Aeternum Vale (AU)

FlyingPoppy · **Posted:** Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:28 am

Eek! Ok, I'm actually doing this. This is just a very short prologue. I'll post another part in a couple of days, then updates will be once weekly. Gonna run and hide now!

•Title: Aeternum Vale - Prologue

•Author: FlyingPoppy

•Feedback: Here or by pm is fine.

•Distribution: No, thanks. It's just for Pens.

•Rating: R

•Pairing: W/T

•Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Willow and Tara, they belong to :joss

ME/UPN/whoever. All other characters belong to me. I'm just writing a story to keep myself out of mischief, I'm not making any money from it.

•Summary: This story is totally AU and will be long. Two girls meet and fall in love, but all is not what it seems.

•Notes:

- The hellmouth does not exist in this story but evil certainly does. A happy ending for W/T is certain, it's going to be a bumpy ride, though. Turn back now if your vehicle doesn't equip the suspension to deal...

- Thoughts in

- Many thanks to Kita for her beta work

Forsan Miseros Meliora Sequentur...

She leaned back against the headboard, obviously fatigued, and let out a huge sigh; so much emotion conveyed in one simple action.

Four months she'd been here. Was that all it had been? Four months that had seemed more like four years. Four months that had changed her life forever.

Going back over the events of the previous evening, she thought hard of a way to get across just how she felt and what exactly was going on, but there were still things she wasn't sure of, things she had no words to explain. She had known for some time that this day would eventually come, the day when all was revealed. No matter how much preparation she had done, it would never have been enough. Never enough to account for that one little thing that no one could ever prepare for, human nature. This in turn made her wish she'd never come here, never tried to help.

No, there was no going back now, if she didn't act soon there'd be nothing to go back to anyway. She had to see this through. Had to explain. This was her one chance to make things right, their one chance at a life.

Leaning over the side of the bed, she picked up a small note pad that she had tossed to the floor in disgust moments earlier.

she chastised herself.

And oh, how she wanted to get this right. She felt a tear force its way from the corner of her eye. She'd cried so many tears in the last couple of hours, one more wasn't going to bother her, there were more important things to be worrying about. She let the tear start a meandering stream down her cheek and fall to the floor. Somewhere in the distance she could hear a Church bell ringing.

She got to her feet and peered out of the window, the bright light forcing its way past the heavy barrier and breaking its way into the once dark room. She dropped the curtain back, as the light burned her eyes, and sat back down.

On the floor around the bed, there was indeed a growing pile of screwed up bits of paper, words that wouldn't quite come, didn't make sense once they were written upon the page. She realised that she had been going about this the wrong way, that words on a page were impersonal and could seem cold when they were intended to be warm and loving.

Suddenly, she decided to jump up and pull back the heavy blackout drapes, she'd always been unable to sleep if even a crack of light were in the room, switched off the light and made her way slowly down the stairs. Her heart broke a little more with every beat, the emptiness she felt echoing around her almost palpable, as she walked towards the scene of the worst experience of her short life.

~~~~~~~~~~

The kitchen was far worse than her memory allowed, though it was fair to say that at the time she was unconcerned with her newly acquired material possessions and had barely taken anything in. She remembered the table being tipped up, but the missing leg was news to her, as were the strange scorch marks evident on every wall, paint blistering beneath them. The marks became darker as they came towards the small window that was blown out, shards of glass hanging dangerously from the frame. Everything that had once found its home on a small shelf by the door was now scattered over the dirty black floor. The backdoor itself was hanging from its hinges, held in place by several thick planks of wood. If she were honest, she'd say it looked almost like there had been a small explosion in the room.

Her eyes scanned the worktop by the fridge. she thought drolly,

She knew she had a lot of work to do before she could allow herself to catch up on some much needed sleep. It was a cold morning so she decided to indulge herself and build a small fire to warm the room and maybe the atmosphere with it, in the hope that if she returned, it would be more welcoming than a frigid house. After she'd accomplished building a half decent fire, she went to the kitchen and made some coffee before returning to the growing warmth of the fire and settling on her couch.

As she spent the morning striving to find the words, the thought of a nice nap by the fire was one of two things that kept her going. The other thing was with her constantly, was the only thing that really mattered.

A frown crossed her face as she felt a familiar tingling deep in her belly. Then came the knock at the door. It was the moment she had been holding on to, yet dreading at the same time. She was here.

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
Edited by: FlyingPoppy at: 3/21/04 11:34 am

maudmac · **Posted:** Sun Mar 21, 2004 12:42 pm

Poppy! Check you out, all posty with the fic!

And...wow...what an excellent start, too. I'm intrigued. Which one of them is that and what happened and why is she so scared?

I read it twice, once imagining it's Tara and once imagining it's Willow, but I still can't figure it out. Poppy! You're so good!

This is awesome. I am soooo looking forward to more. Gonna be a long ride, huh? I'll start packing, because I plan to be along every step of the way.

Thank you!

I have no professional training. I already gave my best. I have no regrets at all.

sam darls · **Posted:** Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:23 pm

Hey sweetie..wow..that was so good. I loved it

. I hope you're okay. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

onyxsundrops · **Posted:** Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:33 pm

Very interested in finding out what happens next, and also who 'she' is. Thanks.

Yvonne :peace

FlyingPoppy · **Posted:** Tue Mar 23, 2004 8:36 am

maudmac - I can exclusively reveal that...I'm not telling. What I can tell you is that you may be a little, um, frustrated by the first three words of this next part. All of your questions will be answered...in time.

sam darls - Thanks, hon. Glad you liked it. I was really nervous about posting it, but that makes me feel better about it!

onyxsundrops - Thanks Yvonne. You'll probably be able to guess who 'she' is pretty soon but you won't know for sure for a while yet.

Updates are going to be weekly now, probably continuing to be on a Tuesday.

I want to thank a couple of special kittens for giving my fragile ego a boost and getting me to actually post this. You know who you are

•Title: Aeternum Vale - Chapter One.

•Author: FlyingPoppy

•Feedback: Here or by pm is fine.

•Distribution: No, thanks. It's just for Pens.

•Rating: R

•Pairing: W/T

•Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Willow and Tara, they belong to ME/UPN/whoever. All other characters belong to me. I'm just writing a story to keep myself out of mischief, I'm not making any money from it.

•Summary: This story is totally AU and will be long. Two girls meet and fall in love, but all is not what it seems.

•Notes:

- The hellmouth does not exist in this story but evil certainly does. A happy ending for W/T is certain, it's going to be a bumpy ride, though. Turn back now if your vehicle doesn't equip the suspension to deal...

- Thoughts in

- Many thanks to Kita for her beta work

Chapter One - Non Semper Erit Aestas

Four Months Previously...

"MOLLY!! Will you please get your ass down here, NOW!"

"Oh man, she's pissed," Molly sighed.

Willow tried to smile as she stood to leave. "You know, I should be going anyway. Don't want to incur the wrath of Natalie or anything," she half joked as a wry smile tried to break through her frown. Willow closed up her laptop and slid it back into its carry case. She was in a rush to escape the strained atmosphere that she felt starting to develop.

Molly squeezed her arm apologetically in an attempt to reassure her friend. "She's not how you think she is, you know. If.."

"No, it's ok. Really," Willow interrupted, not wanting to become embroiled in something that was really none of her business. "I have a few more ideas we can try, so don't give up yet, just let me know if that doesn't work," she gestured towards the antiquated PC on Molly's desk. "Anytime you need any help. Like they say, there's nothing like a little early morning brain workout to get the juices flowing," Willow said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"You're looking good today Will," Molly commented, "Some might say chipper. Anything you want to tell me about? Or anyone?" she fished, raising an eyebrow.

"You know me Molly, I only go out on dates when you set me up with one of your no hope friends - like the butterfly woman..." Willow left her sentence hanging and fixed a stare at her friend, not needing to add any further details.

Molly knew there was no getting out of this one, so tried to deflect the blame. "Look Willow, I told you, I didn't know. Natalie was the one who suggested her."

Between them they'd managed to set Willow up on the worst blind date of her life. Since then all their attempts at pairing up the lone redhead had fallen on deaf ears.

"Why are you so interested in my nonexistent sex life anyway? Can't I just be having a good day for a change?" Willow questioned as they descended the stairs.

"Of course you can, sweetheart," all trace of teasing was gone from Molly's voice, her deep love for Willow obvious in her tone. "I'm just hoping I guess, besides...cute girl like you, all alone...it's SO not right!" Molly grinned as she opened the front door for her and waved goodbye.

Willow left her best friend's house with her face almost matching her red hair and made her way through the quiet back streets of town.

There was a slight chill in the air, which was unusual for the time of year. As she wondered why she'd bothered to walk at such an early hour, she picked up the pace and berated herself for not actually adopting the fitness regime she'd been meaning to start for months now. The empty streets caused the small town to seem much eerier than it was in reality. Even though the sun had now started to make its way up over the horizon into the morning sky, a heavy mist hung in the air, beating back its light. Shadows lurked at almost every corner, unnerving the increasingly worried redhead.

As she crossed Western Road by the Bellion, the town's run down old movie theater now made obsolete by the emergence of the multiplex out by the mall, a shiver passed through her whole body.

Willow span round 360 degrees, but could see no one.

She increased her pace even more until she was virtually running, her chin jutting out in resolve, she finally rounded the corner to Main Street and relative safety, as tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~

A shadow moved over the upstairs window of the Bellion, it paid close attention to the petite woman as she passed by on the street outside; sensed her apprehension and distress. This was the one, it was obvious now. Quite how it hadn't been before wasn't clear. She'd walked the street below before and given off no sign. Things like this were meant to be easier than they had been so far. All the books had been very concise in their instructions, made everything seem so simple. It was becoming apparent that things weren't always so clear cut, events that were meant to happen didn't always come to pass.

Living in a musty old theatre was far from the ideal situation, it hadn't exactly made the mission any easier. Instead it had caused extreme difficulties blending in with the locals. Maybe this was a bad idea, there was something compelling about this place though. It was so different from home, so much bigger and busier.

The figure picked up a bag from behind the door and put several items from a small wooden chest in the bottom, left the dank room and made its way out into the street, rays of sunlight just beginning to break through the early morning mist.

