Magical Chronicles - Chronicles of W/T beginnings

[shirrey]

Yay!!!!! They figured it out!!!!

I agree with taranwillow4ever, thank you for not dragging out their confusion for too long, the girls have their inner doubts which makes things muddy, but they are too smart and observant to not notice what has been building- it wasn't clear at first maybe, but something was definitely happening

Also, hell yeah, Willow should be a bit miffed about Riley, I wonder if her 'over it' state of mind made it a little easier to seek out Tara? Sometimes being emotionally exhausted is a good thing, it certainly was for both of them. No spoons for anything but the truth.

I really liked that you had Tara think of going home, I think she would have panicked like that, but also that it was over pretty quick when she calmed a bit. She has enough self-worth to want to stay.
The demon thing, it really was so muddy in the show. Even when Willow asks Tara why Tara didn't say anything, all Tara mentioned was being worried about Willow's impressions of her family. we know she is worried about Willow (and the gang) finding out, she does say she didn't want Willow to know 'what she was' but there really wasn't anything between the demon finding spell and Family about the hidden demon aspect. I like that you included a bit in that in Tara's perception of her actions. Wondering if you will include more, but I suppose I can just wait and see

Oh and giddy girls!!! No confusion

Tara: Sushi. sure whatever, i'm deathly allergic, but I'll get to die by your side so..... (sigh)

[Will's redemption]

Hooray for their first kisses!
I'm glad that Willow had the courage to ask Tara on a date and to tell her that she wanted to kiss her, and I'm proud of Tara for not letting Willow leave without kissing before.
I'm really looking forward to their first date.

Tara: Sushi. sure whatever, i'm deathly allergic, but I'll get to die by your side so..... (sigh)

As long as both Tara and Willow don't eat sushi with shrimp, Tara should be fine, shouldn't she? We don't want after-date kissage lead to an allergic shoc like in Laragh's "College Confidential"...

[CopperAndGold]

I also like that you didn't prolong Tara's wondering if she'd gotten the right message that Willow wanted to kiss her. I struggle when there are ages and ages and pages and pages of "I must be imagining something"; because I KNOW that Willow wants Tara and Tara wants Willow. I hate when Tara thinks Willow doesn't want her; it makes me feel sad.

Same here. I don't like the prolonged agony and it doesn't fit Willow's personality, as far as what I think her personality to be.

Also, hell yeah, Willow should be a bit miffed about Riley, I wonder if her 'over it' state of mind made it a little easier to seek out Tara? Sometimes being emotionally exhausted is a good thing, it certainly was for both of them. No spoons for anything but the truth.

Yup, them both being over it made things much simpler. lol

I really liked that you had Tara think of going home, I think she would have panicked like that, but also that it was over pretty quick when she calmed a bit. She has enough self-worth to want to stay.

She still has hope for her situation, for sure. The risks seem overwhelmingly scary at times, though.

The demon thing, it really was so muddy in the show. Even when Willow asks Tara why Tara didn't say anything, all Tara mentioned was being worried about Willow's impressions of her family. we know she is worried about Willow (and the gang) finding out, she does say she didn't want Willow to know 'what she was' but there really wasn't anything between the demon finding spell and Family about the hidden demon aspect. I like that you included a bit in that in Tara's perception of her actions. Wondering if you will include more, but I suppose I can just wait and see

That's what I intend to do, the show sweeping the whole thing under the rug has always irked me.

Tara: Sushi. sure whatever, i'm deathly allergic, but I'll get to die by your side so..... (sigh)

This made me laugh way too hard.

As long as both Tara and Willow don't eat sushi with shrimp, Tara should be fine, shouldn't she? We don't want after-date kissage lead to an allergic shoc like in Laragh's "College Confidential"...

Oh my god, I remember that! Loved those fics.

Thank you for all your feedback, here's the new installment!

Yummy Sushi

• Author name – CopperAndGold
• Rating – R for hotness.
• Feedback – You know I love it
• Summary – Between the episodes ‘Goodbye Iowa’ and ‘This years girl’. First date!

---

Hours had passed, she was still basking.

Tara had lingered in the spot where she’d shared a wonderful first kiss with Willow, holding trembling fingers to her lips. Feeling like someone, not her, had taken over only for the time it took to… do what her heart had cried out to do. It’d been stronger than her, the feeling had been overwhelmingly compelling. Kissing Willow, tasting her and holding her body against herself, had felt like standing in a warm drizzle of rain at night, in the middle of summer. Almost refreshing, almost sating – but not quite. Just enough to make you want more, steam rising from your skin.

When the redhead had obliterated Tara’s doubts with the offer of a date, shackles had been released from around her heretofore controlled enthusiasm. Now, thinking of Willow – wanting her could easily become obsessive. That, coupled with the fact she had a date with the beautiful young woman the very next day – the blonde witch couldn’t find sleep if she were swimming in a pool of chloroform.

Twisting her head in order to see her alarm clock, she ruefully corrected her thoughts. More like, I have a date later tonight. Tara grumbled out loud sounding like an amused, but grumpy kitten. She couldn’t be too frustrated, she was going to experience something she thought she never would. Going on a date had always been something other people did.

Straight people dated – two people of the same gender being seen in public in an intimate setting wasn’t really the kind of thing you experienced in Wheatland. Tara had never really considered having a relationship; was pretty naïve about the whole ritual of courting. With Rachel, there had been no dates. It hadn’t felt like being courted so much as manipulated. Well, at least by the end it had…

Stop, just don’t. That particular mental door shut as quickly as it had unexpectedly opened. Not gonna ruin this.

Part of her couldn’t help but feel thankful for at least that much experience, though. Being demon-possessed kind of put a damper on planning long-term, emotional investments. Here, in Sunnydale, she might be able to do that. Maybe… Willow’s ex was a werewolf after all… And if I try to hurt someone, Buffy can deal with me…

That thought made her gulp loudly, feeling uncomfortable with the idea. Hopefully she’d find a cure soon, or Tara would have to come out all over again. There wasn’t a supportive and colorful flyer for that one.

She shook herself internally, doing her best to concentrate on her date with the most exciting young woman she’d ever met. I don’t remember seeing a Sushi restaurant in town… Oh, God – seriously, what am I gonna wear…? Tara asked herself for the thousandth time that night.

***

It was late morning - Buffy and Willow sat on a bench out in the quad, catching up between classes. They’d been talking about the new threat in town named Adam. Maggie Walsh’s Dr. Frankenstein moment, as it were. As threatening as this monster seemed though, the Slayer was preoccupied with having left Riley back at the Initiative, to be treated for his wounds and withdrawals.

The redhead had come home just a few minutes before Buffy the night before, her stomach still fluttering with the sensation of kissing Tara. But, once her best friend had gotten in – all sense of wonderment and excitement had been put aside for dire Scooby happenings and updates.

Today, Willow tried being supportive as much as she could, but she had her own preoccupations after all. “So you’ll be at Giles’ tonight, then?” Thinking about a scary monster roaming the streets was the last thing she wanted to do.

Buffy sighed, pushing the hair from her eyes. “Yeah, he wants to brainstorm about Adam.” She squirmed in place uncomfortably. “Not sure what I can tell him other than he can kick my ass.” The look on her face made it plain to see she was worried.

The redhead nodded to acknowledge what her friend had said. Good, I can get ready without her wondering where I’m going… She thought guiltily. Willow didn’t like sneaking around her friend, but it just felt like the right thing to do. At least for now… Unlike the fluke with Xander, this was more about having space to grow it seemed.

It was like there were two Willow-parts trying to figure out how to become one. A foot in two different but simultaneous lives, the two Willows even sounding different at times. It felt as though, if she were to introduce Tara to the group right now, it’d be like she’d have to choose between states and cut the other half off.

Buffy noticed the look on her friend’s face and misinterpreted it through her own guilt. “I’m sorry Will, I’d hang out if I could but this Adam guy is serious business.” She said, genuinely feeling remorseful.

Willow’s eye grew wide, “Oh, no it’s ok Buffy.” She laid a hand on her friend’s arm reassuringly. “Really, I’m sure I can find something to do.” Her brain quickly jumped to the other foot. What am I gonna wear?

***

Looking at the clock only served to make her panic. Tara paced her bedroom floor, wearing only her underwear and the white, lacy top she’d finally decided on.

After eventually falling asleep and having had a few anxiety riddled dreams, she’d woken up feeling as though she hadn’t slept… although artificially energized. She hadn’t felt tired at all, seemingly running on adrenaline.

The blonde had gone through the day, her heart threatening arrest at every turn - excited and frightened all at once. Two classes had felt like a thousand, minutes ticking by at the speed of molasses. A ‘To Do’ list ran in her mind, on a loop for hours.

She’d done most of the items on her list now. Shower, hair and makeup. Some jewelry… but, she couldn’t decide between the long, dark-floral skirt and the old but immaculate jeans.

She felt the top she wore went better with the pants. But, when she’d gotten them they’d been loose fitting. She’d still been in high-school and now the fit was closer to snug, her hips having filled in some.

Tara wasn’t one for showing off her body; wore baggy clothing or long skits mostly – didn’t much like attracting attention, at all. These jeans, although most would say fit nicely, felt oddly like wearing a neon sign on her ass.

She glanced at the clock again, two minutes had passed. Willow would be here in twenty minutes or so. The blonde picked up the jeans, pushed a leg in. Her thoughts getting the better of her in the moment, she paused and glanced back at the skirt laying on her bed. Twenty minutes, Maclay… Choose!

***

The evening air felt slightly humid for the time of year, making her self-conscious about the probability of frizzy hair. Willow patted it down as she walked across campus to Tara’s dorm building. She was glad she’d opted against a jacket. The long-sleeved, deep-purple chemise being just warm enough for her not to feel sweaty.

After an hour of trying on clothes, the redhead had opted to keep to what she knew. At first, she’d even contemplated raiding Buffy’s closet. But, then had come to the conclusion that it would be ultimately pointless. Tara knew how she dressed already, she’d know if something was out of character… no?

In the end, she’d thought of the times she’d ‘tried’ being sexy or alluring and had made up her mind. Willow wasn’t regretting the long denim skirt and clogs, the outfit along with the makeup and jewelry made for a suitable first-date look. She looked cute, if she were to say so herself.

Half-way up the stairs to Tara’s floor, her palms started to sweat. She felt like she’d never been on a date before, like this was all a first. She’d been on dates with Oz, so she shouldn’t be this nervous surely. It’s different… is it because I’m the one taking her out? Or, because she’s a… she?

A few students walked by her in the hall as she stood wringing her fingers nervously, staring at Tara’s door. Willow straightened her blouse, patted at her hair and cleared her throat. Doesn’t matter, we’re just having dinner together. She reasoned with herself sternly. It’s not like you aren’t friends already.

Three small knocks, her hand had a mind of its own. She was almost shocked at the movement, but the door opened and shock was instantly replaced with a whole other, different kind of intense feeling. “Hey,” Tara said softly, standing demurely in the doorway. Her smile was subdued and her cheeks pink, all very visible with her hair being pulled back.

Oh, wow… she’s… Willow’s eyes grew bigger, seemingly trying to take more of Tara in. She’s so beautiful. The blonde’s hair was pulled from her eyes, something she’d just realized how seldom her friend did. What she wore was what struck Willow incoherent. The light, soft and thin looking white blouse was laced at the collar. A low, rounded collar accentuated by a long necklace with a dark blue stone at its center. Tara was wearing jeans and a pair of those boots she seemed to like wearing. Her makeup was light, hints placed in strategic places meant to highlight natural features. Natural features that all felt newly discovered, newly recognized as beauty.

“Pretty,” The word tumbled from Willow’s lips, a whisper that she thankfully caught. “I-I mean, hi. You look very pretty.” She said honestly, her smile making her eyes sparkle and the tips of her ears turn a dark pink with embarrassment.

Tara bowed her head, expecting a curtain to fall but she couldn’t hide tonight. “Thanks,” Looking back up after realizing the futility of her actions, she continued, “You too… beautiful.” She smiled crookedly and rolled her eyes, “As usual, beautiful.”

Her giggle made Willow’s heart flutter, she reached for Tara’s hand and took it gently. “Ready to go?” She asked, still grinning goofily. Her excitement at the evening ahead finally winning over her nerves. “I have a cab waiting.”

This surprised the blonde, her expression obvious as she locked the door. “A cab?” Turning back, her hand was taken again, fingers lacing with Willow’s in a warm embrace that made her heart jump. “How far are you taking me?” A hint of a teasing tone laced her words.

Where no man has gone before… The redhead couldn’t help the thought and exploded in a short, private giggle fest fueled by nerves and nerdy jokes. Her hand was squeezed gently, Tara’s amused but confused look reeling her in. “Sorry, brain’s being silly.” They made it out of the building, hands still clasped. “It’s not that far.” The leafy scent of late-fall evenings struck Willow as if for the first time, “Just outside of town. No sushi in Sunnydale.” She said as she led Tara toward the administration building parking lot.

“I thought so.” The blonde nodded, “Um, I’ve never had sushi.” She pressed her lips together in a tight smile, a small dimple puckered her cheek and Willow found the expression adorable. “I hope there are shrimp-less op-options?” The redhead looked askance at her hopeful question but nodded in the affirmative. “I’m allergic.” Tara explained simply with a shrug. “But-but I want to try the options.”

Her smile and the skip in her step made Willow’s heart swell. She’d always loved making someone happy, with gifts or anything. But, the sensations she got from making Tara happy were different… made her want to smother her in tenderness. “You can have whatever your heart desires!” The redhead said excitedly. “Or, in this case – your stomach.” She ended with a giggle, swinging their hands between them. I could do anything if she’d just ask…

Rounding the corner, they could see their cab waiting patiently.

***

Blue eyes blinked, squinted dubiously – almost distrustfully looking up through long lashes, holding Willow in a defying gaze. Tara held a chopstick in front of herself, on its end a small green glob that looked oddly colored to the blonde. “Intense?” She asked, an eyebrow quirking.

