Darkness Lost



Author Name: Beamer311

Email: Beamer2131@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of it, only borrowing, Joss and Me own it all

Pairing: W/T of course

Spoilers: Up through “Tabula Rasa” then goes AU

Summary: AU where instead of Tara leaving at the end of “Tabula Rasa” Willow does, she then leaves Sunnydale until she is sure she can face any of the scoobies again.

Feedback: It would be much appreciated, I will try to reply to all I can

**Thoughts in single quote**



Chapter 1: Leaving



        She couldn’t believe this was happening, ‘What’s wrong with me’ Willow thought as she sat against the dresser, her now ex-lover packing her things in the room down the hall. ‘God how could I be so stupid, magic got me into this, it couldn’t get me out’

        Then something dawned on her, something she should have been thinking about the entire time.

        ‘She can’t leave, Dawn needs her, Buffy needs her, they don’t need me right now, nope they don’t need some magic junkie.’ she thought, ‘Yeah, she can’t leave, but I can!’ that was it she ahd to leave, it was what was best for everyone.

        She got up off of the floor and slowly started to walk to her room

        “I don’t want to talk to you right now Willow,” Tara said as she grabbed some of her things and put them into a box.

        “I know, that’s why I’m not going to take long,” she said as she went to the closet and grabbed her duffle bags.

        “What, are going to help me pack?” Tara asked a little hurt by the thought that Willow wanted her out.

        “No,” she said as she opened her drawers and through all she could into them quickly.

        “Will, what are doing,” tara said a little scared now

        “Don’t call me that!” she snapped as she turned around, “you don’t have any right to anymore,”

        “Then why are you taking your things,” Tara asked, trying not to cry.

        “I’m leaving, not you, you need to stay here and take care of the rest of them,” she said as she grabbed her laptop and put it in its carrying case.

        “No, Willow you need to stay so they can help you,” tara said as she tried to grab Willow, but instead Willow just pushed her away onto the bed.

        “If you can’t help me what makes you think they can,” she spat out at Tara as she headed for the door, “don’t try to contact me, if I ever come back I’ll let you know,” that was the last thing Tara heard Willow say, she just sat there on the bed, not moving not believing that this was really happening, some of the things that Willow had said were true, but still really hurt her.





        Dawn heard the door slam, it was over she thought, Tara was gone, great another person leaving her, she was furious at Willow for ever using that spell, now she was going to let her know it.

        She swung open her door and headed for Willow’s room, but when she got here, she only found a sobbing Tara.

        “What happened?” Dawn asked as she sat down next to Tara

        “S-s-she l-l-left m-m-m-e,” was all she could get out before she lost it and started sobbing uncontrollably.

        Dawn couldn’t do anything but sit there and try to comfort the blonde, she felt horrible for her and angry at Willow, but she felt that Willow had acted selfishly in leaving, though she still got to keep Tara.

       





        Willow was numb, she had left her everything, she had nothing but her belongings, then just started walking, she needed to go somewhere, then she saw it, her parents house, she could go there for a few days until she knew what she was going to do.

        She got into the house and went into the kitchen, there was a note on the fridge, her parents were out of town again, big surprise there, she went up to her old room, and got her laptop out, she needed to find out as much about magic withdraws as she could, before they started.

        She found some basic sites, they told her to drink plenty of fluids and get rest wa about all she could do on her own, she knew that her DTs were going to start tomorrow and she knew they were going to be bad, but she had to do this, for her family and for Tara.





        It was a fitful night of sleep for both the wiccans, Tara couldn’t get comfortable she was used to having Willow there to comfort her and hold her, but there was no such thing anymore, she sat up in bed and started to cry again, ‘maybe if I handout been so hard on her this wouldn’t have happened, maybe she really will stop for good,’ she thought, “Willow where are you,” she said aloud to the dark room before falling back onto the pillow and tried again to get comfortable.

        Willow was in much worse shape, her withdrawals had started earlier then she thought, and now she was tossing around in her old bed trying to calm down, she was cramping in about every muscles in her body, her stomach was turning, she was sweating horribly, and she couldn’t stop it, she heard voices telling her to give up, to give in, but she just thought of Tara and what she had to lose if she kept this up. Finally it passed, she got a glass of water from the pitcher she put by her bed and drank it all before she fell back asleep, to tired to even blink.





Three weeks later...



        “Tara, you want to go get some ice cream,” Dawn said as she poked her head into the blonde wiccans room.

        Tara just lay on the bed, looking at a book, after Willow had left, she was left with nothing, she was so hurt that Willow would say those things to her, she felt Willow didn’t love her anymore and that’s why she left, essentially she blamed herself for this whole thing. “Umm, sure, Dawn, I’ll be down in a few,” she said as she close the book, ‘I need to get out of this house for a while,’ she thought.

        “Okay, see you then,” she said as she went back downstairs.

