Title: The Instruments Available

E-mail: jixers@yahoo.com

Feedback: Please. Don’t make me beg.

Distribution: Any free fanfiction site, just tell me.

Spoilers: Season Six

Rating: R (just in case)

Pairing: W/T

Disclaimer: All characters of BtVS are owned by Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. If they were mine I’d have more than a bunch of tattered books and there would be a W/T spin off.

Summary: You work with what you have.

Note: Yes, I know, I said no more Season Sux or getting Tara back stories. My bad.









The Instruments Available





Prologue:

Survivor Guilt









The still of the night was broken by the sound of a cardboard box hitting the earth. Things clattered and clanked as a dark figure stumbled to its feet. There was a series of clicks that did nothing. Finally some rustling was heard and a scratching noise happened before a small flare of light pushed back the gloom a little. The candle flared in the still night when the match touched its wick. The light fell on a flashlight with dead batteries and the headstone.



“Hi Tara,” Xander Harris said softly as he knelt by the fresh grave. “I know you’re in a good place but…but I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to try. Will is broken, Tara. I mean she doesn’t talk and when she left she just shuffled onto the plane. I know what her hurting would mean to you. Not to mention Dawn and, well, I’m probably going to mess this up but I’ve got to try. There isn’t anybody else. Anya’s…I tried to talk to her and make a wish but I’m kind of on the Vengeance Demon blacklist right now. Sorry.”



Xander tried to place the candles and incense in a circle. He cheated and used a piece of string and a large nail tapped into the earth. The pain from the lacerations on his chest made the effort difficult. He pulled out the boline and athame and tried not to think of them as a sickle and a knife. They had been in Tara’s things delivered to the Summers house by the university. He remembered when Dawn had called him in tears. He had recognized the wooden box with Tara’s name on it because he’d made it for Tara’s birthday just months before. Xander remembered how heavy it felt when he carried it away as Dawn sobbed silently, curled up in a small bundle of misery on a chair. He shook away the memory only to have another remembered moment replaced it. This time Xander saw himself sign for Tara’s body.



Consequences of my freezing in a fight are too damn high, he thought bitterly. Maybe Anya’s really better off without me. Maybe they all would be. I should have stopped the bullet. Bullets.



The circle was finally perfect. Xander put a rock on the book and tried to read the ancient pages clearly. He had a sheet of paper next to it with the words he didn’t know written down phonetically. He tried to keep the dripping candle wax off both book and paper. Then a gust of wind came up and an incense stick blew down and three of the candles went out. Xander leaned forward hurriedly to make it perfect and was reaching for a matchbox when the incense sticks and candles lifted six inches off the ground. All of the candles flared and their flames were clear and steady.



“Oh, that is never good,” Xander muttered. He stood up and got ready to fight what ever was coming to his friend’s grave.



“Of course!” an almost familiar voice said from the circle. “I’d find you! But you’re hurt…”



Xander blinked at the girl who had simply appeared in the circle. She was perhaps twenty, certainly no more. It almost might have been a taller Anya with real blonde hair, but the face and the voice both were not quite a match. Then the girl’s face looked horrified as she glanced and then stared at the tombstone.



“No!” she whispered harshly. “No, this can’t be! Damn it, I can’t run out of manna here and now! Wait, I can do this. Just calm yourself, Elizabeth.”



“Do?” Xander managed to say.



“You’ll have to stop the attack,” she said breathlessly. “I’m good and have the best teachers but this is as far into the past as I can go.”



“Past?” Xander asked in a shocked tone.



“I know you can do it,” the girl said with admiration in her voice.



“This isn’t what should happen, right?” Xander asked desperately.



“Of course not!” the girl replied hotly.



“Then send me back!” Xander said with grim determination.



Xander tried to remember every detail of the day Warren had killed Tara. He readied himself to stop the killer this time, no matter what the cost. The girl brought her hands together in a way that he knew in his bones was magical. He heard her voice call out:



“Xander shall now go all the way back,

To return to the days before the attack

Recall what you may of that darkest day

To return what should be to its true way.”



Xander felt the world spin.





===========================================================





Xander Harris woke up to the sound of the beeping alarm clock. He reached out for it only to touch Anya’s side. Xander sat bolt upright in bed. Anya looked at him with concern.



“What is it, studly muffin?” she asked.



“I-I-I…” Xander said shaking.



“It was just a dream, okay?” Anya said soothingly. “Jitters a week before the wedding is normal in human males.”



“Yeah,” Xander whispered. “Just a dream. That’s it.”



“Exactly,” Anya said as she stood up. “It’s not like you’re magical or a Slayer or something.”



“Right,” Xander said swinging out of bed and looking away from his fiancée. “I’m as magical as a rutabaga.”



“Exactly,” Anya said as she ran her fingers up his spine before almost skipping to the shower.



I didn’t dream of killing you, Xander thought with frightened determination. And if I did it’s just a dream. I’m just a guy. What do I know about...



A figure in a bodybag slowly descended the stairs strapped onto a gurney. Dawn and Buffy were in shock. A man handed him a pen and a book of forms.



“Sign here,” the man said flatly.



Xander hurried to get dressed and resolved not to think any more about it. For some reason as he shaved he kept looking at the side of his face in the mirror.





===========================================================





Godfrey Somerset was a slim man in a suit worth even more than his elegant watch, who sat behind an ancient desk in a modern office. He read the e-mail on his screen with rapid flicks of his eyes. The man frowned at the closing of the message. The client seemed adamant. He reached out and pressed a button on his phone.



“Saunders, take the next flight to Sunnydale, California,” he said calmly.



“Yes sir,” a young voice replied. “What are my instructions?”



“I’ll have the details in fifteen minutes,” Somerset said as he rang off.



The elegant man began working on gathering the needed data. He was smiling just a bit. The excitement of working in New York suited him, and he had always considered the LA branch too easy going anyway. There was a bit of a thrill as he readied his information. The LA office might take offense, but that suited him too. He was prepared. It was quite literally a way of life at Wolfram and Hart.





===========================================================

Edited by: jixer at: 2/11/04 6:22 pm

Hi Jixer



Very nice start -- already there's so much going on, and it's just the prologue!



So who came back into Xander's circle? Is she Tara's daughter, or Anya's, or someone else? It seems like Elizabeth was attempting to go back far enough to change events, and got "stuck" (ran out of mana) at a time that was too late.



Xander ends up a week before "Hell's bells," so about a month before "Seeing red." Unfortunately, he seems to have gone back without his memory, thinking it was all a dream. Too bad the wounds on his chest and face didn't translate back. As it is, he'll be hard pressed to not let events simply repeat themselves.



And what the heck is W & H up to?



Not your bad at all to break that vow. These S6 re-written stories all show that there are infinite ways things could have been handled better. I'm eager to see how this one plays out.



Russ

Heya Jixer,



I'm a sucker for getting-Tara-back stories too, since her and Willow should be together forever! So feel free to write as many as you want



I love how the prologue sets up so many different tracks of your story to make my little brain hurt. I can't wait to find out who Elizabeth is, and time travel...excellent! Quantum mechanics never fails to make me think hard and I'm just one reading your fic!



I dont watch Angel so I dont know much about W and H, but I'm looking forward to whatever evil schemes are being hatched!



Happy writing and yay for such an awesome beginning



-Alcy

Hello Kittens-



It's good to see Kitten feedback after technical difficulties (MS Word, enough said).



russ- Who is Elizabeth? That would be telling Most of the questions will be answered outright over the next few chapters, and I've got a hunch the Kittens will figure out Elizabeth before the end. Now here's the surprising news- there's an actual update following this post!



KiwiAlcyone- Oh dear, a clever Kitten with the Quantum Mechanics and everything! I hope the opening does justice to the rest of the piece, Alcy. As for knowing W&H, evil schemes are all that's needed for this story.



And now so no one has too wait to long for the first bit of this story-











The Instruments Available



Chapter One:

Dropping A Dime







Outside in the afternoon sun the beeping of a truck in reverse filled the construction site with an annoying chirp. The sound barely made it through the glass of the front window of the small diner. Xander still covered his ear as he fed coins into the pay phone and hoped his time calculations were correct. There was an odd buzzing on the far end of the line.



“Yes?” a tired but not sleepy voice said curtly.



“Giles?” Xander said nervously.



“Xander?” Giles said over the fuzzy connection. “Is everything all right?”



“We’re fine,” Xander started. “Except I can’t do this. Giles, I need help.”



“Xander, calm down,” Giles started.



“Calm down?” Xander almost shouted. “I killed Anya last night! Twice!”



“You what?” Giles asked. In the diner a couple of people looked at Xander with raised eyebrows.



“I-I can’t talk about it here and-and, Giles, I need help,” Xander said closing his eyes and shaking. “Something’s happened. Maybe something magical.”



“Have you talked with Willow?” Giles asked.



