All I Need
Sometimes, It Seems The Goin' Is Just Too Rough
And Things Go Wrong, No Matter What I Do
Now And Then, It Seems That Life Is Just Too Much
But You've Got The Love I Need To See Me Through
And Things Go Wrong, No Matter What I Do
Now And Then, It Seems That Life Is Just Too Much
But You've Got The Love I Need To See Me Through
Tara opened the door to her mother’s house and walked in, holding it open for Willow.
Willow’s shoulders relaxed as she walked through the threshold, as if just the act of passing through magicked away her tension.
For a few seconds, neither of them said anything. Tara closed the door behind Willow and rested her hand on the knob, her shoulders rising and falling as she took a slow breath.
“Honey, I don’t think they’re going to come after you,” Tara said quietly, her heart breaking for her love and what she had just gone through. “And I don’t think they should either.”
Willow looked back at her.
“I know.”
Tara cupped Willow’s face gently.
“You okay?”
Willow nodded, then gave her a small smile.
“Mostly.”
Tara’s mouth curved in response, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She knew that look by now. Willow was trying to be the strong one, even though this was her family and she was the one who had been hurt by the conversation.
Tara reached for her hand.
“Hey.”
Willow looked down at their joined fingers.
“I am – I’m okay.”
Tara squeezed Willow’s hand once before letting go.
“Just know you don’t have to be.”
Willow leaned in and rested her cheek on Tara’s shoulder for a moment. Tara tightened her arms around Willow and held on with all her love and might. Willow sighed in contentment.
“I love you. That’s all I need.”
She kissed Tara’s neck before straightening back up.
Continuing into the living room, Kimberly and Sally were still where they had been before Willow and Tara went across the street, but Jeff was standing in the corner with, confusingly, Anya.
Kimberly looked up as they came in.
“That was quick. Is that good or bad?”
Willow gave a thumbs-up, then turned it downward.
“Dad’s cool, Mom’s…not. Just another day in the life of being a Rosenberg.”
Kimberly immediately came over and gathered Willow up in a hug. Willow felt tears prick her eyes and closed them as she sank into it.
“Thanks. Didn’t know how much I needed that.”
Tara watched them for a moment, warmth flickering across her face. Willow had been so tense when they walked through the door. Now, after double Maclay hugs, she looked as though she had finally remembered that she didn’t have to hold herself together every second.
Given how she had tortured herself growing up trying to live up to other people’s standards, that really was a kind of magic.
When Kimberly eventually released her, Willow gave a slightly embarrassed sniff.
“Sorry.”
“For what, darling?” Kimberly asked.
Willow gestured up and down herself.
“Being damp.”
Kimberly smiled and produced a tissue from her pocket.
“That’s what Kleenex is for.”
Willow took it and sheepishly wiped it under her nose. Tara placed her hand on the small of Willow’s back to remind her she was there, but her attention was somewhat pulled to the confusion in the corner.
“Um, Anya, lovely to see you as always, but, um, what are you doing here?” she asked with a furrow in her brow.
Anya looked over with a cheeriness that hadn’t been present in a while.
“Team meeting.”
Willow blinked.
She looked at Tara.
Tara looked at Jeff.
Jeff looked like a man who had already reconsidered every decision that had led him to this moment.
“I wasn’t aware there were team meetings at the house,” Willow said with surprise. “…on a Sunday. Of a holiday weekend.”
“There isn’t,” Jeff replied tersely.
“There is,” Anya corrected, gesturing to herself. “I’m here. You’re here. Giles is routinely absent. Feels like a team meeting to me.”
“And yet, it isn’t,” Jeff insisted with gritted teeth.
“It should be!” Anya all but stamped her foot.
Jeff closed his eyes.
“Anya, what is it you need?”
“See?” Anya said brightly. “Agreeing with me is often the best solution. I keep telling people this, but they won’t listen.”
Jeff was rubbing his temples.
“The team meeting, as I said, is scheduled for 9am Tuesday morning. At the Magic Box. Where we work.”
“But we have to get a head start on Halloween sales! It’s our busiest month. We have a vegan witch cookbook to promote.” Anya nodded keenly before cocking her head. “Are vegan witches witches that only eat vegetables or witches that only eat vegan children?”
Jeff threw his hands up while Sally looked to the side as she pondered the question seriously.
