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Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room

Willow and Tara live happy together in a place untouched by Mutant Enemy. This is a forum for Willow and Tara Fan Fiction (i.e. fan fiction, top 10s, etc...) Please read the content advisories on individual stories, read at your own discretion.

Re: vote

Postby JewWitch18 » Thu May 08, 2003 11:01 pm

:eatme :banana :eatme :banana :eatme :banana :eatme



has anyone else been intrigued by the hopping banana's tag (eat me)? this whole dancing banana thing kind of reminds me of this joke I just heard-- two muffins are in an oven together, and one says, "gee, it's pretty hot in here." and the other says, "ahhh! a talking muffin!"



ahem. I would like so-real, pacific tides and futopia, please. and nine-west if you have time to squeeze in some horsey fun, nikki. I wonder if there's a horse smilie? :horsie



--jenny



BUFFY: Is this where I'm supposed to be quivering in my stylish yet affordable boots?

--Lisa Countryman, "Unexpected Consequences"

Edited by: JewWitch18 at: 5/8/03 10:02:02 pm
JewWitch18
 


Re: vote

Postby some dark thing » Fri May 09, 2003 3:46 am

Ah. votes!



ok, 7, 4, 3.



that's

-Futopia

-The Late Shift

-SO REAL,

right?



not that my votes were't obvious enough the way I pester you with the first two... :hmm heh. my apologies.

some dark thing
 


Re: vote

Postby Penrose Orleans » Fri May 09, 2003 7:52 am

Ooooh, update... what a way to start the day! I'll toss in my chips on Futopia-- second and third choices are for losers! ;) Oh boy, need to work on those early-morning social skills... --Nora

"Opinions and Fish.-- Possessing opinions is like possessing fish, assuming one has a fish pond." --Friedrich Nietzche, The Wanderer and His Shadow

Penrose Orleans
 


Re: vote

Postby xita » Fri May 09, 2003 8:23 am

I love how Willa is just risking everything to help Teresa and I am getting a feeling she'll come to believe in magic sooner or later!



I am casting my vote!



3

5

7



yay!

xita
 


Re: vote

Postby Grimaldi » Fri May 09, 2003 8:25 am

loved the update :banana :grin



Willa trying not to stare at Teresa's butt was funny



my votes are: Futopia, Pacific Tides, and So Real

I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps

Grimaldi
 


Re: vote

Postby Pippa » Fri May 09, 2003 8:29 am

Okay kids,



I'm revved to go in the creativity tank here...so I'll close the polls at noon today PST. So far it looks like Futopia strong in the lead, so real network (how long has it been since we saw them?), and Pac Tides coming in a close third.



You may not have time to save the world by noon...but you still have time to change the results of the Cataclysm Cafe Veiwing session!



(steps off soapbox)



I'll be running in the Revlon Run for Breast Cancer tomorrow...so the episode will be posted on Sunday.



Prepare yourselves...I'm feeling oddly frisky under this new guise....( That...and I just upped my caffeine intake):grin (oh, yeahhhh)



-wiccapippa (sounds like a 1979 VW Bug, yes?) "wiccapippa-wiccapippa -wiccapippa -wiccapippa ...

"Do you seriously expect me to tell the President that an alien has landed, assumed the identity of a dead housepainter from Madison, Wisconsin and is presently tooling around the countryside in a hopped up orange and black 1977 Mustang?" - Starman

Pippa
 


dancing bananas, hot muffins and Teresa's hotcross buns

Postby bananashake » Fri May 09, 2003 7:59 pm

I 'm partial to the dancing bananas (as my username would imply).

Hey, JewWitch18, I liked your muffin joke!:rofl

Another tantalizing update! This waiting is excruciating, but fun!

Heeeeeeeeere're my votes....

Living (Pretty) Woman Network

Pacific Tides

Futopia

bananashake
 


im hooked...

Postby Red Jassy » Sat May 10, 2003 12:28 am

Hey
Can i just say "Im totally addicted to your stories!!!"


I was hooked and i read the stories 'til the last update in one sitting....
I didn't sleep.. i just kept on reading an..and..and.. i s0 need an update....
I sound like a desperate reader(but yeah i am )
My vote are: channel 2,5 AND 7..
Great stories....
*off going to sleep*
ciao
Red Jassy
Don't you understand? That everything I do, I do for you? Anything that might be special in me...is you.

