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Part Seven
At five in the morning, Buffy and Donnie came downstairs to clean up. They were very surprised to see that Tara and Willow’s bags were still there. Donnie shrugged and sat down in front of the television while Buffy went to look for the two girls.
She found them outside, lying on the damp grass, talking animatedly. She decided not to interrupt, but watched them as they talked. Willow made a goofy joke and Buffy smiled to herself like a proud mother. She was so happy for Willow… who seemed more confident and happy than ever before.
Whether it was her home life, work life or love life, Willow had obviously undergone an enormous change. Buffy was intrigued. She stared at Willow closely, noting all the physical changes that she hadn’t noticed until then. Her best friend’s hair was a deeper red than usual, slightly longer and was curly. And her clothing style was different. It was still unusual, and uniquely Willow, but there was more effort put in. Her beaded skirt and low-cut top made her look older and striking. Her lips were accentuated with a soft gloss, and her green eyes shone.
She wished Willow was less secretive. Buffy told her friend every last detail of her own love life, yet Willow could only hint, blush and avoid the topic. Buffy had really wanted Willow to invite the guy she liked along to the dinner; she couldn’t wait to meet him. He’d obviously made a very big impact on her, and made her feel more confident about herself.
Buffy liked him already, even though she didn’t know a thing about him. She giggled at how vague Willow could be. She decided to name the guy ‘Josh’ in her head…and decided that he’d be a cute, blond doctor from the hospital. A really down-to-earth, sweet and funny guy. Buffy couldn’t wait to meet Josh now!
Wandering back into the kitchen, she found Donnie asleep next to the TV. She checked her watch and realised she’d been standing out there, watching Willow, for over twenty minutes. As Donnie slept, a trail of drool oozed from his mouth and slid down his cheek. Buffy looked at him with distaste and decided to go join Willow and Tara, who seemed to be having a great time.
“Hey guys, can I sit with you? It’s been a while since I’ve seen the world at 5am. It’s cool: all with the little flowers, dewdrops and sun risin’. ”
“ ’Course you can sit with us, Buff.” The three girls smiled at each other.
“Great. Let’s have some girl talk. Tara, tell me some more about yourself. All I know about you is how you met Willow, at the…hospital.” She looked down, worried she’d upset the blond.
“Well, I’m twenty-two, I was studying English lit at uni and living on campus, but when I found out about mom’s illness I dropped out of the course and moved home for a while. Now I’m a bit of a bum…no job, studies, or life really.”
Buffy nodded. “How are you coping with the being at home thing? I still live here, full-time. It’s great, no rent or anything, but mom can get in the way sometimes…especially if I bring someone home, you know? I’ve had my share of ‘oh my god, kill me now!’ experiences, with mom walking in…and, yeah. Totally different to college, I guess.” She winked at Tara, hoping she would share some similar stories of being ‘caught in the act’.
Tara smiled at Buffy, but didn’t volunteer any information. Buffy took the hint.
Willow watched her new friend admiringly, wishing she too had the talent of skirting Buffy’s inquisitive mind. Tara could stop Buffy in her tracks with a simple smile, whereas Willow would ramble on for hours and still have to answer the question.
“So Will…how’s your life going, outside the hospital and all. Unless the life outside the hospital actually does involve life in the hospital…well, you know what I mean?” She thought about Josh, happily.
Willow gave her friend a strange look. “No, I don’t have a clue what you mean.” She and Tara had been speaking all night, on all issues…from Willow’s hatred of oatmeal cookies to Tara’s childhood obsession with being a postwoman. She had no idea what Buffy was referring to.
“The yummy guy you were telling me about…I don’t know much about him, but I figured you must have met him at the – hey!”
Buffy cut her sentence off dramatically, noticing the effect it had had on the two girls. Willow’s face was pale, she looked a little horrified. Tara was just staring at the ground, berating herself mentally for interpreting everything wrongly as usual.
“What’s the deal, guys? You both look like I just told you someone di…” she trailed off, realising how bad that sentence was, considering.
