Okay, so update finally, sorry it took a while, stupid life got in the way, don’t you hate that?
Anyways, thanx again for all the lovely feedback.
Enjoy, I hope.
Part fiveTara opened her eyes then quickly shut them, the sunlight pouring through the window being too bright to take in after a long deep sleep. Trying again, she opened them just a smidge and looked over at the clock, it read eleven-thirty. Sitting up, she looked around Buffy’s living room to see –no one. Why didn’t anyone wake her up, she stood up and listened but heard no sounds, an indication she was alone in the house.
She walked into the kitchen and saw a half empty pot resting in the coffee maker on the counter,
“Ah, caffeine, my faithful companion.” She carefully placed a hand on the glass, warm, probably turned off a half hour ago. Figuring she’d have to heat it up anyways, she would just take a shower first.
She stopped when something caught her attention out the window. There was Willow, sitting cross-legged in the backyard. Her eyes were shut and there was a peaceful look on her face. Tara watched her for a moment; the sunlight cast a glow on the redhead that made Tara think she was angelic. Tara figured she was meditating.
Another moment passed before Tara tore her eyes from the window and headed upstairs for her shower.
About twenty minutes later, she walked back down into the kitchen, fully dressed but still not fully awake. Grabbing a cup from the cupboard, she looked back out the window, seeing the redhead open her eyes and stand up. Tara poured the coffee into the cup and was placing it in the microwave when Willow walked in.
“Morning, Willow.” Tara said cheerfully, suddenly and finally fully awake.
Willow gave a playful smirk. “Afternoon,” She corrected.
Tara snorted, “Uh, ye-ah, I guess it is. I must’ve been pretty out of it. Why didn’t anyone wake me?”
“Well, we were going to but…” she half-shrugged and grinned, “You looked so peaceful.”
Tara smiled, “Well, thanks, I guess I needed it. So, where is everyone?” she tried to keep a conversation going, before the inevitable silence would kick in, like most moments between the two.
“Oh, uh Dawn’s at school and Buffy had a job interview at the new high school, then she was going clothes shopping for the job, I mean presumptuous much, I mean you know… not that I’m saying she can’t get the job, it’s just and… I guess it’s a good thing to be optimistic and all…” Willow went on.
The corners of Tara’s lips grew upwards as the redhead rambled on. Willow was babbling, Tara remembered the redhead from her world and how when ever she did this, on the few occasions that they talked to each other, Tara always loved it. She realized this was the first time this Willow babbled to her and she was glad to see it, even if it did mean Willow was a little nervous at the moment. At least she was talking, that meant the tension was lifting some.
“… and I mean what kind of friend would I be if… if I wasn’t being you know… support-o gal, you know? I mean, Buffy needs all the support she can get, even though, she is the –a, slayer and all, so she can handle things on her own, but this is different, not like fighting monsters and…”
“Willow,” Tara hated to interrupt the cute babble fest but it didn’t seem Willow was going stop anytime soon, it was like Willow was holding it all in and it fought to come out all at once and besides, the redhead was starting to turn blue. “Breathe, okay.” The blonde couldn’t help giggling a little.
Willow took a deep breath and let it out before sheepishly smiling, “Sorry.” She said timidly.
Tara smiled at her, “its okay, I was just worried, thought you were going to pass out or something.” She said only half-mockingly concerned.
Willow laughed, “Yeah, thanks for that…” she trailed off, once again at a loss for words.
Tara nodded, “So…” and the awkward silence begins.
Both shifted on their feet, trying to think of something –anything, to talk about, to prolong the moment before it was lost, again.
All the tension was really getting to Tara, why can’t they just get pass this? She felt they just needed to talk about it, get it out of the way. That way they could just get to know each other. Unknown to Tara, Willow was actually thinking the same thing.
“Willow, I…”
“Tara, I…”
They started together, and then chuckled at themselves, somewhat uncomfortably. Tara took a deep breath and just got to it.
“Willow, I know, it’s weird and probably hard having me here but…”
“I know, Tara, and, at first it was a little hard but, I… I’m over that and right now I want to concentrate on getting to know you, now that I’m over the shock and everything. Not that I’m saying we should get to know-know each other but… I don’t know, do you get it?” she hoped to god Tara would understand.
Tara did, “That’s kinda what I was going to say…” she smiled, “only with less words.” She added jokingly.
“Yeah, good, that’s good…” she nodded to herself in a way Tara found so adorable.
“Good.” Tara grinned and thought of a way to start getting to know each other. “So, since it’s just you and me while Buffy and Dawn are gone, would you like to go with me to the Espresso pump,” she furrowed her eyebrows, “you do have one here, right? Please tell me you do!”
