Fear and Freedom
PG 13 right now but will change,
Joss is the man with the money, im the woman with insomnia that needs something to keep me ocupied, i do this out of love for the W/T storys ive read, I get nothing out of this apart from a wee little wander in the W'T world, dont worry ive left bread crumbs, dont worry Joss im just playing, ill put them back just as i found them, oh and kate is mine,

bla bla bla, if you want it you can have it, asking would be nice though
this is the first fanfic i have ever writtern and would love some feed back, i have no one to bounce idea's of at two in the morning,

Willow finds a note that was not ment to be read by anyone,
( this is based roughly around when Willow and Tara started collage)
Tara will be comming in next chapter

CHAPTER one

As small children we feared monsters under the bed, and boogie men, as we grow older we are taught these fears are silly, childish and to be ignored, we begin to fear more physical things, for some it’s finding the zit from hell just before the big date with biff, the star of the basketball team, for others its anything under an A- for a test, for me its attention, any kind of attention. I hate it, I hate having to talk to people in groups, I hate having to explain my art, you see I’m shy, and for years I was told I was worthless, stupid “irrelevant, invisible, no one will want you, you stupid excuse for a child” even now, years on that voice still rings in my head, that voice destroyed any confidence that even thought about developing, that is the voice of my father, I feel nothing when apparently I should be outraged, I buckle and stutter when pushed to confrontation, I am not a ‘people person’ but give me a canvas and some half decent paint and I can make it sing,
I now live on my own time, I can give when and how much of myself as I see fit, I am no mans slave, I am no mans woman, I am a wiccan, I am an artist, and I am free.

Tara.”

Willow Rosenberg was stunned into silence, Sitting at one of the many available tables in the University library, Willow wouldn’t have noticed if all the books caught on fire, well that would have been a bit drastic but to equate the impact of what she had just this very second finished reading, a little creative flair is needed.

Willow slowly put down the note that she presumed had been used as a makeshift bookmark, sitting back in her slightly unconformable chair she stretched out her legs and steepled her fingers, ‘wow’ ‘ That was… intense, but what do I do? I can’t leave it in the book. It’s to personal, what if someone finds it, well obviously I’ve all ready found it but, but…its not meant for anyone but her.’

Willow sat, for what felt like hours, all thoughts of study now diverted to the small piece of paper sitting in her lap, the words seemed to burn straight into her, she knew next to nothing of the writer, but felt a kind of kindred to her just the same, somewhere in her subconscious willow knew that if she was to ever cross paths with her she would somehow recognize her,
Being a great believer that all things happen for a reason, Willow began to carefully pack away all the books she had gotten down to read, leaving the renaissance art book till last, note in one hand, Willow walked back to the reference section of the library, slotting the book back into place, She hefted her bag and began the short but brutally windy walk down to her dorm.

Arriving windblown, and disheveled Willow scowled at her grinning room mate, then pouted as only Willow could as her tactless roomie began to roar with laughter at the state of her, Willow having quite enough mocking set her bags down and went to look at herself in the mirror, after a brief self appraisal Willow relented and began to laugh helplessly with Kate.

Kate had moved in after Willow's old roommate had hightailed it back to orange county, Kate was a bit taller then Willow with short brown hair, she had cheerful blue eyes that shone when she laughed, and Kate laughed a lot. From the first day Kate moved in she kept Willow on her toes, her intelligence matched Willows step for step and both were dedicated students, although Kate was never one to turn down a night out, usually dragging Willow with her.
Kate also had a wicked sense of humor and never let the sometimes brooding Willow stay upset for long,

Willow was wiping the tears out of her eyes as she shook, trying desperately to control the hysterics, Kate was doubled over in her bed snorting with laughter as an excited puppy started growling and pouncing on her helpless owner. Kate had turned up the day she moved in with a puppy called Kansas tucked under her jacket, apparently Kansas was found in a bin just outside of town, Kate had come across her while emptying the trash, and it was love at first sight, Willow begrudgingly admitted that she had also fallen for the puppy, as had half the dorm, so Kansas became a sort of secret Mascot,

“Oh kay, Oohkay…. Breathing…. Would be good…” Willow began to regain her composure first, “ oh man I needed that” Looking over at Kate’s bed she nearly lost it again as a laughing Kate was trying to fend of an over excited puppy
Calling the pup, Willow walked to the adjacent room to give the dog a snack and make two coffee’s

“Are you making me a Coffee… by any chance?” came the expected voice from the other room, “No Kate im not making you a coffee, I was thinking of making you a tea… Kate? Thoughts?” after a considerable silence Willow put her head round the corner.. to meet the highest raised eyebrows in existence. Grinning like a Cheshire cat Willow laughed and started telling Kate about the note she found,

“…And I didn’t want to leave it there so I still have it, you know….is that creepy? Should I go put it back? I should go and put it back right? Maybe she’s already looked for it and I would be all stalker guy to go and put it back….”

Kate sat patiently sipping her coffee and looking at her watch, “Wow Willow we have today’s record, that was your longest babble yet, pass me the book,”
Willow rolled her eyes and past over a small yellow book labeled “book of babbling”
As Kate wrote in the book, Willow pulled the covers even higher around herself and Kansas playing with the puppy’s soft ears as she waited.
Kate had started the ‘book of babbling’ a week after moving in, and took considerable pride in its upkeep, after putting the book to one side, Kate leaned on an elbow facing Willow, “well as I see it, you have two options, one you can either take it to the library and put it in the lost\found box or, you can trust your instincts and go with the fact that it came to you for a reason. Now question? why were you looking in a renaissance book anyway? You no offences but you draw like a drunk three year old,”

Willow spat out her coffee in surprise nearly choking on it as she laughed, “….. a drunk three year old?… where the hell did that come from?…that’s just all kinds of wrong. And for your information, I was looking up a sculpture I'm writing about for English lit. You are such a shit! I cant believe you said that, now I have to change, oh and I have a Scoobie meeting tonight, so ill see you tomorrow ok, you know the rules, no out after dark, no inviting strangers in….yea yea yea I know you know smart arse don’t roll those eyes, ok, later Kansas, Kate… don’t get dead.” Willow laughed all the way to the bathrooms,
she and Kate had a great friendship,
Kate had been Willow’s rock as she recognized that she was attracted to woman. Coming out had been so hard, she remembered it so well, coming home one night in hysterics, her makeup running, and screaming, kicking and fighting desperately to deny her sexuality to herself, Kate and the world. She couldn’t be gay! “NO no no my parents expects me to get married and have children and and ….” About that time Kate had physically picked Willow up, and rocked her like a child, letting her cry for a time, then kissed her on the forehead and whispered.. “Willow, baby girl, welcome to the club,”

Kate had always been like a sister to her, Willow mused that now she really was a sister, well at least ‘family’ Kate was more like family then her own parents, Willow loved her dearly, she had taught her to be proud of who and what she was, even if she was proud very quietly, and she had also brought new light on what had been a taboo subject in Willow's life, ‘ the gays and those sorts’ Willow remembers her father calling them on occasion, the gays and ‘those sorts, turned out to be some of the best people Willow had ever met, she felt as if she was starting to come home.
After that night six months ago Willow had shared everything with Kate, right down to the Scoobies and the fact that they lived on a hellmouth, Kate always the surprise had handled it rather well, and now was very careful to carry a cross, at all times, and some times helped out when the scoobies were in need of a hand now and then.
Willow hadn’t come out to her friends yet, she still needed some time, but they had all accepted Kate which had filled Willow with hope, finishing her shower willow changed into a long flowing denim skirt and a hi kitty tee shirt, bundling up in a jacket she took a moment to build up the nerve to face the blistering wind on the walk to Giles house.

To be continued
Tara will be comming in next chapter

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

This is really great! I love Tara's little note and how wonderfully written it was!

An interesting beginning. I'm looking forward to updates.

Carleen

_________________

Frivolous Views

Interesting that Willow doesn't have Buffy as a roommate (is she even in college?), that certainly opens up possibilities. I also think it's a good thing Willow has friends outside the scoobies, friends who know her differently.

Tara's letter is both sad and good. From it speaks the sadness of Tara's childhood which doesn't sound like a happy one. The goodness is the part where she has appearantly realized one thing she is good at, painting. I have some idea who could give her some inspiration to paint, heh...

Grimmy

_________________
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

This is a great start and very readable. Im looking forward to how this new girl kate gets on in the Willow and Tara mix.

hey guys, thanks so much for your feed back, Ive tryed to explain a little better whats happening with the gang,

Bla bla bla joss owns everything..... bla bla kates mine,
If you want the story your welcome, just let me know,
hope you like the chapter, again let me know,

sare


Chapter two...
Arriving at Giles, Willow got all warm and fuzzy at the scene that greeted her, Anya was sitting with Xander on the couch obviously over sharing once again, Xander typically trying desperately to intervene and stop the 1000 year old ex demon’s graphic descriptions, Giles was standing by the window cleaning his glasses, and Buffy was flipping threw a magazine trying to block out Anya completely, Closing the door and hanging up her jacket, Willow was then swooped up in a slayer sized hug “Will, thank god you’re here, I don’t think I could have handled another vengeance story from Anya, please, please make it stop!”

