag is right. Maybe they just need to spend some more non-sexual time together. We'll see what happens. On with the update!

***************************************************************February 24th 2006
RECAP FROM THE LAST UPDATE:
...She could be spending much more time with her children. What could she do though? With the job she was in now she either had to work all the time... or not at all. That is what she feared the most. There was so much riding on her and sometimes Tara just didn't understand. Maybe someday she would... if there was a 'someday' to speak of. She sighed.

When she finally came out of her thoughts she looked down to see Alexis fast asleep. Instead of putting her up in the crib, though, she just held onto her for a little while longer... almost in wonder. This baby was so beautiful. She could hardly believe that she had contributed half of the DNA for her. She really was a miracle... 'just like Tara,' she thought. Maybe this fight was stupid, but maybe it wasn't. How would things ever be resolved. Was it right for Tara to make her work somewhere that she wasn't happy? But why was she doing it? To make Willow spend more time with her and the children. Something about that didn't sound right. She felt guilty. Should she have to be forced to spend time with her children and the woman that she's loved since the very first day they met? It was a sudden realization for her. She finally understood just what Tara needed from her and she was more than willing to give it to her... but her job. What choice did she have concerning that?

It was getting late now. She had to go pick up Jason now. She needed to go pick up Jason. She was overcome with a feeling of well-being. It would take time, but she knew that everything could be okay now. All she had to do was talk to Tara... and Jason. He must be so confused, she thought as she got into the car and sped toward his school.

On the way she was fighting an internal battle. Should she call Tara or was it too soon? What exactly was she waiting for? For Tara to cool down? 'I always waste so much time deciding things. That's why it took us so long to get together in the first place,' Willow thought as she pressed the CALL button on her cell phone.

As she sat talking to Kim, Tara's cell phone rang. She noticed the name on the Caller ID and excused herself, hurrying into the kitchen.
"Hello?" she asked, already unwilling to go on with the conversation.
"Hey," Willow said so quietly that Tara almost had to strain to hear her.
"What do you want?" Tara asked, apparently still angry.
"I didn't know whether to call you or not, but I thought you were coming by to talk today," Willow said softly, not accusingly like she probably would have if she hadn't had her epiphany just a half an hour earlier.
"Yeah. I was. But only if I decided to 'stop being a baby,'" Tara said, using Willow's own words against her.
"I didn't mean that, Tara. I was upset. We both were. I understand that you're angry, but we do need to talk about this. I've been doing a lot of thinking today, and it's changed a lot of things for me." Tara didn't want to give in, but her resolve was crumbling slowly. She felt like it should be this easy. All it should take is an apology to make everything okay; but that wasn't how things were going to work right now. She needed to stand her ground if only to have it fall out from under her in a week. She was doing this for Willow just as much as for herself. Kim had made that clear to her.
"I can't talk now," Tara replied after her long silence. "I just need some more time," she continued.
"Okay. I'll be here. No matter what, I'll be here. I do love you, you know. Even if sometimes you don't feel like I do. I haven't been showing it lately, but I've realized that I'm wrong. I know that now. I can't lose you, Tara. I won't," she said nearly dissolving into tears as she pulled into the parking lot of Jason's school. She wiped her tears as he got into the back seat and put his seatbelt on.
"Just give me a week," Tara replied, seeming as though she didn't hear any of what Willow had just said.
"Okay. What do I tell the kids?" she asked quietly.
"Tell them I'm on vacation and I'll see them soon." Without waiting for a reply, she hung up the phone.
*************************************************************************************
Later kittens! I'll give you a longer update on Sunday when I get my laptop back. Leave me some good feedback to look forward to.

[darkwillow6]

Grrrrr! My updates keep posting twice. I hate this computer! Well, maybe that means the updates are twice as good. LOL. Just kidding.

[AlysonGoddess]

awww youre leaving us hanging like that? poor willow ..and i understand tara too but willows supporting the family and they need that job to be able to survive idk if tara realizes that but she should know that willow loves her and they need to talk! Ill be waiting anxoiusly for the next update plz update soon!
Erin

[WillowRulez]

I wish Tara would realize that Willow might have been neglecting here but what's her choice really? Quit the job? I think so. I doubt that it would take her long to find another one. I like that Willow called Tara to tell her that she loves her. That was very important.
Great update! Please write more updates when you're not suppose to
ETA: Ohmy, did I use that word??? W-I-S-H?? Well... its written. No harm done, right?

