The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:31 pm 
Title: White Flag
Author: Sher
Distribution: Ummm yeah get a hold of me we'll talk.
Summary: Shortly after 'The Gift' what happened with Willow and Tara in taking care of Dawn... sort of an angst deal.
Rating: oh like PG... nothing much happening


(Opening in Joyce’s Bedroom… which is W/T now)
Exhaustion is such a funny thing it creates a calmness, a peculiar familiarity to the whole situation. Willow thought while lying in bed waiting for Tara to join her. ‘I know I did everything needed for today… I just feel I didn’t finish anything.’

“Willow, honey?” Tara said a bit confused as she entered the room.
That is when Willow realized her thoughts were actually being said aloud.

“Oh it’s nothing Tara, I’m just tired and everything is just noisy up there.” Willow said giving her classic smile with her rolling eyes.

Tara walked over to the bed with a faint smile and ran her fingers though willow’s hair as she sat on the bed. Tara’s eyes just kept staring at the highlights that became apparent each time her fingers moved a strain. Willow leaned into Tara and began to softly nibble at Tara’s neck with each kiss. As Willow’s kisses became more deep and urgent Tara pulled away.

“Will, I can’t right now I still have things to do.” Tara said with a little smile and stood up moving away from the bed. Willow grabbed her hand and gave her one of her mischievous smiles. Tara fell back to the bed unable to put up a fight. Giving willow a deep kiss while layer her hand in the valley between willow’s breasts. Tara again began to let down her lover.
“Honey I really need to write my paper.”
“Well how about I just get your creative juices flowing?” Willow said while lifting her lover’s hand and taking one of her fingers into her mouth.
“Willow” Tara said as Willow’s hand began to travel up underneath her shirt to her full breasts. Willow could hear that she was winning because Tara had her playfully annoyed voice saying her name.

At that moment Tara was about to give in when a scream rose from Dawn’s room.
‘Dawn’ Tara said with a frightened look on her face.


Willow and Tara bolted from the room into Dawn’s and flipped on the light. Dawn was sitting in a crouched fetal position on her bed crying. Willow stood in the doorway when what happened sunk in. Tara approached the bed and sat on the edge taking the fragile girl in her arms.

‘Sweetie, it was just a dream.’ She said as she ran her fingers through her hair and down her back. Dawn just held on to Tara tightly, somewhat hurting the exhausted wiccan’s ribs.

Willow stood in the doorway unable to comfort the girl. Willow had nothing to give to her best friend’s little sister. Everything right now was involved in keeping them safe, keeping the Buffybot in working condition, and dealing with Buffy’s death. What little time she had left was for school, sleep and a few moments before sleep when she could touch Tara’s cheek or snuggle against her tired body. Willow looked down at the floor in ashamed of herself. Tara had done so much so far, Willow didn’t know what she has done but she was aware that Tara was keeping the family from drowning.

“Dawn, you doing ok?” Willow asked from the door.
Dawn looked up frightened to remove her face from the familiar hiding place of Tara’s chest and nodded yes.
“Dawn, do you want to sleep in our room tonight?” Tara asked.
It was becoming the norm for Dawn to sleep in their bed a couple nights a week now.

Tara led both of the girls into the room and played ‘mom’ when she tucked them into bed giving them a kiss.

“Tara, come lie down, you can wake up tomorrow morning early and do your paper.” Willow said, needing Tara’s body against hers. Willow grabbed for Tara’s hand.

“Baby you know I can’t” Tara said leaning down kissing willow one last time. Tara turned off the lights as she saw Willow put an arm around a drowsy Dawn.

Tara walked down the stairs to the basement gathering another load of laundry and folding one of Dawn’s shirts that said “I am a Q.T.” placing it in the laundry basket. Tara was so use to the routine that it seemed so repetitive and taxing to her. As she carried the heavy basket up into the kitchen she left it on the counter and grabbed a Coke. “Another late night” Tara said to no one but herself. She plopped down at the dinning room table with Willows computer sitting at the other end. She picked up the various envelopes of bills looking at the due date on each of them.

“OK electric and phone can be paid. Oh man the second notice on the gas bill. Shit!” Tara was now slumped over the table. “maybe just electric and gas. I’ll make a withdrawal from my account tomorrow and put it in the house one and then pay the phone.” She had already done this twice this month without Willow noticing… without Willow noticing much of anything. She was going to have to talk with Giles about a job at the Magic Box… or perhaps something on campus. It would have to be a night job so I can deal with Dawn. Did I just think that? ‘Deal?’ I can’t think about that now.

Tara finished paying the electric and gas bill and also finished off her soda. She went back into the kitchen when she heard a soft meow.
Tara broke down crying hysterically landing hard on the floor in a sitting position.
“I’m sorry Miss Kitting, I completely forgot to feed you” She said through her sobs.

Tara climbed tiredly to her feet and grabbed Miss Kitty’s food and out of guilt poured her a saucer of milk as she sat down on the floor again and placed the saucer next to her. As she watched Miss Kitty eat and gently stroked her back and she faded into sleep.