Tara inhaled deeply, keeping her eyes away from Willow’s, and then put her hand lightly on Willow’s bare shoulder. “I should probably go home and check on my father. I’ll talk to you later.”
She walked out without another look.
Willow ran to the bathroom, trying to hold in her tears.
Buffy felt guilty, but had no idea why.
***
“Ira, dear, come into my bedroom? I have something to discuss.”
Sylvester smoothed her hair and awaited her husband’s entrance. They’d been sleeping in separate room for the last few months, because Ira disliked his wife’s loud snores.
Her husband entered, his skin greyer than ever before. He’d lost four kilograms and a damn lot of hair in the last three days. All from worrying.
“Good morning, dear. I just wanted to let you know that Nancy, my friend, has some spare tickets for us.” Sylvester handed over an envelop to her husband, which he ripped open quickly. “You see, she booked these for her and her husband, but she’s going to be away, and she can’t get a refund. So she offered them to us. Isn’t that lovely!”
The capillaries in Ira’s eyes nearly burst as he read the information on the tickets. “Uhh, ‘Seclusion’? What is that, dear?”
“It’s a wonderful new health retreat, about forty minutes from here. We’ll be separated, but it’ll do both of us a world of good. You spend a lot of time having massages, a health spa, and meditation. Ira, you’ve lost so much weight and hair. This is a blessing for us!”
Ira couldn’t believe his terrible luck. “D-d-do we have to walk around in the nude at this place? Because…” he trailed off. Words couldn’t adequately describe what had happened to his lower region.
Sharon nodded briskly, trying to keep a straight face at her husband’s horrified expression. “Honestly, dear, you’re very prudish. I certainly hope Willow takes after my genes, not yours! Look, whether you like it or not, we’re going. I won’t take no for an answer. I checked our diaries, and we’re both free.”
She walked out of the bedroom to call Anya, leaving her shocked husband to stare at the walls in fear.
***
Liz had spent the entire night feeling guilty. As soon as Dawn had left she had begun to cry.
She knew Tara had been hiding something for a long time.
Her daughter had been shy and self-conscious for most of her life. No matter what Liz said or did, Tara tried to hide from the world and keep her feelings toward everything as minimal as possible. When Tara was seventeen, Liz awoke one day to find her daughter glowing with excitement and confidence. Liz knew instantly that her daughter had found love.
Liz tried not to be too inquisitive, giving Tara the room to tell her when she was ready. Eventually, Tara shared nearly everything about Sam. After three months, Liz asked Tara if she’d like to invite Sam for dinner, but Tara always managed to find an excuse, and Liz started to wonder what her daughter was hiding about her boyfriend. One night, she decided to find out.
She’d knocked on Tara’s door, and came in awkwardly. She sat down after several minutes, and smiled at her daughter. “What’s wrong, mom?” Tara had asked, worriedly.
“I just wanted to chat…and to let you know that I’m always going to be here for you. If you ever need to talk or, ask me something, or speak to me about anything at all, you can. I love you. I won’t judge you, or be angry or anything. OK?”
“OK.” Tara had been very embarrassed and nodded quickly, trying to get her mother to leave the room.
Two weeks later, Tara and Sam broke up and Liz was the one who held her daughter while she cried and cried. But Tara never told her what she’d been hiding.
When Dawn came into Liz’s life with her ability to enter minds, Liz knew she could finally find out the truth. She didn’t know why she wanted to know so badly what it was. Maybe because she could see how much Tara wanted to say, but was afraid to. When she finally got the chance to find out, she took it eagerly.
But now that she’d done it, secretly joined Dawn inside Tara’s mind, she understood how wrong her actions had been. She’d entered Tara’s secret place, her mind and heart, and experienced her deepest feelings. It was wrong enough that she’d given Dawn, a stranger, permission to see inside Tara’s mind. The fact that she’d done it herself was unforgivable.
As guilty as she felt, though, she couldn’t help feeling overjoyed for her daughter. It was clear as day that the red-head was in love with Tara.