        Tara got off the bed and looked at the dresser, it was filled with pictures of her and Willow, she couldn’t bare to move any of them, because she didn’t know when she was going to see Willow again.

        She headed down the stairs and out the door with Dawn, ready to get this whole thing off her mind, if for only a little bit.





        Willow’s DTs had been going a little better since the start, every week the cramps got less and less and the urge to do spells was defiantly not that bad, she was actually able to go out and do things now, though she didn’t, she only went out to get food.

        After doing some research, she found the perfect place to go for the time being, the mid west, “Yeah, there isn’t anything out there but corn and horses, oh wait horses, not a good idea, I’ll just go to a small city with no horses,” she was able to secure a job with the Williams Oil Company as a computer specialist, then with the money her parents kept giving her, she was able to get a small house for herself, she was leaving today, leaving Sunnydale and leaving Tara, she wanted to call her and tell she was all right and that she would be fine, but knew she couldn’t.

        So she packed her bags and called a cab to come pick her up, then waited, when the cab got to her house she loaded her belongings in and told the driver to take her to the bus station.

        She had to go down Revello Drive to get to the bus station, the all to familiar street pleaded with her to not do this, but she knew she had to, she saw a couple of people walking down the street laughing, she thought of all the times her and Tara had done the same thing, then she noticed who the person was, it wa Tara! with Dawn! she didn’t know if she could take seeing her right now, so she tried to look the other way, but couldn’t take her eyes off of Tara, then Tara looked up as if she had sensed willow and there eyes connected, Tara froze in her place and just stared at the passing car

        “Umm, Tara, you okay?” Dawn asked as she waved her hand in front of the shocked blonde.

        “Willow,” was all she could manage before she fainted.

        “Oh god,” Dawn yelled as she caught the falling girl and tried to support her.

        Luckily Willow hadn’t seen the fainting, or she wouldn’t have been able to go through with this and would have ran into the arms of her love, but she knew she had to do this, it was the most important thing right now.

        “I have to get through this,” she said to herself as the pulled into the sunnydale bus station, she thanked and paid the driver, then bought her ticket to Findlay, Ohio, ‘this it it she’ thought as she got on the bus ‘this is my life now.’



Hope you like, please give feedback

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

Edited by: Footman311  at: 1/24/04 7:03 am

Hi there



I love stories about Willow and Tara getting back together



I just thought it was a little weird the way Willow handled her moving out of the house... the harsh words she said to Tara and the way she pushed Tara physically away... it didn't strike me as something Willow would do.



But you probably have a reason to have Willow acting in such a cold manner and I'm curious to see more of this story

---

"I know I was born and I know that I'll die.

The in between is mine.

I am mine!" - Pearl Jam

Hey all sorry if any of you read this first part and found it a little harsh for the Willow Tara relationship, I didn't mean to offend any one and I'm sorry if I have, so there is a rough road a head, but it was the nicest way I could get all this to happen in the hurricane that is my brain, but don't worry angst will end very soon

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

I wasn't offended at all, if anything...I applaud your ability to write angst the way you do because I can't seem to do the same, I'm more of a sap kind of writer. But I'll stick around to see what happens. I agree that it seems a bit out of character but it's fanfiction, anything can happen and hope things get resolved for our favorite girls. Pretty good start.



-Renee-

"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed." -J. Krishnamurti

interesting.. continue please..

Thanks guys for all the feedback it was much apprieciated.



Here is the first part of chapter 2



Author Name: Beamer311

Email: Beamer2131@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of it, only borrowing, Joss and Me own it all

Pairing: W/T of course

Spoilers: Up through “Tabula Rasa” then goes AU

Summary: AU where instead of Tara leaving at the end of “Tabula Rasa” Willow does, she then leaves Sunnydale until she is sure she can face any of the scoobies again.

Feedback: It would be much appreciated, I will try to reply to all I can

**Thoughts in single quote**

Note: I know that I’m jumping ahead a little but I’ll do my best to explain what happened to the scoobies in that time.



Two years later....



        It had been two long years for Willow since she had left her life in Sunnydale and came to the midwest, it was cold during the winter, she didn’t enjoy that very much, and the humidity in the summer was horrible, but hey, she made some good money.

        She had met Ben on her first day at her new job, he was her partner/boss so to speak, he taught her about the procedure and showed her what she would be dealing with at her new job, she also found him to be a very friendly and understanding person, in a town where she knew barely anyone he washer best friend.

        They would just hang out most nights, since the only entertainment in the town at night was the yuppie or hippie respective coffee shops, where the consumers were more wannabes then actually making a politcal statement.

        They would talk about what Willow had come for, she left out the whole magic addiction thing, not wanting to lose the only person in the town that actually payed any attention to her, about their love lives, the whole Tara thing, how much Willow missed her and how she wanted to go back to her.

        Willow had felt horrible for the things she had said and done to Tara that night, she couldn’t bare to hurt her and that hurt Willow almost as much as it hurt Tara, so she wrote her a letter when she had a stopover in Nebraska, it was plain, no return address, and it was how she felt at that particular moment.