Willow couldn’t help but giggle, she nodded and tilted her head as if saying. ‘I warned you’

Tara rolled her eyes and shook her head. How bad can it be? Sticking her tongue out in a point, she poked the small glob of wasabi into her mouth. Her date’s eyebrows rose expectantly, the blonde swirled the paste around her mouth and her eyes grew wide in shock at the sting. She shot Willow an accusatory look reaching for her glass of water.

The redhead’s laughter was subdued, being in a public setting with other patrons having dinner sitting nearby. “I told you it was intense.” She shook her head and reached for the soya sauce, “You mix a little with sauce to give it some zing.”

Picking at bits of rice, popping them into her mouth to alleviate her stinging tongue, Tara pushed her little sauce dish towards the center of the table. “What did you get me?” She looked at the plate sitting in front of herself, clueless. Poking at a piece of tuna with her chopstick, “It looks really yummy.” She said honestly.

Being allergic to shrimp and having no idea what to expect other than seafood and rice, she’d let Willow order for her. After a few minutes of intense conversation with the waiter, and then going to the counter to talk with the chef - the redhead had been confident in her choices, for both safety and taste.

“That there is tuna sashimi.” The redhead explained the ball of rice with fish, pouring some soya sauce into her own little dish now. “You have some salmon sashimi, too. That,” She pointed at the cut up roll, “Is a veggie roll, all veggie goodness. And this one,” Looking up after indicating the last roll, “Is a dynamite roll.” Her nose crinkled in a mischievous grin, “A little spicy.”

Tara was delighted, both the food and Willow – she felt like she was on cloud nine. “And, you?” She nodded at her date’s plate. “That looks cooked.” This fact surprised her as everything else was raw.

She explained her teriyaki roll, and her Seattle roll. Willow also had ordered herself some tuna sashimi, “Ever used chopsticks?” She asked when Tara picked hers up between her fingers, obviously trying to figure it out. When the blonde shook her head, she was easily showed how it was done. She seemed to pick it up quickly, and soon enough she’d added wasabi to her own sauce wanting more zing.

Tara picked up her piece of sashimi and closed her lips around it, biting it in half before pulling the rest away. Her tongue darting to catch elicit rice, her jawline moving while she chewed. “Mmm,” The moan was soft, her head tilted a smidge back and to the side. Tara closed her eyes to savor the bite. So good... how can raw fish melt?

Willow almost dropped her chopsticks. A wave of heat rippled up her body, her eyes glued to the blonde’s neck. A long, delicate and oh so soft looking neck. She gulped, finding her mouth dry Willow took a few sips of her drink while peeking from over her glass.

***

Tara tried to keep her laughter down, one hand covering her mouth and the other grasping onto Willow’s on the table’s surface. “Buffy caught Giles and her mom kissing.” The redhead was explaining mid-giggles of her own, “I’m so glad my folks were out of town.”

They’d finished their meals a while back, deciding to just stay a bit longer and spend more time together before ending the date and going back to the dorms.

The mood calmed and the laughter died down. They exchanged coy looks when their feet would bump into each other under the table. Conversations of books they’d read, things they’d seen and people they know.

Tara fiddled with the fingers clasped in her own, subconsciously counting freckles. “You have nice hands.” She thought out loud, grazing a knuckle with her thumb softly.

A shiver ran down her spine at the attentive touch. “I do?” Willow asked, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead. She’d never given them much thought.

“Hm,” The blonde nodded, looking up with a crooked grin she contemplated her words a moment before explaining. “Graceful... feminine…” She ran a finger along Willow’s index, “Willowhands.” She concluded simply, her crooked grin widening and the blush on her cheeks darkening.

The redhead’s cheeks darkened as well, the sense of being flirted with delighting her. “You should see me type.” She countered jokingly, wiggling her captive fingers.

Tara tightened her grip slightly, pulled on the hand to regain eye contact before suggesting something. “Next time you come over, you should bring your laptop.” She winked, pulling Willow’s hand to her lips – she kissed a knuckle and grinned against it.

“I’ll uh,” The redhead squirmed in her seat, suddenly feeling constrained in the booth. “Press any button you want.” She licked her lips at the look in Tara’s eyes, sultry was the only word that came to mind. “As often as you want.”

The blonde quirked an eyebrow, “Really?” She asked challengingly.

Willow head turned as if a starter pistol had been shot, looking for the waiter. She quickly found him and her free hand shot up, “Check!” She squeaked.

Tara let go of the Willowhand. “Please.” She giggled and took a last sip of water.

***

The cab ride home had been quiet. Shy glances that felt like kisses were exchanged silently, patterns gently drawn into palms of hands with tender fingers. Willow fathomed at the intimacy possible in the back seat of a cab. Liquid electricity ran up her arms and through her nervous system at every graze of a finger.

Without a thought, both walked up to Tara’s dorm building. Hand in hand, they made it to her door and the blonde single-handedly unlocked and opened it, not wanting to let go.

Pulling Willow in after her gently, she pushed the door closed with a loud shake of the hinges and pulled the slight redhead into her arms. “Come here,” She kissed her cheek, her jaw. “Thanks for an amazing dinner, Willow.” Tightening her hold when she heard a sigh escape the redhead’s throat, she looked into deepening green. “I want to kiss you so much.”

Willow fell back against the door, bringing the blonde with her. She didn’t say anything, just kissed the lips she’d been fantasizing about kissing again since that first time. “Hm-mn,” Her fingers clasped the back of Tara’s head, soft satin-like hair flowing through her fingers.

Hands against the redhead’s sides, Tara’s fingers gripped and kneaded. Tilting her head, she captured a swollen lower-lip and teased it with her tongue. The soft moan the move elicited fueling the intensity of her sensations, hands running down the dip in Willow’s waist she grasped onto the yielding flesh, pulling; her need liquefying.

She was getting lost in the feelings coursing through her, felt flush and absolutely turned on. Willow ran her fingers down that beautiful long neck, her palms falling flat against the skin at Tara’s open collar. She could feel the heart racing under that hot skin. She couldn’t hold her mewling, pleading moan in when she opened her mouth invitingly.

When the invitation was eagerly accepted, her knees almost gave out. Tara’s mouth was warm and succulent, her lips so soft, the taste of her tongue carrying on it sweet memories of their date. Hands were now grasping at her hips, Willow’s pelvis thrust forward. She wanted more contact, needed to be closer somehow. Her arms now wrapped around the blonde’s neck, holding on as the sensual sensations wreaked havoc through her system.

She needs to stop that… Tara thought as she reached for the girl’s ass. That thrust, and subsequent undulation of Willow’s hips were making her hotter than hell. Her hands full now, she couldn’t help but squeeze and pull the woman into her. “Goddess,” She husked out after pulling her lips away long enough to take a breath. Willow’s mouth was soon at her throat, teeth grazing her skin. She almost lifted the slight redhead right off the ground. “Willow,” She groaned, for the first time the redhead’s sex-appeal hitting her full force. Calm down, relax…

“You feel so good,” She mumbled against the skin of Tara’s neck, “I can’t believe this.” She dropped her arms, encircled Tara’s waist instead and pulled. Closer, need tighter… The blonde’s breasts pressed against hers, Willow could feel her nipples through her shirt. “I don’t want to stop.” Should we? She couldn’t be sure of herself anymore, she had no idea what she was doing.

All she knew was she wanted more, and it felt like it was going to get more intensely sexual and that felt a bit quick. Willow knew she’d spaz if she’d really think about it, but the hormones rushing through her veins were making thoughts hazy.

I should, I should stop… “Me either,” She almost dropped to her knees, almost gave in. “But we re-really should.” Tara brought her hands back to Willow’s hips, held them firmly but tenderly. Fingers trembling with restraint, “I should… there’s n-no rush.” She emphasize shaking her head, making sure she wasn’t being misunderstood. The state she was in… well, Willow wasn’t leaving this room tonight if they didn’t stop. “R-right now, I wanna rush.” She gulped loudly.

She nodded and grinned a proud grin, hair mussed and cheeks flushed Willow gave a chaste peck on Tara’s swollen lips. Wow, go me! “I had such a good time with you.” Her eyelids fluttered, eyes sparkling joyfully. “Thank you for saying yes.” For the first time in her life, she hadn’t tried to be sexy and ended up feeling sexier than a thousand Verucas.

Tara giggled softly, shaking her head as if in disbelief. She leaned her forehead against Willow’s and smiled. “You really better go.” She whispered and kissed a cute freckled nose. Stepping back a few steps this time, she made sure to put distance between them.

Willow had a cocky sort of smirk on her face, her tongue pressed against her teeth. Her head wobbled proudly, “Talk soon.” She twisted the doorknob, “I’ll call when I get home.”

While swinging the door closed, she could hear Tara’s answer. “I’ll be waiting.”
***

[taranwillow4ever]

DIBS. I promise that I am not all stalkerish. I am waiting on someone to comment on Meeting Expectations so I can add another installment. I think I just finished it, and went to look if there was an feedback and there I saw your new addition.

That thought made her gulp loudly, feeling uncomfortable with the idea. Hopefully she’d find a cure soon, or Tara would have to come out all over again. There wasn’t a supportive and colorful flyer for that one.

I smiled at this quote, and now understand how to do them!! Only took almost 10 years. Slow on the uptake. Made me think of the flyer. "Are you going to turn into a demon?" "Worried about killing your loved ones? Meet us at the Stevenson cafeteria at 8 pm. We will be the ones in the corner with our backs to everyone."

Willow almost dropped her chopsticks. A wave of heat rippled up her body, her eyes glued to the blonde’s neck. A long, delicate and oh so soft looking neck. She gulped, finding her mouth dry Willow took a few sips of her drink while peeking from over her glass.

Lesbians eating sushi. It was one of my first dates too. I think it kind of is a litmus test. I was naïve when I took my ex partner, she said she'd never eaten sushi, so I offered to take her out to get some. Remembered that it is definitely a sensual experience. SIGH


Reading and writing all this fan fiction is making me sort of sad and lonely. The idea of starting to date at the age of almost 54 is scary, but as I read, I realize that I want some adult companionship.

Love reading your story. Please keep writing and I'll keep reading.

[shirrey]

I smiled at this quote, and now understand how to do them!! Only took almost 10 years. Slow on the uptake. Made me think of the flyer. "Are you going to turn into a demon?" "Worried about killing your loved ones? Meet us at the Stevenson cafeteria at 8 pm. We will be the ones in the corner with our backs to everyone."

oh my god, I wonder if the flyer would be written in some sort code only demons could figure out.
taranwillow4ever, I completely relate on the sad and lonely feelings coming from reading (and starting to write) fanfic, it can lead a serious case of the single lady blues.


CopperAndGold, I don't even know what to say. That was so sweet and sexy and sensual and adorable! I am glad to see Tara's hope for finding a cure and that even if she can't that it may not spell the end for her and Willow. Even if she feels she might need a Slayer to restrain her- and I glad to read that you are planning on exploring the demon stuff.

I would like to think Willow feels different about dating Tara, because she is dating Tara, because what they have is different and special than what she has ever experienced. I feel pretty good about this theory

[CopperAndGold]

This is not an update, just a quick reply to feedback since Shirrey (Edited) touched on something I wanted to bring up!

DIBS. I promise that I am not all stalkerish. I am waiting on someone to comment on Meeting Expectations so I can add another installment. I think I just finished it, and went to look if there was an feedback and there I saw your new addition.

I started reading your fic and I have to be honest, it's so raw and real - the characters I love are going through so much, especially Willow... I have a hard time sitting down and reading for a long time. It makes me really sad, but I love the theme and what you did with the characters. Their initial personalities we met in the show (some more on the periphery like Willow's parents) were spot on, and fit well with your story's setting. I'm enjoying reading it, although it is taking me a while... need many breaks.

Reading and writing all this fan fiction is making me sort of sad and lonely. The idea of starting to date at the age of almost 54 is scary, but as I read, I realize that I want some adult companionship.

Ok, good - it's not just me... *sigh*

I smiled at this quote, and now understand how to do them!! Only took almost 10 years. Slow on the uptake. Made me think of the flyer. "Are you going to turn into a demon?" "Worried about killing your loved ones? Meet us at the Stevenson cafeteria at 8 pm. We will be the ones in the corner with our backs to everyone."

oh my god, I wonder if the flyer would be written in some sort code only demons could figure out.
taranwillow4ever, I completely relate on the sad and lonely feelings coming from reading (and starting to write) fanfic, it can lead a serious case of the single lady blues.

I kind of want to try and make a flyer now, in photoshop But, seriously - stop making me notice my loneliness.

CopperAndGold, I don't even know what to say. That was so sweet and sexy and sensual and adorable! I am glad to see Tara's hope for finding a cure and that even if she can't that it may not spell the end for her and Willow. Even if she feels she might need a Slayer to restrain her- and I glad to read that you are planning on exploring the demon stuff.

This is why I'm replying now instead of waiting for the next update to be finished... I'd like to develop Tara's past but, would hate for it to become this big exhibition update filled with memories and stuff like that. It seems... lazy? I don't know. I'm wondering what you guys might think, if you have any idea of how I could incorporate that into these chronicles.

I've been hinting at stuff, here and there - is that type of info drip enough? Am I making the same mistake as the show? I require input please!

I'd love to hear what you guys might have to suggest! The next update is being written as we speak.

[shirrey]

Well yay a for updates being written as we speak!

I trust whatever you want to do. I think I have Tara's demon heritage on the brain especially because I have been writing and thus overthinking about it. I think it coming in as you feel it needs to serve the story is best.

[genuinemoldedplastic]

Here's the thing,

I've been stalking these boards/WT fanfic for the past few months ever since I finished my annual Buffy re-watch and rekindled my love for these two. I'd never really managed to get into fic for some reason but this time it's changed. The kind of fic I can dip into the most is the in-universe stuff, and I can't recall how many different versions of W/T S4 'behind the scenes canon' I have read. It's kinda cool how many different interpretations there are of how their relationship blossoms.

Anyway I had read some of your older fic, CopperAndGold, and really enjoyed your writing. It was therefore a very pleasant shock when I discovered this board was 1) still active 2) you had chosen to start a S4-based fic. Knowing that I enjoy your writing already, for it to be based around this era of time is simply a delight!

