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• Title of the story: These are 3 short fics centered around "The I In Team", "Where the Wild Things Are" and "New Moon Rising" - they are "Missing scenes" from those episodes, speculating on what might have happened off-screen. Each one contains snippets from their respective ep and the credited screen writer is named
• Author name - Laurie
• Email address:
• Website: google Willow's Promise for my site
• Feedback is always welcome
• Distribution: please do not distribute
• Spoilers: Season 4 - "The I In Team", "Where the Wild Things Are", and "New Moon Rising
• Rating: NC 17
• Disclaimer: Don't own any of it, not making any money... it's Joss' playground he just lets me play on the merry-go-round and, when I'm good, the monkey bars.
• Summary: "The I In Team" - "The First Time: Willow's Story" - When Willow and Tara use the doll's eye for the first time, that's not the only "first" for them.
"Where the Wild Things Are" - "Sometimes When We Touch: Willow's Story" - The aftermath of the Lowell House incident.
"New Moon Rising" - "Friends & Lovers: Tara's Story" - Oz returns and wants Willow back...we got to see what Willow went through...what did Tara go through? (This one is my personal favorite)
• Note: I've posted all three together because they follow along with one another and work well (in my opinion) if they're read in sequence and, also, they get better as they progress - promise.
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[center]The First Time
Willow’s Story
(The I in Team: Written by David Fury)[/center]
Willow watched Buffy’s retreating back as she left with Riley and the other commandos. She was frustrated. Buffy had promised a “Scooby” night – just the four of them. Then she shows up an hour late with Riley and the boys in tow. Then ‘Mother’ calls and she bailed. Without even ten minutes to spare for her “best friend”.
“I could have had other plans, “Willow muttered. “I wanted to have other plans. I could have brought someone.” Willow blushed remembering how she had avoided the subject of who with Buffy. Was Tara someone…or…no one? Willow sighed as the familiar conflict surfaced. Tara was someone. Someone special. Important even. “I love her.” Willow surprised herself with that thought. “Then how could I say she was a hypothetical someone? A no one?” Willow glanced at Anya and Xander on the dance floor and made up her mind. She walked over to Xander and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Buffy bailed. Not so much a party, what, with Buffy bailing and you two all snuggly. I’m gonna go,” Willow said with a half smile. “We’ll talk later,” she said as she turned and left. Willow hoped Xander wouldn’t follow her. She needn’t have worried as Anya’s voice followed her,
“Does this mean we can go have sex now?”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Willow walked through Sunnydale toward the campus. She wanted – no needed – to see Tara.
“Tara…hi…it’s kind of ironic,” Willow muttered to herself, practicing what she’d say to Tara.
“A funny thing about my friend…no…” Willow sighed.
"Uh, hey, remember those really scary guys who chased us…" No, no it definitely wasn't time for THAT talk yet. Any other talk would do.
“Here’s the thing, Tara…see…well…”
“Tara…it’s kind of funny, ironic, even…”
Willow reached Tara’s door and hesitated for just a second, still uncertain what to say before she gently rapped on Tara’s door.
Tara answered the door looking puzzled to see Willow on the other side.
"Willow?" Tara’s confusion was written all over her face.
‘Of course.’ Thought Willow, smiling sheepishly. ‘She wasn’t expecting me…I had a thing…with friends.’
She launched into what she hoped would be a coherent explanation. "A funny thing happened with my prior social engagement. Pretty much ended when a friend of mine went off to do something with another crowd she hangs out with. Irony is kind of ironic that way. Anyway, I know it's late, but I-I thought maybe-- I mean, if you still wanted to…do something?" she said, looking hopefully at Tara.
Tara smiled and opened the door wider to let Willow in. As Tara closed the door, the familiar feeling of safety and comfort enveloped Willow. This was where she had wanted to be all night.
"Um…I d-don't know w-w-what you have in mind…" Tara ducked her head, as if unable to meet Willow's eyes.
Willow looked at Tara and smiled, feeling her entire being fill with warmth.
"I thought maybe we could, you know, start with another synchronicity spell. Sort of get all tuney with each other," Willow said with a hopeful half smile.
"Sure. B-but I thought you w-w-wanted to use the doll's eye…" Tara offered hesitantly.
"No. I do. I was just thinking that maybe we'd, you know, warm up…sort of…I mean…I have, uh, time…you know…if you do."
"Oh. Y-y-yes…I do…that, um, sounds great. Sure…w-w-w-arm up…g-good idea.”
Willow watched Tara’s face as Tara ducked her head and smiled.
‘Is that good…or is that a I-don’t-want-to-offend-Willow-but-I-don’t-want-her-to-stay-that-long…’ Willow wondered.
"You know, we could, like, start with floating some, you know, crystals. Just to, you know, warm up?" Tara suggested, breaking into Willow’s thoughts.
"Sounds neat." Willow smiled, reveling in her newly discovered feelings for this woman and enjoying just being with her.
They spent the next hour 'getting in tune' by floating crystals and having them chase each other around the room. Willow watched as Tara’s eyed danced in the candlelight reflecting off the crystals. ‘I can't believe I'm such a dummy - well, maybe I knew that, but I can't believe that I never noticed how beautiful she is.’ Both women were glistening with sweat and their breathing was uneven. Willow looked at Tara’s face and thought Tara looked tired. She reached out and grabbed “her” crystal out of the air at the same time Tara grabbed hers. They looked at each other and started giggling.