Chuckling Willow disentangled herself from the desperate slayer and dropt down onto a spare seat, “I missed you to Buff, so Xan, how goes the job?” “its great Wills, I’m working some serious way up the ladder now, I’m first in line for that promotion, and making some serious mohla,” Xander replied rubbing his fingers together to make the point “Yes, He earns a lot of money now, he’s a very good boyfriend. I'm very proud” “Yea thanks Ahn, so Will how’s college?”
”College is great, my exams are coming round again so I’m all with the books and study, still tutoring on the side, so its all going quite well, Oh! Buff I looked into it, for you and I found a time table with all the classes you want to take, that works around your shifts at the Gym, You would have to be a part time student but that means you can study, work and be home on time to yell at dawnie. Now tell me… whose a clever wiccan?” Buffy raised one well groomed eyebrow at the look on Willows face, “Oh great, wise and wonderful wiccan I bow down to your…..wiccany-ness…Happy?”
Willow sat back in her chair, “Yes, yes I am”

“Like I run a bloody boarding school” Giles apparently had finished cleaning his glasses and had been waiting for sometime, “ Now if your quite finished, may we start the meeting?” Nods all round, “Good, I recently learnt from a reliable source that there is a great power returning to Sunnydale, It is very very valuable, we need it…..or need to get rid of it.” noting the blank stares Giles was getting he rather ruefully admitted, “….um.. that’s all I know… for now” and promptly started cleaning his glasses again.

”So let me get this straight. You made me leave MY money.. ok our money, for that?” “Ahn, I’m sure the G-man knows more then that he’s just pausing for dramatic effect, right?” silence being his answer Xander looked disbelievingly at Giles, “ Really? That’s all you know, well whose up for a rousing game of guess the next apocalypse?”
Buffy who had been sitting quietly, spoke up in her most ‘in control’ voice “ Giles that’s really all you know? Ok so… Giles can you get in touch with your source and try and narrow our search a little, I'm gonna drop by willies, and then do a sweep of the graveyard, Wills do you wanna do some research into any up and coming evils we should know about, Xan feel up to a little patrolling later on?”
“sure Buff, I’ll meet you at your hours at 11” Xander relpyed as he struggled into his ski jacket, “Come on Ahn I’ll walk you home,” “see” Anya whispered to Willow “He’s a very considerate boyfriend, he will get lots of Orga…” “AHN!…Hunny time to go,” Xander looked apologetic as he dragged his girlfriend out the door,

Buffy and Willow stood with Giles watching the couple go, “Who’da thought they would actually make it past there first date? Huh, something’s just aren’t meant to make sense. Anyway Will’s I’ll walk you home?” “Ta, oh! I can hide behind you, you can be my super slayer wind barrier, Night Giles,” “Wha…oh yes Good night Willow, Buffy, I'm sorry I don’t have much to report, its just my source seemed rather perplexed by this and he’s not one to worry lightly, Ill talk to some friends in England, well sort this, not to worry,”

“So Buffy, where is Dawn tonight?” Willow muffled from under jacket as they walked, Buffy rubbing her gloved hands together laughing, “ it’s a good thing I have slayer hearing Will, and Dawn is at some sort of god-awful slumber party tonight, the good old days aye, to much sugar, to much TV, falling asleep only minute before having to get up for school the next morning…, lucky for some! What with trying to support us, and paying the bills, and be the slayer im sure my hair is going to fall out soon, Willow will you still be seen with me if my hair falls out?” Willow looked concerned and turned to her wind blown friend, seeing a well practiced pout she knew Buffy was messing with her “ Of course I would!… if your were wearing a hat? That’s the best I can promise right now, Kay, still hard huh? I miss Joyce as well, you have been doing so well, I cant believe it was only a year ago,” Hugging her freezing friend, Willow began to remember, Dawn had stopped talking for about a month, she was almost working on auto pilot, nobody home, Giles had helped out around with bills until Buffy found a job at the Gym, Now they were finally getting back on there feet, Dawn was getting back into life again, and Buffy had matured ten fold, the sisters almost had a close partnership now, they were a team, them against the world,
It was one of the reasons Willow had moved into the uni dorms in the first place, she was supposed to move into the dorms first term with Buffy, then Joyce got sick and willow had temporarily moved into the summers home to help out, and to be on hand for patrolling, then when Joyce had died, the sisters needed space, they needed each other, so Willow had moved into her dorm a term late, It was a good thing to do, Willow suspected, it gave her an opportunity to grow, and stand alone, and had shown Buffy that she could be relied on, responsible and capable of supporting herself and her sister, Willow was grateful that the Scoobies understood and respected that she needed friends and a life outside of the gang, It was important to her, and brought a whole new dimention to Willows already crazed life,

”Whatcha thinking bout?” Willow was brought out of her daydream by Buffy stopping just outside her dorm, “I was thinking how lucky I am to have friends like you and Xan… and I could even stretch it to Anya, I love you Buffy,” “Ohh Will I love you to! Now get that butt of your inside! Its freezing and I have a patrol to do, Night, call me later if you find anything on this new big bad ok? Oh and say hi to Kate from me, night Willow”

As Willow walked inside the dorm room, Buffy began to realized possibly for the first time in a year, that she actually missed the red head, Not for her research or hacking skills, not for the convenience of having a witch in there midst, but just for the pleasure of her company, Willow was now a strong confident woman, she walked with a grace so missing from there high school days, Wondering when Willow had changed Buffy made a mental note to take more time just hanging out with the wiccan, she missed the girly chats about boys, and spending time together just hanging out, the most time they had spent together lately was when a potential danger arose and they had to work together to stop it.
Jogging to keep warm and to meet Xander on time Buffy began to work on the new puzzle of destruction in their path, ‘ here we go again’

…………………………………………………………………………………………

As Willow unlocked her door, she instantly smelt fresh ground coffee, and her mouth started watering, Kate working hard at her computer merely lifted her cup for willow to take, chucking quietly willow took the offering and sat on the end of Kate’s bed with Kansas and waited for Kate to finish,

Lost in her head for the second time that night, willow got a fright as Kate plopped herself down next to willow, “ you know… I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bedrock” Willow catching the last part looked up confused “haha glad I finally got your attention, Willow where were you? I was calling you for like a minute, where did you go in that head of yours, ahh I bet I know, …. “ I am no mans slave, I am no mans woman… Tara right?” Willow nodded grimly, She felt so connected to this woman that she had never met, why could she not get her out of her head, “ well my troubled friend, why don’t we go to the bronze, play some pool and you can tell me all about her, and how the meeting went? Mmkay because I have been very good and finished my English lit essay early, and now deserve a lovely alcoholic treat, now would your answer be yes, yes or would you like to phone a friend so they can say yes for you?”

A few hours later at the Bronze Willow had told Kate about the new powerful big bad. The fact that Giles had been worried enough to call the meeting knowing as little as he did worried Willow, If Giles was anything he wasn’t brash, British but not brash, Willow had then promptly off loaded all her Tara worries, After six games of pool, winning only two Willow felt better, off loading to Kate had made her feel lighter, now calmly sipping her light beer Willow began to really look around the room, Being a scoobie from way back willow had done the immediate sweep of the Bronze just as a precaution, but now as she looked closer she began to get a tingle of something not quite right, Giving Kate a quick heads up, Willow began to quietly walk around the Bronze trying to pick up what had sent her spider sense of,
The Bronze being dark with lots of nocks that were hidden, willow gave up aimlessly looking, she stood in the middle of the dance floor, eyes closed and started looking for energy that didn’t fit,

Colours flew around her, some dancing yellows, and bright greens, others more relaxed blues and grays, Willow ignored what she knew to be normal Human energy she focused more on any that was stronger then normal hoping to spot what was giving her the willies, Suddenly behind her Willow felt a great heat, her body prickling with recognition of power she turned quickly she saw a brilliant red energy shift and disappear, opening her eyes she desperately searched for the owner of such powerful energy, looking to the exit, she noticed a long blond haired vampire lead of some hapless woman, following instantly willow took out her cross and stake, After some close calls a few years back Buffy had taught both Willow and Xander forms of self defense, and they had years of experience fighting demons and vampires, Any thoughts of danger to herself never crossed Willows mind,

Taking a moment to refocus on the red energy, Willow waited until she could see it in her minds eye, then knowing the location of the vampire she burst threw the back doors, Moving to a defensive stance she slashed out with the stake where she had seen the red energy only moments before, to hit only air, Willow realized that she was in trouble when she heard the vampire drop its victim and grab her instead, ‘shit its fast’ was her last thought before she realized that with all the energy, all the power she had sensed before this must have been the big bad Giles had been talking about, and anything that made Giles nervous scared the hell out of willow, trying several of the moves Buffy had taught her Willow still couldn’t dislodge the Vamp, getting dizzy from lack of oxygen willow began to see stars, In front of her the brilliant red energy began to emerge from the shadows, ‘Oh Goddess what have I gotten myself into there’s more then one’

Another blond stepped forward from the shadows palm up, Willow only had seconds to realise she knew this energy,she recognized it, she had read it before, no mans woman…. This was tara, this was who she was supposed to be looking for, this woman was also the next big bad, with power like that no wonder Giles had been worried, the heat and power radiating from tara felt almost burning against Willows skin
Taking another step forward Tara smiled just over Willows sholder at the vampire holding her, a gentle smile, almost friendly, then her eyes turned a deadly blue and all trace of the smile was gone, willow swallowed painfully, suddenly a huge ball of blinding white light appeared from her upwards facing palm, The vampire holding Willow screamed in pain and crumbled to dust, Willow shuddered and gasped for air,

The back doors to the bronze smashed open and Kate, Buffy and Xander sprinted out, crosses and stakes raised, only to find Willow on her knee’s gasping for breath.
Willow looked up at them, and managed to breath out “tara” before collapsing,

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

Oh oh... ten bucks that Willow final word is going to be mis-interpreted by at least Buffy

I'm not entirely sure how Willow made the jump from powerfull woman to 'must be the threat Giles talked about' yet, surely she knows there must be 'good' witches with some power walking around? Those might not visit the hellmouth all that often but still it's a very rapid conclusion on extremely little facts (i.e. 1).