I'm not well-versed in the etiquette of feedback and all that (see aforementioned 'stalking of the boards'), but I can say that I have thoroughly enjoyed your interpretation so far. I've never had the experience until now of habitually checking the boards for updates - it's quite exciting! The way you treat Willow and Tara feels in character and believable, and it's clear that you have thought deeply about who they are. And as others have already said, it's a joy that you have chosen not to drag out the 'will they/won't they'. I've also felt like they'd recognise their feelings fairly early on. I think about how quickly they magnet-ised together in 'Tabula Rasa', and I believe a similar thing happened in their beginnings too.

In regards to Tara's demon background, it's really up to you and how you feel it serves the story best - where you go I will follow. Personally, as a reader it's not something I'm primarily fussed about in this particular point in time. This is totally personal headcanon territory here, but it's not something I imagined even Tara herself thought about much during this time. I pictured Tara in some ways pretending that her 'demonness' wasn't there, as part of her escape to college. More than that, I feel that deep down she doesn't believe it's true either, and that's why it's easier for her to repress it. In 'Family', she says to her dad something like "It doesn't feel evil, it feels good", and that jumps out to me. We all know that Tara is very perceptive, and although there is an internal conflict with what she was brought up to believe, I think she can sense deep down that there is no evil in her.

Okay didn't mean to go on a tangent about my own interpretations there - don't mind me, please go forth and do your own thing, I know it will be good!

[Will's redemption]

What a wonderful first date!
I'm proud of Tara for choosing the form-fitting jeans and against "hiding" from Willow by wearing her hair up.
At the start of the restaurant-scene I was thinking: Yummy, I have to eat some sushi soon - then you started with the sexiness and the flirting...

“I’ll uh,” The redhead squirmed in her seat, suddenly feeling constrained in the booth. “Press any button you want.” She licked her lips at the look in Tara’s eyes, sultry was the only word that came to mind. “As often as you want.”

That moment reminded me of Willow's "I like my buttons curvy" in "Neverland".

And than the kissage, wow! I'm glad they stopped before the "point of no return", though. Tara was right, they shouldn't rush this.

I guess since they already came to this stage of their relationship we won't get to see the "wobbly-chair"-scene Willow mentioned in "When Erynn found herself", will we?
Hopefully we will witness the babble Tara wished she could have recorded after Faith appears, though…

As to the demon issue, I would like to read a little (more) background to it. I always wondered after the "Family"-episode how on earth Tara's father was able to convince her mother that she was a demon and that the demon had manifested/taken control of her as she turned 20. I can't imagine a grown up wiccan falling for some plump medieval "witches are spawn of the devil = demons"-logic, so there must have been more to it. Another big question for me always was exactly what kind of "transformation" Tara feared that she thought she could "blind" the scoobies to - did she expect to grow some horns etc., although her mother looked perfectly human until her death?
As I understand your stories (including "Breaking chains") so far, "your" Tara is scared that her demon might "break out" or at least make her loose control somehow and physically hurt Willow in the process even before her 20th-birthday. I guess that fear was "encouraged" by her father to "keep her in line" before she turned 20. But why did he invent that 20th-birthday deadline in the first place?

[CopperAndGold]

First of all, thanks to: Shirrey, genuinemoldedplastic, Will's Redemption, taranwillow4ever for replying to my neutoric self, about the demon stuff. With your replies I was able to decide on a method that I can be happy with.

Now, the feedback about the date:

Lesbians eating sushi. It was one of my first dates too. I think it kind of is a litmus test. I was naïve when I took my ex partner, she said she'd never eaten sushi, so I offered to take her out to get some. Remembered that it is definitely a sensual experience. SIGH

I didn't eat sushi until well into my late twenties - I'd been out for a while by then. The sensuality of the experience wasn't lost on neither myself or my girlfriend at the time... either. Seems a common thing, should make it a stereotype like the U-Haul

I don't even know what to say. That was so sweet and sexy and sensual and adorable! I am glad to see Tara's hope for finding a cure and that even if she can't that it may not spell the end for her and Willow. Even if she feels she might need a Slayer to restrain her.

They're a triple threat, those two: Sweet, sensual and cute as heck... pretty much amounts to Sexy with a capital 'S'. Tara is struggling with understanding herself now she's away from home. It's only been a little over a year and a half her mom died, she left shortly after with her brain full of gunk. Lies were truth, truth never definitive... always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I would like to think Willow feels different about dating Tara, because she is dating Tara, because what they have is different and special than what she has ever experienced. I feel pretty good about this theory

This is a good theory, one to which I'm sure Willow will come to on her own as well. She just needs more data to compare.

Here's the thing,

I've been stalking these boards/WT fanfic for the past few months ever since I finished my annual Buffy re-watch and rekindled my love for these two. I'd never really managed to get into fic for some reason but this time it's changed. The kind of fic I can dip into the most is the in-universe stuff, and I can't recall how many different versions of W/T S4 'behind the scenes canon' I have read. It's kinda cool how many different interpretations there are of how their relationship blossoms.

Anyway I had read some of your older fic, CopperAndGold, and really enjoyed your writing. It was therefore a very pleasant shock when I discovered this board was 1) still active 2) you had chosen to start a S4-based fic. Knowing that I enjoy your writing already, for it to be based around this era of time is simply a delight!

Ok, uh... flattered. Blushing... ok, done. Thank you... I'm so happy you like my writing and that you get into it! I don't know how far back you went, but my old stuff pre-Erynn... yikes. I can't re-read them now, I feel embarrassed... I hope I've improved, I think I did which is now a bubble I beg you not to burst.

We all know that Tara is very perceptive, and although there is an internal conflict with what she was brought up to believe, I think she can sense deep down that there is no evil in her.

I wanted to bring this up because you're right, if we go by the show and only the show - it's hard to think Tara would believe she has evil inside her. But, my cannon fleshes out her past a bit more in 'When Erynn Found Herself' depicting something in her past that reinforced what her family had her believe. I think, this next update might clarify a little... but since it's not time for this type of conversation between the girls, it's only hinted at here.

What a wonderful first date!
I'm proud of Tara for choosing the form-fitting jeans and against "hiding" from Willow by wearing her hair up.
At the start of the restaurant-scene I was thinking: Yummy, I have to eat some sushi soon - then you started with the sexiness and the flirting...

I'm proud of Tara, too. Comfort zones be damned.

And than the kissage, wow! I'm glad they stopped before the "point of no return", though. Tara was right, they shouldn't rush this. I guess since they already came to this stage of their relationship we won't get to see the "wobbly-chair"-scene Willow mentioned in "When Erynn found herself", will we?

Oh, uh... unfortunately, no. It was a horrible oversight... I meant to, I really did.

Hopefully we will witness the babble Tara wished she could have recorded after Faith appears, though…

That's a promise!

But why did he invent that 20th-birthday deadline in the first place?

Ahhh, this is the crux of it really. Lilian, Tara's mom was dying... keep reading.

I think that's all of them? Not sure, my mouse has scrolling issues right now. If I missed anyone, kick me in the shin!

Onto the next update!

Paradigms and Kisses

• Author name – CopperAndGold
• Rating – Soft-R for kissing action and bewbs.
• Feedback – Always look forward to your feedback! I love checking the board to find them
• Summary – Between the episodes ‘Goodbye Iowa’ and ‘This years girl’. Hangouts and Makeouts.

---

The room’s lighting was wrong, not unpleasantly so – just, wrong. Too dark? When she looked ahead, she realized it was Tara’s room. The blonde witch in question stood at the window, the curtains thrown wide – moonlight highlighting her silhouette casting her head in a golden halo.

Her hair pulled back, the low collared white blouse, the necklace resting just above the center of a hidden cleavage, the fitting jeans… Willow took a step forward, feeling like her feet were weighed down. Tara smiled invitingly, a little tilt of her head. The sensations from her date’s kiss rushed through her lithe frame, wanting nothing more than to relive it.

The blonde reached up a hand, her eyes heavy and cheeks pink. She was in her arms in the blink of blue eyes, Willow’s mouth at her neck hungrily kissing and nibbling the smooth skin there. Something pulsed around them, Tara’s breathing in erratic synch with it.

Everything was hazy, feelings became indiscriminate. Vague and unfocused, details lost – touches were gropes, handfuls of flesh. Sounds distorted, smells just slightly off… she felt fingers much like her own but, colder and definitely misplaced.

Startled, she jumped back a step and saw the beautiful witch with her head thrown back against a leather covered shoulder. Arms were gripping her, holding her up. Lipstick; dark red marks at her neck - Tara’s incoherent keening the redhead didn’t recognize, had never heard before.

Willow saw herself holding Tara up, but it wasn’t her was it? “Wanna be bad?” The vampire smirked, tilting her head towards her prey and raising inviting eyebrows.

“Don’t.” Willow almost took another step back, her tone of voice menacing, “Get away from her.” She said through gritted teeth.

Vampire-Willow pouted, “Don’t wanna.” She replied petulantly, running a finger down Tara’s neck. “Smells pretty.”

“Yeah,” The redhead tried to reason with the fiend, “Ok, yeah I get that. I like her too, in fact I was just…” She grew angrier at her doppelganger’s actions while completely ignoring her.

Her finger had crept lower, down the center of the blonde’s neck and chest. It pulled at the top’s collar granting herself a naughty peek. Her widened eyes darted toward Willow, obviously pleased with what she saw, her tongue pressing against her bottom lip lasciviously.

Willow shouted, “Hey! Stop that, you pervert!” Shaking her head and pointing accusingly. How was she here? She was ruining everything! “I was here first, you know.” She ended lamely, “It’s me she wants.”

The vampire chuckled derisively, even Tara seemed to smile at that. “I am you, doofus.” Her hand reached up and took hold of a full breast, the blonde’s sharp intake of breath and the subsequent deep kiss caused Willow to be confused and conflicted. Her hands, her lips felt… she raised her fingers to see.

They felt as if she were kissing and touching Tara.

“Stop it.” Willow whined impotently, the sensations running through her completely incongruous with her emotions. She looked down at her hands, smooth and supple skin moved against her palms making her mouth water but her hands were empty. “Sto-Stop…” Her voice grew weak, fingertips damp, vision hazy she could only see fuzzy blobs moving in moonlight, low feral growls and soft moans.

“No, don’t...” It was Tara’s pleading whispers, “Please, don’t stop.” Willow both hated and loved the desperation in that voice, couldn’t help but feel like it was partly directed at her.

“Tara,” The redhead begged, “She’s gonna ruin everything!” The rattle of metal to her right almost got her attention. She blinked furiously, trying to focus on what the vampire was doing. A pressure between her legs making her legs shake. “She’s not me.” Willow could only mumble, her center having turned liquid, feet now stuck to the floor.

Another loud rattle, this time she recognized it. The high-school library book cage being rammed by a werewolf, “Oz?” Ok, this was seriously messed up now. She turned to see the library and the cage, Oz wolfed-out facing away and looking down at something, saliva dripping from his fangs.

Her hands trembled, felt like she’d stuck a finger into a wet, scorching velvet electrical socket. Something caught her eye, on the ground in front of the wolf. Vision clearing for the time it took to recognize strands of copper-red hair. A sudden and explosive blur of dark fur as Oz lunged forward roaring loudly.

With a start, Willow shot straight up in bed panting. Heart racing, she wiped at her forehead and tried to straighten her pajama top. “B-bad,” Shaking her head furiously, she blinked a few times trying to dispel her dream. Whether nightmare or wet-dream, the matter was still being debated by her mind and body. “Bad dream.” She croaked tightly, looking toward Buffy’s bed expecting her roommate to have been woken up by her thrashing.

But the Slayer, after a long night of patrolling for Adam, was still sound asleep.

Willow fell back and let out a deep, calming breath. What the heck? She grumbled mentally. Her dreams were often vivid and odd, but rarely ominous. No Slayer dreams for this witch, and she hadn’t dreamt of her doppelganger in ages.

She’d gone to bed expecting wonderful dreams after the evening she’d had with Tara. This definitely was not what she’d signed up for. If Willow wouldn’t have been so frustrated, she’d have wanted to analyze whatever that had been. But, as it was – she was slightly uncomfortable in her pj’s, and wide awake thinking of Tara.

Best date, ever. She smirked to herself proudly.

Everything had felt different with Tara. From the moment of meeting, every action had been instinctual. It wasn’t the attention the witch had given her that had spurred Willow to action, it had been of her own volition. Tara had her attention from the start – it’d been herself reaching for something, someone she’d wanted.

She’d reacted to Oz, but had acted for Tara. Such a small… big difference. Willow had returned Oz’ affections for all the things he’d checked off an itemized list of pre-requisites, as well as a few wishful items like him being cute and popular. One could dream, and this young redhead had – then there came Oz, jumping in front of a bullet for her.

Not only did he fit perfectly, but he cared a lot and they both grew to love each-other deeply. Every milestone in their relationship had felt like a logical, next step. Everything easily foreseen because of having witnessed these types of relationships before, had longed for one herself. At times she’d found herself disappointed. Thinking it seemed like it should have been more passionate, somehow.

But, this experience with Tara was completely different. It was exciting but frightening as well - she had no idea what she was doing. What should happen? How fast, what could and couldn’t she do?

She felt like she’d jumped into the deep end without knowing how to swim. Wait… what are the bases, now?

Xander had told her about the bases growing up. First base, second base… the progression of make-out sessions. They’d made her blush and squirm innocently, then they’d come in handy with Oz.

But now things seemed vague.

She was obviously no expert, but second and fourth base seemed to overlap in this particular case. Never mind that, what the heck is a homerun now? Her nose crinkled up, she’d confused herself again.

It was way too early for this.

***

It’d started out by just being Evil. Witchcraft was its science and magic its tool. Tara had been born full of evil potential and her father made sure she knew it on that day.

She was seven when she’d discovered by accident that her reach wasn’t as short as she’d thought. Tara had dropped her crayon, it’d rolled under her bed. Trying to reach it physically had failed, but in her struggle perception had shifted away and back when she got stuck momentarily and panicked. She hadn’t understood what had happened, but the crayon had been propelled across the floor.

