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 Post subject: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 5:03 pm 
Don’t worry everyone, I am NOT abandoning HRTM or Broadway Baby or A Normal Life… wow…I have a lot of fic going on right now, don’t I? Anyway… inspiration struck and I had to start writing this. It’s going to be a very short fic… probably finished in less than five posts. But I feel this is a story that I need to write. For me, and for the wonderful people I work with everyday. I hope you enjoy. Cheers! DW :pride



Special



By



DarkWiccan



Disclaimers: Willow and Tara and other characters borrowed from the television show “Buffy: The Vampire Slayer” are the property of their creator, Joss Whedon, and his affiliates, Mutant Enemy, Fox, and UPN.



Spoilers: None



Rating: PG-13



Coupling: C’mon, guys, this is me writing, who do you think?



Summary: All of the children of the world are special. But sometimes, some children are even more special than others.



Dedication: This story is dedicated to all of the families and caretakers of special people everywhere. www.opportunityvillage.org www.eastersealssn.org



Being a single mom isn’t easy. Understatement of the year. Not wanting to be mistaken, I adore my son with all of my heart. It’s just that some days…. It’s hard. Getting pregnant at nineteen was certainly not on my list of things to do in the grand scheme of my life… but it happened, and faced with the options of abortion, or giving the baby up for adoption, I chose to carry my son to term.



The thought of keeping him had not even entered my mind until he was born. He came out of me, and they laid him on my chest, and I just looked down at this amazing little baby looking back at me with wide and expressive blue eyes and I fell instantly in love. I can still remember the look on the couple’s face when I told them that I wouldn’t sign the papers releasing him into their custody. I still feel terrible about it. But after all, he is my son…mine… and it was my right to keep him if I wanted to.



My parents weren’t happy about it at first, either. But now they wouldn’t give up their grandson for the world on a silver platter. Just last year at Chanukah, my mother took me aside and said to me that she was glad that I kept him, and that she and my father couldn’t imagine their lives without him. I told her that I felt the same way.



I’ve tried to maintain as normal a life as possible, even while raising and providing for my son. I’ve somehow managed to squeeze in a few college courses, while working a full time job and caring for Joshua. That’s my son’s name, Joshua… Josh for short… or even J.J. sometimes. It depends on his mood… and mine too. He’s a good boy, even with the challenges.



My mother was the first to notice. I didn’t even realize anything was wrong. I didn’t know that by the time a baby reaches six months old, they should be able to sit up on their own, or hold their bottle, or crawl…or even stand a little. I didn’t know. But mom knew and she suggested that we take Josh to the doctor for some tests.



He was diagnosed as being mildly mentally retarded, with a possibility of being re-diagnosed as moderately retarded as he got older, depending on the progress of his development. I remember how my heart felt when the pediatrician had uttered those words, it felt like my chest had caved in and my entire world was sucked backwards threw the hole that was now there in the middle of me. I think I almost fainted, because I can remember my mother’s arms wrapping tightly around me and holding me in place. I just looked at Joshua, lying on his baby blanket on the floor, clumsily pawing at his rattle and I tried so hard to see the truth in what the doctor had said. I remember thinking, aren’t retarded babies ugly, or strange looking? Joshua isn’t either, he’s a beautiful little boy… how can a beautiful little boy be retarded?



I know it was terrible of me to think that, but I was trying to make sense of the suddenly crazy world that had sprung up around me in the span of four words, “Your son is retarded.” When your child is hurt or sick, you just want to kiss them and make it better, but no amount of kisses will ever be able to fix what’s wrong with my son. My baby.



Joshua was diagnosed two and a half years ago. He’s three years old now and still a beautiful boy, despite his slowness. He is a gem sent from heaven to be a part of my life and he makes everyday even more precious than the last.



I don’t see his father anymore. In truth, he walked out of our lives before Joshua was even born. I’m not even sure he knows that I kept our son. He probably assumes that he’s with a set of adoptive parents somewhere, if he even thinks about him at all.