“After she nearly killed Dawn when she was high on magic?” Xander asked incredulously.



“Talk to Tara,” Giles said after a moment. “Do what she says. I’ll be there in…twenty hours.”



“Thanks, Giles,” Xander said not bothering to conceal the quaver in his voice.





===========================================================



“Xander?” Tara said with a puzzled look. “Is something wrong?”



“I don’t even know how to say yes for all the ways things are wrong,” Xander said raggedly.



Tara stood away from her dorm room door. Xander stepped over the threshold without being invited in. Tara smiled at him.



“At least you’re not a vampire,” she said.



“No,” Xander agreed. “Wife killer and weirdness guy-”



Tara in that same blue top was lying on the floor in the Summers house, pale except for the obscene red hole in her chest. The room seemed cool as the faint wind moaned through the starred window.



“You can’t wear that!” Xander almost shouted. “And stay away from windows! Don’t go back there!”



“Xander!” Tara said firmly. “It’s all right.”



“No, its not,” he replied slumping into a chair. “None of its all right.”



“Talk to me,” Tara said gently as she touched his shoulder.



“I’m seeing things in my dreams,” Xander started. “There’s this huge demon and this old guy and there’s me, only it’s me with a beer gut and my dad’s temper, and-and I think I’m wearing a tuxedo. But whatever I’m wearing I just snap and…” Xander looked at Tara with horror in his eyes. “I hit her and I kill her and then I wake up in a sweat.”



“There’s more,” Tara said with a distant voice.



“Can you feel it?” Xander asked with a faint note of hope.



“Magic,” Tara said evenly. “But not black magic. It almost fits you.”



“Magic? Fits me? If I were a SAT question I’d be Xander is to magic what goldfish are to motorcycles.”



“It’s really strange, but not evil,” Tara said surely. “What else happened?”



“Well, there was old man Dickerson’s beagle,” Xander said. “He got out of the yard and I knew he was going to get hit over on Elm and the old guy would shoot himself-”



Tara stayed silent, her hand started to rub Xander’s shoulder very softly as he gathered his composure.



“I knew that, like I knew Juan was going to break his leg and lose his truck when that load of lumber broke on the hoist. But when I pushed him out of the way I didn’t know why I did. Now I remember why I chased the damn dog and was late to work and why I stopped Juan.”



“But you didn’t after you changed the things you knew where going to happen?” Tara asked carefully.



“Yeah…”



Tara slipped away from the now for a second and looked more closely at the soft blue outline around Xander’s core. She let her power touch it briefly. The spell felt warm and gentle, the crafting of it was familiar, but the power of the caster had been enormous. Tara looked closer at the pattern.



“Oh!” she said with a start.



“You went all witchy trance thing there,” Xander said nervously. “Are we dealing with some sort of demon curse?”



“N-no,” Tara said shaking her head slightly. “It looks like one of my spells, only boosted beyond anything I can do.”



“So it’s a good witch spell?” Xander asked with relief.



“A powerful one,” Tara replied.



“I don’t remember helping Glinda the Good Witch of North across the street,” Xander said furrowing his brow. “Wait a minute, you said it looks like yours?”



“I kind of-of p-put a protective s-spell on all of you,” Tara said in an embarrassed tone as she looked down. “It wasn’t very strong.”



“It probably took a lot to do one on everybody,” Xander said with a soft smile. Tara looked at him with surprise. “Hey, I may be a magic brick but I am a Scooby. It helps to know when to duck around hocus pocus stuff.”



Tara smiled at him for a second. Then she looked at the sleeve of her top. She touched it.



“Xander, what’s so upsetting about this top?”



He’d failed, that’s why Tara was lying there with a hole in her heart. She’d be cold. She’d never taken the cold well. There was so much blood…



“Xan?” Tara asked as she took his hand.



“You were wearing it when you died,” he whispered.



“W-W-What?” Tara said tightly. “H-How…?”



“You were shot, and-and Anya…oh God, did I kill you too?”



“Shot?” Tara asked in shock as Xander stood up and backed away. “Xander-wait!”



But he was already gone.





===========================================================





Giles was looking for Greenblatt’s Sleep Curses and Demons, Volume 4 when the phone rang again. He grabbed it with a smothered growl.



“Yes?” he snapped.



“S-s-sorry,” Tara said thousands of miles away. “B-But, ummm Giles, there’s something wrong with Xander. Something magical.”



“Tara, I know this is going to be difficult but, ah,” Giles tried to find a good way to ask a question he felt he had caused.



“It’s not Willow,” Tara said before Giles could finish the question. “It’s almost like the spell is one of mine, only cast by someone even more powerful than Willow.”



“More powerful than Willow?” Giles asked quietly. “What did he tell you?”



“He’s seeing things that were going to happen,” Tara answered. “He stopped a man from getting hurt at his worksite and he rescued a dog the owner needed to live. He mentioned a demon, an old man, and himself but it didn’t sound right. H-H-He also said, ummm-”



“What is it, Tara?” Giles asked, his stomach clenching at the fear in her voice.



“He said I died,” Tara said in a rush. “He said I was shot. Then he ran out of here. Giles, I’m scared for him and for me and-”



“Do you have a moonstone?” Giles asked.



“Yes,” Tara said.



“Did you put a protective spell on me for traveling with it?” Giles asked gently.



“Yeah,” Tara said softly. “I, umm, airplanes are, you know-”



“Yes, quite,” Giles said with a smile in his voice. “Hold onto it and try to see me in about one hour.”



“Giles,” Tara started worriedly.



“One hour,” Giles said firmly. “I have to go.”



“B-Bye, and be careful.”



“Of course. Goodbye, Tara.”



Giles hung up, then pulled out a battered notebook and looked up a number. He dialed the Devon number and grimaced as a sleepy voice grunted into the receiver.



“Rita? This is Rupert Giles. Have you checked your copper mirror tonight?”



“Rupert if this is a-oh, never mind,” an older woman’s voice sighed. “Just a moment.”



As Giles waited he could here the sound of slippers on wooden floors. Suddenly there was a shouted “Bloody Hell!”. Giles heard the sound of water running, then sloshing and finally someone running in slippers with ears.



“Good God!” Rita almost shouted. “Get down here man! I’m paging the coven.”



“How bad is it?” Giles asked quickly. “Was it cracked?”



“The mirror’s fine,” Rita said excitedly. “I could tell that from the light from the burning mantle clock.”



“The one your grandfather crafted?” Giles asked tightly.



“That’s the one,” Rita replied.



“I’ll be there in…half an hour,” Giles replied.



“Quicker if you can,” Rita said as she rang off.



Giles threw the books into his case and hurried out, only stopping when his trained librarian’s eye caught sight of the book he’d been looking for propping up his crossword puzzle on the table in the kitchen.





===========================================================





“No Xander, nobody gets hurt,” Xander muttered as he tossed socks out of his drawer onto the bed. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to see Istanbul. Or maybe Cleveland.”



He turned to the closet and grabbed a handful of shirts on hangers. He tried not to think about Anya and the care she’d used to put them away for him. Xander stuffed the clothes into a battered suitcase. There was just a bit more room. He looked back at the closet and pulled one more shirt out. It was a yellow tan, a color every female Scooby had winced at but he liked it. He grabbed it-



Warren was coming into the backyard of the Summers house. He had a gun in his hand. Xander tried to make himself move but he froze. Buffy reacted and pushed her friend out of the way. That gave Warren the time he needed to pull the trigger again and again. One of those bullets raced upward, smashing into Tara as Buffy fell in front of him gazing fixedly up at the sky with a lost and frightened look.



“Son of a bitch,” Xander whispered.





===========================================================





Saunders arrived at the Sunnydale Bison Lodge just as the last of the older members were finishing dinner. He found the manager in his office. The young attorney took a card from his wallet.



“Williams Floral Specialists?” the manager asked.



“We’re subcontracting delivery of some of the floral arrangements for the Harris wedding,” Saunders said politely. “I’d like to get a view of the place for the full affect of our arrangement.”



The manager showed the young man the main Bison Hall. Saunders took a dozen photos with a very bright flash. The manager closed his eyes for the last few and missed the young man’s tiny syringe full of something too dark for human blood being squirted into a planter next to the doorway.





===========================================================





Elizabeth surfed the power surges as causality tried to right itself. The ride was a heady mix of thrill and terror as what had been tried to become what was once more. She suddenly became aware of her anchor.



Sis?



Almost there, Elizabeth replied.



Which agent did you use?



The best! she replied. Everything will be fine.





===========================================================





Anya felt uncomfortable in the apartment. She dropped her keys on the side table and looked for the bottle of water that would be mostly empty sitting beside the refrigerator. She stopped when she realized there was no sound in the place.



“Xander?” she called out.



She looked over at the bed and froze. The suitcase on the bed was open with clothes jumbled inside. The hatbox she kept her small revolver in was open on the bed. Anya hurried forward and saw the box was empty and the case of cartridges next to it had an empty row. She turned, grabbed the keys and hurried out the door.