---GREAT EXPECTATION


Red Jassy
 


Re: im hooked...

Postby some dark thing » Sat May 10, 2003 3:08 am

Quote:
So far it looks like Futopia strong in the lead, so real network (how long has it been since we saw them?), and Pac Tides coming in a close third.




Yay!

I know I voted so I won't cheat an' try to write any vote-y stuff...

(oh the temptation... *wink*)



just wanted to add I :rofl at this:



Quote:
“ Do you always make jokes?â€
some dark thing
 


Re: im hooked...

Postby Big Dummy » Sat May 10, 2003 10:38 am

I hope I'm not too late in the voting, but I cast mine for:



2 Living Woman

5 Pacific Tides

7 Futopia



:banana



I wanna use the banana too!

Big Dummy
 


Finding Mrs. Right.

Postby Pippa » Mon May 12, 2003 9:14 am

Thank you everybody for your votes!



Red Jassy...Welcome to the thread I'm glad to have another addict...I mean... another viewer... for the poles...I mean...for the polls!



some dark thing... LOL a pen name to write NC-17 fics! I hadn't thought of that....Maybe I will...but I'd choose a name that better suits the mood... Lala Sexihotmama maybe.



And...now....The first of three:





Channel 7

The Futopia Channel

"Fear the Light"




Everything seemed to be back in full swing as Winna led Taryn down the corridor and back onto the dance floor.



No...



Winna had to take that back....



Not EVERYTHING was back in full swing...though it APPEARED to be.



Even though they were dancing and making non-committal chit-chat, everyone in the room, vampire and non, seemed to be overtly aware of Winna's charge.



Sure they wouldn't chance direct looks at them at this point...because they were ALSO keenly aware that Winna had drawn her gun into the hand that wasn't holding Taryn's. It was low, and close to her thigh, non intrusive....and yet oddly more dangerous than if she had been waving it around in the air above her head.



Anyone who had ever heard of Winna Gunn was also highly aware of her reputation with that gun.



Generally, if Winna unharnessed that monster, it was slated to destroy something before it went back on the leash.



She was all business now, her expression set in a grim line, though she was distinctly aware of Taryn's fingers interlaced in hers.



Is it just you....or does this feel really good, Gunn?...More than good...this feels RIGHT...and that makes you nervous, doesn't it? Come on if you can't admit to anyone out loud...you could at least admit it to yourself...



Winna didn't have the time she needed to wade through this confusing mix of emotions, because she spotted her target sitting at one of the lounge tables in the farthest...darkest section of the club.



Bizzy was nothing if not noticeable...even when she didn't mean to be.



" Watch my six." Winna said over her shoulder. Making sure Ryder got the message. She instead saw Taryn following her closely, looking perplexed.



" Oh come on, Gunn...I don't need to watch it, I'm sure she'll do it the honors." Ryder said from her balcony position into Winna's ear. Winna tossed a look up at the young woman who found herself to be so amusing. " Besides, I think she's been adequately watching your six since you met her."



Winna turned back around to maneuver them through the crowd towards Bizzy's table.



" Oh my god. There it is folks...Get a look now...Winna Gunn CAN blush." Ryder's radio announcer voice came through in Winna's ear. For once, Winna couldn't pull a single comeback out of her mental files.



" Are you done?" She said through her teeth.



" What? Me....hell no. But I will wait until you're done pistol whipping our old gal pal down there." Came Ryder's smug voice.



" You're a peach. Now watch our backs will you? I don't want any more surprises."



" Kay-Oh."



Winna came to a stop in front a small table where Bizzy Summers seemed preoccupied with the curve of some girl's throat at her table. She stroked the spot just over the pulse using the backs of her fingers, with the tenderness of a child with a kitten. Winna kept Taryn behind her, out of potential harm's way... still holding her hand.



She cleared her throat.



" I'm eating." Bizzy said with mild annoyance, not looking up.



Winna lifted her gun up and leveled it off over the table. She thumbed off the safety with the tell tale .



" Well... I'm bored. And I really HATE to be bored... So I think I win." Winna said, watching Bizzy's expression drop from annoyance to a shocked smile.



