It's My Life

[Cherry Avenger]

It's My Life

by Cherry Avenger

DISCLAIMER - no money, done for the love and praise. Hope you all like it. This is different compared to the Buffyverse, but i thought it was a good idea. Willow isnt in the first part or 2 but i will get her involved feedback to cherryavenger@hotmail.com

Spoilers - none

rated pg for language



Part 1

        The house of 1710 Revello Dr. was total chaos. Opened boxes cluttered the halls and various household items were strewn about the furniture. A boy of 17 knelt in the entry way double checking the contents of his backpack. When he was sure he had everything, he stood and grabbed his blue and silver letterman's jacket from the hooks by the door. Putting it on, he turned to yell back up the stairs. "Tara Maclay! This is the last time I'm telling ya. Get down here, or you'll be walking to school."

        An older blond woman walked down the stairs in a long sleeve shirt and jeans. "Donnie, I hear you yell like that again, and you will be the one walking to school. Got me?" she stated in a firm quiet voice as she pulled long blond hair back into a pony tail.

        "Yes, Mom," Donnie replied, looking down at the floor, "but she is taking forever. I've called her like 4 times."

        "I've heard," Kathryn Maclay said with a lop sided grin. She ran her fingers through his semi-shaggy sandy blond hair. "Donnie, you know that moving here has been very hard on her."

        "It's been hard on me, too." He glanced down on his wristwatch. "And if we don't leave soon, we'll be late."

        She picked up his bag from the floor and handed it to him. "Go and get the car warmed up. I'll make sure she's down in a minute." She kissed on the forehead as he headed out the door.



        Hurricane Tara was ripping through the few boxes stil unpacked. "I c-c-can't f-find it! W-w-where is at?" The knock at door went unheard.

        Kathryn poked her head in and found Tara near to tears. "Goodness, Tara. What's the matter?" she asked as she pulled her frantic 13 year old daughter into her arms. "Breathe, Baby, deep breath," she soothed as she caressed blonde hair so like her own.

        Tara calmed down enough to easily say, "I can't find it, Mommy."

        "Find what, Sweetie?"

        "G-grandma's ring. It was in my jewelry box when I packed. I can't find it now." The young girl rubbed her eyes and looked up into her mother's face. "I w-wanted to w-wear it today for luck."

        "Sweetie, listen to me. I will find it for you. In the mean time..." Kathryn pulled a small pair of emerald earrings off her ears. "I want you to wear these today instead."

        "I love you, Mom." Tara said as she hugged her mother tightly. She pulled away and put on the earrings.

        "Your brother's in the car. You better go before you both are late." She smiled as Tara jumped up, grabbed her backpack, and took off down the stairs.



        "All right, people, quiet down now!" the burly Coach Hemrin yelled at the surrounding Eighth graders. "Since it is raining outside today, we'll stick inside the gym. You'll either be playing basketball or walking around the courts." He smirked at the collective groan of the students. "There is no sitting in P.E. Now sit down while I take roll."

        After attendance was taken, Tara walked around the gym, lost in her own thoughts. Occasionally she watched the other kids who had chosen to play basketball. Though not one to avoid physical activities, she was glad to avoid basketball. Nope, not coordinated enough for it, she thought to herself. Plus she wore her her jeans and light blue long sleeve blouse, since she didn't have any P.E. clothes yet, and didn't want them messed up. Her eyes went to girls in front of her. They were giggling and pointing at various boys on the courts. I just don't get it, she thought as she looked at one of the guys the girls were gaga over. Why do they find him so cute? I don't.

        Looking down at her watch, she saw that there was about 20 minutes left in the class period. Pulling her schedule out of her pocket, she scanned over the rest of the day. English, History, P.E. done. Just have Lunch, Art, Science, and Algebra left. She didn't notice that the girls in front of her had stopped walking to cheer for one blonde guy in particular and bumped into them.

        "Hey! Watch out where I'm going," sneered one of the blonde girls.

        "S-s-sorry. I d-didn't s-s-s-see you s-stop," Tara stammered out, clearly embarassed. The group of girls just looked at her and burst into giggles. Tara turned away and kept on walking, willing herself not to cry. Keeping well ahead of those girls as she continued her circuit around the courts, she glanced at her watch again. There was only a few more minutes left before the couch would send everyone into the lockerrooms to change.

        She looked up and noticed that the only guy not playing basketball was walking a few feet in front of her. Maybe he is as uncoordinated as me, she thought as she studied him. He was taller than her, lanky in body. It happened as she was looking at his gelled and spikey dark hair. A basketball hit him extremely hard on the side of head, and the momentem knocked him off his feet. The young man was holding his head as Tara ran to his side. "Y-you okay?" she asked worriedly. She checked around for Coach Hemrin and found him talking to a group of boys on the other side of the gym. "I'll go get some help," she assured the dark haired boy as she made to get up.

        The boy grabbed her arm to stop her. "Don't," he told her. Just then she saw another boy, the one the gaggle of girls had been cheering for, retrieve the offending ball.

        "Aww...is little Xander okay? Did the big bad ball hurt him?" the boy laughed as he stood over Xander and Tara. "You should learn to watch out for balls." He bent low and glared at the hurt boy. His mouth drew up into a sneer as he said, "Little faggot." He straightened and moved to return to his game.

        Tara was shocked. She had never seen such a display of hate and malice. Yet from somewhere deep inside of her, out came such righteous indignation. "Takes one to know one," she claimed loud and clear enough for everyone to hear.

        The hateful boy turned back around to her in anger. He might have thrown the ball at Tara, too, had the coach not yelled at that moment, "Alright people. Lockerrooms now. Change and get to your next class." His eyes gazed steadily at the blonde boy. "Move it, now!"

