Author name: WannaFriendsBe
Email Address: zanypro@aol.com
Rating: PG-13 to R and maybe even NC-17 in later chapters (I'll always put clear Angst, R or NC-17 warnings beforehand)
Feedback: Yes please! But do be gentle with me this is my first ever fanfic - I prefer feedback here rather than by email.
Distribution: Anywhere is fine - but please let me know first.
Spoilers: Up to somewhere in season six then it's AU onwards
Pairing: W/T obviously, X/A, B/S(sort of?)
Disclaimer: I do not own Willow or Tara or any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer(BtVS) nor am I making any money off them - Joss Whedon, M.E, etc. are the owners - but this story is all mine.
Summary: This story begins just before Willow casts the forget spell on Tara and then it goes AU from there - so it's all good!!!
Note 1: This is my way of consoling myself and rectifying what I see as a great wrong in the BtVS show - I mean how dare they turn my dear sweet, smart, adorable Willow into (shudder) wonky Willow!!!! I mean dark magic junkie Willow? - what a dumb idea... (no offence meant, just my opinion)
Note 2: I'll try to update at least once a week though it may be more times if I decide on shorter updates and hopefully if y'all like this story...
Note 3: This may sound silly - but please bear with me, I know that quotes of a speaker should be encased in quotation marks("") but for some reason I find it very tiresome to do so - hopefully the story still reads okay without them....
Dedicated to: Amber Benson - such a wonderful, super talented and caring young lady(a lifetime isn't enough to say good things about Amber!). She inspires me to dare to try and achieve my dreams & she has a special place in my heart - and to think I haven't even met her (yet).
This story is also dedicated to Willow and Tara's love - a love as love should be - simply put it's the real deal & oh so caring.
Now on with the story - thoughts are in italics
Chapter 1
Willow watches as her fingers move slowly towards a twig of Lethe's Bramble, then all of a sudden she freezes and feels a chill run down her spine.
Oh God, what am I doing? She glances behind her and sees Tara lying down with her back facing Willow's side of the bed.
Willow Rosenberg what have you done and what are you doing? Do you want to lose Tara - is that it? Tara is right, I'm doing too much magic and worse it's upsetting her.
Oh god! - I was going to use magic on Tara to make her forget our fight - what's wrong with me? The fight was all my fault. How could I say such nasty things to my.....
Willow's head starts to swim with so many thoughts.
Magic makes me feel so special, special enough to be with someone like Tara.... but it upsets Tara so much and it's causing us to fight. Think Willow think - Oh no! I'm all wonky, I've gone all wonky! I need to..... Okay but first I must....
Suddenly Willow turns away from the chest of drawers she's standing next to and rushes over to Tara's side of the bed and kneels down facing her. Tara has her eyes closed.
Tara? Tara, I know you said you're tired and don't want to do this now but....
Tara who is still fuming from their fight and the hurtful things Willow had done and said to her, rolls over and once again faces away from Willow.
Willow's breath hitches and in a shaky voice she says - Tara? Tara please don't turn away from me... she waits but gets nothing, no reaction from Tara. A stricken Willow takes a deep breath and tries again.
Tara? Babe? - Please? I've gotta talk to you...
Tara opens her eyes whilst thinking Babe? Willow has never called me babe before and there's a note in her voice I've never heard before, I just can't quite put my finger on what that tone means...
Willow let's out the breath she was holding when she sees Tara turn and sit up slowly, while fixing the gaze of those beautiful sapphire blue eyes on her quite intently - eyes filled with such mixed emotions.
At this point Willow remembers vividly the horrible things she'd done to Tara, both at Xander and Anya's impromptu engagement party and at the Bronze when they were looking for Dawn. She couldn't believe she was the one who'd been so mean to Tara in the kitchen when Dawn walked in on them fighting. She had also ignored Tara and danced with the newly engaged couple instead and - ugh! the horrible things she'd said to her at the Bronze Rosenberg, you really need to do something - Tara deserves better than this.
Willow feels so ashamed - she can't look Tara in the eyes anymore, so instead she starts to fidget and babble. Er..., Um Tara, did I say I needed to talk to you? Uh well duh of course I did - and thanks for you know, turning back to talk to me - I need to..., I really need to tell you stuff and I'm..... Oh! oh! are you thirsty babe? What with my stopping you from sleeping when you're all tired and everything...(all the while Willow is talking, she flaps her hands about nervously while trying desperately to avoid Tara's eyes) - Shall I get you a drink?
Tara for her own part feels her anger start to seep away only to be replaced by anxiety - She called me babe again - what's up with that? And why is she acting all fidgety and strange?
For the first time since Willow interrupted her 'I want to sleep' act, Tara spoke up and starts to say in a firm voice - Willow, I'm not thirsty and why are you acting so....
Willow interrupts her - you're thirsty babe? You'd like a drink? Okay how about cold orange juice - yes? There's nothing like cold OJ at a time like this - you just stay right here babe and I'll get you some good old OJ.
With that said, Willow jumps off her knees and runs around the bed and through the bedroom door at top speed - leaving a stunned and speechless Tara sat in their bed.
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Willow flies down the stairs and runs into the kitchen but then skids to an abrupt stop when she finds Giles and Dawn still in the kitchen - much to her surprise.
Dawn was no doubt receiving severe grilling for her escapade that night - what with telling lies about where she was going and ending up parked with a boy who turned out to be a vamp that she eventually had to stake.
Willow sees Dawn giving her an imploring look whilst trying not to let Giles notice. Giles who had looked up from his conversation with a seated Dawn was now staring at Willow with a questioning look and a raised eyebrow.
