You know the drill I don't own them no matter how much I wish.

Forget And Be Free

By Hawk



It was late but Tara knew the spell had to be preformed in the darkness of night and she had to wait for Buffy to get back from patrol. She knew if anyone found out what she was about to do they wound try to stop her, and she couldn’t let that happen. She had found a way to save Willow from the mess that she had gotten herself into. Before yesterday she thought she wouldn’t have to use this spell but now it was her only chance.



She had given Dawn the note for Buffy knowing that the younger Summer’s sister would be fast asleep before Buffy got home. In the note Tara had explain everything that she had done so when she talked to Willow the next morning she could do damage control.



Looking up at the full moon she took a deep breath she started chanting in a low voice. Closer her eyes she didn’t see the house start to change color focusing on the room that use to be hers and Willows. At the end of the spell a bolt of energy surged through the house and shot into Tara. She fell to the ground gasping for breath as unbearable pain overwhelmed her.



Tara had to use all of her willpower to stand up and start walking back to her apartment. The sun wouldn’t rise for three hours so she knew that there were vampires still out and about but she didn’t notice. And if they saw her they were smart enough to leave her alone. Anyone that looked at her wound just see another junkie, but the creatures of the night could sense the dark power that infested her aura. Soon she made it to her apartment and fell into her bed trying to ignore the power wanting to be used.



The next morning came and Willow woke up with a smile on her face. She looked around her room and noticed that anything that was related to magic had been removed from her room. She didn’t understand what was going on since they were there the night before. Getting out of bed Willow quickly got dressed and headed down the stairs. Looking around the rest of the rooms she noticed that everything that had any reference to magic had been removed down here as well.



“Willow? Are you down stairs?” Buffy’s voice came from upstairs.



“Yes, but I think we’ve been robbed!” she answered back.



Buffy and Dawn ran down the stairs after hearing what Willow had said and started looking around the rooms. They turned back to Willow with a confused look. “What are you talking about Willow everything is how it was last night.” Dawn said a little upset for being tricked like this.



“What do you mean that nothing is messing? What happened to all my stuff? Some of the herbs I kept in that cabinet over there were really expensive.” She looked at her friends and wanted to scream. “Hello, what is wrong with you? All my magic stuff is gone.”



“Of course it is. We threw it out last week, like you asked.” Buffy said slowly.



“Why would I ever ask you to do something like that?” Willow asked thinking that her friends had lost their minds.



Dawn looked between the two with a sickening felling that something was wrong and she had a good idea that it had something to do with magic. “Well after Tara left…”



“Who is Tara?” Willow interrupted.



The entire room was silent. Was she playing some kind of trick on them? Buffy looked at Willow and noticed that she wasn’t shaking and for the most part wasn’t being depressed like she had been for the last three weeks. Dawn ran up the stairs when she remembers the letter that Tara had written for Buffy.



She heard Buffy and Willow continue to argue when found the letter and ran down the stairs. “Here,” she said to Buffy and gave her the note.



Buffy looked at her for a moment about to ask her sister what was going on when she saw Tara’s handwriting.



Buffy I know you aren’t going to like what I have done but there was no other choice. Willow was going to last any longer with the black magic that was flowing through her system. When I came to her the other night I could see that she was breaking so I preformed a spell.



Yes I know that might make me a hierocrat but I couldn’t see her go through all that pain anymore. I transferred her addiction into my body so that she is now free of it.



The only problem was that Willow would have been able to live with the guilt of seeing me go through the pain that she thinks should be hers so I added another part of the spell. She won’t remember anything about doing Black Magic and she won’t remember me. You have to keep her away from me because if she sees me again then that part of the spell will be broken.



I would rather never see Willow again and have her be healthy and happy then have her remember me and live in agony. I will love her the rest of my life.



Tara



“We have to get to the Magic Box right now!” Buffy almost yelled as she moved towards the door. Willow and Dawn followed out of habit, but Dawn was able to grab the letter from her hand. She read it quickly and felt another part of her world fall apart.



It only took five minutes to get to the Magic Box with the grueling pass that Buffy had set. When she got inside she went quickly to action. “Willow I want you to look up anything and everything you can find on Spell reversal. And I mean everything.” Willow nodded even though she didn’t understand what was going on. Anya and Xander looked over at Buffy waiting for her to explain, but instead she just handed them the note and put her hands to her lips so that they would be quiet.



Anya’s face paled when she finished the note. She had only heard of the spell being used once and it didn’t end up pretty. The spell caster ended up becoming a leader of the dark arts and the other was soon killed going up against her love. She didn’t think that Tara would be able to hand the power that was flowing through her right now. Willow had been using black magic for months and her body and gotten accustom to having it in her system, but Tara hadn’t done anything close to the stuff Willow had. “We have to find Tara. If her body isn’t handling this new power then we could be in trouble.”



“My thoughts exactly. Do you guys know where she lives? I haven’t been there yet.” Buffy felt a little bad for not being there for the blond witch but she had been wrapped up in her own problems lately.



Xander and Anya frowned. “We don’t know where she lives. She wouldn’t let us help her move in. Something about not wanting to put us in the middle of all this.” Xander said looking down at his feet.



“I know where she lives.” Dawn said in a quiet voice. “I can show you where.”





Part Two

It had been agreed upon that Dawn would take Buffy and Anya over to Tara’s apartment while Xander stayed to keep an eye on Willow. The closer they came to Tara’s place the worse Buffy felt. When Tara moved out Buffy thought she would have moved back into the dorms, but Dawn headed in the opposite direction. They were heading to the bad part of town.



On the way Dawn explained to them Tara’s new living conditions or at least what Tara had told her. Tara had received scholarships that paid for all of her schooling but her father agreed to pay for her living fees as well as a monthly allowance. When they had their falling out last year he stopped paying. It hadn’t been a big deal because at that point she was living with Willow so the monthly allowance that her father still sent (even Tara didn’t understand that part) was enough to handle most of it. Then with the whole Glory things she lost her scholarships because of her decline in grades. Tara was able to get most of them back after explaining that she had had a mental breakdown. But they would only pay for her schooling and not living so when she moved out she only had a little money. Tara now had a part time job, but didn’t tell Dawn where.



