DISCLAIMER:This piece has been re-worked to fit more accurately into an overall story and to follow the time line of Once More With Feeling. No offense is intended to the original authors, who are credited below. In addition all the original texts can be found in the All Purpose Creative Spoiler Thread.



We hope you all enjoy this piece with the humor and love with which it was created.



-Tommo & Rally

Once More With Bitterness

1) Going Through The Spoilers by Banshee

2) I've Got A Bitter Theory by Rally

3) I've Got A Theory by Willowlicious

4) They Got The Lesbo Out by Grim Jack

5) Under The Ground by Tommo

6) Joss Makes It Hell by Tommo

7) Marti's Song by Tommo

8) Take The Piss by Tommo

9) That's What It's All About by Kyrarco

10) Clearly, They Are Gay by The Literary Exterminator

11) Wish She Could Stay by Grim Jack's Friend

12) Caught in the Mire by Autumn

13) Warlock’s Song by Web Warlock

14) Where Can I Get A Beer? by Web Warlock

15) It's Just A Show by Kitten Chat



Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer…

Multiple scenes of Willow/Tara goodness, kissing in the Bronze, holding hands in Hush, hugging at the end of Season 4, Tara getting her brain back. It’s all lesbo type goodness. And then, the Kitten Board, looming like a monolith on the internet, holding the Spoiler Forum. Flashes of bad spoilers flicker up, incensed kittens spinning and crying at the very mention of Tara’s death.



Cut to the graveyard that is the Buffy fandom on the internet. It’s a place where spoilers reign supreme, and bitterness is more than a watchword; it’s a way of life.

Going Through The Spoilers

SHANNON:

(coming wearily onto the board, hoping to find something assuage the darkness inside her)

Every single night the same spoiled rantings

I just try to read it all

Still, I always feel it’s people venting

None of these are real,

None of these are right



Some unspoiled newbie kittens rear their heads in the daily thread.

Shannon eyes their posts with the gaze of an experienced shipper.



I've been with show since the first episode

And now I just don’t know

’Cause I’ve been



Going through the spoilers

Reading all the pain

Nothing seems to make sense in my brain



I was always brave and kind of bitter

Now I find I'm just depressed

Crawl out of your bed you'll find this plot

Is full of lesbo death

Just like all the rest



I hope it’s done in jest.



UNSPOILED KITTENS:

She does pretty well with trolls who dwell

But lately, we can tell

That she's just

Going through the spoilers

Treading through the muck

It’s not even half the show it ...

(they find themselves in the spoiler thread, being pummeled on all sides by theories and speculations and,

worst of all, the news of Tara’s death)

Fuck



SHANNON:

Will it be this way forever

I thought Joss was really clever



UNSPOILED INNOCENT:

Do you think it’ll change?



SHANNON:

It better

I don't want to be

Going through the spoilers

I lose my fragile mind

I can't even see

How you could be so mean

I just want Tara to be

Aliiiveee



Shannon shakes her head and leaves the Spoiler Forum in a fit of anxiety, instead going to chat where she can pour out all her bitterness.



Cut to magic shop, day. The bell jingles. Buffy enters.



GILES:

(O.S.) Good morning, Buffy!



We see Willow and Tara standing by the counter. Giles in background..



WILLOW:

Oh, hey, did Dawn get off to school all right?

BUFFY:

(distracted)What? Oh, uh, yeah. I think so.



Buffy walks farther into the store. We see Xander sitting at the round table holding a donut in each hand.



XANDER:

Respect the cruller. And tame the donut!



Anya passes by en route to the counter.



ANYA:

That's still funny, sweetie.



Anya goes behind the counter. Giles looks in the box of donuts, takes one out, takes a bite.



BUFFY:

So, uh, no spoilers? Nothing going on? Herc or whatnot?



Giles and Xander shake their heads "no," continue eating donuts.



BUFFY:

Good! Good. (awkwardly) Uh, so, did anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um ... burst into bitterness?



Giles stops chewing. Everyone stares at Buffy for a moment.



XANDER:

Merciful Zeus!



Willow, Tara, and Anya rush over. Everyone talks at once.



WILLOW:

We thought it was just us!

GILES:

Well, I sang but I had my guitar at the hotel...

TARA:

It was bizarre. We were talking and then it was like-

BUFFY:

Like you’d been horribly cheated or something?

TARA:

Yeah!

GILES:

That would explain the way I wanted to go off back to the UK and do other things with the BBC.

WILLOW:

We did a whole duet about dead lesbians.

ANYA:

And we were arguing and, and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies and Xander was the hero of the season…

WILLOW:

There was an entire verse about cliches.

XANDER:

It was very disturbing.

GILES:

(to Buffy) What did you get bitter about?

BUFFY:

(pauses) I don't remember. But i-it seemed perfectly normal.

XANDER:

But disturbing. And not the natural order of things, and do you think it'll happen again?

GILES:

I don't know. I should look into it.

WILLOW:

With the thread. O-on the board.

TARA:

Do we have any threads on this?

XANDER:

Well, we just gotta break it down. Look at the factors before it happens again. Because I for one-



Giles begins to sing, interrupting Xander

I've Got A Bitter Theory

GILES:

I've got a theory

That it's the network

Network executives

No, something isn't right there.



WILLOW:

I've got a theory

Some Spuffer’s dreamin'

And we're all stuck inside his wacky S/M nightmare.

(Tara mimes being shot as Willow sticks her fingers down her throat)



XANDER:

I've got a theory we should work this out.



ANYA/TARA/WILLOW/XANDER:

(looking at one another with fear and concern)

It's getting eerie, what's this bitterness all about?



XANDER:

(jumps up, finger in air)

It could be lesbos!

Some evil lesbos! (sees Willow and Tara’s expressions)

Which is ridiculous, 'cause lesbo's they are persecuted,

Lesbos good with bitterness and woman power

and I'll be over here. (sits)



ANYA:

I've got a theory! It could be fundies!



Silence. The others just stare at her. Sound of crickets chirping.



TARA: I've got a-



Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over Anya.



ANYA:

(shrieking a la Alanis Morissette)

Fundies aren't just Republican like everybody supposes!

They've got them abortion and anti gay agendas!

And what's with all the tax shelters?

What do they need so much money for anyway?

(playing air guitar)

Fundies!

Fundies!

It must be Fundies!



Fireworks go off all around her, then the smoke clears away. The others continue simply staring.



ANYA:

(back to original melody)

Or maybe Marti.



WILLOW:

(quickly sits down beside Giles and opens a book)

I've got a theory we should work this fast.



WILLOW/GILES:

Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.