Tara caught Willow’s eye.
It was barely a glance, but Willow understood immediately: are you okay?
Willow gave the smallest nod.
Tara’s expression said she wasn’t entirely convinced.
Willow squeezed her hand.
“Go.”
Tara smiled and kissed her briefly before looking at Anya again.
“Um, why don’t I steal you for a minute?” Tara suggested, watching Kimberly’s eyes follow Anya across the room with displeasure.
Willow went to help Sally with the game she was playing on her Switch, despite Sally’s protests. In fact, Sally’s protests made her feel a lot more at home.
This was the family she chose, and she’d choose them every day, even when they kicked her ankles for telling them to jump over the Koopa Troopas.
“I know how the game works! God, you’re so annoying.”
“Love you too, Sal,” Willow replied with utmost sincerity.
It spoke to Sally’s returned affection that she allowed Willow to kiss the top of her head.
In the kitchen, Anya wandered around, brushing her hand against the wall.
“This is a nice kitchen. Like the tile.”
Tara just sat and waited for Anya to join her. When she did, Anya remained silent.
“Did you have another fight with Xander?” Tara asked gently after a moment.
Anya shook her head.
“Oh, no. We had lots of mutually pleasurable sex last night. And this morning. And on his lunch break.”
Tara leaned in and put a hand on Anya’s knee.
“So why are you really here? I know you’re not actually preoccupied with vegan witch cookbooks.”
Anya sat up straight, her mouth twitching.
“Well, I didn’t really get to talk to you last night before you went off to have your engagement–consummating orgasms,” she said, folding her arms over her chest. “But it’s fine. It gave me more time to plan the bridal shower. Uh, where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers?”
Tara immediately began waving her hands in front of her.
“NO!”
“Right!” Anya snapped her fingers. “You’re going to want female strippers. Perhaps a token male for hospitality reasons.”
She mistook Tara’s horror for confusion.
“Your straight guests. It can be in another room or something if you don’t want to see the sausage.”
Tara waved her arms in an X formation.
“No strippers whatsoever.”
Anya’s arms folded again.
“Well, I’m kidding, geez.”
She looked away for a very long moment before looking back at Tara with more vulnerability in her eyes.
“Did I do the right thing?”
Tara’s face softened as Anya swallowed.
“Taking him back? He keeps distracting me with his fancy talk and lips, but…” Anya’s voice lowered as she looked down. “He really hurt me. How do I know he won’t do it again?”
She moved her gaze to Tara with a frown.
“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to advise me of these things and supply me with ice cream and wine while I wallow.”
Tara exhaled slowly.
“I think there’s some Chunky Monkey in the freezer.”
Anya nodded once, apparently deciding that was acceptable. Tara got it and a spoon, and while she was retrieving a bowl, Anya called out to her.
“It’s traditional to eat it out of the carton.”
Tara wordlessly handed it over, and Anya cradled it more like a comfort item than a foodstuff.
“And the wine?”
Tara was sure Jeff might physically combust if she gave Anya some of his wine.
“I think you’re going to have to get your own wine.”
Anya frowned.
“Then what good are you?”
Tara laughed softly. Sometimes that was all you could do.
“But seriously, Ahn, to answer your question…” Tara started, sitting back down opposite Anya. “You don’t have to know.”
“Know what?” Anya asked, running the spoon around the ice cream tub.
“That he won’t hurt you again,” Tara replied softly.
Anya’s expression tightened.
“I don’t?”
“No.” Tara shook her head. “You don’t know if he’ll do it again. Nobody can promise that. Xander can’t promise it. I can’t promise it for him. You can’t even promise it about yourself. That’s why it’s called trust.”
Anya looked at her suspiciously.
“I would never hurt me.”
“I know.” Tara sighed. “But people hurt each other sometimes even when they don’t intend to.”
Anya scowled.
“That is not comforting.”
“No.” Tara smiled sadly. “But it’s honest.”
Anya looked down at the carton in her hands.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Watch what he does,” Tara suggested.
“Instead of what he says?” Anya asked, her eyes creasing.
“Both. Listen especially to what he says. Words matter.” Tara paused. “But if you want to trust him again, let him earn it.”
She offered a sincere smile.
“But only you can decide if it’s worth betting your heart on.”
Anya turned her head.
“I’d rather bet money.”
