Everyone - Again crew and friends, welcome aboard the SS Scullyboat. I truly am honored that you allowed me the helm of your imaginations for a bit. Grab a drink from the bar and a complimentary 'Stone Circle' party bag and wave farewell to all the
folks on shore.
Canadian Kitty - thanks for keeping order for me. No tears. We women of the sea have to be stiff upper lippy. Unless there is something really sappy and sweet going on.
Jae -
Quote:
Yay! A new fic from MC! *dances*
Can't tell you how good it feels to have people tell me they are happy I have posted another story. Thank you. The Tara of the Dream world won't be 'met' for a bit because...well...I'm mean. You'll actually meet her in The NOW before meeting her in The Dream. She is a bit different then she was in "Hush" but she is still our Tara.
Pixie gishmock - Of course you can drive, but you must wear the special helmet. *hands Pixie the Beer Helmet with a picture of Willow and Tara on it* MUCH Better!! Pixie, whatever you do, do not hit the purple button.
Quill - Welcome back abord and thank you for once again offering you delightful services. Everyone, I suggest you ask Quill for the FULL TREATMENT. *swoon*
snuggle79 - Welcome aboard. Hope you like it.
mollyig - Techinically speaking Willow is ONE of the chosen ones. Tara and Willow both have equally important roles to play here. Or at least, that's my intent.
Green - Welcome back aboard. Yes, I AM back and I have my wild and wacky ways with me.
daydreams - Thanks and welcome to the ship. Part two is just down wind a bit.
Katharyn - Thereisnolifebutfanfic thereisnolifebutfanfic thereisnolifebutfanfic. (:P)
Hey, did I see you taunting the passengers? It's all that writing of VampWillow - brings out that slightly evil side to ya.
Seriously, your commentary, advise and betaing is absoutely priceless to me. Thank you so much for your help. (sucking up, again. Stopping now)
Owl - Do I WANT to know what's in the trunk marked "X"? Welcome back aboard!!
Autumn
RomanceJunky - You are already doing a wonderous job on the rested and relaxed (MT). And techinically, hon, you are the CO-CAPTAIN not the First Mate. But willing to give all the orders you want, hon. *waggles brows*
Title: The Stone Circle
Part: 2/?
Email address:
mariacomet@hotmail.comFeedback: -Consider it your way of bribing me…the one that has the fate of not only one but two sets of Willow and Tara in my hand. **wicked grin**
Distribution: Just let me know.
Spoilers: All eps that have aired.
Rating: PG -13 . There will be…bad language. Violence. Adult situations. And general naughtiness throughout. I deal with some very dark themes as well as some very light themes.
Disclaimer: All Characters contained here-in are owned by and products of the genius of Joss Whedon and Co. I am only doing this because well...it's fun to play with Willow and Tara. Not making any money.
Writers’ WARNING and notation: Warning!! At least ONE alternate universe exists in this story.
The easiest way to read this is to take ‘The Dream’ and ‘The Now’ as two separate stories. At least, at first.
Both the DREAM and the NOW are part of this section.
The Stone Circle
By
Mariacomet
The Dream (CONT)They crept silently along, pressed against the back wall.
“You sure about this?” asked Willow. “You sure this is it?” Despite her defiant statement earlier, breaking the law was against her nature and she was nervous.
“Yep. Xander, bend.”
He sighed. “If only the right woman would say that to me.” Buffy grinned at him, then carefully pushed him to all fours. “My lady,” he said, addressing Willow and jerking his head to motion to his back. “Your chariot awaits.” Buffy helped her step up, then leaped up herself without assistance and straddled the wall. Both the woman helped up their male friend.
Xander frowned and looked up. “Moon is bright tonight.”
Willow’s green eyes widened. “You’re right. You’re right. She’s gonna see us!”
“Willow, remember that whole magic thing?” Buffy asked patiently.
“Oh… right. Right.” She drew in a deep breath and murmured a shadow spell over them. The line of shadows from the trees nearby extended. Everything was silent. The wall was on the edge of a small cottage on the palace grounds. The large two-story cottage had two acres of land to itself and was used for visiting dignitaries. Or… future wives, as the case may be. Willow gulped audibly.
“I don’t see anything.” The lady mage said.
“Wait, Will… Just wait.” Buffy said. The three had been friends most of their lives. Buffy was part of an ancient line of protectors. Each one was trained both by the council of mages and the council of warriors. The Protectors led the armies, and in times of trouble a Grand Protector would be called. Buffy had been called just before Willow had been born.