“I wish she would have told me. I would have hired her… I mean work has been very stressful. I could have used help that knew what they were talking about,” Anya said trying to hide her concern.



Buffy wished Dawn had told them about this earlier but she had a feeling that Tara asked her not too. Finally they reached the apartment complex and Buffy paled as she realized that this was the same motel Faith had been living in.



“It’s room twelve.” Dawn said as she walked over towards the room. Buffy sent out a silent thanks that it wasn’t the same room that would have been too much of a coincidence even for Sunnydale.



They knocked on the door but no one answer so they decided to try the handle and were surprised to find that it was open. Tara had always been the one to make sure all the doors were locked when she lived at the Summer’s home. The room had she same horrible wallpaper that Buffy remembered though Tara had put up some decorations to make the place more her own. A chair was knocked over and the door to the bedroom was slightly a jarred.



“Tara?” Buffy called out but didn’t get an answer.



They slowly walked over to the bedroom and opened the door. Tara sat crossed legged facing in them with her eyes open, but she was looking off into space. The bed was a complete mess. There was blood on the pillow and by looking at Tara’s face they could tell that it came from her mouth. They inched into the room not sure what was going on.



“Tara are you okay?” Buffy asked quietly. When she didn’t answer Buffy turned to Anya. “Is she still doing the spell?”



“No, the spell would have only taken a few minutes to complete. I think she is meditating. If she did perform the spell then it might be the only way for her to deal with the pain that she is feeling, but I’m not sure.” Anya answered.



Dawn moved closer. “Tara please wake up.”



Her voice was soft but in whatever state Tara was in she could hear the pleading in her voice and had to oblige. Slowly her eyes started to focus on a spot and her breathing started to change from her rhythmic pattern. Her soft blue eyes turned from a peaceful distant look to a pained one. As her mind started to register the pull in her body once again. She took a sharp breath and started clenching her teeth.



“Are you okay?” Dawn almost cried as she watched the transformation. She was mental slapping herself for bring Tara out of whatever she was in.



Taking one last deep breath, Tara was able to control the dark magic that was in her for a moment. “I’m fine Dawnie. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she answered with the kindness in her voice that even now didn’t seem to falter.



“I don’t think you are doing alright Tara. Even if we weren’t talking about the spell, you should have told us about the new living conditions.” Buffy said unable to accept what Tara had been doing to herself. They were her friends. They could have done something to help.



Tara gave her a small smile, but just as quickly as it had appeared it disappeared. She hunched over at the pain overtook her once again. All three of her friends were desperately trying to hold her up as she gasped for air that didn’t seem to want to come. Buffy didn’t understand why this was so bad. Yeah Willow tossed and turned at gasped but within Tara it seemed to have doubled. It was the first time that she had seen true pain on the blonde’s face and it was heartbreaking.



After a moment, Tara’s breathing started to stabilize and she looked up at her friends with a tired eyes. “I need a favor.”



“Anything,” all three said at the same time.



“Someone has to drive me to my aunts ranch. It’s about an hour drive from here. She will be able to help me get over the addiction. I need to get there as soon as possible.” Tara’s voice was starting to waver by the end and they could see that it was taking most of her strange to concentrate.



“No problem,” Anya said, “Xander and I can drive you up just as soon as I get the car from the Magic Box.” Tara smiled at her and with the help of Buffy moved over to the bed to lie down.



Buffy moved away from her and said, “Okay, Dawn and I will stay in Sunnydale to look after Willow while you and Xander take Tara to her aunt’s place. After you get there try to get some answer out of her aunt so that we can fix this.”



Buffy and Dawn ran back to the Magic Box getting there quicker then either would have believed. Maybe when those monks had made Dawn they put a little bit of Slayer speed in her because she was able to keep up with Buffy and a one point almost passes her. Anya had stayed behind to be with Tara since Xander knew how to get her. Buffy was grateful that Anya didn’t ask her how he knew. She didn’t want to tell Anya about Xander’s night at that motel with Faith, it still gave her the creeps.



The rushed into the Magic Box and Xander was on them in a moment. “Where is Anya?” He didn’t like the idea of his fiancé being anywhere alone.



“She is with Tara.” Buffy looked around and didn’t see Willow so she continued. “I need you to head over to Sunnydale Motel and pick them up. Tara needs to be taking to her aunt’s place.”



Xander only nodded and ran out the door. He didn’t need to know much the tone in Buffy’s voice was enough to tell him that things were bad.



Willow walked in as Xander ran out the door. “Where is he going? Did you find anything out?”



“He had to take care of an errand for me. He should be gone for a couple hours. Did you find out anything?” Buffy asked trying to change the subject as quickly as possible. She didn’t know how they were going to deal with Willow lack of memory, but she couldn’t deal with that until she made sure that Tara was all right.



Willow could tell that Buffy was hiding something and whatever it was Willow didn’t think that she would like it, but for the time she would let them all keep there little secrets. She looked over at Dawn and saw that she was about to cry. Whatever it was it wasn’t going to be pretty. “Nothing yet, but I’m still looking,” she answered and turned back to look at her books.



Outside a figure stalked the Magic Box. “Soon you will be mine again, Strawberry. The dark magic I have giving you will pull you back to me and if you are strong enough to fight it I will come to you.” Rack moved away from the store and teleported back to his place. He would let her feel the pain of withdrawal a little longer while he had some fun with Amy.



Xander had just reached the motel when he saw Anya practically carrying Tara out of what he guessed was her room. She looked paler then usual and could barely focus her eyes. He jumped out of the car to help Anya. After a five minute battle they were finally able to get Tara in the car and get on the road. Anya told him that Tara was barely able to write the direction down before another attack hit her.



He looked back at her and watched her for a moment in what Anya called her trance phase. As long as she stayed in that state she was able to keep the pain at bay. Xander knew that this was going to be a long drive and just hoped that they would get there soon. Long ago he had learned to follow the speeding laws but this one time he was making an exception.