[Emms]

Tara's being pretty selfish, here. I can't believe that she told Willow to tell the kids she's on vacation and she'll see them soon. Doesn't she realize that Jason may be scared and that he doesn't fully understand what's going on? Good grief.......

xoxo
Emms

[CrazyTaraWitch]

:( it is tuesday and no chapter. please update soon

[darkwillow6]

Hola kittens. I'm keeping my promise. Here's an update for Too Much To Lose. Thanks so much for all of the comments on my story. I know some of you are reading this story as well as Confused Passions and I think that's awesome. I guess it means some of you really like the way I write. I love you guys. LOL. Anyway, here's your update.

RECAP FROM THE LAST UPDATE:
"I can't talk now," Tara replied after her long silence. "I just need some more time," she continued.
"Okay. I'll be here. No matter what, I'll be here. I do love you, you know. Even if sometimes you don't feel like I do. I haven't been showing it lately, but I've realized that I'm wrong. I know that now. I can't lose you, Tara. I won't," she said nearly dissolving into tears as she pulled into the parking lot of Jason's school. She wiped her tears as he got into the back seat and put his seatbelt on.
"Just give me a week," Tara replied, seeming as though she didn't hear any of what Willow had just said.
"Okay. What do I tell the kids?" she asked quietly.
"Tell them I'm on vacation and I'll see them soon." Without waiting for a reply, she hung up the phone.

********************************************************************March 7th 2006
"Was that Mommy?" Jason asked hopefully.
"Yeah," Willow replied simply. "She says that she misses you very much and she'll be home in a little while," she continued. Jason just smiled sadly. "So how was school today?" Willow asked in order to change the subject.
"It was okay. I played with my friend Jhonny in the sandbox at recess. We made a dinosaur."
"Really. That sounds like fun," she said. Then she paused to see if he would go on. When he didn't she asked, "What do you want to do when we get home? You wanna watch some cartoons?"
"No. I want to call Mommy. I miss her," Jason replied.
"I know honey," Willow said, thinking the same thing.

As soon as they got home Jason ran into the living room and dropped his bookbag by the couch and ran to the phone. He dialed Tara's phone number and sat patiently on the couch with a hopeful look in his eyes.
"Hello?" Tara answered annoyed. She noticed the house number on the Caller ID and thought that it was Willow again.
"Hi Mommy," Jason said, ignoring her annoyed tone.
"Oh. Hi honey. How are you? Did you have fun at school?"
"Yes. But I was sad because I missed you. When are you coming home?"
"Soon honey. Mommy's just visiting her friend Kim. I miss you so much baby boy."
"She wanted you to come over and play?" Jason asked. Tara laughed softly to herself.
"Yeah," she replied. Jason spent an hour on the phone with her before finally hanging up to go eat dinner. As soon as she ended the call, Tara began to cry.
"What's wrong Tara?" Kim asked, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder.
"My poor baby. He misses me so much. How can I just leave him there like that?" Tara said between sobs.
"I don't know what to tell you Tara. Maybe my advice won't work in you situation. You have different priorities. Maybe you should go back... but not until tomorrow. You've dealt with too much to go back tonight. Let's just have some dinner and then you can have a nice bath and go to bed."
"That sounds wonderful," Tara said, hoping that a little bit of an attempt at relaxation would help to make her mind more clear and rid her of some of the stess that she had been feeling. Could she really run from Willow forever? She had to face the music sooner or later. Why not sooner? Once this whole thing is resolved, there will be nothing left to worry about.

Jason sat at the table poking at his hamburger. He didn't seem to be very hungry tonight.
"Did you have a nice talk with Mommy, Jason?"
"Yes. I told her about school today and I asked her when she's going to come back," Jason replied.
"What did she say?" Willow asked trying to seem casual, but was internally desperate to know exactly when Tara would return.
"She just said soon," he replied dejectedly. "What if she never comes back?" Jason asked as a single tear made its way down his cheek. Willow went over and picked him up out of the chair. She held him close and wiped the tear from his eye.
"She's not going to leave us Jaon. Your mommy loves you. She would never abandon you. I want her to come back too. All we can do is wait until she's ready," Willow said assuring herself just as much as Jason.