His absence doesn’t bother me. He was a mistake anyway. The first man I’d ever slept with, and the first time I’d ever slept with him, and I got pregnant. Typical. I only slept with him to try and prove something to myself… to prove that I wasn’t gay. I was wrong though, because I am. I mean, I really, really am. It just so happened that in the process of coming to terms with my sexuality, I got a little going away prize.



I love my son. I really do. He is the sweetest being on the face of the earth.



Sometimes it’s hard though…from day to day. I don’t have many friends, and it’s difficult to make new ones. I’ve had a lot of friendships that start… but come to an end once they realized that, not only do I have a small child, he’s a special needs child, and apparently for a lot of people, that’s just too much to handle, even just as a friend.



There’s a stigma associated with being a young parent. You’re sort of treated like you must be stupid, or easy, or irresponsible to get pregnant while you’re still a teenager. But let me tell you, I was valedictorian of my high school class, so I am not stupid. I’ve only ever been with three people, two of which were women, and one of which was a man, so I am not easy. And the fact that I can juggle a job, school and taking care of my beautiful son shows that I am not irresponsible.



What I am is frustrated… and lonely. But I’m hoping that’s going to change soon.



I met this amazing woman at the Easter Seals Children’s Development Center. It’s a specialized daycare center for children like my Josh, who need extra care and attention. I’ve had Joshua enrolled in their program since he was two, so that I could go to work full-time, instead of having to depend on my parents. J.J. has done so well there, he really thrives in the colorful and warm environment, and all the staff are totally in love with him. Who wouldn’t be?



So, this woman, this amazing woman, just started working there last week as a CAS (Children’s Activities Supervisor). I remember seeing her for the first time when I dropped Josh off in the morning on Wednesday. She was standing by the front desk telling something to the receptionist, Marci, and she looked up to see who was coming through the door. It was me, of course, gently pulling J.J. along by his hand. He’s still getting used to walking on his own, so I try to take things slow.



“And who is this handsome young man,” she had said, smiling this beautiful wide smile and walking over to us. Her hair, long and blonde, was pulled back into a ponytail that swished when she walked. She knelt down in front of Josh and looked at him through gorgeous blue eyes that spoke of serenity and patience and love. What can I say, I’ve always had a thing for blue eyes. Joshua hid his face against my leg, shy of this pretty new stranger.



“His name is Joshua,” I announced, proud of him despite myself.



“Joshua Rosenberg?” she clarified, looking up to me. I couldn’t help but notice the rainbow beaded necklace resting at the base of her throat.



“That’s right,” I nodded, trying to hide my happiness at my discovery of her.



“Well, Josh,” she smiled, looking back to my son, “you’re in my room today. Would you like to come and play with me?”



She waited for J.J. to respond until I finally explained, “He’s… he’s nonverbal.”



“A quiet guy, huh?” she grinned, “well, I like quiet guys… I think they’re cute.” She touched his cheek lightly with her index finger. Joshua blushed and pushed even harder against my leg, trying to hide. She stood and extended her hand to me, “Hi, I’m Tara, the new CAS for room 302.”



“Willow,” I replied, shaking her hand. It felt warm and soft in my own. Gentle.



“Would you like to take Josh back to the room?” she asked, “or is he okay with new people?”



“He’ll be okay,” I assure her, “just take his hand and lead him where you want to go.”

I passed Joshua’s hand to her and pulled him away from my leg a little so that I could kneel down and look into his eyes. “You be a good boy for Miss Tara, J.J. Mommy will be back to get you later, like always.” I kissed his forehead and stood back up.



“He’ll be fine,” she reassured me.



“I know,” I smiled, “He loves it here. He does so well…” My thought drifted off as I found myself caught up in the beauty of her face, the soulfulness of her gaze. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to pull myself out of my thoughts long enough to say, “Well, I have to go. Work is waiting.”



“Okay, we’ll see you later,” she smiled, “Right Josh?”



“Bye, J.J.,” I said, giving him a little wave, before turning to go. Over my shoulder I could hear Tara talking to him as she led him down the hall. “We are going to have so much fun today, Joshua. You and me. We’re going to paint and make stuff out of play-dough and play pretend with Tonka trucks….” Her voice faded out and I surmised she must have entered the daycare room at the end of the hall.