Anya moved in closer needing to feel him next to her. She hated to see any of her friends in pain, but Tara was the nicest of all of them. They had talk a lot during the meeting since they were both considered the ‘wives’ of the group. Tara didn’t deserve this but out of all of them she would have been the one to do it without anyone finding out first. She wanted to scream and yell but just ended up crying silently.



Forty-five minutes past and Xander was driving into a large ranch. He had heard of this place before. It was where most of the kids would have birthday parties and ride ponies, but after Willow’s horse ordeal happened he never found anyone that would go this far out of their way to do something with him. A woman looked about forty was stand at the front door and when she saw his car ran towards them.



“Oh my god, Tara!” she screamed as the car stopped.



Tara came out of the trance as she heard her aunt’s voice. The pain hit her and she couldn’t speak for a moment but she looked up at her with anguished eyes. Finally her voice returned. “Aunt Hazel. I need your help!” her voice died again.



“Your safe baby. I will not let this take you,” she answered. Tara fainted and Hazel checked her pulse relieved that it was still there. She turned to Xander. “Would you please carry her up to her room?”



He only nodded. He moved to pick her up and headed into the house. When he was far enough away she mumbled, “I thought she had gotten over this. I didn’t let it take her the first time and will be damned it I let it take her again.” Anya stared at her in shock. What did she mean first time?



TBC…





Part Three

Willow was still looking through various books at least to an untrained eye. In reality she was watching the two Summer girls, the two were passing around the Magic Box like caged animals. Willow had already gone over any spells that someone could have preformed on her friends and still nothing. Something was wrong with them and she was going to find out what it was.



The phone rang. Buffy ran to get it. “Hello?” … “Yes, I know that I should answer your phone by saying This is the Magic Box here to serve your magic needs how may I help you?” … “Good you got there alright. When will you be getting back?” … “No, find out all you can everything is fine here.” … “Bye.” Buffy hung up the phone and smiled at Dawn, who for the first time in an hour started to relax.



Willow slammed her book closed causing both Dawn and Buffy to jump. She was going to be sneaky and patient silently being research girl but these secrets phone calls and hidden looks were driving her insane. She was Knowledge girl in the group so keeping things from her was just plain cruel. “I have a couple questions and I think its time that you answer them.”



Buffy looked over at Dawn with an unsure look on her face. She was trying to decide what reaction denying Willow would give, ever since Tara erased parts of her memory they didn’t know how different she would react. “Okay Will, shoot.”



“Where did Xander and Anya go?” she asked keeping her face even.



Buffy looked back at Dawn before answering, “At a ranch about an hour outside of town.” Willow just looked at her expecting her to elaborate. “They were taking a friend out to her aunt’s ranch.”



“And this was some big secret, why? Never mind. Now the main question that I have is, who is Tara?” Willow crossed her arms putting on her patented resolved face.



“Don’t be a stupid git. I know its been a couple days since you’ve seen your bird but forgetting her all together seems kind of harsh,” Spike said coming in from the training room. Buffy know remembered why she had to put a lock on that door leading to the sewer.



As Willow looked around wildly trying to figure out what the hell Spike was saying. Buffy rushed over to Spike pushing him out of earshot. That left poor Dawnie alone with a very confused and even more determined redhead. “Dawnie, what the hell was Spike talking about because I only know two different meaning for bird. I have a feeling I didn’t forget about having any pets.”



“Ummm,” Dawn desperately looked towards the training room. “Well, I think that we should wait until Buffy gets back with Spike. You know how teenagers always seem to mess things up.” Dawn nodded her head vigorously.



Willow moved towards Dawn and with every step she took Dawn mimicked it trying to keep what distance there was between them intact. This continued until Dawn felt a wall at her back and had no where left to run and all she could do was silently pray that Buffy would speed up her ritual beating of Spike and save her. “Now Dawnie, I’m only going to ask this one more time; who is Tara?”



“Your exgirlfrind.” Dawn said so softly that it took a moment for her words to register and then even longer for her to even comprehend the implications of that had just be stated.



Her eyes unfocused as she walked away from Dawn towards the table. Sitting down her mind started to word in overdrive. Girlfriend? That couldn’t be right, she had always liked guys. For ten years she had been madly in love with Xander and then after that she dated Oz for two years. Never once had she looked at another girl that way so this had to be some sick joke that they were playing on her. Then another piece fell into place, Dawn had said ex-girlfriend as in no longer. Did this Tara leave her like Oz had or was it her choice this time? No this wasn’t possible. There had to be a better answer.



Buffy walked into the room finally get rid of Spike and Willow turned to look at her. “Buffy, I like girls?” her voice was that of a small child who had just been told that Santa wasn’t really. Well that is what they would have sounded life if they weren’t Jewish.



“What?” Buffy turned to look at Dawn. “You told her? What were you thinking Dawn?”



“It wasn’t my fault. Spike was the one that spilled the beans and then you left me alone with her. The next thing I know she had me pinned against the wall. What was I supposed to do?” Dawn tried to defend herself.



“It can’t be true,” was all that Willow could say.



Looking back at her best friend she sighed. Well now that the cat was out of the bag there was nothing she could do about it. Walking over she knelt so that she was eye level with Willow. “Its true Will. You and Tara dated for almost a year and a half.”



“I… I don’t believe it. If doesn’t make any sense. If it was true then why don’t I remember any of this?” Willow shook her head still trying to comprehend everything that they were saying.



Suddenly an idea hit Dawn. Willow wasn’t going to believe anything that they were saying without proof and she had it. Last week her teacher had assigned the class to make a family collage and Dawn had asked to change it a little. Dawn had explained how with the passing of her mother that her sister and her friends had become her true family and so she was allowed to use picture of the Scoobies as well as her bother and Buffy. She had been working on the project at the Magic Box so Willow wouldn’t find all the pictures of her and Tara together. She ran into the training room and grabbed a stack of five books.



“Dawn, why did you bring all out photo albums to the Magic Box?” Buffy asked once again surprised by everything her sister did.



Dawn gave a ninety-watt smile. “Remember that Family collage that I have to make for school?” Buffy nodded. “Well my teacher agreed that I could count the Scoobies as part of my family so…” She dropped the books in front of Willow.