Willow woke up early that morning, 4:45 to be precise. Having a tossing Dawn in bed with you is no way to sleep. As Willow turned over expecting to put her arm around Tara, she felt emptiness. Willow sat up and looked around the room. She became concerned, it was almost 5 in the morning and Tara hasn’t slept yet. When she headed downstairs she noticed small signs Tara had started to clean up the house. She saw her laptop on and she walked over to look to see how much Tara got done. Only 5 pages!!!! Oh god, Willow thought. She walked into the kitchen to see Tara asleep on the hard floor with a kitten laying near by.

“Tara” Willow said slowly stroking her face.
“Tara honey….” Willow said as Tara shifted into consciousness.
“What?” Tara said in confusion and bit of pain since her hip had been resting on a hard surface for two hours.
“Sweetie, What’s going on? You haven’t finished your paper!” Willow said.

Tara immediately got up as dizziness claimed her head she rested her hand on the counter for balance.
“Tarbear?” Willow said with concern.
“I’m fine. Go back to bed. I have to finish my paper.” Tara said with determination as she approached the computer. Willow followed and sat behind her not wanting to leave her side.
“Can I help?” Willow asked.
“No Sweetie, I’m fine.” Tara said with a thank you smile, as she began to collect her thoughts and continue on her paper. Willow leaned into the back of the chair and let sleep claim her. It wasn’t until 7am that she woke up to her Tara raising her voice at the staircase.

“Dawn, come on, ten minutes and I want to see you down here.” Tara said as she headed back into the kitchen.

Dawn came bouncing down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Funny or regulars?” Tara said with no energy left in her voice.
“Whatever” Dawn said as she grabbed some juice.

Willow walked in and gave a hug to Dawn as she walked over to Tara and draped her arms around her waist while giving the back of her neck a light kiss.

“Funny or regulars?” Tara asked with no emotion in her voice.
“I want Tara shaped!” Willow said teasingly.
Tara gave Willow a quick kiss as she returned her attention back to the pancakes appreciating the little smile Willow caused across her lips.

“Did you finish your paper?” Willow asked backing away and getting some juice.
“Yeah…. About an hour ago.” Tara said, “all 10 pages.”
“Good,” willow said “I got worried when I only saw 5 pages… and hey! What’s with the kitchen floor slumber party???” Willow said out of concern disguising it with playful words.

Tara looked up with blush creeping across her face. ‘I guess I was playing with Miss Kitty and fell asleep.” Tara said giving Dawn a plate of pancakes. Tara checked the clock to see it was 7:20.
“Dawn after you eat those get yourself together. I have to leave early for lecture.” Tara said starting to make Willow’s pancakes.

Tara then turned to Willow, focused. “So you class begins at 12 today right?” Tara said without even checking if Willow confirmed. “I’ll drop by at 11:15 ok? That should leave us with enough time for the post office and bank.” Tara said almost trying to convince herself. Tara then put a plate of ‘regular’ pancakes in front of Willow.

“Oh but they’re not Tara shaped.” Willow said smiling.
“Huh?” Tara said, then once she remembered she gave Willow a smile and a small kiss on her nose.

Tara then grabbed a coke from the fridge and started to gather her books and her paper as she yelled for Dawn. As Dawn made her way out the door to the car and Tara followed she turned and said “11:15 Willow!” and shut the door leaving Willow alone without even an “I love you” or a “goodbye.”


Tara rushed across campus angry with herself. She had yelled at Dawn in the car over something as trivial as the volume of the radio. Tara wasn’t feeling like herself anymore. She felt more lost in the things that she was doing, than able to bring herself into her life. Part of Tara knew she didn’t want to feel herself anymore. Feel the sadness of loosing a friend, feeling the sadness of her lover loosing interest in her, and feeling the emptiness that was forming inside her. Tara began to loose herself in her thoughts when she heard her name.

“Tara, Tara come on wait up.”

Tara turned around and saw Nicole from the Wicca group doing a little trot towards her.

“Hey girl, not enough sleep last night for your ears to work??” Nicole said jokingly, “You should tell Willow that you need a little sleep.” Nicole was proud of herself for her little sexual joke.
Tara just looked down at the ground not even blushing.

“Tara you doing ok?” Nicole asked, expecting her previous comment to get more of a reaction, a blush… something!

“Oh I’m fine just tired. So did you finish the paper?” Tara asked just to engage in polite conversation.

“Well yeah, it is due today. I have to say there is only so much that I can take on the Inca culture” Nicole said, causing for her to go off into a ten minute rant on how the religious ceremonies were far from advanced, which many researchers believed.

Tara smiled at her obviously uneducated broad observation about a complex culture. Honestly, she was just happy that she didn’t have to talk anymore as she sat down in the lecture hall with Nicole going on about her opinions.

“Oh Tara can I ask you a favor?” Nicole began.

“ummm…. Yeah.” Almost dreading that added task that she was soon to receive from Nicole.

“If you go to the Magic Box can I come along… I need to get more elements for a spell I’m doing.” Nicole said.

“Oh yeah” Tara said relieved it wasn’t like a previous favor she asked for. Last time Nicole ask for a favor she ended up having to take Nicole’s cousin around the school and to her classes. Tara still remembered how the girl never shut up throughout the day. It was exhausting for Tara. Then Tara started to get a small smile. Elements for her spell… Nicole never was able to cast… a want-to-be wicca , she thought with almost a laugh. Oh God…. What am I thinking Tara thought ashamed of her thoughts. She never acted this way.

