Title: Amazon
Author: Sadako (
extraflamey@hotmail.com)
Rating: Probably PG....
Summary: In the beginning of season 6 Tara is mad at Willow because of her abuse with magic. Willow not wanting to have Tara angry with her, made a spell that made Tara forget about the fight. Tara found out… and the fight starts at Xander’s apartment in the episode of “Tabula Rasa” and from now on, I’m gonna change the story a bit…
Pairings: Willow and Tara.
Feedback: Yes plz.... =D And don't be shy, just be honest! =) I'll respect every opinion.
Note: I know that Tabula Rasa is an awesome episode, and in this fiction the spell will not happen, so I apologize since now to the lovers of “Joan” and “Randy Giles”.
Note 2: Engish is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes that it might have...
[hr]Here comes the fiction… I hope you guys like it.[hr]
In Xander’s apartment…
“Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.” Tara said looking at Willow’s face with disappointment in her eyes. Willow was the person that she trusted the most, and being betrayed by her lover was a huge impact on her heart.
“Tara, I'm sorry, I…” Willow was feeling guilty, she knew Tara just by looking into her eyes, and to see Tara with those sad and mad eyes at her, Willow just didn’t have the words to say.
“Don't! Just ... don't.” Tara shook her head and continued “There's nothing you can say.”
“Tara, I didn't mean to…” Willow started to say to try to explain but Tara interrupted her.
“To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you after what Glory did to me?” Tara remembered when she got lost when Glory made her crazy, how lost and lonely she felt.
“Violate you? I ... I-I didn't ... mean anything like that, I-I, I just wanted us not to fight any more. I love you.” Willow didn’t know that Tara was going to be that mad at her. And tried to say things that could help Tara forgive her.
“If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.” Tara said softly.
Willow realizing that she was right, just said “But I-I just wanted to make things better. Better for us.”
“But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.”
“Okay. I'm ... I realize I, I did it wrong.” Seeing Tara angry, she just felt an unexplainable pain. Whatever Willow could say to make Tara to forgive her it seamed to not work right now.
“You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you ... you don't even consider the options. You just ... you just do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.” Tara was always a right and down to earth person, and this time was no different, she knew what was going on.
“But I ... I just wanna help people.” Willow said anxious.
“Maybe that's how it started, but ... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking. Including me.” Tara said with a disappointed voice. And she knew she was right, so she looked to Willow’s eyes, although it wasn’t a happy look, it was a decided eyed look.
“Tara, no!” Willow wouldn’t let Tara think about something like that. She was blind of her love.
Tara looks away and after some time of silence and hugely thoughts that neither Willow nor Tara wondered to once ever be thinking about it they were thinking now.
“I don't think this is gonna work.” Tara said with tears in her eyes.
“Hey. It is, i…it's working.” Willow started to panic. Tara looked at her and then looks down and Willow continued with her panicking. “Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I…I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.”
Tara hearing that idea sounded good, so she nodded and said. “ Go a week. One week without magic.” She suggested.
“Fine. Fine, that's easy!” Willow said excited.
“Go a week, and then we'll see.” Tara said not really believing in Willow’s promise.
Realizing that, the happy Willow’s face suddenly turned into sad eyes.
“I don't know, I just ... think we both need some ... I don't know, space.” Tara said looking at Willow. And thinking to herself Tara said it out loud “Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this.” And with sad eyes Willow asks…”Are you saying you're gonna leave me?”
“One week Will.” Tara answered.
Willow nodding and a lot sad she was drowning in her thoughts she was interrupted by Tara’s voice.
“I’m tired…can we go please?”
“Sure.” She answered with a low voice and getting up the chair they both took their coat and warned Xander and Anya that they were leaving.
The walk to Buffy’s house was terrible, all the connection that they had wasn’t enough to make they comfortable at that moment. All that Willow wanted to do was to hug Tara and in the walk as they look up to the sky to see the stars as they always did.
Tara was all the way also quiet and didn’t search comfort in Willow’s arms like she always did, she felt like she was walking alone, sometimes she looked at Willow and she was with her head down. She knew Willow, and she realized that Willow was deeply thinking about something… but something made her not ask.
So they went home and took a shower. Tara went first and already changed she was in bed looking at the roof.
The only words that they had exchanged since Xander’s apartment were “Are you going in the shower?”
“No, you can go first.” Willow had replied.
After Willow got out of the bathroom she changed herself got ready and went to bed.
Both looking at the roof, it was like it was their first time in bed and didn’t know what to do. Willow couldn’t stand anymore so she started.
“Tara?” She said looking at her.
“Yeah?” Tara turned and saw in Willow’s eyes nervousness and also… love.
“Ah… good night.” She said with sad eyes.
With a little nod she answered “Night.”
Putting a little smile on her face, she just turned her face to look to other side giving her back to Tara.
Tara turned her head again to the roof, after some minutes of silence Tara could hear something, someone was crying; an inside crying. Tara turned and put her weigh in one arm and the other arm she put her hand in Willow’s shoulder and whispered “Willow…”
Willow was crying, she was trying to hide her cry to not wake up Tara but that was almost impossible.
