It's "Remembering The First Time (You Said I Love You)" Mond

[Corinthian]

I was thinking earlier about "New Moon Rising" when Willow, confronted with Oz's return, chose instead to move forward with Tara. And those immortal words: "You have to be with the one you l-love." And, "I am. Okay?"
That started my drift down memory lane to my true love. (Which unfortunately didn't last, but that's another story.) So I thought this might be a decent jumping off point for the daily discussion thread.
For me, it was 4 months to day we started seeing each other. Being that my gf worked nights and I worked midnights (luckily in the same office), we didn't have much time to spend together, so we stole moments between shifts to go out for coffee, talk, hold hands, smooch, etc.
And this particular night, she looked at me and said, "you know, I really thought this was just a fling, but you've become a part of me, and I can't deny it -- I love you".
GULP, big time. Never really been in love before. Lust, yes. Unrequited feelings, sure. But love? Totally foreign territory. But I didn't even blink. The words came so easy. Because they were true. "I love you too."
And then we went outside and shouted it several times to the world, which you would think was fine because it was midnight, but this was midnight in a major city (Toronto) and several cars honked their approval. And the horns were a symphony.
Aah, to hear that song again... Someday. *Sigh*
Your turn.

Edited to add: and meant it. Sorry for the ambiguity.

[This message has been edited by Corinthian (edited March 18, 2002).]

[La]

Ugh, the very first time I said "I love you"? or the first time I said it and actually meant it? Back in high school, when I was still dating guys, I had 9 boyfriends in about a year (that shoulda told me something, huh?) and I think I told two or three of them that I loved them. The last one was the one I actually meant it with though. But better than me telling him I loved him was the way he told me: We had just spent a beautiful sunny June day (but not too warm yet) driving down to Chicago (from our suburb about 30 minutes north) to go to the Field Museum (of natural history), but it was closed because Princess Di was visiting. So we went to the Shedd Aquarium instead and then walked along the waterfront, noticing how we walked perfectly in step even though he's 6' and I'm 5'6", and just enjoying each other's company. Later, we rented a movie (Powder) and watched it in his den. We were laying on the couch together and looking at each other and enjoying some kissin' and he said "Lauren, I think I'm falling in love." *swoon* Still gets me all misty eyed thinking about it. That boy was (still is) amazing. We dated for 2 1/2 years and the poor dear had to go through my whole sexual orientation crisis with me. We're still good friends. Every once in awhile we remind each other of that day Gotta love best friends who used to be boy/girlfriends/lovers.

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~La

"No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will
come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~Hagrid, from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".

[This message has been edited by La (edited March 18, 2002).]

[Karzia]

The first time I said it and ment it I was standing in my bathroom, looking at my reflection thinking, "oh boy this means your Gay" followed by, I love her". Granted this may not count as the object of my love wasn't in the room, but it was they first time I had actually vocalized the words.

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Ad astea per asta

[Corinthian]

Yes it definitely counts. It came for your heart.

[Kieli]

This is a good and sensitive question. *ponders* I really don't remember the very first time that I said "I love you." to someone. Probably because I went through a series of crushes and, at the time, I probably really thought that I loved them deeply. The concept of love, even the feelings, sometimes can be really elusive.
There were a few people that I told that I loved them and thought I meant every word. But they didn't return the sentiment and I wasted a lot of time trying to convince them that I mean what I said.

In the end, though, my love for Diana was the most real. She never wanted anything from me, she never used me for anything, she never asked me to be something other than what I am. I admire your shouting your love out to the world. That must've been such a very liberating feeling. My problem is, I'm too damned reserved sometimes. The stories you all have shared are really touching and sometimes I find myself wistfully admiring your courage.

Toni

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"Sometimes, we just can't make it on our own. We all need someone to love us, to help remind us that there's good in the world, to keep us from going crazy."

Willow from Dacia's The Dreamer Awakes

[Willowhand]

quote:

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Originally posted by Karzia:
The first time I said it and ment it I was standing in my bathroom, looking at my reflection thinking, "oh boy this means your Gay" followed by, I love her". Granted this may not count as the object of my love wasn't in the room, but it was they first time I had actually vocalized the words.