When she’d finally squirmed out from halfway under the bed, her brother had been standing in the doorway – shocked. He’d called for his father then, saying how Tara was like their mom. How she’d attacked him with flying crayons.

The law of the house was laid down for her that day. Tara started getting lessons about control from her mother. Her father changed with her, became stricter. For having frightened her brother, he’d been allowed to carry out her punishment. Donny got away with a lot after that, he’d only had to threaten his sister to get his way.

Tara had to learn house chores from her mother who’d been loving and a delight to spend time with.

At seven, she’d learned to wash dishes, set the table and help with clothes. Idle hands weren’t allowed for those whose hands could wield power. That power would serve virtuous purposes in the Maclay household.

Her mother had long since accepted her burden but sometimes resented punishments when they came. Her transgressions had all seemed so harmless… a little spell to save the meatloaf from burning. Raising her voice when she got irritated, demanding answers when things didn’t add up. She’d been a spirited woman, but guilt had kept her on the right path for the most part. Discipline, for the rest.

Aaron knew the last thing Lilian had wanted was to end up like her mother. From what little Tara had heard, that woman had been… mean. A mean witch was a dangerous witch, her mother had concluded cryptically.

The years went by and the words 'Evil' and 'Demon' became interchangeable as her source of magic. The older Tara got the more details she’d glean about it in passing as Aaron, her father, had started calling it that when detailing its insidious temptations. Her failures at resisting them, bad behavior that needed correcting.

When the transgression was too big for a simple talking to, Donny would often be the one meting out the punishment. He knew Aaron didn’t enjoy it and would offer to relieve him of the chore as the eldest (and only) son.

To this day, Tara didn’t know if her father had any idea how bad Donny really was. Or, whether he did and let him do it, anyway.

Her brother reveled in describing the monster to her in detail, made it a physical thing for her to visualize while she got punished. You don’t know, sis. He’d seen their mother change one day before being brought to the basement, he’d said. Donny had described what he’d supposedly seen. A picture of horns, talons and scales had been painted without so much as a word from her parents.

Tara had been young enough for the image to sear into her brain, forever branding herself a demon with every hit of the belt or fist. With every lie, every bad thought – being envious, prideful or greedy – eventually, she didn’t need her father or brother to keep herself in line.

Her mother’s cancer had been diagnosed terminal when her father told Tara about the twenty-year-old deadline, almost ten years to the day after telling her she had Evil inside. You’ll want to give in more than ever if you leave. He’d said. At that age… It’ll come out, you’ll need us. You can’t leave here.

But, there was no way she was going back. She was starting to think Evil and Demon got mixed up, parts made sense to her and others didn’t. But, she had so little light to shine on it all… she couldn’t make out the truth. So, she had to try and fight it – whatever it was, her mother had accepted it. Tara wouldn’t.

If her demon wasn’t a demon and her family was just weird, each in their own way… Her father was controlling and hated witchcraft, her brother cruel and her mother deeply conflicted. At the very least, she figured being away from it all was a good thing.

She put her Tarot cards away, having been setting them up and down again while sitting on her bed – thinking. She had every reason in the world not to go back, now. Magic was supposed to be evil, from her demon. With Willow though, it felt nothing like evil. Nothing she did with the redhead felt evil, other than her sabotaging the locator spell. She’d done it out of fear. Willow fought evil pretty much every day.

Her father had made magic a trigger for her fears, and here was Willow dismantling it by shining light.

Last night’s date and the resulting spine-melting kissing… Tara never wanted to disregard the whole demon thing more than she did now. But, the lust she’d felt already in Willow’s presence, like she’d never felt before – the temptation to give in to something that overpowering… it was everything her parents had warned her about.

She hadn’t told Willow just how bad things had gotten in the end, with Rachel. Losing control again was a deeply worrying thought, even if she really did doubt she would ever hurt the redhead. Demon or not, there was evil in her. The magic might not come from it, or the demon – but she’d seen it. Had let it out before – oh, she believed.

Tara had been lost in thought since receiving a call from said redhead over an hour ago. She would be on her way by now, with a surprise. Tara busied herself straightening the room up before making sure her hair wasn’t a mess and that she was happy enough with how she looked.

For now she wouldn’t think about the demon. Tara would be self-aware and in control, but for the sake of being a good person… not out of fear. At least, that was the plan. Her paradigms kept changing.

***

Willow kicked the bottom of the door lightly, announcing her arrival. Her arms were full at the moment, “Hey,” She said slightly winded when the door opened.

“Hey Will-oh! Um…” Tara pulled the door open completely to give the redhead room to pass, “A television?” She asked her excited looking friend.

Willow stepped in quickly with the small box in her arms, and a backpack on her back. “Yeah!” She responded excitedly, “I thought we could watch something if you want.” Looking around the room, she quickly asked. “Where should I put it?” She winced, “My arms are falling off.”

Tara hastily cleared a space on the desk, “Here.” She offered, wondering what they would watch. Whatever it was, she was sure to enjoy spending time with Willow. When the television was put down, Tara stepped behind the redhead and pulled the backpack off her shoulders. “This is heavy.” She observed before kissing a soft, freckled cheek and dropping the bag on the bed.

Her stomach fluttered at Tara’s kiss. Willow exhaled loudly with relief, “Aahhh, thanks.” She rotated her shoulders and stretched her back, pointing at the bag. “There’s a VCR in there with some tapes.” When the blonde turned to look after handing off the VCR, she busied herself with setting everything up.

Tara sat on the edge of the mattress, peeked into the bag knowing she wouldn’t recognize much. Deciding to leave it up to the redhead to introduce her, she instead focused on watching the setup process.

Willow had on a pair of dark pants that were nicely pulled across her bum, bent over the desk to connect the electronics together. She remembered the feel of that butt in her hands, how firm and yielding it had been as the girl had moved against her. Is that thing set up yet? She thought, fidgeting in place uncomfortably.

“Ok, All done.” Came the chipper announcement, “What’d’ya choose?” Willow asked excitedly, opening her arms indicating the small television. Tara’s sideways glance at the bag and shrug was explanation enough. “Want me to show you?”

“Hm-mm,” The blonde nodded enthusiastically. Her smile reaching her eyes making them seem to sparkle. Tara patted the mattress and scooted further onto the bed. “I don’t know any of these, I’m s-sure.”

The mattress dipped a little under Willow’s weight as she joined her, “Those can wait, first...” She said airily, straightening her arm to lean towards her crush, “How ‘bout a kiss?” The redhead fluttered her lashes comically and pursed her lips which had the desired effect, a Tara-giggle and a soft, tender kiss.

“Mmm.” Her arm started to tremble as the kiss went on, leaning all her weight onto it as she was. Weak from having carried the t.v. all this way, it hadn’t taken much for it to protest.

It’d been a good kiss, but not good enough to miss the shaking. “You ok?” The blonde asked sweetly. “Your arms are sore.” Reaching for the appendage in question, she took hold of the lean bicep and massaged gently. The warmth of Willow’s skin permeating the fabric of her shirt, she made her movements slow and deliberate, savoring every touch.

Tingles of relief raced up her arm and down her spine. “Mmm,” Willow’s eyes grew heavy, the massage felt so nice. “You’re good at that.” She twisted her hips, turning towards Tara inconspicuously making sure her other arm was accessible. But, judging by the blonde’s grin and raised eyebrow, she’d been found out. “Not my fault, it’s jealous.”

“Hm-mm,” Came the short reply, the smile never leaving Tara’s face. “So, what did you bring?” How in the world could she resist this girl’s charms? Why would she ever want to?

Willow explained the different movies and shows she’d brought, categorically grouping them by genre. Looking back at the blonde expectantly, she asked. “What are you in the mood for?”

The question had been asked innocently enough, but Tara’s cheeks tinged pink nonetheless as she reached for the other arm. “Something…” Her eyes shot up in thought before saying, “Cuddly.” With a sweet grin that made Willow’s belly flop. “That’s not a genre category.” She countered wittily.

The blonde had her own retort, though. “And, I’m not a koala.” She looked proud, her smile growing wider. “Still cuddly.”

***

She couldn’t be more pleased with her choice. As soon as the movie had started, Tara had been intent on the television, in rapt attention. Willow was leaning against the headboard, the blonde had started off by her side but – throughout the film they’d shifted around.

Tara watched ‘A Bugs Life’, her head resting on Willow’s thigh while the redhead watched the play of emotions come to life on the blonde’s beautiful face. Running fingers through soft hair, feeling her heart tug every time Tara laughed.

She’d given herself this time to really enjoy looking at her crush. Willow had seen this shirt before, it was a simple white cotton shirt with a design on the front, but Tara filled it so alluringly. Laying partly on her side, the evocative sight of her breasts’ movements as she laughed – could desire be funny? A jiggle that seemed to beckon grabby hands and watering mouths. ‘Hi!’ They wobbled, Tara’s laughter the music her breasts danced to. And, a nose had never been so perfectly shaped, really. Had she ever even noticed someone’s nose, before? Willow was in heaven, all these complex emotions were new to her and only fueled her anticipation at discovering more.

At a particularly worrisome moment in the film, she’d been unable to resist smoothing out the crease between anxious blue eyes with a finger. Tara had turned towards her - with an embarrassed grin and rosy cheeks, she’d reached out.

The kissing started sometime around then, things were a little hazy now. But, there was definitely skin under her fingers. Smooth, soft and warm – Tara weighed her down, anchoring her to the mattress with her exquisitely yielding warmth. Legs entwined, hands roaming tentatively along sides.

Willow clutched at the skin, Tara’s waist was so smooth, their kiss deepening. The sweet sounds she made just spurred the redhead on, everything was hot – the room, the air, the space between them, the mattress, Tara’s skin, her skin – the redhead wanted to roll over, be on top – press her down, just... She wanted to move. Her hands… her whole body just wanted to wriggle and press into Tara.

“Mmn,” Her lips pulled away with a quiet pop, “Ok, whew,” She said, turning her head slightly. Need a… something… She shifted a bit and her eyes shot wide at the feeling between her legs. I’m… I’m soaking wet! The blonde was too busy to notice her blush of embarrassment, thank the universe.

For Tara’s part, things were much… much the same. The seam of the pants she wore easily discernable, pressed against Willow’s leg as she was. She hadn’t heard the sigh, only noticed the movement – lost to sensation, her lips had travelled down the front of a thudding throat. Tara left the spot thoroughly tongued and kissed, fingers grasping at a wriggling hip. At least it had been wriggling… “Ok?” She half-mumbled and whispered against the skin bellow Willow’s ear.

“Hm?” Goosebumps, her skin had exploded when Tara’s hot breath hit her ear, “Oh yeah… just…” Her hips dug into the mattress, trying to push the ache away. “Wow, you know?” Her labored breathing, bright eyes and mussed up hair painted a lightly debouched portrait. Blowing air at her forehead did nothing to clear it of sticking strands of hair.

Tara giggled, leaning her forehead against Willow’s collarbone. Of course she knew, “I know,” Couldn’t resist a little kiss there, “Are you hungry?” The question made the earth shake, her head now hopping along with the redhead’s laughter.

***

[taranwillow4ever]

Dibs

The years went by and Evil became interchangeable with Demon, it became a source of magic. The older Tara got the more details she’d glean about it in passing as Aaron, her father, had started calling it that when detailing its insidious temptations. Her failures at resisting them, bad behavior that needed correcting.

I read these sentences several times; I am confused, is there a word missing, or a comma? .
What I think I understand is: Demon=source of magic. As Tara got older, she learned more about the demon from her father's comments. Did her father call the demon "it"? Them=Evil and Demon and inferred magic.


I feel like this is a very important passage. I want to truly understand it.


I must say I am so happy that the beginning was a dream. I am not as versed in each episode. Did Vamp Willow make an appearance in one of these two episodes, or is this just a CooperAndGold dream creation?

The question had been asked innocently enough, but Tara’s cheeks tinged pink nonetheless as she reached for the other arm. “Something…” Her eye shot up in thought before saying, “Cuddly.” With a sweet grin that made Willow’s belly flop. “That’s not a genre category.” She countered wittily.

I liked this interchange.

[CopperAndGold]

Dibs

The years went by and Evil became interchangeable with Demon, it became a source of magic. The older Tara got the more details she’d glean about it in passing as Aaron, her father, had started calling it that when detailing its insidious temptations. Her failures at resisting them, bad behavior that needed correcting.

I read these sentences several times; I am confused, is there a word missing, or a comma? .
What I think I understand is: Demon=source of magic. As Tara got older, she learned more about the demon from her father's comments. Did her father call the demon "it"? Them=Evil and Demon and inferred magic.

I feel like this is a very important passage. I want to truly understand it.

This is me trying to speak to the insidiousness of language in a situation where someone has control over another. Tara was young, ten to thirteen, when her father started exchanging the word 'evil' with demon. If anything, I kind of see it as an initial slip on his part. Used the word demon a few times, before Donny picked it up and made it something else through cruel 'play'.

[Just as an aside, I've been interested in sects, cults and religion my whole life so I guess this is me trying to explain how I got to understand why people would follow an ideology to the point of doing bad things to others.]

I see Aaron as a deeply religious person who is, like everyone, flawed - I'd go on to say deeply in his case. His fear drives most his actions, making him controlling and blind to his son's behavior. Donny, by contrast, is a cruel guy and will take any advantage he can get over his sister - has grown up seeing his mother being subjugated and has come to take that on as the way to be. I think that Donny would have been the main "painter" of the demon as an actual creature that would "come out" or manifest. Aaron used the word to mean Evil initially - the dark force of the bible. Donny made it a concrete thing in Tara's mind. I think there was a bond between father and son which would have made it perfect ground for Donny to plant the seed in his father's head about the demon being "real" to Tara so she wouldn't rebel and go all magic mama. Aaron and Donny then, would have conspired to make it her reality in time for her mom's death - to keep her at home so they wouldn't have to 'do for themselves'.

language and its use is important. Spells, religious texts, etc... Language is a programming force as well as communicative, like with computers. A word becomes a symbol representing emotion - Evil = Demon = Magic = DON'T or else. The '=' sign here is in time measurement equal to 0. A trigger - Word = Emotional Reaction. No thought, rational or pause - pure instinctual reaction. Mind-Control.