She started looking for something out of place in the bronze and all she spotted was a witch? She only saw the vampire after looking in the direction of where she last had seen the witch, hmm... troubling.

It appears Tara has found two things she's good at. I doubt she got fooled by the vampire or something . Willow's skills needs some training or she should simply not engage in physical combat, make a choice Will, preferably before you get vamped or something .

I like how Kate sorta pushes Willow more into having a social life, it's good for Willow to have broader group of people she knows. The group-talking in Giles' appartment was fun to, "now who's a clever Wiccan" .

So Joyce became sick a year earlier and as a result Willow went to college a year later, correct ? Not bad for Willow, who probably was ahead in classes for her age anyway, due to her being smart. This way she catch up on 'normal' life a bit.

Hmm.. another thing occured to me, how does Tara find the confidence to go out vamp-hunting? Should be interesting.

Grimmy

_________________
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Hey Grimmy,
I just re-read my chapter after reading your feedback and you know what your right, the energy bit sort of doesn’t make sense.. unless your me at three in the morning who cant sleep,

Let me try explain a little,
For something to send Willow’s very human/ unslayerish spider sense off in my mind it had to be bigger then a normal vampire, even though Willow would be paying attention to her surroundings, she was busy offloading and wining to Kate, and as we all know when Willow starts a babbling….

Um with willow not spotting anymore vamps with the nifty energy seeking trick, ( man could I have a more vague name for it,) well… we have two options, we can either believe that tara’s energy scared them away….or ( a more likely story) I got a we bit involved and forgot about them. (head hangs in shame)

Ok here is the big explanation, I have a theory that all energy and personal power is neutral, that the person makes there energy ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and I believe that you can also hide your power, I'm not talking about Magical power, but the theory apply just the same, In this instance Tara was able to hide her energy, making it neutral but not her power…which scares the bajesus outa willow, that much raw power is dangerous because of its potential
There’s a point coming up in the next update to explain why she does it,

Um oh yea.. Willow is going to get her arse whipped by the slayer for trying something silly like that, also I said she learnt self defense…. I never said she was great at it,:devil it’s more to show the development of character then to really bang her round by a vamp, I didn’t write it to prove she’s still an unco geek, I wrote it to prove she’s now willing to try, which I like, ;smile

And Last but not least, Willow’s little ‘oh look its tara…OH SHIT she’s the big bad, thoughts can be explained by first seeing the raw power, not knowing its good or bad, (its like if a person walked up to you on the street with a big ass knife, now he could be a very nice person just tottering of to work at the sushi bar, or he could be very very dangerous, the knife, is the tool, the person is the potential danger, even if he was a sushi chef I would still have a danger signal running up and down my spine) it’s the same for willow, and she jumped to conclusions, WAY to fast,

Um hope it makes more sense now, and keep the feed back coming, I need all the help I can get,

Sare

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

I really loved the group dialogue and interactions in this update, it was spot on, almost like reading a transcript of the show or something. I'm also getting a faith vibe about the kate character, which is good, since im abig fan of hers. Cant wait for the next one.

Hi Sare,

The energy-thing simply put; Willow is a witch and thus can sense other witches and/or their power. Willow is not a slayer hence can not sense vampires (she can of course recognize them visually since she has some experience). That about accurate ??

I do wonder how long Willow will be out. The longer she is out the longer Buffy & co. will think Tara attacked Willow, me thinks. Buffy tends not to take attacks on her friends lightly (and she is always ready to jump to conclusions )

I very much like the idea of Kate and a non-scooby (i.e. almost normal ) roommate for Willow. I would have liked Willow and Buffy to have seperate dorms during season4 for that reason. More new friends and such.

So Willow is afraid of someone with raw powers and not much control over them, hm.. mirror anyone ?? Ah well, we'll see that explained sooner or later, I got this feeling Tara and Willow will have some conversations in this fic yet, heh.

Grimmy

_________________
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Grimmy, you explain things so much better then I do, mate, it makes me laugh, i have a horrible tendincy to over explain, thanks for simplifying for (and to) me Im glad someone got the jist of what i was trying to say,

kimberley,
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it,

Im writing the next chapter right now, ive been writing and throwing away drafts all weekend on scrap paper, my friend sammie thinks im nuts,

will up update as soon as ive finished,

thanks for the support guys,
sare

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

I just started reading this fic today and I love it. The characters are true to the show and the non-scooby Kate is great. I really love her sense of humor.

Willow Willow Willow . It is just like Willow to try and be "stand-in Slayer" and be bad at it . Now I am alittle worried for Tara. Buffy does like to jump to conclusions head first, eyes closed, ask questions later.

Great start. I can't wait to see what happens next.

_________________
"Burst Angel"

For disclaimer see chapter one,

sorry for the wait guys the computer woudlnt let me in,
CHAPTER three-A

Buffy was the first to react, “ Willow!…. will its Buffy!” when Willow didn’t respond, she dropped down beside her friend to check for a pulse, satisfied that Willow was still breathing normally she took of her jacket and laid it under the wiccan’s head, Xander and Buffy then executed a perfect military search of the immediate area, Buffy taking the left and Xander the right, Kate, standing guard over Willow watched Xander kneeled down next to a sprawled woman, half hidden behind a dumpster, Kate couldn’t hear the conversation but soon Xander was helping her to her feet and giving her his cell phone, finishing her call she thanked him and walked back inside the club.
“Xan, Did she see what happened?” Buffy called as she returned to kneel next to willow
“No she got knocked out straight away so no help, She thinks she fell, and dreamed it…so naïve.
Sometimes wish I could go back to vampires and demons being story tales, but then I wouldn’t get to spend my evenings in such fine fine company” Kate watched as Xander floated of for a second to what Willow referred to as ‘Xander’s Happy Place’ “Anyways she’s got a friend coming to pick her up now,”
“Xan,” Buffy spoke from her kneeling position,“We need to get Willow warm, can you go the Jeep and grab a blanket out of the back for her, I don’t want willow waking up out here, were gonna take her to the hospital, and get her checked out” Xander nodded and walked back threw the club’s doors, keys in hand,

“Kate” Kate who had been standing back, jumped slightly, “What happened tonight?” Now Kate wasn’t a scoobie, and it would be a complete understatement to say she was out of her element here,
“Um… Willow and I came down to play some pool and chat, Willow had a lot on her mind and I thought a she needed a break, just to chill out and be a normal student for a couple of hours” Kate, worried about Willow missed the slightly pained look on Buffy’s face here “We were just finishing up our last game when Willow got a funny look on her face, gave me an ‘it’s a scoobie thing’ nod and wiccaned out, I called you guys but in the process lost her, only saw her walk out cos she was following a tall blonde I was watching… earlier. um, yea” Kate internally winced
’Oh god!…..Because of a blonde I was watching earlier?… way to sound sleazy Kate!
In my defense I was only watching her because she was checking out our not quite out of the closet redhead all night…’

“No Kate, that’s a good thing” Kate’s mental babble stopped as Buffy’s sentence started to register, Kate looked at Buffy as if she hadn’t heard her right, “Wha?”
“ Its good you saw her, because you can tell us what she looked like, she might have seen what happened to willow, Or… she’s what happened to willow, and if so…”
Kate not sure if she was supposed to have heard the last part or not, turning to Buffy with surprise written all over her face, Kate, not thinking, spoke her mind “What? You’re blaming this woman for hurting Willow, based purely on the fact she walked out of a club several seconds before her?”
Buffy met Kate’s surprised look with one of her own, “I'm worried, and was thinking out loud Kate” Kate looked down feeling like dirt, ‘way to go spaz, god what is it with me at the moment, why do I open my mouth without consulting my brain!’
A few minutes later both girls heard the exit door open “The Xan-man returns with gifts of wool and warmth, come on Wills "Quietly speaking the unconscious Redhead, Xander picked her up out of Buffy’s arms "time to go for a ride to your FAVORATE place! What’s that you say…the library? I’m sorry that answer is incorrect, the correct answer would have been, D, what is the hospital.”
shuffled the blanket around WIllow Xander lead the foursome to the Jeep,

Kate walked slowly behind Buffy, feeling every bit a stranger to these people, how they lived and what they had to deal with nightly, she felt alone, and so utterly unequipped to deal with any of it.

