What It Caused

[CEsgirl13]

Title:What It Caused

Author:me, Jamie(CEsGirl13)

Disclaimer:I don't own any of the Buffy-verse characters, I'm just simply borrowing them.

Summary:A demon comes to Willow and makes her choose between the life of Tara or her the lives of Tara's family. That's all I'm saying I dont want to spoil it for you.

This is a pretty AU fic, it doesn't take place in Sunnydale but I'm not sure where yet.

Feedback:Is muchly appreciated.

Dedication: To someone so special she can even make me happy when I'm crawling in a gloomy hole thousands of feet deep. My wonderful and beautiful Callie.

Rating G to R(Just to be safe!! I promise)

Note:There's a lot of angst as most of you know I write a lot of angst. But happy ending will come and I'm not sure how long I'll make this fic.

Hope you all enjoy!



What It Caused:Chapter 1



Its dark breath flowed menacingly down my arms as its large black eyes took me in. Smelling the magick on me, it hissed in dissaproval. It blinked its large eyes and red pupils came into existence, causing goose bumps to erupt on my skin.



"You're a wiitch...A nasssty, nassty witch. I'll make you payy for being what you arrre." I flinched as the words hit me. The demon had come unbidden, walking right through my window and observing me with distaste. I had a feeling it was out to punish all witches and was seeking out all that it could. Its dark eyes flicked up to the picture of Tara on my computer desk. A cruel smile lit its features and I cringed, knowing I wouldn't like what was going to come from its mouth next.



"I will kill her family, but you must choose one, and only one of them to survive. Which do you choossse witch?" I gasped in horror. I couldn't let her die, I wouldn't. But if her family was gone, what would she do? She'd be in so much pain and I wouldn't be able to help. But I couldn't let her die. It was impossible when I knew this creature was serious. Gathering up my courage, tears running from my eyes, I faced it and stared straight into its eyes.



"I choose h-h-her life. T-Tara's." The demon smiled in pleasure and flames erupted from around its lips.



"She will be in much pain, and you will have worse. This enjoyable deed will be done by the time the sun cast its annoying glow upon the horizon. I bid you farewell and hope to see you cry even more with her pain." With that, it dissapeared in a choking mist. Those words rang in my ears and prevented me from going to sleep at all. Her family was going to die, and it was going to be all my fault.

***

Watching through the window, I saw the first hint of light hit a tall house at the end of the street. Instead of the usual joy a sunrise brought me, pain stabbed into me like a jagged and rusted knife. Tara would be in so much pain. And right then I knew what I had to do. I would have to leave after the funerals.



An hour or two later, my cell phone went off, the ringing going on and on. The caller was frantic and I knew it was her. Oh goddess I knew it was her calling me to tell me that they were dead. Shaking with fear and sadness, I pulled the phone out of its cradle and flipped it open.



"H-hello?"



"Willow!!! Gods, Willow! I need you baby. I need you r-r-right n-now. They're...they're d-d-dead. Mom, Dad, everyone. Please Willow. Come over, I need you to be with me." She was crying so hard I coud barely make out what she was saying.



"I...I'll b-be right over sweetie. I l-love you." I didn't hear what she last said, because I had dropped the phone. It had really happened. All night I had wished that the demon had been just my imagination, that this wouldn't happen. But I was a fool to even hope that.



Weakly, I walked outside and practically fell into my car. I drove slowly, as slow as I could without getting pulled over. But all too soon, I was parking in front of her house and she was running out of the door. She tackled and hugged me in an embrace so fierce I thought I would die, but I was already dead. Just like her family. We went inside and sat down on the couch and she told me what had happened. The police couldn't indentify the cause of death, there wasn't much to go on. The bodies had been torn apart. Right then I wanted to die, to fall upon a knife that would pierce my heart and stop this pain.



But I didn't. I sat with Tara, holding her while she cried until she fell asleep. This was all my fault. All of the tears falling down her face were my fault. It felt as if I had killed them instead of the demon doing it as punishment for me.



I stayed with her every day up until the funeral. We walked into the graveyard, all of the caskets only feet apart from one another. Tara stared at them blankly, tears sliding down her cheeks. I looped my arm around her waist and brung her closer to me. It was probably the last time that I'd get the chance. Even more tears came as the caskets went down, her begging for them to come back. I cried my own tears, for what I had done, and what I was about to do.