" Heyyyy....Gunn...(looking into the muzzle of the pistol)and Gunn's gun...long time no see."



" We need to have a word." Winna said, without a smile.



" Hell. Can't you see I'm trying to have a little conference here? " Bizzy indicated the girl seated beside her...not taking her eyes off Winna's gun...not that she could, with the scary end so close the slayer-vamp could read the serial numbers.



" Send your dinner back to the kitchen, Elizabeth." Winna said. Bizzy looked forlorn from the steady sight of Winna's gun to her table guest, sighed, and called over one of the waiters.



" I'll have this one to go." She said waiting until her dinner had slid out and followed the waiter away before looking up past the gun to Winna's face.



" Sit down...let's catch up." She said chagrined. Winna sat in the booth first, then Taryn slid in after her. Bizzy's brow raised in mild interest.



" You BROUGHT me dinner...how sweet." Bizzy purred.



" THIS is the Vampire Slayer?" Taryn asked...a little taken aback. " She seems a little sleazy..."



" THIS is the demon that squats in the former Slayer." Winna offered.



" That used to kill vamps in the house that Jack built." Bizzy snickered. " Actually it's a real honor to be the demon that inhabits the Slayer's body...it's like...movin' on up to a dee-lux apartment in the sky..."



" Well...right now I need some information from you...from the Slayer part of you...so tone it down...or your 'dee-lux apartment' is going to get one hell of a renovation." Winna dropped the gun under the table and nudged the demon in the ribs.



" Ow...all right...no need to get crabby." Bizzy pouted. " We're all friends here...aren't we, Love?" Bizzy winked at Taryn...who blanched slightly. Winna gave her an extra surly nudge.



" There's a vamp killing high bloods before they've been marked." Winna said point blank. Bizzy looked genuinely confused.



" Who would...??? Well that's just jackassed! No one in their right mind bites the hand that feeds you...literally...." Bizzy said.



" Well then there's a vamp out there who's not in their right mind. I need to know who would benefit from killing a high blood."



" No one that I know...I'm a staunch supporter of the High Bloods. Yeah High Bloods...see?" She said, realizing how serious this conversation had turned...and that she no longer wanted to be a part of anything that had to do with killing High Bloods. " Bad news...Bad...bad news...killing High Bloods" She muttered.



" Yeah...well it's about to get worse. I'm the first of a whole lot of people wanting answers. You know what'll happen to this place once the cops get a hold of it...shake it down...? You'll be spending your nights drinking your girlfriends behind seedy donut shops in the Valley. You're life...or unlife...is going to read like a bad daytime soap.



" Oh holy hell..." Bizzy muttered.



" Yeah. So I need you to keep your ears open for ANY talk." Winna realized she hadn't let Taryn's hand go. She slipped her fingers loose and reached into her jacket. She handed her a small half card. " Call me if you hear anything. There's a phone in the corridor in the back..."



" Evil doesn't use pay phones." Bizzy said offended.



" Bizzy..." Winna warned.



" True Evil likes to talk on cell phones and drive SUV's...." She said stuffing the number away.



" Whatever. I'll be expecting your call." Winna motioned for Taryn to scootch out.



" That's it? You come over...bust up my dinner party... stuff a gun in my gut...ask a couple of questions...and leave me hangin?"



" That's it. " Winna said curtly. Bizzy thought about this a moment.



" That's so...BAAAD it's good....You sure you're working for the right side?" Winna didn't grace her with a reply. She took Taryn's hand again. They made their way to the balcony steps.



" You were so quiet back there..." Winna said. Taryn looked over her shoulder. Bizzy was watching them with a casual smirk. She twinkled her fingers at Taryn.



" That was our last, best hope against the vampires, and now she's one of them." Taryn said. Winna took a glance back at the blond vamp who quickly stopped twinkling, and continued to ascend.



" There's more where she came from...don't worry...her successor is a real gung-ho gal...I'd introduce you some time but we don't see eye to eye about some things...well...the pun wasn't intended but I'll take credit for..."



" Old Ex?" Taryn asked, feigning innocence. Winna's head whipped around so fast that he red hair fanned to one side.



" Wha...what makes you think...THAT???" She asked...losing only an iota of her coolness for a second.