I've Got A Theory

Performed by the Speculation and Hope Thread Players



I've got a theory

That it's a reset

A cheezy reset

No, something isn't right there



I've got a theory

That Buffy's dreamin'

And we're all stuck inside

Her hell dimension nightmare



I've got a theory we should work this out

It's getting eerie, what's this crap about Xander talking Black Willow down?



I've got a theory that Tara's staying dead

Which is ridiculous, because Tara is essential, she's Willow's soulmate,

Dawnie's mother figure, Buffy's confidante and she also has the best breasts on the show



I've got a theory it must be Amber…

(Crickets chirping)



I've got a the--



I don't think that Amber's fired like everyone supposes

She might've signed a new contract under everyone’s noses

Cuz what's with all the conventions?

And why is she writing those damn W/T comics anyway?

Amber

Amber

It must be Amber!!



Or maybe Emma?



I've got a fear that some of us won't last

Don't look back insanity is closing on us fast



I've got a theory...that we deserve this



Across the board are unspoiled Kitties

They have no idea who the BSD is

But look at us

We're getting mean and snide

Lost in pain and bitterness

With hints of suicide



What can we do if we're this bitter?

Let's toss the whole show down the shitter

We're spoiler whores

Our life isn't nice

We know Tara's gonna die

We sure pay the price



But what can't we face if we're together

There's nothing in these spoilers we can't weather

There's nothing we can't face



LONE VOICE CRYING IN THE FRIGGIN’ WILDERNESS:

Except no Amber



XANDER:

(sits) See, okay, that was disturbing.

WILLOW:

(sits) I thought it was neat.

BUFFY:

So what is it? Are these spoilers true?

GILES:

I thought it didn’t matter; it’s the bitterness that’s killing us.

BUFFY:

Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies. Or gunshot wounds in the back.

(Glances over at Tara who shifts uncertainly)

ANYA:

Well, is it just us? I mean, is it only happening to our show? (Buffy turns away)

Cause that would probably be some homophobic network executive or something…



Buffy goes to the door, opens it. The bell jingles.

They Got the Lesbo Out

Scene is outside the Moral Majority headquarters in Closed Mind Gap, Deep South. Jerry Falwell comes out the front door, holding aloft a BtVS shooting script, followed by his minions; Boy Scout leaders and other properly joyless fundie twits, all heavily supressing their own homoerotic impulses. His minions form around him in a strangely joyless fundie dance number as Falwell thrusts the pudgy fist holding the shooting script into the sky, a joyless look of triumph on his piggy little face.



Falwell:

We got... the Lesbo... out!

Minions:

We got the Lesbo ouuuut...!



Buffy turns back into the store, closes the door.



BUFFY:

It's not just us. Looks like it’s US TV. Maybe even the world



Cut to later. Dawn enters the store wearing a huge smile.



DAWN:

Oh my god. You will never believe what’s happening in this season.



Reveal the rest of the gang sitting around the table looking at books.



BUFFY:

The lesbians get the shaft?



Dawn looks disappointed.



DAWN:

I’m going to be the next Slayer.

ANYA:

Oh my god, and you’re in the credits too!



Shot of Willow and Tara whispering to each other.



DAWN:

So, you guys read the spoilers too, huh? (walks closer)

XANDER:

So what'd you guys find out?

DAWN:

(sighs) Tara dies.



Dawn puts down her backpack, sits on a stool by the counter. We see Willow whispering in Tara's ear.



TARA:

(loudly) Tha-That's right! The, thread. The board.

GILES:

What board?

WILLOW:

The kitten-y board. You know? The, the Kitten, the Witches and the (mumbles) Wardrobe.

XANDER:

The what now?

TARA:

Oh, there's just a few ideas back at the house that deal with reset theories, wish fulfillment, alternate universes. It might be relevant.

WILLOW:

Yeah, we could, um-

GILES:

Well, I'm a hair's breadth from getting blow jobs on tacky British shows so I’m open to anything.

WILLOW:

Great, we'll, uh, go check it out and uh, we'll give you a call.

TARA:

Yeah, this could blow the whole thing wide open.



Cut to Willow and Tara walking through a park. It's sunny and beautiful. Green grass, blue sky, etc.

Lone gunman hiding behind the grassy knoll…that kind of thing…



TARA:

Do we even have any shred of hope for a happy future at home?

WILLOW:

Well, who wants to be cooped up on a day like this? The sun is shining, there's songs going on...someone’s waiting to shoot you in the back with a gun…



A couple of young men walk by and look at Willow and Tara as they pass.



WILLOW:

...that writer’s checking you out.

TARA:

What? (turns to look) Wh-What is he looking at?

WILLOW:

The dykeness of you, doofus.

TARA:

That writer really thinks I’m a lesbian? (looks back at them again)

WILLOW:

Entirely.

TARA:

Oh my god. It’s clear! I must die!



Tara makes like she's going to run after the writer. Willow grabs her and pulls her back. Tara giggles.



WILLOW:

Do I have to incinerate everyone to keep you? Cuz I’m not large with the influence on Joss.



She flicks her eyes nervously to where the figure of Joss looms over them.

Because he sees everything. Everything. They stand underneath a tree, leaning on a wooden railing.



TARA:

I'm just ... not used to that. H-he was really looking at me, like, with a writer’s eyes?

WILLOW:

(fondly) And you can't imagine what they see in you.

TARA:

I know exactly what they see in me.



A happy and sweet lesbian who’s never hurt anyone and has enabled you to find some truth and peace in your life at last, never mind the great sex we’re obviously having…realization dawns on her…aaah, right. Yeah. I have to die. Clearly.

Under The Ground

TARA:

I lived a time of madness

When that Glory bitch sucked my brain

My girls, they felt such sadness

Thinking I wasn’t the same

And now in Season six

Joss kills me just for kicks



I’m under the ground

How else could it end

I should have just stayed Willow’s friend

I know how this must sound

But he’s got Firefly

And now the lesbian must die



Pan across a little stream with a bridge over it. Willow and Tara are on the bridge. Tara takes Willow's hand and they walk off the bridge onto a path, holding hands. We see them walking through the sight of a gun, trained on a spot in the middle of Tara’s back.



I was just making Scooby

Buffy confided in me



Tara touches her chest and bows her head with the honor of having Buffy as a friend, because surely that would mean she might not die. Um, wouldn’t it?



And Willow touched my boobies

We got to kiss quite freely



Willow makes as though to grasp a hold of Tara’s breast, but Tara pulls away, wagging her finger and pointing towards the Grim Reaper-like shadow of Joss on the horizon.