        The boy turned around and threw his basketball in the bin with the others. He left without looking back at anyone. Tara started to help Xander, but the dark haired boy shrugged her off. "I'm fine," he said bitterly, without looking at Tara. He stormed off towards the lockerrooms.

        "S-s-sorry," she said to his retreating back.



        I'm never gonna have any friends, Tara thought as she pretended to read while eating her lunch. I keep pissing off everyone I meet. Losing her appetite, she threw the rest of her lunch into her bag for later. She returned to her book, but even Taran miraculously finding the sword Drynwyn and finally slaying the Cauldron-Born held no interest for her. Her mind wandered over to the table in the corner where the blonde haired boy held court with his friends, and the fawning girls tried to get his attention.

        Caught up in her thoughts, Tara didnt notice Xander approach her table. "Hey," he greeted softly. Tara gazed up at him with wide blue eyes. "Um," he started as he noticed her worried look, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and to say thanks." He turned to leave.

        Tara wasn't sure what to say, but she didn't want him to walk off again. "Y-you want to s-sit?" she asked suddenly. Xander turned back around and smiled as he sat down. "Tara Maclay", she stated as she held out her hand.

        "Xander Harris." He shook the proffered hand. "Good book?" he asked.

        "Yeah, I've read it a couple of times. It's the last one in a series." she told him comfortably.

        "Cool. So you're new here." He looked expectantly at her.

        "Yep." She put her book back into her backpack with her unfinished lunch. "Just moved here last week."

        "Where from?"

        "Portland, Oregon. My dad got transfered down here. What about you?" she asked.

        "Born and raised here in good ol' Sunnydale. Live over on Cypress."

        "I'm on Revello Dr. Got any brothers or sisters?"

        "A little sister...now." He became a little quiet. "Had an older brother, but he was killed in a car crash a couple of years ago."

        "I'm s-sorry. I d-didn't mean..."

        The dark haired boy interrupted, a small smile on his face, "It's cool. What about you? Sibs?"

        "My brother Donny is a junior at the high school. He's hoping that he can still get on the football team."

        The bell rang signifying the end of lunch. "What do you have now?" Xander asked as they both got up and exited the cafeteria.

        "Art with McConnell in room 113." she answered as she looked at her schedule again.

        "That's down that way, around the corner, and past the teacher's lounge. What about after that?" Xander pointed her way.

        "Um, Science with Treptick."

        "I'll save you a seat then. See ya, Tara." Xander called as he made his way in the opposite direction. Smiling widely, Tara turned and walked down the hallway.



        "It's really nice of you to walk me home, Xander," Tara smiled a lop sided grin at him. The two of them walked along the wet sidewalk. "I guess my brother managed to get on the football team. Otherwise, he would have picked me up." She giggled. "I don't think I would've known how to get home."

        "It's cool. My house is just 2 streets over. It's a good thing the rain let up." He nudged her shoulder as he grinned back at her.

        They continued along both in their own thoughts. Tara broke the comfortable silence when she remembered, "Hey, this Sunday is my birthday, and my mom said i could invite any friends i make over for cake and ice cream. Would you like to come?"

        Xander looked quite pleased at first, but then sombered a little. "You sure you want to be friends with the town 'faggot'?" he asked as he made quote marks with his fingers.

        "Are you? Gay, I mean," she asked shyly as she pushed stray hair behind her ears. "I so don't like that other word. It's an awful thing to call someone. Who was that guy, anyways?"

        "Yeah, I hate that word, too. And the guy's name is Liam," He hesitated before answering her first question, "I don't know about being gay. All the guys at school act like I am. It's still kinda confusing." He shrugged his shoulders. His dark eyes clouded over for a moment.

        Tara stopped walking and turned to face the dark haired boy. "Xander, I would love to be your friend, if you let me. It doesn't matter who you like to me." She beamed at him and hoped that he would accept her offer of friendship.

        Smiling back at her, he asked, "What time do want me over on Sunday?"



TBC

Edited by: Cherry Avenger at: 11/21/03 8:18 pm

[snuggle79]

hey!



Great start! Tara and Xander are pretty young here.

That Liam is a big dork...

Can't wait to read more!



snuggle79

This is how everyday should end and start ..and all the stuff in the middle

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[sam darls]

Aww..I so love this so far, it is so good and really sweet. More? Love sammi xx

[StrangeQuark]

This story has some real polish to it. You must be an experienced writer, or at least, a VERY avid and observant reader. I like the plot, the characters, the dialogue, everything. It's so vibrant and fresh.



Anxiously awaiting more...



-SQ

[Aine]

Awww ...i like it!! such a great start! can't wait till the next update...sounds like tara might actually have a nice family? maybe? hopefully? i also love the interaction between xander and tara. well i can't wait to read more...awesome fic so far!!



Aine

[Sleek]

I like your writimg style. Keep going!



Sleek

[Blue Channel]

Hey! I really like your story...stupid Liam...typical bully, update soon...please?

...Have a day...

[Cherry Avenger]

DISCLAIMER - same as before in first post Hope you all enjoy.



Part 2

        Tara slowly approached the partially opened door. She knocked lightly as she poked her head through. "Dad?" She found her father, Donald, sitting at his desk leafing through various papers.

        He looked up and smiled, "Hey, Tara." He waved for her to come all the way inside the home office. Setting his work aside, he leaned back in his chair and asked, "Whatcha need, Honey?" Tara came in and sat on the armrest of the couch by his desk. Her father looked at her expectantly.

        "Well, it's a beautiful day outside. I think you should take Mom on a picnic." Sweetness exuded from her as she grinned at him. "Too much work makes a boring daddy."

        Donald chuckled. "And why wouldn't you be joining us on this lovely day?"