The professor then entered the lecture hall. Ok Tara, she thought, time to focus!


Tara went thought her three lectures with no problems, though in one class a boy had to lean over and wake her up. He seemed more embarrassed about it then she was.

‘Ok the day is finished finally’, Tara thought as she saw it was 11am. Tara had rearranged her classes so she took morning with an hour to go home and to drive Willow to classes. The arrangement began because then Willow would have time to sleep after patrol and Tara could always be there for Dawn. Now Tara was seeing it as essential, because she was going to have to find a job. She began to think… maybe Giles will let me work from 12-3 in the afternoon and I could pick up Dawn. Then I could come back after that and work for a while with Dawn doing her homework at the Magic Box. Tara started the car as she began to pull out of the parking place, nearly missing a car that went flying by. “Tara pay attention” She said harshly to herself.
By the time Tara made it to the Summer’s house she was besides her self in frustration. Tara walked into the house calling for Willow.

“Tara just one second.” Willow said as she messed with her hair, finally giving up on it.
“Hey honey….” Willow came down the stairs with a smile. “What’s wrong?” Willow said as her smile dissipated.
“ Oh nothing,” Said Tara as she released a sigh, “You’re just going to have to drive for awhile. We have to go the post office and bank on our way to campus.” Tara said handing over the keys and rubbing the back of her neck feeling the tension building up.
“Ok” Willow said rubbing her hand on Tara’s lower back. “No need to let road rage rage you” Willow said with a little smile.
“I’m not going to tell you how wrong that sentence is.” Tara said with a smile and a light kiss on willow’s lips as her mind became quiet just experiencing the moment in front of her.

Willow couldn’t help but smile, happy she was able to make Tara feel better. It had been a long time since she had been able to find Tara without thinking a mile a minute. Tara reached over to the table and grabbed the bills she wrote up last night.

“So which first?” Willow asked.
“Ummm… the bank.” Tara said hoping she would be able to convince Willow to stay in the car while she did the transfer.

The drive to the bank had been a quiet one. Willow didn’t turn on the radio because she could see that Tara was pretty close to headache by the strain underneath her eyes. As they pulled in front of the bank, Tara jumped out of the car. Willow got out to follow.

“oh honey.. you can stay in the car it’s fine.” Tara said hoping that little line could give her time to do her business.
“Whatever,” Willow said shaking her head and following.

Willow walked in looking around as she was Tara filling out one of her own checks. Willow figured she was just writing a check to get cash, but as she walked over she saw her writing Buffy Summers on it.
“Tara… what?” Willow said grabbing the check from her, “What’s going on?”
Tara’s eyes fell to the ground and almost looked frightened.
“Willow it’s ok, it’s just for the phone bill.” Tara said grabbing the check and walking to the tellers window.

Willow began to wonder how out of it she was. How long has Tara been using her own money to pay off the bills? The money that is in Tara’s account is suppose to go to her books and school. What is she doing? Willow began to feel scared. I need to start becoming more involved, Willow thought giving herself her resolved face. Tara walked back over almost scared to touch Willow. She knew she was in trouble.

Willow turned to Tara, “I’m sorry.” Willow said almost bring tears to her eyes. Tara just nodded thinking she was apologizing for scaring her. Tara then took the keys from Willow and walked to the car. Willow was walking behind herself unable to understand how she ever could be so out of it not to see what is going on. She looked up at Tara to see that her eyes had what looked like almost bruises around them from lack of sleep. How many days has she gone with only a couple hours of sleep? Willow felt like she was just coming out from a dark room with her eyes adjusting to the light, finally being able to see clearly.

“Tara… how many times have you done this?” Willow began. “Your money is suppose to be going towards school.” Willow said angry that she wasn’t aware of all of this.
“Oh just this once.” Tara spouted the lie to Willow. “it’s ok” Tara said as she pulled out the Buffy Summer’s check book and forging her name on the check and writing the bill.
“Tara what are you doing!!!!!” Willow looked in shock as she saw Tara forge her best friends name.
“Willow, if I don’t use her checks they will know something is wrong. We could risk loosing Dawn.” Tara said with sad eyes. “We can’t loose Dawn.” Willow gave Tara a hug. She could feel Tara’s body just slump into hers. I can’t loose Dawn, Tara thought. I might as well just give up on finding myself if I loose Dawn. Tara laid her head on Willow’s shoulder, not remembering the last time that Willow held her so protectively in her arms. It seemed like Tara was more of the protector lately.

Willow decided that she needed to take some of the pressure off Tara. Willow grabbed for the keys in Tara’s hand and opened the door for Tara. Tara continued to write out the phone bill check as she sealed the envelope she looked over at Willow who had tears in her eyes.

Tara began to try to explain: “I’m sorry Will… I just…”
“No Tara, I just… I’m worried… You shouldn’t be using your scholarship money on the family you need to be spending it on school… you are a full time student right?” Willow asked the question realizing that she became so oblivious to Tara’s life lately.
“Yes.. yes willow” Tara said leaning her hand on her forehead as he arm rested on the door. “I just am taking 12 hours of classes instead of 18. I couldn’t take 18 again with taking care of Dawn.”