“That was…uh…nice…um, I think we’re, uh, all tuney,” Willow grinned, “but…um…you look tired. Are you tired? I should go…it’s, uh, late…” Willow said, not wanting to leave but not wanting to be an imposition to Tara either.
"Oh…no…I mean…unless you w-w-want to go…" Tara trailed off and Willow thought she looked disappointed.
"Oh. No. I don't." Willow said. "I mean I want to stay, if you, you know, want me to. You know, talk, maybe try something with the doll's eye crystal? Or…not…" Willow felt conflicted - she didn't want Tara to think she was only being befriended for the majicks but she did want to try out the doll's eye. And she knew just the spell she wanted to try it with.
"N-n-no. I w-w-want you to stay. What did you want to try with the doll's eye?" Tara said, meeting Willow’s eyes.
Willow thought for a moment. "Tara…" she hesitated, looking for the right words. Tara looked at Willow her eyes full of…what? Willow wasn’t sure…trust? Anticipation? Curiosity? Apprehension?
"Here's the thing…"she took a deep breath and started again. "The thing is…see…I read about this spell. And, well, it's sort of a spell to make people…uh…" Willow sighed. She wasn't explaining this well. She wanted to do what amounted to a mystical soul tap; a spell that would link their souls and give them both the ability to see past their physical barriers and envision all the possibilities of what they could be.
Tara looked directly and deeply into Willow's eyes, "You don't have to explain."
"But…" Willow hesitated.
"No buts. I trust you Willow." Tara's face reflected the truth of her words.
Willow gave Tara a half smile, and nodded. "Um…ok…we need, uh, white sand, three clear crystals, um, six white candles and a mirror." Willow said. “Oh…yeah…and the doll’s eye, of course.”
Willow knew where Tara kept her majick supplies and they both began moving at the same time, bumping into each other. Willow instinctively put her hand on Tara’s arm to steady her as Tara put her hand out to steady Willow. Willow blushed as their hands met. They both stopped, looking into each other’s eyes. Willow felt herself getting lost in Tara’s eyes, her stomach fluttering as she realized she wanted to kiss Tara.
“Right…uh…I’ll get the crystals and…uh…the…uh…sand. Over here…” Willow stammered, breaking the contact and turning away.
Tara turned and got the candles, mirror and doll’s eye from the bureau while Willow opened Tara’s footlocker and took out the crystals and sand. Standing up, she saw Tara looking at her. Willow wasn’t sure what the look in Tara’s eyes meant, but she felt herself blush before Tara looked away.
“Ok…right…we, uh, need to use the sand to make, um, two connecty circle-pentagrams.” Willow started pouring the sand in the pattern they needed. “See? Like this,” she said, handing Tara a bag of the sand. “Only when you do the other side, make sure you, um, make the pentagram and circle overlappy with the one I did.”
Tara did as Willow instructed, then handed Willow the candles. Willow handed Tara two of the candles back along with two of the crystals.
“The candles go at the outer points…uh…the crystals go at the two top points.” Willow put the remaining crystal at the southern point where the two pentagrams met and place a candle at each of the two westernmost points. Tara did the same on the opposite side. Willow took the doll’s eye and set it on the mirror in the space created by the overlapping pentagrams. The remaining candles she placed on either side of the doll’s eye and lit the candles.
Once everything was set, Willow instructed Tara to sit in the center of one pentagram while she sat in the center of the second one. Once seated, Willow began the incantation she had worked on earlier, hoping she would have the opportunity to use it.
"Jana, your light always shines
Even if we be blind
Help us to be clear sighted
What is separate now
We wish to link
Our two souls in total sync"
Tara and Willow watched as red and blue mist arose from the candles on either side of the doll's eye. The mists did not take human form but Willow could feel them within her. The red evoked power and passion and Willow could feel her own essence mingling with it. She reached her senses out toward the blue mist and could feel the strength within it. Controlled, nurturing…it washed over Willow and she could feel Tara’s essence mingling with it. The two mists started to fuse, creating a brilliant purple.
Willow looked through the mist and met Tara’s gaze. She could see eternity in Tara’s eyes and knew…no…FELT…Tara was seeing the same thing. Their pasts; two lonely, shy little girls trying to do the right thing and just fit in…square pegs in round holes. Their present; young women exploring their passions, opening up to new experiences, discovering themselves and each other. The possibilities their futures held; a lifetime of family borne of friendship, majicks, love…and peace. Pure, divine-grace type peace.
As they sat gazing into each other’s eyes, Willow felt their souls becoming one yet maintaining their individuality. The crystals began to shine brightly as the mists continued dancing, causing the purple to deepen as the red and blue became further enmeshed. Willow could still discern the blue and red mists and, though she thought it was only in her head, she heard the word forever. Gazing at Tara, she smiled; Tara returned it with one of her own and Willow knew that Tara had heard it too. Willow closed her eyes and felt Tara’s essence enter her; she felt a rush of coolness and a feeling that she had found something she never knew she didn’t have. She gazed back at Tara as she struggled to understand. As Tara returned the gaze, Willow realized that Tara had felt her essence…a flood of warmth and a feeling of…home…that was it…they…fit. A tear slid down Willow’s face. She was home.