We touched and gazed and laughed

Then Marti gave me the shaft



I’m under the ground

Nothing I can do

My character is really screwed

And now my fans have found

Of smoochies there's no lack

And then I get shot in the back



You made me believe…



Willow and Tara spin around in one another’s arms, moving from the park to their bedroom back at Buffy’s house. Moving to sit on the bed, Tara picks up a rainbow flag and waves it listlessly, before throwing it to one side.



So goodbye to Gay Pride

The lesbian has died



I’m under the ground (lies down on the bed with her hands crossed over her breast, funereal style)

Lifeless dead and cold (she stiffens her body)

This cliché now is getting old

Though rumors will abound

That I’m coming back

But you know what, you’re all on crack

I’m six feet under ground…



I’m six feet under

I’m six feet under

I’m six feet under



Open on exterior shot of Xander's apartment building.



XANDER VOICEOVER:

You want some straightness, Willow?



Cut to the bedroom. Xander and Willow lie tentatively on the bed together, confusion on Willow’s face, unadulterated glee on Xander’s.



WILLOW:

You don’t have a storyline of your own then?

XANDER:

Nah, I’ve been pretty much underused the whole season. You and Tara were having so much fun, I thought I’d muscle in on it. It’s a guy thing. So, lesbian gay type lovers?

WILLOW:

Will you still mooch off my storylines when Tara’s dead?

XANDER:

No, your character will be screwed to hell by then. But by Jossian law, I’ll probably come out on top. I usually do. (grins) Hey, how about Boystown? I could help you get back to Boystown, I’ve got that whole macho thing goin’ on…



Xander continues talking unintelligibly as Willow sits up and begins to sing to the camera.

Joss Makes It Hell

WILLOW:

This is the man that I planned to avoid

And isn’t he shite

Though you may say I was gay, no more boys,

Yes that was my plight

But now I’m off the crack

They shot my Tara in the back

The only trouble is (pauses, shakes her head)

Joss makes it hell



Willow gets up and walks off. Xander sits up in bed and sings to the camera



XANDER:

She is the one

Treated her just like scum, with her pasty face

I talked such shit, and Willow fell for it, yes she knew her place

I had a weakling spell

Now a hero’s role just suits me swell (flexes his muscles)

There’s just one thing that, well

Joss makes it hell



XANDER AND WILLOW:

Cause he makes our lives hell



Cut to the two of them moving into the living room.



WILLOW:

(she puts a hand over her yawning face)

He bores

XANDER:

(he checks Willow’s eyes for signs of blackness)

She’s casting

WILLOW:

(pushes him away, annoyed)

His blight is everlasting

XANDER:

(wiggles his eyebrows)

She did that lesbo magic that I can’t describe

WILLOW:

I talk, he ignores me

XANDER:

Her pain has always bored me

WILLOW:

I think he got his balls from the Nancy tribe

XANDER AND WILLOW:

The vibe gets kind of crazy

XANDER:

Like her loyalties amaze me

WILLOW:

And his lack of faith does craze me

XANDER:

And my promises are hazy

XANDER AND WILLOW:

But it’s all very well (give one another fake smiles)

Cause Joss makes all our lives hell



Xander opens the Sunnydale High Yearbook and looks at the collection of Buffy pictures. Written next to one of them in his handwriting is “I’m going to shag her by the end of the series if it kills me.”



WILLOW:

I know above me he wants to first boink Buffy

Now look he’s getting huffy cause he knows that I know

XANDER:

She clings, she’s greedy

For Tara she is needy

She never -

WILLOW:

His thoughts are seedy

XANDER:

This is my story arc, hello!

She -



Willow begins to wave her arms around in the air, trails of magical energy coming from her fingertips. Her eyes darken to a shade that is distinctly black.



WILLOW:

(spoken) Look at me, I’m casting magic crazy!



She chases Xander around the living room, zapping his butt with little sparks of magic and making him jump in the air as he tries to placate her.



XANDER:

You know you’re really funky

WILLOW:

You’re a butt monkey

XANDER:

You’re the weirdest of the Scoobies

Cuz you touch other girls’ boobies

And you need to get back to Xandertown



Xander grabs Willow by the upper arms and thrusts his crotch at her. She gives him a look, black-eyed, and he immediately lets go. Throwing her arms up in the air, Willow slumps into a seat at the dining table.



WILLOW:

I’m done

XANDER:

(Sitting down at the table)

She’s bitter

WILLOW:

(rests her head glumly onto her hand)

Been shafted up the shitter

XANDER:

(Bright smile)

But hey, I win all round and I don’t get killed.

WILLOW:

I’ve read this tale, the lesbian betrayal

I know that one fine day the writers blood will be spilled

XANDER AND WILLOW:

(Looking at one another across the table)

I lied when I said I loved you

I tried, but the writers they won’t budge

XANDER:

Is she looking for a gay old time?

WILLOW:

Can he even count past 69?

XANDER:

(Checks his rather large upper body)

Does she think “Oh he’s beneath me cuz he’s gone and got too beefy”?

WILLOW:

(Shudders visibly)

Will the writing get much darker that I’ll end up shagging Parker?

XANDER:

(Standing up tall and proud)

I’m a hero

WILLOW:

(Calling to the Nether Realms)

Tara come back!

XANDER:

I can sit around and do jack

XANDER AND WILLOW:

It was once a great tv show but it’s now just a shell

Cause Joss makes all our lives hell

He loves making our lives hell



XANDER:

I come out on top

WILLOW:

My character’s fucked



XANDER:

(Waves his hands in the air) Get off scot free, nothing to pay



XANDER AND WILLOW:Joss makes it hell.



They fall backwards onto the sofa, laughing fake Hollywood style laughs, before Willow pushes Xander away from her and bursts into tears.

Marti's Song

Sung by an embittered kitten.



Why won't you take that plot away?

I'm asking you please no.

It isn't right, it isn't fair.

Last year her brain was god knows where

I think that gunshot wasn’t there

Why can't you let it flow

I don’t think they’ve fucked their share

They’re just some poor dykes don’t you care?

It seems your writing’s lost its flare



Cut to the Kitten Board. Joss is lurking, but only Ruth can tell. Her bitterness-o-meter rises about ten notches.



RUTH:

The shit hits the fan and he appears.

JOSS:

So you know what's going on.

RUTH:

Well I’ve seen some bloody horrid spoilers in the last few weeks. Spoiler whores going to pieces over the news about Tara,

that one will stay with you. Please don’t kill Tara?

JOSS:

A world of no. (sits) So, any idea what on earth possessed me to do this?

RUTH:

(disappointed) Oh. So that's all. You've just come to gloat.

JOSS:

What else would I wanna visit the Kitten Board for?