Willow looked over at Tara. “Tara?”
“yeah?” Tara said closing her eyes feeling her head pound.
“How bad are we? I can get a job!” Willow said not even thinking about it. Just blurting it out.
“Not that bad Willow.” Tara said knowingly. Tara didn’t want Willow to get all stressed out, and she was already planning the money deal out, so no point drawing her into it all. “Honey it’s alright, I’m use to budgeting… I’ve been doing it for over 4 years now. I got it under control.”

Willow smiled. The money issue was something she never had to deal with. She has never had to pay her own bills. Her parents paid for her school along with her scholarship and she lived at home and the dorm so there was no concern about utilities and such when ‘that time of the month’ came around. Willow pulled up to the post office and reached out and dropped the envelopes in the mailbox and continuing to school. As she pulled up to the university she saw Nicole sitting on the steps of Jackson Hall waving to the girls. Willow stepped out of the car and took the keys out of the ignition handing them to Tara as she walked around the front of the car.

“I love you, Tara.” Willow said. Tara leaned into Willow and gave her a deep kiss along with a tired hug. “Love you too willow.” Tara said as she pulled apart to hear Nicole giggling.

“Come on Willow, Give the girl a break… She is starting to look like shit with how late you’ve been keeping her up.” Nicole said. That comment upset Willow as she watched Tara walked around to the drivers seat. Willow began to notice how she was slumped over as she sat and started the car.

Willow ran over to the driver’s window and as Tara rolled down the window Willow leaned in to kiss her again.

“I’ll call Xander to get home.” Willow began to say. “You take a nap after you pick up Dawn.” Willow looked upset to Tara. “I’m fine stop worrying. We’re just going to go to the Magic Shop and then I’m picking up Dawn. I am ok… I’ll pick you up at 4.” Tara said giving willow a quick kiss and Willow backed away and watched the car drive off.


Anya looked up from the cash register with a huge smile. Tara and Nicole entered the store.

“Awww Damn it…” Anya said because of the interruption of her hourly ‘praise of the all mighty dollar’.

“Hi” said Tara. Not aware of what was going on. “Is Mr. Giles here?”

“Yeah… he is in the back acting like he is doing something.” Anya said annoyed. “Who is the wicca-wanna-be your brought?” Tara turned around reminded of her thoughts that were similar to that and began to get mad at Anya.

“Anya- Shut up!’ Anya put up her hands and backed away. She didn’t say anything else… she didn’t want to piss off usually calm witch again.

Tara left the front of the store heading in the back. “Mr. Giles?”

“Oh hello there Tara.” Giles said while putting his glasses back on. “What brings you around? Something wrong?” Giles hadn’t seen the quiet girl for weeks. It was Willow who would come in gathering different things with Dawn near by.

“Oh nothing. I just found that I have been having more time lately… and well I haven’t been feeling very productive lately…” -All a lie- Tara was thinking. “ And was wondering if you perhaps could use some extra help here at the Magic Box? Like pay by the hours witchy-help.”

Giles was only listening a little bit as his eyes scanned over an obviously over worked Tara. She looked drained was all that he could think. “Have you been doing a lot of spells lately?” Giles began to ask… trying to understand why she was so tired looking. “Oh yes Tara if you want to yes… I mean I have been kind of busy lately…” Giles was wondering if she could tell he was lying, “Yes, we can talk this weekend about scheduling and everything.” Giles began to say. He had an ulterior motive. If Tara was around more than I could figure out what is going on with her, he thought.

“ OH thank you Giles!” Tara said hugging him. She was so happy that she could solve the money ordeal without having to involve Willow.
“Oh yes” Giles said feeling a bit uncomfortable and stiffening up.

Tara back off and smiled… “Sorry. Well I have to go I brought a friend with me and I have to pick up Dawn and Willow.” Tara said leaving in a quick movement.
“Goodbye then.” Giles said with the blonde hair the last thing he saw.

“You good to go?” Tara asked Nicole… looking impatient.
“Yeah I got everything. Thanks Anya.” Nicole said.
Anya didn’t say anything worried she would be chastised by Tara again.

Tara and Nicole left. Giles came out of the back room watching the two girls leave.


Tara dropped Nicole off at the university and headed to the grocery store, then back home. Tara began to put items away when the unliving dead entered the house with a blanket covering him.

“Spike, just go!” Tara said not wanting another thing to complicated everything.

“Hey, Bird, who pissed in your cup a tea? Just dropping in to talk to Red.” Spike said in a defensive but mean manner.

“She’s not here, Spike.” Tara said as she diverted her attention back to unpacking the groceries.

“Well then the big bad Bird, I’m just going to go and watch some tellie for a while someone should tell her that her Bird is broken.” Spike went to the fridge grabbed his blood and went into the family room.

“What the hell Spike…. LEAVE!” Tara couldn’t take anymore of it! Spike just got up confused looking at Tara the whole time he was leaving and left in silence not wanting to cross her path for a while.

