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[center]See Chapter One for disclaimers. Thanks again to Starcomed for all the help - now just get me off of Aussie time![/center]
Chapter Nine - Tingling Symptoms
Willow felt elated. The next few days with Tara went so well; better than well. She felt like their friendship was finally really on the mend. “Yea… us!”
She opened up her bag and pulled out something both of them had a copy of. A newly acquired prize she now kept with her and was reluctant to relinquish - the sonogram picture. Grinning, she held the image out in front of her. Then she slid it back into her bag, packing up her laptop as well. She was headed over to Tara’s.
“Good timing.” Buffy walked in, and she wasn’t alone.
“Wills!” Xander strolled in, with a wide smile on his face.
“Hey, guys.” Not bothering to look up, Willow continued packing up her stuff.
Buffy and Xander looked at each other; they had plans.
Willow turned around. She was about to slide her bag over her shoulder when Buffy walked over.
“I don’t think so Rosenberg.” Buffy grabbed the strap of Willow’s bag.
“Wha?” Willow gave her a look of surprise, and she tugged on the bag to no avail.
Stupid Slayer strength.
“Not happening Will.” Xander dropped an affable arm around her shoulders as Buffy took Willow’s bag and stowed it away. He steered her over to her bed as she swiveled her head around, keeping track of where Buffy was putting her things.
Willow sputtered in disbelief. “Ah, guys… um, what’s going on?” She knew full well what was going on, but she couldn’t help asking. Xander sat her down on her bed and took a seat next to her.
“Scooby Intervention.” Buffy and Xander simultaneously chorused. Buffy took a seat on her bed; opposite her two best friends.
“Listen, I’m fine. In fact, I’m fine-fine, super-fine, ultra-fine… and Tara’s expecting me. We were going to do the dinner-hang out thing.” Willow glanced at the clock. “And I’m gonna be late!”
“Look, I know we….” Buffy flashed her eyes at Xander. “…Haven’t exactly been the best of best friends, but we’re trying… more lately even though you appear to be trying less.” Buffy frowned a bit. “So, c’mon Will, what’s going on?”
“‘On’? Nothing, nada, nothing’s going on!” Willow gulped nervously.
What can I say? Hey guys, I gotta go take care of Tara because I got her pregnant? Uh-un, nooooo way. Tara doesn’t want me to just announce it? We haven’t even got that far. And, ok, having to admit to another embarrassing magick Willow-screw up….
Buffy shook her head. “Ok, you don’t have to tell us. But we are having a Scooby night…of the non-patrol variety.” She and Xander had decided to offer Willow their help, but if she refused, they could at least offer their company. It had been too long. And maybe, just maybe, offering to hang out would eventually lead to the revealing of some much-needed details.
“And, we’re not buying any of your excuses.” Xander squeezed her shoulders.
“Who, what?” Willow looked at her well-meaning friends.
“It’s Scooby night and we’ve got a party to go to!” Buffy smiled.
“Party?” Willow didn’t want to go and she frowned. “I’m not really in the mood.”
‘Mood’ is to see Tara.
“Yup, Lowell House party and there should be some cute boys there. When’s the last time you went out, just for fun? Maybe you’ll meet someone? You can invite Tara too!” Buffy gave her best winning smile. She and Xander wanted core Scooby night, but if Willow wanted to invite Tara, that was fine.
Willow furrowed her brow at the mention of ‘Tara’.
Tara wouldn’t be interested in a party full of boys, I mean, I’m not even interested! And Tara, partying in her condition? Nah-un, no, I don’t think so. Somehow, the thought seemed to really bother her, even though she knew Tara would never do something like that.
“Well, not so much with the boy-cuteness for me.” Xander joked. “But I hope, I’m kind of a cute guy myself… for the ladies that is, but I’m Anya-free tonight!” He knew Willow would have to be pleased about that, no Anya.
Willow was actually conflicted. Part of her wanted to go. Maybe it was nostalgia; or because she was feeling extra good, or maybe because it really had been a long time.
Buffy minus Riley and Xander’s going without Anya… best bud time? It has been awhile, plain old Scooby fun without others of the significant or demon variety. In Xander’s case, that’s both. A night without responsibilities sounded so appealing. Her brow creased as a feeling of guilt came over her. Then she drew a short breath. Another part of her just wanted to be with Tara. Not just because of the pregnancy, but also because she had really liked their time together, and things were finally getting back on track. She shook her head. “I shouldn’t. I have plans with Tara.”