How long the spell had taken, how long it had lasted, neither knew. It was a moment, it was forever and they both knew they never wanted it to end.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As the spell started to dissipate, Willow stood up. Wordlessly, she walked over and offered Tara her hand. Tara took it and Willow helped her to her feet. With more confidence than she actually felt, Willow pulled Tara to her and gently kissed her lips, deepening it as Tara responded by wrapping her arms around Willow’s waist. Willow wrapped her arms around Tara’s neck and opened her mouth to allow Tara’s tongue to dance with her own. The heat rising between her legs told her that this was right…she wanted this.
Tara drew back, her expression questioning and Willow responded by kissing her again. Without thinking about it, Willow maneuvered them to the bed. She lay Tara down and covered Tara’s body with her own, kissing her insistently. She moved her mouth over Tara’s neck and nibbled up to her ear, reveling in Tara’s gasp of surprise. She’d never done this but…somehow…she knew what to do. Clothes went flying in all directions as Willow fumbled to strip both herself and Tara. Tara giggled and Willow blushed, thinking she was being over-eager and maybe this was happening too fast. One look at Tara’s face was all she needed to urge her on. Tara was smiling and Willow felt her stomach flip over as she looked down at this beautiful woman who was opening herself up; offering herself to Willow.
Willow took her time… she wanted to know every intimate detail about her new lover. She gently kissed Tara’s lips and eyelids; nuzzled her neck behind her ears and nibbled her way down to the hollow of her throat. She trailed her tongue across the softness of Tara breasts, paying special attention to the nipples. Her hands roamed, exploring every inch of Tara’s body. Willow wanted to know what Tara liked, what made her groan…what made her moan…and what made her scream. The color rose in her cheeks and the heat rose between her legs as she thought about what she wanted. She wanted this woman…wanted to make love to her, possess her…make her scream in ecstasy.
Tara ran her fingers through Willow’s hair and arched into her but was denied as Willow pulled back, forcing them both to slow down. “We’ve got all night…” she whispered huskily…”no need to rush.”
She slid her hand between Tara’s legs and moved one leg aside to once more gain access to Tara. She watched Tara’s face as she slid a finger along the outside of her lips, getting Tara’s juices on it then licking and sucking it clean. Tara licked her lips and a small moan escaped them. Having found something Tara liked, Willow smiled. She slowly inserted a finger into Tara’s wet, hot slit and gently moved it in and out of her. Tara writhed and bucked, but Willow refused to move faster. Instead, she removed her finger and went back up to Tara’s face. Licking the finger, Willow then slid it into Tara’s mouth giving Tara a taste of herself. Willow then hungrily kissed her with the finger still in Tara’s mouth. Taking the finger out of Tara’s mouth, Willow trailed it lazily down Tara’s body as she kissed Tara deeply, darting her tongue in and out of Tara’s sweet mouth.
Willow stroked the soft skin of Tara’s belly and moved her hand between her legs, opening her up again. A groan escaped her own lips as Tara’s body responded to the long, slow strokes of Willow’s finger moving in and out of her. Willow moved faster, sliding a second finger into Tara and delighting in Tara’s gasp of surprise…she was so responsive, it was driving Willow crazy.
Before it was a fully formed thought, Will started moving down Tara’s body. Her mouth, tongue and teeth hungrily kissing, sucking, licking and nibbling at every inch of Tara’s beautiful body. ‘I want her…’ Willow thought, surprised at how much she wanted to taste Tara. It was an over-riding need…she needed to have her head between Tara’s legs; her tongue licking as her fingers darted in and out. The heat rising between her lover’s legs was intoxicating…she was surprised; while she was pleasuring Tara, Willow herself climaxed. The intensity of her climax created a revolving need to love Tara even more. She felt Tara’s hands in her hair, holding Willow’s face to her. Tara’s moans and groans let her know she was doing something right. Her fingers took on a life of their own and slid effortlessly in and out of Tara as her tongue hungrily lapped at the sweet juices flowing from Tara.
“Oh, W-W…ill…ow…” Tara moaned, still writhing beneath her. Willow slowed down, forcing Tara to groan. “Please…Willow…don’t stop…” Slowly she began bringing Tara up to a fever pitch again; her fingers moving faster, her mouth sucking harder and her tongue moving over every inch of Tara’s womanhood. She could feel Tara getting ready to peak…and moved quicker, pressuring Tara’s hot, throbbing bud with her tongue and moving her fingers faster and harder in and out of Tara’s wetness. Tara screamed her name as Willow brought her over and over again. Her lover’s screams coupled with the juices flowing over her tongue caused Willow to climax again. And again. Willow’s body responded to Tara’s and Willow found herself moving back up Tara’s body. Her knee firmly planted between Tara’s thighs, Willow rocked into the blonde while kissing her deeply and running her hand over Tara’s body. They both arched, breaking their mouths apart, as they orgasmed one last time, simultaneously screaming the other’s name.