After dinner, Willow took Jason upstairs and put him in bed.
"Sleep tight honey. Don't let the bedbugs bite. I love you." He whispered it back and was soon fast asleep despite his worry. Once the door was closed behind her, she ran her fingers through her hair and sighed heavily. She had never experienced anything like this and she didn't know what to expect. She had never seen this side of Tara and she hoped that she would never have to see it again once this was resolved. This was the first time ever in the history of their relationship where Willow was afraid that it may end.
'Not now. Not after everything we've been through. We have kids together. We've been through so many emotional obstacles. It can't all have been for nothing. I have to make things right no matter what. A job is not worth losing her. I don't care what job it is,' Willow thought to herself.

She began to feel that in some twisted way, this fight was good for them. It was a chance for them to air all of their grievences. One theory of Willow's was that the current fight was the result of many many little problems that got blown out of proportion. It couldn't all be about her job. Maybe Tara was having some kind of internal argument and she just needed to get all of the anger out of her system. That was definitely Willow; always looking for the brighter side of things.

Now she was curled up in bed with Alexis. She relived her entire relationship with Tara in her mind until finally, she fell asleep. This is exactly how Tara found the two of them at four in the morning when she arrived. She stood in the doorway for several minutes afraid to breath in case they should wake. She was so selfish that she had nearly left all of this behind. She had thanked Kim for her hospitality and her advice, but she couldn't spend the night away. She needed the comfort of her wife's arms. With that, anything would be possible in the morning, but only then. She promised Kim that her visits would not be so far between next time, and she would bring the family to visit too.

Slowly, she put one foot forward, hoping that the floor would not squeak beneath the weight. Ever since they had children, Willow became a very light sleeper. The slightest noise would cause her to come to full alertness. She held the baby tighter in her sleep. As the floorboard creaked slightly, Tara stopped. She didn't even take in one breath until she was sure that Willow would not wake until she wanted her to... needed her to. One more small step forward seemed to be such an unbeatable feat. As she set her foot down for the second time, Willow's eyes began to flutter open. She saw the dark figure standing before her.
"Tara?" she inquired softly, almost in disbelief.
**************************************************************************************

Sorry to stop there kittens, but it's already 10:30. I need to get to bed. Hopefully, I can give you a longer update tomorrow. I have a research project right now that's occupying a lot of my time so I can't promise anything, but I'd like to give you more ASAP. Keep on the lookout. Night kittens.

[Lindelaure]

Ahhhh I can't believe you left us there!
I love this fic, it's an amazing portrait of how things really go in real relationships. Even though Tara was being selfish and overreacting a little, Willow is willing to take the blame and rethink her life and job. That was nice of her. Please update soon!

[Willowtree252]

help i need more soon please you are a great writer and i need soon

[VixenyTarasHot]

ashley ashley.. what are you thinkin just stoppin it there..?

dont cha know we aren't the most patient of kittens?

Anywho... lets make the next one soon shall we!

Peace dude
Ashleigh

[WillowRulez]

Oh please update real soon! Such a cliffhanger. I am glad that Tara is back but maybe it was too fast? Guess we'll find out. I have faith in you

[darkwillow6]

Hey kittens. I hope you didn't hate that cliffhanger too much. It was past my bedtime. LOL. Don't worry. I'm updating today so it was only a one day wait. I would feel bad making you wait longer than that. So where did we leave off? Ah yes. Tara shows up and Willow sees her. It will be interesting to see what happens next.

********************************************************************March 8th 2006
Willow wasn't sure whether or not she should believe her own eyes. Maybe she was still asleep. This had to be a dream... but it felt so real. Tara made one heavy step after another, toward Willow. She was starting to second guess herself. What was she doing here? Was this really a good idea? She would soon find out. She searched frantically in her mind for something appropriate to say, but she was having more than a little trouble finding those words. Finally, Willow spoke first.
"Are you really here?" she whispered, afraid that she may not get the answer that she wanted to.
"I feel like asking myself the same question," Tara replied softly.
"Do you want to talk?" Willow asked.
"Let me just put Alex into her crib and I'll come back. We have a lot of talking to do," Tara said taking Alex from the bed and walking to her bedroom. Willow wiped her sweaty hands on her sleep pants and moved so that her back was leaning against the headboard. She was terrified of what Tara may say to her tonight. Her words would shape their entire future. Willow was sure that Tara was aware of the impact of her words. She would choose them carefully just as she always did.