---

Kind of the same thing happened to me. I had been developing a crush on my best friend for the longest time...and then, all of a sudden, I just said "Oh, my God...I'm in love with her" to myself, and realized it was true. Along with realizing I was gay. I sort of knew it beforehand, but this confirmed it. I still haven't told her how I feel, though...and this was 6 years ago. Just can't get the courage to tell her.

quote:

[Zahir]

The first time I said those words to someone was to a young woman in college. We had a relationship, but she never said them back. No surprise that didn't last. Alas, it left me extremely skittish to say them again with the lady I with whom I lived soon after.

The first time I said it to my current Lady was after we'd exchanged hundreds of emails, even building a website together. At long last she sent me her phone number. That night (within minutes actually) I called, and we exchanged those words.

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"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

[Kieli]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zahir:
The first time I said it to my current Lady was after we'd exchanged hundreds of emails, even building a website together. At long last she sent me her phone number. That night (within minutes actually) I called, and we exchanged those words.

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I'm curious, Zah. Had you as yet met her IRL when you said the words? If you hadn't, did you feel any trepidation about saying those words to someone you met online? (I'm only asking this because I've been there and that's how I met Diana....very very strange experience )

Toni

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"Sometimes, we just can't make it on our own. We all need someone to love us, to help remind us that there's good in the world, to keep us from going crazy."

Willow from Dacia's The Dreamer Awakesquote:

[iccle_eve]

in regards to :
Kind of the same thing happened to me. I had been developing a crush on my best friend for the longest time...and then, all of a sudden, I just said "Oh, my God...I'm in love with her" to myself, and realized it was true. Along with realizing I was gay. I sort of knew it beforehand, but this confirmed it. I still haven't told her how I feel, though...and this was 6 years ago. Just can't get the courage to tell her.

I told my bestfriend and the only reason i did it was to help me move on, and it did. Saying those words was one of the most difficult things ive ever had to say but even though i dont anymore and she didnt know return my feelings, i know i can say it and i know what it means. The pain was hell but it was worth to be happy with who i am.

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Evie

[Willowlicious]

I've been lucky in that my heart has somehow always known itself when it comes to love. I've always been very clear when I was truly in love and when I was...something else. I've only been in love twice.

The first time was with my first girlfriend (there were a couple of boyfriends before that). It was the beginning of my senior year at a boarding school. She and I had started a close friendship the year before and I had spent the summer painfully contemplating why I'd spent my entire junior year hanging out with a girl. Was I gay? I was nervous about seeing her again after three months apart. The school had a "social" the first night everyone came back to school and part of this silly event required you to walk through a long line and shake hands with everyone. To me, all the students in the room seemed to be in black and white, while she was in color. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I was trembling by the time I reached her. We shook hands, locked eyes, and, in that moment, I knew I loved her. But I said nothing.

One evening a few weeks later, we were sitting on her bed in her dorm room talking. Suddenly, she looked at me, reached behind my neck and pulled me forward into a hot, wet, open-mouthed, tongue-teasing kiss. It nearly killed me. After I regained my senses, I finally said with a clear, solid voice, "I love you. I always have." About a week after that, we made love for the first time. It was the first time for both of us, which made it really sweet.

She was my first everything.

But she was not forever. Forever love came with the second person I ever said "I love you," to. That story on another day....

Amy

[This message has been edited by Willowlicious (edited March 18, 2002).]

[Kieli]

*sigh* I think I like that story....planning on telling the second half anytime soon? I'm a sucker for romance

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"Sometimes, we just can't make it on our own. We all need someone to love us, to help remind us that there's good in the world, to keep us from going crazy."

Willow from Dacia's The Dreamer Awakes

[bearskeeper]

The first time I ever told someone I loved them was to a guy - it was the moment I realized that I actually was gay and it wasn't a phase. He said it to me first (we had been dating for 3 years), and when I told him I loved him too (and I really thought I did), I realized how wrong it felt. I just knew right then that I wasn't meant to be with guys. We broke up 6 months later, and 3 years later I finally came out to him. We're still best friends...It's great.

[Dr.G]

Ho hum, does it have to be a romantic "I love you?", if so I'll have nothing to add other than that I am bummed because it is raining on the one day I don't have to work.

[Anakin1218]

The first time I said 'i love you' was: saying goodbye to Reba after spending three weeks w/th her @ school(totally spur of the moment but hey that's love); Id needed a place to stay while things at home cooled down. She was going back to stay with her parents and I was headed back to I knew not what hell on my end,in those weeks we reliazed that we loved each other(my first serious relationship). So standing at the train station(little teeny dinky one too I whispered 'i love you' and she lit up like a Christmas tree My heart was in my mouth and I was all nerves,we snuck a quick smooch(had to be clever cause her dad was waiting for her) and than she left As melodramatic as it now sounds,I honestly thought I was never going to see her again(we'd orginal met ol).