All day long that day at work I just kept thinking about her. Tara. Such a pretty name. And she was so good with Joshua. I decided right then and there that I was going to get to know this woman better.





*****

TBC...

Edited by: DarkWiccan at: 4/20/04 7:00 am


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 Post subject: Wonderful
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 6:02 pm 
I've always been a "sneaky cat" but I had to tell you how much I'm enjoying this fic. My brother has special needs and it's great to see a fic like this out there. Thank you!:applause



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 6:07 pm 
An amazing premise to a W/T story, DW. You are a brave writer for tackling the tough subjects. I'm interested to see what happens as J.J. works with Tara. And will Tara figure out that Willow is interested? Let's wait and see.


More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 6:35 pm 
Wow what a wonderful setting for a story. I was really drawn in by the first person style at the begining telling the backstory. I can't wait to read more...oh and if you happen to go over 5 parts I don't think anyone here will mind :grin



So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 6:40 pm 
DW, this is amazing, just as all your fics are. It's wonderful how you are tackling an issue this important in a way people can relate. And Willow's initial reflection on the events that led her to this point, stunning. I can't wait to see where you take this, and I have to agree with Mike, I am curious as to see how Tara deals with Willows feelings for her. Bravo on this story, I will be checking hourly for updates. Hint, hint. ;)



Blessed Be,

Sarah



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 6:46 pm 
Oh yes definitely WOW!!:banana :applause



can't wait to read more..please..please!



:D

"I'd cry..i would die if i lost you"-Alex Parks...I love you, baby!



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 7:28 pm 
Awww, more, please!!!!! Please please? :D

This is such a sweet fic already; I'm sort of biased when it comes to special needs, but I love this! YAY!

-AH

Et je saigne encore, tout ce rouge sur mon corps, je te blesse dans un dernier effort



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 8:50 pm 
DW - you never fail to amaze me. You don't shy away from the difficult subjects nor do you have any difficulty in the more fun day-in-the-life. This fic is off to a great start. I have a 'special' interest in this story as well - my gf's sister is special needs and she is one of the sweetest people I know. She is full of love and has adopted me as a sister, too. She loves to tease Kathy and I whenever we show any affection in front of her - generally a sassy shake of her finger and an "ooohhhhhh" but it doesn't detract from the most important thing - unconditional love.



Thank you for this!

-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:13 pm 
oh wow, I love it. Sweet and so well written.



I can't wait for the next bit.