Lesbian gay type lovers that you all are…(cringes) I really just said that, didn't I?

RUTH:

Yeah well, I wouldn’t wanna bore you with the comforting smutfic over on Pens…



Ruth makes as though to leave the board, then turns toward Joss.



RUTH:

I used to believe in you man, now I don't know a thing.

JOSS:

(frowns) What's up? You're all bad 'n moody.

RUTH:

Nothing. Glad you could stop by.



She makes a gesture towards the rest of the internet, indicating the Bronze Beta or someplace like that.

Joss doesn’t move; looks at her.



RUTH:

(defensive) It's nothing.

JOSS:

What?

Take the Piss

RUTH:

I laughed so many years ago

You can make me feel

Like it isn’t so

Joss rolls his eyes

Why do you keep on hurting us?

I think I finally know



You’re a git

Giving us the shaft

Showing us the lesbo love

We knew it couldn’t last

(Joss can’t look at Ruth, or the rest of the Kitten Board)

So what’s your answer to it all?

You shoot her in the back?

(Ruth mimes a gun going off)



That’s great

But I don’t wanna play

Losing Tara touches me

More than I can say

But hey, I’m just a poor shipper

And worse than that I’m gay



So please don’t take the piss



Please don’t take the piss

Did you think I’d miss

All the Tara smiles and smoochies that

Can make our Will feel bliss?

I can turn my tv off

But I can’t fill the deep abyss

So please don’t take the piss



Joss looks annoyed, turns toward the Bronze Beta to seek refuge, but Ruth intercepts him.



You know you got a heart of stone

Letting all this happen after

Everything she’s done

She brought Willow into the light

And the rest of us at home

So please don’t take the piss



Cut to the graveyard. A group of men carry a coffin along. A few dozen yards away we see

Ruth and Joss walking along side-by-side.



I know I should go but I follow you

Like a fan possessed

And I can’t not watch as you make this mess

And it hurts me more than you’ve ever guessed

How you’re putting the gay lovers to the test

But I can see you’re unimpressed

So leave Tara be



Ruth jumps up onto the coffin being carried by the men which tips under her

substantial Sapphic weight.



Please don’t take the piss

Did you think I’d miss



The pall-bearers tip the coffin and Ruth goes arse over tit onto the graveyard floor.



All the Tara smiles and smoochies that

Can make our Will feel bliss?

I can turn my tv off

But I can’t fill the deep abyss



Joss grabs Ruth and they tumble into an open grave. Joss lands on Ruth,

which means a nice comfortable landing for him. Humph.



So please don’t take the piss



Oh Joss



Please don’t take the piss



They still lie in the grave with Ruth scrambling to get on top. She stares at Joss for a moment,

then gets off him, leaps out of the grave and runs off.

Joss pokes his head up out of the grave to watch her go.



JOSS: (Spoken) So ... you're not watching then?





Cut to Dawn's bedroom. Dawn is dumping stuff out of her schoolbag. Tara watches from the doorway.

Tara has forbidden pages of a BtVS script pinned to her blouse, showing just how, where and when she dies.



TARA:

Lotta angst this season?

DAWN:

Ah, death. It seemed cool when Joss talked about it.

TARA:

(smiles) Willow said they have a lead on the whole “It’s a reset” theory. This demon that possessed the Buffy writers,

some sort of Lord of the Angst. (grins) Oh, but not the Jossman himself. Just a writer.

DAWN:

Um ... do they know what the hell they’re doing?

TARA:

They don't even know their arse from their elbow yet. But Willow will find out. She's the brainy type. (smiles)

DAWN:

Hm. (smiles at Tara) I'm glad you guys made up.

TARA:

What?

DAWN:

That great sex scene you had in episode 18 and 19.

It’s so good to see lesbians treated the same as other couples.

TARA: (confused) Dawn, Willow and I have never -

DAWN: It's okay. It's just ... you guys are so great together. I just hate it when you-



Tara puts her hand to the script pages on her blouse, removes them and reads them with increasing concern.

Her "I'm Under The Ground" melody plays in background.



DAWN:

But that was the only non-metaphorical love scene anyone’s seen you guys have anyway.

TARA:

(Staring at the script)

Dawn, I, um ... there's something I need at the shop.

Will you be okay for a little while?

DAWN:

Yes. The fifteen-year-old can spend a half an hour alone in her locked house.

TARA:

I-I won't be gone long.



Tara leaves.



Dawn goes over to a side table, opens a small wooden box. It's filled with stuff she has taken from the magic shop.

She takes out the necklace from before and puts it on, looks at herself in the mirror.



DAWN:

(sings)

Do other boards even know she’s dead?

Do other boards even care?



She turns around to find a Buffy writer (Joss’ minion) standing behind her. Its whole head is like a big pile of scripts that weren’t good enough to make the final cut. We see there are actually three of the minions. They throw a bag over Dawn's head.

She continues screaming, muffled.

Blackout.



Open on the Bronze Beta. Pan down to reveal Rally asleep in front of her computer.

She suddenly jerks awake, sits up, begins to read the utter nonsense posted there.



She is confronted by one of the Beta Posters. They do a ballet-ish dance of sequential posts that basically represents Rally trying to escape the “Tara dies” spoilers and the Beta Poster stopping her by dwelling on the horrific death scene that is coming up. The other two Beta Posters appear and join the dance. They surround Rally as she huddles close to the VIP thread in case Steve De Knight or Drew Greenberg show up. Then they fling her and she goes sliding across the floor, stopping beside the stage. We see a pair of feet in raggedy denims and sneakers with holes in the toes. They begin to do a squeaky number, tripping down the stairs and toward Rally... Meanwhile the camera moves up to reveal Joss. He hovers almost nervously around to the other side of Rally, pointing her towards her rantings on the Kitten Board Spoiler Thread.

That's What It's All About

JOSS:

Why'd you start this thread?

Don't you like my . . .

Plot?



Don't want to see her dead?

I'll guarantee you . . .

Not a lot.



This comes from my

Imagination

Which controls what is on your

TV Station

So what do you say?

Why don't we angst awhile?



I'm the big brain

I'm the twists and turns

When you're feelin' pain,

When you want your . . .

Set to burn.



When you cry from pain that's impending

I bring the level up

I change the ending

Now we're terrified

That's what it's all about.



'Cause I know . . .

What you need, fan.

I know just what you need, fan.



RALLY:

(spoken, nervous)

So ... you're like a good executive producer? Changin' it to a happy ending?



Joss laughs, shakes his head "no."



JOSS:

All these TV shows . . .