Panting and sweating, Willow stroked Tara’s body willing her to come back down. Tara looked at her and Willow could read the love in her eyes.
“Hey, beautiful,” Willow whispered.
“Hi…”
“That was…amazing…Tara…” Willow stopped, she wasn’t ready to say the words. Which struck her as odd considering the way they’d spent the evening; first the soul tap spell and now…uh…this.
“It’s ok, Willow…” Tara smiled at her and Willow knew it really was ok. There was plenty of time for those words. She knew she loved Tara. She also knew she wasn’t ready to say them out loud.
She looked at her new lover…new lover…does sex make someone a lover? ‘Too tired. Deep thoughts later.’ She thought. Leaning over, Willow brushed the lightest of kisses against Tara’s lips. “Tired?”
“Very…but…happy…so very happy.” Tara smiled sleepily.
“Me too. Sleep now…this was an amazing night, Tara. Thank you for everything.” Willow cringed, “I mean…I…uh…”
“I understand.”
And Willow knew she did…she lay down next to her…she smiled…girlfriend and they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[center]
Sometimes When We Touch
Willow's Story
(Where the Wild Things Are: written by Tracey Forbes)[/center]
They walked back to the dorms in silence, not touching. There really hadn't been an opportunity for them to talk since Tara had wigged at the party. Willow felt brittle, like she was going to shatter into a million pieces. Tara had shied away from – no, Tara had completely pulled away from – Willow's touch at the party. Intellectually, Willow knew it had been the spirits at Lowell House causing Tara to react as she did but Tara's harsh words still rang in her ears. Thinking about what Tara had said made Willow's stomach hurt. Remembering to breathe was also becoming an issue. She was so confused. She and Tara had become lovers weeks ago but this was all still new to Willow. There'd never been anyone but Oz and what she shared with Tara was so different. Willow had trusted Tara with everything she was; hopes, fears, desires . . . Willow hadn't held anything back from Tara. Did the spirits at Lowell House cause Tara to say something she didn't mean or did they just remove any inhibitions Tara may have had about saying something earlier?
“W-willow?” Tara said hesitantly, cutting through Willow's thoughts. “This is my stop. Are – are you c-coming up? Tara's face was hopeful but Willow was still unsure. She knew they should talk but she was afraid of what Tara might say.
“I don't know,” she said honestly, “should I?”
“P-please?”
Willow nodded and followed Tara into the dorm. It was so strange not holding Tara's hand. They always held hands. She felt like crying. 'It's not real. She can't really feel that way,' she thought as they reached Tara's room. Once inside, Willow was uncertain what to say or do. She couldn't look at Tara, afraid the same look would still be there.
“W-willow,” Tara said. “look at me.” Willow looked up and Tara smiled gently at her. “What happened tonight? At the party? It wasn't me,” Tara said, gazing steadily into Willow's eyes. Taking a step toward Will, Tara took both of Willow's hands in her own. “I like touching you. I like it when you touch me. There is nothing about you that I find disgusting.” The tears Willow had been fighting back began to flow freely down her cheeks. Tara brushed them away and gathered Willow in her arms. “Shh. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, sweetie.” Tara pulled back and cupped Willow's face in her hands. “I didn't mean a word of it,” she said.
Willow nodded. “I know. I do know. It was just so unexpected and it hurt so bad.”
“I know.” Tara kissed her gently. “I love you, Willow. You're my best friend and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Never.”
Willow nodded again. She loved Tara but, for some reason, was unable to say the words.
“Stay tonight?” Tara asked.
“I am kinda tired,” Willow said, smiling.
“Good.” Tara took Willow by the hand and they lay down next to each other, Tara cradling Willow in her arms. Willow felt the now familiar desire rise within her. Tilting her head up, she smiled at Tara. Tara smiled back and took the hint, kissing Willow tenderly. Willow parted her lips, allowing Tara's tongue to dart in between them. Willow responded, deepening the kiss and entangling her tongue with Tara's. She let her hands stroke Tara's sides as Tara rolled her onto her back and covered Willow's body with her own as they continued kissing.
Settling her knee between Willow's legs, Tara began rocking into the pretty redhead. Willow arched into her in response, a moan escaping against Tara's mouth. Tara began kissing along Willow's jawline and up to her ear. Willow clung to her lover, enjoying the sensations of being made love to.
“You are wearing far too many clothes,” Tara whispered huskily in Willow's ear as she nibbled it.
Willow moaned as Tara rolled off her. “The kissing stopped,” she pouted.
“It'll start again, I promise. Just as soon as there's fewer barriers between us.” Tara said, grinning.
Willow grinned wickedly back at her. “I'll show you mine if you show me yours.”
They quickly shed their clothing and got under the covers. “Now, where was I?” Tara asked. “Oh, yes,” she said, recovering Willow's body with her own. “This feels familiar.” Willow smiled as Tara started kissing and nibbling her ear and neck. She responded by kissing and nibbling Tara's neck and shoulder. Tara began moving down Willow's body, teasing her skin with soft kisses and gentle strokes of her tongue. Using her tongue, lips and teeth, Tara teased Willow's nipple to erection while using her hand and fingers to tease and stroke up and down Will's body.