Jill

~~~~~~~~

Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?



My Home Page | Amber Powered | Alyson Powered



There is a little bit of Amber in all of us.



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 Post subject: Re: New Short Fic: "Special"
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:57 pm 
Great idea for a story, DW, but then again, you always have interesting tales to tell. You've managed to make me fall in love with Tara, Willow and little Josh in just one chapter. More soon I hope.

*****



"The history of our nation has demonstrated that separate is seldom, if ever, equal." The Massachusetts Supreme Court upholding its ruling in favor of gay marriage



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 Post subject: Update: 4/13/04
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 11:12 pm 
Hi guys! Thank you so much for the positive responses. I will post replies tomorrow. In the meantime, here is a little update for you.



_________________________________________________



When I got off work that night, I bee-lined for Easter Seals. This wasn’t anything new. I always rushed to pick up Joshua, finding it difficult to be away from him so long, even after leaving him in such capable hands. But this night, I had another reason to hurry. Depending on what shift the CAS’s worked, they got off at different times. Sometimes even as early as 3’o’clock. It was half past four when I got off of work, and I secretly prayed that Tara was a nine to fiver. I wanted to see her again, and see how she was with Josh, after a long day of dealing with the other children and their behaviors. Joshua, thankfully, didn’t seem to have too many disruptive behaviors, but I knew that some of the other children in his group could be a handful sometimes. If Tara walked out of that room just as easy-going as she had been when she walked in…the girl was a keeper.



I walked into the lobby of the care center and was surprised to find Tara and J.J. almost as I had left them, in front of the receptionist’s desk. She was kneeling down in front of him, playing patty-cake. Joshua was smiling, clearly enjoying this game, even though he missed her hands more often then not. His eye-hand coordination was still very underdeveloped, but bless his little heart, he was trying.



Tara looked up at me and grinned. “Hi, Mom,” she said, standing to greet me. “Josh and I were waiting for you.”



“You were,” I smiled, playing along. I looked to Joshua. ”Were you really waiting for me, J.J.?” Joshua clapped his hands together and bounced a little causing himself to go off-balance. I stepped forward to catch him, mother’s instinct taking over, but Tara was there instantly, holding him up.



“Whoa, there, cowboy,” she said, “Now, I’ve told you, Joshua, if you want to keep coming back to play, you have to quit drinking so much.”



I laughed, unable to suppress my reaction to the humorous comment. She looked at me again, this time keeping Josh’s hand in hers so that he wouldn’t fall. “His file said that you normally picked him up at this time,” she explained, “So I thought I would have him ready for you.”



“Thank you,” I replied, I don’t think my voice could have sounded more sincere. I noticed the backpack slung over her shoulder and asked, “What time do you get off?”



She chuckled a little, the sound rich and throaty in her chest. “Um, twenty minutes ago, actually,” she answered, glancing to her watch, “I was going to catch the 4:20 bus, but either I missed it, or it’s late. I’ll just grab the 5:--“



“I can give you a ride,” I offered, cutting her off.



She regarded me for a moment, considering. “Um…no. That’s okay. I don’t mind the bus and I don’t want to inconvenience you.”



“It’s not an inconvenience,” I assured her. I couldn’t believe I was being so bold, but something inside of me was driving me to know more about this woman.



“I appreciate that,” she smiled, “but I’m new and I’m not sure if there’s any sort of policy on clients taking staff home.”



“There isn’t,” I stated. I must have been a little firm about it because she seemed to look at me with quiet shock. “I mean… I’ve driven Marci home before,” I tried to backpedal to seem less desperate. “I don’t think it’s a problem.”



“Well…if you’re sure.” She still seemed hesitant.



“I’m sure,” I nodded, and indicated to Josh, “Besides, the way he’s clinging to you I don’t think he’s ready yet to say goodbye.” That seemed to be the closing argument. Tara looked down and smiled at Joshua who was holding tightly to her hand and pant leg.



“Okay,” she finally agreed. We started slowly to my car, J.J. keeping his hold on Tara’s hand the entire way. I took hold of his other hand, and she and I walked with him between us. It was almost like holding hands with her, and Josh was acting as the conduit.



We finally reached my little white Honda and I opened the doors, putting Joshua in his car seat in the back, while Tara climbed into the front passenger seat. She arrested her movement a little as she sat down, reaching beneath her and pulling up a stuffed animal of Clifford the Big Red Dog.



“I didn’t know you had pets,” she joked.



“Oh,” I smiled, taking it from her. “It’s Joshua’s favorite. It was mine when I was a kid.” I reached into the backseat, offering it to J.J. “Here, honey, you want Cliffy?” He took it eagerly and hugged it tightly to his chest. I smiled and finished buckling him in. After a few more moments, I made it into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “Where to?” I asked.