Two hundred years ago the Mantle of two was held by Keahilan and her husband. But the mantle was supposed to be used for guidance. It was an odd reality that when the Mantle was occupied, the people seemed to understand better the heart of the law. They listened more closely to their leaders and their faith bore fruit.
But when Keahilan and her family ruled, it was not enough for them to provide guidance. They did not, in truth, wish to be the voice of ancient forces, they wanted to control those forces. Keahilan began to call upon power that the Spirie had long ago left behind. Dark magicks that changed the soul and tainted nature, leaving behind something irrevocably twisted. More disturbing was that quite a few mages had begun to follow her example. She led them in dark rituals in the dead of night calling forth abominations to be her servants. Her thirst for power had been unrelenting. The Orb’s pure blue light had started to fill with blackness. Until one day, the Orb went silent, and nothing Keahilan did could make it speak again.
The Tundants should have known what to do then, but some had grown corrupt. Those that hadn’t, argued bitterly that the Mantlebearers must be removed. It had never been done. The magicks of the Spirie had inspired some suspicious kingdoms and greedy governments surrounding them to try and invade. To try and uncover their secrets, hidden in the ancient hollows of the earth and in the heart of the Spirie themselves. Never before had the danger come from within.
Those loyal to the Orb in the Council of Warrior Mages, Council of Life Mages, the Tundants, The Protectors and the Makers held a secret meeting. Together they called to the Orb to send them a Grand Protector. In times of war, this had always been done and they knew that war was coming. But the Orb remained silent. So they weighed what they knew. The Council of Life Mages and Warrior Mages used their greatest magic, the Tundants consulted the Seven Historical Books, and the Protectors weighed and measured the abilities of each of their own. The Makers assisted the others in building their tests of skill and strength. They fashioned weapons and armour made of ancient metals for whoever would be chosen. In the end the Stone Circle called Buffy. She did not want to lead an army against the Mantle Bearers. It meant civil war. She went to the Orb and asked for a sign. Only then did the Orb speak, but only long enough to appoint the one that would bear the mantle when she was old enough. It shined its light high into the sky. The light from the ancient crystal echoed off a star, and fell to the earth surrounding the sleeping form of one child.
The war raged twenty years. Keahilan’s husband fell in the battle, and Keahilan herself was captured as were most of her followers. The next one hundred and eighty years were filled with a feeling of discontent. The people grew tense and mistrusting. The Stone Circle; The Tundants, the Life Mages, The Warrior Mages, the Protectors and the Makers began to bicker more and more bitterly amongst themselves. Invaders seemed stronger then ever before, and several times reached the gates of the Great Chamber before being beaten back by the Grand Protector and her army.
Recently there had been rumblings that some were considering rebellion. Speaking out openly against the Stone Circle, and the Grand Protector. Buffy often sat and considered the Orb, wondering if she had failed, wondering if the realm she loved would one day fall because she was somehow lacking.
Things were made worse when strange evil beasts had begun massing and were attacking strongholds across the kingdom. The Grand Protector had been running herself ragged trying to confront these miniature assaults as they grew in frequency. It was clear that the beasts were magical in nature, but this magic was ancient and unknown, save by the greatest of the Tundants.
Some believed… Buffy believed, that Keahilan had found a means to free herself and that there were many that were as of yet hidden that she had converted to her way of thinking. If it was true, if the evil sorceress had returned, surely she would make her move soon, sometime before the mantle of two was taken. Buffy knew Giles shared this opinion. Unfortunately they were in the minority. Keahilan had not actually been seen for two hundred years after all. And though Donald Maclay had been found guilty of plotting against the Mantlebearer, there was nothing directly linking him back to the old stories of the banished dark witch. Many believed that the recent slew of attacks by the beasts in question were odd twistings of magicks. Strange freaks of nature. Nothing more, nothing less.
Buffy looked to her nervous friend, usually so exuberant about everything she did, and suddenly felt very old. Willow had a good heart, and a generous spirit, Buffy thought fondly. She would serve the Mantle well. If this other Mantlebearer, this woman that Willow was supposed to marry, were half as noble in spirit, surely nothing – not even Keahilan could defeat them.
She heard Willow catch her breath and immediately looked up.
“Buffy… she’s…” Willow could find no word that was powerful enough to describe how she felt.