Willow worked the pigtails out of Tara's hair and ran her fingers through the beautiful locks. She held Tara's head as the blonde continued to move down her body. Willow moaned as Tara kissed her stomach on her way to Willow's pleasure zone.
Parting Will's legs, Tara licked up one thigh and down the other, pausing to tease Willow's clit until it was swollen and throbbing. Willow moaned and arched, seeking release. Tara complied, sucking and licking Willow's clit, her tongue darting in and out of Willow's hot, wet slit. Willow held Tara's head to her, screaming out Tara's name as Tara brought her to climax over and over again.
Tara gently kissed her way back up Willow's body. Her hands never stopped stroking Will, softly bring Willow back to earth as Willow's body continued to shudder in the aftermath of her climaxes. Tara tenderly kissed her. “Come back to me, darling,” Tara whispered, wrapping her arms around Willow.
Willow snuggled into Tara's embrace, feeling completely at peace.
“So, we're okay?” Tara asked quietly.
Willow smiled. “Oh, I think we're better than okay,” she said, all doubts about what had happened at Lowell House removed from her mind and body by Tara's lovemaking.
Tara kissed the top of Will's head and whispered, “I love you, Willow” as Willow drifted off to sleep in her lover's arms.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[center]
Friends and Lovers
Tara’s Story
(New Moon Rising: Written by Marti Noxon)[/center]
Tara sat in her dorm room unable to move. ‘Oz was in Willow’s room this morning…they must have spent the night together.’ She was numb; her relationship with Willow was so new and fragile but…they were so in sync. She loved Willow and thought Willow loved her even though she’d never said anything. ‘But Oz is back. Her first love…the one she was so heartbroken over when we met.’
Tara remembered the long nights she and Willow spent together getting to know each other. She knew all about Oz; how he and Willow met, about his being a werewolf, about their decision to date anyway. How Will’s transgression with Xander had almost ended her relationship with Oz and how she and Oz had reconciled had been discussed at length. As had Oz’s betrayal with Veruca and how his leaving so abruptly had left Willow shattered. Her heart ached as she thought of the pain Willow had endured because of Oz…and wanted to cry when she thought about Willow going back to him. She knew Oz had been Willow’s first lover. Her only lover…until Tara.
Tara could hardly believe her life could be so changed in less than twenty-four hours. Yesterday, she and Willow had been talking about cats and making sure Tara’s room was ‘Willow-friendly’. They walked across campus holding hands; it was so amazing. She had been so excited, and just a little nervous, that Willow was taking her to her first ‘Scooby’ meeting. Then there was Oz. Tara felt the bottom drop out of her world; she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She had hurriedly left Mr. Giles’, making some lame excuse about a study group, and hadn’t seen or heard from Willow since. Finding Oz in Willow’s room early this morning, Tara understood why. She was afraid to cry…afraid that if she started, she’d never stop. She wanted Willow to be happy. If that meant losing Willow to Oz…well…then that’s what had to be.
She’d still be Willow’s friend…if Willow wanted…although…their spell casting would have to end. It was far too intimate and she didn’t know about Willow; but Tara knew she wouldn’t be able to handle being that close to Willow and not being able to hold her or sleep curled up next to her after their spell casting. She and Willow had made love for the first time the night they first used Tara’s doll’s eye crystal. It had been sweet and tender. Willow had been so tentative at first but had proven to be a kind, gentle and generous lover. Would she throw away what they had to rekindle what she and Oz had shared? ‘I honestly don’t know,’ she thought.
She was startled from her reverie by a knock at the door. Before she even opened it, she knew Willow was on the other side.
“Hi,” Willow said nervously.
“Hi,” Tara responded, stepping back so Willow could come in then closing the door.
“I can only stay for a minute. I have a class.”
Tara nodded. “Me too. I-I have class too.” This was it then – Willow was about to break her heart. Tara steeled herself for the hurt.
“I just want you to know that what you saw this morning, it wasn’t…”
“No. It’s ok. I-I always knew that if he came back –“ she didn’t want to hear Will say it wasn’t something she had planned and how sorry she was. She didn’t think she’d be able to bear it. ‘Just break my heart quick and be done with it,’ she thought.
“We were just talking. Nothing happened.”
Nothing happened. Tara smiled hopefully. “Oh. Really?”
“But, you know, it was intense. Just talking. We have a lot to talk about,” Willow said, frowning, “I feel like my head’s gonna explode.”
Tara hesitated, struggling for the right words and trying not to sound desperate. “Whatever, you know, happens…I’ll still be here. I’ll still be your friend.”
Willow looked surprised. “Of course we’ll be friends!” she exclaimed. “That’s not even a question!”
Tara struggled to maintain her composure. She didn’t want to upset Willow anymore than she already was and she didn’t want Willow to see how upsetting all this was for her, either. “But, I’m saying…I know what Oz means to you…”
“How can you when I’m not even sure? I mean…I know what he meant to me. But he left and…everything changed. I changed…and then we…”
“What?” Tara wanted to know how Willow felt. What she meant to Willow, but her heart broke as tears started forming in Willow’s eyes. Those beautiful green eyes that Tara got lost in.