***
Tara was listening to Sarah McLachlan’s ‘Take Your Breath Away’ on repeat. Tears streamed down her face as she thought about Willow. This was exactly the reason she’d tried not to get romantically involved with Willow, or even have those kind of thoughts about her. Now that she knew the truth about Willow liking some guy, she felt hurt and a little betrayed.
She shut her eyes, singing along to the lyrics, and letting her tears flow freely. She heard a knock at the front door and ignored it. There was no person that she could face at the moment; everyone seemed to only have bad news for her. Unexpectedly, she heard a ‘oomph’ sound from outside and a tap at the window.
Amazed, Tara wiped her eyes and turned to the window. To her astonishment, Buffy was sitting on the windowsill. She opened it quickly, careful to avoid pushing Buffy off the edge. “Wh-what are you doing here? How’d you get so high up?” Tara lived on the second floor.
Buffy shrugged. “Dunno. I’ve always been good with heights. Listen, Tara, can I come in?” She noticed the tear-stained cheeks of the blond, and felt all the more glad that she’d come to check on her.
Tara nodded, not caring any more. Buffy came quickly through the window and sat on Tara’s bed. She noticed the music, and the fifty or so used tissues all over the bed. “Tara, I know it’s not really my business why you’re upset, but I at least wanted to check that you were OK.”
“What time is it? And h-how did you get my address?”
“It’s 7am. I found your address and phone number in Willow’s bag. She’s sort of locked herself in the bathroom for the last hour or so, so I rummaged through her bag and came straight here. I thought about calling you, then figured you wouldn’t have wanted me to come over. So I came over, of course.” She grinned.
“Oh.” Tara wasn’t really listening to Buffy’s answer, but Willow’s name caused a new set of tears. “Buffy, I can’t really tell you about what’s wrong. I mean, it’s really sweet of you to come and check, but it’s sort of…between Willow and I.” Tara’s cheeks went pink with embarrassment.
Buffy stood up to leave, “Sure. I’ll leave you alone. Sorry about the…” She was reaching the doorway when everything suddenly made sense. She turned around and laughed delightedly. “Oh my god. Tara! You’re in love with her, aren’t you!”
“OK…so maybe this isn’t just between Willow and I.” Tara sighed, dismayed at having made her feelings so obvious.
Buffy almost ran over to the bed in excitement. “Tara, I know I can’t judge what’s going on. I don’t have the right to, and I don’t know anything about you guys or your feelings for each other. All I can tell you is about my part in it; what I said about Willow’s crush on that guy…look, I just made an assumption.”
She tried to rephrase her words. “Willow’s been really different lately. She has that confidence, that glow, that comes with…well, with love. So naturally, being me I teased her, but she still didn’t tell me a thing about it. So I kinda created an image of some guy in my head. But he’s imaginary, total Buffy-invention!”
She stared at the blond and took a deep breath, “Tara, for all I know, that ‘guy’ is you.”
Tara looked up slowly as Buffy’s words set in.
Buffy took this as a good sign and continued. “And there’s another thing in your favour. Do you really think that if she didn’t have feelings for you, Willow would have locked herself in the bathroom, crying? When you walked out of my place this morning, maybe you didn’t see Willow’s face. She looked ten times more upset than you did.”
Tara smiled for the first time that day. She wondered about the possible implications. Wondered if maybe she hadn't been wrong about Willow's feelings for her.
“OK I’m going out for the day,” said Buffy meaningfully. “Please feel free to visit my house,” she passed the blond a key, “and break the lock on the bathroom door, if necessary.”
She hugged the girl and then left.
Edited by: vix84 at: 8/27/02 8:58:42 am
I'll never watch that cartoon with an innocent mind again ... *leans on the pole next to Xander* 
at: 9/4/02 2:39:36 pm
at: 11/18/02 1:25:06 pm
yes, I agree that I’ve done something naughty, (“you have mixed the innocent sweetness of a kiddies program, the little mermaid, and mingled it with hot lesbian goodness”), but….well, it’s Willow and Tara. They’re yummy in any form! Even kiddie-themed porn. 
I'm trying to think of any Tanya's I've been thinking about...hmm) 