“Um… Baker Street near Owens.”



“Really?” I asked. “That’s over by our apartment. We live in Palo Verde Heights.”



Tara’s jaw nearly dropped. “So do I.”



“Building 6 number 2145,” I related our address.



“Building 8 number 1162,” said Tara.



“And you thought you were an inconvenience,” I playfully scoffed.



“I guess not.”



I pulled out of the parking lot, marveling at the coincidence of it all. We chatted on the way home about this and that. She asked me if I was married and I tried to stifle my laughter at the idea. I pointed out the bracelet on my wrist, a simple band with a pewter pride triangle in the center. I couldn’t help but notice her smile at the realization that we had yet another thing in common. I asked her where she had worked before and she said that she had been working in a group home for disabled adults when she realized that she really wanted to work with children instead, which was why she was now at Easter Seals.



When we got to the apartment complex, I pulled up to her building to let her out.



“You could have parked by your place,” she said, climbing out from her seat, “after all, we’re only two buildings apart.”



“I’m not staying,” I explained, “I have school tonight, so my mom always watches Joshua.”



“Where does your mom live?” she asked.



“Across town,” I replied guiltily.



“See, I was an inconvenience,” she sighed.



“No! No, not at all,” I said hastily. “I usually have to come home to grab some books anyway. It’s fine.” That was a lie. I always packed my books with me in the morning on days that I had school. But I couldn’t have Tara beating herself up over my giving her a ride. “Besides,” I said a second later, “I enjoyed the company.”



“Me too,” she smiled after a moment. She leaned down into doorframe to look at me. “You know, if you want, on nights that you have school, I could keep on eye on Josh for you. That way you wouldn’t have to drive all over town.”



“I’d like that,” I said, my insides secretly jumping for joy. “But only if you let me drive you to and from work everyday so that you don’t have to take the bus.”



“I’d say that’s more than a fair trade for baby-sitting,” she surmised with a grin, extending her hand, “It’s a deal.” I took her hand and we shook on it. “When do I start?”



“Thursday. My mom is expecting him tonight,” I answered by way of explanation.



“Thursday it is. I’ll see you in the morning?”



“What time do you have to be there?”



“Eight-thirty.”



“That’s perfect,” I agreed, “that’s the time I normally drop off J.J. anyway.” I dropped the car in to gear. “See you,” I said, with a wave.



“See you,” she waved back.



I pulled out of the apartment complex, watching Tara in my rearview mirror. I then turned my attention to my son, still in his car seat. “Joshua, do you think Mommy likes Miss Tara?” J.J. clapped his hands again and gave his head one giant nod. “You are a very smart boy,” I commended him, turning my eyes once again to the road ahead.



*****

TBC...

"Promise me you'll never be linear." "On my trout."

Edited by: DarkWiccan at: 4/13/04 10:21 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Update: 4/13/04
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:13 am 
*sigh* Im falling in love...with this Fic!!! Its so frikin adorable!!! And wow they live so close together, i guess that means they will be seeing more of each other eh? Anyways, an awesome update, cant wait for the next one!!

:bounce :pinky :p inky:bounce



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 Post subject: Cute lil fic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:01 am 
Ahhh, this is so cute! Please continue with this fic sooooon!



Gem



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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:10 am 
An interesting AU, with Willow having the added responsibility of Josh. Tara as a childcare worker is totally credible. Sweet story; looking forward to reading more of it.


"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls



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 Post subject: Re: Cute lil fic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:14 am 
I have to agree with what everyone else is saying. This fic is awesome. It's so sweet and adorable.



Josh is such a cutie pie. And Tara is just...sigh.



Anyway, please keep the updates coming.



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 Post subject: Re: Update: 4/13/04
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:50 am 
Very very nice and awesome start. :)



s79

I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.







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 Post subject: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:56 am 
Okay...wow...Lotsa posts....So, I am going to do a little consolidation here... lumping similar responses together and then taking the specific posts and answering those individually... hope you don't mind...



WiccanSpud, Diebrock, SnuggleVixen, TarasShadow, justkazy, Applesaucehorsies, WillowPowered, Miss1234Kitty, Marilda, and snuggle79 -- Thank you and I hope that you continue to enjoy!!



serendipitous -- Thank you for de-lurking to post in my thread! I'm glad that I am able to write something that you can relate to and hopefully enjoy!



TemperedCynic -- I have never been one to shy away from the toughies...in fact, I thrive on the challenge. I work with Special Needs individuals that they are such a joy to my heart, that I had to create a story for them.