Edited by: jixer at: 2/9/04 12:13 pm

Wow, this is a great start to the story.



So am I right in assuming that Xanders taken Anya's gun off to be engraved?



No? Oh well then has he gone off to fill Warren so full of lead that you could sharpen his head and call him a pencil?



I'm looking forward to more

Postel's Prescription: Be generous in what you accept, rigorous in what you emit.

Wow... this is weird... and really cool. I'm not sure I can actually tell what's going on, but I do know time travel when I see it. I'm guessing that things will start to make more sense. maybe when I'm more awake and stuff. But this is starting off looking really cool. Yay.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

*bounces happily*



Yay, jixer you update even faster than I do...it's fantastic!

And the whole quantum mechanics thing is hardly the result of being clever...it's the result of watching far too much Star Trek.

There's so much going on...it's like you get a little taste of what is happening or going to happen and then you're left hanging...I love suspense! and poor Xander - trying to stop events happenning always leads to nasty consequences and much angsty thoughts.



Looking forward to the next bit



-Alcy

Wow, another story from you and this one promises just as much complexity as your others. I love it.



I like how you’re using Xander. He has a great potential here. And you’ve added W&H to the mix which provides even more potential. I sense an epic here



An intriguing start. You already have my head spinning and I thank you for that. I love to figure it all out, and then have you turn it all upside and make me figure it all out again.



Thanks jixer.



--celia

---------------------------------

When innocence is shattered
... madness is inevitable
www.gotlicky.com

Nifty beginning. I like!



You've hooked us in nicely, and I'm quite intrigued by the possibility of Xander in a semi-heroic role. You don't get much of that on Pens.



Any time someone brings W&H into a fic I bring out the Popcorn and get ready for the long haul (a much anticipated long haul, in this case). I think it's some Pavlovian response to the Sidestep Chronicle. So much you could do with this!



More, pweeze!



Mo

No matter how short life may seem, it's still the longest thing you'll ever do.

Hello Kittens-



Just a quick nip in before work to say thank you and there will be an update and a proper response to this wonderful feedback tomorrow night.



Thank you everyone,



Jixer

Hello Kittens-



Wow, these things work better when you're awake!



justin- Yes, the engraving is going to be part of his wedding surprise. Any other answer might indicate violence, alack a day!



Tempest Duer- Wakefulness helps but it may be overrated. Thank you for kind words from an over-tired Kitten.



KiwiAlcyone- Really, I'm not that fast. I'm just trying my new system of getting about half the fic done before breaking it into chapters and posting. Now I've discovered I need to brush a couple of things up in several chapters so it's a work in progress still!



tiredsoul- Oh, I hope it doesn't get away from me and become an epic! One of the things I thought needed addressing was the friendships W and T should have had but got short shrift as BtVS became the Spike show. Fortunately there's Pens for a select few.



Modjadji- Wolfram and Hart will be more of a supporting role, but as with any role, its the player that makes it come alive. I hope my casting of the part works, and I will try to do well by X (and Anya, of course).



And now, on to the update-





****************







Chapter 2:

Alarms and Excursions







Willow opened the door at the Summers house with a stake behind her back. Anyone pounding that hard at sunset usually meant trouble. She looked out and saw Xander looking more rumpled than usual. Willow pulled open the door.



“Xander, what’s wrong?” she asked looking behind him. “Is something wrong? Is it Anya?”



“Yeah, I mean no, not if I can help it,” Xander replied as he handed Willow a broken piece of statuary with a wire coming out of it. “Is Buffy here? Warren hasn’t been here, has he?”



Willow followed her friend as he darted to the back door of the house.



“Xan, what the frilly heck is going on?” Willow demanded.



“Of course not,” he sighed as he looked out the door at the shade-shrouded yard. “It was daytime.”



“What was daytime?” Buffy asked as she came into the room.



“Buffy!” Xander exclaimed happily. “Oh God, am I glad to see you!”



“Oooff!” Buffy exclaimed as Xander crushed her in a bear hug. “I’m glad to see you too. Confused, but glad.”



“Xander, why does what’s left of the gnome have a camera in it?” Willow asked looking at the damaged statue.



“Warren!” Xander spat. “I’m not exactly sure which one of you told me about it. Look, don’t go out in the back yard. Warren’s got a gun and he’ll use it. Don’t let Tara come back here-”



“Tara?” Willow asked suddenly. “What about Tara? Is she all right?”



“She’s fine, you two will be fine, just don’t let her come back here, no matter what,” Xander demanded with fright in his eyes. “And don’t let her wear that blue long sleeve top! And keep Buffy out of the back yard and make sure Tara stays away from windows here-no, if she doesn’t come back to this house then she’ll be safe.”



“What’s wrong?” Willow asked fearfully.



“Warren,” Xander said darkly. “He’s coming after Buffy.”



“Fine, we’ll get him,” Buffy said in a calming voice.



“NOT YOU!” Xander shouted. “Good God, Buffy, he shot you!”



“What?” both girls said at once.



“I don’t have time to explain,” Xander said as he hurried for the door. “I’ve got to stop him, and then, maybe then I won’t hurt Anya.”



“Hurt Anya?” Willow said in disbelief. “Xander, you wouldn’t…”



But she was speaking to a closing door.





===========================================================





The vampire closed on the hurrying female. He was about to reach for her when Anya spun around and shoved him against the streetlamp.



“Have you seen Xander!” Anya demanded as she fixed him with her mad, determined eyes.



“Ahh,” the vampire replied in shock. “No?”



“Are you lying to me?” she shouted.



“No, lady, I haven’t seen anybody!” he said hurriedly, trying to avoid the silver cross around her neck.



“I don’t have time for this!” Anya snarled as she let him go and stalked off.



“To hell with California,” the vampire said as he watched her over his shoulder. “They’re all nuts around here. I’m leaving.”





===========================================================





“There’s no answer at Tara’s” Willow said nervously. “I’m going to go over there, but it’s not because I want to see her, well, I do want to see her, but not, you know, for kisses or…anything else, just to make sure she’s safe, so could you come with me and tell her I’m really not making this up so she’ll be okay with this and still talk with me and maybe have a dance with me at the wedding?”



“If you get your jacket turned right side out,” Buffy said with a tired smile. “I do have one or two standards left.”



“Right,” Willow said with an embarrassed smile.



As Willow took off her jacket the door boomed again. Buffy hurried to the door. She pulled it open only to have Anya barrel past her.



“Have you seen Xander?” Anya demanded.



“He left a few minutes ago,” Buffy said in what she hoped was a soothing tone.



“Was he all right?” Anya snapped with concern and anger warring her voice. “Because if he isn’t then he’s going to need a damn good explanation about the suitcase.”



“Suitcase?” Willow asked.



“On the bed next to the hatbox I keep the gun in,” Anya explained. “He was packing-”



“Gun?” Buffy interjected. “Xander has a gun?”



“Oh my God, he’s going to kill Warren!” Willow said in a rush.



“What?” Anya asked with widening eyes. “I mean, no big loss with that murdering creep but why?”



“Because someone is using him to stop an attack from the future,” Giles said stepping through the open door.



Willow and the others looked at Giles in silent shock. Then Willow saw something that took her focus completely away from Giles. Tara slipped in behind him looking tired and wan. Willow hurried to her.



“Baby, don’t ask but please, stay away from windows,” Willow said as she took Tara’s hand and guided the blonde witch to the chair in the living room farthest from the windows.



“And the back yard,” Buffy added even as she kept her gaze on Giles.



“Right,” Willow said looking towards that side of the house. She didn’t see a path to the backyard and relaxed just a bit. Then she realized she still had Tara’s hand in hers.



“Sorry,” Willow said pulling her hand away. “I didn’t mean the baby there in a, you know, a girlfriend way.”



“It’s okay,” Tara said softly. Then Willow felt Tara touch her gently on the hand. Willow’s breath caught at the touch and Tara’s smile.



“Will?” Buffy said gently. “Tara?”



“Oh, s-sorry,” Tara said as Willow turned back towards Buffy with a grin that couldn’t decide whether it was embarrassed or loopy.



“Hey Giles,” Willow said shyly.



“How did you get here?” Anya asked brusquely. “And what’s more important what’s happening to my fiancé?”





===========================================================





Xander strolled through the electronics store. He recognized the screwdrivers, batteries and sodas. The rest of the merchandise was a mystery to him. He didn’t see Warren or Jonathon or anyone who exactly fit the description of Andrew. The salesman though was now watching him constantly. Xander left the building in his best nonchalant manner.



Now what? he wondered. The Bronze is almost empty tonight, the computer stores are closed, and they’re not out getting parts for the next wonder weapon. Where else would they be?



Xander stopped at the corner and looked up the street. In the harsh light of a street lamp he saw the crudely drawn superhero knockoffs in the window of the comics shop. He turned that way.