“Heh, like I’d live here if they didn’t!” Willow joked.
“Good, ‘cause I could really get out right about now, you know, something other than research and patrol.”
“Yeah, that’s cool, just lemme go get changed, okay?”
“Okay.” Tara watched Willow leave the kitchen. Well this should be interesting.
A few minutes later they left, the cup of coffee Tara left in the microwave completely forgotten.
~
When they arrived at the coffee shop, they purchased two mochas and sat down. Nerves once again kicked in and an uncomfortable silence set in. This time though, the awkwardness was one of simply not knowing where to start. After shifting in their seats and looking everywhere but each other, Tara decided to start simple.
“Okay,” she got Willow’s eager attention, “let’s start with the basics, likes and dislikes.” The redhead nodded and Tara went on, “favorite color?”
“Blue. You?”
The blonde smiled, “Green. Favorite movie?”
Willow relaxed some, these were easy, “Chicago, you?”
“Shrek.”
Willow laughed, “Really! I love that one too. Donkey is so funny, he’s my favorite.”
“Yeah, mine too, and it’s like I’ve seen the movie so many times I can’t even begin to guess how many and it still cracks me up every time.”
“Oh!” Willow’s eyes lit up, “I love the part when Donkey’s looking for the ‘blue flower, red thorn’ and he’s all, ‘this would be so much easier if I wasn’t color blind’.” She did her impression of the character which caused Tara to bust out laughing.
“Oh, my favorite is the information thing-y, you know…” she started singing the part, “’please keep off the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your –face.’” She stopped to laugh along with Willow, “The first time I saw that, I almost died laughing.”
After a few more minutes, the laughter died down to giggles, the two finally sobered enough to talk again. The tension seemed to fly out the door.
Tara cleared her throat, “Okay, your turn, ask me a question.”
Willow thought hard about it, what did she want to know; okay well she wanted to know everything, but let’s narrow it down. Even though they were asking the easy questions, she realized that it was just Tara breaking the ice, so she went in to the deeper ones.
“Um, I was kinda wondering, were you and the other me friends?”
“God Willow, obvious much?”Tara smiled a little, “Well, more like acquaintances, I…” she looked down shyly, “I was always kinda too nervous to talk to her.” The words flew out her mouth without meaning to.
Willow’s eyes went wide, “What! Why? I mean was I like, the cool kid or something?” she couldn’t believe this Tara would be so shy around her, especially if that Willow was anything like her, a hopeless geek.
“No, well I mean she was, at least I always thought she was but, she was considered an outcast by the others… like I was.” She added in a low voice.
Willow looked confused, “Well then, why so nervous?” she knew of one reason but didn’t want to fool herself into thinking this Tara could feel that way.
“Well…” okay, how was she going to backpeddle her way out of this one? “I um, was kind of shy. I guess I was afraid I’d… like start stuttering or something, you know?”
Willow thought a minute. “Yeah but still, I mean… I don’t know, I guess it’s just hard to believe anyone would be nervous talking to me, it’s just… weird.”
“Why would that be weird?” she couldn’t understand why it was so hard to believe, in her mind, Willow was really cool, she was smart and funny and caring and beautiful and sexy…
“Okay, stop right there, Tara!”Willow shrugged, “Well, I mean come on, like geek much!”
One side of Tara’s mouth lifted into a half-smile, “And what’s wrong with geeks?” she asked in a sly voice.
Willow opened her mouth then closed it, several times. Was Tara…? No, she couldn’t be… was she? “I uh… uh…”
The blonde chuckled; oh she could be truly evil sometimes. “Okay, my turn.”
Willow snapped out of her daze, “huh?”
Tara giggled at the redhead, maybe that was too mean? “My turn to ask a question.”
Willow caught on, “Oh yeah, go ahead, do your damage.” She said the last part in a deep voice, trying to lighten the mood and was rewarded with short laugh from the blonde sitting in front of her.
“Alright, um…” she wanted to avoid all the really hard ones, at least for now. But there was one thing she wanted to discuss but knew Willow wouldn’t want to talk about, which was the reason she was going to ask, just because she wanted to get it out of the way, and not because she wanted to open old wounds that were still not completely closed and probably never would be.
So she asked in a very subtle way, “I saw you meditating this morning, or rather afternoon, is it because of…” she left it hanging and hoped the redhead would elaborate. She already knew the answer; she had heard it from just about everyone else but wanted to hear it from Willow.
Willow looked down at her fidgeting hands and Tara instantly regretted asking, “Hey,” she reached over to place a hand on the redheads arm, “it’s okay, you don’t have to…”
Willow looked up into Tara’s eyes, “No, no it’s alright I…” she sighed, “its cool, I just… it’s hard to think about it, that’s all.”