“Consider it a kidnapping of the best friends variety,” Buffy nodded once.
“A Willow-napping.” Xander grinned like a goofball.
Knowing them well enough, Willow nervously looked her best friends. She was stuck. Either she needed to spill the truth now, or reluctantly go with them against her better judgment.
Maybe, if I go along I can just get it over with, and then cut out early? And, then still have time to see Tara. “Just let me make a call, ok?”
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Tara didn’t want to, but she couldn’t help herself. She turned to look at the clock in anticipation. So far, things with Willow were even better than she expected. “Daddy” did seem to care and was being supportive. That’s all Tara was hoping for and Willow had delivered, plus much more.
She should be here soon.
-- ring, ring --
Tara eyed the phone and climbed out of her chair.
-- ring, ring --
She picked up the receiver, already knowing who was on the other end.
“Hello? Tara?”
“Hi Willow.”
“Um, listen… this Scooby thing came up and I can’t stop by right away tonight. So, I have to cancel tonight’s dinner plans.” Willow winced, even as she said it. She didn’t want to tell Tara she was ditching her to go to a party, even if it was against her will. She also didn’t know how to code her words so that Tara would understand. Plus both her best friends were standing right there.
But it’s not really a lie; it is a Scooby thing. How can I ask to see her later… maybe I should just ask ‘ask’? She peeked sideways at her best friends and pursed her lips, slightly annoyed.
And maybe not.
“That’s fine, I understand.” Tara could hear the unease in Willow’s voice, but kept her reply upbeat and positive.
“Ok, I’ll see you maybe late…oh, well, no, you should sleep. Tomorrow, maybe? Just, uh, make
sure to have a
healthy dinner and get some
real rest.” Willow couldn’t stop her overly concerned reply, trying to stem off some of her guilt-ridden feelings.
“Thanks. I will.” Tara paused briefly. “Mm, is there some kind of big Hellmouth thing going on?” She tilted her head slightly unable to shake the feeling that something was amiss.
What’s going on? “Um, Willow, are you ok?”
“What do you mean? I’m fine, good.” Willow felt ashamed of herself when Tara inquired about her wellbeing.
I should just tell her, I mean I can’t help this… whatever this thing Buffy and Xander have planned. She was about to explain her predicament to Tara when Buffy came up, holding out an outfit. “Listen, Buffy and Xander are here, I gotta go.” It was out of her mouth before she could even register her clipped reply.
“Oh-kay. Say ‘hi’ to everyone for me. Um, bye.” Tara was slightly shocked by Willow’s abrupt change in demeanor.
“Bye.” Willow hung up and stared at the phone intensely.
What did I just do? That was bad. She picked it up again.
“If you don’t get a move on, I’ll dress you myself. I’ve got this hot little number….” Buffy had the feeling Willow was trying to ditch them.
Willow looked at the outfit with large eyes and put the phone back down quickly.
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So, she’s not coming over, but that’s ok. It’s not like I’m expecting her life to stop because of this. She’s been wonderful lately, spending all her free time with me. I shouldn’t be so… needy.
Her stomach suddenly rumbled.
Ok, well, I’m hungry I should go get something to eat then. Right you? She ran a hand over the belly.
Tara put on her coat and, as a precautionary measure, took a stake and a bottle of holy water. A prerequisite for any nightly walk in Sunnydale, even if things seemed kind of quiet.
I can still have a short walk after dinner; it’s safer since the Initiative’s been around.
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One grumpy, and two grinning Scoobies, crossed the campus.
“Well, this is great… fun, so um, but how about an early night? I mean, how often does the Slayer get an early night? And, hey, who’s minding the store anyway?” Willow dragged her feet slightly, walking between her best friends.
“No worries tonight Wills.” Buffy replied confidently.
“The neutered-one’s on the payola,” Xander batted back.
After her call to Tara, Willow felt terrible and tried to get out of the Scooby outing again. But there was no use.
Spike, huh? Fine, great… my friends… I really just want to see Tara. Last couple of days have been so good too, but tonight - not starting out so good.
It was about to go further downhill.
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It was unmistakable; that unexplained ‘feeling’. Tara was coming back from the dining hall, and about to turn the corner. She knew she was going to be face to face with
her in a matter of minutes.
Willow?