Willow is quite wary of the Watcher ever since their huge row over the magicks she had used to bring Buffy back from the dead. So she nervously gives him a small apologetic smile, clears her throat slightly and says - Um, er sorry to interrupt Giles, I just need to... she edges herself towards the sink and grabs a glass from the drainer and then heads to the fridge and gets out a jug of OJ.
Whilst she poured out an almost full glass - Willow sensed the Watcher was watchfully watching her every move in exasperation and in her head Willow babbled to herself saying What's with all the alliteration Willow? - Uh oh! I did it again - O-kay it's definitely time to go.
Willow quickly returns the jug of OJ into the fridge, grabs the glass of juice and edges her way carefully around Giles who is still waiting and watching. As she nears the freedom of the kitchen doorway, Willow catches sight of Dawn still giving her imploring looks and she says - Sorry Dawnie, you're on your own - my baby is thirsty!
With that Willow flees from the kitchen, while Dawn gives a little smile over the fact that it seemed all was well with her world again since her two favorite witches weren't fighting anymore - that is of course until she remembered with trepidation and a gulp that a very angry Giles was still looming over her.
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Meanwhile in Willow and Tara's room a very perplexed Tara is still sat up in bed twiddling her thumbs anxiously whilst waiting for Willow.
A nervous Willow stands at her bedroom door a few minutes after she had left trying to calm and compose herself. She then walks into the room and tries to speak in a cheery voice. Here's the OJ you wanted Tara, sorry if I took too long - here drink, enjoy, it's good for you....
Rather than argue, Tara holds out her hand and takes the glass - God knows she now needed a drink to calm herself from the anxiety she's feeling due to the weird way Willow was behaving.
Willow settled unto the bed in a sitting position whilst glancing across at Tara with a look that is a mixture of being wistful and thought-filled.
As Tara drinks her orange juice, she watches Willow over the rim of her glass but from behind her eyelashes, trying surreptitiously to read Willow's facial expression.
Tara drains her glass, lowers it from her lips and then gently places it on her bedside table. Then with a look full of resolve and a voice that brooked no argument she says - Willow thanks for the drink, but now could you please tell me what you want to talk about? And no more stalling 'cos you're acting all weird and starting to freak me out!
As Willow opens her mouth to respond, Tara interrupts saying - I mean, I know we had a fight and it really hurt and made me angry...(at this Willow looks down in shame avoiding having to look at Tara)... but this weirdness from you is almost worse continued Tara.
At this last statement, Willow looks up and reaches out to take both of Tara's hands in hers and says in a very sincere voice - Tara, I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm so so sorry I caused us to fight and said such mean things to you. I mean there are better ways for me to.... Look Tara, I really need to talk to you but I have to think first.
Willow releases Tara's hands and then says - Yeah, I've got to think things through first so I can apologise properly and meaningfully and then sort things out from there.... You know what? Maybe I should go look for somewhere now to go think by myself.
To Tara's utter shock - Willow actually starts to get up off the bed - and that was the last straw for Tara. She grabs hold of Willow's hand tight and says - Don't you dare get off this bed Willow Rosenberg, again with the weirdness! You must be joking if you think I'm letting you leave me here to go off God knows where.
I mean, what is this Willow? What are you trying to tell me?
Willow gulps and then sighs - Look Tara, please just trust me - it's important that I think things through and process everything I want to say first. Willow gives Tara a pleading look.
Tara is practically fighting back tears now, Willow was starting to scare her with this weirdness, but she stays strong and hides her trepidation.
Alright fine Willow, you win - I can wait, but you are NOT going anywhere. Fight be damned! - you're gonna stay right here in bed with me where I'm used to having you every night and you're gonna hold me all snuggly-like till we both fall asleep and then tomorrow you're gonna talk to me - got it?
Tara suddenly runs out of steam and says with a little fear in her voice - that is if you want to be here with me?
At this Willow shakes herself out of her dazed and if she was to be honest slightly aroused state at having Tara speak to her in such a take-charge and authoritative manner. Meekly she says - of course I'll stay and want to stay all snuggly with you Tara.
That said, Willow gets under the covers and holds her arms open for Tara, and Tara quickly scoots down further under her side of the sheets whilst moving closer to Willow and resting her head on Willows silk-clad shoulder.
Willow cuddles Tara close resting her cheek on the top of Tara's head, and they stay like that for several moments trying to relax.
Tara feels her earlier tiredness start to take hold again, but before sleep can claim her, she looks up at the redhead and whispers - Willow? - Yes Tara? Willow replies - You promise to hold me all night and not leave me and that tomorrow we'll have our talk? Tara says in an almost childlike voice. I promise Tara, now go to sleep Willow replies trying to sound reassuring.
With that Tara closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep, while Willow stays wide awake reveling in her thoughts and the wonderful smell and feel of Tara in her arms breathing softly and evenly.
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TBC.
Questions? Comments? - yes please, feedback would be most appreciated and will help me greatly. Edited by: maudmac
![]("http://www.maudmac.com/smilies/alabama.gif"){kind=small}
at: 10/31/03 6:32 pm
I like the premise of the story. One thing though, I am not an English professor or anything (duh), but I have read a lot of English books and fic, heh, I must say I prefer the narrative parts to be in the past tense. I don't know how to explain it, but present tense distracts me and takes away the 'reality' of a story for me. I don't know, it just does not allow me to get into it. Maybe because I am not used to it.
at your sig!!!
WFB
~~**Monkey Luv**~~
s
more.
.
this is gonna be cool.
& regretting turning to Spike.
- she's so adorable 