That made Tara’s eyebrows raise, but before she could say anything, Willow’s voice came from the doorway.
“For what it’s worth,” she said, walking over to them. “I’ve known Xander since kindergarten, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him truly love someone until he met you.”
Willow’s hands settled gently on Tara’s shoulders.
“And I’ve seen him screw up. A lot.”
Anya nodded.
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“But I’ve also seen him look at you,” Willow continued.
Anya paused.
Willow smiled.
“It’s different.”
“How?” Anya asked cautiously.
Willow glanced at Tara.
“Like you’re home.”
She shared a soft smile with Tara, knowing she had the same look.
“You’re the only one I’ve ever seen him look at like that,” she said before offering a wry smile. “As long as you don’t count Captain Marvel.”
Anya dug her spoon into the ice cream.
“Eavesdropper.”
“Tara-hogger,” Willow couldn’t help but retort.
“You have her all the time,” Anya shot back.
Willow puffed her chest out.
“She’s my fiancée.”
“Enough,” Tara cut in softly but with authority before raising an eyebrow toward Anya. “Love can build a bridge. It’s your choice if you go over it or not.”
Anya’s eyes clouded. Willow’s hand fell to take Tara’s.
“Someone wise once told me that sometimes there’s going to be hurt in our lives,” she said, meeting Tara’s gaze. “That’s part of loving people.”
Anya slammed the ice cream on the table.
“Why? Why can’t everyone just get along and be sexually compatible and keep their eyes off other women?!?”
Tara jumped as melted ice cream squirted everywhere. Willow ran to get a dishcloth while Tara brought the carton to the sink.
“Ahn, I think you need to be talking this out with Xander,” Tara said gently. “I’m not an expert on guys, but sometimes they think sex makes everything better again.”
She stopped and frowned.
“At least on TV,” she said, glancing up to Willow for support, who basically shrugged with her eyes, so Tara focused back on Anya. “But you need to hear it from him that you’re the one he’s committed to.”
Anya considered this, looking between them.
“You two are annoyingly mature.”
“We’re really not,” Willow said.
Tara smiled.
“No. We’ve just been through an awful lot together. And we know how important it is to communicate, especially when it comes to emotions.”
Anya suddenly stood.
“You’re right. He needs to go down on my feelings before he goes down on me!”
Willow winced at the wording, but Anya seemed newly energized.
“Thank you,” she said mostly to Tara but somewhat to both of them. “And let me know if you change your mind about the strippers.”
“We won’t,” Tara reassured, but gave Anya a hug. “And I really am glad things are starting to get better.”
Anya smiled and left with a quip to Jeff about ‘Double, Double, Tofu Trouble’ being a bestseller, leaving Willow and Tara to collapse back on the couch with the family.
“I owe you some Chunky Monkey,” Tara said with a sigh.
Sally’s face scrunched up.
“That was mine!”
Tara glanced at Willow, both sharing a look of not wanting to move from that spot.
“Does Sunnydale have DoorDash yet?”
“We’re not completely in the Stone Age,” Jeff replied drolly. “Was that a productive meeting?”
Tara knew Jeff was really asking if he was going to be dealing with Anya’s outbursts all week.
“I think so.”
Willow sank farther into the couch.
“I think Anya just needed someone to listen. Her family situation is even weirder than mine.”
“She usually needs someone to listen.” Jeff sighed. “And unfortunately she’s often right. Our sales have never been higher since she came to work for us. Not even in the good old days of the hedonistic 70s.”
Sally looked toward Tara.
“Is she really throwing you a bridal shower?”
“Not if I have anything to do about it,” Willow replied in a brusque tone.
“Are there going to be games?” Sally pushed on, ignoring Willow.
“Maybe?” Tara replied, earning a wide-eyed stare from Willow.
“What kind?” Sally asked eagerly.
Tara raised her hands.
“I don’t know. This is the first I’m hearing about it.”
Willow lifted a finger.
“Important question: are we talking normal bridal–shower games, or Anya bridal–shower games?”
Jeff immediately shook his head.
“I don’t want to know.”
Kimberly laughed.
“Oh, I don’t think any of us do.”
Willow leaned back against the couch, finally allowing herself to relax.
Tara noticed.
She reached over and slipped her fingers between Willow’s. Willow squeezed them.
No words were necessary.
They were home.