When the crowd started breaking up, I walked her over to an old oak tree and told her I needed to tell her something extremely important.



"Tara...I'm l-l-leaving...It's something I h-h-h....have to d-do. I'm so sorry Tara. I love you s-s-so much. I'll come back some day. Please don't look for me...Please..." She looked up at me in shock and pain.



"Willow....why? Why are you l-leaving now? I need you. Please, Goddess Will, don't leave me like this." Tears started up again and they pooled onto her pale neck. I was crying hard, trying hard not to look away from her.



"I love you Tara. Never forget that." With that I kissed her softly on the lips and slipped a note into her hand. Her grip tightened on mine as I began to walk away. I had to pry her away. I didn't want to but if I stayed there would be that much more pain. That note I had slipped into her hands held the truth and I knew she would hate me after she read it. I walked out of the cemetery and got into my car. I saw her running after me and tears spilled down my face as I pulled away.

**

Tara sat in her room, tears dried on her cheeks, fingers fiddling with the note Willow had given her. Tara hand't read it yet, but now slowly opened its folds to read the familar writing of her beloved.



Dear Tara,

What you are about to read will give you much reason to hate and despise me. You will now understand why I left but before that I want you to know some things. I love you Tara. I didnt leave because I didnt love you, I left because of something that happened. I know you need me right now but you wont want me anymore after youve read this. I will always love you Tara and please know that I didnt mean for it to happen..

Your family's death was my fault. A demon came to me the night it happened and told me it would punish me for being a witch. It saw your picture on my desk and told me that it would kill your family but that I had to choose one and only one of them to survive. I chose you. I knew that you'd be in so much pain but I couldnt bare for you to be gone. I know I've caused you so much pain Tara and I know you're probably seething with anger right now about what was my fault. I love you, I always will.

Love forever and always,

Willow Rosenburg-MacClay



"But I don't hate you Willow. Goddess send my baby back to me...Please." Tara didn't hate her, she understood. If she had been in that situation she knew she'd have picked Willow's life. But Willow had said not to look for her. Tara didn't care. She would find her love and tell her that she didn't hate her. That she still loved her like always.

<><><><><><><>

I'm sorry the beginning is so heartwrenching but I promise there will be god stuff in the future. You just gotta bare with me.

~Jamie

J C

When you choose to hold the rose you are also agreeing to bleed.

Edited by: maudmac  at: 8/7/04 9:38 pm

[LunaMuses]

Well, I like this so far! I mean, I know things kinda suck at the moment...but I like the agnst, so I'm not complaining. I like your concept, setting up this guilt Willow must deal with. I'm interested to hear more about where Willow's gone, too.



Can't wait to hear more

In Memory of Austin Evans...you will not be forgotten...

[sam darls]

Wow..heart wrenching is right but that was amazing. I loved it. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[CEsgirl13]

Thanks for the feedback, it makes me all bubbly inside..woah did I just say bubbly? Anyways, next chapter will be up soon but next week will probably be very scarce of updates. I have bandcamp monday through thursday 8 am to 8 pm. But maybe Ill squeeze in an update here and there. Loves to all!

~Jamie

It hurts because you love me. -CE

[Wired vixen]

That...hurt my heart. How is Tara gonna cope with the deaths and without her Willow? How is Willow gonna cope without her Tara? And the joined surnames........oooh boy....

In need of serious cuddles now



Update soon!



Stace xXx

[amazonaa]

Wow.



That was great. I loved it.







Great job.







brittney









~Kiss this axe, bitch!---Tara "Bargaining part 2"~

[BurningWhiteRose]

This is a very intriguing idea.



Sad too...



Although the idea of killing your lovers family for your lover really does make sense. Im sure I'd prolly do it too...If you know...I had a lover...



So anywho...



Continue!



Sincerely,

BWR

***

If homosexuals dont reproduce, why are there so many of them?-Jim David

[Mikaelah Braenna]

Yep, that was an angsty chapter, but it was very good. You have me intrigued where you are taking this, especially how Tara will cope without Willow and her family. I believe almost anyone would have chosen as Willow did given the circumstances. More soon!



~Mikaelah

That'll teach me to challenge her. ~Tara ... ~Something New by Ophelia11

[Yellow Crayon]

thats dank bud. you're the best.



nice job.