The short drive to the Hospital was uneventful, Buffy drove in silence and Xander holding Willow in the back didn’t seem to notice, Kate in the passenger seat could feel Buffy eyeing her every now and then, ‘great just great, could this get more awkward? Wait till she tells Willow that I accused her,’

Getting to the Hospital, the gang didn’t have to wait long to have willow checked, the hard part was explaining how Willow came to be unconscious, The doctor examining Willow gave all three a stern lecture about looking after their friends more carefully while out, after taking blood and various other tests the doctor excused himself to get them checked.

Xander and Kate jumped as Buffy stood suddenly and strode out of the small sterile room, Kate looked to Xander in confusion, “Where did she go?” Xander, stroking Willows hand softly shook his head slightly, “Don’t worry about it, it’s a slayer thing she does this a lot, she’s just gone to blow of some steam,”
But Kate was worried, getting up quietly, she walked to the car park, ‘it’s a long shot but its where id go if I needed to get away,

Seeing the slayers slight form sitting on the hood of the Jeep, Kate mentally high fived herself, ‘how very onagi of me’
Walking to the Jeep Kate began to prepare her ‘I'm sorry I questioned you’ speech,
Stopping just short of Buffy Kate took a breath, “Buffy I'm sorr…” Buffy looked up with tears running down her face, “Buffy? What’s wrong?”

Kate was taken back by the pained look on Buffy’s face. “Buffy?”
“Kate.. I um…I’m..” Buffy looked Kate in the eye, trying valiantly to be ‘the slayer’ and keep it together, Kate’s concerned eyes said everything Buffy needed, she looked down and a choked sob ensued “Why?
Why does she have to be brave?” Kate was rooted to the spot, “Why can’t she just leave it, just once?
I'm the slayer it’s MY job to get hurt, not her…. I know she’s going to be fine, but…but.… Today I realized something I had forgotten, I need Willow, not for her powers, not for her skills, just her, I miss her as my best friend you know?
remembering that today, was almost a day to late...”
Kate stood silently and watched the dam break, she watched the transition between the world’s greatest weapon to the twenty-two-old girl who needed a safe place to cry, Kate understood suddenly just how lonely being the slayer must be, stepping forward to hug the blonde, she was surprised to feel the desperation in the vice like grip she received, she said nothing, she offered no great advice, mealy respected Buffy’s tears, and acknowledged her pain.

Kate didn’t know how long they had been out there, She saw Xander running out from the hospital, and felt Buffy let her go, stepping back, Kate was floored by the sudden change Buffy made back into the slayer game face, ‘god that must be so lonely’ Kate thought,

“Buff? Everything ok?” “Xan yea, fine,” with a flippant wave of her hand Buffy completely disregarded her own pain, “What’s up? Has something happened with Willow?” “The Doc say’s her bloods are fine, all tests came back clear and as soon as she wakes up she can go home” Xander eyed Kate, “You ok?” Put on the spot Kate spluttered out “Oh. Yea good, good like pecan pie really” Xander and Buffy raised an eyebrow, Buffy tried to disguise her laugh as a cough, “Pecan pie?”
The sadness in her eyes had somewhat gone, and the slayer looked generally amused,
laughing herself Kate slid of the Jeeps bonnet and started walking back into the Hospital with two of willows best friends, her friends, “oh boy don’t even get me started…”

”Willow…” “Wills” Willow was floating, in a bright purple cloud, But the mammoth kept trying to serve her tea, and why were those penguins wearing boxers? “Willow” and who the hell was calling her, walking to the edge of the cloud Willow looked under it…huh no one there, “Willster” Well this just wouldn’t do, where were those voices coming from? Maybe the Mammoth would know…

Buffy, Kate and Xander were next to Willow talking to her trying to wake her up,
“She can hear us… her eyebrows are twitching, Willow its Buffy, time to wake up now.. huh yea that never worked when we were little either” “OH!” Buffy and Xander jumped slightly at Kate’s out burst, sheepishly Kate apologized, “ Woops, sorry, ok this usually works, Willow…Willow! Hurry up, your late for your mid terms!!”
Willow tried opening her eyes, muttering about protractors and pencil sharpeners, Buffy looked disbelievingly at Kate, who was sitting smugly until Willow tried to sit up.
Confused and disorientated Willow recognized a Buffy sized barrier stopping her, “Wha?” Opening her eyes Willow immediately shut them again
“Ow fuck! Why do my eyes feel like they have glass in them!”
Buffy looked panicked at Xander who was standing to get the doctor, Kate stood back as Xander returned with the Doc,
“Willow my name is Doctor Gully, I know it hurts but I need you to open your eyes for me” Doctor Gully was holding a pen torch over Willows eyes waiting for Willow to open them…after a few seconds of nothing Doctor Gully frowned, “Willow open your eyes” Willow, eyes shut tight pouted. “no.”
The doctor raised an eyebrow, “No?” the pout grew, “No.” Doctor gully started to chuckle, “Willow I promise you after a few seconds it wont hurt, please open your eyes?” Doctor Gully having children himself, was a very patient man,
After a few seconds debate, Willow inched her eyes open, they immediately began to weep, Willow looked directly into the torch until she thought she would pass out again, “Ok Willow, you can close them,” Willows eyes slammed shut, her eyes still watering she whimpered as she saw spots and felt nauseas.

“Willow, your eyes are extremely sensitive to light at the moment, they will need to stay closed and rest for a few days, it looks to me like your retina’s might have been burnt by a hugely bright light, have you looked directly into a strobe light tonight?”
Willow thought back to the brilliant light she saw tonight, “Tara..” “I'm sorry, I didn’t catch that what?”
Doctor Gully might not have caught that but Buffy sure did, ‘Tara, she said that just before she collapsed, Tara….ill find you, I promise,’

Willow sat in a wheelchair with patches over her eyes, feeling more and more disorientated as Xander wheeled her out of the hospital, not being able to use her eye’s was rather scary, and Willow began to see (no pun intended) how much she had taken her sight for granted,
Coming to a stop she felt Xander lift her and put her in Buffy’s Jeep, she could tell who’s vehicle she was in by the smell, not a bad smell mind you, it was the smell of Buffy’s perfume, and the slightly dry smell of ash, ‘another downer to being the slayer, ash EVERYWHERE’

After dropping Xander of at Anya’s with a promise to ring if anything happened, Buffy drove Kate and Willow back to the dorms, Kate looked over at the sleeping Redhead, ‘Willow, I’m sorry I dragged you out tonight, I’ll make it up to you’ looking up at the rear vision mirror Kate caught Buffy looking at her, smiling, Kate went back to watching willow sleep,

Kate unlocked the door to her and willow’s room, putting down the puppy they had just collected from one of the many puppy sitters, Kate opened the door wide to admit Buffy with a still sleeping Redhead in her arms,

Turning on the kettle Kate quietly sat and patted her baby, “Kansas were you a good girl for Meg? Yes? Ohh that’s a good girl” Kansas immediately rolled over to get a belly scratch, “ haha you my girl, are a scratch slut, you’ll do anything for it..Wont you? Wont you?” obliging Kate began to scratch the puppy’s chubby belly,
Hearing the Kettle click Kate started to get up to make coffee, a hand on her shoulder stopped her, “no stay there I’ll get it, how do you have it?”
“black and two please” Kate yawned as she stretched, crawling to her bed, sprawled out she watched Buffy make the coffee’s, Taking the time to actually look at Buffy, Kate could see why Willow had been attracted to her, ‘beautiful, and she makes coffee as well’ Buffy handed Kate a steaming cup, as Kate took a swig she mentally added ‘ a good coffee at that, I’m sold, hmmm Kansas is a scratch slut and her mommy is a coffee slut’ “mmm god I needed this, if I don’t get my six hourly dose I have been known to break down completely and bark like a dog” “haha, what is it with you….”

After a couple of hours, Kate had curled up in bed and fallen asleep, Willow had only woken once, and that was to groggily check she had turned the toaster of, assured by Buffy that the toaster was indeed of, Willow had fallen straight back to sleep, Buffy now sat cross legged watching willow sleep, ‘Tara, Tall blonde, burnt eyes, willow’ kept going round and round in Buffy’s head, making sure the room was safe, Buffy kissed Willow on the forehead, and then after a few seconds deliberation kissed Kate on the forehead as well, looking down at Kansas who had kept her company, Buffy patted her and left,

Out on the street the wind was icy, four in the morning made town pretty dead, so Buffy decided to take a walk,

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

Thankyou so much for the update i really enjoyed reading this tonight. First off i gotta say the way you handle subtle humour in this story is fantastic. Just little things like "Xanders happy place", kate revealing to buffy how she was checking out the blonde and in the hospital "willow your late for your mid-terms". haha so funny.
I'm also really connecting with kate here because she is the stranger and sort of alone in the group..If i was to place myself in the scoobies its how i would feel too.
I'm also loving the little coy moments between kate and buffy, concluding with that little kiss at the end. awww so cute, id love to see more of that please!!
But the proper ending was cool and dramatic..."Buffy decided to take a walk"....to tara?? No dont hurt her buffy.