They go on too long

Then the plots get slow

So we come on way too strong

If the ratings go down - they'll pull it

So, some character will eat a bullet



Joss opens the door and the dead corpse of Tara falls through it. Rally stares in horror.



JOSS:

That's just how it goes

When writing teams go wrong.

You're watching yet, it's on your set

And, when I show this scene

You'll watch all the rest in the hope it's a test

But I just might be mean . . .

'Cause I know what you need, fan.



RALLY:

We will not

Watch a lot

If your plot is this random



JOSS:

I'll make her bleed, fan.



RALLY:

She'll be missed -

You'll have pissed

Off the lists, boards, and fandom!



JOSS:

I can write plotlines and supervise edits

And keep a main character out of the credits



RALLY:

No, please wait

Let me state

If for ratings you pander -



JOSS:

Got to go now, sorry, you 'shipper -

I'm doing Firefly, Angel, and Ripper



KITTEN:

Save the dyke

That we like

And kill Spike, Dawn, or Xander!



Joss stops in mid-kick, looks surprised, stops dancing, turns to Rally.



JOSS:

(spoken) Kill Xander?

RALLY:

(nods, nervously) Yuh-huh.

JOSS:

(chuckles, turns to minions) Find the writers. Tell them . . . tell them I'm permanently killing everyone but Buffy!

(Rally looks nervous)

Just do it - I want to see them burn.

(Rally looks alarmed.)

JOSS:

(sings) Now we're losing it. That's what it's all about.



Cut to the spoiler thread. The Literary Exterminator is giving us a voice of reason.

Bitterness attempts to kick it in two.



THE LITERARY EXTERMINATOR:

Good. Good. Feel the bitterness, gain perspective.

XITA:

I feel like I should…say fuck, or motherfucker, or something…

THE LITERARY EXTERMINATOR:

It may seem hokey, but we need to work on precision and concentration as much as bitterness.

(Goes to post some more rationality)

We're still not sure that Tara’s not coming back.

XITA:

(Makes a hundred new avatars, each increasingly focused on Tara’s breasts and Willow’s proximity to them)

Oh, you'll figure it out. I’m just worried this whole spoiler thread’s turning into a suicide watch.

(she reads) Spinning? Puking? Crying?

(she sighs) I can’t moderate it all.

THE LITERARY EXTERMINATOR:

Ah. Well, if we hear any more ‘Xander saves the day’ spoilers, we'll just lie down until they go away.

(Posts a reply) Anyway, I don't think we need to work that much on your moderating skills.

XITA:

Yeah, I'm pretty aware for a person who only gets three hours sleep a night.

(She flits back and forth between new posts, scanning for trolls)

THE LITERARY EXTERMINATOR:

(pauses) Have you spoken to the other moderators about the incessant trolling we’re getting from other boards?



Xita stops in her moderating. Looks. Frowns.



XITA:

Oh. I think the chat ho’s took care of that.

THE LITERARY EXTERMINATOR:

(softly) Right.

XITA:

(oblivious) What would I do without their bitterness?



The Literary Exterminator looks pensive, turns and begins to go towards the ‘Support Thread’ in which

a skirmish of hopelessness has broken out. Looks at the pictures of Willow and Tara at the bottom of the board and sighs.

Glances at a little quote from Joss saying that Amber is part of the “heart of the show”.



XITA:

I mean…she might come back…

Clearly, They Are Gay

THE LITERARY EXTERMINATOR:

The world's not ready

For this silly plot.



Maybe if straight,

But they're clearly not.



When you thought of this,

You were surely smoking pot.



Because, clearly ...



This path's been beaten

'Till it's made me ill.



And you could fix it,

But you never will.



And the world just keeps on standing still.



'Cause clearly,



Clearly they could break the cliche

That permeates this land



And they could stand together

Guided by your hand



And they could stay-ay-ay,

But you blew it, man

Because, clearly .... they are gay.



As The Literary Exterminator continues singing, we cut to the spoiler support thread.

Xita is going through the posts, reading the hopeful words, tears springing to the back of her eyes.



The screams around you,

You don't hear at all.



Xita reads through her email again, searching for any spoilers she might have missed that

refute the overwhelming reality of Tara’s death.



'Cause to break this trend,

It would take a ball.



Cut to The Literary Exterminator scrolling pointlessly through the forty five pages of the spoiler thread,

reading wave upon wave of bitter anguish.



So you just lie there

When you should be standing tall



'Cause clearly,



Clearly they should stay together,

And be as one at last.



They should please their fanbase,

But now you have them brassed.



To pave the way-ay-ay,

They should be holding fast.



Because clearly

They are gay.



Because clearly

They are gay.



Xita returns to the spoiler thread.



XITA:

(To The Literary Exterminator)

Did you just post something?

Wish She Could Stay

Cut to the spoiler forum. A relatively new kitten is reading the news of Tara’s death with horror in her innocent eyes. She shakes her head, matching the small picture of Joss by her computer to the picture being formed from current spoilers.



KITTEN:

I was under your spell

Joss, how can this be?

Playing with my loyalty

I'm gonna go through hell

ME can't you see?

I will turn off my TV

You made me believe



Xita comes into the spoiler forum again, hardly able to tear herself away.



XITA:

Believe that Tara would never go...

XITA AND KITTEN:

Joss said he loved her and I trusted him so

But now we know

KITTEN / (XITA):

Cuz Joss is not around (Marti’s at play)

Doing Firefly, (With our girls)

I hope it crashes to the ground (And look at what she’s done)

I can't adjust to this disgust I feel (She took the pain of Joss’ world)

Oh I wish that she could… (And then she gave it some)



XITA AND KITTEN:

Wish she could stay

Wish she could stay

Wish she could... stay...



Both Xita and the newbie Kitten close their browsers slowly and sadly, shutting down their computers. Suddenly DrLloyd bursts into the Spoiler thread pulling with him brand new spoilers gleaned from his extensive interviews of everyone from extras to the catering crew on set. Everyone turns to look.



DRLLOYD:

Lookie lookie what I found.

XITA:

Is-is this something we don’t already know?

DRLLOYD:

Works for Joss. Has a nice little story for the Kittens, don't you? Come on, then.

(Shoves the spoiler source forward) Tell.





The music swells up dramatically as if to introduce a big musical number, but the spoiler source simply speaks in normal voice.





SPOILER SOURCE:

My master Joss has the lesbian killed because he lacks the courage of his convictions and wanted to really shove

it up the dykes’ -

XITA:

(interrupts) What does he want?

SPOILER SOURCE:

(shrugs) More money. A new show. I dunno.