That will two years ago this May She's still with me and the light of my life

So thats my story,off to hit the textbooks(grumble grumble grumble),it's too nice outside to be stuck inside!! Today's my first day back @ school and Ive had enough of being stuck inside!!! Ahhh spring fever

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"My heart doesn't stutter" -Tara

[Kieli]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dr.G:
Ho hum, does it have to be a romantic "I love you?", if so I'll have nothing to add other than that I am bummed because it is raining on the one day I don't have to work.

---

Well I think a general "I love you" to a friend qualifies, Garfield. Spreading the love is something that I'm sure everyone can appreciate. Given out "I love yous" lately?

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"Sometimes, we just can't make it on our own. We all need someone to love us, to help remind us that there's good in the world, to keep us from going crazy."

Willow from Dacia's The Dreamer Awakesquote:

[Ryath]

These stories have been incredibly sweet, it makes my heart go all mushy

MY story Kinda long, I guess, but it's a happy story!

The Set Up:
The first girl I got with was also my first long-term relationship but...well...it was over a long time before it actually ended, and it left me really emotionally scared in a lot of ways. She sorta messed around, and she did that thing where she was just really mean to me in order to get *me* to spur the breakup, rather then her. Afer the breakup, she acted as if the 3 years never happened. It was incredibly painful and I was really confused.

Anyways, at the time, I was the only girl in an all guy band. A few months after the g/f breakup, the band announced that we were auditioning a new bass player...and it would be a girl.

So, we all arrived at her house and jammed. She was really one of the best bassists I'd seen, male or female. She was incredible. I was so taken with her. I had no idea if she was gay or not...until the end of the jam session when she introduced me to her bass, "Angelina".
"As in Jolie?" I asked. "Totally," she replied. "I love her!" That was...a pretty good indicator, I think. I just answered, "Who doesn't?".

So...all of a sudden, I started REALLY looking forward to band practices. i'd be like..embarassed to play in fron of her. I'd be sitting there, with my guitar, watching her do her little shimmy when she played bass. i'd go out of my way to try and sit beside her, or compliment her...you know, the usual stuff. and I'd take every look or move as a possible sign that she did or didn't like me. I was a WRECK!

We ended up having to spend a lot of time together, being in the band and all. And the whole time was TORTUROUS for me. I can't explain it. I was so GONE for this girl. One night, we all went out and ended up staying out too late for me to go home on the TTC. Helena offered to let me stay at her place. I had a little mini-heart attack and accepted.

We talked ALL night. We watched "Girl, Inturrupted". We talked about how her parents and most of her friends didn't know she was gay, and how her ex-girlfriend was being really mean and all, and how she wished she had gay friends. I said I'd be her gay friend. Heh.

Ok..a few more things happened, but it's stuff that you wouldn't be interested in. Let's just say that for a long time, I was actually losing sleep over her.

One night after another show, a bunch of us went back to her place to play video games. One by one, as the night wore on, people left, Until it was just me and her. It was around midnight, and she told me she was tired. Too tired, she said, to pull out the extra bed. Would I mind if we just slept "upstairs"? I had no idea what that meant, but I didn't REALLY care atthat point.

She meant we would sleep in her room...in her bed. Both of us. I just sorta lied down all rigid like and she kinda snuggled up to me. And then she started to get all stuttery, talking to me about how she wished she was older. (I was going in to my first year of uni, and she was just starting grade 13). And I was like "Why?" and she said she didn't know. And then she started sorta hitting her head with the pillow and sighing and being all cute. And I was DYING. I honestly didn't know what to do. I thought..this could be a really good or really BAD time to say something. And then i sorta felt her foot touch mine underneath the covers and so I got up the courage to say: "Uh..Helena? I uhm...kinda like you." And there was this huge pause, and I was like..oh Shit Then she said "Oh yeah? Well....me too." It was like..my dreams coming true. Apparently she had been sweating over me ever since we met as well. So all this time we had been like...absolutely torturing ourselves when we didn't have to. That same night, she told me "I think I'm kinda...well..falling in love......uhm......with you."