Tara just sat down in the kitchen on the floor. ‘I give up… I give up’ is all she could think. In the middle ‘waving the white flag in defeat’ episode, she looked up at the clock to see it was 2:15. I don’t have time to even give up. Tara got up finished unpacking the bags and feeding Miss Kitty.
Tara grabbed the keys again and started the car heading off to Dawn’s school.


“Hey Tara” Dawn said as she climbed in the car. “Can we give Jesse a ride home?”

Tara looked up towards Dawn and nodded. “Tara are you ok?” Dawn became a bit nervous Tara was usually quiet but her eyes were blood shot and she looked angry.

“Jesse hold on one sec,” Dawn said, “Tara are you still mad at me about this morning, it was stupid the fight I should have turned down the radio. I….”

“No. It’s fine.” Tara interrupted. “I’m just really tired. Go get Jesse and we’ll take her home and then we’ll pick up Willow. She wants to go to the Magic Box. Then we’ll go home and I’ll make dinner.” Tara said finding that the planning was helping her be in more control.

“Ok” Dawn said looking at Tara funny. “Come on Jesse!”

The car ride was a noisy one with Dawn laughing and carrying on with Jesse. Tara was happy once Jesse left, her head was about to explode. Dawn turned on the radio and began to sing along to Alicia Keys. Oh god Tara thought. It was five more minutes until campus… I can make it.

As Tara pulled up in from of Jackson Hall Willow could see the Dawnsternator was driving Tara nuts. Willow couldn’t help but smile. This is where I’ll take over for today. I’ll take care of Dawn and give Tara a break from it all.

“Hey Tara” Tara got out of the car and handed the keys to Willow without speaking a word and climbed in the backseat because Dawn never moved from the front.

Willow got in the front seat and started the car, looking at Tara in the back through the rearview mirror… “Hey Dawnie, how about we turn off the music for a while.” Willow reached over and shut if off before waiting for Dawn to say anything. Willow started to drive in the direction towards the house.

“Willow I thought you had to go to the Magic Box.” Tara said angrily. Willow was quit confused by Tara lately.

“No, I don’t I’m good Sweetie.” Willow tried to say happily hiding her confusion and worry about Tara. Apparently that answer was good enough for Tara as Willow pulled into the driveway.

Tara was the first to leave the car heading into the house in what almost seemed like a run.

Willow turned to Dawn before she was able to get out of the car. “Dawn, I’ll help you with your homework tonight.”

“But Tara said she would. I want…” Dawn began to say when she was interrupted. “Dawn I really think it’s better if we leave her alone. She didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Fine” said Dawn after she got out and slammed the car door shut. “Why the sudden interest in anything that isn’t you lately.” Dawn said as she entered the house.

Willow was suddenly thrown back by that last comment. She locked the car and enter the kitchen to find Dawn sitting at the counter already asking Tara to help her with her homework to get even with Willow.

“Yeah Dawnie, just give me a couple minutes.” Tara said. She was staring the in the fridge looking for something for dinner that night. Spaghetti. That’s good enough.

“Tara how about I make dinner tonight” Willow suggested as she started to rub Tara’s back. Tara immediately stepped away from her touch. Tara just left the kitchen allowing Willow to do the dinner.

“Dawn I thought we talked about this.” Willow said angrily.

The phone began to ring, Willow walked over an answered it. “Hello?”

“Hello there Willow, This is Giles”

“Oh hi Giles” Willow said as she walked into the family room leaving Dawn in the kitchen. “What’s Up?”

“Oh nothing much I was just calling to see how you were doing. Oh bloody, that’s a fib. I ran across Tara today and I was a bit disconcerted. Have you and Tara been performing spells because I believe whatever spell your doing has placed Tara under a taxing situation. Anya was saying that she was acting fairly unusual compared to her normal self….” Giles continued to go on about how being the anchor to the spell circle is a bit more complicated that Willow perceived it to be.

During the whole speech Willow could only allow her eyes follow Tara as she began to do her normal routine. Pick up the pillows that somehow got on the floor from the couch. Pick up Willows book bag and put it on the banister of the staircase. Pick up dishes that Willow and Dawn left around the house. Going upstairs to get laundry, grabbing the mail and sorting through the bills, picking out the bills with the due date of tomorrow, making a list of what needs to be done for tomorrow…. Going down in the basement get the laundry fold while trying to read some of the assigned reading that was due two weeks ago. Willow then stopped looking at what Tara was doing and looking at Tara. It was evident that Tara had lost a lot of weight recently. Her shirt hung on her shoulders instead of softly forming to her shoulder and her beautiful stomach. Her eyes were hallow with exhaustion showing no trace of emotion. Her hands were shaky as she folded the towels from the laundry basket.

“Willow? Willow?” Giles began to say wondering what happened to the girl.

“Uh… Giles I hear you. I have to go.” Willow said hanging up the phone.

As Willow began to walk over to Tara to hold her and let her give up, Dawn entered the room.

“Tara, I’m hungry.” Tara looked up from her almost trance in folding the towels to Dawn.

“Oh” Tara got up and went to the kitchen to start dinner, forgetting that Willow said she would take care of it. She walked over to the fridge to try to figure out something for dinner…. Humm… Spaghetti she thought.