While she was lost in these thoughts, Tara returned to the room. She seemed unsure of whether to take a seat on the bed or sit in the chair at the far corner of the room.
"Sit with me," Willow said as if she could see Tara's internal struggle. Tara walked slowly as though her legs were made of lead. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she struggled to breath through the thickness of the air between them. "I missed you," Willow said simply as Tara took a seat on the bed.
"I missed you too. It's been hard to stay away. That's why I'm back. We need to be adults and talk about this instead of running away and hoping that things solve themselves. It's just that... we need to listen to each other instead of being unwilling to compromise. Isn't that what a relationship is about? Compromise?"
"Well that's part of it, but if a relationship was only compromise, then nobody would think that it was worth it. I know what you mean though. I'm more than willing to find some way to make both of us happy," Willow replied.
"I hope you know that I'm not trying to make you quit a job that you love. I only want you to spend more time with the kids... and with me. I need your attention in a different way than they do. I need you to be there for me emotionally, but physically too."
"I know," Willow said, ducking her head. "At first, I didn't know. All I cared about was work. But while you were gone it forced me to realize all of the things that I was doing wrong. I miss so much while I'm at work. I don't want to be the kind of person that has to relive their childhoods on video tapes instead of my own memories. I need to be there with them now more than ever. I never would have realized that if you hadn't forced me to. You gave me the greatest gift that I could have ever gotten... our kids. And when you left, you gave them back to me all over again," Willow said as a single tear began to roll down her cheek.

Tara reached out a hesitant hand to wipe the tear away. Willow smiled and took Tara's hand in her own. She planted a small kiss on her palm and then held it tightly.
"I'm sorry I'm not there enough for you. I'm not going to let that happen anymore. I've decided to get a new job where I can work from home. That way I'll always be here," Willow promised.
"You don't have to go that far Willow. I would love for you to be here all day with me, but I was overreacting before," Tara replied, sighing.
"No you weren't. I was thinking about the situation earlier and I put myself in your shoes. What if you were never here? What if I had to watch Alex all day and take Jason to and from school by myself? I would feel like a single parent. I wasn't ever here. You were raising the kids by yourself. That's not what we agreed on when we decided to have kids. You were perfectly right to act the way you did... and it made me see clearer. I want to be here all day. I want to see you as much as I can and I want to make sure I'm there for you in all the ways that you need me to be," Willow responded.
"I'm happy you feel that way. For a while there, I was worried that things between us were too bad to fix. That's the last thing that I wanted for us," Tara said, moving closer to Willow. She rested her head on the redhead's shoulder and took a deep breath of relief.
"Me too," Willow replied. Tara looked up into Willow's green eyes and didn't move. "What?" Willow asked as Tara's gaze began to get to her.
"Kiss me," she pleaded. Willow's face became serious as she bent lower to meet the blonde's lips. She placed a feather light kiss on them before pulling away.
"I missed you," she said for the second time that night.
"Prove it," Tara said in a lust-filled whisper.

Willow changed her position so that she was now straddling Tara whose back was still against the headboard. She kissed Tara with such force that Tara had to gasp for breath once they broke apart. Slowly, they moved into a more comfortable position with Tara on her back and Willow on top of her. Neither of them had much patience now. Clothes were nearly torn in the frantic effort to remove them. With only a pair of pants left on Willow and a frustrating bra on Tara, the two were progressing quickly. Normally, they would draw things out and take their time, but sometimes they were just filled with so much need that it outweighed the satisfaction of foreplay. Tara brought her nails down Willow's back as they moved against each other rapidly. Willow gasped at the feeling of pain and pleasure. She knew that there would be scratch marks there in the morning, but she couldn't care less. Right now her thigh was applying intense pressure to the area between Tara's legs. She moaned with pleasure. Her simple moans made Willow's head spin. The fire in her lower stomach raged on and would continue to tear through her until it was smothered by the rush of her orgasm. She wasn't very far from that moment. Tara brought her hand between their bodies and, without warning, entered Willow. She gasped in surpise, but continued her motions. They each pumped in and out just a few more times before they were overtaken by a simultaneous orgasm. It was enough to blur their vision momentarily. Tara felt as though she may pass out, but she managed to return to her normal state after a few long moments of heavy breathing.

Both of their bodies were now covered with sweat and the anxiety and fear that they both felt a half an hour ago was nowhere to be found. Willow turned to her side and pulled Tara as close to her as she could. They both knew that everything was okay again. It was better than okay. They had resolved their issues and now there was no hidden stress or quiet rage between them. After they had come out of this, they knew that they would be able to take anything else that came their way. They hoped that nothing else would ever test them like this had, but it was a possibility.