“I don’t know. I just…life was starting to get so good again and…” Willow sighed and moved closer. “You’re a big part of that.” Tara wanted to reach out and hold Willow as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. “And here comes the thing I wanted most of all and…I don’t know what to do. I…I wanna know, but I don’t.”
The pain was so evident on Willow’s face that Tara hurt for her. She looked at Willow sympathetically and gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. “Do what makes you…h-happy,” Tara said, knowing that Willow might go to Oz, unable to bear the pain her lover was in.
Willow wrapped her arms around Tara and embraced her in a hug. Resisting wasn’t an option. She gently stroked Willow’s hair, letting the woman she loved cry; knowing her own tears would come later.
Willow gently pulled back from Tara and Tara saw the emotions play across Willow’s face. Lightly cupping Willow’s face in her hands, Tara gently kissed Willow’s forehead, then her eyelids and the tears from her cheeks. “I m-meant what I-I said…about you being h-happy,” she said, still holding Willow’s face and looking deep into her eyes. “I love you, Willow. A-and I-I’m not saying th-that to p-pressure you. I’m saying it b-because no matter what…I’ll be here.” Tara was surprised to see a small smile play on Willow’s lips but was even more surprised when the other woman reached up and cupped her face.
Returning the deep look, Willow whispered, “You mean so much to me, Tara.” She then leaned in and brought Tara’s face to hers. She lightly touched her lips to Tara’s and Tara felt the connection between them. It was unthinkable that Willow didn’t feel it too…especially when Will deepened the kiss and slid her hands to Tara’s hips, pulling Tara into her. She let herself get lost in Willow knowing that if Will left her for Oz, it would be that much more painful. She dropped her hands and wrapped them around Willow’s waist, pulling Willow into her.
Time seemed to stretch…she had no idea how long the kiss had lasted and was only vaguely aware of their movement to the bed. Willow was lying on top of her, still kissing her. Tara knew she should stop; but if she was going to lose Willow, she wanted this…this last memory of them together. She loved Willow and gave herself over to the passion.
Willow kissed her neck and moved to the hollow of her throat. Tara ran her fingers through Willow’s hair, pulling her head closer. Willow removed her sweater and her top and untied the top of Tara’s shirt. She lazily trailed her tongue into the valley between Tara’s breasts, taking little nips of skin between her teeth. Tara felt the heat rise between her legs and involuntarily arched her back. She held Willow to her, willing the moment to go on forever. Her lover’s breathing become labored as she slid down Tara’s body, undoing the button and zipper of Tara's pants and pulling them down her legs, teasing her body with kisses and licks up one thigh and down the other. She moaned as Willow’s hands slid along her inner thighs, separating her legs. Willow finished removing Tara’s pants then removed her underwear in one fluid moment. She moved back up Tara’s body, continuously kissing and licking exposed skin.
“Let’s get this off you.” Willow said huskily. Tara readily complied and her shirt joined the pile of clothing on the floor. Tara vaguely noticed that Willow was bra-less as Will removed Tara’s own bra, then removed her own skirt and panties. She then covered Tara’s body with her own, kissing her again. Tara groaned as Willow’s knee settled between her legs and rocked into her. She reveled in the feeling of their breasts rubbing against each other. Tara’s purchase on reality started to slide as Willow started kissing her neck and ear and she arched into Willow as Willow’s tongue danced across her heated skin; her hands constantly stroking Tara.
Willow moved down Tara’s body; gone were the lazy, slow licks. They were replaced by a hungry mouth as Willow sucked and teased Tara’s nipples to erection. She slid two fingers inside of Tara and began to slowly move them in and out, quickening as she sucked harder on Tara’s nipple. Tara gasped…then moaned…at the exquisite sensations. She moved her hips in time with Willow’s fingers, trying to make Willow go faster. Will slowed down and Tara felt the sweet mix of agony and ecstasy. Willow kissed a trail from her nipples down her belly and to the vee of her thighs. Once again separating her legs, Willow began kissing, teasing and suckling Tara with her tongue, her fingers still moving in and out of the blonde. Tara’s body responded as she lost the ability to think of anything but the beautiful woman making love to her. Her body arched and bucked, willing her to move faster. Willow responded by slowing down even more, causing Tara to moan. Willow began again, bringing Tara to a fever pitch then slowing down. Tara felt ready to explode…and just when she thought she would never be released from this exquisite torture, Willow expertly licked and sucked…sliding her fingers in and out of Tara and quickly bringing her to orgasm. She arched into Willow’s face and fingers as Willow urged her release forward again and again. The waves of ecstasy rolled over her as she tightened around Willow’s fingers. She held Willow’s head tight to her pleasure zone and Willow complied…continuing to lick and suck until Tara broke over and over again.
Tara’s breathing slowly returned to normal as Willow brought her back down, again with slow, lazy licks and gentle trails of her fingers. Willow moved back up Tara’s body with a few gentle kisses here and there until she reached Tara’s face. She kissed Tara deeply and Tara could taste herself mingling with Willow’s breath. Willow pulled the comforter over them and cradled Tara as she drifted off to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tara was disoriented for a moment as she roused herself from sleep. Then it all came rushing back to her. She had no idea when Will had left but she felt the emptiness as she realized she was alone. The tears came then. Even though she had wanted that moment, that memory, the pain of waking up and finding Willow gone was more than she could bear. She allowed herself a few minutes of self-pity then glanced at the clock. Damn, she was late for class…so much for a shower. She gathered her discarded clothing and slowly re-dressed. It hurt to breathe. Her legs were weak and she felt like she might collapse. Then she noticed Willow’s sweater was draped on the end of the bed and a glimmer of hope leapt in her heart. Willow had left it behind on purpose. Picking up the sweater brought Willow’s scent to her and she put it on over her shirt; Willow would be with her for the day. As she went over to pick up her books, the glimmer got brighter. There was a note from Willow on top of them.
