Hey, remember this? I do. I know it might seem like I've forgotten and left it for dead, but it's still kickin'! Me. In the back of the head. So I finally got to it and fixed up a chapter for you all.
Okay, onto really delayed feedback!
writerfreak, -Always-, tazraven - Thanks!
JustSkipIt - Willow so doesn't know she's gay and I find it funny and yet very understandable. "Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to-" I love that innocence about how her mind works, and I'm glad it's being picked up on even if I'm keeping it kinda subtle.
Super-fast RECAP- Willow and Tara had just parted from their morning after the Gentlemen adventure. Willow and Faith have found out Tara is a demon. Maybe.
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Title: First Touch
Author: theblew
Email:
the_blew@yahoo.com
Ratings: Will fluctuate. There will be violence of the killing vampires/demons nature, adult language, and perhaps some steaminess if you're good. So be prepared for a default of the fic being rated R. I'll warn you when it's NC-17.
Pairing: W/T
Distribution: It's all yours. Just tell me where it's goin'.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Spoilers: Up through season 4.
Summary: The aftermath and what would happen if the episode 'Halloween' ended a little differently.
Angst: Yes. You know you love it.
Note: Thoughts in italics.
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First Touch
Chapter Nine: About Time
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“Hey, isn’t it time for tea-time?” Faith was lounging casually on Giles’ couch that Saturday afternoon. “Or is it different on weekends, like with the post office?” After carelessly flipping a crumbling page of an old book with detailed etchings, Giles walked up to where she lay and not so kindly grabbed the tome out of her hands.
“Faith, just because I’m English doesn’t mean I fit into every British stereotype.” He set the book gently on the coffee table, reached for the morning’s paper and splashed it on the Slayer’s lap, “And, yes, it is ‘tea-time.’” He turned for the kitchen to satiate his new craving.
Shortly after Tara had left Willow and Faith's apartment, the duo carried on with their day by updating Giles of the previous night's excursions. Relentless questions went unanswered about Willow's so called 'teleportation' because, simply put, the ghost was extremely focused on telling Giles more about Tara than herself. He gave up, but not with one last question, 'What were you thinking about when it happened?' to which Willow simply replied, 'I don't remember. It all happened so fast.'
A cool shadow repeatedly played across Faith’s body as Willow paced in Buffy's short skirt and looked out the windows. “It’s getting late. She’s late. Why’s she so late?” When first approached about the subject of demon detection, Giles had to do a little research on how to figure it out. He resolved that one of the most reliable ways to determine if the girl was in fact a demon, was with a simple spell. After Willow's spastic phone-call to Tara coupled with a few perplexed glances from Giles to Faith, they all agreed to meet later in the day at Giles' house to do the spell. But now that it was a little later than when Tara was expected to arrive, Willow was worrying, “Maybe she doesn’t feel well, or maybe she’s at the hospital because of her injuries! I knew-”
“She said she’d be here around four, and that big ugly clock over there says it’s only 4:03.”
Giles shouted from the kitchen, “It’s antique!”
The brunette ignored him, “Anyway, that leaves ten or so minutes to still be considered ‘around four.’ So chill. You’re making me nauseous.” Faith leaned back into the soft cushions and added for Giles’ benefit, “And it must’ve been ugly back then, too.” She crumpled the paper to the funnies. "Oh, those Lockhorns! Just like home."
“But maybe she’s hurt. Again! Or-or she doesn’t want to see us and she’s scared? Because of the demon thing?” Willow stopped her movements and her eyes saddened until she heard a timid knock coming from the front door. She brightened immediately. The apparition took large steps and walked through the blank wall next to the heavy front door. Willow was able to avoid Tara’s body completely when she stepped into the afternoon sun of Giles’ courtyard, “Hi!”
The greeting probably would have been better executed if Tara hadn’t been looking the other direction. The girl jumped and turned her head quickly to view the jarring redhead. That was a mistake. Willow winced when Tara reached for her bandaged throat. “Oh god! I’m so sorry!” she closed her eyes, angry with herself. “I keep… And I don’t mean to…” she gave up with a growl and shake of her hands.
“I-it’s okay. See?” Tara turned to face Willow and moved her head back and forth a little with only the slightest of discernible winces.
“Sure?”
Tara reached to stop Willow’s wringing fingers but quickly remembered whom she was dealing with when her own hand passed right through Willow's. She looked down but smiled at the brief touch and spoke, “I’m fine, Willow.”
“Sure?” she weakly repeated. There was a fresh breeze that scuttled some nearby litter. The strong wind blew through Willow’s body to push Tara’s long hair from her face. Tara’s newly visible smile was contagious, and Willow nodded to the door, “Shall we?”