Since she had fallen pregnant something remarkable was happening. Tara seemed to know where Willow was and when Willow would call. Maybe she didn’t always know what the other woman was thinking, but she seemed to be able to ‘feel’ her. Tara always possessed good intuition, but lately it seemed to be getting stronger. She wasn’t quite sure what that meant, except that it was most certainly connected to the baby’s mystical origins. At some point, some point very soon, she was going to have to let Willow know. Then, there would most definitely need to be some kind of research. But it was difficult enough juggling everything, from the clinic, to school, to the ‘daddy-complications’. Now, with things definitely in the ‘better’ category with Willow, Tara felt like she could handle this other concern as well.
Willow became slightly agitated, spying a corner up ahead. “Guys, really, I just want a quiet kind of night. Plus, Tara….”
“You already called her, she knows you’re with us.” Buffy couldn’t figure Willow out.
Why is she so antsy about Tara?
“Relax Will.” Xander swung his arms amiably at his side.
They rounded the corner. Willow’s mouth dropped slightly at the familiar figure that was coming towards them. Her stomach knotted and she closed her mouth tight swallowing nervously when Tara came into view. Her eyes flew between all the bodies now present - Buffy, Xander, and Tara.
Oh no… no, no, no.
Tara looked curiously at Willow, and then at the Scoobies all dressed up.
Party-patrol?
“Hi! Um, Buffy, Xander you remember Tara. Tara, you know, Buffy and Xander.” Willow took a small step forward.
Buffy shot Willow a look like she was insane. “Yeah, of course we remember, geez Will! Hey Tara, how are you?”
Tara’s chin dropped slightly and she peered upward cautiously.
Willow’s… embarrassed and she’s going ‘out’ with her friends. Nothing’s really changed has it? I’m still her invisible friend, maybe even more so, now with the baby. I guess I was just hoping for too much. “Um, g-good… I’m good.”
…And pregnant, which none of her friends know about, that’s obvious. But, do I want them to know? Well, everyone’s going to know soon enough.
“Hey Tara.” Xander grinned broadly and wagged his brow once at her. “You’re looking great these days! So, we’re headed to a party….”
Willow frowned at Xander.
Hey! But she turned her attention quickly back to Tara. “Tara it’s not what you think… I think?” Willow carefully examined Tara, who only nodded.
No, no… it’s really not… damn!
“I-I should g-go.” Tara thought it wiser, and it was getting dark anyway. “Y-you know, n-night and all. Have fun.” She took off stiffly, not bothering to look back as she swept by the Scoobies.
“She needs an escort, I’ll walk her… vamps, Hellmouth!” Willow started after Tara with Buffy and Xander on her heels.
Tara turned around quickly to show them the vampire repellants she was carrying. “R-really, I’m fine.”
Willow stopped in her tracks and glanced at her friends standing next to her. In that moment, she really hated herself, hated that she would just give in and go along with her best friends. She felt childish and completely unprepared to be a parent.
Just great! Perfect! ‘Progress’ just flushed right down the toilet. “Tara?” She whispered, watching Tara’s eclipsing figure.
Can this night get any worse?
A shiver ran through Willow.
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The “night of fun” went badly, turning into a bona fide Scooby disaster, and another campus shindig from hell. Willow was relieved that Tara had NOT gone to the party. It was a major catastrophe, triggering something that haunted her in her sleep that night. A nightmare: babies that became children, children that became teens. Youngsters with hallowed faces and empty eyes circling around and taunting her. Everything went wrong on the Hellmouth.
Willow awoke that morning in a cold sweat, her legs twisted up in the sheets. She couldn’t move and merely stared at the ceiling, not wanting to get out of bed. She was caught in an endless thought-cycle about the future and its prospects. Her apprehension wasn’t because of Tara’s abilities to be a good parent, but of her own. She knew Tara would make an extraordinary mother, but she had doubts about herself. Didn’t she have a propensity for messing up? Would she be more of a help or burden to Tara and the baby? And, what about all things Hellmouthy that seemed especially attracted to her and the Scoobies? Wouldn’t she be putting Tara and the baby in harm’s way? She couldn’t just quit the Scoobies; they needed her. But so did Tara. Didn’t she? She sighed heavily and kicked the tangled blankets off her.
Tara is so much more ‘together’ than me.
I need to talk to her again, especially after last night. Goddess, I hope she’s not mad. Not that I would blame her if she were. So the party didn’t exactly start out as a Scooby misadventure, but it definitely ended up as one. I’ve got to see her. Explain it all to her. That was enough to motivate Willow to get up. Not only did she owe Tara an explanation, but also she felt the need to see her.