~~~~~~~~~~

Molly arrived late for work for the third day in a row, which was most unusual. The tall, athletically built woman was a hard worker, having been brought up to always pull her weight, despite the wealth of her family. True, her father had pretty much set her up, meaning she didn't have to work, but he had encouraged her to actually do something with her life, as he had done to earn the small fortune in the first place. She'd chosen to establish a small nursery on the edge of town, up by Centenary Park. Business was steady and getting busier, but not too hectic. Two people could comfortably run the business between them, assuming the other person was anywhere near as hard working as Molly herself.

A few months previously her assistant had quit to move across country, leaving Molly with a heavy workload and unable to find the right person to fill the position. She'd given trial periods of employment to several people, none of whom had worked out. The first had turned out to have embellished their qualifications and had, in fact, known nothing about taking care of the different varieties of plants, even after being given careful instructions. Molly was always on the ball though and noticed the neglect immediately. After a very heartfelt discussion with the young woman, Molly had let her go. She liked the girl, but obviously it wasn't going to work out.

Next had been Jed, a complete disaster, even by Molly's standards. Sure he got the work done and seemed very knowledgeable, but he turned out to be a raging homophobe. Nat had dropped by to take her out to lunch a few days after he started, the next day he didn't show up, instead leaving a message about redemption and God's wrath on the shop answer machine. After several more misfits came Tara, who had breezed into the post a couple of weeks ago, now Molly felt like she'd known the serene young woman for years and couldn't imagine the place without her. The plants had really blossomed under her care, leaving Molly free to catch up on all the paperwork she had neglected without having to worry about what might be happening to all her stock.

"Tara, I'm so sorry, I promise this is the last time," Molly apologized as she rushed into the small shop at the entrance to the nursery grounds. "Things are starting to straighten themselves out now."

"You mean a certain puppy is learning how to behave?" her colleague questioned, breaking out into a half grin that Molly had come to associate solely with Tara, "Or you're just learning new ways to placate Nat?" she continued, her eyebrow raising as she spoke.

"Oh I can always think of some very pleasant ways to do that!" Molly laughed. "The trouble is she doesn't like when I..."

"Divulge too much information?" Tara finished for her, not really wanting to hear what might have come next but also knowing that Molly hadn't meant to vocalize what she had been thinking.

"Something like that..." A huge grin spread across Molly's face as some unspoken memory came to mind. "Right...anyway, what have you done so far?" Molly questioned as she composed herself then put her bag away in her locker and donned her overalls.

"I've watered in the first two greenhouses and tidied up the herb section. I was just going to go down to the bottom greenhouse and check the seedlings."

"You've been such a Godsend, Tara, I don't know what I would have done without you these last couple of weeks." Tara was surprised to find herself engulfed in a quick hug from her boss, who was swiftly becoming what she would consider a good friend.