        Tara pushed stray hair behind her right ear. "There's this history project Xander and I have been working on the last few weeks. The founding of Sunnydale. 'Compare today's Sunnydale with yesterdays,'" she mimicked her teacher's monotone. "We were hoping to do one of the last parts today."

        "And?" He gestured for her to come over to him. Tara shyly went and sat on his knee.

        "And I was hoping to m-maybe, if you let me, use your camera." Before he could answer, she continued on, "We made copies of pictures of Old Sunnydale from the archives at the Main St. Library. We thought it would be cool to go and take pictures of the same things as they are today. Please?" She looked up at him, puppy eyes and pouting lip.

        Donald laughed heartily at his daughter's antics. Pulling her in for a hug, "Of course, Honey. Just be very careful with it, okay?"

        "Yes, Daddy," she replied as she kissed him on the cheek. She jumped up and grabbed the camera bag from the corner. "Thank you, Daddy," she called back as she raced down the stairs and out th front door.



        Xander sat waiting on his porch swing. His feet playing with his skateboard, rolling it back and forth as he swung. He stood as Tara appeared at the corner of his street on her mountain bike. "You get it?" he asked as she stopped in front of his house. He nodded towards the black bag that was slung across her body and resting on her hip.

        "Yeppers!" she exclaimed. "You ready to go?"

        He walked towards her, skateboard in hand. "When you are." The two 14 year olds headed for their first destination, City Hall. Tara's long bonde hair whipped out behind her as she raced ahead of Xander. Laughing she swerved in front of him not allowing him to pass her. Xander kicked flip off the curb. "Ha, ha!" he called back to her. Reaching the gray building, they stopped near the steps leading to the entrance.

        Tara hit the kick stand on her bike and sat on the second step. Unslinging the bag, she pulled out her dad's Canon A-E1. Xander whistled at the SLR camera. "You sure you know how to work that?" he asked. "Maybe we should have bought a disposable one." He practiced grinding on the lowest step while Tara loaded the film and attached the wide angle lens.

        "When I was 6, my dad would set it and hold it while I focused and positioned." Her eyes glazed slightly as memories floated past. "He taught me everything else when I was old enough to hold it by myself." Smirking, she aimed that camera as he attempted his trick again. When he got to the end, he jumped off with a kick flip again. Click, Tara snapped the shot.

        "Hey!" Xander cried as he skated back towards her. He tried not to smile, "Did I at least look good?" Click. She snapped another shot of him smirking at her.

        "We'll see when we get it developed." She stood and looked at the building through the lens. "The picture we have is of the old building straight on, right?"

        "Yeah," Xander replied as he moved her bike and bag out of the shot. He watched her back away and to the left. She knelt on one knee, and angled the camera up. That particular angle allowed the building to be bigger and a little imposing. Click. Standing back up she took 2 steps to her right and repeated the shot. Click.

        "Okie-dokie," she said as she grabbed the bag from Xander and placed the camera inside. "Sunnydale Memorial, and then Weatherly Park."



        After the hospital, the teenagers arrived at the park. "Let's take a look around first," Tara said. "See if we can find the perfect shot." They walked along through the many trees.

        "You're really getting into all this," Xander pushing her lightly. As they neared the center of the park, they came upon a large fountain. Water flowed from the outspread hands of the tall angel statue. Tara became entranced by the sound of the rippling water and the laughter of children playing on the nearby playground. Pulling the camera out again, she positioned herself so that the fountain was off to the right in the foreground of the frame, and the small playground was on the left just behind it. The large field of grass and the far outline of trees filled out the background nicely. She snapped the shot as a little boy chased a little girl towards the swings. Click.

        She smiled broadly. "That one better turn out," she told Xander. They started towards Main Street down one of the dirt paths through the trees. Tara stopped as she heard familiar laughter. "He took her," she said as she leaned her bike against a tree and took off after the sound.

        "Huh?" A bewildered Xander followed Tara through the thickening trees. They slowed as they got near a small clearing. Tara gestured for silence. As quietly as possible they made their way behind a thick mess of bushes. On a blue blanket, Tara's father laid out on his side, his head leaning on his hand. Tara's mother sat with her back against him.

        "She even pulled the puppy dog eyes and pout on me," Donald told her.

        "You were no match for her, Sweetie," Kathryn told him through her laughter.

        "I know exactly who she takes afters," he said with a big smile. He took a drink from his soda. "And she always has the best ideas."

        Kathryn pulled out some grapes from the ice chest. Picking one off, she held it over her husband's mouth, "I have some good ideas of my own." She fed it to him. By this time, Tara pulled her camera back out and focused it on her parents. Click. She took one picture of them as they looked adoringly at one another, and then she took another shot as they leaned in to kiss one another. Click. If it turns out well, it will make a great anniversary gift, she thought.

        Xander tapped her shoulder and pointed at his watch. It was getting late. They stealthily left the clearing to finish their project.



        "I can't believe he let you take a picture from the roof," Xander exclaimed as he took a drink from his coke. The 2 of them sat at a corner booth in the Espresso Pump finishing off their late lunch.

        "I just explained it was for a very good cause," Tara smirked as she looked away, "and that we would came by here everyday for the next 2 weeks and buy something." Xander nearly choked on his last bite of sandwich. Tara laughed. "You'll thank me when we get an A."

        "We better," he mumbled. Xander ran his fingers through his hair, "I need to go fix my hair. I'll be back in a few."

        "More like an hour," Tara called back. Chuckling, she finished off her mocha. She slid so that her back was against the wall, and her legs stretched out on the long seat. Taking the camera, she pointed it at various scenes in the cafe. She saw the cashier helping out a customer. She saw a couple on the sofa in the back stealing kisses.