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Tara stirred under her covers. She really didn’t want to move, still clinging to a beautiful enticing dream. But, she couldn’t rest long, because of the pressure in her bladder. She got up and made a quick run for the bathroom.
On her way back, Tara pondered several things that she had stewed over through most of the night. Initially, she was put off by last night’s run-in with Willow. Angry, upset, embarrassed. But then, in retrospect, she could see that Willow was in a difficult position. The nervous phone conversation; the look in Willow’s eyes when they ran into each other and abruptly parted; Willow trying to walk her home, and calling after her. The redhead had other friends and other obligations - her life as a demon fighter, or demon fighter’s helper. She couldn’t expect Willow to turn her back on her friends, to give up her life, and her other responsibilities.
That wouldn’t be fair. Again, the idea of Willow resenting her for keeping her tied down with a child plagued her. Tara would never force Willow’s hand, especially if she wasn’t ready, or completely willing.
She walked into her room. There it was again, that feeling? She looked at her phone and raised a single brow, it was Willow.
-- ring --
Tara quickly picked up the receiver dispensing with the pretense of not knowing who might be calling her. “Hi Willow.”
“Um, hi Tara.”
Okay, how did she know? Willow scrunched her brow. “Last night….”
Tara paused briefly, cupping a hand over her forehead. “Why don’t you just come over and we can talk about it.”
“Okay… Now?” Willow was desperate; she had been stressing all night and morning. Willow assumed she would be making apologies with more attempts to work things out between them.
Tara let out a light chuckle. “Yes, if you want. I’ll be here.”
“I’ll be right over.” Tara’s laugh made Willow instantly relax. “Oh, with breakfast… and no coffee! Bye.”
Tara set down the phone, laughing a bit more. She shook her head slightly and then became more serious.
It was time for both of them to grow up. Time for both of them to act like adults, not only about the situation at hand, but with each other. Willow said she wanted to be present, to be a part of her life and the baby’s. If that was true, then they really needed to start figuring out how this was going to work. That meant, how did they fit as ‘just friends raising a baby… together and on a Hellmouth?’ She was already starting to ‘show’ and Willow’s friends were going to have to know.
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“Hi.” Willow arrived at Tara’s holding a large paper bag in one hand and an herbal tea in the other. After the clinic visit, and her own research, she knew what to bring. There was a strong need within her to bring something, anything, to Tara.
“Come in.” Smiling, Tara held the door open. She tilted her head at the bag in Willow’s arm, but didn’t attempt to take it. Willow was already presenting the tea to her while holding the bag aloft. “Thanks.” She graciously accepted the warm beverage.
Willow walked over to Tara’ s desk. “I, ah, brought a few things.”
“I can see that.” Tara sidled up next to Willow as she set the bag down. “Um, that’s a lot of breakfast? I know I’m eating for two, but….”
Willow turned to face Tara while rolling her eyes. Then she handed her a to-go box containing scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, a toasted whole-wheat bagel with butter and jam on the side, and some fruit salad.
“Thank you... again.” Tara took the container, while paying attention to Willow unpacking the paper bag.
Whole milk, whole grain cereal, fruit, peanut butter, carrots, nuts, yogurt, cheese, pickles... and a heating pad? She couldn’t help herself; Tara chuckled. “What? No note?”
“Huh?” Willow stopped what she was doing. “Are you making fun of me?” Grinning as Tara raised an eyebrow at her. “Later… maybe,” she laughed.
Tara looked at her once, shook her head giggling lightly, and then nodded towards everything on the table.
“Oh, well you know, they say you should snack 6-8 times a day. Small snacks help with morning sickness. Which is really a misnomer, since it doesn’t just happen in the morning, it happens almost anytime during the day. I just wanted to make sure you had everything. The heating pad will be good for you lower back or your legs when you get achey.”
“You. Are. Very. Sweet.” Tara had an overwhelming urge to reach over and plant a little kiss on Willow’s adorable nose. Instead she caught herself and stood stark still holding back.
Oh my goddess, what was I about to do?
That little compliment made Willow grin proudly.
So far, start of ‘apology plan’, A-ok.
Tara backed away slightly to reign in her feelings and regain control. Her dream-urges were coming to the forefront. She had always had them for Willow, but now they were coming on much stronger than before. And more often.