They each wanted to say something- anything- to fill the stale and quiet air, but there didn't seem to be any kind of words to express the kinds of things that they now felt.
"I love you," Willow said, stealing a kiss from her nearly-asleep girlfriend.
"I love you too. So much," Tara mumbled before drifting off completely. Willow smiled so wide that her cheeks hurt. She hadn't been this overcome with joy since they first started seeing each other.

A knock on the door startled Tara from her sleep and made Willow jump as well.
"Yes Jason?" Willow yelled through the door.
"Can I come in?" he asked softly.
"Uh... one second," she said jumping out of bed and searching for her pajamas from the floor. She handed Tara hers as well. A minute later she opened the door for him. "What's the matter honey? Did you have a bad dream again?"
"No. I thought I heard Mommy. Is she back from her friend's house yet?" he asked trying to see around Willow into the bedroom. She moved to let him in and his face lit up as he saw Tara sitting on the bed. He ran over and jumped into her lap.
"Hi honey. Mommy missed you so much," she said, hugging him tightly.
"I missed you too Mommy. I don't want you to visit your friend anymore."
"Well I don't know about that, but how about I take you and Mom with me next time," Tara said smiling.
"Okay," Jason replied.
"You must not have missed me that much. You haven't even given me a kiss," Tara teased. Jason responded by giving her a peck on the lips. He threw his arms around her neck and held on tightly, refusing to let go.
"How about Mommy and I take you back to bed and tell you a story. Okay?" Willow asked.
"I'm not tired. I want to be with Mommy," he pouted.
"She'll still be here in the morning. You have to get some sleep. You have school tomorrow," she reasoned.
"Okay," Jason replied defeatedly.

They walked him back to his room and put him under the covers. Tara started telling Jason one of his favorite stories about a little boy who didn't have a family and was then adopted by a nice family. It sort of reminded Tara of her own situation. When she left her own family she had made another with Willow and she would not give them up for the world.

Once Jason was asleep, they went to check on Alexis before returning to bed. They were exhausted. They talked a little bit before they finally let sleep overtake them. It had been a long night and they both needed this rest more than they were willing to admit. Tomorrow, some men were going to come over to build an office in one of the spare rooms so that Willow could get started on finding a job. For now though, they snuggled together and reveled in the feeling of each other's warmth.

**************************************************************************************
Well, that's all I got for now. My power went out and I only have half of the battery left so I'd better go update Confused Passions before my computer shuts off. Much love. Leave feedback pweese.

[WillowRulez]

Awwww... grown-up talk and makeup sex. What a nice update
I am really happy that for once they didnt yell at each other and actually listened. Yippie! Willow really is going all the way with her work hm? Good solution! I also liked that Tara mentioned that going that drastic way wasnt necessary.

[Willowtree252]

yeesss more goodness soon please!!!

[darkwillow6]

Sorry kittens. This update isn't going to be a very long one. I got carried away on Confused Passions and spent too much time on that one. I'll make it as long as possible, but I'm starting to feel a little writer's block on this one. By the way, I'm now declaring this story 15 updates from finished. In just 15 more updates, this story will come to some sort of conclusion. Starting......... NOW! Also, thanks for all the great feedback guys.

********************************************************************March 9th 2006 (Update number 1 of the remaining 15)

The next morning, Willow's alarm clock went off. It was a Satruday, and for the first time in her life, she wasn't getting up to go to work. She hit the 'OFF' button and snuggled closer to Tara. The sun had not risen yet, but Tara was already waking up. She turned to face Willow.
"I think I can definitely get the hang of this," she said, kissing Willow on the lips. "Let's go outside and watch the sunrise," Tara said excitedly. She bounced off of the bed and made it halfway to the door before Willow stopped her.
"You might want to put something on first," Willow said. "Not that I mind, but the neighbors may not approve," she continued. Tara blushed and searched on the floor for her clothing from last night. She put it on in a hurry and dragged Willow with her. "Let me get my shirt on first," Willow said laughing.

Before going outside, they picked up Alexis and took her with them. They sat out on the porch swing and stared off into the distance. The wind slowly pushed the swing back and forth.
"So what made you decide to come back?" Willow asked out of nowhere.
"A whole bunch of things. This was a stupid argument to begin with. I mean, yeah I wanted you to be here and all, but I wasn't about to end out eight year relationship over it. It's hard for people to find the kind of thing that we have. I'd have to be insane to give it all up just like that." Willow just smiled as she heard this. She knew in her heart that it was true. There is nowhere else in the world that she would rather be than with her wife and her kids. Now she could experience the kinds of things that Tara had been experiencing all along. She couldn't wait.