[Stormforce]

That was good. I really want to read more of this, especially finding out where Willow ran off to... Poor Tara Can't wait to read more.

To be forgotten is worse than death.

[CEsgirl13]

Disclaimer:Same as Before

Note: The young man, Joe, is actually one of my old friends from a few years ago. I put him in here because he fit the character I put him as perfectly. Joe helped me a lot through a lot of stuff.



What It Caused:Chapter 2





A young man with short, brown hair stood behind the counter wiping away the crumbs and spills from the massive amounts of coffee and muffins served out that day. His eyes strayed to a dark corner where a blonde girl was sitting alone, staring into her coffee as if it were the most interesting thing ever.



She was obviously not aware of her surroundings at the time. The young man had seen her come in often, always sitting at the same table, always staring vacantly either at her coffee or the seat across from her. Another young woman used to come in with her but it had been ages since he had seen her come in at all. It was around the time the redhead had stopped coming in that the blonde had gotten quiet and distant.



Sighing, he made his way over to the table and pulled a chair out in front of the young woman.



"Excuse me ma'am. Are you okay? Is it okay if I sit down for a minute?" Tara nodded weakly, still not looking at him directly.



"Um, I know it's not my place to ask, but..is something going on? Are you okay?" He twiddled his thumbs, feeling a bit awkward around the woman. She was so closed up from the world, it was unsettling. Tara looked down into her lap and sighed.



"I..I can't f-find her. It's been three months and still no sign. I've tried everything. Detective agencies, calling,"she gave a humorless chuckle," and I even tried hacking into government files. Still nothing. She's gone, she's really gone and I don't know how to find her."



"Well...My name's Joeand if I can help you just let me know. I've seen you a lot in here and correct me if I'm wrong, I used to see you and her in here a lot too. If you need me I'll just be up at the counter." Joe dragged his way back to the counter and when he looked back at where Tara had sat a minute before, was an empty table.

****

Willow sat in her dingy apartment, looking intently at the screen of her laptop. Someone had hacked into the government files that day and she was trying to follow the trail left by the culprit. What she found made her gasp in surprise.The number matched that of the laptop she had bought Tara only four months before she had left.



Feeling nausious, she pulled herself up and grabbed her coat walking out the door. Tara couldn't find her because she was the only place that she wouldn't look. She was in Dover, Delaware, miles and miles away from Province Town, Massachusettes. Light from the stars twinkled down from the sky as she walked along North State Street and entered the cemetery.



Walking along between the graves, her thoughts drifted to Tara and what had happened. Needing to sit down, Willow made her way toward the edge of Silver Lake, mindful of the steep edges that were hard to notice on some parts of the lake.



Willow knew she had to return to Province Town but wasn't sure how she would face Tara. It would be rocky, that was guaranteed. What wasn't guaranteed was if Tara would have her back or not.



If Tara would want her back or not didn't matter, she needed to see her again. Willow made her way out of the cemetery and up the street back to the house that her apartment was located in up on Route 8. She packed up the little amount of belongings she had and left a note to the house owner. Outside, she jumped into her car and practically sped up the road to the highway that would lead her back to her home. Tara.

<><><><><><>

Well there's chapter 2, hope you guys like it. Updates will be soon.

~Jamie

It hurts because you love me. -CE

[BurningWhiteRose]

Woohoo!!



She's gonna get back to Tara.



She should know Tara will take her back.



Its...well...I would if I were Tara...



Sincerely,

BWR

***

If homosexuals dont reproduce, why are there so many of them?-Jim David

[Stormforce]

*Does a happy dance* She's going back! Yessss! Still like it and I can't wait to read more.

To be forgotten is worse than death.

[LunaMuses]

lol Tara can hack too. how cool is that? ;P



I like Joe...maybe he will be able to help Tara cope?



can't wait to hear about the reunion....

In Memory of Austin Evans...you will not be forgotten...

[alysagoddess85]

wow...i just read both chapters and the first one was so sad...i wanted to ...but then i read the second chapter and willows going back to tara...so woohoo!! please continue!



~mel

Willow: It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay.

Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was



Sure it doesn't

[amazonaa]

Oh ya!! She's going back to Tara.