Hmm.. Willow standing to close to a solar flare has longer lasting effects than I expected. Willow refusing to open her eyes for the docter was cute though .

Kate and Buffy talking was nice, I soooo agree with Kate on giving Willow at least a partly 'normal' life (if you define a student-life as normal of course:)). Still it can't be easy for Buffy, horrible job-hours and hardly any recogniction for the good she does. Of course Willow has to at least try and safe some innocent person from a vampire, even if Willow herself isn't all the up for the task... thats just Willow . Adorable, but a bit dangerous... hopefully she'll stop doing that, at least do it another way or something.

I doubt Buffy can find Tara at 04.00am, I would think Tara is asleep at this time. She needs more sleep than Buffy I'll guess . I do wonder if Tara will learn that Willow is blind due to her spell. I know it's temporary, just wondering how Tara will take that sort of news.

Regardless, Tara did save Willow from that vamp.

Grimmy

_________________
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Hey guys,
Its been a while before updates, sorry had some major things happenening,

Grimmy, -i just read your comments, it did take Willow ages to come to, but i sort of needed her out for that long,
and your gonna hate me but...Tara is out at four in the morning, (wince)
its explained a little,


Kimberly, cheers, the plot definitly thickins,
and go the humor, I write what i personally think is funny, if its funny for you guys all the better, I have a very wierd sence of humor, and im pleased its making you have a little chuckle now and then,


Okay, the chapter then?...
For a proper disclaimer see the first chapter,
its now a PG, as there is ( and was in the last chapter some swearing)
um Kates mine, Everyone else belongs to Joss,
Im just having a totu with them, ill put them all back real nice like,

Anna, thank you for being my suragate Beta reader,
.........................................................................................................


Hands shoved deep into pockets the slayer, killer of all things evil, protector of the earths hellmouth, was tunelessly singing as she walked along, “So kiss me…beneath the milky twi…..” Buffy stopped mid sentence, … ‘no no no, you just don’t get this lucky’, walking 100 metres in front of her was a tall blonde, walking a little faster Buffy began to remember what Kate had told her about the blonde she saw as they had coffee tonight,
Long blonde hair…. check,
Skirt, check.
Walking a little faster Buffy let herself remember just how much pain Willow had been when she had opened her eyes, focused completely on the blonde Buffy caught her round the elbow with bruising grip, “Tara, Time for a chat” Spinning Tara round Buffy was ready to Ki…kick herself, Her ‘Tara’ turned out to be a ‘Trent’, a Cross dressing Trent in a very very lovely skirt and blouse combo,

Releasing the highly aggravated gentleman … woman …person, Buffy apologized and turned to walk away, walking quickly threw the middle of the street, arms crossed, head down was another tall blond in a skirt, Buffy rolled her eyes, ‘I was right, I’m never that lucky’
Not taking another very embarrassing chance Buffy decided to play it safe, ‘Oh if only Giles could see me now, Slayer, master hunter, stalks prey with the grace of…’
“Oi…Tara!”

A slight hesitation in step was all the Slayer needed, Buffy was on Tara faster then Tara thought humanly possible,
Her arm held in an unbreakable grip, Tara looked up panicking, “Whaa…What do..do you…want?..”
Tara’s eyes surprised Buffy, so deep, and right now so frightened,
Softening her grip Buffy felt herself calm considerably,
“What happened at the Bronze tonight Tara? What happened to Willow”

Tara breathed deeply, and thanked the goddess her mother had been patient enough to teach her to calm emotions, it was a hard skill to learn, and Tara was grateful at this moment to have learnt it well, carefully measuring the woman holding her, Tara understood she was in the company of great power, trusted power, she was in company of “..th..the slayer” Buffy nodded,
Speaking slowly, clearly, Tara began to relive the events of the night,

Buffy listened with out releasing the blonde, she to could feel power, but was unable to attain just how much,
“I…I went to Th..the Bronze tonight with a few friends….an…and… when I fe..felt someone…your fri…friend?”
Buffy nodded “Her names Willow”
“ When I fe..felt Willow searching, I…I hid. In the magical sense, Then I slipped out th..the back, she followed me, an…and then there was a…a…vampire..”

Buffy was quietly assessing Tara as she spoke, ‘she’s not lying. She’s genuine and by the sounds of it she also saved Willow’s butt tonight to”

As Tara drew to a close, she absently rubbed her arm, as Buffy had let it go some time ago, “ S..so how is Wil…Willow?” Buffy sighed rubbed her eyes, ‘mm not great, her eyes are burnt, probably from the light spell you did, saved her life though so I’m sure she’s going to be grateful, She collapsed as soon as we turned up..” “Oh! Goddess!..I’m….sor…sorry I ran.. but I’ve..never ha…had to hurt anything before, it doe…doesn’t sit well with me,” Tara looked down, her hair covering her face,

“Ah so that’s why your out in the middle of the street at four…” Looking at her watch “no no now five in the morning, I'm sorry you had to do it, but I for one am not sorry that you did it, you saved my best friend, Thank you.”
Tara looked up, eye to eye with the slayer she could see sincerity and genuine appreciation, raising her head and standing at full height, Tara stood a couple of inches higher then Buffy, “Your welcome”

“Now let me walk you home, do you live on campus?”

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

“But she didn’t live on campus, she lives in one of the offsite buildings, down Quarts street, she’s coming over later…” Buffy and Kate were walking down towards the supermarket, Buffy had come over this morning to check on Willow, and after giving a Twenty minute lecture about not to being a hero, and how much trouble she was in, Buffy had then been suckered in to making Willow waffles, the down side was Kate and Buffy had to trudge down to the supermarket to get half the ingredients, Well Buffy had to get the ingredients, Kate had to walk Kansas, so the threesome had walked together,

After a while Kate spoke up “So what’s she like?” and quietly added in her head ‘I could set Willow up with her, she looked interested last night, who knows, she could be exactly what Willow needs’
“Huh, who? Tara?”
“Yea is she nice?” Buffy snuck a quick look at Kate; she was walking with her head down and was absently biting her nails,
‘The word your looking for it coy Buffy, you remember that one?’
“Yea she’s…nice, ….Why?” ‘…Am I getting angry?’
Kate looked up at Buffy’s almost defensive tone,
“Um, just wondering really, She looked nice”
Buffy’s head shot up,
‘Piss it!’ realizing how Buffy might have taken what she said, Kate tried to backtrack, “I mean. She seemed nice, she didn’t look nice… well she did but.. I wasn’t looking…at her… like that….”
Kate looked round realizing they had walked straight past the store,
“Buffy we’ve walked past the Supermarket”

Heading back Kate was very aware of Buffy right behind her, shaking her head Kate realized exactly what was going on,
’Oh dear god could I get any more flustered?’
Buffy didn’t understand why her skin was on fire, or the blood pumping threw her ears, turning Buffy followed Kate and a very confused Kansas to the entrance of the store,

Kate turned suddenly, Buffy a step behind her, “Buffy, how would you feel if I did think Tara was nice looking”
Kate was never one to beat around the proverbial bush when it came to woman, she had been down this road enough times to know being forward and upfront was always best,
Buffy blanched and stuttered for an answer,
“Wha..I..I would be fine Kate, you know none of the Scobbies have any problem with you liking woman”
“Thank you I appreciate the sentiment, but you didn’t answer my question, I’ll rephrase, How do you, Buffy Summers, the slayer, feel about Me, Kate McCloud, the lesbian?

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

After Willow had sent Buffy and Kate of for waffle ingredients Willow had gotten bored, and grumpy ‘stupid eye patches, stupid vampire…. stupid Willow, ‘ oh look at me I’m a hero…oh willow your so brave and broken…. stupid sarcasm’
Fifteen minutes later completely against her will, Willow had fallen asleep.

‘Fire danced in front of her, as she tried to escape, her body held down by something, ‘can’t move…help someone’ the fire danced closer, burning her, whimpering, willow began to thrash,

Tara checked the piece of paper one last time before knocking, hearing a muffled voice, Tara waited, then hearing a scream and a thud Tara didn’t think twice about magically unlocking the door and rushing in, seeing a small redhead trying to untangle herself from her blanket Tara realized this must be Willow,

Taking a step back Tara turned to knock on the door to make her presence known,
“Tara” It wasn’t a question, turning back towards the redhead; she was surprised to see the patches over Willow eyes, “W..Willow…” Tara returned the greeting, wondering how Willow knew it was her, she was curious to see how she was being recognized with out sight,

Willow sat, in her nest of blankets on the floor, head tilted to the side, frowning slightly, Tara stood and waited, holding her questions. Surprised by the ease she felt in this Woman’s presence,
Willow finally looked up to where she guessed Tara standing “I fell..”
‘So adorable’ “I se…see that, you want a ha..hand up?”