        Moving on, she noticed a red haired girl sitting by herself, watching the entrance expectantly. She kept glancing down at her watch. The sadness etched on the girl's face stabbed Tara right through the heart. Not knowing what possessed her, Tara pressed the shutter button on the camera. Click.

        She set the camera down on the table and was nearly out of her seat when Xander came out of the restroom. "Perfection achieved," he stated as he sat down. Tara turned to look at him, a little startled. She slid back to her previous position. The blonde looked back to the redhead, only to find her gone. Xander followed her line of sight and saw nothing. "What's up?" he asks.

        Tara shook her head. "Nothing." Grabbing her things, she stood. "Let's go drop the pictures off to get developed."



TBC

[WintersDreamer]

Heyya!



I'm really liking this fic. I like the way you are describing the bullying that is going on with Zander.

The scene with Tara catching her Mom and Dad on a picnic was sweet!

I'm worrying about Willow though...... so you really need to update soon!

[TemperedCynic]

I'm very impressed, this story is lovely. An interesting starting timeframe (14 years old) and an unexpected friendship between Xander and Tara. And who might that sad redhead be? Only a picture to go by. Please continue.

---

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[TexanZeppo256]

oooh, adolescent love... gotta love it



I really like the story that you've set up: Tara having a decent family for a change and befriending Xander like that.



I also love you you express Tara's artistic side through her photography. Most kittens tend to write Tara's artistic side through either drawings, sketches, or singing, and no-one (to my knowledge) has ever had Tara have a yen for wielding a 50mm lense. So this unique spin on one of Tara's more universal characteristics is very refreshing. Great choice! Never would have thought of it myself



...and that's saying a lot *cough*yahright*cough*



Anyways, I can't wait to see how you have the two interact with one another.



A few questions though: Is Tara wiccan, a-religious or something else? Does Tara know that she is gay or does she simply know that she does NOT like boys? Also, is Xander gay or isn't he? Never quite figured that one out And one last thing (though I almost know for certain that you'll answer these 2 questions in the next update[s] ): Is Willow also gay (yet), and who was she waiting for at the coffee shop?



Anyway, thanks for writing this fic! Its a welcome addition to the Kittenboard and I (along with several other kitties, no doubt ) can't wait to read some more update-y goodness from this fic.



Dosvidaniya!

---------------------------------



There she is! There she is... ahh... Not so wounded as we were led to believe... So much the better. --Khan, "Star Trek II: WOK"



From The Land of Tolerance,

---The Texan Zeppo

[Cherry Avenger]

First off, I would like to thank all those who have responded with extremely kind words. You literally had me popping up from my seat to jump up and down for joy. Thank you!!!



Second to those who had specific questions. Many of them will be answered in time.



I well remember how things were extremely confusing when it came to thinking about my sexuality. Xander, at this point in time just hasn't figured it all out yet. Definitely some interesting develoments in store for Tara in the next part (which is already underway).



As for the young redhead...you'll have to wait and read.



Now about Tara's religion, she's not Wiccan in this story. Religion will not be a major part at all. Though i reserve the right to change my mind at any time.



My sincerest thanks,



Cherry Avenger

[BytrSuite]

This is a really interesting story you've got going here. I'm enjoying it.



It's nice to see Tara with two happy parents. Interesting that you have her befriending Xander. I like that you have her being into photography, I think it really rings true to her character.



Looking forward to more.

________
"Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment and insanity to my list of things I did today."
"Ah! You, too?"
(Stitch laughs delightedly)

[sam darls]

I absolutely loved this part..and she has finally noticed willow..woohoo. Love sammi xx

[snuggle79]

Lovely! I loved the interaction between Tara's parents. I think it's a rare thing to see Tara's parents both happy in a fic.

I had a feeling that she wouldn't miss the chance of taking a nice pic of Willow. I can't wait for more!

Great update!



snuggle79

This is how everyday should end and start ..and all the stuff in the middle

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[StrangeQuark]

Beyond the very clever and original plot and setting that you're using here, I love the style. You've got some great flow going on, mixing your dialogue and action. I also like the mundane details, for example, Xander rolling the skateboard while waiting on the swing. They really paint the scenes and establish mood in a subtle way. There's a lot of craft to this work. There's also the great characterizations and plot, which keep me, and so many others, coming back for more.



Summary:

Well done.



-SQ

[Cherry Avenger]

sorry its taking me longer to write this because i've been pretty sick lately. Here's what i have completed so far.



part 3A



Disclaimer same as in the first post.



        Tara sat indian style on her full size bed. Her science book and binder streched out before her as she wrote on the notebook in her lap. A perplexed looked crossed her face and she started searching through the science section in her binder full of notes. "Hey, Xander," she called over to the boy who sat with his legs up on her window seat. "What had Treptick said about chemical reactions? I'm pretty sure that'll be on the final tomorrow." She waited for his answer as she scanned the last couple of pages of notes. "Xander?" Still no answer

        She looked up to find him staring intently out the window. Sighing, she stood up and went over to find out what was so interesting. "So the only reason you came over today was to gawk at Angelo Deknight?" she asked sarcastically as she watched her next door neighbor doing laps in his pool.

        Xabder turned to glance at the blonde with a nervous grin. "Tara, you are my best friend, and I won't lie to you," he stated as he went back to his boy-gazing. Her mouth dropped. She picked a stuffed teddy bear up off the floor and hit him over the head with it. "Hey!" He started laughing. "You know I'm kidding. I'm here to help you cram, but I just can't help getting distracted by a cute boy in swim trunks." His eyes bugged out a little as Angelo, his black hair slicked back, stepped out of the pool and started toweling off.

        Tara shook her head at her friend. "Isn't it living a little dangerously to be drooling over Liam's older brother?" she asked as she watched Angelo walk back into his house. She went back to her bed and books and laid down on her stomach.