And i was stupid. After my whole first relationship thingee I was SURE that if she really knew who I was she WOULDN'T love me anymore. And so I told her there was a chance that if she got to know the real me she really wouldn't like me. And she said in all seriousness: "That's so silly.I could NEVER not like you." And of course my heart just melted right there. It took me a few more days to get the courage tell her what I already knew. After that, we'd hold hands under the table at band meetings, and steal kisses when nobody was looking. And she'd look so sweetly at me when she played her bass. Aww..it's makin' me all teary just thinking about it.

Anyhoo, a year and a half later, we're still soo stupidly in love I can't even TELL you.

*sighs* I love thinking about that night.

[Kieli]

*sniff* *wipes away happy tears and claps appreciatively* WONDERFUL!! WONDERFUL!! *sigh* You people just love making me a happy ball of mush, don't you?!

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"Sometimes, we just can't make it on our own. We all need someone to love us, to help remind us that there's good in the world, to keep us from going crazy."

Willow from Dacia's The Dreamer Awakes

[Tiggrscorpio]

My g/f and I had been dating on again and off again for awhile. It was a difficult situation, because she worked for me and I was really struggling with the whole concept. She had said the words to me, but I had not said them back.

We were in the midst of another fight about my not being able to handle being both her boss and her g/f. My parents were in town for my niece's graduation and were staying in the hotel that we both worked at. She came up to their room to meet them. Though we had been fighting all day, the instant I opened the door, I knew I loved her. It was the first and only time I have been "in love." I didn't say anything at the moment, because I wasn't out to my parents, yet.

She was working that night and leaving the next morning to go on vacation. I called her at the hotel, to tell her I would miss her. She asked me why. And I said, "because I am hopelessly, desperately and totally in love with you."

She said, "It's about time."

We aren't together anymore, but I will never forgot that moment or the first time she told me that she loved me.

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She's my everything!

[grifter]

Awwww, your stories are all sooooo sweet..."When I grow up, I wanna fall in love too, mommy!"

Darn, I actually am all grown up now...well, I guess I´d actually have to go out or something to meet somebody to fall in love with... ;(

[Pixie]

These are fabulous stories!!! It gives me hope.

[Tiggrscorpio]

My g/f and I had been dating on again and off again for awhile. It was a difficult situation, because she worked for me and I was really struggling with the whole concept. She had said the words to me, but I had not said them back.

We were in the midst of another fight about my not being able to handle being both her boss and her g/f. My parents were in town for my niece's graduation and were staying in the hotel that we both worked at. She came up to their room to meet them. Though we had been fighting all day, the instant I opened the door, I knew I loved her. It was the first and only time I have been "in love." I didn't say anything at the moment, because I wasn't out to my parents, yet.

She was working that night and leaving the next morning to go on vacation. I called her at the hotel, to tell her I would miss her. She asked me why. And I said, "because I am hopelessly, desperately and totally in love with you."

She said, "It's about time."

We aren't together anymore, but I will never forgot that moment or the first time she told me that she loved me.

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She's my everything!

[breaking]

I'd started dating this guy who was really sweet and nice, everything you'd want from a guy. Yet my best friend Nina hated him with a passion, but every time i asked her why she'd just say i could do better. I never thought anything of it, just my friend being protective of me. I had a crush on her but i didn't admit it to anyone or even dream of telling her.
Me and Ben had been dating for about 6 months when i got a call from Nina asking me to come round so i did. We were sitting outside on her porch and she told me she had seen Ben kissing some other girl. This lead up to us having a huge row in the street about how her she was jealous that i was happy. I asked her what her problem was and she didn't say anything so i began to walk off then she shouted "it's because i'm in love with you". You would think at that point i'd go back and say i love you too but i ran off in the other direction.
My mind was racing this was what i had wanted all along but i was happy with Ben. So do i ruin a perfectly good relationship for one that might not last. Well i followed my heart and it lead to her. I went back to her house, she opened the door and tried to slam it in my face (couldn't blame her). I looked at her and just said, "i'm sorry for the way i acted i like ben but i love you." I can't even begin to explain what i was feeling but i still feel it every time i'm with her now.

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where do we go from here?

[Chance]

Mmmm... nice question.

My best friend at the time was three years older. It's sort of inconsequential how we met, we just did and became instantly inseperable. This girl was my sunshine. She was everything I thought I could ever possibly want... Being with her was like being allowed to live in a dream. But I was young, and didn't even realize I was gay. In fact, I was pretty much convinced of my heterosexuality. I was casually sleeping with someone at the time, in fact.