" Well if there is a tough, gung-ho gal in town...I'm sure you dated her."



Winna took a few seconds to recuperate. She gathered her coolness about her like she was adjusting a long duster jacket.



" You're a tough, gung-ho gal..." She said smoothly. A wry smile tracing her lips.



" You have no idea...how gung-ho I am." Taryn said with a slow, cryptic, smile.



" Uhm...if you two are going to banter and flirt and make barely cloaked sexual innuendoes...could you at least turn off your headset...this is getting me all wigged out. Winna likes Taryn and Taryn likes Winna...I GET it... hell the whole club gets it...can we go now? It's getting kind of early." Ryder said into Winna's ear.



" What time is it?" Winna asked...still distracted by Taryn.



" Sunrise in a half hour. Time flies when you're in a kitchen with a hot chick and I'm up here all alone drinking virgin margaritas and fending off every bad pick up line in the book.... " Ryder said as they came up to the landing where she was.



" Okay...let's go. " Winna said, and let Ryder lead the way.



" Thank heavens. I was about to let one of these suckers bite me and then stake myself just to put me out of my boredom." Ryder muttered, pushing open the doors to the club, and tromped down the steps. The sky outside had taken on a dark blue hue that meant dawn would not be far behind.



" Yeah? Well at least you didn't come here as just bait..." Taryn said. Ryder chuckled.



" Point made...but it certainly is fun to see the worm on the hook kick some fish ass? That was incredible by the way..."



" Thanks."



" Can we talk about this at home? When the SUN isn't about to come up?" Winna said, and pulled out her remote. " Sweetie...open up and let's go."



The car rumbled to life quickly as the doors came open.



Once they were in, and the doors were shut, Ryder leaned in from the back seat.



" Hey Winna, It's really getting early... can Taryn sleep over?" She teased.



" Ryder... Do you want to walk back?" Winna said...in the dim light of the car, Ryder could see her boss's cheeks were rouged. She chortled. It wasn't often she got to have this kind of fun at Winna's expense. Winna never brought home any overnight guests. EVER. Winna had once remarked that it was because she didn't want to compromise the anonymity of her home...but Ryder figured it was because she just hadn't met the right woman. And here this one almost dropped into her lap by Thurman.



It made Ryder happy...overjoyed even to think that maybe Winna had finally met someone that piqued her interest...even made her...for want of a better word to describe Winna Gunn....girlishly giddy...



Taryn...A.K.A. Mrs. Right...looked out the strange windshield in silence... Her long blond hair obscuring her expression.



Ryder leaned back in her seat with a smile she couldn't help. It stretched across her face without her consent...



Things were finally looking promising in the House of Gunn.



TBC...





"Do you seriously expect me to tell the President that an alien has landed, assumed the identity of a dead housepainter from Madison, Wisconsin and is presently tooling around the countryside in a hopped up orange and black 1977 Mustang?" - Starman

Edited by: Pippa at: 5/12/03 8:47:16 am
Pippa
 


yup.. im a certified addict :)

Postby Red Jassy » Mon May 12, 2003 10:46 am

hi Pippa


YUp... im definitely an addict...
what can i say..your fics are very addictive.. its like getting a drop of it and your there.. begging for more.
Thanks for the update..
Gotta love Winna her sleek and sexy kick-ass rogue personality, i like it

Red Jassy


Don't you understand? That everything I do, I do for you? Anything that might be special in me...is you.

---GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Red Jassy
 


Re: yup.. im a certified addict :)

Postby shuyaku » Mon May 12, 2003 1:10 pm

I'm with Red Jassy - I'm certifiable... um, I mean I'm an addict... um, I mean a certifiable addict. Okay, it just doesn't sound good any way you say it :lol Oh well...



Hi my name is Shuyaku and I am a Cataclysm Cafe-oholic :bounce :bounce :bounce More please!



-shuyaku





shuyaku
 


Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room

Postby Cindy Lou Who » Mon May 12, 2003 9:44 pm

As Pippa Passes I read delighted.



I enjoy the way you've written Winna as so controlled and strong...and vulnerable to only one thing. To watch as she fights for domination over her feelings for Taryn...and being frightened to really give in completely. And I still so love the Ryder! Cracks me up everytime.