Tara began to get out the pot and filled it with water. Willow just sat at the counter knowing she couldn’t interrupt now or else Tara would just shutter at her touch again. Tara continued with the dinner. Willow stayed in the kitchen with her to just watch over her. She watched Tara as she did both dinner and helped Dawn with her algebra homework. She watched Tara through dinner as Dawn talked a mile a minute to her and Tara stayed quiet only eating a little before she became full. She watched her as she told Dawn it was bedtime and headed back to the folding of the towels.

“Hey Tara?” Willow said in an almost fearful approach. “How about I run you some bath water, Sweetie.”

Tara looked up not believing it. “I have a lot of stuff to do still tonight before I can…” Willow interrupted just then. “Don’t worry I’m going to go run you some bath water.” And with that Willow went upstairs.

She ran some water adding jasmine in the water making it a touch too warm hoping that would relax Tara’s muscles once she got in. Then she went into check on Dawn, who was still awake in her room even though Tara told her it was bedtime.

“Dawn I need you to leave Tara alone now. She needs a break.” Willow said while starting to close the door.

Dawn sat up and turned on her bed to face Willow. “Why the sudden Tara need a break bit?” Dawn asked angry.

“Dawn, it’s just we… I …I didn’t realize… Dawn” Willow began to enter the room and sat on the bed. “I’m sorry. I know when you were having nightmares and needed someone to help you with your homework, you needed me, not just Tara.” Willow began to get frustrated with her self not being able to say the right thing. “I’m just sorry, I am just trying to be here now.”

Dawn looked at Willow and jumped at her in a hug. “It’s ok. Tara has been taking care of me. I just… I just missed Buffy so much and then you almost seemed gone too.” Dawn said beginning to cry. Willow comforted her for a while, stroking her hair like she saw Tara do the night before.

“You should go tell Tara the same thing” said Dawn as she pulled away with a smile. Willow gave Dawn a kiss on her forehead as she stood up from the bed and smiled as she shut the door.

Willow headed downstairs as she saw Tara finished the last towel she said. “Tara come on babe. I have the hot paradise ready for you in the bathroom.” Willow said with a small comforting smile.

Tara got up from the couch. “ok I’ll take the bath, get some of my reading done, pick up after dinner….” And she was about to go on until Willow intruded on her train of thought.
“Tara I’ll take care of the dishes, and it’s Friday I promise tomorrow you will have enough time to do reading…” Willow began to say soothing words as she led Tara up the stairs. “and bathes can’t be properly performed if you are thinking. You see the water is just suppose to flow over you and clean everything away.” Willow said as she closed the door to the bathroom. “And your suppose to feel each drop…” Willow began to undress Tara while Tara just looked in Willow’s eyes allowing her to stop her obsessive thinking. Willow then lead Tara to the bathtub and lowered her body in the bath leaning Tara’s body back. “Now close your eyes and rest.” Tara closed her eyes and Willow could see each muscle relax like it was the first time Tara had ever been in a bath, let alone seated. “I’ll come back in twenty minute, baby.” Willow said as she got up from her squatting position and put a small kiss on Tara’s cheek.

Willow headed down stairs and quickly did the dishes. She did the laundry. And picked up the family room. Willow headed back upstairs and checked in on a sleeping Dawn and headed into the bathroom. Willow smiled. Tara had fallen asleep. She had been in the bathtub for a half an hour causing her skin to prune up… Willow began to wonder how long ago Tara had fallen asleep when she saw that Tara was crying in her sleep.

“Tara, baby wake up” Willow began to touch Tara’s face without being able to wake her. “Tara baby” Willow began to try to lift her in her arms when Tara finally woke up in deep sobs holding on to Willow…
“Willow… I can’t… I can’t ….”
“It’s ok baby” Willow began as she helped Tara get up.

Tara was trembling with every emotion just wracking her body. Willow grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Tara’s back. Willow looked down at Tara seeing how skinny she had gotten. Tara noticed and began to feel guilty… “Willow I’ve just been to busy to…” Tara started to look over herself afraid that Willow was disgusted by her. She began to try to hide her body.

Willow just had a tear in her eye and said “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Willow grabbed Tara in a tight hug and leading her to their bedroom. Tara decided she had to stop. Willow was becoming upset.

Willow began to go through the closet to get Tara some warm pajamas. Willow turned around and saw Tara shivering standing up. Willow could see her fighting her emotions back trying to control everything again. Tara began to cover herself up because then she wouldn’t seem so naked to the redhead in everyway. Willow came over and dropped the towel that was hiding Tara’s body and wrapped her arms around the nude girl. With her head on the taller girls shoulder she began to give simple kissing on her neck to try to calm her shivering body. Then all of a sudden Tara broke. She let Willow take all her weight putting her arms around her and crying quietly but it took all the energy just to cry. Willow just stood there until Tara could speak.

“uh… I’m sorry….” Tara said trying to pull herself back together. Willow kissed Tara on the lips delicately and picked up the pajamas that she had dropped on the floor and put the satin sleep shirt over the blonde girls shoulders and slowly buttoned it up staring at Tara’s eyes. She then went to get the satin pants and helped Tara put them on. Tara gave in to Willow completely now. Willow pulled down the covers and Tara laid down on her side. Willow took off her clothes just keeping on her shirt and underwear and laid on the other side and stared at Tara until Tara finally cried.
“It’s Ok baby. Let it go”
“Buffy… I-I…” Tara choked out in exhaustion.