Puff -- I'm glad that you like the first person format. It's not an approach that I take often, but it just felt so right for this particular story. Thanks!



Oracle of Magic -- Hourly?!! Geeez... not trying to put the pressure on me or anything....;)



shuyaku -- Sometimes I feel that the reason certain children are so "special" is because they have so much love inside of them to share, a (what we consider to be) normal body or mind just can't handle it... so whatever power is in the sky has made these people "special" to share with us all of this amazing and unconditional love.



Tiggrscorpio -- The constant undercurrent to this story is unconditional love. I'm glad that you and so many other readers have already tapped into this aspect of it.



Quirky Canadian -- Yes, them living so close together means they will be spending alot of time around each other. Especially now that Tara has agreed to watch over Joshua in the evenings.



mollyig -- I've always felt that the character of Tara would be perfect working with special needs folks. And now I get to prove it! :)



Cheers!

DW:pride







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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:10 pm 
I'm not surprised at the emotional depth and sensitivity of this newest work. It's DW's trademark. Good stuff, you always have me longing for more.


Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.



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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:28 pm 
Wow..this is so amazing..I loved it so much. Joshua sounds really cute and so lovely :love Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)



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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:32 pm 
Oh WOW!!!

It´s such an emotional and deep work.



*lil´c*

"Okay, we’re here, we’re queer, let’s kick this shit into gear," Five by Five (Taras Shadow)



SweetAmber



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 Post subject: .....
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 1:53 pm 
DW, you've gone and done it. You've made me cry!! *happy tears* This is just too sweet for words, and I can picture it so vividly in my head. I have fallen extremely hard for this fic; it's adorable!!! *discreetly tries to grab a tissue..* :happycry



-AH

Et je saigne encore, tout ce rouge sur mon corps, je te blesse dans un dernier effort



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 Post subject: Re: Update: 4/14/04
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 2:07 pm 
Great update! I love the interaction between Tara, Willow and Joshua.



*lil´c*

"Okay, we’re here, we’re queer, let’s kick this shit into gear," Five by Five (Taras Shadow)



SweetAmber



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 Post subject: Update: 4/14/04
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 2:56 pm 
Don't worry everyone, I am working on an update to HRTM as we speak... but in the mean time, here's a little something "Special" to hold you over



_______________________________________________



Just like any parent with their child, you have good mornings and rough mornings. It just so happened that Thursday morning, was a rough one. Joshua woke up in a cranky and uncooperative mood. He kept squealing and struggling to get away every time I tried to get him ready to go to daycare. Just because he was nonverbal, didn’t mean he was mute. It just meant that he wasn’t yet capable of utilizing language as a form of communication.



By the time I had him dressed, had gotten him to eat a little and finally out the door, Tara was already waiting by my car, ready to go.



“Eee…Eee…Eee…Eee,” Joshua rhythmically protested in a loud and nasal voice as he pushed against my shoulder trying to get out of my arms.



“Sorry,” I apologized, trying to talk over him. “We’re having a bad morning.”



“It’s okay,” answered Tara. “Do you need any help?”



“Yeah,” I sighed, growing exasperated at J.J.’s continued struggling. “My keys are in my right pocket, would you mind pulling them out and opening the car?”



“Sure,” she agreed readily, walking around to my side and reaching into my pants pocket.



“EEE!...EEE!...EEE!...EEE!” Joshua increased the volume of his cries.



“J.J….sweetie…calm down…please,” I urged him, “sh…sh… it’s okay…we’re going to your favorite place. Easter Seals, honey…don’t you want to play today?” I was too distracted trying to calm my son down to even begin to enjoy the closeness of Tara to me, the feeling of her hand inside my pocket, brushing over my thigh as she retrieved my keys.



She swiftly unlocked the car and opened the back door so that I could slide Joshua inside and into his car seat. Once sitting, he began rocking forcibly back and forth, making it difficult for me to buckle him in. “Oh, Joshua, c’mon,” I groaned, trying to keep him still. I felt the car shake and looked up to Tara coming through the door on the other side so that now all three of us took up the back seat. She gently laid a hand against his sternum and pushed him back up against his seat.



“EEE!”, he cried out, not happy with being restrained.



“Hey, now handsome,” she smiled, talking to him as I quickly did up the buckles, “you might want to calm down so that you can look good for your girlfriend today.”



“EEE!”



“You don’t want her to see you acting this way, do you?”