Later, when the conversation had settled into the ordinary rhythms of the evening, Willow found herself watching everyone around her.
Her family.
Tara, of course, but everyone else too.
The people who had loved them, supported them. The people who had stayed through all of their seasons. The surrogate mother who had always made sure she was loved and cared for, whatever was going on. The man who had unexpectedly slipped in with kindness and stability. The little girl who showed Willow she could be better than the example she was given.
The thought brought an unexpected ache to her chest.
Tara noticed immediately, because of course she did.
“What?”
Willow shook her head.
“Nothing.”
Tara arched an eyebrow.
“Your face doesn’t say ‘nothing’.”
Willow touched her cheek.
“What does it look like?”
“Beautiful,” Tara answered softly. “But also ‘something’.”
Willow smiled and looked down at their hands.
“I guess it’s all just settling around in there. But I’m good – really. I promise.”
Tara lifted their hands and kissed Willow’s knuckles, right as Jeff came in like a big kid holding a board game box.
“Who’s up for Twister?!”
Willow was the first to jump up.
“My Tai Chi lessons are about to pay off!”
Tara just raised the subtlest of eyebrows as if to say I already knew that.
Willow caught it and blushed, but everyone else was too busy to catch it. She winked slyly in a way that promised not just later but forever.
Sure enough, after a DoorDashed dinner and a lively game of Twister, which Willow indeed won, ending up arched backward over Sally as she reached for ‘left hand, blue’, they retreated to Tara’s old bedroom.
As they were getting ready for bed, Willow appeared in front of Tara holding a flat box with a little bow on top in both of her hands.
“I got you a birthday present.”
Tara looked at the box and then back at Willow.
“Another one?”
Willow shrugged shyly.
“Well…”
Tara shook her head.
“You really didn’t have to.”
“I know that,” Willow replied with a smile.
“That usually means you did anyway,” Tara replied wryly.
Willow held her thumb and forefinger a scosh apart.
“It’s a small one.”
Tara lifted an eyebrow.
“That’s what you always say and then produce the best present I’ve ever seen.”
Willow’s cheeks colored.
“Can you open it before I die of anticipation?”
Tara laughed and carefully untied the bow.
“You already gave me the best birthday present, you know. And I don’t mean the ring.”
Willow’s eyes flickered bashfully for a moment.
“So, uh, this was kind of a decoy gift. I was supposed to give it to you before we went to dinner. But then everything…happened. And I didn’t. But I’d still like you to have it.”
They sat on the edge of the bed. Tara lifted the lid and inside was a silver-toned bracelet with blue sapphire charms alternating with clear crystal hearts.
“Ohh, this is pretty…”
She took it out and let it dangle. Willow put her fingers under it and rubbed her thumb over the gems.
“I got this in a thrift store on layaway.”
“I didn’t even know thrift stores did layaway,” Tara replied before lowering her hand to look at Willow. “Willow, how expensive was it?”
“Not because it was expensive,” Willow replied with a laugh. “Because I needed it to be, well…”
“Well?” Tara asked with an arched eyebrow.
Willow just smiled and waited, her eyes glistening with pride.
“It’s old,” she explained, pointing to the bracelet. “Because thrift store. So that’s the old.”
Tara nodded solemnly.
“Okay.”
“And it’s new because it’s new to you,” Willow continued in a lyrical tone.
“Old, new…” Tara repeated, realization slowly dawning. “Borrowed and blue.”
Willow grinned.
“And the borrowed part…”
Tara’s eyes narrowed.
“You didn’t steal it.”
“No!” Willow protested. “I just didn’t technically own it yet.”
“Willow…” Tara replied unsurely.
“I didn’t steal it,” Willow replied with exasperation. “I just… didn’t have it yet.”
Tara stared at her.
“The layaway!” Willow explained with a giddy smile. “Most thrift stores don’t even do layaway, so I had to do a lot of convincing.”
“And I bet you were.” Tara grinned, rolling the bracelet around her fingers. “Old, new, borrowed, and blue. You’re so thoughtful.”
She leaned in and pecked Willow’s lips.
“This is so sweet. You were going to give this to me, and I’d have no idea it was hinting at what was to come.”
Willow ran a finger over Tara’s ring.
“And I was bringing you to ‘Ruby’s’ for dinner.”
Tara’s lips turned up in a crooked grin.