The lady was bathed in moonlight and Willow Rosenberg, Warrior Mage and Mantlebearer, who knew every secret of magic that the Spirie possessed, could only stare in awe. She leaned forward slightly, her breathing trickling in and out of her. Her chest so filled with the pounding of her heart, that there was scarce room even for breath there. Her future wife, the woman that the Orb had chosen for her, was like something ethereal. Even in the semi-light, pale blue eyes like the sky at early sunrise, was set off against alabaster skin. She had a long graceful neck, leading down to softly rounded shoulders. Green eyes tried not to linger on any feature of the lady for too long, but she could not help her eyes from tracing the full curves at least once. Willow found herself unconsciously licking suddenly dry lips. She lifted a hand and concentrated. Some gifts had been hers since birth. Willow could suddenly see a white energy around her future wife, rippling like a cape with fiancé’s slightest movement. She had never seen anyone’s energy be so pure… and gentle. So incredibly gentle. She wanted to call to this woman, to bid her to come closer. To move to her side and take her hand, to lead her way… or be led by her. She would follow, she would follow this vision happily, eagerly.
Her future wife stopped and looked up at the stars. She suddenly looked sad, the crystal blue eyes dismayed. The Life Mage lowered her head, cupping hands rising to settle over her lips. It was a position of prayer for a heart that was heavy. “I will carry your burdens,” Willow heard herself whisper. She knew the words to be part of the traditional marriage vows of her people. Her people, she thought. She refocused on the blonde before her, and amended the thought - our people. “I will carry your burdens,” Willow said again, just barely louder, swept away by how deeply she meant every word. Her head began to spin, all the feelings that were settling inside her were so new, so powerful.
“What’s her name?” Willow suddenly needed to know.
“Tara.” Xander told her.
“Tara.” Willow repeated and tried to lean forward even more. It was the moment when near disaster struck. The Lady Mage began to tumble forward, and she was so off balance by then that the best Buffy could do was catch her arm and keep her from hitting the ground. Willow grappled to find a foot hold again from where she dangled. Buffy grunted and tried to heave her friend back up the wall.
The scuffling sounds they were making did not go unnoticed. Willow’s future wife looked around and called out, “Hello?” Willow froze and for a moment it look like she was going to reply. Before she could, the Grand Protector heaved mightily and pulled Willow up. Buffy shoved the Mantlebearer back behind the wall into Xander’s waiting arms before jumping down for herself. If they were caught, there would be hell to pay and Willow seemed half in a daze.
The cry for the night guard was suddenly raised up. Buffy rolled her eyes.
“Well… run! Run, already!” Buffy ordered.
Somewhere, in another place far, far away, Willow Rosenberg jerked awake. There was a tickling at the back of her mind and she remembered that she had been arguing with Giles in the dream, but couldn’t remember about what. She had schoolwork, and to study and… GADZOOKS… she sat straight up in her bed. She had a date tonight.
************************************************************************
The Now
Experimentation had always gotten Willow into trouble and this time was no different. She had stirred the tea in her glass one hundred and seven times by her count. She flicked a look to the woman across the table just to make sure she wasn’t missing anything.
“So I’m a stonebutch, but I don’t do the whole genderfuck thing. A couple of my friends do, but I’m not into that.”
Stonebutch. Genderfuck. Lipstick Lesbian. Mentally, Willow jotted these things down. She had never expected that exploring her sexuality would involve learning a whole other language. She found it fascinating on some level. As someone who tinkered with computers, Willow knew that computer people had their own language, but she hadn’t expected to go on her first date with another woman and be so thoroughly… confused.
Confusion had led her to this place and apparently confusion was going to be sticking around for a while. This date with Nicki was the product of her second visit to Sunnydale’s one and only gay bar.
“So how long have you been ‘family’?” her date was asking.
“Um… family,” Willow repeated. ‘Family’ in this context could mean a number of things, and Willow wasn’t sure which definition Nicki was looking for. This was a kind of divine justice. Karma had reached out a bony finger and poked Willow Rosenberg in her conscience. Okay, she wasn’t much of a liar and she’d lied to get here. She was bad… bad, bad, bad
The woman across from her produced a cigarette and lit it. That was the sixth one. In an hour. The green eyed hacker watched in distant fascination as the smoke somehow targeted her – the non-smoker – and started a slow, deliberate crawl toward her face. It reached Willow and she coughed a little and drank her tea. Nicki was still waiting for her answer.
“Family,” Willow repeated once more. “You want to know if I am family. Um… well my mom and dad are Jewish, as are all of my cousins. Although I have a protestant Uncle named Herbert. He’s sort of the black sheep of the family though and we never talk about…”
“No, no.” Nicki laughed. “I mean how long have known? About being gay?”
“Not very long.” Willow answered honestly, though she knew her date had no idea exactly how true that statement was. Two weeks tomorrow, to be precise. Omission, Willow thought and worried her lower lip with her teeth, that was another lie.
She’d felt desperate. Desperate to understand. Desperate to find some answers.