Josh looked ready to let out another wail, when he suddenly seemed to stop and consider Tara’s words. He stopped his chanting and his rocking eased up a bit to be less violent then when he had started out.



“I didn’t think so,” she grinned, and lifted her hand from his chest to touch her finger to his nose. He seemed to ignore her, caught up in his now mild back and forth movements, held in by the straps of his car seat.



She and I both eased out of the backseat and moved to the front of the car. I turned the engine over with a twist of the key and looked at her quizzically, “Girlfriend?”



Tara chuckled and turned her gaze to me, “I noticed yesterday that he and Janine, the little four year old girl with downs, seemed to play a lot together. I think they favor each other.”



I laughed and put the car into gear, pulling out of the apartment complex. “I’ve always said my son was a lady-killer,” I joked.



“He is,” Tara agreed, “I fell in love with him yesterday the first second I saw you walk in with him.” I felt myself blush a little at the compliment. “He’s precious,” she continued on.



“Yeah well… this morning ‘precious’ isn’t exactly the description I would have given him,” I stated wryly, glancing at his reflection in my rearview; he continued to rock in his seat, but at least he had quieted down.



“It must be difficult being a single parent so young,” she empathized.



“It can be,” I admitted, “but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”



“I understand,” she smiled. “He is a beautiful little boy.”



“Thank you,” I blushed again.



“Of course, it’s easy to see where he gets his looks,” she added, gazing at me intently. If my face had flushed any redder it would have been the color of my hair. It took a great deal of self-control not to give into my giddiness at her flirtation. I was beyond pleased to know that she was interested in me.



“Thanks,” I finally managed. “You’re not too hard on the eyes yourself,” I stated boldly. I smiled when I saw the tables had been turned as her cheeks turned slightly pink.



“Thanks,” she shyly replied, ducking her head a little. “So, you have school tonight, right?”



“Yes.”



“What are you studying?”



I went on to explain that I was pursuing my Bachelor’s of Science in Information Technology/Software Engineering. She was suitably impressed, making a comment about how I must be really smart. I told her not really, that I had always had a knack for computers and that it was a field that tended to help you earn a lot of money, which was necessary when having to raise a baby, especially a special needs baby, on your own. She nodded that she understood and could sympathize; she and her brother had been raised by her mom after her parents had gotten divorced when she was ten.



We kept on talking about children and raising them. Tara asked me if J.J. had any specific behavior issues, sighting that his behavior that morning seemed more like a normal tantrum than a regular thing. I agreed that she was right, and explained that Josh hadn’t seemed to have developed any significant behaviors yet, and I hoped to try and keep it that way. She mentioned looking into Positive Behavior Supports, and I agreed that it was something I was planning on taking some training in. After a while she fell silent, and I could tell she was trying to find a way to broach a sensitive subject.



“What?” I asked, trying to prod her.



“I was just curious… and you so don’t have to answer this question if you don’t want to,” she pre-empted, “but…is his father involved at all? Do you not get child support?”



“No, his father hasn’t been involved since before he was born,” I answered freely, going on to tell her the rest of the story. She listened intently and by the time I had finished we were pulling into the parking lot at Easter Seals. I brought the car to a stop and we both stepped out onto the asphalt. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and waited patiently while I pulled Joshua out of his car seat. He had calmed down considerably during the drive and was now just as meek and pleasant as ever.



I walked him over to where Tara stood and she took his free hand, and we entered the building as we had left it the night before, the three of us in a row, holding hands.



Once inside I kissed Josh goodbye and wished Tara luck with her day, affirming that I would be back at four-thirty to pick them both up. I watched her lead J.J. again toward the back room, and once they were out of sight, I turned to go.



I rushed to work, hoping to find my desk swamped with assignments. The more assignments there were, the faster the day would seem to go and the sooner I could get back to Easter Seals to pick up my son and his beautiful new babysitter.



*****

TBC...



Edited by: DarkWiccan at: 4/14/04 9:57 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:34 pm 
Great updates! Can't wait to see where you take this.



I've really fallen in love with your characters already. Tara's character never fails to remind me that angels do indeed walk among us, and this fic is no exception. So many directions this could go, all of them heart-melting!



It's somehow oddly credible that Willow would become pregnant the first (and only) time she was with a guy...sort of overachieving on a colossal scale. Probably just my twisted imagination, though.



Twisted imagination aside, I really look forward to reading more of this in future. The premise is great, and I love your style of writing.