Tara nodded and waited for the redhead to continue, not once taking her eyes off of Willow’s.
Willow took a deep breath and thought about how to say this, “After…” that was all she could get out about the cause of it, “I was lost, for lack of a better word, well you see… my magick was powerful to begin with and… I was letting it control me and that was the reason she left me. And after I quit magicks, she came back. But…”
Tara watched Willow rub her eye trying to assuage the tears that had formed, and then she continued, “I felt, there was no point anymore. I stopped caring.” Her voice went even lower, “I didn’t see the point in going on, not without her. I gave in to the magick… dark magicks, I sucked the books at the Magic Box dry and when that ran out I drained this dark warlock Rack for his magick. After I found out it was Warren who did it and shot Buffy, I… I, all I could think about was… him.” She tried but couldn’t get the words out, but still she didn’t even want to try and hide the venom in her voice when it came to Warren.
She paused and Tara waited patiently, she had heard all this before, but coming from Willow herself, it was actually kind of hard to hear. Her heart ached for the redhead. She wanted to stop Willow from having to go on with her story, and just hold her.
Willow stopped looking into Tara’s eyes and her head hung low as if she couldn’t look up, too afraid that Tara might be appalled at her. But she went on, “After I pretty much destroyed the Magic Box and h-hurt all my friends, even Dawn, Giles… I drained the magicks this coven gave him to help stop me, and I… I...” she contemplated her words, “I could feel everything, all the sadness and I don’t know, pain, in the world and all I could think about was ending it. Ending it all.
But then Xander showed up and… and, convinced me that I shouldn’t, see, the magicks Giles had, opened a tiny part of myself, the me that wasn’t magick. And that’s what stopped me.” She sniffled and wiped the tear that had escaped on her cheek. She heard Tara get up and without looking; Willow knew she was going to walk out the door. So she was more than surprised when she felt arms encircle her from behind. Not knowing what to do, she went on instinct and placed her own arms onto Tara’s.
It was a bold move, but after hearing Willow’s words, it was the only thing she could think of to do. Guilt was coming off the smaller girl in waves. She wasn’t asking for forgiveness but Tara knew she needed it. As far as Tara was concerned, it was already given to the redhead, from her friends and from her deceased lover, Tara knew it was given to Willow.
“I’m sorry, Willow.” She whispered into the redhead’s ear and placed a soft kiss on the side of her temple.
Willow let out a silent sob and tightened her hold on Tara’s arms before she murmured, “Thank you.”
“I know it doesn’t help but,” Tara took a deep breath and hoped even through the guilt Willow felt she would understand her words, “I don’t blame you, I… I would’ve done the same thing.” She let the redhead go to look into her eyes. “I don’t think anyone who has loved before could blame you.” She said wiping a tear from Willow’s cheek.
Willow slightly nodded, Tara wasn’t trying to assuage her guilt, that wasn’t possible and it’s what made Willow such a loving and caring person. She was only trying to comfort the redhead.
And for Willow it worked, she didn’t know whether it was talking about it or Tara’s thoughtful contact, but she felt better, not completely but it was an improvement. When Tara touched her in anyway, it soothed her, not like her Tara did. With her Tara it was… well, magical, for lack of a better term. But with this Tara it was another kind of energy all together, she didn’t know how to explain it. It was different but the effect was the same and that’s all that mattered.
Tara gave Willow’s arm one last squeeze before returning to her seat. “So you meditate to control the magick?”
“Yeah, after everything, I stayed at this coven in England, they helped me learn to manage it. They taught me some meditation techniques.”
“Does it help?” Tara asked.
Willow thought about it for a minute, “Yeah it does, I still have these… I don’t know…” she thought of a good word, “urges, you know, like the dark magick, it’s still there and it wants me to use it, but I dunno…” she sighed, “I just try not to use any magick at all, but, I know sometimes I have to.”
Tara simply nodded, she got her answers on the matter and now it was time to go on to another. “Okay, well I think a subject change is in order.”
The redhead nodded, she was totally in agreement, “I second that.”
“I believe it’s your turn.” Tara said as she took a drink from her now warm mocha.
Before Willow had really thought about it she blurted out, “Are you seeing anyone?”
Tara nearly choked on the beverage.
Willow’s eyes went wide, “Oh, I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer…” What was she thinking?
“You weren’t, that’s the problem,” her inner voice answered.
Tara was now laughing, “No, no it’s okay, really. I just… I wasn’t expecting that.” She tried to assure the redhead. After wiping her mouth she went on, “No, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”
“Well, why not?” She asked in disbelief. How could Tara not be seeing anyone?
