
Hoo no one had to wait a week! ahaha Im evil like that! Again, sorry for the lack of updates! I'll make up for it later by some sex! Yes, I wrote my first sex scene!

That wont come till later though! Thanks for all the GREAAT replies everyone!
Note: I should probably comment on the fact that this update deals with the issue of cutting. Something I have personally gone through. So if you think you cant handle it, please dont read! Or read it...just skip that part! Thanks all!
PART EIGHT
*Present*
"Oh goddess Willow! You didnt have to do this!" Tara exclaims. They were at the edge of Faiths Meadow where Tara and Willow had thier first date together, having a picnic underneath a willow tree that was overseeing the lake. There was a full moon tonight and it was beautifull. But nothing compared to how beautifull Tara was, Willow thought.
"Well of course I had to silly! Be sure to thank Xander for setting this up." She says playfully.
Tara turns to face Willow, loving her more as each perfect moment passed with the girl she loved.
"Willow you're too good to me! How did I find such a goddess like you?" Tara says. Willow smiles brightly.
"You're just a lucky woman I guess!" She says and takes Taras hand as they sit down. Willow leaning against the tree and Tara laying back against Willow, whose arms were wrapped around Tara. Holding her like this felt like heaven. Being with her felt like this was the best feeling in the world.
"Did you have a nice night baby?" Willow asks.
"Best night ever! I dont think anything can top this night." Tara replies lovingly. Willow pulls her arms away from Taras waist.
"Care to make a wager on that?" She asks, holding out her hand. Tara looks down at it, Willow is holding out a small opened box, in the box was a ring.
"Tara, before you came into my life, I was nothing. With you I feel complete. You're the other half of my soul I love you so much. And as each day passes, I realize that more and more. You're my everything. I once told you that I would do anything to make you happy. And I want to spend the rest of my life doing so. Tara, will you marry me?" Willow says. Her eyes are hopefull. Taras eyes are filling up with tears.
"Yes Willow! Of course yes!" Tara exclaims. And Willow puts the ring on her left ring finger. Both smiling. Willow almost at a loss for words.
"Willow, I love you so much." Tara says, shes crying now.
"I love you too Tara. Always and forever." Willow says. And they kiss. The kiss was filled with warmth, love, and promises of the future.
PART NINE
*10th Grade*
"He's just so great! He makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. And when we kiss, it's like....like Im on fire or something!" Willow exclaims. They were all at lunch, Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Tara. Willow was talking about Oz. Again. They had been going out since June, both seemed very happy, and it got on everyones nerves.
"Ok Will! No need to go all NC-17 on us! We get it, Oz is like, the man. Got it loud and clear." Xander says.
"Sorry!" Willow says sheepishly.
"So Tara, how's that art class?" Buffy asks Tara, who was staring absentmindly at her mashed potatoes.
"What? Oh. It's fine. We're starting r-rhyming schemes today." She says quietly, now staring at what seemed like nothing. Lost in her own thoughts that were of Willow and Oz. :They are so happy. And look how miserable its making me: She tried not to think of them together. But she couldnt really help it. Everytime she saw them together, it made her insides twist and turn. And it wasn't helped by the way Willow was always talking about him. Tara didnt have a problem with Oz, he was a nice guy, he took good care of Willow and he made her happy and that's all that mattered. Tara was still afraid of losing Willow and that's why she had not yet told her how she felt. She knew it would freak her out and that Willow would get really mad and never talk to her again. So what was the point? And now Willow was back to talking about Oz.
"I wonder what it would be like to marry him!" She says. Finally. Tara gets up.
"I'm sorry. I dont feel very good." She says, and walks off.
"Whats wrong with her?" Xander asks. Buffy shrugs. Willow stared at Tara's retreating back. She knew. Or at least she thought she did.
PART 10
"I asked you to do ONE thing Tara, one simple damn thing and you couldn't do it! You're so worthless! You never do anything right! And I dont know why I put up with it! I dont know why I keep you around here. You're lazy, self involved, you're nothing! Actually, you're less then nothing! Now get out of here. Go to your room or something, just seeing your face is pissing me off!" Taras father yelled as he turned and walked off. Tara, like always when her dad acted like this, didnt say anything back. She wouldnt even if she had the courage to anyway. So she quickly went upstairs to her room, shutting the door and locking it.
This was her only haven. Her room. Her things. She sits down on her bed, breathing heavily. The tears dont come.
Ever since her mom had died three years ago of cancer, it was like her dad took all of his hurt, pain, and fustration out on her. It had gotten really bad since they had moved to Sunnydale. Tara knew it would be her mothers birthday soon, and it seemed like her dad was her for her moms death. And ever since she died, her father had taken up drinking. Sometimes he would come home very late at night, come storming into her room and start yelling at her. Blaming her for things that were wrong in HIS life.
Sometimes he would become violent. He would hit her. Tara's brother Donny got none of this treatment. Sometimes he would stop their dad when he hit Tara, other times he just stood and watched, like he thought she deserved it too.
Tara knew she could never tell her friends about what was goin on at home. She had come close to telling Willow once before. But she knew Willow was preoccupied nowadays. Winter Break was coming up, she hoped she and Willow would spend more time together. But Tara highly doubted that. Willow seemed to be stuck on cloud nine with Oz.
As each day passed, they spent less and less time together. Tara knew that she and Willow were drifting apart. And she loathed herself for that. It was her fault. She kept letting her jealousy and feelings for the red head get in the way. Her father WAS right. She was worthless. A pitifull excuse for a human being. She couldnt do anything right. She couldnt even keep her friends, much less be honest with them. And now the tears came. Silently she cried. Silently she damned her own exsistence.
Getting up from her bed, over to her dresser, she opens a drawer, sifting through her things, finally finding what she was looking for. A razor blade she had taken from her fathers bathroom while he was off at some bar. She walks back over to her bed, sitting down, looking at the blade for a while. All those terrible thoughts still in her head. She brings it down upon her wrist, moving it across her flesh. She can feel the blade tearing into her skin, leaving a trail of seaping blood, she winces in pain. But then she clenches her fist as she watches the blood slowly getting thicker. She lays back onto her bed, the tears streaming down her face, and they dont stop.
TBC......was it good? Sex in the next update!
-rose
So I found out some things about you. You're not the girl I thought i knew. I found out I wasnt perfect enough for you. I found out that my love will never be good enough.