With that, Tara ducked her head and blushed then headed off down the narrow path to continue her tasks, pleased to have found such an incredible place to work so quickly after her arrival in town.

~~~~~~~~~~

For the next two weeks, things went quite smoothly at the nursery. Tara was enjoying her work more than she thought was possible. There was just something about spending all day outdoors, close to nature, that appealed to her. Molly hadn't been late for work again, though Tara figured she could do what she wanted seeing as she owned the place. Molly always pulled her weight and Tara respected her all the more for her attitude. A lot of people would leave all the work to her and just give out orders all day. Molly felt like more of an equal than an employer to her.

She was just about to go out to the front and shut the gate for lunch when the bell rang, signaling the arrival of a customer. Tara sighed, silently asking why it always seemed to happen that way.

"Hi! How can I h-help you?" Tara asked cheerily, internally cursing the stutter that seemed to emerge at the most inopportune moments.

"Um....actually I was just looking for Molly," the beautiful redhead that had entered the shop replied.

Tara took a deep breath as she saw the woman's face for the first time, successfully fighting back a gasp.

"But I guess she's not here, so I'll call back later." Willow turned to leave, but was stopped by a soft exclamation and a gentle hand on her arm.

"No! Stay....oh, I-I mean she's just helping a lady pick the per-perfect rose bush. She won't be long." Tara let her hand drop and furrowed her brow, looking deadly serious, "Picking a rose bush is a serious business you know." She couldn't keep the straight act up for long and soon dissolved into giggles.

Willow laughed, intrigued by this obviously shy woman's attempt at humor. She held out her hand and introduced herself, "I'm Willow." A broad smile spread over her face.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Willow," Tara said, taking the offered hand and immediately feeling more relaxed. "My name's Tara...Tara Maclay. I've been helping Molly out here for about a month now. I take it you're not the sales rep, are you?"

"No, I'm Molly's...friend." Willow took a moment to think of the word she wanted to use.

"Molly said she'd finally found someone," Willow continued, trying to put the thought that she was nothing but a charity case out of her mind. "She never told me you were so..." Willow started, her voice getting quieter and higher pitched as the sentence progressed until it eventually tapered out.

"Hi, Molly!" Willow said a little too brightly as soon as her friend entered through the back door, causing Tara to smile, thankful that it wasn't her who was in Willow's position, seeing as she had almost given a eulogy on Willow's beautiful green eyes.

Willow breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

"Willow! I see you've met Tara," Molly greeted her, rushing over to hug her friend. She didn't see her as often as she used to and missed her company. It was virtually unknown for her to actually venture down to the nursery, preferring to keep to her own company for the majority of time.

"Um, yeah. We were just..." Willow trailed off for the second time in quick succession, totally captivated by Tara's presence.

Molly glanced at Tara and raised her eyebrow, a knowing glint in her eye and a thought taking form in her mind.

"I just came by to see if you had any pine ready, Molly. Or even cedar?" Willow asked optimistically.

Molly reached into a drawer, took out two small packets and handed them to Willow, who in turn reached into her bag and pulled out some cash.

"You have GOT to be kidding me, Rosenberg!!!" Molly shot out, "How many times do I have to tell you? What's the point of having my own business if I can't let my best friend have a few little bits and pieces every now and then?"

Willow blushed and put her wallet away. "How about lunch? I guess it's about that time. You can tell me all about your plan to..." Willow stopped and cast a quick glance in Tara's direction, then looked back at Molly, a look of question covering her face.

"It's ok, she knows," Molly told her, "No guilty secrets here."

"How about it then?" Willow asked.

"You know me, I'm always up for a bit of food and a girly chat. How about you Tara, would you like to join us?"

Willow gulped and looked to Tara for her response, hopeful that she'd be presented with an excuse to spend some time with this fascinating woman who was making her heart race.

Tara couldn't take her eyes away from Willow's as she answered Molly, "I don't mind staying and looking after things here, I can go when you get back. I don't want to intrude or anything...if you have things to talk about."

Molly rolled her eyes and fixed a stare at Tara, "I wouldn't invite you if I didn't want you to come along."

Willow smiled as she spoke, "It's ok with me too, if that's what you're worried about."

Tara folded her arms over her chest, feeling a little outnumbered. "Well ok. If you're s-sure I'm not intruding, I wouldn't want to hinder the g-girly chat session."

Molly put her arm round Willow's shoulder, "No, no intruding. Consider it an apology for my tardiness the last few days. Let's go, we can take my truck if you like."

With that she ushered Willow out of the door. Tara followed closely behind, hanging back slightly to take a sneaky look at the adorable woman's butt in the process.

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.

WhiteSkyFire · **Posted:** Tue Mar 23, 2004 9:02 am

Hey Poppy

Awesome story.. I will be checking in on it offen for updates... so cool...

-Sky-

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:03 pm

Ah Poppy, my fabulous co-beta...what is there that I can say that is not good? Your first part got me just like it got others, I had no idea who your girl was. I am going to go with the theory that it was Tara, but only time will tell.

You write very vibrantly. I really feel like I am getting into the skin of your characters.

Looking forward to many updates to come!

a.s.h.

sam darls · **Posted:** Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:10 pm

Sweetie..that was sooo good..I loved it

I can't wait for more..Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

maudmac · **Posted:** Wed Mar 24, 2004 12:08 am

Ah...sneaky, sneaky Poppy! Four months previously, huh? :lol

Okay, I admit it, it's better this way. Anticipation is fun.

And now this part is all intriguey, too. Who is living in the theater?!? Or...what is living there...

And what's this plan of Molly's?

Aww, look at Willow and Tara, smitten instantly.

I agree that it's vibrant writing. It's easy to really see what's happening.

Excellent update, Poppy. But you knew that already.

Updates on Tuesdays? I can look forward to Tuesdays again. Yay!

dreams of the drifters die hard, y'all / bodies dance through the dark to submission
fast feet and saturday night leave you nowhere to stand / but nobody here is leaving

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Wed Mar 24, 2004 8:38 am

Quote:
And what's this plan of Molly's?

Yeah, this has me scratching my head too. Nevermind that Tara seems to thing that Willow is "the One" with the capital O, permanent domestic bliss sort of way. I need to go back and re-read, but i doubt it will really lead me anywhere.

You have complete control of your story, and us with it!

a.s.h.

Kita830 · **Posted:** Wed Mar 24, 2004 9:44 pm

I'm so glad you posted. It's excellent as always.

Kita

----------------------------

I won't be held responsible she fell in love in the first place.

FlyingPoppy · **Posted:** Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:25 am

Just a few replies...

WhiteSkyFire - Thank you! I still can't quite believe that anyone actually likes this!

astrangerhere - Hey! Nice to see you here

You're looking forward to many more updates? There will be many more. Many, many, many more...the way it's going, I may be old and grey before this is actually finished. I just keep thinking of more stuff I want to write. I think it actually has control of me! Molly's plan...

sam darls - Glad you're still liking, liking that is, not licking, like I first wrote You won't have to wait much longer for more.

maudmac - Me? Sneaky??? I think you have the wrong person. Oh, ok, I'll come clean. I like intrigue! It's, er...intriguing. Instantly smitten does not mean all is well. As you are about to find out.
Quote:
I agree that it's vibrant writing. It's easy to really see what's happening.
It means a lot to me that both you and a.s.h said that, when I read I like to really be able to see it. To hear that people think that gives me so much confidence, thanks. Following on from that, no, I didn't already know it was an excellent update.

kita830 - Thanks for all your help, and the encouragement to actually post it

Update tomorrow.

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.

Aine · **Posted:** Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:24 pm

i just read through all of what you have so far. it's wonderful. i can't wait for another update. :bounce

stace

FlyingPoppy · **Posted:** Tue Mar 30, 2004 4:51 am

•Title: Aeternum Vale - Chapter Two

•Author: FlyingPoppy

•Feedback: Here or by pm is fine.

•Distribution: No, thanks. It's just for Pens.

•Rating: R

•Pairing: W/T

•Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Willow and Tara, they belong to ME/UPN/whoever. All other characters belong to me. I'm just writing a story to keep myself out of mischief, I'm not making any money from it.

•Summary: This story is totally AU and will be long. Two girls meet and fall in love, but all is not what it seems.

•Notes:

- The hellmouth does not exist in this story but evil certainly does. A happy ending for W/T is certain, it's going to be a bumpy ride, though. Turn back now if your vehicle doesn't equip the suspension to deal...

- Thoughts in

- Many thanks to Kita for her beta work

Chapter Two - Amicus Certus In Re Incerta Cernitur

"...and then she jumped up and licked Nat's face, which did not go down well, believe me!" Molly finished.

"I still don't know how you convinced her to let you get a puppy," Willow sighed, "she never seems to do anything but shout at her."

Tara smiled internally at the friend's banter. It was obvious to her that they had known each other for a number of years and she guessed that they had probably been through some tough times together.

"Well, she's with me at the nursery most of the time," Molly told Willow.

"She doesn't like her, does she?" Willow questioned, wanting a firm answer.

"She's growing on her, Willow. Natalie even volunteered to walk her last night. She's really not as hard as she likes to make out, it's all for show." Molly explained the situation, but Willow was still skeptical. Tara decided to try for a subject change, not wanting to be present if they were going to have an argument.

"So, how do you two know each other?" she questioned innocently.

Willow and Molly exchanged a look that Tara couldn't decipher. Willow then looked down at the table as her friend spoke.

"Will looks after the web site for me...well, she designed it all and did all the programming...everything actually. You should take a look sometime, it's very impressive," Molly stated proudly, causing Willow to blush.

Something suddenly dawned on Tara, the realization evident on her features, "Will...the web person. Oh, I'm so stupid sometimes...I didn't put two and two together. Actually I did, but I got 'man' instead of four..."

Molly had talked about 'Will' needing some stock information to update the web site, but Tara had assumed it was a man. Molly hadn't really spoken at much length about the computerized side of the business and Tara hadn't asked.

"You don't seem stupid to me," Willow said seriously. Now it was Tara's turn to blush, she looked over and caught Willow's gaze. Molly simply sat opposite them, taking note of the little looks they kept throwing each other.

"How do you like working for such a tyrant, Tara?" Willow asked, grinning at Molly, once she had recovered from being caught gazing.

"Molly's no tyrant!" Tara laughed out loud. "You should hear about Erebus, now there's a t-t-tyrant." Tara sounded a little strange and turned silent after she had finished speaking, looking deeply into her half empty coffee cup.

Willow looked confused, but instead of speaking, she merely put the thought away in the back of her mind, for a time when she could really think about what was pulling at her memory.

"We haven't seen you down at the nursery for some time, has everything been ok?" Molly had been worried about Willow as she hadn't heard from her since she'd been over to fix her computer.

"I've been busy." Willow was quite blunt in her response.

she admitted to herself.

"Willow, you should come down more often. Get yourself out a bit more again, we could always do with some extra help, especially at weekends when the shop is busy," Molly suggested. She knew it wasn't true, but wanted to try to provide her with a way to feel useful.

After that, Willow's whole demeanor changed. Molly had broached this subject before and received the same response from her each time. She drew herself into a smaller space and became very quiet. It stunned Tara that the woman who, up until now, had been so open and seemed so outgoing, was now little more than an empty shell. All the light was gone from those amazing green eyes.

"A-are you ok, Willow?" Tara asked, concerned by the instant transformation.

Willow moved her plate to one side and sighed. "I guess...I'm just not hungry anymore..." Her eyes were full of pain and fear.

"Willow, don't...please...." Molly implored. Willow simply ignored her and directed her next words to Tara.

"I should be going, I have some things I need to do." She pushed her chair from the table and stood to leave. Her eyes met with Tara's as she moved away. "It was nice to meet you, Tara. Maybe I'll see you around."

"I hope so," Tara said with a sad look in her eyes, trying to think of a way to soothe Willow's obviously fragile soul. "Maybe we could go for coffee one day after I finish work?"

"I don't know." Willow replied hastily, then practically fled the scene.

"Ok, what happened there? Because I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything rude." Tara was baffled by the events that had just transpired.

"That's just Willow," Molly started, "you can never really be sure how she's going to be, but it's ok, it's just her way of coping."

Tara didn't like the sound of this. What exactly did Willow have to 'cope' with and why wouldn't she even let her best friend in to help? She made up her mind there and then that she was going to get to the bottom of this, to get Willow to let her friend help. Tara thought.

~~~~~~~~~~

Willow slammed the door behind her and flung herself on the couch, taking huge gasps of air. She chastised herself. Her breathing slowed gradually, then she pulled up a cushion and curled up, sobs beginning to wrack her body. Feeling like her soul was being stripped away from her, Willow took the only course she knew might help.