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

Hey
Ok just came out of hiding to do this *Puffs out chest proudly*
its my pleasure and Your welcome!

Iv been loving this fic from the get go and with each new chapter you put out I fall in love with the characters just that little bit more

YOU ROCK SAREJESTER
and now its back in to hiding for me

Your Humble Reader
Anna

Thanks for the update, i liked it a lot. Especially the "Oi tara" bit,lmao thats like me in town if i spot someone i know... I'm glad Kate is now fully out to Buffy, brave girl. Looking forward to seeing how these two develop. The ending was so lovely, just really nice how Willow knew Tara was there without even being able to see her.

Hey Kimberley,

Piss, I thought that I had writtern Kate in as an open lesbian, I didnt, woops, I wrote in the first chapter
"Willow hadn’t come out to her friends yet, she still needed some time, but they had all accepted Kate which had filled Willow with hope"
I kinda ment that to be the scoobie gang knew she was gay, I really didnt make this clear enough my bad,
Im glad you liked the update,
cheers
sare

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

So far so good...you have me interested! Can't wait to see how Buffy reacts to Kate! Good job!

Oooh! i can become easily addicted to this fic! I like it! I like it! MORE!!!!!!!!!

_________________
Pax!

Hey guys,
sorry i havent updated in a while, (to anna especially)
this week has just been mad,
i had a family reunion, with all 8 aunts and uncles and all 30 cousins, and thats just from one side of my family,
needless to say it was horrible, half of my family is in a very tight church that thinks queers are the devil and subsuquently should go back to hell,
also had car troubles, a couple of weekends ago, two horses bolting out of a hiddern driveway recked my car, the horses ok, me and sammie are ok, the car was fucked, never take on a horse at 70km\h the horse will win, this weekend i had to get a new car, and that had drama's to,
so feel sorry for me, but not to sorry
and i will update tonight, half of its written half of its still in my head,

mmmmmkay
sare

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

Hey guys,
Sorry This took so long,
Thanks SOoo much to my S-B-R (surogate beta reader) for kicking me in the proverbial pants to hurry up, Thank her, I do.
here you go,
rated PG still,
discalamer in chapter one,
CHAPTER four

Willow raised her hand to be hauled rather gently to her feet, ,”O..Okay, a slight sh…. shuffle to your le..left and there’s the bed,” Obligingly Willow took a couple of small steps, and sat down dragging her blanket entourage with her, “Tara?” Tara looked up at the sound of her name, ‘My name feels like honey coming from that mouth, I have a sexy willow-said name’ Trying to hide her lopsided grin, Tara replied “hmm?” “Can I talk to you for a minute? I….” Not being able to find the words Willow sighed and decided to be bold “I…I need for you to answer some questions of mine”
“Oh…Ok….okay,…su…sure….”

‘Oh godess, I made her nervous, her stutter is worse’
“Okay, questions it is, Do you wanna sit?..a little?.. maybe?”
Tara chuckled slightly, “Sure, floors goo…good for me,”
Tara sat and leaned back on Kate’s bed, a metre away from Willow, feet within touching range of Willows bed,
Feeling Tara settle, Willow leaned back against the wall, “Okay” rubbing her hands together Willow looked to where Tara was sitting, “First things first, how did you get in here?…I thought Kate locked the door on her way out”
“Oh that…I heard you scream as I knocked, and thought som…something might have been wrong, so I …mighthaveopenedthedoormagically…
I'm re..really sorry, I thought you might have been in trouble.” Tara had gone slightly red explaining her brash behavior,
“Oh…” Willow sat pondering, and playing with her fingers, almost absently she spoke aloud “Alohamora….”
Hearing a throaty chuckle Willow looked up confused, “Wha?”
“Alohamora? Willow…did you just qu…quote Harry Potter?”
Willow looked up, “um… I might have….. its just Hermionie can unlock doors, and apparently so can you, and that’s really powerful magic’s, so you would be the Hermionie while I would be the Ron because I cant, well not yet so I'm still the Ron, Not that there’s anything wrong with Ron its just he’s…he’s….ANYway…..moving swiftly along, completely disregarding my Harry Potterish type Babble, Next question. You saved me.”

Through out Willows babble, Tara had been quietly glancing down at her watch, ‘That is a long time to talk without taking a breath…maybe she has gills that I’m not aware of..’ Looking up when Willow had finished, Tara was not sure how to take her last sentence, saved her? “..Well I wouldn’t say ‘Sav..saved you’ more like accidentally interfered on purpose, I'm really sorry the spell hurt your eyes, I didn’t have any time to warn you, How are your eyes?”

Touching the patches on the body part in question Willow assessed how she was feeling, “Eyes are ok, sore and itchy, but it’s a whole lot better then my other option, a vamps dinner…. Hey Tara?”
“hmm?”
Willow took a deep breath, “Tara thank you. I mean really thank you, I owe you my life, or at least as much of my blood as you can handle in one sitting…” Willow jokes round to cover her nervousness,’ Tara was paying close attention, Willow continued oblivious that she was being watched closely “….I wish I could look you in the eyes and say this…”
Hearing Willow’s sincerity, Tara couldn’t help but take the redheads hand,
Feeling Willow jump slightly at the contact, Tara immediately tried to take the offending hand away, scolding herself

Willow had gotten a shock, and jumped slightly at the feelings that flooded her body as Tara had taken her hand, but as far as Willow was concerned Tara could take that hand and tattoo her name on it, ‘It feels so damb right’ Feeling Tara try to pull away, Willow squeezed it gently and continued speaking,

Feeling Willow squeeze her hand, Tara relaxed and let it stay with its new best friend, quietly treasuring the small moment being shared.

“…Wish I could look you in the eye and say this but, I feel like…like…I should already know you, your somehow so familiar to me, I can feel you, I can feel your power Tara, it’s a flame, a pillar of light”

Tara nodded slightly, small things slipping into place, “That’s how you knew it was me when I opened the door just now?” Willow nodded…”. In the club you were searching, you found me…why?”

“It’s a good thing I did…” Tara looked up from studying their interlinked hands, “Why? What does that mean?”
Taking a deep breath Willow tried to explain herself “Buffy told me you knew she was the Slayer, so you’re also aware we live on a hellmouth?”

Tara started to feel worried, a few years ago she had to deal with the fact that her family had lied to her about turning into a demon to keep her scared and under thumb, so she didn’t like where Willow was going with this, unconsciously she took her hand from Willow’s and folded her arms defensively, “…I’m aware of that, again what does that have to do with me?”

Willow was acutely aware of Tara’s hand sliding away, taking a moment to let everything sink in Willow continued “Giles, Buffy’s watcher told us last night that we had to look for great power returning to Sunnydale, And that we would either need it, or need to destroy it, so at the bronze I was…”

Tara who had sat in silence, interrupted very quietly “…So have you and Buffy decided yet?”
Frowning Willow asked, “Decided on what?”
Tara shook her head “decided if you need me, or need to get rid of me, because you obviously think I’m this great power, you were searching for power at the Bronze, you found mine, what would you have done if the vampire hadn’t have grabbed you, what would you have done to me?
I’m not the power you’re looking for Willow, believe me…”
Getting up to leave, Tara was a little disappointed, she had expected more from the slayer and her gang, she had hoped for more from Willow…
“…I'm no threat to you or your slayer,” It chilled Willow to hear Tara speak so calmly, sound so disappointed. But what chilled Willow even more was the fact that Tara was no longer stuttering, ‘ I hurt her, I opened my big mouth and hurt her, she’s right it’s exactly what we thought.
She is so powerful,
I can feel her, feel her hurt, and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry,
Tara I'm sorry’
Willow, her head down could feel the energy lazily swirling around Tara as she stood to leave, It didn’t feel dangerous, but it was powerful.
Tara was perfectly in tune, in control. Willow felt like crying, she couldn’t believe she had broken something she wasn’t even aware she had, or needed.
Walking to the door, Tara left in a much more dignified exit then her entry, Tara shook her head as she looked back, ‘Willow, stay safe’
Closing the door behind her quietly, Tara began the short walk back to her small student apartment, there was a canvas waiting that was going to take the brunt her emotions, ‘I feel betrayed…again…always. You think I would have stopped being surprised’
Head down, Eyes watering Tara narrowly missed a collision with Kate, neither girl noticed,
…………………………………………………………………………………………..
Head down, eyes watering Kate walked swiftly back to her room, the scene in her head still rolling over and over again,

Kate turned suddenly, Buffy a step behind her, “Buffy, how would you feel if I did think Tara was nice looking”

Kate was never one to beat around the proverbial bush when it came to women, she had been down this road enough times to know being forward and upfront was always best,

Buffy blanched and stuttered for an answer,

“Wha..I..I would be fine Kate, you know none of the Scobbies have any problem with you liking women”

“Thank you I appreciate the sentiment, but you didn’t answer my question, I’ll rephrase, How do you, Buffy Summers, the slayer, feel about Me, Kate McCloud, the lesbian?