“You’re like that bad guy pretending to be the good guy in that show we watched.”
Willow’s face bloomed with affection.
“Do you mean Michael in The Good Place leaving 1200 clues?”
Tara nodded, and Willow grabbed her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss. Tara left the bracelet on her nightstand and leaned down to pin Willow against the mattress.
Willow smirked and moved her hips under Tara, catching her by the waist with her knees to pull them tightly together.
Tara giggled and rolled onto her back, taking Willow on top with her.
“You think you’re the only one with moves?”
“I’ll show you ‘moves’,” Willow retorted cockily, grabbing Tara’s underwear and pulling them down her bare legs. “I accosted you before you finished getting changed for a reason.”
“Who said I was going to change?” Tara asked, boldly gyrating her hips and parting her thighs just enough to be teasing. “Maybe I was going to strip…”
She reached for the hem of her shirt, crossed her arms, and whipped it over her head, leaving her nude.
Willow sat back enough to take in the view, straddling Tara.
“Tara Maclay, are you trying to seduce me in your childhood bedroom?”
Tara smiled crookedly.
“It’s hardly the first time.”
Willow lifted her Darkwing Duck pajama top over her head and smirked.
“Let’s get dangerous.”
Tara let her hands follow the shapely curve of Willow’s hips and tugged her down so they were face to face, nose to nose, soul to soul.
“Let me show how proud I am to be yours.”
Her fingers brushed the hair at the nape of Willow’s neck, letting her feel the shiver that went down Willow’s back. Willow kissed into Tara’s neck as their bodies pressed together at their breasts and stomachs, causing a moan to vibrate past Tara’s lips.
“Willow.”
She said the name like a prayer as she cupped the back of Willow’s head and tilted her head enough for their mouths to meet. It was slow and tender but grew in intensity quickly with teeth and tongues nipping at each other sloppily.
Willow moaned as her thigh slid between Tara’s legs, already molten and wet and begging to be touched. Tara thrust her hips suggestively, and Willow started to blindly reach.
To stop them from falling off her small bed and causing a scene, Tara rolled Willow onto her side against the wall and scooted up as close as possible. Impressively, without breaking the kiss, she got Willow’s underwear off and encouraged Willow to bend her knee for access while she did the same.
Their wrists crossed each other as they reached between them and slid fingers into each other’s wetness. There was a pop of their lips as the kiss broke just long enough to release a mutual moan before they resumed it again.
They touched and teased each other above and below, but it was Willow who entered Tara first, unable to resist the way Tara’s muscles pulled around her fingers. Tara’s body stilled and tensed for a moment as she welcomed Willow in, then she made the move to mirror the action.
For several minutes they just pushed and pulled in each other, building up a heady sweat and warmth between them, as though a bubble of warm air was encompassing them both.
“Willow.”
There was that prayer again, and Willow opened her eyes to see Tara’s already staring back at her, lidded but fixed on her, glassy with lust but also surrender and trust.
Willow knew she wanted to experience the release together, and after a quick adjustment, they buried their faces in each other’s necks to hide any auditory evidence.
Their moans were indeed lost in each other’s skin as their bodies quaked as one, rolling and rolling together until finally all was still except for their panting and whispered ‘I love yous’ so quietly they couldn’t be fully sure it wasn’t telepathy.
After a minute or so, Tara turned gently so Willow was spooning her and sighed in satisfaction at feeling Willow’s lingering arousal against her as her back rested warmly against Willow’s front.
Willow threw her arm over Tara lazily, splaying a hand across her stomach and holding her as close as possible. She lay quietly behind her, listening to Tara’s breathing gradually settle.
For all the noise of the day – the arguments, the questions, the laughter, the uncertainty – this was the part that felt simple.
Tara was here.
She was safe.
Tara was hers, and Willow was Tara’s.
There was nothing to solve. Nothing to defend. Nothing to prove.
Just Tara.
Willow closed her eyes.
A long time passed, so long that Willow thought Tara might be asleep, but she was finally able to run her hand down Tara’s side.
“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered into Tara’s ear from behind. “I don’t even have to open my eyes.”
Her hand slipped away from the curve of Tara’s hip.
“I can feel how beautiful you are.”
Tara answered by way of a soft, contented sigh, letting Willow know she felt utterly safe.
And that, to Willow, was the best feeling she knew.