She tentatively stood and took a couple of steps over to a chest of drawers, opened the top one and took out a few items. She headed up to her spare bedroom, the deep blue of the walls a stark contrast to the bright light of the sun's rays, beating a path through the window to rest upon the cream floor. Willow drew the curtains, cutting out the light of day, and switched on a pair of lamps that were strategically placed on a low shelf. There were a couple of bean bags strewn on the floor, apart from them, the shelf and a small chest, the room was bare. She walked to the chest, lay out a dark cloth on top and put the items down, then gathered various other things from the shelf. As she made her preparations, she kept grasping the necklace that was around her neck, fingering it slightly, as if she were Aladdin wishing to release his genie. She knew there would be no genie though, no easy solutions.

Once everything necessary was in place, Willow sat and grounded herself, slowly entering a trance. Soft words started to escape her lips as she sat there:

"I form this spell of stone and earth,

May it protect through fear and mirth.

I cast this spell and let it flow,

Take shape and mold both high and low.

I craft a shield of earth and flame,

May no one pass to harm or maim."

Once she was finished, Willow gathered up all of her things and put them back where they belonged. Feeling drained, she climbed back up the stairs and went to bed. It was just 2.25pm.

~~~~~~~~~~

Things were slow at the nursery all afternoon. A couple of regulars had been in to pick up large orders, so Molly wasn't too worried about the lack of customers.

"How about we shut up shop early today, kiddo?" Molly inquired of Tara, a huge grin on her face at the prospect of an early finish.

"I don't mind staying and closing up if there's something you need to be doing," Tara replied. "I quite like working in the greenhouses." Her answer was a sincere one, not an attempt to suck up to her boss. She knew that wasn't needed, though there was no way she could ever be that kind of person anyway.

"No, that's ok, sweetheart. I have an ulterior motive...true, I do want to get home early and surprise Nat. I just thought...maybe you could go and check on Willow on your way home? You seemed to hit it off and I know she's not feeling like talking to me right now. Your motel's not far from her."

The grin dropped from Molly's face as she thought about Willow. Going on past experience, if she didn't ask Tara to check in on her no one would hear from her for days, maybe even a couple of weeks.

Tara's face lit up. She'd been thinking of ways to broach the subject of asking Molly for Willow's address without appearing too brazen. The way Willow had left the cafe at lunch time had really upset her. She'd spent a lot of the afternoon wondering whether there was something she could have said or done to prevent the hasty exit of the obviously distressed woman.

"Sure, will she be up to talking to me though?" Tara asked, she tried to play it cool, though it soon became apparent that Molly had her sussed as far as Willow was concerned.

"Come on Tara, didn't you see the way she was looking at you in here earlier? You kind of had the same look on your face. I may be a bit older than you two, but I'm not blind."

Tara blushed and dropped her head, thinking back to earlier and her first meeting with Willow.

"Ok, I'll give it a try," Tara acquiesced.

"I just have to go fetch Grace, then I'll lock up. You get going." Molly didn't wait for a reply, instead leaving to head for the large covered run she'd had built for her pup out by the greenhouses. Grace was glad to see her, even though she had been in sight nearly all day it wasn't the same as one on one playtime. She rolled on her back and bared her teeth in play, inviting Molly to scratch her tummy.

"Come on fluff ball, let's get you home. I hope you've worn yourself out today playing with all those toys, I have plans for tonight."

Molly picked up a couple of Grace's favorite toys and let the dog out of the run. Grace lolloped in front of her and jumped up into the back of the truck, waiting for her Mistress to take her home.

~~~~~~~~~

As Tara walked down the unfamiliar streets of her new home, she felt a sudden sense of foreboding, just when things had been beginning to seem a bit brighter to her.

After she crossed Western Boulevard the roads narrowed and, after what seemed like hours, she finally found the street she was looking for. She checked the numbers on the first couple of houses she came to and figured Willow's home must be about halfway down, on the other side of the road.

It was only then that she started to worry about what she would actually say once she got there. 'Hi Willow, Molly sent me to check up on you' just wasn't going to cut it.

She slowly found herself lifting her hand and rapping gently on the door in front of her. There was no answer, so she tried again, more insistently this time.

"Willow? Are you in there? It's Tara." She was sure she could hear noises coming from within the house, so she peered through the window to check if she could see anything. The place was a mess but Tara sensed there had been no foul play. She moved round to the back of the house and found that the back door was unlocked. Not wanting to be too forward, she just opened the door a crack and shouted again, "Willow? It's Tara, are you there?"

The door opposite Tara creaked open and a very frail looking Willow entered the tiny kitchen, wearing a robe.

"You'd better come in. I guess Molly sent you," she sighed, very matter of fact.

Tara blushed at the statement and tried to explain as she entered the house. "Well yes and no, I wanted to know where you lived anyway. Not that I was going to start stalking you or anything...." Tara attempted a smile, but it wasn't coming easily and she had to try hard to force it.

Willow closed and locked the door behind Tara, then walked into another room and motioned for the other woman to follow her. Tara began to feel embarrassed about her motives as she followed Willow into the very small living room. There was basically space for a small couch, a TV in one corner and a chest of drawers along the wall adjacent to the old couch. Stairs rose from the floor in the opposite corner to the TV, near the front door. Tara gave a sad smile when she finally caught Willow's eye, then sat down.

"I was just taking a nap."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I can go if you want..."

Willow seemed to consider the offer for a moment before shaking her head almost imperceptibly and speaking. "Can I get you a drink or something?" she finally questioned.

"Oh, I'm fine, thank you." Tara was getting more uncomfortable by the second. She had to speak up. "Um...Willow, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but are you in trouble?"

As Willow finally sat down next to her, Tara could feel the waves of sadness coming from the redhead, who seemed to become physically smaller by the second.

"I know what you've done." Tara stated plainly.

Willow looked quizzically at her, not quite understanding. She hadn't done anything, at least not that she knew of.

Tara saw this and continued. "The spell I mean, I can feel you've recently cast a spell." She looked at Willow's necklace and frowned. Something dawned on her...

"A protection spell? Why would..."

There was silence for a moment and Willow simply looked down at the floor, tears forming in those stunning green eyes. It broke Tara's heart.

"I'm sorry, it's none of my b-business, it's ok if you don't want to talk about it. I should let you g-get some more rest." Tara stood to leave, almost wishing she had never come here in the first place but knowing at the same time that nothing could have kept her away. She was stopped in her tracks by the most pitiful sound she had ever heard.

"Please..." Willow almost whimpered. "I don't know what to do."

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.

Aine · **Posted:** Tue Mar 30, 2004 7:35 am

awe terirffiic update. i wonder what's wrong with willow. i hope you update soon so i don't have to wait tooooo long. well beautiful story.

stace

onyxsundrops · **Posted:** Tue Mar 30, 2004 7:46 am

I wonder who or what Willow is hiding from. Great update.

Hopefully, Tara will be able to help her.

Yvonne :peace

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:26 am

Ya know Poppy, I love your writing more and more with every update, but I state plainly right now you are a cliffhanger meanie. (yes, such a fantastic collusion of the English language there, but i was going for the child-like stomping of my foot at being left hanging right there. As to specific notices...

Quote:
"Molly's no tyrant!" Tara laughed out loud. "You should hear about Erebus, now there's a t-t-tyrant." Tara sounded a little strange and turned silent after she had finished speaking, looking deeply into her half empty coffee cup.

(emphasis added)

vs.

Quote:
After that, Willow's whole demeanor changed. Molly had broached this subject before and received the same response from her each time. She drew herself into a smaller space and became very quiet. It stunned Tara that the woman who, up until now, had been so open and seemed so outgoing, was now little more than an empty shell. All the light was gone from those amazing green eyes.

A few things stuck out to me with these two passages. You are telling me that both women have these places that they draw themselves up into for some reason.

It is something new for me to read a Willow who draws up and closes of completely though. Usually it is Tara who we see go all quiet and wanting to run away. Still the parallel that both of them are running is something.

I get this feeling that as soon as we find out what Will is running from, and she starts to try to work through it, whatever is chasing Tara is going to show up and blow it all to hell again. You weren't kidding about that bumpy road, eh?

As to technical aspects- Your writing continues to be vibrant and best of all real. These are plausible situations, it isn't contrived that Tara be sent to check on Will when it seems they are being almost set up. Though, I doubt that is what Molly had in mind, it still didn't seem out of the blue like so many of their fictional meetings have.

Oh well, until next Tuesday then!

a.s.h.

sam darls · **Posted:** Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:18 pm

Aww..I loved that..soo lovely sweetie. I can't wait for more

Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:04 am

Ok, its Tuesday, here I am waiting for my update... And all you kittens, if you are reading this reccomend it to a friend! Its great, and you know it...