~Suse



(If I paid you lots of money or bartered to your heart's content might I see a 9 West before I die? Not committing...just blue-skying :D S.)

"When they offer you money, it can be tough. But when you feel like something is important and you want to stand up for what you believe is right, you have to do it. As painful as it can be to live in poverty, I prefer it to doing things I think are wrong." ~ Interview with A. Benson courtesy of Kajo2000

Cindy Lou Who
 


Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room

Postby mollyig » Tue May 13, 2003 2:45 am

Winna certainly has got a case of the smitten kitten; I love how Ryder was easily able to make her usually unflappable boss blush. It's great to see though how pleased Ryder is that her boss has found Ms Right. The banter between Taryn and Winna is just great. Thanks!

I love my Love, and well she knows
I love the ground whereon she goes

mollyig
 


Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room

Postby Mrs Vertigo » Tue May 13, 2003 5:40 am

Ryder stole my heart :love . She's just a perfect sidekick, d'ya know that? You know what can be funny though - if you kept this fic up long enough there would be people writing fanfinc about it. Then there could be like a Ryder fandom, since she IS a sidekick (just like Willow...). You see where I'm headed with this? We could have the Ryder's posting board and argue on Futopia subtext. For example, there could be a thread for Winna/Ryder shippers, like there are those dreaded Buffy/Willow things.



I love this fic. But it's so dark and chilly... we really should work on our tans under some hot Pacific sun, don't you think? :pray



By the way, mollyig, I love your sig :heart . That's a beautiful song. Plus, the first time I heard it was Sinead O'Connor singing, so hello subtext! :grin



My 2 cents: keep a dream-diary. Your brain is best uncensored.

Edited by: Mrs Vertigo at: 5/13/03 4:43:10 am
Mrs Vertigo
 


Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room

Postby Grimaldi » Tue May 13, 2003 8:01 am

loved the update :grin



Ryder teasing Winna was funny, and i liked Buffy as a vampire

I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps

Grimaldi
 


Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room

Postby xita » Tue May 13, 2003 8:37 am

pippa, gonna have to get used to that name :p , Oh, yes loved the programming today! So good to see winna blush and get flustered and good old ryder not cutting her any slack.



This cracked me up though "That used to kill vamps in the house that Jack built." funny stuff.

xita
 


responses

Postby Pippa » Tue May 13, 2003 9:31 am

Red Jassy… An addict hmm? Now all I have to do is get you addicted to coffee and you’re all mine! Bwahahahahahah!



Shuyaku…A Café-o-holic hmm? Well then I’ll have to make this next fic extra crazy fun for you!



Cindy Lou Who…Hmm… I might have to pull a Nine West show out of the archives on a night between votes…maybe even a Flashback Land too just for kicks.



Mollyig… Winna as a smitten Kitten… I like that. I think Ryder knows all the buttons to push to make her boss blush…Mostly I think Ms. Right makes her blush.



Mrs. Vertigo… Ryder Fanfic! LOL Maybe I’ll put a little bit more of a past in Ryder’s pocket.! LOL…Oh and don’t you worry…you’ll get Pacific Sand in between your toes very soon.



Grimaldi…It was hard to write Buffy as a Vampire…but I thought I’d give her a little subtext…heh…



Xita…Pippa…yeah…I’m still getting used to it too. Glad you got a kick out of Futopia yesterday…hope you get even more of a kick out of So-REAL upcoming. The producers wanted a little something…MORE to happen…heh….



Pippa
 


Re: responses

Postby Sassette » Tue May 13, 2003 9:47 am

wiccaPippa! Oh, Dear Lord. I'm not sure exactly why I just typed that in - I must have been having a Giles moment. I'm way loving the Futopia - I'm reasonably sure Winna could not possibly be any cooler in a "blushing wreck" kind of way *G* I just love how well you've established that Winna is a BadAss ... and how unlike her it is to be reacting this way. Heh.



And I'm >really< looking forward to the So Real network. IIRC, we left off with smoochies. Yay Smoochies!



-Sass

Sassette
 


Re: responses

Postby ukxenafan » Tue May 13, 2003 1:37 pm

How on earth are you keeping track off these exciting stories!?? LOVED the update - Winna is such a cool character and I love the vamp lore - is that blood disorder a real thing or did you make it up for the story??