Willow turned around when she felt Tara leave her side.
Maybe not so A-ok? Watching Tara carefully, she instantly felt bad about the previous night. She bit her lip and walked over to the small fridge to put away the perishables. Setting the milk into the side door she began speaking, “Tara? Last night… it really was a Scooby thing. Well, it didn’t really start out as one, but it did turn into one.”
“But, what did it start out as?” Tara closed her eyes, then opened them and drew a long breath.
Willow cringed, shut the refrigerator door, and turned around. “A party… that I didn’t want to go. But, I was kidnapped by Buffy and Xander!”
“You should have just told me, you know?” Tara paused, taking a tiny step towards Willow. “I just need you to be honest with me, that’s all I’m asking.”
Nothing more.
“I was trying to, ok, in a stupid coded-not-so-coded kind of way.” Willow waved her hands about as she spoke quickly. She just couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I wanted to call you back, but then Buffy and Xander were just there… and this outfit! Oh my god… I was threatened by fashion, sexy slayer fashion, so NOT me… I didn’t know what to do. And… and if you’re mad at me… I understand, because last night was so….”
“Willow, I’m not angry at you.” Tara lowered her head minutely. “This is difficult for both of us and we need to communicate for this to work. I’m not….”
Your girlfriend. “…your keeper. I don’t want to stop you from seeing your friends. I don’t want you give up your Scooby duties. And, I would never force you to be here with me and the baby, if you don’t want to be.”
Sexy slayer fashion?
“I know, but I do want to
‘be’…I am sorry about last night.” Willow nodded firmly, and her eyes shifted to Tara’s belly. Part of the problem was that she was still trying to hide something, someone, that couldn’t stay hidden.
We will need to tell people soon. And, what’s another huge Willow-mistake out in the open? Nothing compared to making things easier for Tara….
Tara watched Willow’s eyes drift downward to focus on her belly.
“If… or whenever you’re ready. Um, I, you… or we, can tell people.” Willow hesitated momentarily. “Well, you know, except Giles, ‘cause I told him… and again he’s so cool with it. Giles-British-stiff-upper-lip-cool, in fact!” Willow reached for Tara’s hands; they felt so warm in her own.
Basal body temperature rises after ovulation and remains elevated throughout pregnancy.
Tara had an immense respect for Mr. Giles. Even though she knew Willow had confided in him, to publicly acknowledge everything made her flush. Embarrassed, she stepped backwards a bit. It wasn’t her present condition that caused her reaction, but thoughts of her own irresponsibility in the magickal spell that lead to the pregnancy. She could only nod, unable to say anything as she blushed for a few different reasons.
Is Willow really ready for a public revelation? Am I?
As they stood there in silence, stillness settled over them while they quietly contemplated different things.
A sudden phone ring made them both jump slightly and Tara dropped Willow’s hands. She looked into Willow’s eyes briefly, then pick up the receiver. “Oh yes, hi Lee. An appointment change?” She turned towards her wall calendar.
Willow stood just behind Tara and took a deep breath.
She smells good… sweet-like. Appointment change? That reminds me, I need to ask the doctor’s about that reaction Tara had at the appointment. ‘Quickening’ the first perception of fetal movement, usually occurring between 16-20 weeks. That means what Tara felt was kind of early! Every pregnancy is different, but isn’t this too early? ‘First fetal movements may feel like bubbles of gas, or butterfly wings.’ I wonder if it really feels like that? Willow grinned while bobbing her head absently.
Tara pointed at a date, peering back over her shoulder as Willow nodded. “Okay, yes that’s fine.” She turned back towards the calendar to re-address her appointment dates.
Willow looked down as Tara turned away from her. Blinking at her hands, she realized they were hovering just at Tara’s waist.
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Thanks everyone for being patient...again sorry for the wait! Enjoy.
JFD... all's good... all's well.
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Yay an update! I really missed this story.
YES!!!! Thank You God!!! This is what I'm talkin about. 
Finally Tara's trusting Willow to be in her's and the baby's life. 
I wonder what's gonna happen now. 
Pleaseee dont let it be augsty because I have my hopes up... Update soon!! 
(I wonder when Tara's hormones are gonna kick in. That's gonna be funny. 
) Í'll definally be waiting for the next update. 
update?
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yes this is geting so good more please when are thay going to know thay are falling in love and become girlfriends 