So what if I am shamelessly plugging for my co-beta, she deserves it!

Ok, gonna run off and hide in the corner til Poppy posts....

a.s.h.

FlyingPoppy · **Posted:** Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:28 am

Aine - Thank you

What's wrong with Willow is coming right up, updates for the foreseeable future will be once a week.

onyxsundrops - I think it's a pretty safe bet that Tara is going to try to help Willow, how successful she'll be, only time will tell

astrangerhere - I have taken on the official moniker of 'cliffhanger meanie'! From now on I shall try to make my cliffhangers become worse and worse...ok, except for this chapter, don't think this qualifies as a cliffhanger, you'll be pleased to know

You'll be hearing more about just why Willow draws up and closes off here, quite why this is happening is going to be longer time coming though.

Would I be so mean as to have Tara's trouble turn up and "blow it all to hell again"? Err..that'd be a yes, I would, but again not telling you when or how!

Thanks for your comments

sam darls - Hope you'll continue to like it, hon. Some tough times are coming up...

So without further ado...

•Title: Aeternum Vale - Chapter Three.

•Author: FlyingPoppy

•Feedback: Here or by pm is fine.

•Distribution: No, thanks. It's just for Pens.

•Rating: R

•Pairing: W/T

•Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Willow and Tara, they belong to ME/UPN/whoever. All other characters belong to me. I'm just writing a story to keep myself out of mischief, I'm not making any money from it.

•Summary: This story is totally AU and will be long. Two girls meet and fall in love, but all is not what it seems.

•Notes:

- The hellmouth does not exist in this story but evil certainly does. A happy ending for W/T is certain, it's going to be a bumpy ride, though. Turn back now if your vehicle doesn't equip the suspension to deal...

- Thoughts in

- Many thanks to Kita for her beta work

Chapter Three - Sol Omnibus Lucet

Tara made tea in Willow's kitchen, then returned to sit by her side. Willow sniffed, used yet another tissue from the box, then took the offered mug; the heat from it felt burning to her cold hands.

"I...I don't really know where to start. You don't even know me, what do you want?" Willow asked, slightly suspicious of Tara's motives.

"Willow, I just want to help. Molly's been so good to me and you're her best friend. It's the least I can do. You know, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. " Tara sighed as she pondered what was going on with this enigmatic woman. Despite her words she wanted to know everything about her, every way that she might possibly be able to help. It hurt to see her like this. Even though they had only just met, Tara felt some sort of affinity with this girl.

"Well I guess you know that I practice.....how did you know?" Willow wasn't going to make this easy, she wanted some answers herself and wasn't going to give Tara an easy ride.

"I think we have our religion in common, Willow." Tara looked straight into Willow's eyes. "I could feel that you had just done a spell. I remembered the things you asked for from Molly this morning, when I saw your necklace I could just tell what it was you had done. Magick leaves its mark on all things."

Willow nodded her agreement. "I can't feel things like that, I've only been practicing for about five years. I can't even get a simple protection spell to work properly. It still keeps happening, I don't know how to stop it." Her eyes glistened with tears once again. Tara saw this and interrupted before Willow could break down completely.

"Tell me the spell you used. My Mother's been teaching me since I was little, I may be able to make it a bit more effective." Tara paused, not wanting to push Willow for too much information but at the same time realizing she needed to know more in order to help. "I really need to know exactly what's been happening as well, maybe a different spell would be better."

Willow narrowed her eyes at Tara, wondering how she could know if she were telling the truth. She was about to ask when she saw something in the other woman's eyes, something that let her know it would be ok, that she would be ok. A complete sense of calm washed over her very being and before she knew it, Willow was talking.

"I don't remember the first time it happened, it was at least ten years ago though. The first time I remember clearly, I was sitting in the yard reading. It felt like the whole world was closing in on me, everything became heavy. It felt like the atmosphere was pushing down on me, forcing me to the ground. I tried to call out, I really did...." Willow choked back a sob, her voice started to shake as she continued, "...Mom and Dad were away, so I was home alone. I didn't know where I was when I woke up. I always used to wake up in strange places, places I'd never been to before, usually hours later. Mom took me to so many doctors, none of them could find anything wrong with me. I can feel it coming now, before it happens. I feel it buzz through me then I start to pass out."

Tara looked at Willow, sadness evident in her eyes. She sat quietly by her side and hoped that her presence would offer some level of comfort, maybe even help Willow say what remained to be said.

"When I wake...I feel so tired...can hardly even move sometimes. Everything feels empty and dark. Earlier, at the cafe, I thought it was going to happen. I felt something. Sometimes if I hurry I can get home and tie myself up. I don't want to hurt anyone, Tara, they said I could hurt people..."

"You chain yourself up?" Tara was aghast that Willow had had to take such measures. "Who told you this? Willow, I don't think you could..." Instead of getting into this now, Tara remembered she had to find a way to help, this wasn't the time to question Willow's actions.

"Can I see the spell?" Tara continued on her original track. Willow recited the spell to her and told Tara the ingredients she'd used. As they spoke, Willow gradually calmed down. Tara wanted to reinforce this, so she gently took Willow's hand in hers and softly stroked it as she talked. In the process, Tara felt her own fears falling away, leaving her feeling refreshed and at ease.

"I think I have a plan." Tara said after Willow finished telling her exactly what she'd done. "That sort of spell is more to fend off physical attacks. I think someone's attacking you psychically, no I'm sure. I think I know a more suitable spell, we need to make you a mirror shield. Whoever's doing this....it'll bounce back on them. Maybe we'll be able to tell who it's been coming from. There is a 'but'." Tara paused.

Willow looked at her expectantly.

"We have to wait for the New Moon for it to be strong and then we have to do the spell for 14 nights in a row." Tara stopped and looked down at Willow's hand in hers. Willow followed her gaze and quickly pulled her hand away, almost not realizing what she had been doing.

"It's ok Tara, you can just leave me instructions, you don't owe me anything."

"But I want to give something. Willow, I want to try to help you."

Willow looked with disbelief into those deep pools of blue that she found herself becoming strangely attached to and weakened.

"O-kay." She drew out the word.

"May I..." Tara started and then changed tack. "I can read auras, may I look at yours? We're pretty sure something's attacking you, I might be able to figure out what it's doing."

Willow's eyes hadn't left Tara's since they made contact. She just knew Tara was telling the truth. She was also getting desperate, so something made her take the plunge.

"Ok, what do I do?"

Tara let out a slow smile. "You don't have to do anything sweetie, don't worry, I'm only looking."

Willow felt a blush creep over her face.

"Oh Willow!" Willow was snapped from her train of thought by Tara's sad exclamation. Tara felt her eyes well and knew that she couldn't hold it in, she still tried though, not wanting to scare Willow anymore than she already had done.

Willow inhaled sharply then saw tears begin to fall from Tara's eyes. "Ten years..." Tara whispered, "you should be dead..."

She didn't know quite what to do, so Willow merely reached up and brushed away a tear, then pulled Tara into a loose hug. She felt a little uncomfortable hugging someone she'd only recently met, despite her attraction, but it was what her body was telling her she needed to do. Tara dropped her head down onto Willow's shoulder and let out a deep sigh, then pulled back a little, sensing Willow's slight apprehension.

"We should start the spell tonight," Tara stated as her tears dried up.

"But you said..."

"It won't be as strong, but we need to do something." Tara continued, "If we leave it until Friday and it happens again in the meantime...I just...don't know how much more you can take. If we do it together, we can make it stronger."

"I trust you Tara. I can't explain it, but I do, I don't usually do this...trust people that is. What do we need?"

Tara smiled at Willow's apparent nervousness. "We should meditate together first, it will help attune us to one another's feelings and let us cast a stronger shield. What crystals do you have?" Tara asked as she took a small pouch out from her bag and began rummaging through it.

"Just a minute." Willow stood to retrieve a small box from the back of her drawer. She presented the box to Tara, who took it and opened it.

"Ok good. Take out the clear quartz and the yellow calcite." She said, without touching any of the stones.

Willow did as she was asked and felt the familiar tingling of the crystals in her hand.

"Are we likely to be interrupted down here?" Tara asked her.

"I usually go up to my spare room." Willow answered. "It's quieter up there."

"Lead the way then." Tara smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. She was surprised, and happy, to see the beginnings of a smile playing at the edge of Willow's mouth before she turned and started up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~

As Molly pulled up in her driveway, she could see Natalie sitting on the porch, reading a book. The sight caused her to take a deep breath, still struck by her beauty every time she saw her.

