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Fight with the First (short fic)

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Fight with the First (short fic)

Postby Imjustme » Thu Apr 22, 2004 4:11 pm

Author: Imjustme

Rating: R

Summary: Season 7ish but without the SIT's (blah) Everyone has been killed by the first (save Tara who went the way of the nerds :( ...) except Willow and Buffy. It starts out kind of sad..sorry about that. I might add to it I haven't really decided yet.

Copyright: Joss Whedon and all... I'm borrowing them. Feedback: Please.








"Will Ru-" Buffy's words were cut off as a blade ripped through her stomach.



"Buffy!" Willow shouted as she turned and headed back towards her.



"Why are you doing this?" She screamed.



"Why wouldn't I? I'm the First...surely you must have expected it." Came the voice



Willow dropped the crossbow she was holding and fell to her knees.



"Fine then take me too."



"Take you?" The voice laughed "If I were going to kill you don't you think I would have done it by now?"



"Everyone I love is gone...there's nothing left for me and you're letting me live?" Willow sobbed



"Oh, stop being a baby. I saw your power, I saw what you can do when you let the dark magick's take over." The First paused then added...



"You took out some of my best men. Why if you were a bit stronger you could have even beaten me" The First added with a sound of respect.



Willow looked up as the body of Xander appeared



"Just a little insurance, in case you were thinking of trying anything" he explained



"As I was saying, you're very strong...more than you even know. I want you to join me."



"What if I refuse?" Willow questioned



"Then I'll kill you. You should that I can also keep your soul if I choose to do so. Not even in death would you find peace."



"Besides," he added "Think of the perks"



Willow pretended to consider the offer but instead was rethinking part of what the First had said..."If you were a bit stronger you could have beaten me"



"Well, don't think too long. I don't have all day!" The First shouted



"What kind of perks?" Willow asked stalling



"Well, for starters you'd never have to fear anyone...except me of course" The First explained



As he turned to pace Willow rushed to Buffy's body placing a hand on her head and chanting:



"Hecate, I ask thee, give me her power"



Spinning around the First headed towards Willow.



"Ah come on Will, you wouldn't hurt your old buddy would you?" Xander's voice asked



Tears streamed down Willow's face as she closed her eyes.



"That's what I thought" said the First grabbing an ax and once again heading towards her



Willow reached up catching the ax as the first started to swing and slamming him into the wall. As he got up she yelled "Teleport!"

A portal appeared sucking the first into it and binding him there.






"Sorry, but I think I'll pass on the offer." She whispered



As she started to get up a light appeared and a softer voice spoke to her



"So, you did it."



"Who are you?" Willow asked



"I'm the First Good" the light responded



"The First Good! Aren't you a little late?" She said in an almost shout



The voice laughed gently "No child, I'm right on time. You had to decide for yourself which path you would choose."





"Although, had you picked evil I still would have came to try and stop you." The light added



"I see, so why are you here now?"



"Because, you choose good and you won. I've came to congratulate you and to offer you a gift."



"A gift?" Willow asked



"More of a wish really, so what do you say? What is it you would like?" The light questioned



"I want my life back. I want it like it was before all this, before the nerds. I want...Tara" Willow said softly



"Done" the voice said



Willow woke to find blue eyes looking down at her



"Tara!" Willow gasped



"Sorry love, did I wake you?" She asked stroking Willow's hair gently



Willow pulled Tara into her arms and into a passionate kiss



"Mmmmm, now that's the way every day should always start." Tara smiled



"Hey, what's this?" she asked picking up a note from the table next to the bed. She read aloud:





Dear Willow and Tara,



Hope all is well, thanks again and good luck.



- The First (Good)

Imjustme
 


Re: Fight with the First (short fic)

Postby Garner » Thu Apr 22, 2004 4:30 pm

I really like the idea of a First Good being around to offset the First Evil. I've always thought the Whedon outlook was a bit too lopsided. Now reading Lovecraft I can handle that sort of thing, but it is supposed to be dark and everyone does end up insane or dead. Buffy wasn't supposed to be about that, but fighting the darkness. So cool.



I think you did a good job with the dialog, it seems to flow and sounds pretty natural, though in places a bit youngish. You might want to make the Firsts' sound a bit more formal, they've been around for a long time after all. I also liked Willow drawing on Buffy's power, that was pretty cool.



I would suggest trying to work on some descriptive a little bit. Scenery, what the characters are doing, that sort of thing. It really helps give a more solid feel to a story that the talking head style doesn't.



Anyway, interesting and nice. Keep writing.



Garner



Garner
 


Re: Fight with the First (short fic)

Postby Spikeizmine87 » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:34 pm

:bigwave

hey! good start! This is a very good idea! Original too! Like it alot! Cant wait for more! Update soon!

:pride :bounce

-Rose

Im here. And Im queer. Need I say more?

Yes, I shop at "Dykes R Us"

Spikeizmine87
 


Re: Fight with the First (short fic)

Postby onyxsundrops » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:56 pm

You don't usually hear about a First Good, which is why the beginning sounds so interesting. I'm very curious to see how life will be for the (resurrected?) gang.:)



Yvonne:peace

onyxsundrops
 


Re: Fight with the First (short fic)

Postby jixer » Sat Apr 24, 2004 1:52 am

Hello Kittens-



I like the balance too. The First Good gives, the First Evil takes. At the end BtVS had a nihilism that was boring and short sighted. Here we have it all coming down to a decision and an action by a human, and then the balance of the First Good (which came first, good or evil?)



The only way to get better is to listen and write more. Consider that a hint :)





Jixer

jixer
 


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