That was wordy... but I hope it makes sense? Let me know, you're right in thinking I placed importance in that passage. I'll re-write it if need be for it to be clear. Thank you for the feedback!

I must say I am so happy that the beginning was a dream. I am not as versed in each episode. Did Vamp Willow make an appearance in one of these two episodes, or is this just a CooperAndGold dream creation?

No, not at all - Vamp Willow stayed in season 3. This is all my brain cannon We'll pick up with the show's episode soon, with This year's girl. There's a period of time between the two - these few next updates will be during that time.

I felt I needed to reply to this since I happened to see it and I feel it might be of use to others who read this update. If anyone else feels the passage in question isn't clear enough, let me know!

Thanks again!

[Will's redemption]

I'm not good at dream interprentation, but my guess is Willow is subconsciously scared about the lust she feels towards Tara. Embrace it Willow, it's all of the good!

Tara's trip down the memory lane of her childhood and youth made me really, REALLY hate her brother, hate her dad and dislike her mom for not protecting her daughter from all the abuse she must have known about.
I fervently hope that in your Version of the "Family"-episode Donny and Aaron will try to force Tara to come with them against her will and receive some pummeling from Buffy and Xander for it!

The scenes of Willow and Tata together were again a perfect mix of cuteness and sexiness.

“And, I’m not a koala.” She looked proud, her smile growing wider. “Still cuddly.”

So cute! Can someone create a koala-smiley for this board?

Willow was in heaven, all these complex emotions were new to her and only fueled her anticipation at discovering more.

Yay, go girl, no fears of the unknown!

“Wow, you know?” Her labored breathing, bright eyes and mussed up hair painted a lightly debouched portrait. Blowing air at her forehead did nothing to clear it of sticking strands of hair.

Tara giggled, leaning her forehead against Willow’s collarbone. Of course she knew, “I know,” Couldn’t resist a little kiss there, “Are you hungry?” The question made the earth shake, her head now hopping along with the redhead’s laughter.

[shirrey]

Willow's dream was really interesting (I keep misreading Vamp Willow as Dark Willow and that gave it a whole different edge) Will's dream line that 'she will ruin everything' has me thinking, is it fear of her sexuality, fear of the future actions that could be seen as evil, fear of having Tara part of her vampire fighting reality? It was almost as if Willow was talking about being the softer side of Sears girl, but opposite. Even more disturbing is her dream self showing Tara liking the vampire's attention. I am rereading Sidestep right now and keep being brought back to that. But here, I wonder what that means to Willow.

I love your description of the difference (and similarities) about Willow's feeling towards Oz and those toward Tara. I certainly don't want to start a 'should Willow have been bi?' discussion, but the way you wrote it fully embraced, to me, how Willow could have really loved Oz and still been gay. There are other binds to people loving each other besides sex, but also how one reacts sexually is really important to a relationship that's ,well, sexual. Doesn't mean she loved Oz any less, just that there is something more with Tara.

Tara's demon thing, the show really did it muddy didn't it? There wasn't even fear from Tara when her birthday was arriving until her family showed up. But maybe that was it. She thought she was past it, or that her family had let it go and she could deal ( but she still should have shown some fear before they showed). I do believe that their presence would make the fears quadruple, like she thought if they came for her, maybe it was real. Anyway, how you are weaving it works a nice line between fear of it being true and enough hope for their to be doubt. Paradigms shifting, totally. You have already shown that Tara is hopeful that she can find a cure or at least a way to manage it, but maybe she is also burying it a bit to be able to enjoy what is happening between her and Willow.

Their koala date was the sweetest. They are so comfortable and coupl-y already, and we buy it because we can see the connection. I love the non-sequiter at the end, it's such a true moment of, ok how do we shift from this hot make out session we are not quite ready to explore further? and Willow cracking up showing that they are comfortable enough to be awkward with each other. Yay!

[shirrey]

Bumping this hoping C&G is still lurking around. I miss this Fic! I hope it someday continues

[Will's redemption]

I second that! Please continue this wonderful fic!

[CopperAndGold]

Oh good, I wasn't starting to write again for nothing hehehe

I've been in a more stable place these days and might have been writing a continuation to this fic on the down-low. I'm glad to see there is still interest in reading it!

Expect something soon-ish

[Azirahael]

I too look forward to reading the continuation, now that i have found this yuge story.

Simple, but good. Well written.
Sometimes you don't need to turn Willow into an airship captain, for a story to be interesting.
And that's a sign.


If you can take well trodden ground, and make it fresh and exciting, that's pretty good work.
Bravo.

R

[shirrey]

Oh good, I wasn't starting to write again for nothing hehehe

I've been in a more stable place these days and might have been writing a continuation to this fic on the down-low. I'm glad to see there is still interest in reading it!

Expect something soon-ish

WOO and HOO!!! both for feeling better and for impending updates!!

[Will's redemption]

I've been in a more stable place these days and might have been writing a continuation to this fic on the down-low. I'm glad to see there is still interest in reading it!

Expect something soon-ish

I'm overjoyed to hear that!

[Will's redemption]

Hi! I'm giving you a gentle nudge here because since your anouncement of a "soonish" update seven weeks have passed...

[Lonewolf22]

I’m almost caught up with the is awesome fic and we need more of it PLEASE, I love how they are both discovering each other and I love the subtle attraction to each other that Willow and Tara have it’s like Love finds a way, so please, please, please we need more of this in our lives

[CopperAndGold]

I’m almost caught up with the is awesome fic and we need more of it PLEASE, I love how they are both discovering each other and I love the subtle attraction to each other that Willow and Tara have it’s like Love finds a way, so please, please, please we need more of this in our lives

Well, fine then - so be it. You ask, you shall receive! Really, I would need more of it in my life as well.

Thank you for the interest you've shown, seriously. This is the pre-Erynn story, which I'm starting to realize I shouldn't have named such. It seems to make people think it's centered around NOT our girls which is... well, it wouldn't be on the Kitten, now would it? But still, it's a new character and I understand the reticense.

I'll be updating Erynn, and then will be taking a side-quest just for you. hehe really, I want to finish all my fics.

[shirrey]

Yay for side quests!!! I adore this story so far!!

[Lonewolf22]

Just finished it, Awesome. I love the make out sessions and Willow’s dream was weird but understandable she is still getting used to dating Tara.

Thank you for the reply I’m waiting with bated breath for the update and I will start reading your other fic. I love seeing our girls just talk and hang out and fall more in love with each other, and I want to see the meet Faith in Buffy and read more about when Oz returns and Willow comes out to Buffy

[CopperAndGold]

Yay for side quests!!! I adore this story so far!!

Looking forward to your thoughts on this update as well!

Just finished it, Awesome. I love the make out sessions and Willow’s dream was weird but understandable she is still getting used to dating Tara.

Thank you for the reply I’m waiting with bated breath for the update and I will start reading your other fic. I love seeing our girls just talk and hang out and fall more in love with each other, and I want to see the meet Faith in Buffy and read more about when Oz returns and Willow comes out to Buffy

Oh, I know, I know - the big moments. We're almost there though - and this update brings up right up to 'This years girl'. I hope you enjoy it!

Onto it!

---

Today’s Girls

• Author name -- CopperAndGold
• Rating - NC-17

• Feedback - Yes, please and always.
• Summary - Willow and Tara explore further their closeness.

---

They'd met a few months ago now, and started dating not that long after that. She marveled at the speed, the sheer rightness of it all. It was just... so powerful, that pull. Even just for times when all they did was talk and spend time together, getting to know each-other better. Or, times when they'd learn magic or do assignments for classes. Doing errands, or moments when they just couldn't keep their hands off each-other...

Willow hadn't slept over since they'd started actually dating. It wasn't brought up as a problem by either of them, though. Tara was more than happy to let Willow set the pace of their relationship having reasoned it being all so new for the girl. Although, she - herself - didn't feel she could be rushed into anything.

As far as being ready was concerned... Ready as ready can be, ready. She didn't mind the anticipation much -- it was kind of nice. Tara had never thought herself such a fan of delayed gratification but, there it was.

Moments together, like this one, when she was trying to concentrate on finishing up an assignment she'd put aside in preference for Willow-time. Truth be told, Tara had been a bit of a truant responsibilities-wise since they'd started dating. It was so easy to lose herself in the girl. "I can feel your eyes on me, you know." The smirk on her face half-obscured to the redhead, sitting askance as she was.

Willow was sat on the bed, reading from the book Tara had borrowed from the owner of the store. No matter what, she always seemed to surprise the redhead, having explained how she'd struck a friendship with him a while back. That his name was Mr. Bogarty.

But, really the problem was reading. Having to focus her eyes on a book, instead of the blonde witch.

Sitting at the desk the way she was, Willow could make out the contours of Tara's upper body. The top she was wearing being slightly form-fitting left her with lots of distractions. Well, two in particular... "Can not." She feigned innocence, her eyes returning to the book with somewhat of a start. She'd not expected the blonde to speak up. "This is an interesting book you know, i-it's not like I'm not woo-hoo knowledge guy -- I love books, e-especially magic books..."

If Willow were Achilles, patience would be her heel. It had been an hour since the object of her affections, and reason she was in a state, had extricated herself from their delicious embrace saying she was going to flunk her class if she didn't at least finish her assignment. But, an hour? "I miss you being here, and your voice a-and stuff.." She sounded pitiful but didn't care. Time went by too fast in this girl's presence, soon enough she'd have to go home to hers and Buffy's. The next day wasn't one they could share.

And she wanted more smoochies, damn it.

For her part, Tara had been done for the past five minutes or so. Still looking studious, relishing in the feeling of Willow's attention getting heavier and heavier. If anything, she'd needed the little respite. Yes, little -- because when the redhead was turned on, and on you and, and... hesitant?

Well, an hour was needed to cool off as well as tend to her actual, life responsibilities. Two birds, one stone... why can't it be two cookies, one mouth? Only, feeling Willow's attention caress her warmly from the distance between them, Tara felt an hour might not be long enough after all.

And there went her mind, thinking of mouths. One mouth, a Willow-mouth, "I-I'm done," She said lightly before her chair turned, closing the book she'd been half-looking at. Her face sporting the cutest, most mischievous grin, "Have been for a bit now." Finishing the thought with a shrug and giggle.

The way those eyes looked then. Tara couldn't fight the shiver her skin exploded into, one look and she knew she was in trouble. The fun kind of trouble, the kind that said: "I'm literally starving and you made me wait for food!?" The blonde shook out of it, the thought having sounded too much like something she wasn't, and would not entertain.

No, this was too promising a feeling to ruin. The want in those green eyes was so, so difficult to deny. So responsive was Tara's body that - if anyone else were there she'd be covering up with a sweater or crossed her arms. Chills, indeed.

The blonde rose from her chair to meet the person whose eyes were now most definitely tracking further South, having noticed the evidence of her nipples pushing against taught fabric. Willow didn't avert her eyes while her hand absentmindedly pushed the closed tome aside taking care to not make it fall off the bed. Tara felt like a meal... a whole, three course meal, and there sat a cheetah, sizing her up. Gulp.

"Really?" The question was rhetorical, but sounded incredulous and almost pained, "After an hour? I've been good, sitting here quietly," She reached out, took hold of hips she was quickly becoming a big fan of, pulling toward her slightly. Tara nodded, saying yes -- she'd been good. Right, so they agreed, then. Feeling warm and soft fingers combing through her hair, from the top of her crown to her ears raised her skin into goosebumps.

Willow smiled and rested her forehead on an alluring stomach, "This effect you have on me," Shaking her head, again baffled at the turn of events in her life. "I've never felt..." She'd had to look up then, needing for Tara to understand.

Tara tried to tell Willow with her eyes, but she felt she needed to voice it, "Me either," Delicate hands were flirting with the skin at the base of her shirt, again she shivered. Willow was so close to the resulting tightened flesh, Tara felt the girl's breath become labored and the hands now more adventurous in spirit, creeping up. "Come, lie with me." A husky, breathy tone laced the invitation, she couldn't deny her if she tried.

But, she didn't want to be lying down. Instead Tara opted to scoot closer and pushed her girl's shoulders as she climbed up onto her thighs, straddling her legs. She knew the fascination, or attraction Willow had for her breasts. The fixation, even if it had only been through looks and grazing fingers, was impossible to miss. Her breasts had never been so sensitive as when the redhead's attention was on them... she wanted, needed her to not hesitate so much and just... do, though.

As the young woman lied down, her eyes grew deeper, the twitching fingers against her stomach made her lips grin lopsidedly; Willow tried to stretch and reach. Tara took her hands and laced their fingers together, a current coursed through them, "You can touch me, them... you know." Being bold, it was slowly growing on her and she liked it. Nevertheless, she did blush at her forthright invitation.

Had she been so obvious? To herself, absolutely -- Willow felt as though she was drooling. But, embarrassed at having been caught literally ogling the blonde, she couldn't help the little guilty cringe. "That obvious, huh?"

Nods, obvious -- yes. A smile, and blue eyes that promised something. Or, was making good on a promise? It didn't matter, Willow felt her hands were moving. In Tara's hands, her own -- over the shirt, moving upward. It was painfully slow, deliciously - painfully slow until Tara's breath hitched so alluringly, and her hands were now covering... "Oh,"

Willow didn't dare move. Her eyes flittered, from Tara's to her own hands, to Tara's eyes and back. What.. squeeze? I want to... can I? I feel it right in my palm, small and hard.. oh, Tara-what do I do? "Woa-uh.."

Ok, this was new. A struck-dumb Willow wasn't only cute, but confidence boosting, "Here," Hands covered hands again, and again that current of something that was just them. Tara lifted the shaking, freckled hands she loved so much slightly off her breasts -- so the girl's palms were barely touching her nipples. Oh, ok this is very nice... Her whole frame was jolted by soft tremors.