"Time off for good behavior?" Natalie questioned, raising an eyebrow as Molly climbed out of the truck and headed toward her.

"You know me, sweetheart," Molly winked, "any excuse to come home early and see you."

"Ooh, you old charmer you. I know your game." Natalie did indeed know exactly what Molly was up to, but she wasn't complaining one bit.

Molly feigned an innocent look and brought her hand up to her chest, then adopted her her best Southern Belle accent. "Why Miss Levoy, I have no idea what you mean!" She batted her eyelids for added effect.

Natalie stood, smiling, from her seat and closed the distance between her and her lover. The broad smile that was on her face fading as she got closer. "I'm sorry about this morning honey. I know she is starting to get better. I just don't want her causing arguments between us. I love you, you know?"

As if on cue, Grace sauntered up to Molly, having fully investigated the area where a small cat had run across the lawn, and sat obediently by her side.

"Damn, I swear it's like she knows what you're saying sometimes." Molly said, still astonished by the pup's almost human qualities.

"Well it's a pity she doesn't listen to me when I'm telling her to stop chewing the furniture." Nat glared at the pup as she spoke. Grace, sensing something was wrong, slunk up the porch steps and lay by the door, waiting to be let in.

"So, any plans, sweetness?" Natalie asked, trying to lighten the mood once again.

"Well it seems like a waste to come home early and not have plans." Molly replied, a glint in her eye, then opened the door for Grace to go inside. As she closed the door behind them, Nat grabbed Molly's waist, causing her to shriek in surprise.

"Race you upstairs."

"You're on." Molly replied, pushed her out of the way and started on the first flight of stairs. As they came to the first floor landing, Nat reached out and grabbed Molly's shirt, pulling it half undone. Molly stumbled and Nat seized the advantage, with Grace bounding up behind them.

"Hey, that's dirty tricks." Molly gasped, trying to get in front once more. As they approached the top floor and their bedroom door, Natalie had increased her lead, Molly having been hindered by a certain puppy getting under her heels.

"Aw damn! Grace!"

Natalie half opened the bedroom door and turned around, flashing a smile.

"So.....what do I get for winning?" She questioned, then pulled Molly into the room behind her.