Looking forward to the next update on Winna and Taryn, but also the other channels too!



Is it So REAL next?

ukxenafan
 


Re: responses

Postby some dark thing » Tue May 13, 2003 4:57 pm

Bizzy Summers



and



Quote:
"THIS is the Vampire Slayer?" Taryn asked...a little taken aback. "She seems a little sleazy..."




Oh, you made my day!

So cool. LMAO.



Quote:
her successor is a real gung-ho gal




could it be...?

she wasn't in ANY of the other fics, was she?

so if it is her I'm beyond addicted, I'm in heaven.

oh. wait. it's not... Kendra, is it? heh. kidding.



Quote:
It was hard to write Buffy as a Vampire…but I thought I’d give her a little subtext…heh…




LOL. Give away!

and this brings matters back to my question (ok, maybe not, but I'll pretend it does) who is the gung-ho successor?



SO-REAL is next?

YAY. It's been too long. *insert cliche faraway look*

smoochies or not smoochies on the next channel, that is the question.



some dark thing
 


Re: responses

Postby Mrs Vertigo » Wed May 14, 2003 11:42 am

Quote:
who is the gung-ho successor?


No, seriously dude, who do you think? :glasses Somehow I really don't feel Kendra would really be the type to have a history hanging 'round Winna and get herself that rough-rider, gung-ho gal rep thing going. Doesn't really seem like her style, y'know - seeing how she's as dumb as a ROCK and all.



'Sides, is it just me, or is there a distinct leather vibe to this fic? I keep expecting leather everywhere. :hmm why IS that? Not that I'm hinting anything. Not at all. Ahem. :boot

My 2 cents: keep a dream-diary. Your brain is best uncensored.

Edited by: Mrs Vertigo at: 5/14/03 10:43:04 am
Mrs Vertigo
 


Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby Pippa » Wed May 14, 2003 12:11 pm

Today is the troll's birthday. He's 164.7 years young today and wanted to write a little eppie for you all in celebration.



Coffee all around!!!



Sass…You want some So-REAL??? You want some So-REAL??? I’ll give ya … (okay…the tough act really doesn’t work for me, does it?) (hands Sass a floppy flower) There…now…I feel better…you?



Ukxenafan…Let me tell you. Hemochromatosis is a very real blood disorder. It can be both genetic, and medical in nature. It’s actually very common…the body just produces too much iron…and since there is no cure for it as of yet…the only way to thwart the effects of the disorder on the liver is to have blood removed from the body on a fairly regular basis (sometimes up to twice a week). (wow…did I just go into a spiel? Did I just spiel?) Hope that was educational…



Some dark thing… LOL…we’ll see about Bizzy’s successor…still hashing that out. Food for thought though, yes? (wondering how a nice Canadian accent will play out on paper…hint hint…)



Mrs. Vertigo…on the same thread…maybe if Kendra was her successor I’d have to change the fic to include plether and leopard-prints….ugh….In other words…no…Kendra will not be the gung-ho slayer who replaced Bizzy.









Channel 3

The So-REAL Network

Part 7




**



The White Room



Meagan sits with her legs crossed, looking out over the camera at something we can’t see. She seems almost…contemplative…



Meagan: “ So there we were…post-bet…walking around a creepy old house like a bunch of jackasses…And there I was… with a couple of guys that I wouldn’t be caught dead with out in Reality Land. I was not about to lose my twenty bucks though. No-WAY….No-HOW. Plus…I really wanted to find my way back to my room and get some sleep. Yeah…I said sleep. I’m honestly not into all of this haunted house crap. I’m not easy to scare. I grew up with six brothers who just LOVED to try and freak me out every chance they got. I think of myself as a woman with a fear-constitution of steel.



So anyway…there we were…walking down some random hallway…looking for my twenty bucks… because I just KNEW Willow and Tara were making out somewhere in this house…when something happens. I can’t exactly EXPLAIN it. Like I told you…I’m not big on the whole supernatural thing. I thought it was actually some stunt that the show was putting on for us…so take what I’m telling you to heart. (shakes head) What happened next was truly… weird…”



Some Random Hallway



“ Do you think we’re lost?” Alec asks over Tustin’s shoulder. Tustin bats at him…trying to put some distance between them.