Tara looked into Willow’s eyes, which were thickly outlined in dark mascara, “We s-surely shall.” She let out a few short breaths and pressed down the cool handle of the door.
***
Okay, just act normal. Don’t clam up and don’t be an idiot.
Tara had been pacing outside of Giles’ home for a good five minutes before she got the courage to knock. She had been giving herself a sort of pep talk. It was mostly filled with doom and put-downs. It was more of an anti-pep talk when she thought about it. But no matter how nervous she felt it wasn’t like she could just run away from the Slayer. Tara hated to think it, but she would rather die than go back home to her family.
Maybe they can find a cure. Or help me control it or… A morose thought entered her mind.
…make it painless.
She realized that kind of thinking was getting her nowhere and she lightly rapped on the dark wooden door with her tender knuckles hoping no one was home. After the small Willow-sized surprise, her confidence raised and decreased at the same time. The pair entered the apartment and she closed the door behind them.
Normally, Tara would have focused on the décor of the loft, taken in the aroma, looked for the people inside, wondered about whether or not she should take off her shoes, and many more cascading thoughts which would flow through a person’s mind when entering someone’s household for the first time. But at that particular moment, she was forced to focus on a sharp voice coming from her direct line of vision.
“What the fuck is that fucker doing there!?” Faith was screaming at Giles. Tara didn’t expect such a strong reaction to her presence by Faith, especially based on their previous interactions.
So this is the fear that drives uncontrolled urination... The slayer was imperially pissed. Did they not know she was coming? Was it some kind of weird trap? Had Willow reassured her everything would be all right with her wily, Willow-ways just to corral her in with the wolves?
No. She couldn’t have.
Did she?
So many thoughts were flooding Tara’s mind and blood rushed her eardrums. Her palms were sweating, and her stomach decided to take a vacation south. She looked toward Willow to understand, but Willow’s attention wasn’t concerned with Tara at all. It was focused towards a seated man at a desk.
Guess that’s Mr. Giles.
As she looked at him more closely she noticed he was cradling a black telephone to his ear. Tara’s thoughts were starting to pull together right when Faith ripped the phone out of Giles’ grasp. The body of the phone dangled in the air from a once curly chord pulled straight. Faith tried to pick it up by the coiling wire whilst she repeated into the receiver, “Why the
fuck is that fucking fucker there!?”
Oooooh. Now Tara got it. Kind of. She looked closer, and it seemed Faith hadn’t even noticed the pair enter the apartment. The harsh greeting wasn’t a greeting at all. For her, at least. Faith's eyes stared off into space and Tara assumed she was focusing on a different picture altogether in her own mind.
More of Faith’s gratuitous language continued into the telephone, and Tara turned to Willow again. She noticed the ghost’s eyes were extremely wide, but more with embarrassment; not shock. Willow finally faced Tara. “It wasn’t like this before I met you outside, I swear. It was calm before. Relaxed. Even a little chipper,” she pleaded.
Giles didn’t notice Willow and Tara enter his home either and got up from his desk chair. He muttered along the way to a large map on the wall, “Why, Faith, would you care to speak to Angel on the telephone? You would? Well, here, let me hand it to you. Oh it's no problem at all, you're very welcome…”
Willow’s eyes followed him and saw the watcher taking out a ball of red string from a nearby drawer. Tara could tell it must have been half its original size when she peered at the map before the man. It was filled with fraying yarn turned a pinkish-orange from years of fading in the sunlight.
Willow appeared nervous and Tara just nodded in understanding when the girl silently excused herself to seek answers from a calmer source.
“Why there?” Faith was clenching her fists; one around the receiver of the telephone and another by her waist. Tara thought she heard the plastic cracking and felt it was a little surprising that Faith could seem so menacing and dangerous.
Well what do you expect a Slayer to act like? A valley girl?
Her blue eyes were focused on the Slayer; particularly the Slayer’s flexing muscles.
Holy cow, she could snap my spine in three. Tara didn’t know what was going on and didn’t want to intrude, but she couldn’t help but overhear Willow’s conversation coming from the other side of the room.
“Boston?” Willow was at Giles’ side and moved her whole head, not just her eyes, to watch him shuffle pins around. Like a nearby ambulance siren, Faith kept shouting in the background of their discussion.
He spoke with a tack in his mouth, “South Boston, to be precise.”
Willow peaked back at Tara and then to Faith, “But that's her-” Giles just nodded in silence as he connected the strings. Now Willow's eyes were moving as if they were trying to catch hold of all the questions in her mind, but they all formed into one, “Well?”