===========================================================





“So the clock burned,” Anya said with a shrug. “So what?”



“The hands of the clock were formed of blessed silver,” Giles explained. “The fact that the copper mirror was in perfect condition while the clock had fractured and burned-”



“Which means that someone is trying to maintain a separate level of causality flow,” Willow finished. “Two lines of time are trying to exist at once.”



“And they meet in Xander,” Giles said tiredly.



“Why not in somebody more magical?” Willow asked.



“Because they’d see everything, magical and real, in both realities,” Tara explained as Giles stifled a yawn. “They’d go kind of crazy. At least that’s what Giles said.”



“Like grabbing a gun and going after somebody who shot Buffy and you?” Willow asked evenly.



“Yes-I mean-” Tara started.



“Warren shot you and Buffy,” Willow said in a hard but calm voice.



“H-He might have in the other reality,” Tara said quickly. “But we’re fine here, and we know to look out for him.”



“Where’s my poor confused love poodle now?” Anya asked softly.



“I don’t know,” Giles admitted.



“I think I might be able to, umm, find him,” Tara said hesitantly.



“How?” Buffy asked.



“The protection spell I put on all of you,” Tara said tightly.



“Protection spell?” Buffy asked with a quizzical look. “No offense Tara but, you know-”



“It wasn’t very strong,” Tara admitted looking down.



“Because when you did it you were really upset,” Willow said softly.



“Oh, after Willow’s mass mind screw,” Anya said nodding.



“Yes, that would be about right,” Willow said in a brittle but polite tone.



“But when I looked at Xander’s aura when he came to see me, it was there, or maybe it just looked like one of mine,” Tara said. “Only about a hundred times stronger.”



“How much?” Willow asked with surprise.



“It was incredibly powerful,” Tara replied. “More than anything we could have done even at full power.”



“Or anything you could do now,” Giles said thoughtfully. “You said it looked like one of your spells.”



“And it was in perfect tune with Xander’s aura,” Tara added.



“Maybe someone in the future is losing to us,” Buffy mused. “And so they’ve sent back some time traveling curse, and we’re fighting back.”



“And because Xander’s not magical it might make sense to use him to fight it,” Willow added.



“So it’s one of your spells?” Anya asked Tara bluntly.



“Maybe,” Tara said doubtfully.



“Then find him,” Anya said sternly. “Now!”





===========================================================





Xander couldn’t be sure, but the small young man he was following might look like Andrew. At the very least he was acting suspiciously. He stopped every once in a while and darted a nervous look over his shoulder.



Or he could just be a Sunnydale resident, Xander reminded himself. Still, so far he was the only lead.



As Xander followed the furtive man into the building near the comic shop the whole world shifted slightly.



A bleached blonde guy with a sword to Xander’s throat and the look of a frightened man who could do anything…



Xander shook his head. Was that Andrew? He was trying to find an answer and a door at the same time. Then the young man he had been following grabbed him and pulled him inside with inhuman strength. His attacker’s face grew ridges and the furtive continence became feral. Xander reached for the holy water in his pocket but another pair of hands stopped him. Another pair of vampires held him as the smaller one relieved Xander of a flask of holy water, a cross and the small revolver.



“My, my,” chuckled the small vampire. “Very prepared. Were you a boy scout?” The vampire’s smile faded into a snarl. “Because I know what you are now, you stupid bastard. You’re the Slayer’s little boy toy.”



“He’s WHAT?” Anya roared behind the vampire.



The vampire whirled just in time to get the full contents of the holy water vial in his face. As the vampire screamed Anya grabbed him and stuffed the cross into his pants. The screams became falsetto as the other two vampires tried to avoid the splash of the holy water and the cross. Then they too bellowed (in a much lower register) and faded into nothingness and dust. Buffy and Willow pulled back their stakes as Anya wrapped Xander up a tight hug.



“Oh, do shut up,” grumbled Giles as he staked the squealing vampire.



Giles was looking even more tired as he helped a shuffling, broken Willow onto an airliner. Both of them looked drained and the Watcher looked like he’d aged a decade in a single day.



“Giles?” Xander asked as he started to shake in Anya’s embrace. Then the world seemed to get fuzzy and gray around the edges. He gripped Anya, partly to steady himself and partly to make sure she was real. Her lips moved but “Honey?” seemed to come from very far away.

I hope Xander's okay...



I'm more awake now, and more aware. I'm deeply intrigued by this whole thing. It's really cool, even in how frantic it is, or maybe because of that. You write Xander's desparation and everyone else's confusion very well.



It's kind of frustrating that they can't just sit down and find out what's going on, even when that's what they're trying to do. But of course, if everything went perfectly there'd be no story.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

heya jixer,



I'm all on the edge of my seat here, especially after Xander told Willow not to let do any of the things that may lead to Tara's death. I was just thinking 'put her in a room with no windows or put huge forcefields around her or something!'



So after I finish having an anxiety attack I'm very much looking forward to the next installment. I love fics that make me feel nervous for the characters!



-Alcy

“It’s just my imagination. Some people have flat feet. Some people have dandruff. I have this appalling imagination…”

The Seven Year Itch.

I just read the whole thing, it's really great!

I'm glad you changed your mind about re-writing s6...

I also like the complexity of the story and I can't wait for the multiple shifts and focuses, I admit to taking a liking to them in your previous stories!



Keep it up!





~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

Hello Kittens-



Feedback, I have feedback

And the gray clouds above

Will simply roll awayyyy



Yes Kittens, be very glad you can't hear me sing





Tempest Duer- Glad to see you bright eyed and bushy tailed. I think part of the frantic pacing may be my real life intruding on my fanfic so I'm hoping there will be calm parts somewhere ahead as well.



KiwiAlcyone- What's to be nervous about? Armed sociopaths and evil law firms? A mere nearly insurmountable problem. Wait until the line dancing demon arrives.



Arwen276- One thing I love about Pens is I can focus on W&T or bring along their friends and foils. The longer stuff just cries out for filling in those friends and foils, so I'm learning about POVs. The Kitten has been an education. If school had only been this nice...







And now on to the Update for the weekend











Chapter 3:

The Night Before, The Morning After









“You’re sure he’s okay?” Anya asked as Buffy laid Xander on the couch. “I mean really sure?”



“He’s had a very frightening and unnerving time of it,” Giles explained once again. “It’s mostly exhaustion.”



“Mostly could be covering up some draining curse,” Anya said worriedly. “Maybe I should stay with him.”



“Any other time, I’d say yes,” Tara interjected carefully. “But he’s already said something the wedding, or at least I think it was the wedding because he mentioned being in a tuxedo.”



“Somebody’s going to ruin our wedding?” Anya asked on the verge of tears.



“No!” Tara said firmly.



“That’s not going to happen,” Willow said levelly. “We are all going to dance at your wedding, Anya.”



“Even if I have to braid three nerds around this time thingee to do it,” Buffy promised.



“Tara can stay here tonight and make sure if we need any magic it gets done right,” Willow said quietly. “I’ll bring down a pillow and a blanket.”



“But if I stay-” Anya started.



“If you stay you both may start trying to stop a problem we’re not even sure about yet,” Tara said gently. “That would change things and tip our hand. We can’t let whoever’s doing this to know we’re on to them, okay?”



“Are you sure?” Anya asked her friend.



“Yes,” Tara replied confidently.



“I’ll get you home, Anya,” Buffy said as she grabbed her coat.



Anya nodded and knelt down by the couch. She brushed Xander’s hair back and kissed him. Then she stood up straight and almost marched out the door. She didn’t look back, but Tara knew there were tears in her eyes.



After the door closed Giles slumped into a chair. He looked at Tara who appeared to be almost as tired.



“Are you all right?” Giles asked.



“Just a bit tired,” Tara admitted.



“How did you get Giles here?” Willow asked as she came back with some cushions.



“I j-just anchored him,” Tara yawned. “The coven in Devon sent him.”



“You anchored a portal?” Willow asked with quiet alarm. “By yourself? And you let her do it?”



Giles looked up at the angry red head and nodded. Before he could explain Willow choked back her words and stormed angrily upstairs. Tara watched her go and blinked away tears.





===========================================================





She should have gotten help!Willow fumed as she gathered the bedding. A portal can drain a witch to...



Willow slammed the closet door behind her and immediately felt childish. She looked at the mirror.



“What was she supposed to do?” Willow snapped at her reflection. “Call the stupid bitch who can’t handle magic anymore?”



Willow stopped and shook her head.



She wouldn’t want to hear me say that, Willow knew in her heart. She’s home and safe for now. Concentrate on that, Willow.





===========================================================





Buffy slipped into the house as quietly as she could. On the couch Xander helped conceal her arrival with snoring. Tara was wrapped up in a blanket asleep in a nest of pillows on the floor next to him. Neither of them moved as she watched them. Buffy moved silently to the kitchen. She watched as Giles sipped his tea.