“Tara,
When I woke up you looked so peaceful
I didn’t want to wake you. Did you know you’re
beautiful when you sleep? You are. I was running late
for class so I decided to go to my room, shower and
go to the library instead…it’ll be easier pretending to
study at the library than pretending to pay attention
in class.
I want you to know that I appreciate everything you
said. Thank you for loving me and for being so
patient and supportive. I’m not going to apologize
for this afternoon. I didn’t plan it…but I’m not sorry
about it, either.
I meant what I said…you DO mean a lot to me. I will
talk to you later today…I promise…I’m not gonna
disappear.
Always,
Willow”
Tara wiped a stray tear away and held on tightly to the two small glimmers of hope Willow had left her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The campus was completely blacked out and Tara knew it probably had something to do with Oz and the Initiative. She sat staring out the window at the darkness, broken only by scattered flashes of light from candles and flashlights.
She still couldn’t believe the day she’d had. Thinking about it now still didn’t make it feel real. From Oz in Willow’s dorm room to Willow reassuring her that nothing had happened and their impromptu lovemaking session. Waking up to find Willow gone had hurt her but she had found Willow’s sweater and the note and hope had stayed with her. The sweater still smelled of Willow and Tara had put it on, wanting to feel close to the woman she loved.
Then there had been the confrontation with Oz. Tara shuddered at the memory. Their early afternoon lovemaking had left Willow’s scent all over her. Oz had initially thought it was because of the sweater…but had quickly made the leap to their involvement, becoming even more agitated when he asked “Is she in love with you?” It was a question Tara had asked herself a lot over the past two days. It hadn’t concerned her that Willow hadn’t said it; there was plenty of time. Now she wished she knew for sure. Oz’s questioning the possibility fed the glimmer of hope. She remembered Will’s reaction at seeing her in the library – “are you ok?” Then the panic when Tara told her Oz had wolfed out in broad daylight…her first thought had been to ask if Tara was all right…then she immediately ran off to find Buffy and rescue Oz. Tara hadn’t heard from Willow since. She understood Willow’s need or desire to help Oz; she hoped it wasn’t more than just wanting to help an old friend. Her head understood, anyway…her heart? Not-so-much.
She could hear the blackout parties going on around campus; she had been invited to several by her dorm-mates, but parties weren’t really a priority just now. Her room was still dark, she hadn’t bothered to light any candles. She was just so tired. The effects of the past two days had left her wiped out…physically, spiritually, emotionally…she was completely wrecked.
The knock at the door startled her. Willow. It was Willow. Tara sighed for what seems like the thousandth time that day and mustered up the strength to steel herself again for the heartbreak she was sure was waited on the other side of that door. She hesitated a moment before opening the door. Willow was standing on the other side holding a candle Tara vaguely recognized as one they had bought together.
“No candles? Well, I brought one…it’s extra-flamey.”
Tara just stood there looking at Willow, too tired to try and read anything into what Willow was saying. Willow stepped in and handed Tara the candle, closing the door behind her. “Tara…I have to tell you…” Willow started.
“N-no, I-I understand. Y-you have to be with the p-person you l-love.” Tara felt her heart break in that moment. Willow had chosen Oz, she was sure of it. She watched as a smile crept across Willow’s face.
“I am.”
‘What?’ Tara thought, her brain not believing her ears. She looked at Willow in amazement. “You mean…”
“I mean.” Willow paused for a moment. “Okay?”
“Oh, yes.” Tara felt that small glimmer of hope she’d been holding onto all day explode and invade every inch of her. Willow had chosen her. Willow…loved…her.
Willow stepped forward, a serious look on her pretty face. “I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I’m gonna make it up to you. Starting right now.”
Tara felt the smile form on her lips as she looked playfully at Willow. “Right now?” She asked, still unable to believe that Willow had chosen her. That not only was she Willow’s…but Willow was now hers…unreservedly.
Willow smiled and nodded. Tara blew out the candle and Willow moved to her, taking the candle and setting it on the dresser. She turned back to Tara and Tara could see her smile by the light of the full moon filtering through the curtains. Willow moved to Tara and gently kissed her lips. She took Tara by the hand and led her to the bed. Once there, Willow laid her down and kissed her again, stroking her side lazily with one hand. Tara was surprised when Willow pulled back, still stroking her side. Willow looked at Tara, a soft smile on her lips. “Tara…I know I’ve never said this…and I think it’s long overdue. I love you. I am sorry for everything I’ve put you through the past few days. I think you should know…and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this before…maybe because I didn’t know it myself…leaving you for Oz was never really an option. In my heart, I knew that. I just didn’t know how to do it. Oz and I didn’t break up because we stopped loving each other. And I just didn’t know how to tell him I’d moved on. And…what makes it so much worse is…you almost got hurt…or worse…because I wasn’t honest. With you, or Oz or anyone about who you are and what you mean to me. I love you, Tara. It was an unexpected open window when Oz closed our door and I don’t know why it took me so long to finally admit that I loved you.” The whole time she’d been talking, Willow hadn’t stopped touching and stroking Tara and Tara reveled in the contact.