        "I could care less about Liam," Xander said as his little show ended. "Angelo is just too cute to be ignored." He went to kneel on the floor, laying the upper half of his body on Tara's bed. He leaned in and loudly whispered, "In fact, I even overheard Liam's girlfriend, Dru, say that she only dates him to have a reason to go over to his house and flirt with Angelo. Everyone is just in love with him."

        "I'm not," Tara stated as she worked on her notes. She glanced up and saw the shocked expression on Xander's face. "He's just not my type," she said a little defensively.

        Xander got up and started pacing. He was gesturing elaborately. "Not your type? Tall, dark and broad shoulder is not your type. How can he not be your type?" He stopped in front of her and asked, "What is your type?"

        Her eyes widen as she was put on the spot. She shrugged. "I d-don't know. Never really thought about it." She tried to go back to studying, but Xander wouldn't stop watching her. "Can we study now?" she pleaded. She purposely started reading a passage about microbiology in her book.

        He contemplated her a moment more and then spoke. "You know, in the eight months I've known you, you have never once mentioned that you thought a guy was cute. Weird." He grabbed his books off the window seat. "What were you saying about Treptick?" he asked as he settled on the floor with his back against the bed.

        "What's weird?" Thoughts of studying disappeared as Tara pushed her school things off to the side. "Why is it so weird that I'm not boy crazy like someone I know?"

        "You're a teenage girl," Xander quipped. He looked up at her and saw her arched eyebrow. "Seriously. We are in a school full of teenagers, and most conversations tend to be about who likes who." Xander looked meaningfully at her and asked, "Do you even like guys?"

        "Of course, I like guys," Tara exclaimed in a high pitched voice. She leapt up from the bed and stared down in shock at him. "What makes you even think that I don't?"

        "Four reasons." Xander nonchalantly leafed through his notebook. "Amanda Olsen, Kelsey Harper, Karah Andersen, and Lisa Smith."

        "The cheerleader wannabes," she stated in disbelief. "What about them?" The blonde went over to her dresser and started rearranging her trinkets and jewelry boxes.

        He looked up at her and smirked, "I've seen you check out each of them."

        Tara slammed down a unicorn statuette. "I have not...how can you...I'm not like that. Just 'cause I hang out with you doesn't make me gay." She saw Xander's brown eyes harden. "I d-didn't m-mean it," She stammered.

        Before anything more could be said, Tara's mother knocked on the door. Poking her head through, she asked, "Xander, sweetie, are you staying for dinner? It'll be ready in a few minutes."

        Xander took a long look at Tara. "No thanks, Mrs. M," he replied as he started shoving his things into his back pack. "I better get home." Kathryn let him pass her as he went down the stairs. "See you tomorrow, Tara," he called without looking back.

        Unsure of what happened, Kathryn asked, "Everything okay, Tara?"

        "Everything's cool, Mom," Tara said, not ready to relate anything to her. "I'll be down in a few minutes." Kathryn nodded and shut the door behind her. The blonde reached under her bed and pulled out a small photo album. The first picture inside showed Tara blowing out the candles on her birthday cake with Xander right next to her. She skimmed ahead a few pages and stopped at the picture she took of Xander that day they worked on their history project. Her eyes teared up. Rubbing her eyes, Tara opened to the last page in the album. It was the picture of the redhead. "I'm so confused," she started crying.



TBC

[sam darls]

Aww..poor tara and xander, I hope they work it out. I hope you're feeling better too . Love sammi xx

Edited by: sam darls at: 12/5/03 1:31 am

[StrangeQuark]

Good conflict here. It really makes me feel for the characters. I also like the way that Xander confronted Tara's questionable orientation. It all seemed very natural and spontaneous.



I'm looking forward to Tara getting to meet the redheaded girl. Maybe they'll make some kind of connection?



-SQ

[Aine]

i like this story!!!!...and i like the fact that you made xander and tara best friends, and xander gay...lol, i always thought he should be. i can't wait to read more.



Aine

[halfsmile]

Hey, I hope you felling better!!





This fic is great, I never seen nothing like...Ya know, they having 14 and stuff...I liked!! Hehe.

And poor Tara all confused



I hope you update soon...

Kisses, -Halfsmile-

[TemperedCynic]

In eight months Xander has made peace with his own self-doubt. He is gay, he likes boys. Yet Tara hasn't made any progress at all. In fact, it's never come up before in conversation. Xander had to watch his friend for visual clues to his friend's feelings. The argument was brilliant: anger and heartfelt denial from Tara; anger with a hint of betrayal from Xander. This could end their friendship if not repaired. Hopefully they will make the right decision and talk this through. Tara, however, must think hard about her feelings. Xander will want to confront her again and she must be prepared. Finally, the photo of the lonely red-haired girl. My guess is that Tara is confused because she is crushing on a girl, a complete stranger to boot. A lot to think about... Brilliant.

---

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[Axel Avalon]

Bravo!!! Very well written I aqm loving every minute of it. Keep up the good work.

- - - - - - - - The greatest human accomplishment is being able to go to ones grave knowing that at some point in your life you loved someone completely............... that and that you had some good fucks.

[Cherry Avenger]

Thank you everyone. I am feeling a little better. Here is the next little part. There will be a 3c and i will try to finish it before my birthday trip next Thursday. (the major reason why i must get healthy quick) Hope you enjoy it.



Part 3B



        Kathryn placed the cooling kettle back on the stove. She held her cup up to smell the rich scent of rose before taking a long sip of tea. After taking a moment to let the calming effect flow over her, she began her nightly routine. She double checked the lock on the back door and went room to room shutting off all the lights. After checking the lock on the front door, she reached the family room where the blonde woman found her young daughter still up watching t.v. Tara shifted restlessly from lying down to leaning against the armrest. She didn't notice her mother as she aggresively flipped channels. "Sweetie, shouldn't you be in bed?" Kathryn asked, breaking Tara's trance.