Molly just leered at her and shut the door sharply. Grace's nose almost got caught in it as she tried to gain entrance. After scratching at it for a few minutes, she sat down by the door, tipped her head sideways and looked up quizzically at the strange banging noise coming from just the other side.

~~~~~~~~~~

After they had completed the spell, Willow felt strangely energized. She was getting to feeling very comfortable around the blonde woman.

"Tara, I...thank you. I've never let anyone in like that before, I don't know why I..."

"It's ok, Willow. You should have at least some protection now."

Willow took the necklace in her hand. "It feels so warm," she commented.

"It's strongly charged, Willow. You're powerful...could be, I mean." Tara corrected herself.

"I don't know about that, I don't even want to be by myself tonight...Would you come over to Molly's with me? Maybe we could stop for food on the way?" Willow asked hopefully. The pull she was feeling toward Tara was just getting stronger the more time she spent in her company. She was regretting the somewhat frosty reception she'd given her earlier that afternoon.

"I'd love to." Tara smiled, "Stop for food I mean. I'm not so sure Molly's is a good idea..."

"Oh God is something wrong? That's why you came instead of her isn't it? Why didn't you tell me before...."

"Nothing's wrong. Molly just had plans for tonight." Tara explained with a knowing smile.

Willow blushed her whole face over. "I guess that throws that plan out of the window then."

"Well how about we go for dinner, then see how you feel?" Tara suggested. "Maybe you'll be feeling a bit braver later."

Willow looked worried, she knew that when she started to feel this way it would last, a little bit of food was not going to make it go away. She didn't want to hurt Tara's feelings though, she was at least trying to help. She pushed her feelings of worry to the back of her mind, for some reason she didn't want to part company with the captivating woman before her anytime soon.

"Ok, I know a reasonable place just round the corner, we can walk if you like, it's not cold out."

"It's my treat Willow, we can go wherever you want. I haven't exactly been out much since I moved here so I have a little money saved up."

"Oh no, I couldn't spend your money. Just because I...."

"It's ok, really. I'd like to take you out." Tara's voice turned into a squeak as she realised what she was saying but was unable to stop the words from coming out. "I don't have any friends here, it will be nice to do something other than sit in that dreadful Motel 6 for another evening." Tara continued.

Willow noticed her unease and smiled internally. Was it possible that this beautiful woman actually wanted to go on a date with her, even after everything she'd just found out?

"Well ok, if you insist. It'll be fun. I don't really know anywhere nice though. I'm not exactly rich, as you may have noticed by the surroundings." Willow gestured around the room, trying to play it cool.

"How about we just pick somewhere out of the paper....you have a paper don't you?" Tara asked, uncertain.

Willow bent down over the arm of the couch and produced a slightly crumpled newspaper. "For you, M'lady." She said with a sweeping bow. Willow smirked to herself

Tara joined in the act. "Why thank you kind Sir." She curtsied, taking the paper. Rifling through the pages, she found the section she was looking for.

"So, any requests?" She didn't want to just choose a restaurant without even knowing if Willow would like the food.

"Chinese?" Willow ventured.

"Sounds good to me...oh, ok here we go...where's Grayson Plaza?"

"Um.." Willow started. "It's right across town."

"Well that's not a problem. It would probably be a good idea to get changed before we go anyway. I'll leave you some money for a cab, you can go there once you're ready, in the meantime, I'll go back to the motel to change and meet you there."

Willow looked a little stunned.

"Will that be ok? Do you feel ok to be here on your own just while you get changed?" Then Tara tried to take back her plan "We could just go to the place round the corner if you'd rather?"

"No, I'd like to go, I just feel nervous. I....what if something happens? While you're not here? Then you'd get to the restaurant, I wouldn't be there and you'd wonder where I was and everything..."

"I'd come straight back here." Tara looked into her eye, totally serious now. "I wouldn't put you in danger Willow." she said and took Willow's hand.

"I'm just being a dork. I'll be fine." Willow said, in a desperate attempt to believe her own words. "You don't have to leave me money for a cab though."

"My. Treat." Tara reminded her. "May I use your phone to make a reservation?"

"Of course."

"It'll only be about a half hour until I get there." Tara tried to soothe the obviously worried woman. "Are you sure you'll be ok?"

Willow nodded her response, then Tara made the booking and left, promising to be as quick as she could. Willow then ran upstairs to get changed, foregoing a shower in favour of getting out of the house as quickly as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~

Natalie lay in the bed, a deep red satin sheet pulled halfway across her legs. Molly had one leg draped over her, an arm protectively round her waist and her head tucked into Natalie's right shoulder.

"Mmm, good idea of yours to come home early, sweetheart." Natalie murmured contentedly.

"See I'm good for some things..." Molly joked, stroking Natalie's side as she spoke.

"Ooh I like when you do that, but I'm wiped out."

"Must be getting old." Molly joked and braced herself for the attack she knew was coming.

"I'll show you old, Missy." Nat almost cackled as she grabbed Molly's arms and flipped her over, quite a task considering their differing sizes, but Natalie wasn't about to let her cheeky girlfriend get away with what she'd said. "Besides, I'm only 5 years older than you, you'll be thirty soon too."

"That may be true, by then you'll be approaching forty though..."

Molly struggled to free her hands, but Nat had a firm grasp on them and Molly kind of liked how it felt, this having been her plan all along anyway. She knew her lover would never let her get away with the jab at her age.

"Mmm, who's getting all butch now?" Molly questioned.

"Well seeing as how people always assume you are because you're bigger than me, I thought I should redress the balance." Natalie replied, obviously pleased with herself.

"You'd better get redressing then." Molly grinned as she leant her head back and prepared herself for a long evening.

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
Edited by: FlyingPoppy at: 5/11/04 9:59 pm

mollyig · **Posted:** Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:34 am

An interesting setup here. Willow obviously is trying to deal with a huge amount of pain, and hasn't up to now sought help. The very fact of her admitting to Tara that she doesn't know what to do shows that there is already trust there.

I'm now officially hooked!

Edited to add:

Hee, you must have posted just a few seconds before me. At least I didn't have to wait too long for another update

Good that Tara was so insistent, albeit in her own quiet way, about helping Willow. Both girls are setting aside their reservations, and just accepting the fact that they share a bond.

"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

Edited by: mollyig at: 4/6/04 6:47 am

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Thu Apr 08, 2004 7:21 am

Poppy-

Lovely as always... As to the moniker of "cliffhanger meanie" there was definitely one hiding in here, even if it wasn't in the end. You stuck in that bit about someone trying to assault Will with magic without even the slightest hint as to who it may be. That, my dear, was a cliffhanger, subtle and stuck in the middle as though it was.

Before I forget, something memorable jumped out at me, and I wanted to comment on it.

Quote:
"You chain yourself up?" Tara was aghast that Willow had had to take such measures. "Who told you this? Willow, I don't think you could..." Instead of getting into this now, Tara remembered she had to find a way to help, this wasn't the time to question Willow's actions.

This seemed to ring to me of all the different ways people have talked about how Tara was treated because of her family demon myth. Many people have written Tara from this place of having been locked up or chained down to keep her from hurting someone (snort, like she could ever). But it was very new to me to read Will in this position. There was such a poignant sadness in it. It made sense to lock Oz up, even to a degree it was logical to lock Tara up if she were actually a demon, but this was just brand new.

That's what keeps getting me in this fic. You are playing with the norms, what I am used to thinking, and I love it! There are so many unexplored aspects of each of these women's personalities that have been left to waste in oblivion. It is wonderful to see you drawing on some of the much less used ones.

As to that, you are also toying with my expectations. Tara is not stuttering, she is not really all that shy. Willow is looking for all the world like the Tara most recognize. I can't wait to see what happens and if the roles flip again when Tara's wrench (whatever it may be) gets thrown into the works. Blowing it all to hell is right.

I loved this contrast as well...

Quote:
Willow felt a blush creep over her face.

"Oh Willow!" Willow was snapped from her train of thought by Tara's sad exclamation. Tara felt her eyes well and knew that she couldn't hold it in, she still tried though, not wanting to scare Willow anymore than she already had done.

Will is in her own little word getting excited about people liking her and Tara's heart is breaking over her. It may at first blush seem melodramatic, but it really isn't. By way of example--when a person is ill and has been for a long time, many days they don't even process it anymore. This is what Will is like. She is so accustomed to being attacked, that she can consciously be excited about a girl liking her. Whereas Tara, who is unaware of the illness, sees it for the first time and is floored. Bearing in mind that Will is not at all sick, but the principle is the same.

Alright, I apologize for harassing you for an update and then not replying for a few days, but I have taken up quite enough boardspace for now. Thanks for writing!

a.s.h.

sam darls · **Posted:** Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:37 pm

Hon, I loved this update..so lovely..I hope you're okay

Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

FlyingPoppy · **Posted:** Mon Apr 12, 2004 6:42 am

Some replies, then an update a day early, for my number one fan...

mollyig - Hee! I have someone officially hooked!

I think both of them are going to be pretty insistent about helping each other. A lot of help is going to be needed...a lot.

astrangerhere - The cliffhanger meanie is about to strike again. You have been warned! Not so subtle and not stuck in the middle this time.

Quote:
By way of example--when a person is ill and has been for a long time, many days they don't even process it anymore. This is what Will is like. She is so accustomed to being attacked, that she can consciously be excited about a girl liking her. Whereas Tara, who is unaware of the illness, sees it for the first time and is floored.

Exactly! People always have different perceptions about things, one of the things that makes life so much fun...err, ok, maybe not fun how about we go with 'interesting'?

sam darls - Thanks. This is where things start to get a little more complicated. Kind of like my answer to whether I'm ok would be...

This one's a bit short, though I think you'll understand why I ended it where I did.

•Title: Aeternum Vale - Chapter Four

•Author: FlyingPoppy

•Feedback: Here or by pm is fine.

•Distribution: No, thanks. It's just for Pens.

•Rating: R

•Pairing: W/T

•Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Willow and Tara, they belong to ME/UPN/whoever. All other characters belong to me. I'm just writing a story to keep myself out of mischief, I'm not making any money from it.

•Summary: This story is totally AU and will be long. Two girls meet and fall in love, but all is not what it seems.

•Notes:

- The hellmouth does not exist in this story but evil certainly does. A happy ending for W/T is certain, it's going to be a bumpy ride, though. Turn back now if your vehicle doesn't equip the suspension to deal...

- Thoughts in

- Many thanks to Kita for her beta work

Chapter Four - In Posterum

As Tara's cab pulled up outside the restaurant she could see Willow sitting at a table by the window, deep in thought. After thanking the driver and handing over the fare, she left the cab and entered the restaurant, smiling brightly as she caught Willow's eye.

"Hey you, that was quick." Willow returned the smile, pleased to see the blonde once again.

Tara pulled out the seat opposite Willow and sat down. " I was as fast as possible, I didn't want to leave you waiting...with you feeling so..."

"Wiggy?" the redhead finished for her.

"Well I wasn't going to use that particular word, but I guess it's a fair description."

"Look Tara, I know how I get sometimes. I'm not easy to be around. There's no reason for you to feel any kind of..."

Willow was interrupted by the arrival of a waitress with some menus. Both girls ordered a beer and conversation changed to discussion of what to eat.

"This all sounds so good," Tara enthused, "it's going to take me forever to decide!" She was pleased to see Willow smiling back at her, it looked like she had relaxed a little.

"It does all sound nice. I think Molly's been a few times, I never really had anyone to come here with though."

"Didn't you ever want to come with Molly?" Tara inquired, puzzled as to why Willow's best friend had never asked her to accompany her.

"I didn't...I mean, I've never really been out to eat anywhere. I couldn't..." she looked down at the table to hide her eyes from Tara.

"I'm sorry, Willow, you don't have to explain." Tara gazed out of the window to divert her attention from Willow, who finally looked back up when she sensed the other woman was no longer studying her.

"It's ok. It's just...I don't really go out, in case anything happens. I don't like to spoil my friends free time. Friend...I only have one..."

"Aren't we becoming friends, Willow?" Tara returned her attention to Willow's face and saw her stiffen slightly. "I think we could be friends."

"I'd like that." Willow gave a small, sad smile.

"You think that if something happened now, if you had an episode, it would be a waste of my time? And do you really think that's how Molly would feel?" Tara paused for a moment, "I really don't mean to criticize you, Willow, but that's not how real friends react."

"You don't think Molly's my friend??" Willow was incredulous.

"No...I mean that that's not how she feels. I'm sure she'd like to take you out places."

"Are you ready to order?" Willow changed the subject, none too smoothly.

Tara cast a cursory glance over the menu and nodded her head, "You?"

Willow also nodded, so Tara turned her head round and signaled their waitress, who took their order then swiftly returned with their drinks. Willow sipped at her drink and let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I get touchy about it, as you probably noticed." A more genuine smile escaped Willow's lips.

"Don't worry, it's ok. I shouldn't be so..."

"Nice?"

"How about we go with 'interfering'?" Tara raised her eyebrow in question, the half smile on her face letting Willow know she was joking.

"So, do you have any brothers or sisters? What do your parents do? Where are you originally from?" Willow smiled to herself, "I don't usually ask so many questions, well not so close together, they just kind of led on to one another."

"That's ok. You don't want to hear about all that, anyway. It's kind of a long story....and boring, I might add."

"No, I do...want to hear that is. I want to know things about you Tara, I..." Willow felt the beginnings of a flush in her face and it wasn't from the beer. "Like you said, I would like to consider you my friend....and friends tell each other all about their crappy upbringings," she finished with a smug smile.

"Ok, you go first then. Just so I know how boring I can be." Tara felt a little uncomfortable, so deflected the question, "How did you meet Molly?"

Willow mused.

"Um...I had an episode...down on Western Road. She found me on the sidewalk thrashing about. I don't remember it...I remember before, walking down the street and feeling it coming. Then I woke up in a strange bed and Molly was there. I was 19, I didn't have anywhere to live, well I was staying at this old warehouse by the docks. Molly wouldn't let me leave her house, I just wanted to run and hide...but she took care of me. She won't tell me why. She told me she just felt a compulsion to walk that way to work that morning. If she hadn't I'd probably still be living rough somewhere...or dead." All hint of a smile was gone from Tara’s face, as Willow continued, "She insisted that I live with her until I got on my feet. I only moved out about a year ago, a couple of months after she met Nat, I kind of knew she'd be moving in soon and didn't want to get in the way. I think she suspects that there was something more between us, but there never was. She's like my big sister, that would just be...Ew!" Willow shook her head in revulsion.

"I know, you can tell...that there's never been anything other than friendship between you. I don't think that's just from having read you. I felt it before."

The waitress finally returned with their food and the pair engaged in inconsequential chatter while they ate.

"So, how about you?" Willow finally asked as she pushed her plate to one side and picked up her drink.

"Excuse me?"

"Your family, I asked about your family. You did a sneaky side step and deflected the question to me. I'm not as dumb as I look," Willow said smugly.

"Oh I don't think you're dumb," Tara blushed. "I moved here about 2 months ago. I just needed a change of scene. My family may as well live on the other side of the world. I love them all, I really do, it's just hard to make the trip to see them."

"Did something happen?"

"No, I just..." Tara thought for a moment, "I-I needed to branch out, stand on my own two feet. That sort of thing."

"So you picked Ukiah? Great choice." Willow joked. "Not exactly a sprawling metropolis. Most young people want to get out, not move here. Why did you choose here? To come and be a pear picker? I did that one summer when I was in High School, it doesn't exactly keep your brain busy."

Ukiah was an average American small town, located in the Yokayo Valley - a couple of hours North of San Francisco.

"Well, I didn't want a sprawling metropolis. I just wanted a step up. And no, I didn't want to be a pear picker. Where I come from is a very small, close knit community, old fashioned even. I just needed something more, but not so much that it was overwhelming. I was very lucky to get that job at the nursery, it's been great. I kind of need to start looking for somewhere to live though, I didn't want to until I was sure this was the right place though."

Willow looked at her quizzically, "That's a strange way to put it. What do you mean 'the right place'?"

Tara stuttered, "I-I just meant th-th-that I didn't want to get s-set-settled and then find out I h-hated the place," she finally managed to get out, sighing as she finished.

"Are you ok? I didn't meant to upset you. Maybe we could look for somewhere together." Willow smiled, pleased with herself, until she saw the odd look on Tara's face. "Oh no, not together-together, I meant I could help you look," she clarified, blushing profusely.

Tara relaxed a little. The thought of sharing a dwelling with the beguiling redhead made her breath catch in her chest.

"Do you want me to ask for the bill?" Tara questioned.

Willow was sad at the thought of the evening ending, but knew it was getting late.

"Sure. Are you really ok paying, it's not exactly cheap here."

"Absolutely certain. Remember the whole 'my treat' conversation?" Tara said in a sing-song voice.

"Ok, shutting up now," Willow grinned.

Tara paid the bill then held the door open for Willow to step outside.

"Do you mind if we walk back?" Willow ventured. "I just...well, I don't want to be alone just yet."

Tara held out her hand to Willow and nodded her head in reply.