It tickled, actually tickled the palms of her hands -- nipple-tickles. The fleeting thought caught Willow off guard and made her snicker a little. "Heh, nipple-tickles." She'd only mumbled it, thinking it and somehow sound made it out her mouth -- but Tara had heard and couldn't help but laugh.

"What was that?" She beamed, sitting astride her hopefully-soon-to-be-lover. I'm already hers... "What did you say?" Shaking the delicate hands she held, her laughter was contagious.

"Uh.. hehe," Willow put a bit of resistance against the hands she now held, giggles making her feel drunk, "n-nipple-tickles!" another bark of laughter that took them both down, now lying side by side and cracking up through the inevitable nervousness the situation had created. "They tickled my hands, and-and that's all my fuzzy brain could think."

They sobered, their eyes locked onto each other again. So simple, Willow leaned in and they were kissing. 'Kissing', she thought, was such a puny word. It didn't seem capable of fitting all of what she was feeling, too small.

The way Tara kissed her, the tenderness of it mixed with a passion that was barely restrained... I mean, kissing? Nah, this was -- dare she admit it? Almost, love making-type-kissing... Oh, and how warm she was against her thigh. How did I get on top?

She loved this, the kissing. But, she still had the same goal in mind no matter if Willow was again, thankfully, blissfully, weightily on top.. She moaned, she did. She actually moaned out loud and yeah -- warranted 'cause what Willow was doing, moving like that.. "Mmhm," Tara's hands gripped and pulled at the flesh in her hands, and the girl was just pushing against, and grinding and then another moan, but this time it wasn't hers.

At once, the blonde felt their shared excitement bounce against one another, the humid heat that drew their need impossibly closer... tremors, like tiny earth quakes shaking the bed. What was this? It was absolutely delicious, and the sound -- that keening mewl in Willow's throat. Please, please, please... It needed to break into something... something more.

More ardent, more primal somehow and then, as if she'd been heard a hand confidently and firmly covered her breast -- squeezing gently, the mouth against hers went missing the time for another, louder, mewling-keening sound that somehow drove her crazy. She-she couldn't deny her this -- she just couldn't deny Willow what she wanted. She'd give it. Over and Over, whatever she wanted was all hers but just.. "Please," She caught herself saying. Again, "Please, Willow." More, more moremoremoremore

Anything, what -- She was sure she could climax, just from this alone - hearing that sweet, needy voice pleading. Willow's mouth now at Tara's throat, teeth grazing the sensitive skin there -- the soft, yielding flesh in her hand: Absolute. Fucking. Revelation.

She'd come home, comfort and sensuality all in a handful. Willow could get lost in that alone, paying all her attention to Tara's reactions. Making absolutely sure she pleased. She had to, whatever this was they were doing - it had to make Tara feel good, because- beca- "MmAhngod, Tara..." Was that a groan, a growl? Relax, oh god relax not yet... no yet...

ohmyguh- do that again. She had to find a way for that sound to happen again. As if thinking how she could had made it so, Tara took top position. Again. Panting, hair a mess -- she reached for the hem of her shirt and without a single thought to modesty -- pulled it off, right over her head. It flew over Willow's head, across the room before she fell forward again and took from her lips the most succulent of kisses. Nimble fingers worked at her bra, trembling fingers and yet -- a slight snap and Tara's chest was freed mid-dance of their tongues.

Yes, yes, skin, warm soft skin. "Aahmm," She heard herself making sounds she'd never made before, Tara was moving... against her, into her, and both her hands were full of the most exquisite feeling flesh she'd ever experienced and, "Mmhn," Her eyes rolled-up, Tara's hand having brought her face up to a taught nipple, Willow willingly - exuberantly - took it into her warm and loving mouth. That nub of tight skin, different feeling than other yielding Tara-flesh against her tongue. The way it moved so... just, so... another tremor, like, like...

It almost reminded the redhead of a day not so long ago, "It was just a sneeze." This, this Goddess, this absolute perfection of beauty above her had said that, hadn't she? Willow's mind hazy, deliriously so, still hazy- and then the tremor.. well, it stuck around because Tara was obviously really enjoying her mouth, and was that the blonde's hand creeping down her stomach?

As if she wanted no doubt as to her acquiescence, Willow nodded slightly, her voice husky around a nipple -- so possessive of it she felt, she wasn't going to let go until absolutely necessary, "Nnhyessh,"

There it is, there it is, that sound, Tara had to do something with her hands, concentrate on something else than the building tension, bubbling just below the surface at the base of her spine. Her chest was on fire, she felt she could, actually could come -- just, like this. We're still half-clothed! Well, she was any way... and, yet. Tara was surprising herself a lot, these days.

She didn't want to, though. Come, that is. That delayed gratification again? Perhaps, or maybe it was that she wanted to bring Willow along with her. Yes, she thought -- that's what it was. Decidedly so.

Button-ups. Fine, she could manage with one hand. Her breath hitched when she felt teeth tightening slightly, a groan escaping her lips feeling her thudding heartbeat pulsating in her nipple. Her pelvis just bucked, she hadn't- this time, it hadn't been in her control at all. Something new, again that only Willow could seem to make her feel- Tara's throat let out a tiny, strangled sound then a small groan -- again, out of her control. The edge of Willow's panties, at her fingertips now. So close, now, now so so..

The mattress was awfully squeaky, the thought mindlessly crossed Tara's mind and she was thankful for the distraction because, oh -- she just about let go, then. She wasn't a detective, or some all-knowing experienced lesbo -- but she sure did know the signs.

Proof, tactilely obtained -- wet, warm, soft and satin proof. Not the panties, those were cotton -- but wet with Willow? Satinslick, wet, wet satin.. She could feel it immediately, the tight bump in the landscape of Willow's womanhood, and she made sure she lavished as much attention as she could -- the hard bundle of nerves jumping under her fingers.

Her other breast was taken by a greedy mouth, willow now had the previous in her hand, having switched, and she was writhing under Tara's, and just that, Just that!? Well, all that -- at once, and the tremors were now full-blown -- a cry ripped from Willow's throat, and Tara's entire world tumbled down into an ecstatic release, body spasming with the force of it.

"Oh," The redhead's hips jerked, "Ohoh, god," Once, twice then Tara'd obviously- and now she-she, "Mmmn-aahhgh!" Willow followed hopelessly, almost forgetting not to bite down. "Uhn, unn," Livewire, her body was alight and rigid as if- that current; its wattage had been cranked up to a thousand.

Tara kept her hand where it was, slight and indirect movements -- light touches meant to calm and soothe. Her mouth was at her jaw, her neck, her lips, and jaw again kisses rained against her skin and every- each and every one, made that little part of her skin explode again. And again, and... again. Rolling, was all Willow could come up with. Rolling orgasm(s?) until that wonderful hand retreated and gave her her body back.

'Intense' would not be doing it justice, at all. This has to be it, what I was missing all this time. I was so clueless. Willow, ever proud of her intellect, was disappointed in the fact it had taken her this long to know herself.

Tara though, was grinning goofily having never experienced something like that before. She was happily laying on her back, chest bare and joy-laden. Her heart rate slowly calming, although, "Mmm, um W-willow?" The redhead was wrapped around her, holding so tightly she could feel the girl's heart beat against her ribs.

It hadn't been any of that though, that had brought her attention from the post-orgasmic haze. The resulting grumble, almost vulnerable sounding, would have caused her to worry if it wasn't for her breast still being held and a mouth still wrapped around her nipple.

As far as feelings went, it was not unpleasant at all -- cradling the girl to her as she was, but... "Are you o-ok?" I... I just don't know what to think..

Pop, the nipple left Willows mouth -- she wasn't going to not answer was she? "ok?, no. Blissful, blissful is me. Just.." She looked into Tara's caring eyes, vulnerable in a way she couldn't even quite understand. She continued hesitantly, "I-I don't know why," Shaking her head slightly, her eyes lowered, "I really like, I mean, not like," Ok, now she was frustrating herself, "Your breasts." The blonde's eyebrows said "uh huh," or, even, "duh," - but that didn't- it wasn't it.

She just decided to rest her head back down, and close her eyes; trying to make the words come that could explain -- to both of them -- why she just didn't want to let go. "You, your body. Your softness, a-and... well, comfort I guess?" Again, frustration.

Tara's hand ran up and down her back, trying to calm again, "See, if I hold you like this," She cradled a breast gently, lovingly and leaned her face against it, "It's so... I don't know, Tara. Just a few minutes ago they got me so excited I-I -- and the next they make me feel like the most vulnerable kind of comfortable, held and lo- t-taken care of..." Eeep. Big word; big O's and new word, not good. "A-and when I have you in my mouth, like just now -- I-I could just fall asleep like that, you know? Totally relaxed, and-and... do you, I mean, do you get it?" Am I like, that weird...?

Tara didn't have much to compare with, which wouldn't have made a difference either way. Whether normal, understood or not -- it made Willow happy. "I think I do," She smiled reassuringly, "B-but, right now?" She locked her ankles together and squeezed her thighs tight, "A bit s-sensitive, and you're um... I'm..." How in the world could she still blush?

Really? The proud surprise was obvious on her face, she beamed, "Am I making you all hot and bothered again, Miss Maclay?"

Oh, that mischievous tongue of hers, pressed against her teeth in a cheeky grin. "Always," Tara chuckled and shook her head -- astounded at the truth of it. "You have n-no idea, Willow."

Oh, she had ideas. "We still have time," Auburn eyebrows waggled teasingly, "I don't have to go yet." Truth be told, she didn't want to go at all. She wanted to stay and sleep in the same bed with who she was quickly thinking of as her girlfriend.

Schedules, responsibilities, all those... things. How meaningless they all seemed, but she knew there was still much to be experienced and a lot more time for them to do so together. What base was that, anyway? She might never really get the bases thing, after all. Willow couldn't care less, she'd run them all sooner or later.

I really need to work on patience.

***

The next day; day sans-Tara, arrived without fanfare. No looking forward to anything, it was a day full of Slayer worries and responsibilities. A monster hybrid on the lose, Riley being M.I.A. Buffy needed all the help she could get. Willow opened her eyes to morning and she was already in a foul mood.

The day before had been so life altering, so new and exciting. Her heart kept growing fonder and fonder of Tara, and -- whether or not the experience had been what people might call, going all the way -- She'd felt that way. If we both climax, I'd say yes -- but, no... There were other things, many she was sure, but...

Alright, it was time for her to work on that patience she was lacking. She really needed to get up.

She stretched, squeaked and kicked the covers off. Another day, another demon -- Willow, ever the rational one, had decided that the days when she wouldn't be seeing Tara, she'd wear her less-nice clothes. Reserving the best for the best, it was only fair.

Willow got ready quickly, not bothering with her hair -- she wore a hat. They were going to meet at Xander's place and she was already running a tad behind having lazed in bed longer than she should have.

No sooner ready, she was out the door and on her way. Let this day begin so that it also ends.

***

Buffy was antsy, "So can you repair it?" They were at Xander's now, the Slayer needed her pals and here Willow was, moping almost.

Riley was still presumably at the Initiative, getting patched up by the military -- the very same ones who made the thing that got out, killed its maker and went on a rampage which included Riley. This Adam guy, thing, was giving Willow some pretty bad tummy rumblings too.

Xander was looking down at a blaster gun which Buffy had brought back from having been double-crossed by Walsh, "Sure. As soon as I get my master's degree in advanced starship technology." He said crossly, slamming down the blaster.

Ok, so they were all short-fused this morning. They don't have a Tara to be with, though -- instead of this.

"Well, why don't we experiment?" She looked on, dispassionately almost, "Press some buttons, see what happens."

"I'd like to veto that." Giles said, from somewhere in the small space.

Xander agreed, "Second. It's called a blaster, Will, a word that tends to discourage experimentation."

She had to admit, he had a point there. Not her best suggestion.

"Now, if it were called the Orgazmater, I'd be the first to try your basic button press approach." He said in good old Xander fashion.

Tell me about it. She thought, agreeing completely. Her best bud would've read it on her face, but he hadn't been paying that much attention just then.

"Just tell me, can you repair it or not?" Buffy's voice cut through the banter, annoyed. Worried didn't cut it, really. The Slayer's nerves were frayed -- she was barely sleeping and she seemed in need of a good solution.

"I'm working on it, I'm working on it." And, he was... trying, "If I blow a hole in my mom's azalea patch the neighbors will not be pleased."

She heard Giles start talking with Buffy, concerned for her. Willow was as well, of course. It was just that, well she was preoccupied. How many times had she been preoccupied with a boyfriend? She thought, remembering those times in question when Buffy was nowhere to be found.

This day was going to suck.

***

She'd opened the drapes, shafts from the suns rays were stretching the length of the room. Music played on the stereo; an almost harsh guitar strumming an accompaniment to an upbeat yet soft female voice. Tara was signing and dancing along while doing chores. Her room being strewn with witchy knickknacks not only gave it an otherworldly atmosphere, but it also created decent-enough sound proofing. ".. I am thirty-two flavors and then some," That suited her just fine.

It was tidying and laundry day. Tara had scheduled it around Willow-time, of course. The redhead would be busy all day with Scooby activities of all sorts. ".. I am beyond your peripheral vision, so you might want to turn your head.." There were books that needed straightening out, dusting to do, assignments to finish... but each of her chores were done with a bounce in her step, and a giddy smile on her face. The witch couldn't help it, she was happy.

With the empty laundry basket clasped to her hip, she skipped down the stairs toward the laundry room where her clothes would be waiting. She was almost done with her chores now, then came dinner and assignments.

Then a shower and cozy book reading in bed... Who knows, she might even get the pleasure of a phone call. Now wouldn't that make it a good ending to a good day. Tara felt she needed to pinch herself sometimes, but this time when the feeling came...

She ignored it.

***

It wasn't unusual these days for Willow to welcome the fact her roommate wasn't going to be there. Tonight, was one of those. Faith had woken from her coma and escaped, Adam was performing some kind of biological research; dissecting demons now as well and stringing them up in the trees. At least Riley was back. Willow needed that one thing that she could rely on to assuage her mind, that one person.