One night, at a party, Abby came and found me under the guise we needed to talk. She pulled me into a bedroom, and there we sat. Neither of us said anything for awhile, we sat and looked at each other. Finally, I demanded to know why she had dragged me out of the party. Before I knew what was going on, the nicest sensation went through my whole body. She had kissed me, softly, chastely, closed lip but enough to severely rock my world. When it was over, I stared at her blankly. She leaned over, kissed my forehead, ran her finger back over my lips and walked out of the room. She stopped in the doorway. "Come find me when you know what you want."

Of course my whole world was in a messy tailspin. And of course I was effected by the whole thing... for three days, I did everything I could think of to try to understand why she had effected me so. And on that third day, I came to my conclusion. Abby effected me because she always had been able to effect me. I was in love with her. And I was scared absolutely senseless.

But I went to find her. And when I did, I looked her right in the eyes and told her that I was in love with her. I couldn't imagine having to deal with another day without being able to kiss her again. She kissed me again, this time thoroughly and properly, I sat down, a little dizzy (no, really) and then she whispered into my ear that she loved me too.

And that was it. It sounds pretty movie-ish, grandiose, I guess. Later, Abby would explain she couldn't deal with waiting for me to just "figure it out" anymore. So she'd kissed me, hoping that would be enough. She was petrified, she said, that I'd reject her. But if you knew her, you'd know there was no way to reject Abby.

M.

[Kieli]

M.

Ok, I asked for that....you went and made me dissolve completely. One day, I'll get up the courage to tell my I Love You story...for now, I could NEVER top that. Bravo

T.

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"Sometimes, we just can't make it on our own. We all need someone to love us, to help remind us that there's good in the world, to keep us from going crazy."

Willow from Dacia's The Dreamer Awakes

[Web Warlock]

Wow. These have been great to read.

The first girl I said I love you to was freshman year in college. I was totally obsessed with her. To make a long and sad story short, I told her I loved her and she slept with all my friends.

But, I will always forgive her because of the one thing she did do. She introduced me to the Second girl I said I love you to! And that girl was my best friend through out our entire undergrad years. She moved away and I stayed to go to grad school. We then decided now that we were living 300 miles apart to start dating.

In June, it will be the 9th aniversary of when I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me. In July it will seven years since we were married.

So Christy, if you are out there. You broke my heart back in '87. But you introduced me to the woman who would become the love of my life, my wife and the mother of my child. And for that, I will always be in your debt.

Warlock.

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Web Warlock
web.warlock@attbi.com webwarlock@planetadnd.com
Author, the Netbooks of Witches and Warlocks
The Other Side: http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/theotherside/
Shadow Earth Games: http://www.rpghost.com/WebWarlock/
The FanCC: http://www.enworld.org/fancc/
--
"And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel.
A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend." - Willow.

[This message has been edited by Web Warlock (edited March 18, 2002).]

[EvilAnya]

This thread put a big smile on my face

First time i said I love you? My best friend and i went to go meet a penpal she had for a long time who happened to live next door to my aunt, her penpal brought his best friend. We met up at the beach and the first time i saw him i thought "I'm going to fall in love". We clicked immediately, stayed up all night cuddling on the beach, the next day as i was leaving he took my hand and said "I think I'm in love with you" and i said "I love you" and I really really meant it, we were together for a long time but broke up eventually but are still good friends and we still love eachother(just not in the same way). But we've talked about our first meeting before and both came to an agreement that it was love at first sight. Yay for love.

[tommo]

The first time I ever said I love you was on my 21st birthday to the first girl I ever slept with. Hey, I was young. Innocent. Yep, there was a time when I was innocent.

She broke up with me the next day. Heh.

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You know I've been through hell...Joss can't you see, there'll be nothing left of me. You made me believe...

[Dr.G]

Oh lol Ruth, that explains a lot, you bitter old hag you. I love you to itty bits you know that right?

[Xanadu]

Awww...these stories are all so sweet

I myself have nothing to add, but I'm having a bad day, and your stories have cheered me up a bit. And made me bitter. Oh, well, can't win 'em all.

Glad you're feeling better Anakin!

Amy

[tommo]

Yes Garfield. The bitterness is strong. I suppose that's why I pretty much hate people, you know, because they screw you over.

However...I do love you. And I offered myself to you on the king sized bed last June. But you spurned me. *sob*

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You know I've been through hell...Joss can't you see, there'll be nothing left of me. You made me believe...