~~~~~~~~~~

About half an hour later, the two women arrived outside Willow's house after a mainly silent walk. The only conversation had occurred when Tara had stopped at a phone booth to call herself a cab.

Tara asked, "Are you going to be ok?"

"I think so. I feel a bit weird still, but not that all consuming loneliness. I...thank you Tara, I've enjoyed myself. For the first time in years."

Tara reached out and pulled her into a gentle hug. "Take care, Willow. I'll see you soon, I have your number." She looked round as she heard a car pull up alongside them.

Willow extricated herself from the hug and waved as Tara climbed into the cab, then turned to enter the house. Things suddenly didn't seem quite so bad.

Tara watched as Willow turned and entered the dark house, only asking the driver to leave once she saw the upstairs light was on, indicating Willow had made it as far as her bedroom.

As the car made it's way through the small town, Tara couldn't help but think about the evening she'd spent with Willow, never had she felt so fulfilled. There was definitely something about her, something that Tara wanted to get to know much better. She wasn't stupid, though, she knew Willow had problems and things weren't going to be easy.

It was obvious from the way Willow had reacted when Tara first came through the door earlier that afternoon that she was probably going to have a tough time of it. The spell wasn't going to be fully effective for about 2 weeks, until then she thought she could expect Willow to continue to have episodes, albeit less frequently and of lesser power.

Whoever was doing this to Willow was obviously skilled and knew exactly what they were doing. Tara was determined to spend as much time as she could with her, keep on eye on all of her contacts to try to determine just who had such hate for her. It had to be someone she'd known for over 10 years, but Tara didn't know if Willow had actually known anyone for that long. She'd just have to get more information out of her, but she'd have to be careful. She didn't want to push her away at all.

~~~~~~~~~~

Willow sighed as she pulled off her boots and skirt, thinking about the evening she had just had.

As she pulled on her nightshirt and climbed into bed, Willow thought of nothing else but Tara's soft, blue eyes. Their deep azure almost glowing in her minds eye, as she drifted off into the most peaceful sleep of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Looking out of the window, Tara suddenly realized where they were and spoke up.

"Anywhere along here is fine, thank you."

The driver slowed and turned to look at her. "Are you sure, honey? It's a bit unsavory down here."

"I'm sure, it's ok. Thank you, anyway."

The driver stopped on the next corner. Tara paid and got out, waiting until the car had driven off into the night before continuing down the street a little way. She got to a run down old building, looked around to make sure no one was watching, then pulled back the corner of a sheet of plywood and squeezed through into the ramshackle old foyer of the Bellion.

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
Edited by: FlyingPoppy at: 4/12/04 6:10 am

sam darls · **Posted:** Mon Apr 12, 2004 7:18 am

That was really great sweetie..I'm glad willow talked

. If you want to talk, you knwo where I am. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Mon Apr 12, 2004 7:33 am

Poppy-

Now see, i feel like this was less of a cliffhanger meanie than the last. Go figure. Anyway, where to start...

Quote:
Tara pulled out the seat opposite Willow and sat down. " I was as fast as possible, I didn't want to leave you waiting...with you feeling so..."

SNIP
Quote:
"Look Tara, I know how I get sometimes. I'm not easy to be around. There's no reason for you to feel any kind of..."

I loved this moment. My mind filled in the gaps with Tara flying back to the hotel, showering and dressing in one blur of movement and running back out the door to get to Willow. There is something so loving about it, but without even realizing it.

At one level it seems like the relationship is already so much more than friendship. I think part of it is that my mind knows what is coming (or at least what it hopes is coming) and reads it in those terms. Another part of me sees this intimacy growing so freely that both of these incredibly private people that I can't help but see it already.

On the other hand, I am just waiting for the moment when Willow realizes just how much Tara hasn't told her. That, i assume is when it will all go to hell, as well as when we see the continuation of the opening scene from chapter 1. Whoa, sorry, ran away into speculationville there for a moment. Just a few more things..

First, my hackles keep prickling at Molly and her motives. I wonder if you are making me suspicious of her as a red-herring. Second, I am starting to think I might have an idea how much different Tara's family background is from the Tara that we know. But I shall keep those to myself for now. Third, I absolutely LOVE Willow in this moment:

Quote:
What would I say though? Tara, you're gorgeous, let's get it on?? I don't think so. Why would she want anything to do with a wreck like me anyway? She's just being friendly because of Molly. At least I get to spend some time with her for the next thirteen days. Oh God, thirteen? That's unlucky, maybe we should agree to do the spell one extra time, for luck or something
.

It was just perfect. All the insecurity, cuteness and hope wrapped up just like that. Fabulous description.

Alright, until i decide there are mistakes *or errors*, I am going to post this and hope I don't have to edit later. Thanks for the treat a day early!

a.s.h.

p.s. told you i was, er, verbose..

mollyig · **Posted:** Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:20 am

Both girls seemed a bit nervous, and reluctant to talk about their pasts, but they still seemed to enjoy each other's company.

So, Tara is staying at the Bellion? Hmm, interesting that Willow felt something when she passed that place.

"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

astrangerhere · **Posted:** Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:26 pm

Poppy-

Ahh! I was re-reading (told you I did) when i realized you called me your number one fan! heee, made me smile alot.

Tickin away the days til its tuesday again!

a.s.h.

and yeah, i reccomended you :clap

you deserved it!

samiamiguess · **Posted:** Thu Apr 15, 2004 10:20 am

I took the recommendation to read this from the aptly named recommendation thread and I'm glad I did as I've become rather intrigued by what you have developed here. It's dark and as a result, quite foreboding but the interaction between Willow and Tara is in contrast and brings a lighter feel that brings hope.

I shall certainly be following so thank you for posting it and to a.s.h. for the recommendation.

Edited by: samiamiguess at: 4/15/04 9:22 am

bijoux2 · **Posted:** Sun Apr 18, 2004 3:25 am

Hey! I like this story. It’s very intriguing with just the right amount of angst for me. I like the whole dark, ominous feel that you’ve managed to convey in this fic, as though you can just sense something lurking in the shadows watching Willow and Tara as they go about the giddy business of falling in love. It’s so odd. A strange mix with the usual Willow meets Tara story line and I like that. Very interesting. I feel so sorry for Willow, though. :cry

I don’t really know what’s going on with her but that only adds to my intrigue. Can’t wait for the next update. Please hurry up and write quickly!!!

bijoux

The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

Aeternum Vale (AU)

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