“I mean, just look at her.”The blonde smiled at the question and the meaning behind it. “I don’t know, I guess…” She had to think about it. “I guess I just don’t really have the time.” It was the same old tired excuse. It’s not like she hadn’t been with anyone, of course she had but it was never really serious. The truth was she was never interested on any deep level. There was only one person she had ever really been serious about and kicked herself many times for never being able to let that go, to get over it.
“But you have before, right?”
Tara replied hesitantly, “Well, yeah I have but, you know… nothing serious or anything.” She didn’t know why she was so nervous about telling Willow that but… okay, yeah she did.
So many questions ran through the redhead’s mind. Did Tara date girls or boys? Did Tara want to be with anyone? Did she ever, um, ‘sleep’ with any of them? If she had, how many were there? She said nothing serious, how serious was serious? And so on and so on…
“Willow? Are you okay?” she kind of laughed the words out. It seemed the redhead was once again in her own world.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine, why?” she decided to put the questions on hold.
Tara chuckled, shook her head and shrugged, “Nevermind.”
They continued on with their ‘getting to know you’ game. They talked about family, friends, told stories about their experiences fighting evils on the Hellmouth, and little things like movies and music. They steered away from the deeper issues. And before they realized it, it was almost four-thirty.
“Wow, where did the time go?” Willow asked after looking at her watch.
“Well, you know what they say about time flying and all.” Tara casually threw out.
“Heh, yeah I guess. We should head back, Buffy and Dawn are probably wondering where we are.” Willow said as she stood up.
Tara joined her, “Yeah, you and me gone all afternoon, wouldn’t want the rumors to start flying too.” She said half-jokingly.
Willow chuckled nervously, “Uh, yeah, you, me, rumors, wouldn’t want that now.” She at least tried to sound convincingly.
Tara just shook her head and laughed to herself as Willow led them out of the Espresso Pump. Willow was just too cute sometimes.
~
Mr. Sorne straightened his expensive solid black tie impatiently. He hated this feeling, answering to a human, practically a child no less.
“So, she got away?” the young man barked at the vampire.
Mr. Sorne looked over at the minion on his right, who hung his head in what could only be described as shame. It made the older vampire disgusted. “I’m afraid so, Mr. Mulloch…”
“DON”T call me that.” The human demanded. He threw his lanky body into the leather desk chair before straightening out his Cannibal Corpse t-shirt. “You make me sound like my father.”
Mr. Sorne held back the urge to rip the humans throat out, oh how he hated this. He instead gathered all the pretend respect he could muster before correcting his choice of words, “Forgive me uh… Benny.” The young man nodded and the vampire went on, “The target has apparently come into contact with the other slayer, Buffy Summers. My boys were not expecting two slayers nor prepared to deal with it…”
Benny huffed, “Well there’s a fuckin’ shock.” Then muttered to himself, “Goddamn minions can’t even handle one slayer, useless bloodsuckers.”
As much as he loathed admitting it, looking back over to the minion, he agreed with the worthless excuse, even for a human, he had to call his boss.
Benny sighed, “So what about the other matter, don’t suppose you’ve managed to screw that up too?” God, how he loved having this power over the vampire, guess daddy was good for something.
Mr. Sorne took a deep un-needed breath, he was definitely going to have to find a metal-head boy to savagely rip apart later; after weeks of working for this human, it was quickly becoming his m.o., “it’s coming along just fine,” he said with the fakest smile he could manage, “She’s on her way as we speak.”
“Good.” He swiveled around in his chair, “Go. Get the other bitch, I dunno, wait till she’s alone or something. Just DON”T fuck it up this time and make it soon, I hate waiting.”
“Yes, sir.” You dim-witted spoiled little shit…
“Oh and Sorne…”
Mr. Sorne turned back around, “Yes, sir?”
Benny motioned to the minion, “Aren’t you going to take care of it?”
The minions yellow eyes became panicked as he looked back and forth between his Sire and his Sire’s boss.
Mr. Sorne nodded; of course he was going to have to take care of it. He picked up the stake lying on the side table and before the minion had a chance to run, like he had a chance, he was dust on the floor. After it was done Sorne turned and started toward the door. But not before he heard his boss call out to him.
“Oh and send someone in to clean that up.” He said referring to the pile of dust.
Sorne stopped but didn’t turn around, or else his boss would see his demon visage, “Yes, sir.” and continued to exit the office. Make that several metal-head boys.
eh?
Heey!!
Ghehe
more so....update soon agian?!!
by Red Jassy » Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:56 am 
yay 
great update.
hellow there!!