Buffy’s eyes had widened, and she looked anywhere but Kate’s face, an international distress signal for ‘holy shit’
Kate’s shoulders slumped she knew what happened now, how many had she seen it from; Julie, Gemma, Hannah.
She thought Buffy might have been a bit stronger,
Standing calmly Kate had waited.
“How do I feel about you?….I’m not gay!, I mean its great for you to be gay, all with the gay support here but I’m not gay.
I like guys, yea..all with the guys here, with the chest hair and the…the um…. I'm not gay Kate, I’m sorry but I’m not, so I um…Look I’ve gotta go, Ill visit Willow later”
That said, Buffy had made a quick exit,
Kate sat down numbly on a nearby bench, she didn’t begrudge Buffy for her reaction, the Slayer still had her respect its just that Kate had asked her to fight a foe she probably didn’t even know she had…parts of herself, The way that Buffy had desperately denied being gay, her panic and her fear made Kate realize that even if Buffy was gay, She would have a hell of a time accepting herself, she already was a minority, what with living on the hellmouth, being the slayer, why would she go out of her way to be even more excluded, ‘Buffy the Lesbian Gay Type Vampire Slayer’
Kate had seen worse reactions and also better,
Hauling Kansas up for a hug, Kate had been once again reminded of how much she loved her puppy, ‘Everlasting love, kindness and support in a convenient travel size pack’
A short while later when her throat stopped hurting from keeping down the quivering lip and tears, Kate stood and walked back home, Pancakes forgotten.
‘Time to talk to my other everlasting love, kindness and support package I think.. Don’t you agree Kansas?” Yapping the puppy began to yank Kate back to the dorms, happy to be heading home as well.
………………………………………………………………………………………

“Sorry” Kate mumbled, as she was pulled out of her memory by the woman she had almost bumped into in the hall, Kate began to unlock her door and stopped dead at the expression on Willow’s face,
………………………………………………………………………………………

Buffy ran, past the school, past the house….past the line of no return, “ello pet”
……………………………………………………………………………………

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

This is a good story. Though there was a lot of heartache in the last update.

I take it that Kate's line of questioning wasn't to see if Buffy has any problems with her being gay but to see if there was any possibility that Buffy might return her feelings. Buffy's reaction seem to have dispelled any such hope.

Poor Willow. First she words her explanation rather badly, then she gets so upset at having upset Tara that she's not able to explain what she meant, and just lets Tara leave.

And who had Buffy gone to see. It sounded a lot like Spike to which I'd say eww, she'd be better of with Kate.

_________________
02/28/2007

I loved the willow and Tara start, really beautiful, i could so feel Tara's disappointment. I love these two taking these little baby steps, like holding hands. Its just like real life (or chatting on msn haha) everything is going great and then somehow you screw up and everything gets all frosty.
I like Kate's strength and forwardness and the contrast it makes with the willow/tara section...I hope in the next update she just grabs Buffy and gives her a massive kiss lol...and hopes that Buffy doesn't kick her ass.

The ending was a bit confusing...was that Spike?...haha it reminded me of that pirate in Pirates of the Caribbean, who says to Keira..."ello poppet"!!...So is Buffy gonna sex him up then??

Hey guys,

singlegirl- cheers for the support, I really appreciate it, more is deffinitly on the way,

kimberley- I might have mabye have been watching a little of Pirates of the Carribiean earlyer, so woops, I didnt mean to crossover with my fanfic, so to all of those who got a little excited thinking i was bringing Kiera over to Buffyvill im sorry, shes staying with the pirates,
and I agree, tara and willow cuteness will continue,

Jusin- Yea theres a little angst in this fanfic, i think it makes it more human,
and unfortunitly there is a teeny tiny little bit of spike in this chapter, But dont run away yet, I promise you its short and painless, I need him so buffy can keep growing as a character,

Anna- My beutiful S-B-R, hope you like,
and with out further ado,


Disclamer see chapter one,
appologies for all those spike haters, hes only here for a little bit,
more pg 13ish,

CHAPTER Four A

“What brings you to this end of the graveyard so early?” Spike stood up as he spoke and sundered towards the slayer, eye’s wide with intrigue and cockiness,
Buffy stood breathing deeply at the threshold of Spikes crypt, Forcing her legs forward faking the confidence she didn’t actually feel, Buffy grabbed the cold vampire by his neck and kissed him hard, after a few shocked seconds Spike in turn picked up Buffy and moved her to his bed, shrugging of her shirt and nipping her neck Spike smirked, “well hello pet”
Buffy lay numb, and started to pay attention to what her body was feeling,
‘I feel nothing, why?’
The smug smile spike had plastered on his face was really starting to annoy Buffy,
‘I'm supposed to feel sexy….wanted or at least a little horny.
I. Feel. Nothing. Why?
The harsh sound of Spikes zipper lowering grated Buffy’s ears irritating her,
The feeling of Spike’s body close to her was intrusive and not at all what she craved,
One word came to mind, one name, ‘Kate…’
Getting angry, Buffy kicked out landing a confused Spike straight in the groin.
“Ahh! Bloody Hell!’ Spike was on his knees wheezing for breath, holding himself and cursing, “ What the BLOODY HELL is your problem woman? You’re the one that came here! You started this”
Buffy pulling her shirt back on felt confused and dirty, Mind going a mile a minute, she yanked her clothing back into place, Looking at Spike she was genuinely sorry, she had really really stuffed things up, “Spike, I'm sorry, I was wrong to come here” Feeling her tears begin to fall Buffy left without looking back at the pained vamp on the floor,

Spike began to pick up his fallen clothing mumbling about ‘bloody women, and hormones’ picking himself up of the floor he gingerly sat back in his comfy chair to watch the rest of passions, feeling unsatisfied and bruised.

…………………………………………………………………………………………


“Willow, what’s wrong?” Keys still in the lock, Her hand still pushing open the door Kate only needed to look at Willow for a few seconds to realize something was definitely not okay, “Will?” Yanking the keys free and letting the door slam close Kate dropt the mail she had been holding, dodged the puppy and was sitting on the end of Willow’s bed, holding the redhead in her arms,

“Will, Baby girl, what the matter? Talk to me” Kate looked around the room quickly to see if anything could give her any clue to what was wrong with her roommate,
Nothing out of place, Kate tried again “Willow?”
Sniffing Willow spoke quietly “Tara”
“Tara? What about her?”
”Tara…was here, an…and she”
As Willow told Kate about what had happened Kate began to understand why the Redhead was so upset, “And she just left, actually got up and left?” Kate was stumped, “ Well.. I hate to tell you this but not your best wording Wills” Rubbing Willows back softly Kate slumped back against Willows headrest, “Don’t worry, I stuffed up today to”
Willow looked Kate’s way “Yea? How, what did you do?”
“augh..” Rubbing her eyes and feeling drained, Kate told Willow about ‘the Buffy incident’

“So let me get this straight, you asked Buffy straight out if she fancied you?” Willow spoke up after a short period of silence,
“No!” Kate defended, “I asked her if she cared if I did fancy Tara, there’s a difference”

“Kate” Willow took a deep breath “Okay, regardless of how you asked her. You challenged Buffy to look at and reevaluate her sexuality, You know how hard it was for me to admit to myself let alone you that I was a lesbian, so I'm not surprised, She may be ‘The Slayer’ but she’s also just Buffy”
Kate sat pondering this for a while, “Yea I know, well look at us in all our foot in mouthy glory, go us” Both girls simultaneously raised there hands to mockingly high five themselves

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

Thanks for this nice little update, it also helps to really round off the story from your last update but one hehe...You know, others might not agree, but as a bi girl ive got no objection to a bit of hot loving between Spike and Buffy....Just as long as she goes back with Kate..cos that relationship is really exciting me.....Also i forgot to add thanks for updating so quickly.

Hey!! I came on the board today, and woo!! TWO updates!! Glory days! Loved them both, by the way. I feel bad for willow and kate, but I have a feeling things will be ok in the end.