“Get off me, will you! An NO…we are not lost…we are just…misplaced….” Tustin says.



“ Don’t coddle him, Tustin…we are horribly lost and will probably start dying of dehydration before the urge to eat each other finally kicks in.” Meagan says cheerfully while looking up and down a corridor that oddly resembles every OTHER corridor in the house.



“ We’re just…turned around is all…” Tustin says



“ This is not the kind of house we want to be turned around in. I assure you.” Alec says in a quivering voice.



Meagan and Tustin turn to look at Alec.

“ Alec…is there something that you’re not telling us? You seem a little…tightly wound…” Meagan asks suspiciously.



Both she and Tustin look at his jittering hands and they come up to wipe the beads of sweat from his face.



“ Yeah…come on, Keyhole…spill…” Tustin says.



“ What? Me? Wound? Tightly?” He breathes.



The White Room



Alec is seated in the chair folding and unfolding his hands in his lap.



Alec: “ Okay…I know the rules are strict. We aren’t supposed to ask questions about the house’s history…but I didn’t ask… I swear…I just found this book in the bookshelf in my room when I got here…and I kind of skimmed through it….Okay…I made a few notes…some charts and graphs…maybe a small detailed timeline or two…But the gist of it was that this house was…well……very, very bad. And it wasn’t just something you bring up to mixed company…it takes a little sensitivity…a little finesse… I mean…I don’t want to scare them…”





The Same Random Hallway Twenty Three Seconds Later…



“ This house is possessed with a power so timeless and evil that it cannot be measured by human standards!” Alec blurts.



<>



They stare at him.



“ Is that your professional opinion?” Meagan drawls.



“ Boy…you need to cut back on the old java supertanker, buddy.” Tustin seconds with a raised brow.



“You’re not scared?” Alec asks, incredulous.



“ Only of the enormous puddle of sweat that you are going to leave when you’re done here…graak…” Tustin says.



“ You don’t believe me?”



“ It’s not that we don’t believe you, Alec…it’s that we don’t WANT to believe you.” Meagan says helpfully.



Alec pulls out a slip of paper with his carefully scribbled cliff notes.



“ It says right in the book that the Evil That Shall Not be Named must be fed five virgins every one hundred years…and the last time five people disappeared in this house was one hundred years ago this VERY NIGHT! This is supposed to be the last sacrifice before it is released upon the world.”



“Five virgins? But….(looks around at Meagan with a goofy, nervous smile) I’m not a virgin…”



The White Room



Tustin is standing behind the chair…his hands braced on the back.



Tustin: “ I’m not a virgin…I mean…look at me….” He takes his hands off to show off his scrawny form. “ Oh yeah, Baby…I’m all man….”



Some Random Hallway



“ I’m not.” Tustin says adamantly. “ I mean…besides…why would a reality show want to feed virgins…(if we WERE to be virgins which we aren’t)….to some house full of evil??? That’s crazy. That’s just…(crosses arms over his chest) …crazy.”



“ I read the book. Twice. It says…and I quote: ‘ Five unsullied souls that have not reached their thirtieth year, shall be consumed by this house in order to release the Most Evil of Evils and allow it to walk upon the Earth.’ I did the calculations, and we are the last batch of virgins it needs before The Most Evil of Evils can be set free.” Alec says.



“ The most Evil of Evils? Are you sure you didn’t read it wrong? Maybe it’s some bad Las Vegas act that wants to release the Most Elvis of Elvises…” Meagan sighs with a wry smile.



“ No. I’m pretty sure. I mean…once it’s released…I’m sure the producers wanted to be at the Evil’s right hand…you know…kind of like a quasi-evil affiliate station…All they needed was a little promotional sponsoring… a handful of virgins…and a prime time slot….”



Tustin turns to Meagan. “ But WE aren’t virgins… I mean…you’re not a virgin, are you?”



“ And proud of it.” Meagan says…” Not that it’s any of your business.” She sees a panicked look cross Tustin’s features. “ Oh come on! You aren’t buying into this schlock are you??? It was a BOOK…planted in your room by the producers to scare us into leaving the house! It’s not Evil…it’s ratings!”