She'd showered, done her nightly routine in anticipation of calling Tara. Crawling under the covers and making sure it wasn't too late, she picked up the receiver and called the number she'd memorized the first time she'd heard it.

It didn't take long for it to be picked up, "Hello?" When that soft spoken voice hit her ear, Willow couldn't help but smile and sigh. "Hey, it's me."

"Willow, hi -- I-I hoped you'd call." She could hear it in her voice, Tara was smiling. "I'm just lying in bed, reading."

The redhead almost whined, almost. She wanted to be there, next to her -- yes, she thought, She does feel like my girlfriend... I want my girlfriend to hold me. But all she could muster was that she'd had a long day. And, yes she was fine just a tad worried was all and yes, she'd be careful but could she ask for a favor?

"Of course," Came the automatic reply from too far away, "Could you meet me in the morning?" Willow felt small, needy and worried. With Tara by her side, she'd always felt strong and protective -- she'd literally do anything to protect the beautiful blonde. It was right at the edge of her mind, that word that had almost slipped out in a haze. The word, the one you couldn't take back. "I'm meeting with Buffy for breakfast, and we could meet sometime after that?"

It was as if she could feel the creese forming on Tara's brow, worrying about her, "Yes, of course -- Willow? Are you- do you want me to come over?" She squeezed her eyes shut, almost stinging with tears. How she wished, but Buffy would probably come by early and... "No, don't worry baby." The name just came out, "I'll just go to sleep anyway."

"O-okay," Tara responded in a somewhat dazed tone, "If-if you're sure."

Willow felt better already, "Yeah, I'm sure. Talking to you always makes things better." And she really did meant it. "Goodnight, Tara. See you in the morning." I love you... I'm pretty sure, I think.

"Goodnight, looking forward to it." That, she thought, would be both of them. And, now Willow could sleep.

***

[Lonewolf22]

Great update, I love the way that Tara teases Willow with needing to study and poor Willow has to wait to be with her, and that they can’t keep their hands off each other and the way the love to explore each other is really hot. Can’t wait for the next update.

[shirrey]

Oh I am so glad this story is back! I love how you are taking us through the beginnings of the girls' relationship.

This update was sweat and steamy- there were times reading about them being together when I couldn't quite tell who was doing what and it left a hazy feeling that I think shows how they, Willow especially, is feeling.

Willow is so close to saying 'I love you' without really even knowing if they are girlfriends- it makes sense for her- her emotions are singing and giving her lyrics and her mind is trying to make to make sense of the situation. Can't wait for more!

[CopperAndGold]

Great update, I love the way that Tara teases Willow with needing to study and poor Willow has to wait to be with her, and that they can’t keep their hands off each other and the way the love to explore each other is really hot. Can’t wait for the next update.

Thanks for reading! Yes, there is a teasing side to Tara that not many get to see yet - Willow gets it out of her, she's so comfy with her.

Oh I am so glad this story is back! I love how you are taking us through the beginnings of the girls' relationship.

This update was sweat and steamy- there were times reading about them being together when I couldn't quite tell who was doing what and it left a hazy feeling that I think shows how they, Willow especially, is feeling.

Oh, I'm so glad that came through. I was worried.

Willow is so close to saying 'I love you' without really even knowing if they are girlfriends- it makes sense for her- her emotions are singing and giving her lyrics and her mind is trying to make to make sense of the situation. Can't wait for more!

Yes! She has so many questions, but they fall away in the moment. Then the moment is gone and she's back in question-city.

I should have an update for you by end of day! Hope you'll like it

[CopperAndGold]

Today's girls (Part 2 of ?)

Author name -– CopperAndGold
Rating -- PG

Summary -- Set during the episodes 'This Years Girl' and 'Who Are You'
Notes -- This fic is set in the same world, with the same character development in both Willow and Tara from my main fic "When Erryn found herself". These chronicles will attempt to cover the development of their relationship throughout season 4, up until the beginning of 'When Erynn found herself' which is right after the episode Family. Hope you enjoy! More to come soon.

---

Tara was sitting up in bed, she'd put her book aside feeling slightly troubled. She was speaking with Willow, "Yes, of course," The girl's voice was small and thin, tired and so full of things Tara just didn't know. All she knew was that Willow was distraught, "Willow? Are you- do you want me to come over?" The sheets had been flung over mid-sentence. Hearing Willow sound like that made Tara's heart hurt, she made the offer without a second thought.

The pause was brief, but the answer came soon enough and Tara froze at the pet-name. Willow's sweet placating voice quickly replaced with a tone in her ears -- high pitched and discordant. Her heart started back up at double-time; hands immediately slick with sweat. Color drained from her face but the redhead was still talking so she tried to concentrate on the moment to recover enough to hear, "...I'll just go to sleep anyway."

She had a mariachi band celebrating in her chest, She called me baby? "O-okay," Tara forced herself to respond, "If-if you're sure." She called me baby. Color did make it back to her face, a darkening at the top of her cheekbones at the sweetness of it.

Willow's voice seemed a bit surer of itself now, "Talking to you always makes things better." She said and Tara was torn between exhilaration and an odd feeling of dread. "Goodnight, looking forward to it." It was almost as if she'd said it to someone else, her mind whirling.

When the dial tone sounded, she hung up robotically. She called me baby. Try as she might, she couldn't think past those words. She was analyzing them, as if from all perspectives -- too many of them. The blonde was still worried, and the fact she'd been given the pet-name, said so sweetly set her heart alight in a way, but also in one that made her doubt how well Willow really was.

Tara felt as though she was missing something. All those things that might have happened, that caused her to worry: The unknowns. She called me baby.

Had Tara been too forward? Last they'd seen each other... it had gotten more intimate than ever before, and she'd been overjoyed for it - how comfortable she'd been with Willow. She called me baby.

The girl had sounded so appeasing, was she trying to not hurt the blonde? No, that's not it -- she called me to talk, not push me away...

In the difference of one letter, a disaster named Rachel made. Willow is not Rachel, Tara told herself, but it wasn't that easy to shortcut your reasoning around traumatic experiences.

She wouldn't do that. Another girl, in another life had given her a similar pet-name... things had gotten more intimate, and then she broke Tara's heart and spirit. The situation was similar seen from a distance, she thought -- but the details were surely important.

Rachel used to call her babe, for a short while. It had charmed Tara to no end, and she'd let herself fall that little bit more - as if glutting herself on the sweetness of the attention she craved. If she closed her eyes now, and thought of the word -- in her minds eye, the clear and sharp image of a fish hook appeared.

And, yeah -- it did feel like that to her. Like she'd been hooked like a fish, by charming words the other girl had never meant. 'You must judge a tree by its fruits, Tara.' Yes, sir.

With some time to calm herself and think about Willow's... fruits, Tara found her way back to reason. She called me baby. The smile couldn't have been helped, it might even stick around until she fell asleep.

Sometimes, when all is said and done - The bats? They turn out to really be butterflies.

***

Lying on her side with her stuffed dog firmly clasped under her arm, Willow was still awake; trying desperately to quiet her over active mind. The keyword being 'trying'.

She was going through different ways of broaching the whole evil Slayer subject with Tara. Faith was out there wanting payback, and they had no idea where she was hiding or what she was planning.

It was all making her feel sick to her stomach -- it was all acid-y. So much was going on and she just couldn't seem to concentrate on any of it for more than a few minutes at a time.

On anything, except of Tara.

They'd spent most of the day prior together and it had been wonderful, cozy and warm with intimacy. They'd shared about themselves more than ever. Even if there was partial nakedness; it had been restricted to the top of the body for both of them.

Something had taken over the beautiful blonde that day and, all Willow knew was she was transported along in complete trust and, not a little lust.

The redhead had felt emboldened by Tara's confidence and then an amazing- no, revolutionary moment for Willow...

So many times before, Willow had pulled back... had stopped when things got too close to... She couldn't say why, but it had felt like reaching that excruciatingly sweet climax would have somehow been too much, too fast.

Now, she couldn't figure out for the life of her why that had been. And, why it is that I like to wind down with a boob in my mouth. She grimaced.

To say the redhead wasn't conflicted about that particular, novel piece of information about herself would be a blatant lie. Can't be a Freudian thing. Willow denied it, her face screwed up in a small frown when remembering Freud's work.

She knew full well she hadn't -- in fact -- been breast fed as a baby, but books be damned if that meant a thing. Willow was looking for a second opinion. God, I can't believe what a pervert that Freud was... I bet he was into some gross stuff... not now, Rosenberg!

Her cheeks tinged, smirking to herself that she'd met: 'Take Charge Tara'.

Willow really liked 'Take-Charge-Tara'.

So far, there hadn't been one side of the soft witch Willow hadn't enjoyed knowing. She'd named each of them in her mind:

'Tender-Tara' - When she would look at her with that emotion laden, deep-azure gaze. Yeah, she'd looked it up, so what? It's an intricate blue, and it's important.

They're the windows to her soul, all with the clear blue sky and, and.. sunlight.

She was getting distracted again. Tender-Tara would run her hands along Willow's skin, calming the frenzy of her mind. Or even, the way the girl seemed to revere her body; Her lips and neck, her arms, her hands, her chest, her breasts, her stomach... all were feather-touched, baptized and mapped out. Sometimes, even kissed. She could fall for 'Tender-Tara' over, and over...

'Silly-Tara' and those adorable giggles, her witty teasing and a laughter that lifted Willow's own heart. The redhead knew her enough by now to know not that many people got to see this particular side of Tara. Willow felt honored to be trusted enough for her to 'let loose the goof' and be 'Silly Tara' with her.

'Sassy-Tara' - When her inhibitions somehow melted and she expressed herself fully -- sometimes, she even seemed to shock herself. Like, pulling the shirt right over her head. Or when she said things in a certain way, full of innuendo and naughtiness.

Take-Charge-Tara had confidence, and was sure of herself. Willow wondered if there was a Take-Charge-Willow in her, somewhere.

If she were being honest with herself - and this was really the crux of it... She had to consider her fear of disappointing Tara in bed. That, well that really did worry her.

It wasn't like she'd been a starfish in her physical relationship with Oz, but she'd certainly not been like she was with Tara. He never made me feel so... turned on. I never came from him touching me...

She was still very unsure of herself, and what she was able to find online had been-

Willow had found a book online about lesbian sexuality and love making. Yes indeed, all copied in document format with drawings scanned in and everything. And, she'd actually had the courage to peruse said book one day when Buffy wasn't around.

Well uh, it was weird how the things that stood out to her the most were those she absolutely did not see herself doing, or wanting to do. At all. No way. Ever.

All those other things, the ones she'd love to experience seemed to recede into the white background of the pages, and the scarier ones jumped at her and shocked her with their bold font and scary... sketched images, and words.

Of course she'd turned off her laptop, who wouldn't have?

She wasn't ready for anything like that any time soon, or even ever. But, she did find more... novice-level type stuff in that book, and on her second attempt -- being less freaked, she'd learned a few things.

None of which she'd put into practice so far, though.

Her thoughts turned then, to the day before again -- it had felt freeing, lazing topless together. They'd let their fingertips map out new landscapes and territories. Plains, dips and peaks...

Willow's thoughts turned naughty and her face flushed, caused both by embarrassment and a certain heat bellow her belly button. A thumping heat that she now knew - at a cellular level - could be stoked expertly, diligently, incessantly into an all consuming blaze at the deft hands and fingers of one Tara Maclay.

Up until then, the redhead had thought she'd be the only one capable of getting herself off. Why do they call it that anyway? Get off... that's like, 'get off me, you stupid guy.' Not 'Climax' or 'Orgasm.' The word made her think of Anya and she pulled a face. Get it together, you were thinking about Tara... and her... magic hand.

It had been, at least for a short time, a point of contention with Oz. He'd felt like he could learn her body, and she'd been too self-conscious to even try to guide him. In the back of her mind, she knew that if she could just... tell him -- he'd been an attentive boyfriend, maybe it would've worked?

She wasn't so sure... as it had been, she'd gotten pretty darn efficient at it - if she said so herself. Which she wouldn't. Willow figured that wasn't something to brag about, really -- but, Tara was better than herself. And, it was her own body! How's that even possible?

Her brain would just not shut up. I guess efficiency isn't that sexy...

It's just that, well she'd never felt that much from anything physical before and as exciting as it was -- she couldn't help but feel anxious.

There were so many things to freak about these days. Tara was not supposed to be one of those. No, she was apart from the freak-show -- she was special and, so what if Willow already felt so much?

It's never been like this before. The intensity of their relationship was scary but part of her wanted to dive in head-first. The other, not so much. She'd been broken hearted for so long before Tara grasped her hand...

For the first time since meeting the blonde, Willow wished she could talk with Buffy about it.

***

The next morning, she wore her cutest outfit The shirt had little people made of wool embroidered on its front, and it matched her skirt and boots perfectly. Willow was proud of this outfit. She'd caught the blonde looking, once or twice. The redhead called after Buffy and she had bumped into Faith on campus. There had been a fight, and the rogue Slayer escaped to fight another day.

This morning had started off well, she'd finally been able to fall asleep telling herself Faith wouldn't be dumb enough to stick around Buffy's turf. Surprise...surprise...

Willow's long, yellow patterned skirt swished at her booted feet. She spoke with Tara as they made their way down the stairs of the campus building. This hadn't been what the redhead had meant when she asked Tara to meet her in the morning. She was going to get the girl alone and talk about all the things that were troubling her.

Now that she'd seen what Tara was wearing, she couldn't help but wonder if talking would have happened, at all. Hubba Hubba... I love that shirt. Or blouse, definitely a blouse... so nice.

But, a life on the Hellmouth came will all kinds of lemons. So she chose to make lemonade and invite Tara along for her recon mission around campus and the blonde had readily accepted.

Tara had her hair up, wore minimum makeup and necklaces adorned the light skin of her neck. She'd bought this burgundy blouse thinking of Willow, noticing the collar stopped just high enough for her to be comfortable wearing it.