Two weeks ago she had started having ‘feelings’ around her new boss, who ran a program at UC Sunnydale called ‘Helping Hands.’ Actually the feelings were more FOR her new boss then just around her. Her soft-spoken, slightly withdrawn boss that ran herself ragged trying to operate ‘Helping Hands’. Willow hadn’t expected to be broadsided with feelings like this, and certainly not for someone of the same sex. Not at this point in her life, where she had felt incapable of being surprised. Yet she hadn’t had feelings like this for anyone since Oz. And that was three years ago.
For quite some time, Xander and Anya had been bugging her about being perpetually single. Xander had tried to set her up with someone from work. Anya encouraged any male that came in the Magic Box to meet ‘our smart, funny, reasonably pretty and totally available friend, Willow.’ The demon spawn engaged couple had even threatened to put an ad on one of those matchmaker web sites. Willow had loudly vetoed the idea, and appealed to Buffy for help, but the slayer didn’t think it was THAT bad an idea.
Did NO ONE remember her OTHER experiences with online romances?
It seemed that ALL the Scoobies save Giles thought that her ever-constant presence at the magic box at all hours was ‘unhealthy.’ Xander had out and out said that she needed a hobby besides patrolling and school. Willow had promised to work on it.
In her usual fashion though, she didn’t find a hobby, what she found was a commitment and one that she considered worthwhile and fulfilling. And hey, if she got to ogle her very attractive boss every now and again, so be it. Willow had volunteered her web building services to a Teen Crisis program that had just been started on the college campus. It was where she had met the woman that had caused a mass of emotional confusion. The same woman that was - near as Willow could tell – unattainable.
So… here she was with Nicki. Who was… nice.
‘Helping Hands’ was the brainchild of the college junior who now was in charge of running it – with the Dean’s approval, of course. The moment that she’d met the manager of ‘Helping Hands’ Willow’s neat little life, semi organized into helping Buffy and schoolwork, began to feel… convoluted.
Convoluted, she thought. That was a good word.
It was some rather convoluted feelings for her boss that had made her realize that her problem with dating might not be an overall lack of interest in anything sexual. It may be… well, that she hadn’t been looking at the right sex. This had led her to do ‘research.’ Including hitting Sunnydale’s one and only gay bar in where she searched for… something that she couldn’t put a name too. She wanted the way her heart smiled whenever her boss walked into a room. She wanted to feel that rush when someone brushed by her, the same one she felt when…
Memories came back to her. Of childhood crushes on Jenny Calendar and a strange discomfort with herself… her body. A feeling of pressure within herself to rush… rush through the sexual parts and maybe then she wouldn’t feel so awkward. But she did feel awkward so it couldn’t be with just anyone. Oz had made her feel safe. The manager of ‘Helping Hands’ made her feel hope. Some strange indefinable hope. Just by standing in the same room with her.
So here she was… on a date. With Nicki. Who was not her boss, but who was nice.
Such compelling feelings for someone who was the same sex bore further looking into. She had to find out if… if it was just her boss or if there was more. How big a doorway was this? Was she just lonely or… or was there more there?
Willow had never been one to cruise bars and now she knew exactly why. Her current date had seemed adventurous and charming at the bar. The truth was Nicki was those things even now and Willow wasn’t really sure what she was finding boring. The blonde had a devil-may-care grin and spoke her mind. And, there was no question that she was beautiful. But…
But…
Something was missing. Something that Willow couldn’t quite put a finger on. There was a certain attraction. But it was a distant hum more then a bone deep crackle.
“You are out?” Nicki asked.
“Um… well… not in the ‘out’, out way. I’m not out like all the way outside the door, stark naked and singing the gay spangled banner. I’m more out like… peek around the edge of the door and maybe wave. That’s not bad, right? I mean, I think… people have to handle these things their own way. And I can’t even sing, even if I knew all the words to Gay Spangled banner, which I don’t because it doesn’t exist. But if it did exist, I’d know it, I just wouldn’t sing it. Because you know… tone deaf. Anyway, it’s not like no one knows. My parents don’t but that’s only because I think my parents would probably want to write a paper on it.”
“Uh huh.” Her date replied, and Willow stopped. Nicki wasn’t listening. Not really. The tall woman across from her found her boring. Okay, so it was mutual.
Strangely though, Willow couldn’t stop the ramble. She was just eternally grateful to finally have something to say. “My friend Buffy knows. She’s supportive. I mean… there was the fifteen minutes where she kept asking if I meant GAY, gay. Then there’s my other friend Xander who… well I just can’t tell him yet. We had the clothing fluke and his ego is all fragile. Not that I don’t think he would understand – he’s a great guy. Just not in a ‘I want to date you’ kind of way. But I used to think he was great in that way too, which is why I’m not sure if I should tell him. At least not yet.”