Willow felt Tara’s hand in her shoulder and couldn’t help but crying more, the feeling of Tara on Willow always made them feel different. Even though Tara was mad at Willow, seeing Willow crying made Tara’s heart hurt so bad. “I’m sorry.” was all that Willow could say “I know. I am too.” Tara replied.
Still in the same position they stayed like that for some minutes and Tara with her hand in Willow’s shoulder still wanted to comfort her but she knew what Willow had done, Tara was a strong woman but also very sweet so, she kissed Willow’s shoulder and lied with her arm around her belly embracing her from behind.
Not moving when Tara’s arm embraced her Willow hold her breath and started to breath heavily.
“Willow, are you ok?” Tara asked not getting out of the position. “No…” Willow turned to see Tara’s face. And Willow’s eyes were filled with tears that Tara had to clean them with her hand. Willow continued looking at Tara’s eyes that were making eye contact.
“It hurts…” Willow started to say and Tara was with her hand in Willow’s back and let her continue. “It hurts to have your hand laid on me and to know that they give me comfort and maybe I won’t have that felling again, it hurts to know that I have hurt you, and how stupid I am to make what I did, and how ironic is the fact that what attracted you in me now it’s making you go away, it hurts so much that…” Willow said freaking out and tears didn’t stopped coming out of her eyes, she only stopped talking because Tara had put her finger on her lips.
“You mean magic?” Tara asked, having a nod as an answer from Willow.
“Willow, I wasn’t attracted to your magic, I was attracted to YOU. Magic was just a part of what we had…”
“Me? I was nothing without magic. And meeting you gave me more power. And everything we had connected was magical.”
“Yes, it was. But even if you didn’t have powers your heart would be the same. Magic doesn’t change your heart, only if you want it…” Tara said looking down.
Willow looked at Tara looking for her eyes and not finding them she lifted Tara’s head to look into her eyes. “You are so beautiful that I don’t know how could you ever be with me, you have this incredible power inside that it’s hidden and I can see it how gorgeous and special it is. It’s so special for me and I screwed everything up.” Not breaking the eye contact Tara asked serious. “Why? Willow what I feel for you is a love that I didn’t know that I had in my heart and breaking it, it …”
“You don’t love me anymore?” Willow asked with fear in her eyes.
Tara’s eyes just had a bright blue eyes, after her mouth opened a few times not knowing what to say, which made Willow more nervous, noticing that she said with a really soft voice “I could never stop loving you, I… I just don’t know if it is enough anymore.”
“ I guess then it won’t be…” Willow said breaking the eye contact.
Tara got a weird face “Why? Did you do a spell?” Willow looked to Tara “ When you got mad at me I tried to quit with the magic, I really did… but… I couldn’t… I’m weak.” Willow said sad.
“What about the Amazon that it’s inside you?” Tara asked but happy for Willow telling the truth.
“The Amazon in me only works when you are with me. And I was trying by myself.”
“Why didn’t you asked for my help Willow?” Tara asked.
“Because… because magic is a part of us, I don’t want to break the connection between us… and… I didn’t want for you to see…”
“See?”
“See that I can’t stop, see me failing… that was one of the other reasons that I did the forgetting spell.” After Willow had let it all out it was like her conscience was clean again.
Looking serious to Willow, Tara said “I didn’t like the spell, but I like you being honest now.” Willow gave a smile but a worry came to her mind. Tara realizing that, she asked “What’s wrong?”.
“You are so sweet, and I can never stop being proud of who you are. Of who I love.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It is when you know that this might break...”
“What? You won’t keep your promise?”
“I couldn’t stop doing magic before, and now that you are mad with me I won’t be able to… and you are right, you shouldn’t be with me… I don’t deserve y…”
“Stop, don’t say that. Willow I want you to prove that I’m wrong, prove to me that I can trust you again, prove to me that you are still the powerful Willow that I met. Not powerful with magic, but powerful with love. I know you can do it.”
That was the incentive that Willow needed, giving a beautiful smile. Tara asked “I just… if you knew that you had a problem, why did you promise to not do a spell when you knew that our relationship was at risk.”
“Because… I was panicking, I don’t want you out of my life and I don’t want for us to break up… I still remember our promises to stay together forever, and knowing that I’m the cause of this might not happening just made me forget about the magic, but in the way home I knew I wasn’t strong enough.”
“You are, we are…” Tara said smiling at Willow.
“We are… I can’t stop magic alone Tara…” Willow said putting her hands on Tara’s face and said. “I need you, help me.”
Getting closer to Willow, Tara said “You can surprise me every time, those were the words that I was looking for. I’m glad you didn’t disappoint me.”
“So is that a yes?” Willow said exited.
“Definitely.” Tara said with a sexy smile receiving another from Willow.
“Are we good?” Willow asked.
Tara smiled and gave Willow a romantic and symbolic kiss, between the kisses she said “I’m sure we’ll work on it.”
Tara helped Willow get out of the dark magic, and together, they were Amazon again.
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