“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Buffy asked.



“I would be, but there’s this question that keeps me awake,” Giles said mildly.



“What question is that?” Buffy asked flatly.



“Why didn’t you call me before this?” he asked levelly.



“I was supposed to grow up and handle things,” Buffy said calmly. “So I’m handling Willow spinning out of control and forgetting she’s amazing even without magic and Dawn stealing things and being Spike’s little go-to whore and punching bag. How’s the mid-life crisis going in England?”



“I’m not your father, Buffy!” Giles almost growled.



“No, he’s got a little thing probably my age on the side to help him get over the death of the mother of his children by doing horizontal therapy sessions on the beach in sunny Spain, and you’ve got your books in jolly old England,” Buffy said with a matching snarl. “Of the two of you I probably would give you a call if I thought you gave a damn about my best friend tearing her life apart or my sister being about one step away from foster care. But don’t worry, Giles, I can handle it. The Watchers have trained me so well for handling real life and trying to pay off a mortgage and coming back from Heaven and holding the line on the Hellmouth while raising a teenager who’s seen more shit than she ever should have. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some sleep so I can go back to handling it all myself.”



With that Buffy turned and left Giles staring after her. The full extant of her words finally unwound in his mind. The tea sloshed in the cup as he stood up and went into the living room looking for his coat.



“Don’t,” Tara said from her nest.



Giles whirled and looked at her. Tara shook her head.



“You’re tired and emotionally frazzled,” Tara said tiredly. “If you go after Spike you’ll get snapped up by anything else out there.”



“I’m perfectly capable of handling myself!” Giles snapped.



“Yeah, but you’d have to protect me because there’s no way I’m letting you go out there alone,” Tara said firmly. “Which would leave Xander here which would mean I broke my word to Anya.”



“Then stay here,” Giles said in a more restrained tone.



“No,” Tara said flatly. “The alternative is I call Buffy to watch your back.”



“I’m a Watcher,” Giles replied. “There’s nothing out there that can match me if I put my mind to it.”



“Warren with a gun,” Tara said levelly. “Maybe the others too. They’ll probably have those night vision goggles or laser sights and all the other commando toys. Can you see in the dark? Are you bulletproof? That’s what’s out there now. A cross isn’t going to turn a trio of hollow-point bullets back from your heart, or from Buffy’s. Warren shot her too in that future.”



Giles saw the glistening tracks of Tara’s tears. He knew what she meant by ‘too’. He stopped and put down his jacket. Tara slumped in her nest. Giles knelt beside her and hugged the blue-eyed witch.



“It’ll be better in the morning,” Tara promised softly as Giles began to cry silently. “It’ll be better.”





===========================================================





Xander woke up with a crick in his neck. He blinked at the sunlight and tried to sit up. The bed wasn’t as wide as he remembered and there was a thump as he hit the floor. Xander looked around the room. Willow looked in and smiled.



“Okay, what part of last night was a really weird dream?” Xander asked. “And which part was just embarrassing reality?”



“Giles is here from England,” Willow said ticking off her points with her fingers. “Tara helped stabilize a portal, alone, which is so irresponsible I’m actually considering guilt measures on the two of them, or at least making them help me choose the entertainment for your bachelor party. You went after a vampire and found three instead. Anya took her gun home, and boy is she conflicted between scared for her love poodle and pissed off at her fiancé.”



“Love poodle?” Xander said blushing.



“Believe me, I so don’t want to know,” Willow said quickly. “Oh, there was a gnome with AV equipment up his fundament, which is kind of just what I’d expect from those creepy little guys. The nerds I mean, but those garden gnomes sometimes give me the willies too. Besides the magic spell that’s wrapped around you like a custom made suit most of the rest of it was probably some sort of alternative memory intruding at whatever trigger points you remember things by.”



“Love poodle?” Xander asked again.



“Yep,” Willow nodded.



“Who heard that?” Xander asked with a grimace.



“Who’s a love poodle?” Dawn asked as she picked up her book pack.



“Well, I think that makes everyone,” Willow said brightly.



“Is that a reference to some sex-”



“I think your ride’s here,” Willow said quickly.



“Fine,” Dawn huffed. “But if you don’t tell me I’ll just find out on street corners.”



“When you’re thirty,” Buffy said coming down the stairs. “Remember, you’re getting your bridesmaid’s dress after school.”



“Cool!” Dawn smiled. “You’ll pick me up?”



“Me or the love poodle,” Buffy replied.



“It’ll be Buffy,” Xander said miserably. “I’m hiding under the couch for the next year.”



As Dawn hurried out the door Xander took a large breath in relief. There was a tantalizing scent in the air. He looked toward the kitchen and Willow smiled.



“Tara’s cooking pancakes,” Willow said distantly as she closed her eyes for a moment and sighed happily.



Xander stood up and felt only partly grubby. He looked for his shoes and finally decided a full belly would help him with the search. He stumbled into the kitchen to see Giles reading a paper and looking rested. Willow and Buffy entered the room. Xander wondered if the glance he saw Giles give Buffy was real or just his imagination. He sat at the counter next to Giles. Xander looked at Tara, or rather the pan she was cooking with, with a hungry smile.



“Will pancakes help me with this spell and weird vision thing?” Xander asked.



“Tara’s pancakes help everything,” Willow answered.



Xander watched Tara’s smile at Willow’s comment. It seemed to be more than a friendly smile and Xander hoped he was seeing what was there and not what he just wanted to see.



“You’re going to need a decent breakfast,” Giles said politely. “I’ve come up with a way that just may help show us what you were supposed to stop.”



“Good work,” Buffy said quickly. Xander had no doubt her smile at Giles was embarrassed and forced.



“Here,” Tara said slipping a large pancake onto Xander’s plate. “Buffy, could you help me with the big pan for tonight?”



“Tonight?” Willow asked with a complete lack of nonchalance.



“I think we need to stay kind of close until we f-figure this out,” Tara said heading for the closet just off the kitchen.



“Sounds good,” Xander nodded as Willow tried to hide her smile.



“I’ve just got two classes today,” Willow said still smiling. “I could get back early.”



“Oh boy,” groaned Xander. “I’ve got to get to the worksite.”



“Not today,” Willow said with a conspiratorial grin. “I told them I’m tricking you into getting stuff for the bachelor party. They’re expecting quite the bacchanal.”



For some reason Willow looked at Giles with a smile that spoke of cats and canaries.





===========================================================





“Which pan do you want?” Buffy asked as Tara opened the door and blocked the view to the kitchen.



“That one,” Tara pointed. As she leaned closely to Buffy to show her Tara whispered, “You’ve got to talk to Giles. Today.”



“Today isn’t good,” Buffy whispered. “I can’t do today. Later. Next week looks good, just not today. Okay?”



Tara just looked at Buffy. The Slayer seemed to wilt. She nodded.



“Today,” Buffy muttered.



Tara gave her a quick hug. Buffy scrambled up the closet and grabbed the pan. She gave it to Tara.



“Thanks,” Buffy said softly.





===========================================================





“If you needed I could stay here, be moral support,” Willow said as she grabbed her books.



“Will, I’d never forgive myself if I came between you and school,” Xander said with a weak grin.



“You can come by and say hi to Miss Kitty,” Tara said quietly.



“But she was at my mom’s,” Willow said with a frown.



“She broke the nineteenth century Chinese vase,” Tara explained.



“The ugly 1930s fake,” Willow said shaking her head. “I bet she filled the poor thing with guilt. Or would have if cats could feel guilt.”



“I think we’re safe there,” Tara smiled.





===========================================================



“I need to get some stuff from the store,” Buffy said pulling out a list and her keys.



“Here,” Xander said taking some money out of his wallet. “If I’m going to create a crisis the least I can do is help with the catering.”



“Thanks Xan,” Buffy said as she headed for the door.



“Well,” Xander said with a false cheeriness as Buffy left. “Let’s get down to where I’ve fucked up.”



“Describe the vision that has you attacking Anya,” Giles said sitting down.



“It’s kind of mixed up,” Xander said with a worried shrug. “I’m in a tuxedo, but I’m-I’m slugging down a beer and fighting with her and then I…I grab a frying pan and I swing and I wake up.”



“In that order?” Giles asked intently.



“Sometimes I see Anya more clearly,” Xander said thinking. “She’s older. I’m fatter.”



“But the visions of Buffy and Tara are more recent?”



“Yeah, right down to my shirt and Tara’s top.”



“Are there any other visions?”



“Well, there’s one I saw just last night, and I think I dreamed it too. You were there, and you had on that jacket, but you looked a lot older. Well, maybe not old in years. Willow was next to you, only it wasn’t Willow. Not really. It looked like she had all the life drained out of her. She just…shuffled onto a plane with you.”



“Like she’d lost her best friend and her love,” Giles said darkly. “And I’d lost something dear, again.”