Skeptically Willow took the first book and opened it. Inside were pictures of their first year in college, so there were still images of her and Oz. Slowly she turned the pages and smiled at the memorizes that came to mind. Gradually the images of Oz started to disappear and there were images of Willow by herself depicting a sad part of her life. At the end of the book nothing seemed to change with the exception that she was smiling more.



“Dawn that didn’t exactly help.” Buffy said as they closed it and moved it out of the way.



“Sorry I didn’t have it in any order.” Dawn said rolling her eyes at her sister.



Willow moved on to the next one that but stopped when Buffy let out a yelp of surprise and grabbed for the scrapbook. She was too late as Willow saw her in her Flashdance outfit and to make it worse the photo was taken when she was reenacting the routine form the movie. “If you even think about showing this picture to anyone then I will let the next demon attacking us have a free swing at you.” She grabbed the book and ran off to hide it.



Willow and Dawn laughed as she ran off, then Dawn looked through the books until she found what she was looking for. Placing it down in front of Willow she pointed to a picture of a very shy looking blond. She was looking up at the camera trying to hide herself behind her bangs. Willow thought she looked pretty in a shy sort of way, but still didn’t still. Flipping through the pictures she noticed that she started to join the blond in the pictures with the same smile she had at the end of the other photo album. Soon the picture showed them holding hands and in one form or another touching each other. By the time Buffy came back into the room they were looking at pictures from the last three months. In one they camera was even able to capture a picture of the two kissing and the next one was taken a moment later with the two witches blushing.



“I…I still don’t remember. Will you tell me about her?” Willow had gone from not wanting to believe it to feeling like a horrible piece of her heart had been ripped out. She had to know what she was like and why they had broken up. It was as if her heart was demanding that her head remember and if it couldn’t then to at least be told.



“I’ll tell you as much as I can. You kept her a secret for a long time.” Buffy said with a small smile. For the next two hours Buffy and Dawn told Willow everything that they knew about the blond headed witch and Willow tried to memorize every single word.



***



Back at Hazel’s ranch Anya had just finished talking to Buffy when Xander and Hazel were walking down the stairs. “Is she going to be all right?” Anya asked not trying to keep the concern out of her voice.



“Her body is extremely drain but besides that she is fine. I believe you got her here just in time. Thank you.” Hazel said as she sat down with a loud sigh. Xander sat down next to Anya on the couch opposite of Hazel.



“I’m sorry to be so rude about this, but when we came in you said something about this happened again. What was that all about?” Anya asked. She was ready to go into Scooby mode now that she knew that Tara wasn’t going to be at least better here.



Hazel ran her hands through her hair and gave the two a sad smile. “Well this isn’t the first time this has happened. That was how she knew the meditation technique so that the power wouldn’t take her over. I just thought she would have been smart enough not to let this happen again.”



“So she has done this spell before?” Xander was really confused.



Hazel’s eyes widened as something she never thought of came to mind. “Oh my god did anyone get hurt? Please tell me that she didn’t hurt anyone. I don’t think she would be able to live with herself if that happened again.”



Xander and Anya looked at each other completely lost. “What are you talking about? How could anyone get hurt with the spell that she used? Are you saying that she has used black magic before she came to Sunnydale? We have no idea what you are talking about.”



“So are you telling me that Tara wasn’t messing with the dark arts? That doesn’t make any sense she is going through the withdrawal of someone that was using major power and not in the go kind.” Hazed said as she looked at the two people that were sitting across from her. “Maybe you should explain to me what is going on.”



For the next thirty minutes they told her everything that had been going on for the pass six months, including bringing Buffy back for the dead. Hazel couldn’t believe that Tara would allow her lover to do anything at that level. It was hard for Tara’s aunt to handle what Glory had done especially after everything with her father and then when Willow had almost done the same things to her a few weeks ago. She explained how her father had been doing that to her for years and it was one of the main reasons for her breakdown three years ago.



It took a little coaxing but Xander and Anya were able to convince her to tell them what had happened to Tara three years ago…



Tara was a prodigy when it came to magic and her mother nurtured her abilities at the same time that she instill a great respect for the magic that she was able to use. By the age of ten she had almost surpassed even her mother’s ability, but she started to slow her ability so that her mother wouldn’t feel inferior. One of her strongest gifts was empathy. She was able to sense everything around her and tried to compensate for it.



Her mother started to get sick when she was sixteen, but Tara knew about it months before she went to the doctors. She could feel the pain within her mother and started to dabble with more powerful magic. Tara wasn’t going let her mother die if there was anything that she could do to stop it. No longer hiding the abilities that she possessed, Tara started to look into spells that would help her mother.



On Tara’s seventeenth birthday she had found something that might just work but her mother discovered her plans before it was too late. For the first time in Tara’s life, her mother screamed at her demanding that she stop everything that she was doing. Calling her things that Tara had never heard coming from her mother’s mouth. At her mother’s request she dropped everything and three months later she died of cancer. Tara went into a horrible depression.



Two months later her father started up with the whole demon lie. She lashed out at everything she could. Tara felt responsible for her mother’s death because she hadn’t been able to prevent it, and she had promised her mother that she wouldn’t perform the resurrection spell. The buildup of the magic in her system became worse and worse as she started to delve into more powerful and dark things. At one point she change an apartment building into a forest so that she could get away from everything that had been going on in the world.



It got so bad that she preformed a spell and it went wrong. Donnie was in a coma for six weeks and her father sent her up here to go through the withdrawal. It took three months for everything to get out of her system. Then we were able to start retouching her the basics of magic. The problem wasn’t that magic overtook her. It was that she had forgotten the Wiccan reed. Once she was feeling better she headed home but after that the environment at her home changed drastically. If it weren’t for Hazel’s interaction then her father wouldn’t have ever let her go off to college.



Anya and Xander didn’t know what to think. Out of everything they had expected this was definitely not it. They talk for a little while longer but then Xander and Anya had to head back to Sunnydale. They promised that they would call when they had gotten back to check on Tara. Hazel thanked them once again and they left.