“Well,” he pushed his finishing touch into the wall, “from what little I heard, before my arm was nearly torn off, it was just a spotting of him. No one knows what he’s up to yet.” He cleaned his glasses then put them on to look at his latest addition. A strong red string crossed the Atlantic Ocean from a small dot in Italy to America’s east coast. He continued, “But my best guess is he’s up to something that may concern her. There’s a lot one can gather from a person’s home- and not just information, if we’re magically speaking.” Willow was speechless.
“Fine. Bye.” Faith slammed the phone down hard. It whimpered with a ring. She looked to Giles, “I’m leaving.”
“I’m not sure traveling to Boston would be advisable, Faith,” he spoke. She was about to cut in, but he reminded her; his voice now raised with authority, “We decided together, that next time we would wait it out and not jump to conclusions as we did before, remember?”
Tara felt so awkward as she still stood near the door.
This must be what it felt like for the only friend I ever invited to my house that one time…
The argument continued, “I’m not just gonna sit and watch Hollywood Squares when I could be protecting us and fixing this. Ending this! And if he’s in Boston trying to mess with me or whatever, then he’s lookin’ for a major ass-kicking” She pointed in the air towards the invisible enemy. Tara noted in her mind that Faith was actually pointing north and not east towards Boston.
"That's north," Willow muttered, "East is, uh..." she just pointed cautiously with one quiet index finger held low by her waist. When the redhead caught the slayer's glare she dropped closed her fist immediately.
Giles cut in, “And if he is up to something, we’ll figure it out quickly and logically. He’s slippery, but not one to keep his presence hidden.” Giles gestured powerfully with his hands and stepped closer to the slayer, “I refuse to let him get away again and I refuse to let you ruin our chance by scaring him away or by getting yourself hurt.”
Fed up, Faith turned her attention away from her Watcher and mutely started scrounging through Giles’ weapons chest.
“Faith!” Giles tried to get her attention, but it wasn’t working. She stood up fully with a rather large knife in her right hand. It glinted in Tara's eyes. “You need to control yourself, for our sake, if not your own!”
“I know!” she looked to him with dark eyes, “I’ll stay. And I get you, I do. I just…” She looked around the room to gather her thoughts, but her temper was flaring. “I need to slay,” Tara could practically feel Faith’s gaze on her before she met it with her own terrified eyes, “and I need to slay now.” It was a predatory gaze.
Oh god, oh god, oh god… Tara tensed and suddenly couldn’t remember how to breathe.
The Slayer advanced on the girl rapidly, but just as she a few quick steps away, Willow appeared before Faith and Tara’s eyes. “Holy shit!” Faith startled. The sight of her friend suddenly blocking her way to Tara was enough to slow Faith down, but the slayer's intentions were still very clear.
Willow looked a bit stunned, but quickly regained composure in front of her best friend. She stood up straight and with a deep and calm voice spoke, “Don’t you dare.”
Faith wasn’t about to back down, “Why the hell are you protecting a demon!” During the sudden appearance of Willow, Giles looked to Tara and caught the girl's eyes. With a parental authority, he motioned for her to join him. Tara took her first step, but the tip of a sword entered her vision as it held firmly in the air centimeters before her eyes. The blade was protruding through the back of Willow's left shoulder.
"You, don't move" Faith spoke to Tara but was looking in Willow's eyes the whole time. She then addressed her best friend, "And you, get outta my sight."
Now Willow was the one to raise her voice, “I'm not just protecting her and she’s not a demon!”
“You don’t fucking know that!!”
“Well neither do you!”
Tara noticed Faith wasn't one to draw out an argument when the slayer silently looked back and forth between her friends, “I’m trying to help you people!” She got silence in return, “Fuck this shit.” She lowered her weapon and left.
***
Giles handed Tara a cup of tea, “Again, I do apologize for Faith’s behavior, Tara."
Willow and Tara were sitting on his couch, and on the short table before them were remnants of a rather complicated but quickly executed spell. Tara excepted the cup of tea with a slight smile, and Willow watched her lips form into a soft O-shape and blow small ripples across the liquid's surface. Steam rose to dampen her light-brown eyebrows. The redhead continued to assess Tara's attempt to not burn her mouth by slowly testing the heat on her upper lip before taking a safe sip while Giles sat in a nearby leather chair.
Tara nodded in satisfaction of the tea, "Oh, you don't need to apo-ologize, Mr. Giles. I-I'm sure if I were in her position- you-you're position I wouldn't be a-able t-to- I mean, n-not that th-there's... o-or that she's... " There was no need to explain her thoughts. Willow and Giles just nodded.