        Tara glanced over at her mother. "I'm having trouble shutting my mind down," she replied with a shrug.

        Kathryn set her tea down on the coffee table as she leaned over to kiss the young blonde on the forehead. "Well, it might help if you shut off the t.v. and went to bed," Kathryn chuckled. As she pulled away, she pulled the remote out of Tara's hand. She pressed the off button. "Goodnight, Sweetie."

        Tara watched her mother pick up her tea and start her trek up the stairs. Running her fingers through her long hair, Tara called out, "Mom?" Kathryn paused on the third step and looked at her daughter. "Can I talk to you?" Tara asked with a nervous grin.

        "Sure, Tara." Her mother came down and sat next to her on the couch. "Is it a 'silly talk'?" she asked as Tara curled up next to her. Without thought, Kathryn started caressing the silky tendrils of her daughter's hair.

        "No, it's a s-s-serious talk," Tara stammered as she grabbed Kathryns free hand and played with her fingers.

        The older blonde noticed the stutter, and her heart went out to the pain and anxiety Tara must be feeling. "Is everything okay?" she asked already knowing the answer.

        Tara tried calming herself. "Xander asked m-me s-something, and I kinda freaked out. I w-w..." Tara took a deep breath. "I wound up saying some mean things. He h-hates me now." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she hid her face in her mother's shoulder.

        Kathryn fully embraced her distraught daughter. "I'm sure Xander does not hate you. No one ever could," She assured her. "What did he ask you?"

        Tara looked up, fear in her eyes. "If I-I-I t-tell y-you, y-you mm-m-might h-hate mm-me, t-too."

        Kathryn cupped her face with her hands and wiped away the tears. "Tara, I love you more than I could ever fully express to you. There is nothing on this earth, or beyond, that could make me hate you."

        "Even if I-I'm not sure I l-like boys or g-girls?" Tara cast her eyes down, unable to face her mother.

        Kathryn put her finger under Tara's chin and lifted her gaze up. "Let me see my daughter's beautiful sky eyes," she stated as she poured all her love into her own gaze. "If you ever bring home a wonderful caring woman who loves you with everything she is, I would be the happiest mother ever known to mankind. Why? Because if she makes you happy, then that's all I need."

        Tara blushed as her lop-sided grin emerged. "I'm not even sure what I like," she laughed a little manically.

        The same grin appeared on Kathryn's lips. "It doesn't matter, Sweetie. Whatever you choose, as long as you're happy." Tara hugged her mother tightly. "You ready for bed now?" she checked as she returned the embrace enthusiastically.

        "Yes. I think my brain can shut up now," Tara replied as they headed up to bed. "I wish it wasn't so late so I could call Xander and work stuff out." They stopped outside their respective rooms.

        Kathryn leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "I'm sure everything will be fine tomorrow. Goodnight, Sweetie."

        Before she could open her bedroom door, Tara asked, "Please don't say anything to Donnie or Dad."

        "I won't. Now get to bed. You have the rest of your finals tomorrow." Kathyrn entered her room, shutting the door behind her.

        "Goodnight, Mommy," Tara called out as she closed her own door.



        Tara tossed her backpack in her locker. She quickly dressed for P.E. hoping to have a moment to talk to Xander before class started. As she waited outside the boys' lockerroom, Liam came out followed by a couple of his cronies. "Fag boy is taking his time preening himself. Gotta look good for P.E." the blond boy sneered as he walked by her. His friends' laughter rang as they made their way to the gym.

        Tara frowned as she thought, I'm so not in the mood for him. Tara's protective streak kicked in as another thought occurred to her. "Hey, Liam," she called out as she turned around.

        The group of boys stopped before the entrance to the gym. "What do you want, Maclay?" Liam strutted towards the blonde. "You in need of a real man to hang out with?" His lips pursed together in a mixture of a grin and sneer as he looked down at her.

        Acting braver than she really felt, she looked up at him with an arched eyebrow and a grin. "Just w-wanted to ask you something."

        "If it's for a date, the answer's no." He laughed as he looked back over at his friends. The cronies chimed in with their own laughter.

        Unfazed, Tara shook her head. "No date. You're with Dru. Though I have heard she hangs all over your brother more than she does you."

        Liam got deadly close in her face. "I don't hit girls, but another comment like that, and I might make an exception," he hissed through clenched teeth.

        Tara shrugged as she took a step back. The blond boy spun around and headed for his friends. "I have noticed," Tara said as he walked away, "that you pay a lot of attention to whatever Xander is doing. You sure you don't have a crush on him?" A chorus of "ooo's" followed. Liam faced her with pure hatred. Tara was about to bolt when she saw him rush towards her with his fist raised. He never made it as a dark blur ran in the way and pushed Liam down with all the force he could muster.

        "Don't you ever touch her!" Xander exclaimed as he stood over the blond bully. "Ever!"

        Xander's moment of glory was short lived as Coach Hemrin burst through the gym doors. "What the hell is going on here?" he yelled as he took in the scene.

        Liam scrambled to his feet. He thought better of getting Xander in trouble when he realized that they would say he was going to hit a girl. "Nothing, sir." he muttered. Everyone shook their head in agreement.

        "Then get your butts in here now." The coach pointed towards the court. Everyone rushed to their spots in line. Tara wanted to show her gratitude to her friend, but he avoided eye contact, keeping his gaze straight ahead. The blonde kept twisting her fingers in the hem of shirt while the coach stepped in front of the class. "Alright, people," Coach Hemrin bellowed out, "Today is the last day to complete your fitness tests if you would like to pass P.E. Boys with me. Girls go with the school nurse, Mrs. Schunks." As everyone began to separate, Xander ran over to the gathering boys without a backward glance at the blonde. Tara's heart fell as she watched him hurry away. Nurse Schunks called all the girls to attention, and Tara was left to her thoughts as each girl was called to perform pull-ups.