***



For the past two hours Buffy and Dawn told Willow everything that they could think off, plus it helped that they had some visual aids as well. It took a while but Willow started to relax and almost except some of the things that her friends were telling her. This Tara seemed like the kindest most gentle woman ever, but they wouldn’t tell her about what happened in the last month.



The bell rang as the door opened and they turned to see a man with long dirty hair walk in. “May I help you?” Buffy asked.



“No but Strawberry can.” Rack said as he moved farther into the room.



“I don’t know any Strawberry, sorry.” Buffy said as she moved away.



Rack didn’t leave as he watched Willow who had gone back to looking at the photo albums. He smiled as she ignored him. “Very good Strawberry, you seem to be able to ignore the pull I have over your magic.”



“What?” Willow said as she finally took a good look at the man. “I’m sorry but I don’t know who you are.”



Rack looked at her very carefully something wasn’t right. “Come here!” he said. Buffy started to move to get in his but she was thrown across the room with a flick of his hand. Dawn was next to get in his way and he throw her into Buffy who was trying to up. “What has happened?”



“I don’t know what you are talking about or even who you are,” Willow said as he was almost on top of her.



He put his hand over her chest and closed his eyes trying to sense the power inside her. He was able to feel what she already had but all the energy he had put inside her was gone. Concentrating he started reading her mind until he got the answers that he was looking for. “So your little Vanilla was hiding some things from you. I can’t wait to meet her,” he said with a small smile and left the Magic Box.



TBC…





Part Four

Buffy was pacing around the Magic Box like a caged animal. She was in the place between enraged and terrified. In a few moments Rack was able to turn a bad situation into one that was even worse. Now Willow knew that Tara had preformed a spell on her and that she had some type of involvement in Black Magic. But the thing that worried her the most was Rack was now going after a weakened Tara. She couldn’t let another one of her friends get hurt no matter what.



She looked over and Dawn and frowned. Ever since Rack had shown up Dawn had just been staring at the clock and every once and a while asking when Xander and Anya would be getting back. Buffy knew that Tara had been able to partly fill that void in her sister’s heart after their mother had died, something that she seemed unable to do. Tara had always been there for her and the rest of the Scoobies, which made it worse that they forgot about her when she broke up with Willow.



Willow now there were some bigger problems. There had to get to Tara as fast as they could to prepare for Rack, but Tara said that she couldn’t see Willow again or her memory would return. The redhead had already made it known that this was some how her fault and so she was at least going to help fix the situation. One of the main things Buffy was trying to hide from her was that Tara was in a lot of pain knowing that she would blame herself.



The door opened and a very tired looking Xander and Anya walked into the store. They looked like they hadn’t slept in days and hadn’t eaten for just about as long. Buffy didn’t want to act like a bitch but they didn’t have time for anything else. “We have to go to Tara’s right now!” she demanded heading towards the door with Dawn and Willow right on her heels.



“What’s going on?” Anya asked as she followed without thinking. Living on the hellmouth makes you ready at any moment.



“Rack is going after Tara.” Dawn’s voice was cold as steel so much so that it almost scared her sister. Rack would have the fight of his life that was for sure.



Xander quickly got back into the driver’s seat and they all headed back to Hazel’s ranch.



For the first ten minutes no one talked each rapped up in there own little worlds until Buffy broke the ice. “So what did you find out?”



“I don’t think you going to like what we found out,” Anya said trying to figure out the best way to say this without getting attacked, but when Buffy just looked at her with an annoyed expression she sighed and continued. “Well the reason she knew how to do that trance thing was because this isn’t her first time dealing with a magic overload in her system. She had a problem about three years ago.”



Buffy froze. No this couldn’t be possible. Tara had always been the responsible one and in control of her magic. “What are you talking about?”



Xander decided that it was once again time for him to be the peacemaker. “It’s true Buffy. When Tara’s mom started to get really sick she got into some major magic and if her mother hadn’t found out about it then who knows if Tara would even be alive today. She even had a resurrection spell on call in case she couldn’t save her mother before the cancer took her. The only reason that she didn’t was her mother made her promise not to ever use it.”



The resurrection spell hit home for the Summers girls. Now they understood why she had reacted so strongly when Dawn wanted to use it, but didn’t explain why she let Willow do the one for to bring Buffy back when that one was more dangerous then the first. “So how big on the magic scale are we talking about?”



“Bigger then me?” Willow asked reminding everyone that she was in the car. She was having a hard time with the idea that she would ever do black magic, but from the looks of it she had.



Anya looked back at Buffy and Dawn who just nodded their heads telling her to keep talking. “Yeah a lot more then you ever had in your system. That is why she thought she could do the spell in the first place. It got so bad that she put Donny in the hospital for a while.”



“Come on are we taking about the same Tara? Tara who wouldn’t hurt a fly to save her life.” Dawn said in a defensive tone. She didn’t like what they were saying and didn’t want to believe that it was possible for the kindhearted woman who had taken care of her for months to do such a thing.



“She was going through a horrible depression. The magic the Tara does now is only a fraction of what she can do. She has learned how to balance all of the power within her. When she was younger she didn’t have as much training as she needed and it caused her to try some things that she shouldn’t have. She was still the kindhearted person that she is today, but with the loss of her mother she also lost her center. That was also part of the reason she started believing that stupid lie her father told her.” Anya tried to explain. She had to make she that Dawn didn’t lose faith in the blond witch, because that would be one of the most important things when it came to getting her back the way that she was.



Buffy sighed knowing that there were so many things now that made this even more complicated, but right now they had to focus. “How bad was she when you left?”



“She passed out when we go there and was still asleep when we left.” Xander said. He started to speed up even more not wanting to give Rack any type of head start. “Her aunt said she should be over it within a few days but she didn’t have any idea that Rack was coming so that might cause some problems.”



For the next thirty minutes they came up with the best course of action. They reached the ranch and jumped out of the car. Hazel was at the door before they reached the porch. “What is wrong?”



“We have a complication.” Anya said.



TBC…



PS. The next installment will be my last for this story so I promise a happy Willow/Tara moment





All right her is the last part of this one. I hope that you like it.