“Shhh….”

The two girls laid there with Willow holding onto Tara as tight as she cold and Tara unable to even hold Willow she was so tired. Tara finally fell asleep. A calming sleep with Willow rocking her, with Willow taking the control, with Tara waving her white flag in defeat in the need of help.


-- The end --

Hoped you liked... it's my first... feedback would be good...



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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:38 pm 
Oh quick sorry... the little '------' that were in word.doc apparently didn't transfer over in the posting... sorry


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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:19 pm 
Sher, this is very good! I like the interaction (or rather, lack of interaction) between the characters. You did a good job of showing how each of them was caught up in their own feelings and need to stay in control, except for Dawn, who (rightly enough - hello, she's 14, not an adult) needed to be comforted reassured that the others would take care of her. Have you thought about continuing this?


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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:30 pm 
How great! I have read alot of fanfic, adn none of them have really had such detail on what it would have been like for the girl's after buffy died. And I really really liked how the characterization was written, truely like in the show. Thank you for the story.
-Will


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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:38 pm 
Sher -
This is a good "Missing moments" fic, tieing together the time between the two seasons. A few questions, however. Who is Tara overworking herself for? And why? Is it for Dawn? Or for Willow? Or because she wants to feel essential to the gang/her new family? I thing you have a good base here, but if you answered those questions more clearly, a good idea could become a great one.

I really liked what you did with Dawn in this. Very realistic, at least to me, of what her character is all about. I wanted to kill her while reading your story, and I often want to kill her when watching the show.

I'll look forward to future stories from you.

------------------
TARA: Willow and I always know how to find each other!
ANYA: With yoga?
****************
BUFFYBOT: That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!



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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:04 pm 
Very nice Sher. I am a biig fan of missing scenes fic (I should be I did enough!) and this is an important time which you have addressed well.

I would agree with Bobo's Mom's questions though.

The only nitpick I have of my own is when Giles is on the phone. Does her ever actually say "Hello this is Giles." (I might be misquoting) It is the "Giles" I am focussing on. You use it to show the reader who it is but I think that actually Willow would just recognise a "It's me" or something. Giles rarelly refers to himself as "Giles." Rupert Giles maybe...

Only going into this as in my own fic I have caught myself doing exactly the same sort of thing. "Giles" just flows so easily when writing, it is hard to take a step back from that.

Too much nitpicking! This is a great starting fic... lets have some more.

Katharyn

------------------
You hear that baby?



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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 11:06 pm 
Thanks for all the responses... hehehe I'm so excited I got feedback so quickly.

I should say it took me less than 2 hours to write all of that out... sort of an impulse 'write' Ok corny..

>Pixie: I knew at some point that may be something suggested. I don't quit know the way to do that though.... I kind of feel like the emotions were played out... but perhaps I'll write again when I get some time... college doesn't permit that often

> Bobo's Mom & Katharyn: I never really even considered those questions that you said. And I get where your coming from. Part of me understand for a structurized story you need those answered. But I feel like since we all know Willow, Tara, and Dawn's character background that sort of helps alot. We know that Tara wouldn't do it just for one of the listed she would do it for all.

My next story I'll keep those criticle questions in mine though because they are crucial. Thank You!
Also I have no clue what Giles says on teh telephone... I was just trying to think of somewhat stuffy words or formal words for him.

What do you think he would say... Giles is hard to figure out.

Thanks!
Sher



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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 11:21 pm 
This was an incredible piece of work. I love the way you wrote the characters. I got exhausted just reading about all of the things Tara was doing.
I found myself yelling at the screen. Telling Willow to wake up!
And I have to agree with Bobo's Mom...I got mad at Dawn and I want to jump into the T.V. and slap the crap out of her in the show as well.
Overall you did a GREAT job in this story.
Nice work...really good.
Willowfan

------------------
Tara:You found me...
Willow: I'll always find you.



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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2002 11:29 pm 
quote:quote:quote:quote:IP: LoggedInCyder08unregistered posted March 23, 2002 02:06              
I lurk much and almost never post but after reading this fic I had to de-lurk and post.

Sher, this was a REALLY great fic. I haven't read many that cover this time frame and none that were Tara centered.

I just wanted to let you know that I LOVED your fic and that it was just TERRIFIC. Is there any way that you could be persuaded to continue this fic? I have cookies.

Stay Safe - I'm Up & Out.

IP: Logged

posted March 23, 2002 02:06               I lurk much and almost never post but after reading this fic I had to de-lurk and post.

Sher, this was a REALLY great fic. I haven't read many that cover this time frame and none that were Tara centered.

I just wanted to let you know that I LOVED your fic and that it was just TERRIFIC. Is there any way that you could be persuaded to continue this fic? I have cookies.

Stay Safe - I'm Up & Out.IP: LoggedSherBlessed Wannabe


Posts: 13
Registered: Feb 2002
posted March 23, 2002 22:07            


Hmmmm Cookies... What a very tempting proposition.... hehehehe. I'm not sure how I would continue on this one story. I'll think about it though... as long as those cookies don't have nuts in them If I don't continue on this story, I'll try to write another one.
Tara is my favorite scoobie so most likely... there is Tara focus on whatever I write.