TBC

[sam darls]

That was really really good. I loved the way that Xander and Tara stuck up for each other..so lovely. Love sammi xx

[Cherry Avenger]

Part 3C



        Well, the only other places he could be hiding are the library or the boys bathroom...I hope he's in here, Tara thought as she entered the school library. She scanned the nearby computer terminals and study tables for the dark haired boy. A couple of people glanced up at her as she passed by. No Xander-shaped friend in sight yet. She started walking along the many rows of books. Not finding him on the ground level, she started up the stairs to the second floor. She checked her watch. Got a little over 15 minutes left before the bell rings, she thought determined to find him.

        Tara stopped dead in her tracks as she passed the third aisle. I did not just see who I thought I saw. She pulled her hair behind her ears and stealthily tiptoed down the fourth row. About midway down, she pushed a couple of books to the side and gazed down at a young red haired girl. The girl sat on the floor, engrossed in the thick book that sat in her lap. Oh my god. Oh my god. Tara ducked down next to the shelving cart before she drew attention to herself. It's her. I can't believe it's her. Tara slid her backpack off, and stood again checking to make sure she wasn't imagining things. To her surprise, the redhead had put the big book back and was scanning the surrounding titles. Eek!, she thought as she dropped back down before she was caught. This is ridiculous. I should just go and talk to her. All I wanna do is make sure she's not sad anymore. Tara reached for her backpack, but stopped. What if she talks to me....what am I supposed to say back? Hi, I'm Tara. I once took a picture of you without your permission and have been wondering about you ever since. Yeah, that'll go over well. Stalker much.

        "Are you finding everything okay, dear?" An elderly woman whispered from behind Tara.

        Completely startled, Tara said a little louder than she intended, "I-I'm o-o-okay." She reached for her backpack. As she swung it towards her shoulder and took a step back, the school bag knocked over the shelving cart full of books. The loud crash rang out in the relative silence of the library. "O-oh g-g-god. S-so s-s-sorry," she stammered as she fell to her knees to pick up the mess.

        "Tara?" asked Xander as he came from the back corner. "You okay?" He started helping her and the librarian clean.



        So many books, so little time, the young girl thought as she brushed stray red hair out of her eyes. Her eyes followed her fingers as they brushed along the spines. Her gaze fell to her watch. Oh, break over. Mr. Micalla will be mad if I don't get back to the counselor's office. It wouldn't do to be late. I hate to be tardy. Punctual Girl, that's me.... CRASH!!! Broken from her rambling, the girl looked into the next aisle to find a girl and the librarian picking up books. I should help, she thought as she started towards them. Then her little alarm on her watch started beeping. Darn it...sorry. She rushed down the stairs and left the building.



        Tara realized the redhead was gone. So after many apologies to Mrs. Snider, she followed Xander to the back of the library where his backpack laid on a small study table. Xander grabbed for his bag and stared out the window. Tara noticed his history book laid out on the table unopened. "I th-thought we t-took our history final already," Tara whispered, breaking him out of his reverie.

        He shook his head to clear his mind. "Huh?" Xander quickly collected himself. "Yeah, I was just checking some of my answers from yesterday," he said as he flipped opened the cover before shutting it again. "Actually, I thought I had pulled out my science book. Guess I didn't get much cramming done."

        Tara sat down with her backpack in her lap. She fiddled with the zipper for a moment before she started, "I'm sorry, Xander, about last night. I just kinda freaked out." She hoped to meet a smiling face when she looked up, but all she saw was Xander staring down at his book. The blonde sighed as she stood up to leave. "Th-thanks for earlier, too. The thing with Liam." She turned away.

        Xander reached out and grabbed her by the hand. He looked at her like a kicked puppy. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have pushed." He entwined their fingers and tightened his grip a little.

        Tara laid her other hand over theirs, and smiled as she gazed down. "Actually, I may have needed that push." She took a deep breath. "There's something I need to talk to you about..." she started, but the school bell interrupted. "Time for class."

        Xander released their hands to put his book in his bag. "We better get going then," he said as they started down the stairs. Tara glanced nervously over at Xander. He smiled at her when he held the door open fo her. "You'll have to finish telling about this something on the walk home, okay?"

        Her lop-sided grin played along her lips. "Definitely." As they exited the library, they went to their separate classes happy friends once again.



        Scratching of pencils and pens were the only sounds as students worked on their art final. "A drawing, using pen, pencil, or color pencil, showing what we have learned about shading," the teacher had requested. Tara switched from her pencil to a silver colored pencil to give her unicorn drawing a flair of color.

        The blonde looked up when she heard someone whisper, "Hey, Tara." Next to her, sat a girl with dark blonde hair and pleading blue eyes that looked almost gray. "Can I borrow your eraser? Mine kinda died," she begged as she held up her nub of pink fiber with a grimace.

        Tara giggled silently and held her hers out. "Don't kill mine too badly, Karah," she joked. Tara's breath hitched slightly as Karah's fingers brushed over hers as she grabbed the eraser. Tara felt slightly perplexed, but continued work on her final. As the simple picture neared completion, Tara's mind started to wander. She glanced over to Karah, seeing if her eraser would survive the other girl's attempts at perfection. She's definitely a perfectionist, Tara thought as she took in the girl's appearance. Not a hair out of place. Color coordinates everything. I like her shirt, though. It looks really good on her. Tara's baby blues dipped a bit lower. Fits all the right places nicely... OH MY GOD!!! Tara jerked up in her seat and dropped her pencil as her mind screeched to a halt. I'm checking her out. I just checked out Karah Andersen. A girl!!! God, I hate it when Xander's right.