:applause :applause



mo.

No matter how short life may seem, it's still the longest thing you'll ever do.

Edited by: Modjadji at: 4/14/04 2:42 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:53 pm 
Well, 'Special' doesn't even begin to describe this story. Your writing never ceases to amaze me, and I really like the 1st person perspective. It's refreshing and so much more deeper in one way - in Willow's way :) - while Tara, as wonderful as she is, remains a bit of a mystery.



The analogy of Joshua The Adorable serving as a conduit between the two women was clever, because without him, would they really have met?

--------------------------

Tinna Karen

-tölvunörd í fyrsta ættlið



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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:21 pm 
DW, You continue to outdo yourself. The two updates are amazing. I have fallen in love with this story, and with little J.J. The way you write him I can just picture Willow holding him. And tara taking care of him, wonderful. As someone else said earlier of this fic. "Special" doesn't begin to describe it. I can't wait to see where you take it from here.



Blessed Be,

Sarah



PS: I meant I would be checking the board every few hours, to make sure I didn't miss a post. Not that you should update hourly. Though now that I think about it..... ;)



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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:38 pm 
I really enjoyed catching up with this story today, I am totally loving the first person perspective and I think you write it very well. Nice mix of dialogue, action and thoughts. I admit to thinking naughty thought when Tara stuck her hand in Willow's pocket to get the keys :grin This is such a wonderful story and I am having a great time reading it. Thank you DW.



So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson



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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 10:58 pm 
I was quite happy to see an update on your lovely story right after waking up and checking the board. :D

Great update! I loved the little flirting between our girls. :)



s79

I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.







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 Post subject: Re: Replies!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 12:44 am 
Although they've just met, there seems to be an easiness to how they interact. Tara didn't stem her curiosity about Josh's father, which shows that she is comfortable talking to Willow.



Nice update. Thanks.


"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls



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 Post subject: Replies
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 10:31 am 
Replies:



Keili -- Girl, you are just too sweet for words. Thank you! I'm all with the blushing now :blush Who knew I had a trademark? Wow, I have a trademark... neat :D



sam darls -- Thank you :) Yes, Joshua is a sweetheart, but he can be ahandful sometimes... just like any baby.



littlecrazy80 -- Thank you :) They all get along very well... sometimes you meet someone and things just *click*. It's such a relief when they do.



Applesaucehorsies -- I'd be lying if I said I was sorry for illiciting from you such a strong emotional response... thank you... and I am glad they were happy tears!



Modjadji -- Yes, Tara is the eternal sweetheart... well... at least in *most* of my fics she is... in HRTM she is more than a little confused, poor thing... but in fic she is once again a glowing example of understanding and patience... but I think that Willow is also an example of that in this story as well. And yes, Will has always been about the overachieving... and I would have to agree with you again that it does make sense in a strange way that she would find herself pregnant after such a fleeting and pointless affair. Of course, in the long run... I think Willow is better for it, having been left with such a joy as Joshua in her life.



tinnakaren -- You're right, without Joshua, our two girls would probably not have met... at least not in this storyline at any rate. :)



Oracle of Magic -- Thank you... and I can't guarantee hourly updates... especially with this being a short fic...I was hoping to drag out the updates a little so that my readers could...savor... it ;)



Puff -- Thanks. I'm glad you like the first person. As I have said before... it's not usual for me to write from this perspective so it is a nice exercise. I'm actually glad you had a naughty thought about Tara reaching into Willow's pocket. That's exactly what Willow wanted to have... but couldn't because she was dealing with her son at the moment. So really, you had it for her. I'm sure she appreciates it :D



snuggle79 -- I enjoy writing flirtation... it's fun and always gives me a grin. The tricky part is not letting it get too out of hand... which can happen if you don't pay attention.



mollyig -- There is very much an easiness between them. I feel this is largely due to Willow not feeling like she has to "come out" as having a small child... and a special needs child at that... to a prospective suitor (ie Tara). Plus Willow has the bonus of knowing that Tara is enamored of young J.J. and, even better, she is capable of caring for him and understanding his needs and moods and their underlying causes.



Cheers!

DW :pride



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