“Yeah,” Xander said sitting gracelessly.



“How old was Willow?” Giles asked.



“She looked like she does now, except…” Xander stopped and shuddered. “What does it mean?”



“You’re an idiot,” Giles shrugged.





===========================================================





Willow had walked the short distance to the university for months now and couldn’t remember a more beautiful day. Tara and she had caught up on nothing but class and school stories. Nothing else had been touched. The most romantic thing mentioned had been eighteenth century art but Willow could swear birds were singing in tune to Tara’s voice.



“Pity it’s overcast and gray today,” Tara said looking up at the glowering sky. “It looks like it’s going to rain.”



“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” Willow replied.





===========================================================





“Well, that wasn’t the insightful deduction I was looking for,” Xander said blinking in surprise.



“You fought with Anya, and she stayed with you?” Giles asked with a raised eyebrow.



“Well, she could, I mean…” Xander said hesitantly.



“I’d suggest that she’d beg D’Hoffryn for her old demon job and flay you six ways from next Tuesday,” Giles said leaning back in his chair.



“Yeah!” Xander said more brightly. “You’re right! She’d never stand for it. It seemed so real, but there’s no way she’d stay with me.”



“Then there’s the beer swilling wife beater,” Giles sighed.



“Just how far does the apple fall from the tree?” Xander asked, looking down.



“In your case, the next county,” Giles replied easily. “Xander, you are not your father.”



“Yeah, but-”



“No!” Giles said with steel in his voice. “You listen to me. You are ten times the man your father ever was. He couldn’t face a vampire sober, you’ve faced half a dozen apocalypses.”



“I’ve held Buffy’s coat half a dozen times. Do you know how many times she’s saved my life?”



“Yes. And I know how many times you’ve saved hers.”



“Hey, I was the guy eating spiders.”



“And you came back to face a hell god. Actually, you knocked her through the wall.”



“Yeah, but I – I raised Buffy. That was greedy and – and -”



“Very human. I don’t think you did it by yourself.”



“I didn’t help Willow,” Xander said looking away.



“You don’t know how to even start.”



“But…” Xander floundered for words as he realized Giles was right. He didn’t know what to say or do for Willow.



Or his parents.



“Xander,” Giles went on steadily. “You have no powers a dozen other good men don’t have.”



“Let’s not forget my last magical fling. People died.”



“Yes, they did. You’ve made mistakes. You’ve made a bloody balled-up mess of some things. So have I. Now we’re just going to have to deal with them, both of us. It’s what men have to do.”



The silence in the room grew for a long moment. Xander stood up and faced Giles.



“What do I do?” Xander asked.



“For now, just go and be with Anya for the day,” Giles answered. “Work on the wedding. If you have any visions write them down. Don’t analyze them, just get every detail you possibly can.”



“Right,” Xander nodded. Then he stopped and looked at Giles. “We don’t have to hug now, do we?”



“Dear Lord, I hope not.”





===========================================================





Willow couldn’t believe how much Miss Kitty had missed her. The small cat had been meowing since she’d arrived and rubbed on nearly everything Willow had with her. Willow had concentrated on the cat and the scents of Tara’s room. She saw a book out of place and went to push it back into place. The faintest tinge of magic touched her hand. Willow pushed the book in but it didn’t go. Willow pulled the book out and removed the crystal that had fallen behind the book. There was a surge of power. Willow pushed the book into the bookcase in alignment with the others and placed the crystal neatly on the top of the bookcase. She was surprised that she wasn’t trembling. Willow turned around to see Tara just looking at her with a small smile.



“I miss having the woman who keeps things tidy come in,” Tara said gently.



“You could get another one,” Willow said and hated the words because she knew they were true.



“No,” Tara said shaking her head.



“That’s the best no I’ve ever heard,” Willow said with a shaky smile. “There’s things I-I-”



“There’s things that will wait,” Tara said surely. “At least until after classes.”



Willow nodded thankfully. Miss Kitty took this moment to demand more attention. She got it when Willow picked her up and blew on her belly fur. The cat reached out and grabbed Willow’s nose with her paws but no claws and purred.





===========================================================





At the Sunnydale Bison Lodge the assistant manager watered the plants by the door. The water dissolved the nutrients in the soil and took them to the roots. Some of the compounds were taken in quickly, and by the end of the day they were part of the plant itself.



Across the street Saunders looked at a pyramid of wire and glass. The dark red stain on one of the panels started to fade and the barest outline of the plant could be seen. He nodded at the image and the health of the plant. It wasn’t the first time his hobby of gardening had proved useful to the firm. Wolfram and Hart made it easy to use all of his talents.





===========================================================





Elizabeth hit a rough patch as part of the second causality stream disappeared. She stayed focused, even if she could feel the struggle her anchor was going through. She wondered how long it had been in real time since either of them had slept. She pushed that thought away. There was no time for anything but staying alive in the unfolding mix of realities.





===========================================================

Edited by: jixer at: 2/13/04 2:58 pm

Actually I found the frantic pace very fitting with the events, and it worked very well. But this chapter was a bit easier on the mind. I'm curious about these other people, Elizabeth and Saunders. Especially with the gardening thing for him.



I liked Willow's crack about the ugly 30's fake Chinese vase, and how happy Miss Kitty was to see her. You're piecing the relationship back together realistically, and it bolsters the, uh, believability... of the story. As much as it's possible to believe this stuff.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

I really like this concept...I'm completely hooked *grin* I hope Xander can help them avoid the horrible things to come. I wonder if the wedding will actually happen. Can't wait for an update *grin*



Michelle

wow, it's been a while since i've left feedback for anyone. but wanted to definitely lelave you something...i read the entire thing today, and it has been amazing so far...i find myself on the edge of my seat trying to anticipate the next step...awesome fic so far...can't wait for more.



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

heya Jixer,

I have warm fuzzies from imagining Miss Kitty swiping at Willow with her paws and then I have scary angsty thoughts wondering what's going to happen next...yes you do make me nervous! So thanks for all the wonderful emotions you manage to conjure up with your writing.



So many mysteries...so many answers needed...I love it!



-Alcy

“It’s just my imagination. Some people have flat feet. Some people have dandruff. I have this appalling imagination…”

The Seven Year Itch.

Hi Jixer,



There's so much I like about this fic; where to begin?



The pace slows just a bit in this chapter, giving us (& the characters) time to reflect start working things out. It's great how Tara is the centre of this story; everyone orbits around her. In this chapter, she is helping each of the others to begin to heal. She has a sureness and confidence that she couldn't have shown before S6. It's as though she has come upon a horrible snarled tangle (like the one under my desk) and is lovingly and confidently untangling it, one strand at a time.



Poor Anya is just overwhelmed with worry for Xander (aka "love poodle"). Xander has more to worry about; once he realises he's not insane or homicidal, he's able to calm down. No wonder he's confused; not only having visions of the (hopefully preventable) future, but visions of visions.



Willow, after getting past her intitial anger at Tara and herself over the portal issue, is acting like someone head-over-heels in love. The walk to school, where "birds were singing in tune to Tara’s voice." The interaction in Tara's room, where so few words said so much. She's also acting like her old self with the others. Most significantly, I think, is that she was able to feel the magic, handle the crystal, and be unaffected by it: "She was surprised that she wasn’t trembling."



Hardest was Buffy's scene with Giles. Everything she said was true, and he needed to hear it. Once again, it's Tara who brings healing; the scene of Giles crying in Tara's arms is one of the most touching I've ever read.



Having been through this, Giles is able to help Xander, "You’ve made mistakes. You’ve made a bloody balled-up mess of some things. So have I. Now we’re just going to have to deal with them, both of us. It’s what men have to do.”



Of course you leave us with suspense. An evil gardener? That's just too harsh; gardeners are good and gentle folk, Sam Gamgees one and all.



Russ

That was great

Quote:

---

“No, he’s got a little thing probably my age on the side to help him get over the death of the mother of his children by doing horizontal therapy sessions on the beach in sunny Spain, and you’ve got your books in jolly old England,” Buffy said with a matching snarl. “Of the two of you I probably would give you a call if I thought you gave a damn about my best friend tearing her life apart or my sister being about one step away from foster care. But don’t worry, Giles, I can handle it. The Watchers have trained me so well for handling real life and trying to pay off a mortgage and coming back from Heaven and holding the line on the Hellmouth while raising a teenager who’s seen more shit than she ever should have. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some sleep so I can go back to handling it all myself

---

you go girl



I never liked the reason Giles left for most of S6. I understand ASH wanting to see his family more but it seems like ME were actually trying to come up with the lamest reason possible.



I like the way you're mixing the tension and humour in this story. I was at the love puppy stuff.



Looking forward to more

Postel's Prescription: Be generous in what you accept, rigorous in what you emit.

Interesting story, I'm looking forward to more!

Hello Kittens-



Working the St. Valentine's day weekend is over, and I return to both wife and feedback for a whole day.