Part Five



Hazel looked at the expressions mirrored on all of their faces and quickly ushered them inside. Tara had written her about the Scoobies as they have named themselves she could pretty easily guess who was who. She had met Xander and Anya already so they weren’t a problem. Looking at Buffy she could feel the power coming off her petite frame, and little Dawn was just as sweet as Tara had described. Finally she turned towards Willow; she had mixed feelings about the redhead. She was the reason Tara was up in her old room fitfully sleeping through the pain racking her body, but she was also the person who bright like back into her niece’s eyes.



“Is Tara still asleep?” Xander asked quietly as of speaking might wake her up.



Smiling she shook her head yes. “The meditation she was using drained her so I don’t think she will wake up for another hour or so.” Everyone nodded in understanding. “So what has happened?”



“Do you remember when we mentioned someone named Rack?” Hazel nodded at Anya’s question. “Well it looks like he showed up today and found out what Tara did. We think that he is coming after Tara.”



Looking at the group in front of her, Hazel took a deep breath. When Tara had overloaded her system three years ago it was all her own power. Most of it was untapped and untrained which was one of the main reasons it had gotten as bad as it had. This Rack person made her sick. He used witches who didn’t completely understand what power they controlled. Now this creature was coming after her niece.



“Aunt!” Tara screamed from upstairs.



Despair was the only way to describe the voice that came form somewhere above them. Hazel quickly ran up the stairs with Buffy quickly at her heels. Everyone else started to head upstairs as well, but Buffy motioned for them to remain downstairs. Willow couldn’t see Tara, at least not until Tara said it was all right, and she didn’t want Dawn to see her if the situation had gotten any worse. Once inside it took all of her slayer strength not to gasp. Tara was pale as a vampire but the biggest change was Tara’s pale blue eyes, not they were pitch black.



Tara had been saying something to her aunt, but when Buffy entered the room she focused her attention on the slayer. “What the hell do you thing you are doing? You brought Willow here when I told you she had to stay away from me. Do you understand that everything I am trying to do could easily be ruined of Willow sees me and goes through a horrible depression that might lead her to use even stronger magic? Do you understand that or are you too blond? I can draw some stick figures if you think that would help.” Tara’s voice was cold void of all the kindness it usually contained.



Buffy didn’t know how to react. Usually when someone got in her face she would just react, but she couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of the blonde’s mouth. “Tara? We didn’t have a choice. Rack showed up and knows what you did. He is coming after you.”



Tara didn’t something that shocked both her aunt and Buffy, she smiled. “Good let him come. I have a couple of issues that I would like to discuss with him. He likes to play with witches and there powers, well he has just bitten off more then he can chew.” She started to say something else but her body froze her jaw clenching. After a moment she looked back up at then and her eyes were pale blue again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say any of those things. Please forgive me?”



Giving a small smile Buffy nodded. Now this was the Tara that they knew and loved. The pain was still in her eyes but she seemed to have more control over it. “No problem, but if I hear anymore blond comments then I’m going to have to kick your butt.” Tara laughed. “And if you even think about telling Dawn any blond remarks then you might as well run for the hills.”



Smiling one last time her face turned serious. “Is she all right?”



“Yeah, really confused but for the most part she is doing all right. Spike showed up and you know him and his big mouth. He let some of it slip and then Willow cornered Dawn when I was busy dealing with him,” Buffy explained. “You know how she gets when there’s a secret to be found.”



“Tara, you should be asleep for at least another hour.” Hazel didn’t mean to interrupt them but the mother side of her won over patience. Tara was like her only daughter since she had never any of her own.



“I felt her the moment she reached the ranch. Whenever she is near my body can feel it.” Tara tried to explain. “My soul is trying to reach out to hers.” She took a deep breath as if vocalizing that need increased the pull it had over her. “Thank you for telling me about Rack, but you have to leave. I can handle him.”



Buffy shook her head no. “We don’t abandon family Tara, and you are an important member of our family.” She paused for a moment debating if she should say this or not but though what the hell since it wouldn’t be the first time she had put her foot in her mouth. “Tara I understand why you did this for Willow but it isn’t working. She already knows that she has been using black magic and that it caused her lover to do something. Now if you let her imagination to go with this then we might have more of a problem then if she remembered it.”



“No I can’t let her remember all the things that she has done. It was the only way that I could keep her safe.” Tara said almost to herself. It was obvious that even Tara wasn’t believing that as much as she use to but once she started this she was going to force herself to finish it.



Hazel looked at her niece closely. Now that she wasn’t passed out or going all scary with the black eyes she had the right to be angry at what she had done. “Tara what the hell are you talking about. You did a spell that could have easily gone wrong and we still don’t know if you are going to fall back into a place that you have been fighting for the last three years. Plus the point of getting the horrible addiction is so that the spell caster learns to respect what they have been able to tap into. By erasing her memory, which I find to be an interesting thing for you to do in relation to this whole situation, you have taken away any chance for her to learn her lesson. You should know better then that.” Hazel didn’t mean to give a speech, but it was one of her flaws, once she got started it was really hard for her to stop.



Buffy watched as Tara started to shrink smaller and smaller as her aunt gave her opinion of this whole situation. She was about to say something but decided to let Hazel finish since she agreed with some of the things that the older woman was saying. “But you don’t understand!” Tara said her voice small.



“Then explain it to me. I would love to hear you reasons,” Hazel said not backing down. She knew her niece to well. Tara might not know that she was a manipulator but with those pouting baby blues she could get off of almost any situation, but not this time.



It took a moment for Tara to say anything. She wasn’t expecting her aunt to act this way. Then it hit her like a ton of brick and instead of holding it in as she had been for the last few months she just let it out. “Fine if you want to know so badly then I’ll tell you. The reason I have done this is because this whole situation is my fault. If I have been a better teacher then she would have never abused what she had been given. When she want to bring Buffy back, which I wanted so much, I should have stood my ground and said no. Willow might have gone through with the spell but at least then she would have seen a negative reaction to using magic long before I finally said something. Who knows if I had done that then we wouldn’t have any reason to deal with Rack in the first place? The reason that she shouldn’t have to learn this lesson is because it wasn’t her fault. Are you happy now?” Tara was breathing really hard but started to control her breathing.