DRLLOYD:

(scoffs) If that's all you've got to say, then-



DrLloyd tries to probe the spoiler source some more but fearing the wrath of the almighty Joss, the source runs off.



DRLLOYD:

(surprised) Afraid. Someday he'll get a real job.

XITA:

So. Tara’s life and sense of well being is threated. Must be episode 19.

GARFIELD:

I-I just fell asleep for a few minutes. Missed that spoiler.

XITA:

Oh, it's not your fault. So what's the plan?

GARFIELD:

Plan, schman. Let's mount up. Kick that sucker’s ass.

XITA:

No.

LEN:

Uh, DrLloyd may have had the wrong idea in summoning this spoiler source, but ... I've seen some of these lesbian TV cliché deals and, and they never end well. Well, maybe once. But you know… (shrugs helplessly)…she turned into a bird.

WEB WARLOCK:

We're not just gonna stay here.

AUTUMN:

Yes we are. (looks intently at Xita) Xita's going alone.

WEB WARLOCK:

(disgusted laugh) Gah! Don't be a stupid git. There is no-

AUTUMN:

If I want your opinion, Web Warlock, I'll- (pauses to consider)

Actually, your opinion’s pretty good. (they smile at one another)

BRIAN:

I could unleash the Canadian rage and -

AUTUMN:

No! (Brian looks surprised) I mean, I don't think it'll help.

GARFIELD:

(to Xita) Look, forget them, Xita. I've got your back.

XITA:

I thought you wanted me to kick Joss’ ass. Make your mind up.

GARFIELD:

(to himself) I’m phenomenal. Amber and Joss said so.

AUTUMN:

(coughing behind her hand) Suckup.

LEN:

Let it go, Autumn.

GARFIELD:

(to Xita, angrily) Fine. I hope you moderate till you burn when this shit goes down. You and the lesbros.



Garfield exits. Xita looks at the other Kittens.



XITA:

You're really not coming.

AUTUMN:

(walks up to her) It's up to you, Xita.

XITA:

(upset) What do you expect me to do?

AUTUMN:

Go to Santa Barbra. Cry. Crack Amber.



Xita stares at her.



Cut to kittenchat. It's dark outside, the bitterness in chat is strong. Some kittens are doing their own avatars, others are writing smut while in chat. Pan down to focus on Autumn’s brightly colored font, saying hello to everyone. She clicks onto voice and sighs.

Caught in the Mire

AUTUMN:

I read the spoiler and it queases me

Who wrote this shit, was it some hack?

Where's the appeal?

This story is surreal

I want my Tara back



Autumn scrolls down the board, but can’t bring herself to read any of it.



Now in this joke, she falls on TV

From a bullet in the back

To pave the way

For an evil gay cliche

I guess they're all on crack



So I will mock though it's dire

'Cause Joss is just some schmuck

I will mock though it's dire

And it all -



Cut to Ruth glaring at her computer, smoking a cigarette which she then stubs out in an ashtray that’s already full.



RUTH:

The hate I bear is great in me

While others cry I let it out

So dry your eyes

Let's talk of luscious thighs

and Willow's sexy pout



Xita encourages Ruth to write more smut by making her an avatar of Willow and Tara kissing.



XITA & RUTH:

'Cause at least they have sex first

Still it seems that it's bad luck

As it appears she is then cursed

And it all --



Cut to Bob gathering up his photographic gear and picking up his car keys.



BOB:

Will this shoot reveal the ending?

Is it worth what I'm expending?

Is my show now too far gone to care?



Cut back to chat and the spoiler talk.



RALLY:

What if wishes can't delete it?



WEB WARLOCK:

The end is nigh we are defeated!

Or we could just talk of Willow's hair.



WEB WARLOCK, BOB, BRIAN, LEN, AND RALLY:

We'll come unglued

Because like Tara we got screwed

So we will mock though it's dire



AUTUMN AND (BRIAN):

So thread by thread they all have snapped

I guess my friends can't find the hope

(I will erase)

The trust is broke

Our show is now a joke

(And make threads better)

No wonder we all mope



WEB WARLOCK and (XITA):

She is in the grave those wankers! (So one by one, they all agree)

RUTH and (XITA):

If he kills her, I'll have more rancor (This is the greatest of betrayals)

BRIAN:

All my rage is spilling out full force

AUTUMN and (XITA):

Feeling these emotions (The writing's shit)

RUTH and (XITA):

God those bastards, took her anchor (It's sure to make me quit)

LEN and (XITA):

I think this show's in the tanker (Well, after they do it)



Cut to Bob scanning the Californian countryside for signs of a nearby shoot.



BOB:

What if I missed the answer while I parked?



AUTUMN and (XITA):

These endless days

Are all ending this us crazed

(She will come then I split!)



AUTUMN, WEB WARLOCK, BOB, RUTH, BRIAN, LEN, AND RALLY:

And we are caught in this mire

The plot with no return

So we will mock though it's dire

And it all sucks!

It all sucks

It all sucks

It all sucks!



Silence in chat for a moment, and then…



XITA: (spoken) This show's slime.

Warlock’s Song

That was no fun

You guys and gals put us through Hell

And there's not a one who will say

This ended well



All those secrets

You've been concealing

Bob found them out,

Spying on location reeling



I hope this is done

Cause this has been real Hell.

Where can I get a beer?

Where can I get a beer?

The season’s done,

And it wasn’t any fun

So we will drink away our tears



Where can I get a beer?

Why did we hold her so dear?

When Joss is a pain in the rear.

Joss, we Understand

This story is your grand plan

But there is something you need to hear,



Screw You!



Where can I get a beer?

It’s the cliché that we all fear.

Heh. Bugger you!

When do the Oz-shippers cheer?



If the curtains close

On a corpse Joss knows

He’ll hear about this for years…



Ruth posts sadly on the board, then finds herself on the Bronze Beta where Joss is making an unannounced appearance.



JOSS:

I love a good entrance.

RUTH:

No Joss, you love good death scenes.



Joss just chuckles.



RUTH:

You got a heart?

JOSS:

I've got a hundred. And I’ll rip ‘em all out, over and over.

RUTH:

Well I ought to know what you plan to do if I’m going to carry on watching the show.

BETA POSTER:

Joss! Joss! Oh my god! You’re the bomb, man! Firefly! That rocks so much!

RUTH:

(looks at Bronze Beta poster with disdain)

Don’t worry, his new show isn’t going anywhere.

BETA POSTER:

What? (Joss looks interested, sits forward)

RUTH:

(to Joss) Deal's this. You kill Tara? You’ve lost half your audience.

JOSS:

(scoffs) I killed Buffy. People still watched then.