Soon the sky began to change colors. The beautiful blue began to fade into the yellow and red colors that struggled to take over the horizon. It was something so simple and yet the two were mezmerised by it. They had been up for nearly the entire night and yet they had not blinked as they watched the darkness fade from the sky. The lifting darkness felt so familiar. It seemed like the one they were just coming out of now. Everything seemed to be so much clearer in the light of a new day. Life would be so much different from now on.

It was not long before Alexis stirred into wakefulness. She was comforted by the warmth of her mother's body and just looked blankly into Tara's eyes. A toothless smile crossed her features and she reached up a shaky hand to grab Tara's dangling hair.
"Ow," Tara exclaimed as Alex pulled harder. "Let go of Mommy's hair Alex. You'll turn it grey before you make it all fall out," she joked.
"I think I already see a few strands of grey here and there," Willow said, inspecting her scalp.
"If anyone here is more likely to have grey hairs, it's you. You are always so much more stressed out than I am. You should take yoga or something," Tara teased.
"You're so funny," Willow said sarcastically.
"I know," Tara replied. "That's why you love me."
"No it's not. I married you for your money," Willow joked.
"Well then you certainly married the wrong person for gold digging," Tara replied, laughing. Suddenly, they stopped and a serious air fell between them. That had been happening so much lately. Maybe it came with age. They were parents now. Maybe it was time that they became less like the teenagers they used to be... or not. Willow leaned in and kissed Tara on the lips quickly.
"Wanna go back to bed?"
"I'm not tired anymore," Tara replied.
"Do I have to explain to you why I want you to come to bed with me or should I just take care of things for myself?" Willow asked as a mischeivous smile crossed her face. Tara felt a familiar feeling rush into the pit of her stomach. She got up, still holding the baby, and followed Willow back into the house.
"Maybe we should take a shower," Tara suggested after Alex was back in her crib.
"I like your thinking," Willow said shutting the door behind them.

About forty five minutes passed before they finally got out of the shower. When they came out of the bathroom, luckily already dressed, they saw Jason sitting on their bed.
"Hi honey. What's wrong?" Tara asked.
"Nothing. I was just waiting for you to wake up so that I could ask you to make me some breakfast," he replied.
"Oh. Of course. What do you want?" she asked, hoping that it would be something simple. She had better things to do today than cook breakfast.
"Eggs," he said.
'Yes!' Tara thought to herself. "I think I can manage that," she told him. They all went downstairs and Willow started to cook.
"Are you sure you don't want me to do that sweetie," Tara asked, not entirely confident with Willow's cooking abilities.
"I got it. It's okay. I've been practicing," Willow assured her. "Just go watch some cartoons with Jason. He needs some Mommy time."

**************************************************************************************
Sorry kittens. That's all I can muster for the night. I still need a shower. LOL. Let me know what you think. Can you tell that I'm starting to wonder what to write?

[taraforever]

Darkwillow6,

First of all, congratulations for your amazing work. I love your fictions

If I'm right, we're Saturday in your last update, and if I remember things well, it's Tara's birthday (32 yrs old). Buffy, Anya and Xander are invited to the surprise party that Willow has scheduled with Jason, before Tara left the house.

Keep on doing your great job

More soon with the next updates

[CrazyTaraWitch]

yay! i've been so busy I missed the last 3 updates!
i like the way things are going, tho the story does seem to be reaching a conclusion *tear*

[darkwillow6]

Hello Kittens! Confused Passions is back on the board. Not that it was missing... I just couldn't see it on my computer. WIERD. Anyway, that's that. I'll have an update for both stories on Sunday.

ASHLEY

[AlysonGoddess]

yay loved the updates!!! i like the whole happiness thing but i kinda miss the angst :( but ill get over it cuz there happy so yay im glad everything worked out wonder whats to come.. plz update soon!!
Erin

[WillowRulez]

14 more updates to come? Yay! I was afraid you'd end the story now that they are back togehter... please dont do that
Willow making breakfast... awww... and watching the sunrise... more awwww. Too cute. Alexis seems to be a patient baby, I like that. Jason is a mommy's boy, hm? Can you blame him?
Fight that writer's block! The story's awesome.