Tempest Duer- The vase comes from watching too many episodes of 'Antiques Roadshow'. I think anything as special as W&T together needs a bit of time, and maybe a push or two.



pikescoob- Ah yes, the wedding. I believe there's something about the course of true love never being smooth. Hey, if you're going to steal plot devices, steal from the best!



OOOoo! funkyasian feedback. Glad to see you back Steph!



KiwiAlcyone- Mysteries and questions, revelations and hope. That's why Pens is better than Season Six DVDs. Cheaper too!



russ- Thank you. Of all the scenes Giles and Buffy was the hardest to write while Tara just fits into a grown up role, one that helps the others grow as well. I will refrain from looking at my own under-desk tangle until I'm up to writing horror.



As for Saunders, his hobby is gardening, not his profession. Something about dealing with composted steer manure and pruning and pulling thistles is cleaner than working for good old Wolfram and Hart.



justin- Giles leaving and the reason ME used is a big reason to call it Season Sux, but since it had happened at the point I veer away from canon I had to deal with it. I also disliked the way the Slayers were treated so Giles kind of got both barrels at once. Sorry about that, old boy.



DeviCrystalseeker- I hope I can keep it interesting and readable. Thanks!





Now, on to the update below.



Jixer

Edited by: jixer at: 2/16/04 5:52 pm

Chapter 4

Peaks and Troughs







Buffy pushed open the back door and struggled with several bags of groceries and a pair of gallon jugs of milk. Just as she was going to have to make decision about squeezing the bags and risk breaking the eggs or dropping the sack full of veggies Giles lifted the escaping bag and placed it on the counter.



“Thanks,” Buffy said as she got the rest of the load onto the counter without spilling it.



“That was a lot to carry,” Giles said with a faintly disapproving look.



“Is this a metaphor?” Buffy asked.



“Actually I was going to suggest making two trips,” Giles said evenly.



“I am,” Buffy explained.



“Just how much did you get?” Giles asked as he followed her to the car.



“All the staples I could afford. Its what gets bought with this paycheck,” Buffy said handing him a large bag full of pasta and rice.



“And the next one?” Giles asked as Buffy rounded up bags that clinked.



“Bills. Mostly the electricity bill. Do you know how much they want to charge these days?”



“More than is reasonable?”



“The power lines must be made of gold,” Buffy said ruefully. “The next two checks are mortgage payments. Thank God we refinanced.”



“We refinanced?” Giles asked.



“Willow did the research, Anya did the bargaining,” Buffy explained. “She didn’t quite make the loan officer cry, but it was close.”



“Shouldn’t your mother’s mortgage company have had an insurance policy?” Giles asked.



“It wasn’t enough,” Buffy said tiredly. “Thanks for the help.”



Buffy put away the perishables in silence. She closed the door to the fridge and looked at Giles. The quiet became a presence in the room.



“Buffy-” Giles started.



“Giles-” Buffy said at the same moment. Both of them stopped again.



“About last night,” Buffy said looking away.



“Yes?” Giles said with a catch in his throat.



“I’m sorry,” Buffy said flatly. “I’m sorry but…”



“But some of it is true and it hurts so much you can’t look at me,” Giles said levelly. “Because if you do you the resentment will surface and you don’t want it to, and you feel some little happiness and your anger doesn’t want that either.”



“There’s more than a little happiness,” Buffy said looking at him finally with a wan smile.



“And more than a little anger,” Giles said, not reaching for her.



“Yeah,” Buffy nodded looking down. “I’m angry at you, at me, at my friends…at Spike.”



“But not at Dawn?” Giles asked carefully.



“No,” Buffy said evenly. “She’s been annoying, and she’s done some stupid things but no, I’m not angry at her.”



“What about your friends?” Giles inquired gently.



“God,” Buffy said looking up at the ceiling. “She brings me back and then she nearly gets my sister killed. Magic, she just can’t leave it alone. It’s like she forgot everything else that made her so great. Then I stop and think.”



“Oh?”



Giles was surprised as Buffy slumped into a chair. She looked at him and shook her head slightly.



“Dawn made a wish,” Buffy said quietly. “Big surprise that there was a Vengeance Demon nearby. Shit happened. In the midst of all the mojo running around Anya suggested we get Willow to do a spell. I kind of didn’t think about it until afterwards. I was-I was agreeing with Anya. We’ve been relying on Will to be the one with the power for a while. I needed Willow to be strong. I never stopped to think about what it was costing her, how it was changing her.”



“Did Willow do the magic?” Giles asked.



“No, she refused, thank God,” Buffy sighed. “Then Tara stepped in and defended her. It wasn’t our most shining moment.”



“What about Tara?”



“Yes, she helped bring me back, but if Dawn gets through this as an actual adult it’s because of her,” Buffy said ruefully. “She never let go of Dawn. She’s been there for movies and milkshakes and I know Dawn’s been showing up at Tara’s dorm when things get hairy at home.”



“How do you know that?” Giles asked with a frown.



“Tara calls me so I won’t worry.”



“Have you talked to her about…?” Giles couldn’t find a word to match the feeling in his gut.



“She didn’t tell you, did she?” Buffy asked with a small smile.



“Tara was rather evasive about some things,” Giles replied.



“I asked her not to tell anyone,” Buffy said distantly. “I thought I was a monster. Tara made me see I wasn’t.”



Giles had a sudden surge of jealousy. Somehow he felt Tara had replaced him. Then he felt a wave of cold self-recrimination wash over him as he realized he’d been more or less counting on Tara to keep things under control.



A girl who’d been mind raped by a hell god, Giles thought in the clear light of day. Someone who’s own world had been shaken by her lover’s actions. ‘I know you’re going through a rough patch but please take over so Buffy can mature a bit.’



“You thought she was going to step in and be all tweedy,” Buffy said looking at Giles carefully.



“Not the first bloody stupid thing I did,” Giles admitted.



“She’s the most grown up of all of us but-but damn it, you think she could replace you?” Buffy asked as her anger broke through.



“No!” Giles snapped back, his own anger surging. “I thought you’d have enough sense to look for help with a friend you could trust!”



“I couldn’t-” Buffy started. Then she shook her head. “Yes I could. Oh God, why didn’t I go to her sooner?”



“Because you were too busy helping Willow and trying to raise Dawn,” Giles answered gently. “While keeping the vampires at bay and dealing with demons. It was too much. I should have been here.”



For the second time a silence grew between them. Buffy looked up at Giles with tears in her eyes.



“You were right, you know,” she said raggedly. “I was leaning on you, and I wasn’t going to stop. I couldn’t lean on Tara, she wasn’t strong enough then, so I didn’t go to her. I couldn’t ask for some help. I wanted somebody who would do it all. I was weak and stupid-”



“Stop it!” Giles yelled.



Buffy looked at him as he stood up and paced for a moment. Finally he looked at her and took off his glasses. She could see the streaks of tears on his face.



“Damn it, you were pulled out of heaven,” Giles said tightly. “And I left you at the mouth of Hell to grow up.”



Giles turned away from her, fighting for control. Buffy reached out and froze, her hand a bare inch from Giles. Then she started to turn away. She saw the neatly folded blanket and pillow where Tara had left them. Buffy turned back and touched Giles on the back. He turned to her and they embraced.



“I’m not alone in this,” she said tightly.



“No,” Giles agreed raggedly. “I missed you. I’m sorry.”



“Me too.”





===========================================================





Dawn walked quickly along to the campus of UC Sunnydale. Tara had a short day today and Study Hall had been easy to ditch just before lunch.



With luck I can get some Tara time and a lunch out of this visit, the girl thought happily.



Then her mood darkened. She was really going to Tara because Giles being back and something going wrong with Xander made her uneasy. She thought she should have nothing but good thoughts about Giles being back, but at the back of her mind something told her he’d leave again.



“I’m over that,” she said aloud with more conviction than she knew she had.



Dawn sighed and hoped talking with Tara would help. She was almost to the campus when she saw something ahead of her that looked familiar. She concentrated and suddenly stopped in her tracks. On the other side of the street Tara was walking with Willow. Dawn hid behind a shade tree and watched as Tara turned to look at Willow and both girls smiled.



That was Willow’s Tara-smile!Dawn thought as she stared at the couple. And Tara’s doing the ‘she’s so cute’ smile at Willow!



Dawn literally wriggled as she kept the tree mostly between her and the two witches. She barely contained a shriek when Tara gave Willow a look with a smile that had once meant they’d be gone in their room for hours. Finally the two young women turned a corner and she lost sight of them. Dawn hurried back to school, staying out of the path they had taken. Finally she could hold it in no longer.



“YES!” Dawn squealed.





===========================================================





Saunders pulled his suit jacket a bit closer in the cold. The lumpy figure behind the desk glared at him.



“We don’t usually rent to, ah,” the creature started.