The silence festered a little, and Willow noticed that the sun was almost down. She spoke up, "It's almost dark out. You might wanna get back to campus quickly."
Tara set down her cup gently on the coffee table and looked to Willow, "O-okay."
"I can walk!" Willow shocked herself with her own proclamation.
Who am I? Tiny Tim!? She looked at the curious faces in the room,
I bet Giles would make a good Scrooge. "I mean, I can walk you. With you, not- I can walk with you when you walk... with yourself? Uh, if-if you want? Me to walk you home?"
Willow was nervous. Why was she nervous?
Tara chuckled a little and looked toward the ghost seated beside her, "That'd be great. I mean, you know, f-fine."
Silence again.
Giles looked between the two girls and spoke up, "Well, then, Tara do contact me if anything is troubling you, and please keep in touch with the results. No matter what the reaction, I'm sure we can safely deal with what comes your way."
The brief smile Tara had previously shared with Willow disappeared at the mention of the spell, "A-are you sure i-it'll show up? Be-because I'm n-n-not yet-"
The watcher cut her off, "I'm sure it'll show. The spell is designed to respond to any demon matter, dormant or not. Just keep the charm close to your skin for the night until the charm changes its color. You do remember the colors?"
Willow's eyesight aimed toward the short chain necklace with a clear crystal. It was flat and held easily to the skin above Tara's heart. Willow continued to look at it among other interesting aspects of Tara's upper torso while the girl and Giles continued to talk. "Y-yes. Yellow for human and black for d-d-d-de..." She let the word trail off into nothing.
"Yes, well." Giles stood up, and Willow turned her head quickly to look at him.
"Well, uh, we should probably get going. Sun down and all," Willow stood and swayed her arms at her side in a carefree manner with soundless snaps.
Tara looked up, "Y-yes." She stood and straightened her skirt.
*****
How did we get here so fast!? Willow was standing outside of Tara's dorm room and watching her fish out her keys. Without realization, the ghost was silently wishing Tara had lost them just to make time stretch a little longer. She heard the familiar jangle and out they came from the girl's bag. They had walked straight from Giles' and talked the whole way, yet time flew as light banter was passed between them.
The door unlocked, and Tara's hand was still on the cold metallic knob when she turned to Willow, "D-do you want to come in?"
Willow's heart fluttered and just as quickly those words made her smile, she couldn't help declining, "Oh, that's - you don't have to invite me. I mean, I'm sure you-you have college type stuff I'd just, uh, keep you from. You being the college girl and all..." She trailed off as Tara's face fell.
"O-Okay-"
"Um, un-unless you want me to? If you want me, I-"
"Yes." Tara's voice was strong and she jumped at Willow's bait, "I, um, if you want to?" She stepped unto the room and opened the door wide for Willow.
The apparition eased her way in slowly to take in all her surroundings. It was close to sun-down and darkness was settling in the room. She heard a flick and noticed a few mellow lamps and a series of small white lights brighten the room. The space was still dark with its black walls, rich fabrics and unusual decorations. Metallic wire sculptures, though hard in touch, still gave off a soft quality with its use of sparse fabric and feminine form. Candles and crystals covered most surfaces along with brittle books, both old and new. Everything felt so tactile through Willow's eyes. The walls were decorated in small pin-up girl oil-paintings, some old paper music flyers, and a large abstract piece made up of muddled words, symbols and images which seemed to encompass the enormity of one fleeting thought. Or was it a feeling? And there, in the middle of the room, standing on a hand-woven rug was a shy girl; pale blonde wisps, eyes nowhere to be held, and clunky boots with their long laces tickling the floor. From one glance she looked ordinary, but when witnessing the room in which the girl surrounded herself, Willow realized how much the atmosphere was comforting and unique. It was supportive and strong; timid and adventurous; inspiring and gloomy. It was Tara personified and it welcomed Willow with warm open arms.
Oh... Wow.
Willow stood feet away from Tara and could tell the girl was feeling nervous about her own decorating judgments. "I love it." They were the only words Willow could think to say and she blushed a little, without the sensation of heat on her cheeks, after hearing them.
Tara looked up with a small smile and started to oppose Willow's statement, "It's kind of cluttered, I didn't expect... I haven't, um, even taken d-down the Christmas lights yet-"
"Don't," Willow stopped her.
"But it's January?"