Downstairs the Scoobies had been listening to everything that was going on upstairs. They weren’t trying to ease drop but their voices carried really well. Willow listened very carefully to everything that was being said. She didn’t have any memorize of what had been going on for the last two years but when she heard Tara’s voice she knew that her friends had been telling her the truth. Every syllable that came for this mystery woman’s mouth pulled at her. All she knew was that she wanted to be where that voice was. She heard her pain and it was killing her not to go to it and comfort her. She started to move towards the stairs but Xander blocked her path.



“I don’t think that is a good idea,” he said trying to keep her as far away from Tara but for a reason he never thought possible. He had heard her as well and didn’t like the tone she was using earlier and if the magic was in control of her then he wanted to keep his best friends as far away as he could. He remember the story that Anya had told then earlier.



Willow just looked at him with her resolved face on. “I’m going to go up there Xander. It is your choice if I am going to have to do it the easy way or the hard way. Hazel is right. I have a right to have my say in this matter. Everyone else has been given a say and so I think it is my turn.”



Xander didn’t look happy but he nodded and got out of her way. Willow walked slowly up the stairs just trying to think of what to say. She had so many questions that needed to be answered but part of her was afraid to find out what those answer were.



While she continued she heard the voice finish their conversation. “How could you think that this was your fault? Tara it doesn’t matter if you were teaching her the arts if she didn’t want to learn. For the letters you sent me it always sounded like she just like doing the spells and didn’t want to learn the rules that true wiccans followed. Why do you always blame yourself for things that you have no control over?” Hazel said as Willow reached the door.



Willow knocked and cleared her throat. “May I come in?” She heard the voice on the other side of completely stop. A moment later they started to whisper to one another, but they were to low for her to understand what they were saying.



“Please I need some time to clear my head,” Tara begged. This time her baby blues did the trick and the other two girls cracked.



“There is no way for you to get out of here without her seeing you. Its not like she is going to leave just if we ask her to. Remember this is Willow.” Buffy said keeping her voice down.



Tara just turned to her aunt with pleading look. Hazel rolled her eyes and nodded. “Fine you can do it but if you break your arm again don’t come crying to me, understand?”



Tara nodded and moved over to the window. Opening it she started to climb out. Buffy moved to look at what she was doing. Once she was outside Buffy watched Tara shimmy down a trellis and run off towards the barn. Waiting another moments Buffy moved to the door and let Willow into the room.



Willow slowly walked into the room and then turned to her friend confused. She looked around the room again and then noticed that the window was open. She peered outside just in time to see a figure going into the barn. Turning back to look at Buffy. “I have had enough of this. I recommend that you keep everyone out of the barn until Tara and I have had a little talk.” She didn’t give them time to answer as she stormed out of the room.



She was at the door of the barn a few minutes and her determination that was so abundant a moment ago had completely left her. Inside was supposed to be the love of her life that she supposedly did these horrible things to. Confronting this wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. From what she had been told the moment she sees Tara she will remember all of this so maybe she shouldn’t be scare because then she will know everything and at this point her ability to understand or even think at this point. Right before she opened the door she heard a sound that made her freeze. ‘NEIGH’ Flashback to when she was four years ago hit her. Biting her lip she opened the door and slowly walked in.



The barn was for the most part deserted except in the far back where she could see a pure white horse was happily stood in place as a pale arm calmly brushed his coat. Moving as slow as possible so that the woman in the far stall wouldn’t hear her coming. Gradually the woman started to come in view and the more she saw of her the more she remembered. Memories of all the amazing times that they had over the past year and a half. Willow couldn’t keep from smiling as if a bright shining light had shone down on her and the goddess voice played on the wind saying ‘I give you the gift of pure happiness so enjoy it for the rest of you life’. Why on Earth was she scared or angry again? Then it hit her like a pail of freezing ice water. The fight she had with Tara before Glory mind-sucked her and then Buffy died. Life was destroyed for her and she starting using more and more magic to the point that she couldn’t stop. Then the memory of doing spells on Tara and her living. Then everything with Rack. How could she have ever done any of those things? Why was she so stupid? She had always been a straight A student so why could she have used her amazing intellect to have some god damn common sense.



Tara slowly brushed down the horse taking deep breaths trying to calm the war that was raging in her mind. Willow was somewhere close and part of her needed to be with her so badly, but she was scared at what that would mean. Her nerves were already on end and even brushing Crystal’s coat wasn’t doing enough. The magic was raging inside her. It has been so long since the power was pulling at her like this and she was having a difficult time keeping it under control. Just one little spell and then every thing would be all right.



Willow watched as Tara closed her eyes and her hands stilled from brushing the horse. Guilt was too small a word for what was going through her mind at this moment. Why in the world would Tara ever do something like this? She knew how much pain must have been going through her body right now but she seemed to be as calm as she usually was. Willow was brought out of her own little world when she saw Tara drop her brush. The blonde’s hand was shaking and her eyes were squeezed tight. Looking closer she saw the other girl’s mouth start to mumble words. Willow knew what was going on and her heart stopped once again.



“Don’t you think about it Tara!” Willow almost yelled as she ran over to where Tara was standing.



Tara almost jumped out of her skin and spun around. Of all the people she would have thought Willow was definitely not one of them. For a moment she couldn’t even speak, her mind wouldn’t work. “What? What are you doing…I” Tara’s stutter didn’t come into play but her mouth wouldn’t accept the idea of forming any type of understandable statement.



“What am I doing here? Well right now I am trying to stop you from doing magic because you where a stupid, though lovable, ex-girlfriend that had to take all the pain in a situation and force it upon herself without telling anyone. Then you placed a spell on me so that I would have to feel the deserved guilt of knowing what I have done. And now I am here trying to do something that I couldn’t do for myself, because I do it when I was in the same situation. I know that I am babbling angrily but I still have to get some of this off my chest. How could you do this to me, yes I know I have no right to talk and all that but still? Now Rack knows that you have all of this power that you were hiding from the moment that we met, which I want to talk to you about later. The really point is that Rack is now coming here to get you since you are now fight the addiction of his magic. Now you are looking a little pale so I am going to stop talking now.” Willow was finally winding down and started breathing again.