I'm so happy you like it... lurkers are welcomed... hehehe I use to be a lurker... I'm not sure which title I like better 'Wanna be Wiccan' or "Lurker". Thanks InCyber08!

Thanks
Sher!

IP: Logged

posted March 23, 2002 22:07             Hmmmm Cookies... What a very tempting proposition.... hehehehe. I'm not sure how I would continue on this one story. I'll think about it though... as long as those cookies don't have nuts in them If I don't continue on this story, I'll try to write another one.
Tara is my favorite scoobie so most likely... there is Tara focus on whatever I write.

I'm so happy you like it... lurkers are welcomed... hehehe I use to be a lurker... I'm not sure which title I like better 'Wanna be Wiccan' or "Lurker". Thanks InCyber08!

Thanks
Sher!
IP: LoggedThe Next Tara MaclayDoll's Eye Crystal


Posts: 117
Registered: Jan 2002
posted March 23, 2002 23:04            


Very good story, I like it a lot.

IP: Logged

posted March 23, 2002 23:04             Very good story, I like it a lot.

quote:
Originally posted by Sher:
Thanks for all the responses... hehehe I'm so excited I got feedback so quickly.

Ain't it a buzz?*S*

quote:

I should say it took me less than 2 hours to write all of that out... sort of an impulse 'write' Ok corny..

Run with those when they come... and 2 hours? Impressive.

quote:

But I feel like since we all know Willow, Tara, and Dawn's character background that sort of helps alot. We know that Tara wouldn't do it just for one of the listed she would do it for all.

A fair point, it is alot easier in that regard writing for known characters. You can dispense with alot of things and trust the reader to know those the characters. It didn't detract from the story for me... just left me thinking.

quote:

Also I have no clue what Giles says on teh telephone... I was just trying to think of somewhat stuffy words or formal words for him.

What do you think he would say... Giles is hard to figure out.


It is tough... I have vague memories of him simply launching straight into what he has to say (after a hello!) He has a distinctive accent for that part of the world of course. The scoob's would definitely recognise him I think. I would suggest thinking about how you speak to your own friends/family on the phone. Do you often have to say who it is? Or do they just know from your voice and what you say/how you say it?

I just get the impression that Giles isn't totally enamoured of being called "Giles" all the time. That is how the (at least initially) kids treat him... Everyone in the grown-up world Quentin/Jenny/Snyder etc calls him Mr Giles or Rupert. He accepts it like a nickname over time and even gets to like it, but I personally think that he would not refer to himself as "Giles." Just a humble opinion.

I can't believe I have rambled on about that one tiny line!! Supposed to be writing fanfic here!

Once again goood fic...

Katharyn

------------------
You hear that baby?

IP: Logged

InCyder08
unregistered
posted March 23, 2002 02:06              
I lurk much and almost never post but after reading this fic I had to de-lurk and post.

Sher, this was a REALLY great fic. I haven't read many that cover this time frame and none that were Tara centered.

I just wanted to let you know that I LOVED your fic and that it was just TERRIFIC. Is there any way that you could be persuaded to continue this fic? I have cookies.

Stay Safe - I'm Up & Out.

IP: Logged

Sher
Blessed Wannabe


Posts: 13
Registered: Feb 2002
posted March 23, 2002 22:07            
Hmmmm Cookies... What a very tempting proposition.... hehehehe. I'm not sure how I would continue on this one story. I'll think about it though... as long as those cookies don't have nuts in them If I don't continue on this story, I'll try to write another one.
Tara is my favorite scoobie so most likely... there is Tara focus on whatever I write.

I'm so happy you like it... lurkers are welcomed... hehehe I use to be a lurker... I'm not sure which title I like better 'Wanna be Wiccan' or "Lurker". Thanks InCyber08!

Thanks
Sher!

IP: Logged

The Next Tara Maclay
Doll's Eye Crystal


Posts: 117
Registered: Jan 2002
posted March 23, 2002 23:04            
Very good story, I like it a lot.

IP: Logged

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 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2002 12:06 am 
I lurk much and almost never post but after reading this fic I had to de-lurk and post.

Sher, this was a REALLY great fic. I haven't read many that cover this time frame and none that were Tara centered.

I just wanted to let you know that I LOVED your fic and that it was just TERRIFIC. Is there any way that you could be persuaded to continue this fic? I have cookies.

Stay Safe - I'm Up & Out.



Top
  
 
 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2002 8:07 pm 
Hmmmm Cookies... What a very tempting proposition.... hehehehe. I'm not sure how I would continue on this one story. I'll think about it though... as long as those cookies don't have nuts in them If I don't continue on this story, I'll try to write another one.
Tara is my favorite scoobie so most likely... there is Tara focus on whatever I write.

I'm so happy you like it... lurkers are welcomed... hehehe I use to be a lurker... I'm not sure which title I like better 'Wanna be Wiccan' or "Lurker". Thanks InCyber08!

Thanks
Sher!



Top
  
 
 Post subject: First FF: White Flag
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2002 9:04 pm 
Very good story, I like it a lot.


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