Maybe when I become a little more sure of the whole thing myself, Willow thought. She had told Buffy because she’d HAD to talk to someone about it. Buffy had encouraged her to tread lightly, but had made it clear that they were best friends and Willow would always have her support. Buffy had been predictably called away at that moment by Giles who wanted her help in dealing with a developing demon issue. So Buffy hadn’t been there to see Willow clutch a pillow to her chest and sob in relief. Willow hadn’t realized how heavy a burden the subject had been until that moment.
Nicki was giving a dimpled grin. “So… you feel like getting out of here?” The question was innocent enough. Nicki’s hand, though, reached out and settled on Willow’s knee. The redhead felt like a deer in headlights for a split second, then her mind shouted at her ‘Touching! Definitively naughty touching!’ Willow scrambled back and wound up falling out of her chair. Nicki laughed softly, “You’re such a fucking virgin.”
Willow had said she had been dating women ‘for a while.’ A white lie. She hadn’t wanted to come off as totally clueless and inexperienced. She just needed time and then she would find her feet. She knew she would. Besides, she was afraid if people knew she was newly out of the gate so to speak, they would treat her differently. Which would blur the data she was trying to gather. The data that would help her solve everything. The data that would make the confusion go away. It was driving her crazy to feel so… uncertain, so jumbled, so off balance. So, Willow had embellished. And had subsequently felt terrible about it.
The red head winced. “Well, if you mean… I may not be very… experienced… at all, really. None, um… well one… if you count you.” She hung her head. “I’m really sorry… I just… it’s hard for me to…”
Nicki looked sympathetic for a moment. “Look, I’ve been there, but I’m not up for giving Lesbian 101.” The words sank deeply into Willow and they hurt.
“I’m sorry.” Willow said sincerely. She felt as if she’d made a mess of everything. “I didn’t mean to… you were really nice to me at the bar and when you asked me out, it just seemed like a good idea to see… how I felt.” Willow felt like she was digging herself in deeper and deeper. The reasoning came off as pretty shallow suddenly, though she certainly hadn’t seen it that way before. It sound like she was leading people on, but she wasn’t. Or at least, she hadn’t meant to. She had thought Nicki was cute at the bar.
The other woman shrugged. “So how do you feel?”
“Like a jerk,” Willow answered honestly.
Nicki’s expression softened and suddenly she looked at her like a little sister more than a potential bed partner. “Look, I’ll give you a name of a couple places that help out newbies, okay? But… you can’t just screw around with this. You should wait on the dating thing till you know what the hell you’re doing. There’s a lot of shit to figure out and no one likes being a test case.”
It felt like a painful hole was in her chest that just kept growing and getting deeper. “No, I didn’t mean anything like that,” Willow told her.
Nicki nodded in acknowledgement. Her voice had been harsh, but now it quieted. “There’s a lot of women out there that get an itch for the lesbian ‘experience,’ you know? Half the time they break hearts then skip on back to their husbands, or boyfriends - whatever.”
The redhead raised her chin slightly. “I’m not out looking for experiences. Believe me,
I stumble into enough on my own. I didn’t expect…” She was going to say ‘her,’ but maybe it wasn’t that simple. “to feel this way.”
Her date regarded her a long moment. “You have a right to find out who you are and what you want, you just shouldn’t find out at someone else’s expense, you know? It takes time. Just take it slow. There’s not a rush.”
Willow’s brow furrowed. “I just like felt if I didn’t do something my head was going to explode. I’m not good at being confused.”
“Hon, no one is. You’ll figure it out.” Nicki called for the check then offered half a smile. “This – tonight – is no big deal.”
It was, however, clearly the end of the date.
*********************************************************************
Willow, shoulders slumped, started to go into the Magic Box and then veered away. She didn’t want to face Anya right now. She really hadn’t wanted to offend anyone. She was just trying to figure everything out. Dating seemed like a good idea.
Nicki had kept her word about giving her some numbers to call. Maybe she would do that tomorrow. Or maybe she would curl up under her covers and not come out for a long while.
Her thoughts twirled in her head. It surprised her when she found herself at the door of ‘Helping Hands.’ She checked her watch – almost nine o’clock. Technically the center had closed an hour ago, though the manager always wore a pager for the number that was left on the Center’s answering machine. Inside, Willow could still see that the light for the manager’s office was on. She saw movement inside and her heart instantly felt lighter.