RUTH:

(deadpan) Trust me. Won't help. It’s not the Slayer we want. It’s the lesbian.

Without the whole TV death cliché shit.

JOSS:

Hm, that's gay!

RUTH:

That's our life.

JOSS:

(chuckles) Come now, is that really what you feel?

Aren’t I a clever bunny for killing the one character that everybody really liked?

RUTH:

I think you already know.

It's Just A Show

RUTH:

It's just a show

And we all play our parts

And when the May sweeps start

Joss will rip out all our hearts.

It's no good

If Tara comes out dead

And Joss fucks with my head

There’s Firefly instead…



Where there's death

It sucks

Who wrote this?

Some fucks?

Wishes might

Come true

Bristle while

You chat

So hard

All night



To be like other girls

To fit in an embittering world

Don’t give me cliches



The other reliable kittens run into the Bronze Beta. Everyone’s there, facing down Joss.



DR G:

(spoken) She needs backup. Shannon, Xita.

RUTH:

Don't give me cliches.



Shannon and Xita take up positions behind Ruth to be her backup singers and dancers.

The three of them move in sync.



RUTH:

Give me some reason to watch the show.

SHANNON/XITA:

Ahhhhh...

RUTH:

I need something to cream about.

SHANNON/XITA:

Ahhhhh...



RUTH:

It's just a show

Like some mad demon curse

And all that seems perverse

You don’t get to reverse



The music changes to a rock beat; the three girls dance to it together,

until Xita spins out of control and bumps into a pillar behind her, smacking her nose rather hard.

Clasping her hand to her face, she mutters “fucking fuck” as blood begins to trickle down her lip.

Ruth puts up a hand as if to shield herself from the sight of her friends.



Still my friends

Don't know why I abhor

All their lives little chores

That make me want to snore



All the joy

Joss writes

Has all gone

To shite

Floating o’s

And spells

It’s all shot

To Hell

Well that

Offends



Because this plotline blows

(looking around at the Chat Room)

And now I’ve lost faith in the show

(walking up the steps to the stage)

She’s in a shroud

I hope you’re proud



Just left with pain

Cheated, I doubt

That there’s a way out

In Seven

(Looks back at the others. Dr G and Bob looking surprised)

So that's my disdain.

(Autumn looking horrified in her stylish yet affordable boots)

I live in Hell

(Bob looking horrified)

'Cause she’s been expelled

From Seven

I hope that she’s in Seven

(Autumn looking horrified)

So give me something to dream about

(Whirls around to look at Joss)

Please

Give me something...





Joss shakes his head.

Ruth gives a desperate look, turns and flips off the stage onto the floor.

Ruth dances, faster and faster.

Rally watches in dismay.

Joss leans forward expectantly.

Ruth spins wildly round and round and round, smoke begins to curl off her.

Suddenly Brian appears, stops her by grabbing her upper arms.

Ruth gives him a desperately unhappy look.



BRIAN:

Now it’s all wrong

We’ve lost lesbo bliss

Cause Joss was remiss

By killing

We try to stay strong

(Rally stands up)

The pain that we feel

Has lost its appeal

By killing

(Ruth looks about to cry)

We need Tara living

So both girls they are living



Ruth stares at Brian.

Rally walks forward to the edge of the stage.



RALLY:

(spoken) The hardest thing about this show…is to watch it.





Ruth looks at Rally, then back at Brian.



Shot of Xita trying to comfort Autumn.

Joss applauds.





JOSS:

Now that was a show-stopping number.

(The Kittens turn to look at him)

Not quite the persuasion I was looking for.

The dyke’s still dead.

XITA:

Get out of here.

JOSS:

Mm, I smell bitterness.(stands)

I guess the memory of sweet Tara and I should be on our way

(Rally backing away from him in fear, sitting back down)

GARFIELD:

That's never going to happen.

JOSS:

(chuckling) I don't make the rules.

RALLY:

(confused) Yes you fucking do!

JOSS:

But you always used to like the pain, sweet thing.



Joss reaches out to touch Rally but she shrinks away from him, shaking her head vociferously.



RALLY:

(very nervous) Oh, but, no, I, I, um, uh, this, at, at the end of Season Two, I was,

I was never a big Angel shipper anyway and I…I um…I never wanted this much pain…

JOSS:

Well now, that's a twist.

GARFIELD:

Well if it was someone in the fandom…or even in the show…



Beat. They all look around at each other.



Slowly Xander raises his hand.



ALL:

Xander?!

XANDER:

Well, I didn't know what was gonna happen!

I just thought there was gonna be your usual dyke drama!

I didn’t think he’d kill her!

And I just wanted…

(looks round nervously at everyone)

I just wanted to be the hero for a change.

Instead of being everyone’s whipping boy.

JOSS:

(chuckling) I think everything worked out just fine.

XANDER:

Does this mean that I have to... (gulp) be a replacement lesbian?

With the bad wardrobe and everything?

(The kittens look rather nauseous)

JOSS:

It's tempting. (Xander looking apprehensive)

But I think we'll waive that clause just this once.



Xander is intensely relieved. Everyone else just continues watching Joss.



JOSS:

Big smiles everyone! My new show is on soon enough and it’s big budget. No lesbians though.



He does a quick spin



JOSS:

(same tune as his first number)

What a lot of fun

You guys have been real swell

(Chuckles and begins ticking off names on his “To Kill” list)

And there’s not a one

Who can say it’s not Sapphic hell

All those hopes you put in Will and Tara

And I’ve gone and killed one without care

Now I gotta run

I know you dykes so…



He turns into a ball of light that swirls around their heads, leaving a sparkly trail.

Ok,



Dedications:



Everyone who contributed...

Autumn (The Punster)

Banshee

Grim Jack & Friend

Kyrarco

The Literary Exterminator

Web Warlock

Williowlicious

Xita



Everyone in Kitten Chat (Bob, Brian, Dr G, Jho, Julieta, Len, Liz, Nic, Sarah, Scott)...I know I am forgetting folks...



Mostly to Ruth who did the bulk of the writing and editing.



I just add the pretty pictures and colors to other people's words.

------------


"Everyone's getting spanked but me and my bitter inner Peruvian fruit bat of happiness."

Edited by: Rally at: 4/17/02 3:58:11 pm

Rally this was brilliant!!!!



It took me so long to get through this because I was laughing so hard I was crying.



Got any more?

_________________________________


Paula

_____



~ May the Amber Force be With You


~ Keeper of My Own Insanity

This is a collaborative effort by many folks on the board. It took on a life of it's own and deserved it's own thread. Going to be working on the full editing and credits in the next day... but to give shout outs now...