Tara just watched her for a moment. Three things were fighting for control. One was the fact that Willow was standing right in front of her which she thought would never happened again. Two was the fact that she was still trying to deal with the addiction that was fighting for control every moment she was awake. The final and biggest thing was that Willow was in babble mode, which always left her in a daze. She didn’t know how mad Willow was at her but it was the only thing that she could do. Unsure where the energy came from Tara ran into Willow’s arms holding on for dear life.



Willow felt like she was in heaven with her love in her arms. The logic didn’t make any sense as in how they went from fighting to holding on to each other. She could feel the tension in the blonde’s body and soothingly rocked her back and forth as she whisper sweet words in her ear.



“Oh isn’t this sweet. My two favorites. This might be better then I ever thought. Strawberry and Vanilla together, now that will be a delicately.” Rack said as the two girls turned to look at him.



Back at the house Buffy was pacing the living room. She was doing too much of that lately and it was starting to get on her nerves. What was taking so long? She was expecting some fighting and screaming and then maybe some crying and then the happy reconciliation, but so far nothing. She looked around the room and could tell that everyone was in the same state she was in but didn’t have the slayer energy that she did. After the little talk she had with Tara upstairs she didn’t want Tara to met Rack, and for the first time it wasn’t for what Rack could do to Tara. “Hazel I have a question. What would happen if Rack showed up? Would Tara have any problems if she used that magic against him?”



Everyone turned to look at Buffy never thinking of that. “It depends on what type of magic she uses. If she uses white magic and can control what power she has running through her then we should be fine, but if she starts using black magic then I don’t know what will happen.” Hazel said concern laced in her voice.



“Then lets just hope that we get to him before he gets to Tara.” Buffy said as she began pacing again.



Inside the barn they were at a stand off. Rack was looking the two girls up and down while Willow was trying to help Tara keep in control of the power raging within her. “Well this looks like it is going to be more fun then I ever imagined. I can feel your need from all the way over here. Why don’t you just come over here and stop fighting something that you can never win,” he mocked.



“You are going to leave her alone if you know what’s good for you. I am not going to let you get anywhere near my girl.” Willow almost growled at him.



Rack only smiled as he started to move in on them. But all of the sudden he froze staring wide eyed at Tara. Moving out of Willow’s grasp Rack noticed that her eyes turned completely black and she had a cruel smile on her face. “You should have stopped while you were ahead. I have wanted to do this ever since I heard what you had done with Willow. Now you are going to have to deal with me and I have to say that was probably the worse thing that you ever did.” She moved in closer and without even saying a word Rack flew out of the barn landing on the ground twenty feet away.



The group inside the house ran out hearing the commotion just in time to see Rack land on his back. Tara slowly walked out after him and looked like an animal stalking her prey. This was bad really bad. Buffy watched as Willow ran out trying to catch up with her. It was obvious that the redhead was trying to stop her from doing anything else.



“Tara you have to stop this. Using the magic that he is giving up for this will only make you want to do it even more. Please, baby listen to me,” Willow was begging as she watched Rack getting back up. The man didn’t look as powerful as she had remembered.



Tara ignored Willow’s words and started at Rack again. Within minutes Rack’s body was black and blue with blows coming from nothing. Tara wasn’t trying to just defeat him, she was trying to torture him for all the pain that he had given her and the one’s that she loved. “You will never harm another person in this world. Welcome to the world that you create. You like power well now it is time for you to see what it feels like when it is turned on you.”



She was about to perform the last spell that would end his reign of terror forever, but Willow moved in front of her. “No! You are better then this Tara and you will have to go through me to ruin who you really are. If you need to then I will remind you. Your name is Tara and you have the kindest gentlest soul that I have ever seen. You put everyone above yourself and would do anything if that means that they would be happy. You are the caretaker and the child within our group and we can’t lose that. And if that isn’t enough to convince you then I will tell you what you are to me. Your are my soul mate, my Tara. You are the reason that I am able to breath everyday in this world. When Buffy died you were the one that got me through the nightmares and the sleepless nights. If you hadn’t been with me then I would have easily fallen into despair and most likely death. If I see you become something that you were never meant to be because of me then I would die inside, do you understand that? Tara you’re my everything.”



Closing her eyes, Tara took a deep breath and when she looked back up her eyes were blue once again. Willow gave her the biggest smile in the world because she knew that this was her Tara. She was about to say something but Tara stopped her. Looking over at the beaten body that once was called Rack she moved to him. “I will not kill you or do anything that will harm you, but I can’t let you keep doing what you have been. I bind thee.”



Rack screamed as a soft blue light surrounded him. When it stopped he glared at her. “This isn’t over. I will find some way to get back at you.”



“No you won’t. From now on you can never do magic again in any form.” Tara said in a calm voice. “You are free to go and I recommend that you leave as soon as possible. I don’t have any control over anyone but myself and I believe you are surrounded by people that would have no problem hurting you.” Rack didn’t say anything, just stood up and started walking away. Tara hadn’t physically hurt him, but she had done the one thing that placed him in his own personal hell.



Willow looked at Tara for a moment. “Are you sure that you are okay?”



“Not yet but I will be soon. The power inside me is starting to do as it is told now. In a little while I will be back to the way I was. Then I think we have a little talking to do.” Tara said with a smile. The idea of them getting back together was going to be one of the main things keeping her going.



Willow smiled at her. “Yes and no more spell I promise.”



Tara shook her head. “Willow that isn’t the answer. There will be times when we have to do magic. That is one of the hazards of living on the hellmouth. What you have to learn is to balance the magic you possess, and respect what you are able to do.”



“Well then I will need to have a good teacher,” Willow said as she started to move closer to Tara. Just feeling her this close was pure heaven to all of her senses.



“I think I know of someone that wouldn’t mind taking the position.” Tara finished coyly and moved in kissing Willow softly with a promise of many to come. As the kiss continued all Willow could think was touching Tara wasn’t heaven no that was just the best thing in life. Kissing Tara now that was pure heaven and right now everything was right with the world.



The End.