        Her eyes darted to Karah again, making sure the other blonde hadn't noticed Tara's actions. Karah was absorbed in her drawing, erasing a line that just wasn't straight enough for her liking. Just need to act normal. Tara attempted to finish her drawing, but couldn't find her pencil. Could've sworn it was in my hand. She located it on the ground under the art table which she shared with Karah and 2 other students. Tara couldn't reach the utensil with her hands or her feet, so she quietly slid out of her chair and ducked under the table to grab it. Tara's attention was drawn to Karah's toes playing with the rubber straps on her sandals. That's too cute. Her eyes wandered along the girl's legs to where they met denim. Those are really short shorts. Tara whacked the back of her head as she quickly pulled out from under the table.

        While rubbing the back of her head, she met some surprised and annoyed looks from those around her. Holding it up, she sheepishly whispered with a nervous grin, "P-pencil."

        "Alright, people, put the finishing touches on your work," the teacher announced. "The bell will be ringing in a minute."

        Tara gazed down at her drawing. I should get at least a B. She picked up her backpack and set it on the table. I definitely need to smack Xander. Things were less painful in my blissful ignorance, she thought as she rubbed the small knot on her head. Out of the corner of her eye, Tara saw a flash of red hair walk past the classroom window. At that moment, the bell rang, and without a second thought, Tara dashed out into the hall. Unfortunately, the short redhead was lost among all the other students piling out of their classrooms. I'm never gonna get a chance to meet her. Tara stood there forlornly.

        "I think you were a little too eager to get out of there," Karah giggled as she exited the classroom. In her hands, she had the now barely usuable eraser and Tara's backpack. "I handed in your drawing for you. It was really good." Karah held out Tara's things to her.

        Tara's breath stopped once again when their fingers touched as she grabbed her gear. "Th-thanks," she managed to say with a grin.

        The dark blonde smiled and took a few steps backwards. "Have a good summer, Tara," she said with a wave. She turned and walked down the hall.



        The rest of the day passed in a blur. There wasn't much opportunity to talk to Xander during their science class. As the last bell of the day rang, Tara met Xander out on the front lawn. "Graduation tomorrow," Xander announced as he fell into step with his friend. "Then a fun filled trip to the local amusement park."

        Tara noted the sarcasm in his voice. "At least when we graduate high school, we'll get Grad Nite at Disneyland." They walked along the streets of suburban homes.

        "True. I hear they have like dance clubs set up throughout the park," Xander said as he started busting a move.

        Tara lightly pushed past him, shaking her head. "No dancing for me. I don't dance. Just let me at those rides."

        "You'll see. By that time, I will have you shakin' your groove thang," the dark haired boy joked. "Anyways, did you still need to talk? About whatever?" He looked at her eagerly. He was so not prepared for the smack at the back of his head. "Owie. What was that for?" he asked while rubbing away the slight sting.

        Tara laughed as she started rushing ahead of him. "That was for what happened in art class. I hate when you're right," she called back to him.

        Xander stopped in his tracks. "Huh?," he pondered her words. "I was right? About what?" He ran to catch up with the blonde.

        Tara couldn't keep the smile off her face as she related her tale. "Well, it started when Karah Andersen asked to borrow my eraser..."





TBC eventually in Part 4

[sam darls]

Awww..I loved the update..soo good. And Mrs Snider..hehe. Love sammi xx

[halfsmile]

Quote:

---

Tara laid her other hand over theirs, and smiled as she gazed down.

---

Ahhh, this part was just too cute, I love the way u put they friendship.

Soooo...when we gonna see some Willow and Tara? hehe..

Great update,

-Halfsmile-

[Doppelganger5x5]

OOO yay! ive been waiting sooo long for an update! I love this story, so you made my day with that update...albeit it was a little short, but it should tide me over till the next one....which will be soon...right?Please?

I hate everything about you,why do i love you,You hate everything about me, why do you love me~3 Days Grace

Edited by: Doppelganger5x5 at: 2/21/04 12:29 am

[Cherry Avenger]

It's My Life

Part 4A

By Cherry Avenger



Disclaimers, see first part.



        Tara sat in her English class with her head resting in the crook of her arm. Her notebook was off to the side where she had idly doodled little kittens chasing a butterfly. She glanced up to see if the teacher, Mr. Tevinson, had placed a new sheet of notes on the projector yet. The bright light from the screen caused a small glare on his balding head while he sat on a tall stool reading aloud from his copy of Romeo and Juliet. Every five minutes, his glasses would slide down his nose, and he would absentmindedly push them back up and then scratch behind his ear. Only 4 more scratches until class is over, Tara thought. The tiresome teacher never once looked up at his nearly comatose class. With no new notes to copy down, Tara zoned out his montonous droning of the Shakespearean play.

        Every now and then, to stay awake, Tara snapped a hair band against the sensitive part of her wrist. I like Shakespeare, but this teacher is ridiculous. And it's only the second week of school. This is going to be a long year. Her mind often drifted to memories of the recent adventures she and Xander had experienced. Every Saturday over the summer, the daring duo would pick a direction and go off in exploration. Always taking her camera, Tara had gathered a nice collection of pictures. Xander played her model when she needed him.

        "One day when I'm famous, Tara, you'll be my official photographer," he told her as he posed extravagantly against a tree. "Hey, You're not supposed to burst into laughter," he exclaimed as she fell to the grass shaking uncontrollably with mirth.

        Her musing was cut off by a knock on the classroom door, and the entrance of the one person Tara was beginning to believe was a figment of her imagination. The red haired girl stood nervously in the doorway.



TBC