"No, I mean. Well, yes, don't take them down. They look great. It all looks great. I meant don't try to deny it. I really do. Love it, I mean." Willow paused. "So, yeah. Um." Tara looked at her to finish, "Yeah I'm, uh, done talking. Now. I'm gonna stop. I mean it. Uh, right-"
"Thank you." The statement was quiet, but full of heart.
Astonishment? "I like them too," Tara pointed meekly to the string of lights.
"I have some too. I don't know if you saw. I'd prefer the blue ones, but, well, I really like the white ones. Snowy and starry; they're classy, really. My apartment has the usual colored pack and they should probably come down, but knowing Fai-" Willow cut herself off at the mention of her roommate and co-holiday-apartment-decorator's name. A frown settled on her brow.
"Don't," this word now spilled from Tara's mouth.
"But she-"
"Willow, it's fine. I'm not upset and you shouldn't be either."
"Bu-"
Tara gave the ghost a look, but it wasn't stern. Her expression was contemplative and a little nervous, "She j-j-ust... she's looking out for her f-f-family."
At that word Willow's tension dissipated quickly but she tried to hold onto it for Tara's sake, "Well she... She could've-"
"She didn't," Tara took a few steps toward the young redhead.
"But she was going to! And that would have been..." She didn't even want to comprehend the thought of what could have taken place earlier that night.
"I-I know. You wouldn't want to lose h-her to-" Willow could only nod. Tara looked around the room dejectedly at her own self, "And I d-deserve-"
"Tara!! You don't know that!" Willow stepped incredibly close to Tara and searched to reach the girl's sight with her own. "And even if you were... you would never deserve... that." She couldn't bring herself to thinking someone as good as Tara felt could ever be evil.
Tara moved to her bed and sat down hard and bounced with a sigh. Willow joined her and sat next to the girl. Time went on for a few moments as each girl lost themselves in thoughts they never knew could exist. Willow leaned closer and spoke to get the other girl's attention, "Tara."
The girl didn't look up from her hands. Willow didn't feel like fighting for her eyes. They were both tired and overwhelmed with how frantic their lives had both increased within the past two days. Willow felt the conversation lull and didn't know whether to walk away, run away or stay forever in that wonderful room. She counted the seconds and was startled out of track when Tara suddenly lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
"I want to wait forever and I want have it all at once, at the same time." Tara's whisper was tinged with fear and aggression.
"For what?" It was a simple question that parted the redhead's lips.
"The truth."
Willow looked down at the clear pendent then resting near the bandage of Tara's long neck, "Oh."
She joined Tara by leaning back slowly. The mattress never tilted under her weight. Tara's body went undisturbed.
The apparition's eyes looked up toward the same ceiling that engaged Tara's thoughts. She could hear a clock ticking in the back of her own mind. It was funny how time always barged into her life.
My death Her awareness of passing time had increased greatly since her death. Now that her own time was done, yet endless, it mattered to her more than anything. The problem was she still had no idea how to spend it.
Pushing those thoughts away and pushing her head more towards Tara's she revealed softly, "I'll... I'll still be here. Even if..."
Tara's face turned towards the ghosts and looked confusedly hopeful. Willow met her gaze and, inches apart, softly asked, "Okay?"
Blue eyes turned glassy with moisture and Tara's chin trembled a little. With a the slightest hint of a relieved smile she opened her mouth and responded with silence until a whisper made its way out, "Okay."
The slightest of two heads nodding to each other was the only indication that particular conversation was over with for the night. They lay for a long time afterward. Tara's eyes were closed, but Willow knew the girl was only resting quietly; much like how Willow, herself, slept. Willow was starting to doze off into her meditations in the relaxed atmosphere when a gurgle erupted from a nearby empty tummy.
Silence passed for nearly ten seconds until both girls started giggling with their eyes closed. The bed shook with Tara's chuckles, but Willow never noticed. It wasn't until another angrier grumble was making its presence known that both girls opened their eyes and looked at each other.
Willow sat up, "You probably want to go get something to eat. I can leave-"
"No." Tara said urgently. She sat up slowly, "I... Stay?" Willow moved her eyes to take in all the features of the girl's face. "I just, I don't think I can- I don't want to be alone, yet. Through this." Tara gripped the necklace. Willow nodded, but then Tara quickly contradicted her previous feelings, "No, go. You-you don't have to s-s-st-"
"I'm here."
"Okay."
Willow stayed with Tara and spent some time wasting time.
No, no waste. She promised Tara she'd stay until the girl fell serenely asleep, and to watch the girl slumber certainly wasn't a waste in Willow's hidden mind.
It also didn't hurt that Tara let the ghost help assist in doing her math homework.
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End Chapter Nine