“Well paying clients?” Saunders asked neutrally.



“There are other cold storage places,” the creature growled.



“None that can keep the ingredients for a meal of gravnak ready,” the lawyer replied.



“Gravnak?” the voice asked hungrily.



“Cold, I’m afraid,” Saunders explained. “And missing some blood.”



“Damn!” sighed the proprietor. “This low fat, low carb thing has gotten totally out of hand. Gravnak is best when they’re still bleeding, but then I have to admit I’m a traditionalist. I’ll let you have seventeen. No magic in the building without permission.”



“Of course,” Saunders agreed.





===========================================================





Tara and Willow arrived at the Magic Box just in time to see four customers staggering out of the store under bundles of parcels. Willow looked at them as they made for their cars. Tara looked inside to see a fifth person struggling with the door. Tara opened the door for what turned out to be a middle-aged man with very little magic in his aura. Both witches went in and saw a sign next to the cash register with Anya’s picture on it. She was pointing to a pile of benign magical components with the banner ‘Charming House Kit’. Willow leaned closely to see ‘A free gnome with every kit!’



“Charming House Kit?” Tara asked.



“I’m advertising on the cable home improvement shows,” Anya said proudly. “They’re going so fast Xander’s downstairs getting the fourth lot ready.”



“But if they bought the components they’d save a bundle,” Willow said as she looked at the kit and did the math.



“If they could tell the difference between St. John’s Wort and belladonna,” Anya pointed out. “We’re talking do it yourself home owners, not sorcerers.”



“Why the free gnome?” Tara asked.



“After finding the freaks’ little spy camera in a gnome’s cavity I’m getting rid of my stock,” Anya said firmly. “They used my brand. If there are any other surprises I don’t want to be part of a lawsuit.”



“Magic meets lawyers,” Willow sighed. “Welcome to the twenty-first century. Speaking of gnomes, have you checked around here for cameras?”



“Besides my security camera here and in the stockroom?” Anya asked and then innocently added, “Oh, and the one over the couch in the training room?”



“The what?” both witches asked at once in a slightly panicked tone.



“The one I really wished I had put in now,” Anya grinned.



“You really are evil,” Willow said relaxing. “Seriously, have you looked?”



“It’s a shop,” Anya replied. “Why would they watch this place?”



“Because it’s a magic shop, in Sunnydale, where Buffy hangs out,” Willow said musing, and trying to think like slime. Suddenly she looked toward the training room. “The changing room!”



Anya hurried back with the others to the small space near the training room. Willow looked over the room quickly. Then she stopped at a small patch of plaster. Along the side there was a tiny round spot.



“What are we looking at-hey, that’s not my work,” Xander said defensively behind them. “The color isn’t a match.”



“What are we looking at?” Buffy asked behind them. “It’s not a bug, is it?”



“Kind of,” Tara said with a frown.



“Got it!” Willow said as she turned with the tiny camera trailing fine wires in her hand. “Ah, Buffy…”



The Slayer looked at the camera. She took it from Willow’s hand. There was a cracking sound. Buffy looked at Willow and the rest. Slowly a feral snarl crossed her face.



“Find them, all of them,” she said quietly. “Take them all out, except for one.”





===========================================================





Warren watched angrily as one feed after the other faded into nothing. He couldn’t understand how they had found the gnomecam, especially someone with a room temperature IQ like Xander Harris. He froze as the dark blonde with the great tits accidentally pushed a book over the last camera and microphone package in the Magic Box.



“What’s the emergency?” Andrew asked as he scrambled into the room.



“We’re losing our monitors on the Slayer,” Warren growled. “We’ve only got one but it’s blocked.”



“How’d they find them?” Andrew asked incredulously.



“Harris,” snarled Warren. “He found the gnomecam.”



“He couldn’t tell a bantha from a blaster,” Andrew groaned. “How did he find it?”



“Watch,” Meers said as he pulled up the video download.



They watched Xander stop and stare for a moment. Then he reached right for the concealed camera and yanked it out of the ground.



“He knew where it was,” Andrew said softly.



“And just how did he find that out?” Warren asked.



“What’s the big problem that can’t wait?” Jonathon asked as he slumped into a chair.



“That’s what I’d like to know,” Warren said darkly as he and Andrew turned to face Jonathon.





===========================================================





“That’s the last one,” Tara said dropping the spell.



“Well crafted,” Giles said.



“I didn’t know an earth based witch could do that,” Anya said watching Tara closely.



“I think of the power m-movements and the elements of the other camera,” Tara explained. “It would have been easier with a working camera to start with.”



“Sorry about that,” Buffy said, not sounding sorry at all.



“She found them all anyway,” Willow nodded. “She’s good.”



I shouldn’t sound proud of her, Willow reminded herself. I don’t have any reason to be proud of her because she’s not mine.



Then Tara smiled at her shyly.



Yet





===========================================================





Giles felt some inner tension he hadn’t recognized ease as he watched Willow out of the corner of his eye. There was no sign of jealousy, no longing at the displays of power, controlled as it was, that Tara had been doing since his arrival.



I hope she’s ready, Giles thought.



“What are we doing to get my guy fixed up?” Anya asked standing next to Xander.



“We’re going to go over the visions Xander’s had so far and try to reason out where the attack will come from,” Giles said calmly.



“What about protection?” Anya asked pointedly. “I don’t care how brave he is he can’t stop a magic attack.”



“Quite,” Giles agreed. “That’s why we’ll be using magic of our own.”



“I’ve been practicing,” Tara said hesitantly. “But I’m not s-strong enough to do this by myself.”



“I know, Tara,” Giles said carefully. “That’s why you’ll be using Willow’s power.”

Very good to see the Buffy/Giles reconciliation. The two of them admit and face all the stupidity of S6. Lots of wrong-headed moves from them both, but Giles rightly bears the bulk of the responsibility. He was, after all, the adult, the responsible one. And, "I left you at the mouth of Hell to grow up." Thanks to Tara they're ready to move ahead together, forgiving the past.



Gotta love Dawn here; her enthusiasm over Willow & Tara's getting back together is cute & funny. I love the way she can read and interpret their smiles. She knows them better than they do themselves; Willow with, "she's not mine. Yet." Oh yes she is, Willow.



So, Saunders is preparing gravnak. Of course, should have guessed. Isn't that something I saw Emeril prepare once? Even low fat & low carb it doesn't sound too appetizing.



Looks like Jonathon's going to be scapegoated for the spycams being found. It'll be interesting to see what Buffy has in mind; I suspect the trio won't enjoy it.



Willow seems to be truly free of magic's hold, so Giles wants to toss her back into it. He'd better be wearing armour after that last line; I suspect Tara's going to be a tad upset.



Russ

I liked the reconciliation scene between Buffy and Giles, especially Giles' line... "You were pulled out of Heaven and I left you on the mouth of Hell to grow up." It's so... guilt-ridden but accurate and touching in a weird, non-touchy-feely way. It was cool.



And Tara's going to be using Willow's power for a spell? This means that they'll have to form some sort of connection. Hmm.... connection.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon

fantastic story... your premise intrigues me...



can't wait to see how all these changes affect the rest of s6... awesome job.



-spud

heya jixer,

this is an awesome chapter! I loved the interaction between Buffy and Giles, I was all teary eyed when he said he left her at the mouth of hell to grow up.

And of course, Willow and Tara cuteness never goes astray, their relationship is slowly coming right, with just the little glances, the little smiles evident so far. You write it so very well and I can't wait for more W/T reconciliation.

And yay for thwarting the nerds! I can't stand them! They give Sci-Fi geeks a bad name.



-Alcy

“It’s just my imagination. Some people have flat feet. Some people have dandruff. I have this appalling imagination…”

The Seven Year Itch.

It's nice to see Tara get some credit...and her and Willow getting a bit closer again *happy sigh* Warren thinks Jonathan spilled the beans...now that their surveillance is takin out I wonder what their next move will be.



Michelle

No more Season Sux remakes huh? THANK YOU FOR LYING!!!



I LOVE THIS CONCEPT. Xander being the hero....well, I woulda went with Spike before Xander myself...but that's my own petty annoyances.



Tara replacing Giles...liked that they actually discussed the concept. I always wished they had pointed it out in the series, but ya know...idiots and all that.



Dawn and Tara's relationship...dead on...I can so see Dawn skipping school to go see Tara. And Buffy admitting to said fact that Tara was responsible for Dawn's upbringing...perfect. Certainly wouldn't credit Buffy too much.



Willow and Tara...so cute with the getting togetherness...sorta...you know what I mean. One thing I would love to know...why does Anya have a gun? So unscoobylike...at what point did she become so insecure about being human?



Giles and Buffy face off....perfect...the fact that Tara made Buffy do it...dead on.



Have I praised enough yet? Or should I keep going?



More...soon...pretty please.

Love Will Find a Way

Edited by: jessan15  at: 2/19/04 4:40 pm