Great job. More soon please.





brittney







~Kis this axe, bitch!---Tara "Bargaining part 2"~

[Wired vixen]

Yay!! Back to Tara we go....



More sooooon?



Stace xXx

[sam darls]

Awww...Joe sounds so sweet and lovely. Wonderful update Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[Irishgrl3]

Wow, what a tense two chapters. Very sad, but well written. This is a great story so far, can't wait for an update.

[CEsgirl13]

        Chapter 3

Willow had been driving for hours and her eyes were aching as well as her head. Briefly. she thought of stopping and resting but she discarded that thought as fast as it had come. She had to get to Tara, now. Sleep nor acheyness could get in the way of that. Blaring from the radio, her cell phone rang obnoxiously. Willow's heart began to race because no one had called her since she had left Massachusettes. Shaking, she pushed the button and a voice crackled through.

        "Willow, this is Joe. I know I promised to keep your whereabouts a secret, but you really need to come back. Tara's a wreck. She needs you now more than anything. At least for her sake come back."

        "Joe? You haven't talked to me since I left, why are you calling now. And you know I can't do that. Not after all the pain I caused her." She had decided not to tell Joe because if she did, he would alert Tara and that wasn't one of the best ideas. He sighed deeply and paused.

        "Well, will you at least consider it. Willow, she's...Tara, she's gotten so skinny and withdrawn. She only wears dark clothes these days nd she's so pale and week. Tara can't even get through a sentence without stuttering anymore." Wilow winced as she heard that. Tara only stuttered when she was in extreme pain.

        "Look Joe, I'll consider. I've got to go though because I'm on my way to...uh..work. Bye" Willow cut it off before Joe could say anything else.

------

        Back in Provincetown, Joe held the phone in his hand, not having hung it up yet. Something was definately up with Willow, had she found someone new, or was she planning to move even farther away than she already had? From behind him came a cough and he turned around face to face with Tara. For a second, he stood in shock thinking of how she had just left the coffee shop only minutes before.

        "Something's up Joe, something that you're not telling me. You know Willow, and you know where she is. That little second thing is information you're going to share with me." Her stutter had dissapeared and there was a steelyness in her eyes. Hse raised her eyebrow as if to dare him not to comply and he gulped in displeasure.

        "I..see the thing is, I don't think she's there anymore. I..she sounds like she's on the move. I'd tell you Tara but I'm sworn to secrecy."

        "Alright, but I'll be back tomorrow to annoy the hell out of you until you tell me." her smirk promised that what she said was true and that he was in for it.

-----

        It was now 11:38pm and Willow was just now pulling into Provincetown. Excitement and fear coursed through her as she slowly parked in front of Tara's home. A solitary light shown from the bedroom upstairs. carefully, she exited her car and walked up the steps and stood in front of the door, hand gripped on the doorknob. And she froze. What in the hell was she doing? She shouldn't even be here at all. Willow slowly lost her grip on the doorknob and let her hand fall to her side. The door burst open and bewildered, Willow fell backwards. A confused Tara looked down and her breath stopped seeing who she had frightened.

        "W-Willow? What, I heard someone pull up...What are you doing here?" She was shocked and unsure of how to act. Willow took one glance and then pulled herself and ran. As fast as her legs could take her, she got into her car and sped off. Tara stood bewildered and before she thought anything, she jumped into her own car and sped after Willow's quickly retreating vehicle. Willow stopped in front of a graveyard, no, the graveyard and jumped over the fence. She bolted to the Willow tree and then stood there shaking, tears falling down her face.

        Tara crept up behind her and touched her shoulder. Willow shrank away from the touch and backed up, beginning another attempt to run. Before she could go anywhere, Tara grabbed her arm and pulled her to her into an embrace so tight, Willow almost couldn't breathe. She didn't let go until Willow had fully relaxed in her arms and had returned the embrace. Tara stroked her cheek, wiping away the tears that had littered her gentle face.

        "Willow," was all she said before she started crying too and kissed her girl once more.



<<<<>>>>

IM BACK. Lol, well here's chapter 3. Hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry it took me so long, so much bad stuff hs been happening but Im back.!!

~J

It hurts because you love me. -CE

me-I guess paper's sexier than I am, it can do a lot of things I can't.

CE-You're sexier than paper, and theres things you can do that it can't. Like, love me.