Ruth was the start of it, Autumn, Xita, Shannon, Web Warlock, Grim Jack, Liz and so many others helped out... tonight alone, the entire chat room worked on the last song. I hate to leave anyone out, so everyone take your props and enjoy the thread. You all helped on it and we want to give it to Amber in BraBra.

------------


"Everyone's getting spanked but me and my bitter inner Peruvian fruit bat of happiness."

Edited by: Rally at: 4/15/02 1:20:20 am

BRILLIANT! FUCKING BRILLIANT! So at least something good came of all these shite spoilers. I would love for Joss to see this--it's such a beautiful rendition of our pain.



Awesome work guys.



blt

Except for the Xander stuff and what seems to be a senseless fear of Willow going straight the song parodies are LOL funny!!They're very cute but unfortunately quite actuate in the way ME is making us all feel like shit!!

Edited by: TarotX at: 4/15/02 9:37:47 am

Rally oh my I read your poem. Oh my gosh it brilliant.



My compliments to all who wrote in the thread. You did an excellent job.

Edited by: awatcher2  at: 4/15/02 7:39:00 am

Oh, this turned out really great Rally. I see you (and the rest on the chat) finished Life's a Show...it's really good !!



So, who sends this to Joss??

--Er du måske læge??--

This was so funny just made me laugh out loud but still no Tito

You know there is something uniquely satisfying out of taking Season 6's magnum opus, and twisting it to our own dark desires.



Karmic poetry, I'd say.



SO, who wants to knock together an album cover?



Warlock

-----

Web Warlock

The Other Side: http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/theotherside/

ShadowEarth Games: http://www.rpghost.com/WebWarlock/

Liber Mysterium: the Netbook of Witches and Warlocks

Edited by: WebWarlock at: 4/15/02 7:39:32 am

that was brilliant!! big well done's and thank you's to everyone that helped with it. definitely appreciate the chance to laugh when in the spoiler forum. really doesn't happen often, or at all lately.



edited to add: ok, so the amusement is fueled by a certain amount of bitterness. such a shame that it had to be underpinned by such depressing subject matter

Edited by: ertsgib at: 5/5/02 4:59:08 pm

You know you should post this at the Bronze Beta see what kind of reaction you get. Wonder if the writers would reply?

I couldn't decide whether to laugh because you were obviously trying to make it funny...



or to cry because it was all so true...



*sigh*

The Bronze Beta doesn't deserve this.

Autumn

-----------

Buffy: I could wrestle naked in grease for a living and still be cleaner than after a shift at the Doublemeat.

Willow: Plus, I'd visit you at work every single day. --- "Normal Again" shooting script

These songs were fantastic summing up the emotions everyone are feeling!

I would have been singing them aloud if not for the fact I'm sat in the University computer room, surrounded by others. I had to make do with a few sniggers- still got strange looks though!

"I am a whiz...If ever a whiz there was"

just wondering where the



"or maybe marti" line went in anya's bunnies song.



i seem to recall a version with that one and was ROFL at that line.

Quote:

---

"or maybe marti" line went in anya's bunnies song.

---

A couple of the songs were duplicated in the group effort. Working on finishing editing it now and getting up everyone's credit. So many people worked on these and gave great feedback in the Creative Spoiler Thread.



We just wanted to be able to compile these in one place and with the songs in the correct order.

------------


"Everyone's getting spanked but me and my bitter inner Peruvian fruit bat of happiness."

Well, what I've decided to do is run the songs as they are through one final edit, cuz I'm a stickler for getting it right. So Rally and I will be doing that today. Um, hopefully.

----------
No metaphors...just fucking.

You, my dear have talent.

Buffy was right, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it....and I'm just hoping and praying that Tara is going to given the chance to do so.

Fact: Tara dies permanently and Joss is going to have 145 pounds of Marine with an attiude and a Beretta Model 92FS on his front door step...with a platoon of Kittens not far behind, I'm sure. I'd just call in an air strike, but that's too inpersonal.

Just when I thought I wasn't surrounded by enough bitterness and angst. (Not that I'm complaining) Thanks for the laugh. Its funny cause its true. (Unfortunetly)

-----------------
You can't shave an unsedated skunk.

Dawn: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
Anya: Oh my god. Did it sing?

Well I knocked this together. Hope you all like.

If anyone what to have a go on making it better (please) then email me, I can send you the PSD file.



Well without further ado!







Now let me pimp my site. Please click the "Other Side" link to help me pay for this! ;) Or at least visit my Willow/Tara pages. http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/theotherside/willtara.php



Warlock.

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Web Warlock

The Other Side: http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/theotherside/

ShadowEarth Games: http://www.rpghost.com/WebWarlock/

Liber Mysterium: the Netbook of Witches and Warlocks

Edited by: WebWarlock at: 4/15/02 12:37:01 pm

Oh it's great Warlock, I love it...

--Er du måske læge??--

I haven't laugh so much in ages (especially when reading the spoiler board). I'm off to read it again.



Thanks for the light relief. It was much needed.

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"When someone falls for Willow, they stay fallen" - Normal Again

That thing looks great!

Ahm, and I visited your website, I'm impressed.



Aargh, I forgot to write that I like these wonderful lyrics just as well. But as I'm an optimist I think we'll be able to look back on it by grinning from one ear to the other.

Edited by: Robin at: 4/15/02 1:43:16 pm

I think we'd all like that, Robin. And I for one, hope that I will feel truly foolish at that time.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

Eh, in the meantime we are getting to laugh at our bitterness and kill some of the deadtime as we await sweeps.



I don't think we will look foolish in the end, just brilliant in our bitterness and loathing for the upcoming events.

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"Everyone's getting spanked but me and my bitter inner Peruvian fruit bat of happiness."

Hiya.



The texts were simply hilarious. I sang them all the way ´til the last line. Great, just great!



Thanks to everybody involved, this was just what I needed.



Oh, and Warlock... Nice site.



Fran

The best song parodies I've seen since "Once More, All Naked, All Gay." I like the graphic too. Sigh. Being a spoiler whore never used to be this depressing. Let's hope that the theory of a reset is right!

Xander: Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?
-Freshman

Just wanted to say I loved the songs, they were funny and so true at the same time. I kept trying to picture the actual characters singing these lines in the show. Great job!

Edited by: VampNo12  at: 4/15/02 6:41:36 pm

Actually I am trying to picture actuall Board members singing these songs.



That for some reason is much funnier!



Warlock

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Web Warlock

The Other Side: http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/theotherside/

ShadowEarth Games: http://www.rpghost.com/WebWarlock/

Liber Mysterium: the Netbook of Witches and Warlocks