Also, for feeling that sweet warmth across her skin when the redhead's attention was on her. Tara wasn't clueless. The pants she chose were comfortable and fit the blouse beautifully, and of course -- her signature boots...

Willow was saying, "Don't worry, we're sure to spot Faith first." Pulling a face she continued derisively, hands flapping expressively, "She's this cleavage-y slut-bomb walking around going 'Oh, check me out. I'm wicked cool. I'm five by five.' Her voice dripped derision.

The saying definitely stumped the blonde, "Five by five? Five what by five what?" When she'd heard of the rogue Slayer, it freaked her out a bit. Tara could only imagine the carnage someone like a Slayer could do.

"See, that's the thing." Willow was saying, "No one knows." They rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs before she continued, "Buffy can handle Faith, and you're plenty safe with me." She gave a saucy grin. Safe from crazy Slayers, anyway.

Tara's blush made her want to hide her face but as she tried, she remembered her hair was up. Her returning cheeky grin was all too obvious to miss. Tara almost took the girl's hand right there, but caught herself. She quickly clasped them behind her back,"So we recon 'til nightfall?" The blonde asked sweetly, wanting to change the subject. Feeling this way in public was still a bit, weird.

Willow smacked her lips and nodded affirmatively, "Then the ritual hiding begins." She was slightly ahead of Tara so she didn't see her look worried. Faith must be pretty scary.

***

They'd walked the campus for the last couple of hours or more, not seeing anyone who looked remotely like Faith, anywhere. Willow had told her recon partner more about the rogue Slayer, and what happened senior year of high-school.

It'd made Tara wonder why a Slayer would chose to do evil. Didn't they exist to fight it? At that, Willow could only shrug -- either from not knowing, or not caring. Tara didn't push.

Both were hungry, so they stopped to get some snacks and a drink. "Sun's going down," Tara noticed, looking through the windows behind the redhead.

Their eyes met, gazes full of questions -- heavy with trepidation, "W-where are you going to hide out this time?" She really did try for nonchalance, there was a grin and everything. Whether or not Willow caught it, there was no telling.

The redhead let out a deep sigh, thinking about her night prior -- how she'd been alone in that dorm room. She'd missed the blonde, wanted to be with her. The more she thought about having to miss her again -- the less it felt acceptable. "Would it be okay, I mean... if-if it's not it's totally okay. It's just, there's just me in that room with Buffy at Riley's all the time and-and it's okay if not, you know -- I won't... I'm not-"

Her babble stopped at the feel of Tara's hand on hers, "Willow," She had that crooked smile that made the redhead blush, "Do you want to c-come hide out with me?" Wish I could kiss her right here, she's too cute.

When the redhead blushed, and her accompanying smile brightened her beautiful face -- Tara regretted putting her hair up. Why am I so transparent -- please come to my place, hide out, kiss and cuddle and be together... She was certain all her thoughts were written across her face, in thick, black marker.

They were both giving each other shy glances across the table, Tara still holding onto the redhead's hand. Their fingers subconsciously playing together. Willow spoke up finally, "Uh, I should get-get my stuff ready, maybe -- and I could meet you back at your place. In-in about an hour?"

Willow felt like her words were barely making sense, or that her brain wasn't fully engaged in the act of speaking. Thoughts of what 'hiding out at Tara's' might mean were swirling through her head. What it might bring... Did I shave my legs? Should I... like, tend the garden or-or...

Tara's voice cut through her inner monologue, "Okay," she said easily, "That's w-where I live so," She half-shrugged, her right shoulder lifted, "I should be there." The blonde smiled, giddy at the thought of having Willow to herself... overnight. Oh, overnight? Gulp... I need to be presentable. If I were to, um present myself... Oh, God...

A memory of a cold, fluorescent-lit bathroom stall flashed through her mind. Oh, Goddess help me.

***

The room was looking like a bomb went off. Willow's clothes were thrown haphazardly onto the bed, the desk -- There she stood, at her dresser wearing her bathrobe and her hair wet. "Why do none of my clothes seem right for Tara." She groused out loud, a pout forming on her impish face.

She'd shaved, trimmed and tended as much of the garden as she'd cared to. Resolved to be ready at least in this sense, if being ready-ready in another was touch-and-go. Touch and go, I like touch and stay... but, if I stay and-and... with the touching, and kissing. "Oh, God."

Willow stood, staring blankly at the door -- she pulled on the shirt she was holding, not paying much attention to which it was. After a minute of dazed wonder, she glanced at the clock and reeled at the shock, "I need to pack my bag!" The witch was about to go to the closet to retrieve her overnight bag, but stopped when she felt the cool air hit her legs with the swift movement.

I should really wear pants.

***

Thirty-five minutes into the hour, Tara was drying her hair. Long, languid strokes of her hairbrush and the warm air of the hairdryer were the only sounds audible in the room. There was music playing, but with the hairdryer blowing beside her head, and her thoughts being so loud, it was impossible to hear it.

Please, don't let me hurt her. She couldn't help it, Tara was worried. The last time she'd -- inadvertently - shared a bed with the redhead she'd been overcome, and overwhelmed with desire... She'd never felt that level of lust before, or ever had been compelled to act so...

The thoughts of the demon weren't so easy to shut out when it was Willow who was at risk. Let her be my guide, I shouldn't... I shouldn't act. I can't. Just react, and slowly, slow and thoughtful and patient... and just... Oh, hell!

She blew air out of her cheeks, exhausted by her own inner monologue.

Tara had chosen a more relaxed look and feel, letting her hair down both figuratively and literally. Only, she still decided to keep an open face. Wanting to be able to conquer this idea of hiding from Willow; she was quickly coming to the realization that there was nothing she wanted to hide from her... Are we girlfriends? What is it, that we have?

The only thing she kept close to her chest, was that one subject she would be honest about if asked, but would never broach herself.

Her clothes were comfortable, having chosen a softer top which was laced at the collar. Loose denim Capris were adorned with white, floral lace at the cuffs. The light in the room had been dimmed. The ambiance was peaceful and comfortable.

The noise of the hairdryer stopped. Her hair now being dry she reached for hair clips. Choosing a pair, Tara carefully pulled the hair from her eyes and pinned it back. Looking at herself in the mirror, she smiled. Yeah, okay. Not bad.

She still had some time so she decided to take the Tarot deck she'd been given and settle on the bed with it. Tara tried to calm her nerves by drawing up and down the cards, not really paying much attention to what they were saying. Listening to the light melody of the music coming from the stereo.

***

What are the odds this is the shirt I ended up wearing, Willow thought to herself ruefully while she quickly walked the path. She was almost to Tara's dorm, but it was starting to get much darker now.

As she made it to the entrance door, her inner dialogue resumed, Had to be holding my supposedly-sexy purple top. What the hell is that all about? She asked the ceiling of the building's stairs. One level to go and she'd be that much closer to the blonde.

At first, Willow had thought of changing shirts again, but there had been so much to do and so little time left...

Besides, she really did like this top.

Okay, there's her door. It's a door, all woods-y and... I should knock. Before she could freak out, she knocked twice softly.

When it opened, she was hit with the scent of Tara, and the lighting behind the girl, in the doorway, a dull yellow light illuminated her. Framed, a picture of innocence and beauty. Willow's breath hitched, her heart having started back up, "Hi," She pulled the bag from her shoulder, and smiled "Got my stuff."

Tara smiled back and opened the door fully, "Hey," Once the redhead was inside, she turned and closed it. "I was j-just playing with my cards, listening to music." She looks nice, I like that top. I should tell her.

The blonde was beaten to it though, "You look really nice," The redhead said, pointing out Tara's shirt with the laced collar, "That looks really cozy." She looked around herself, not sure what to do with her bag, "Where should I put this?"

Tara sat back down on the bed, shaking her head with amusement. Willow was always such a burst of energy in her little bubble of calm. It always served to excite the blonde witch, it was contagious. "It doesn't matter," Crossing her legs, she picked the Tarot cards back up.

"You l-look beautiful, Willow." She said genuinely, her cheeks reddened by a sudden rush of blood flow, "As always."

Willow dropped her bag next to the desk and went toward the bed, "Heh, thanks." She said shyly, before sitting on its edge, "I was running all over the place, rushing. I'm glad you think so."

They looked at each other, the music in the air was only a frequency to them. It was as if the space between them grew heavier. This pull...

Tara nodded and looked down at her cards, and started setting them up again. "Have you heard from B-Buffy?" She asked, wondering how worried the redhead was. The rogue Slayer was still out there which was, after all, the reason Willow was hiding. Here, with her.

"No," The redhead's brow crinkled, worry evident in her soft features, "I'm sure she's fine, though." It was more to herself than for Tara's sake. She crawled onto the bed, making sure not to displace the blondes cards. "You do Tarot readings?" Willow asked excitedly before flopping backward onto the bed, head on a pillow.

The move made the blonde laugh, "No, not really." Was all she said in return smiling down at Willow. "I'm reading up on it, though." Tara said returning to her cards. So far so good, I wish she'd kiss me... Don't torture yourself, Maclay. Don't act, don't do anything just let her lead. Her thoughts, like a mantra, circled her head.

Both were silent for a while before Willow spoke up, "I wonder where she is." Tara could hear in her soft, pensive voice that Willow was worried but she was happy that the redhead was talking about it.

She kept working with the cards and asked for clarification, "Who, Faith?" Willow, still small and vulnerable sounding answered, "Yeah. I wish she would make a move. She's making my stomach all acid-y."

That made Tara look up, "But you think Buffy can handle her?" She pointed at the redhead, holding the cards. "I think so." Willow started saying as she sat up to talk face to face, "But that doesn't mean Faith won't hurt someone else." Looking down then, she tried not to think too hard on that particular fact.

"Well, you should be safe. Nobody knows you're here." Tara had meant it, she should be safe. It'd been to reassure, "I mean, they don't even know I exist, right?" But, these earlier feelings of being the secret someone hides away, those shortcuts... "I know all about them, but I mean, that's totally cool." She'd seen Willow's reaction, she'd brought attention to her stupid thoughts, now the redhead would feel bad, "I mean, it's good. It's better." Surely, that had been convincing. Surely, right?

"Hey," Willow said sweetly, reaching out to touch Tara's knee reassuringly, "Tara, it's not like I don't want my friends to know you." Her eyes clear and genuine, she needed the blonde to believe her. To know she was being honest, "It's just- Well, Buffy's, like, my best friend and she's really special." Starting from the top, she thought -- might make things easier, "And there's this whole bunch of us and we sort of have this group thing that revolves around the slaying." Okay, wrap it up Rosenberg. "And, I really want you to meet them." She smiled then, returning Tara's grin that had developed during her babble.

That grin relaxed and Tara's eyes, the weight of her gaze seemed to soften. Willow felt butterflies in her tummy, "But I just kinda like having something that's just, you know, mine."

She wasn't sure of anything, anything at all -- but one thing. Tara would be in her life no matter what. Even though this feeling Willow was feeling felt an awful lot like feeling... feelings. But what feeling was it? You know what it is, you're just a big chicken.

Shaking out of her thoughts, she quickly added, "And I usually don't use so many words to say stuff that little, but do you get it at all?" Could have been so much more succinct, couldn't it? I. Love. You. Simple, but no... Not simple at all!

Willow almost didn't hear Tara's response,"I do." Those blue eyes, azure... deep, and laden with meaning. The redhead could look into those eyes for hours and get lost in them. The warmth in those eyes, for her.

After a pregnant pause, she realized she'd been staring, "I should check in with Giles, get a situation update." Willow decided getting information would be wise, seeing as she was so worried. And, once that was done they could finally talk about stuff.

The redhead got off of the bed and made her way toward the phone, but she stopped in her tracks when she heard Tara's soft voice say, with as much volume as she could muster, "I am, you know."

You are... "What?" Willow was wondering, trying to remember what Tara might be referring to.

Am I really going to do this? Tara turned her head, wanting to look into those caring eyes of the redhead's. Yeah, I am doing this. Her heart rolled out, onto her sleave without her even noticing it.

"Yours."

The wash of warmth and tenderness Willow felt in that moment, was unprecedented. Mine. Mine? "You are?" She asked, feeling vulnerable again but making her way back to Tara nonetheless, "I mean, like, you are?"

Tara smiled a crooked smile, the exuberance the redhead was showing only made her heart swell all that much more. She could only nod her answer, and look down at her Tarot cards. A bit embarrassed at her confession but, the blonde witch was relieved in a way -- that it was out in the open now. If she'll have me.

Willow was shaking her head, How did I get this lucky? She couldn't believe it, "Tara, we-I need for us to talk. I feel the same way, I do." She cringed a bit, "But I really do need to call Giles."

The blonde's smile was all Willow needed to know things would be okay. She leaned in and kissed the girl she was falling for so fast. Making sure not to make it too much of a steamy one, she pulled back sooner than she'd have liked.

Tara had a dazed and goofy look on her face that made Willow giggle, "I'll be right back."

She feels the same way. She called me baby, and now she feels the same way. Goofy wasn't really what that look was. Willow had never seen it before, but that had been: Gulp.

"Really!?" Willow's happy outburst took Tara by surprise, she jumped in her seat on the bed, "Oh, right. Okay..." The girl's mood suddenly shifted, "No, it's okay -- I shouldn't be long." Tara decided to wait for Willow to fill her in.

The redhead sighed, walked around the bed again and sat back down with a pout, "Police caught Faith." The information seemed completely incongruous with her mood.

"Isn't," Tara looked at her sideways, "Isn't that, I mean... good?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well," Willow started, playing with the bedspread, "See, now I have to go to a Scooby meeting." She continued in a softer tone, "A-and, I have no excuse to stay here tonight." The pout just got more... pouty.

"I-I don't," Tara swallowed, took a deep breath and looked up from beneath her lashes, "You don't need excuses, Willow." A smile then, "You can stay w-whenever you like."

The redhead stood from the bed, happy and very relieved for the open invitation, "Can I come back tonight?" She asked excitedly before catching herself, "I mean, if-if it isn't too late?"

She smiled, enamored and enraptured -- Tara could only nod to show her agreement.

***