_________________
Pax!

Hey guys,

Im glad you liked the updates, I was so into writing the first that i had to come back five minites later and write the second, i needed to know what was going to happen and im the one bloody writing the thing 'grin'

singgirl- really glad you liked it, things are going to get much better for all four, but will be very human, lots of little touches, private moments and blundered babbles,

kimberley- I never had anything against spike and buffy either, i just wished joss was as daring with Willow and Tara, MY GOD WOULDNT THAT HAVE BEEN HOT!!....(takes a moment to wipe the drool)

and last but no where near least, Anna, my S-B-R, lots of respect and a great big over the internet hug, thanks for kicking my arse to write faster and better,

Ive got to go away for the weekend so im in the middle of writing the next chapter,

just want to take a moment here to say thanks,
thanks to the great people who leave feedback, and thanks to the sifters who read and breeze on, I really love this little world of kittens, its nice to escape real life for a while, and im really glad to share my escape with you guys, was thinking about that last night while having a wine and a ciggy on the balcony,

allright im done, stop cringing,
ill update in about an hour,

sare

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie

Chapter four B,
as promised,
um this one was really hard to write, and i might come back and edit it a little later on,
Cheers Anna my S-B-R, hope you like the changes

this chapter is very angsty, well some of it,
PG13, some cursing,
disclaimer see chapter one,

Kate was lying on her stomach, legs dangling over the edge of her bed, head held up by a pillow trying to read,
“Its fine, The doctor said I could take the bandages and patches of tomorrow….ahha……yea, No you can not call me patchy McPatchpatch from now on….No you cant call me that either….or that…..well maybe that, Definitely can not call me that, what would Anya say? Haha that shut you up” Willow was lying on her bed talking to Xander, The phone held in the crook of her neck, as she tried to button up her P.J shirt, very unsuccessfully I might add, “Xan hold the line for a sec, call coming threw, leaving her shirt half buttoned Willow connected the next call, “Yello? Patchy McPatchpatch speaking?”
Kate looked up from her book, raising one eye brow she mouthed ‘Patchy McPatchpatch?” to Kansas who was sharing some quiet time with her mom, Kansas took this as an offer to be scratched and rolled onto her back, chuckling Kate obliged,
“Hey Giles, No no I was just being a doofus, Scobbie meeting? tonight? Um it’s a little late isn’t it? Um yea ok, sure, be right over…Bye” hanging up on Giles, Willow quickly told Xander about the meeting then got of the phone,

Kate who was sitting up now, watched as Willow began the tedious effort of undoing all the buttons she had done up,
After six attempts Kate had had enough, “Oh for Gods sakes Willow…. Let me” jumping of the bed, Kate began to unbutton, “So what was all that about?”
“Um Giles didn’t really say, just that we had to be there ASAP…” Kate stopped and raised her eyebrows, “We as in you and me? I have to go?”
Willow looked down at where Kate was, “Yea he wants us all there, you, me, Xan, Buff, even Anya….must be serious”
Kate rolled her big blue eyes, ‘Great just great’

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Tara stood in the middle of her modest apartment, toes absently caressing the knots in the dark wooden floor, The Brushes woven threw her fingers clicked slightly against one another as she contemplated the canvas that stood before her,

Singing along quietly to the CD currently playing threw her headset, Tara continued her appraisal of the blank canvas,
Taking a deep breath, and stretching, a habit born years ago, Tara let her mind open and began to feel the music reverberate along her soul, slowly letting her emotions take control Tara readied herself,

“Lets take the train to anywhere, I wanna feel the wind in my hair with you, lets tell them all for soon they’ll know, how very wrong they were to think we’d never grow and if you tell me yours ill tell you mine……..”

The tear that fell down her face didn’t surprise Tara,
Sniffing slightly, she raised her head, choosing her colour by gut feeling Tara marked the canvas for the first time, her marks strong and confident.
By completely trusting herself Tara was able to create an image completely free of conscious thought, by feeling alone.
Painting was Tara’s first language,
Tara had been given her first set of paints at five, ironically by the man, who had then taken all confidence away in her art and in herself,
‘Papa’ A sudden slash of deep blue smeared across the canvas,
‘Sir’ another slash,
‘Barstard’ more smears and slashes,

Feeling herself grow angry Tara submitted to her emotions completely, in this room, in this town, she was safe from that monster, she would quite happily deal with the vampires and demons here, Tara smiled bitterly, ‘I feel safer on a hellmouth then with my own father, touching’ painting viciously for a time Tara let her anger take its course and finally settle,

Feeling herself calm considerably Tara let her thoughts drift to the Redhead who today she had taken a chance on, ‘going to that room was frightening and exhilarating all in one moment,’ sighing Tara felt let down, not disappointed as such just let down, and not by Willow, but by the world for again refusing her a decent chance at having a friend, absently Tara wiped away a tear as she wiped her brush down on the towel tucked in the back of her pants, ‘Willow….’ Thinking back to the feeling of holding the redheads hand, and then her accusations,
‘How many times do I have to defend myself, a demon? A witch? A lesbian? What can and can’t I be, who says and why? How many friends have I lost, how many did I never get the chance to even start to make?’ Tara’s throat began to hurt as she kept swallowing back her tears, ‘It’s not fair. Its not fair….’ Tara felt the dam break, and she began to cry, a sudden gut wrenching cry that came out of nowhere,
Its intensity smashing and destroying every ounce of self-control Tara had, feeling nauseas and desperate, Tara sucked in lungfuls of air trying to steady her breathing,
Images spun threw her mind like a perverted slide show,
Her mother, her father, Donny,

The day Donny dragged her by her hair into the school cafeteria, dumping her in the chiller and locked it because she was “one of them”

The first time her father had taken a hand to her, “I was four….I. was. Only. Four.”

Her mother, her beautiful mother, “Mama…” When Lillian had died, Tara had died right along with her, squeezing her eyes shut, Tara began to shake,
The last image to come swerling threw her mind was one of Willow, sitting in her pile of blankets, looking up, calling her name,
“Its not fair… ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR!” The lights started to flicker wildly, and the wind began to whip as she screamed,
Noticing non of it Tara lurching forward landed on her knees by a new wave of anguish and tears; they burned and scalded as they ran the length of her long face, arms wrapped desperately around her, knuckles white in there grip, the painting was forgotten for now, she rocked back and forth trying to sooth her raw heart.

Hours later Tara’s shoulders slumped and her cries became whimpers, completely spent and numb Tara pulled her blankets of her bed and crawled under them, into a deep replenishing sleep Tara mercifully dreamt of nothing.
Outside the wind followed suit, regaining its composure as well, an eerie silence filled the night.
…………………………………………………………………………………………..


At Giles, the Scobbies simultaneously shuddered; Anya the first to recover spoke up “Someone just walked over Willow’s grave.” Anya was very matter of fact.
“Anya don’t you mean someone just walked over your grave?” Kate interjected politely,
Anya shot a horrified look at Kate “Why would you say that? I'm not dead”
Kate was now utterly confused, “but…you just said Willow’s grave…why Willow?”
The grave owner in question now sat up and crossed her arms defensively “Yea!….why MY grave?”
Anya looked around the room now confused herself,
Giles was standing by the serving bar watching with interest,
Buffy sitting in a comfortable armchair, was splitting her attention between slyly watching Kate and listening to Anya,
Xander had his arm over the back of Anya’s side of the couch and was just as intrigued why it had to be Willow’s grave someone walked over,
“Well…” seeing everyone expectant faces Anya turned to Xander,
“Two days ago at the magic shop Willow did the same body shudder thing as she did just then, you said “Willow, some one just walked over your grave?” and she agreed,
so just now….” Xander interrupted his girlfriend, “Ahn, someone walking over your grave is a saying for when you get a chill running down your spine, you say it to who ever just got a chill” Nodding Anya sat back quietly, "oh....well thats stupid"
Kate smiled as she leaned back into the couch, she liked Anya, she was honest and bold, Kate felt completely at ease around the ex vengeance demon, looking to her left she caught Buffy watching her, smiling slightly at Buffy’s flustered expression,
Kate’s attention was drawn back to Giles who had started to speak,

“Ah right, um last meeting I was telling you about the energy we had to look out for, well I talked to my source’s and some friends in England and have gathered some more information,
The energy we are looking for is valuable, that much we knew, now we know that we need that power… “ Taking a moment to look around him, Giles continued, looking at his slayer “There is a war we must prevent, Two different demon dimensions are and have been trying to break threw to this dimension for decades, there is a date written in an old Latin prophecies book I found, The date is Six weeks from now, and we need to prepare, We need to find this power, it holds the answers we need,
The only thing we have to go in is this” Giles held up a small piece of paper “a friend at the covern saw this scratched on a wall in one of his visions”

Holding the paper slightly towards the light Giles began to read aloud,
“ If Three’s unsafe, then two be dead,
Only one can live,
Choose well your foe, choose well your friend
Only once can choose,

Seek out the One, a flaming pillar,
Can not been see by sight,
Be strong of heart, Be strong of mind,
Move swiftly through the fight”

“Riddles, why does it always come down to riddles, cant the end of the world come down to a friendly game of knuckle bones?”
Buffy groaned and slunk further into her chair her hands covering her eyes as she continued to grumble, completely missing the smile that threatened to cross Kate’s face,
“Or marbles…. I could totally save the world if it were up to a game of marbles” Xander sat and reminisced,

“Yes well…unfortunately the universe has dashed your hopes again” Sarcasm dripped from Giles words, “Back to the Riddle shall we? Now the first part is straight forward enough, the demons are fighting amongst themselves, and the winner of that battle will try to take this dimension,
The next bit I haven’t a clue about, I understand the friend or foe bit well enough I suppose we will deal with that at the time, but Pillar of fire?”

“Tara” Willow was sitting forward, head cocked to the side, piecing the puzzle together, “The pillar of fire is Tara,” Looking up, Willow continued “At the Bronze, Tara’s energy was bright red, and its powerful, the riddle is saying 'pillar of fire' but it’s a riddle so its not meant to be taken literally, I think she is the one we need”
Having said her piece, Willow sat back and waited,
………………………………………………………………………………………..

Feedback, thoughts?

_________________
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
Angelina Jolie