“I love you, Willow.”
Willow leaned in and kissed her again. Tara tried to stifle a yawn but couldn’t. She’d had very little sleep for two days. As much as she wanted to make love with Willow, Tara knew she couldn’t stay awake much longer. “Willow…” Tara said hesitantly.
“No more hesitation…you don’t have to worry…I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m just so tired. I want you…I want this…but…”
“I know, baby.” Tara’s heart leapt at the ease with which Willow called her “baby”. “It’s been a long couple of days. I haven’t slept except for that half hour this afternoon.” Willow smiled wickedly, making Tara blush at the memory of their ‘nap’. “Maybe we can just snuggle for now? I love you. I’m not going anywhere ever again. I’ll be here in the morning…if you want me to be,” Willow said, kissing the top of Tara’s head.
“Oh, yes. I want,” Tara said feeling the stress and strain of the past two days fall away. Willow loved her. Willow. Loved. Her. She lifted her face to Willow and Willow responded to the invitation by kissing her sweetly. “I love you, Willow.”
“I love you, Tara. So very much,” Willow whispered. “Let’s get some sleep…we can talk and” - there was that wicked smile again – “make up in the morning…or afternoon…or both. But for now…” Willow stood up and slowly stripped out of her clothes. Tara marveled at the beauty of this woman. “Your turn,” Willow said. Tara stood up and started to remove the sweater she’d been wearing all day. “No…wait…” Willow said, coming around to Tara’s side of the bed. Tara was amazed at Willow’s seeming lack of self-consciousness. Willow stroked Tara’s hair and kissed her tenderly as she gently removed her sweater and tossed it aside. She stroked Tara’s sides and slid her shirt up over her head. She kissed Tara again as she not-so-deftly removed Tara’s bra. Tara was instantly self-conscious and began to cross her arms in front of her.
“No…baby…don’t…you are so beautiful. Don’t hide from me,” Willow said, gently uncrossing Tara’s arms and kissing her neck, pulling her close so that their naked bodies made contact. “You don’t ever have to hide from me.” She ran her hand over Tara’s back and slipped her hands under the waistband of Tara’s pants and underwear. Tara stepped out of them as Willow slid them down her legs. “So beautiful,” she murmured, nuzzling Tara’s neck. Willow took Tara by the hand and led her back to the bed. Turning the bed down, she slid under the covers drawing Tara in with her. She then drew the covers over both of them and curled up next to Tara.
“Much better,” Willow declared.
“Much,” Tara agreed, feeling the warmth of the woman next to her. Her soft curves and smooth skin and the way her hands never stopped gently caressing Tara; it wasn’t sexual…it was more like Willow just wanted to keep touching her, reassuring both of them that this was real.
Tara yawned and Willow moved closer. “Sleep, baby…I’ll be here in the morning.”
“I know…I just…I don’t want to…you love me…I don’t want to sleep because no dream could be sweeter.” Tara said, knowing how silly (or…sappy) it probably sounded to Willow.
“I understand.”
They talked quietly for awhile, Willow’s hands in constant, almost unconscious, motion. Tara didn’t know how long they were awake but her last thought before drifting off to sleep in her redhead’s arms was that her life had just promised to get better than she’d ever thought it would.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tara woke with a start and rolled over. Willow was smiling at her.
“Good morning, my love.”
“You-you’re here…” Tara couldn’t believe she hadn’t dreamt last night.
“I told you I would be. And I’ll be right back. I have to pee but I didn’t want to go in case you woke up. I didn’t want to not be here if you did. I didn’t want you to feel even a moment of uncertainty. Never again.”
Tara smiled as she watched Willow throw one of Tara’s over-sized shirts over her head and leave the room. ‘She’s still here. She loves me.’ Tara still couldn’t believe it…and she also couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. The smile was still there when Willow came back a few minutes later.
“What?” she asked, removing the shirt and climbing back into the bed.
“I just can’t believe it. My life has changed so much – twice in forty-eight hours. I can’t believe you love me. You chose me. I can’t believe how lucky I am.”
Willow smiled and shook her head. “I’m the lucky one. You were patient. You waited for me. I love you, Tara. And…I believe I said something about making up for everything I put you through.” Tara watched as that wicked, wicked smile took over Willow’s face. “If that’s ok with you…”
“Oh…yes…” Tara said. Her best friend loved her…something Willow spent the next several hours showing her just how much.
_________________
Tara: W-Willow? I got so lost...
Willow: I found you. I will always find you.
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and hot too, but not the mind-blowing-hot that they could have had later on, but the shy
. The site is updated every Tuesday between Midnight and 8am Eastern Standard Time. Chapters Prologue through 8 are now posted (8 was posted last night), Chapter 9 will be posted next Tuesday.