Both boys look at her.



“ But what if it isn’t?” Tustin says…suddenly inching closer to Alec.



“ Well, Mr. Non-virgin…you won’t have anything to worry about then…” Meagan counters.



Tustin looks at his shoes.





“ Well…I MIGHT should be worried…maybe….” He mutters.



“ No…who SHOULD be WORRIED right now is anyone trying to thwart the Most Evil of Evils inside its own territory…” Alec says with heightened nervousness.



“ What is that supposed tot mean?” Meagan asks.



“ He means we better pray that our two gals are somewhere in this house playing and innocent game of Old Maid. The kind you play with your clothes ON.” Tustin says.



“ Oh come one you two! This is ridic…” Meagan starts to argue, but is cut off by a peal of thunder that rattles the windows. The lights in the house flicker, and a sound that is not unlike the sound of a rotten watermelon being split in two in a clumpy swatch of mud can be heard all through the house. An evil cackle rumbles through the halls from everywhere and nowhere all at once.



“ What the HELL was that??!!” Meagan hisses as the lights dim again.



Both boys look at each other again…then at Meagan…pale as sheets.



“ It sounds like Second Base.” They say in deadpan unison.



TBC…



"Do you seriously expect me to tell the President that an alien has landed, assumed the identity of a dead housepainter from Madison, Wisconsin and is presently tooling around the countryside in a hopped up orange and black 1977 Mustang?" - Starman

Pippa
 


Re: Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby Sassette » Wed May 14, 2003 12:27 pm

Well, first off, I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to THE Troll. And I say THE Troll, as this troll is clearly the trolliest of all trolls - the very epitome of modern trollhood.



Second - well, speaking of "second" ... SOUNDS like second base??? SOUNDS like second base !?!?!? What about ... SEEING second base! Gah!



Third - thank you for the floppy flower. You're a sweetie *G* And here .... have some peanut-butter-and-honey sammiches to go with the coffee.



-Sass

Sassette
 


Re: Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby Pippa » Wed May 14, 2003 5:39 pm

Sass... Aww....you remembered my favourite snack! Thank you...you're a dove!:happycry







ps...would you like to SEE the second base action??? I mean...they might just be playing Strip Old Maid or something...:hmm

"Do you seriously expect me to tell the President that an alien has landed, assumed the identity of a dead housepainter from Madison, Wisconsin and is presently tooling around the countryside in a hopped up orange and black 1977 Mustang?" - Starman

Pippa
 


Re: Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby Sassette » Wed May 14, 2003 8:48 pm

*hands over a tissue*



Of course I remembered ... the fact that you enjoy a good peanut-butter-and-honey sammich is indelibly etched in my brain (and I'm very sure other kittens reading this are wondering if this is some kind of code for something dirty. It's not *G* If I say something dirty, you won't be wondering ... subtlety is not my strong suit *G*).



So - is that second base action thing a trick question? Because it's either a trick question, or so painfully obvious in its answer that I'm surprised you felt the need to ask *G* But, since you asked - YES, I want to see the second-base action.



Prithee ... how does one play Strip Old Maid?



-Sass

Sassette
 


Re: Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby xita » Thu May 15, 2003 12:08 am

I'd missed so real! It's so cool and you just added this other level. Can I say I love this plot, they have to get so really close oh so really quick or else.. heee. Great plot, but I am with sass, can we at least peek?

xita
 


Re: Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby some dark thing » Thu May 15, 2003 12:35 am

Quote:
ps...would you like to SEE the second base action??? I mean...they might just be playing Strip Old Maid or something.




Yup to the question.

But I'm with Sassette on this one: how does one play Strip Old Maid?

And are they? :eyebrow



About the gung ho slayer you do know I didn't really consider the possibility it might be Kendra, right? *breath. rolling eyes at myself*





some dark thing
 


Re: Special Birthday edition of the Cafe

Postby mollyig » Thu May 15, 2003 1:56 am

Oh that was just wonderful. Things getting funnier on The So-REAL Network. The fearless trio, no wait, fearless Megan and the two guys, combing the corridors for our girls.



This was priceless - Most Elvis of Elvises



Happy birthday dear wacky Troll.

I love my Love, and well she knows
I love the ground whereon she goes

mollyig
 

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