       

        Tara My Love,

        Nothing in the world could feel as bad as I do right now for what I said to you that night, I have no excuse for actions and I hope that at some time you can forgive me. I don’t want to leave you, but I feel that the temptation in Sunnydale is just too much for me, I want to get better, for my friends and family and most of all, for you. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I want you to know what you are the only one for me, and that I won’t ever love another person, I guess I can only hope that you will accept me when I come back.

        Love,

        Your Willow



        She sent that letter with tears in her eyes, only hoping that Tara would get it.

        Her job at the Williams Oil company was going well, she was making good money for doing “An hours worth of real work a day” as Ben had put it her first day on the job, but now she moving once again, but this time she wasn’t away from something, she was returning to her real home, to Sunnydale.

        Ben had approached her with the idea over a year before they decided to do it, start their own computer speacilazation firm, where they could do free lance work for big corporation and “corner the market in a small town” as Ben had said, he just didn’t know a town where they could do it, so Willow gave him the idea, they researched, and found a simple office in the downtown area where they could set up shop, Ben then found a suitable one story house to move into, very cheap, so instead of wasting money on seperate apartments, they moved in together, so to save money for the buisness.

        They were now moving, Willow was downtown with the owner of the office building finalizing the details of their lease, while Ben was at the closing of thier new home, when he pulled up the realator was waiting for him.

        He scanned the nieghborhood, “Revello Drive” he saod to himself, “A nice place.” He looked around, kids were playing in the streets people were out taking walks, and there were two women sitting on the porch across the street, two blondes, a shorter one and a taller one, the taller one seamed familiar like he had seen her before.

        He walked into the house to complete the closing, then he could get to work with the office, he wanted to get it setup as soon as possible, money was on the way, he could feel it.





        Tara had gotten Willow’s letter, it was still sitting on her dresser along with the other belongings that Willow had never took with her, though now the ink was running because of the many nights she had weped and cried while reading it, wondering why Willow had decided to leave her, why she couldn’t have stayed to get help from her family.

        Life had been going well for Tara, she had graduated with a degree in education and was an English teacher at the new Sunnydale High. though young, the students loved her and she loved her job.

        Buffy had gotten a job as a councilour at the school so she could keep an eye on the place and work close to Tara, she didn;t like the idea of one of her closest friends working on the hellmouth.

        Dawn was in her first year at UC Sunnydale, she ahd gotten really into computers when Willow had left, and had often missed her, she could have used her help with some things, but she thought that Willow had done the right thing in leaving, she had screwed up and needed to find herself before she found her family again.

        Thats how it had gone for a good amount of time, Tara didn;t do anything at night just stayed home and looked at Willow’s picture, Willow had dome the same on countless nights back east.

        The vamps kept coming, Buffy kept saving the world, Willow got off the magic completely and Dawn had become just as avid a computer geek as Willow.



        “New neighbors,” Buffy said as her and Tara sat on the porch swing watching a tall dark hiared young man get out of his car and talk to a woman who was waiting inside the house for him.

        “Yeah,” Tara said as she stared into space, “maybe he won’t disappear like the last one, you know that mysterious neck rupture,” she said looking with a smile to Buffy.

        “Yeah, maybe we should go introduce ourselves,” Buffy said as she looked over to Tara.

        “I’m sure we’ll haev time to do that later,” Tara said as she leaned back on the swing and it started a gentle rocking motion.

        “School starts tomarrow,” Buffy said looking over to the blonde wiccan again.

        “Yeah, I know, don’t remind me,” she said, though she loved her job, it wasn’t fun waking up early to go to school, she thought she was past that phase.

        “Oh look there he goes,” Buffy said as the nee neighbor got in his car and sped away.

        “Yeah, well I guess we’ll have to put off the introduction till later.” Tara said as she watched the car drive away.



I hope to have the next part up by tomarrow

thanks for reading

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

hey footman311, great fic. I wonder if the woman inside the house was Willow Anyway can't wait till the next update hope its soon

hey, great start. i'm really liking this fic. hoping to read more

:::cough:::SOON:::cough:::

anywhoo, great job

Author Name: Beamer311

Email: Beamer2131@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of it, only borrowing, Joss and Me own it all

Pairing: W/T of course

Spoilers: Up through “Tabula Rasa” then goes AU

Summary: AU where instead of Tara leaving at the end of “Tabula Rasa” Willow does, she then leaves Sunnydale until she is sure she can face any of the scoobies again.

Feedback: It would be much appreciated, I will try to reply to all I can

**Thoughts in single quote**

Note: I know that I’m jumping ahead a little but I’ll do my best to explain what happened to the scoobies in that time.



Chapter 2b



        Willow had spent the better part of the day listening to the building owner ramble on about how to handle this building with care. Finally, she had got him to leave so that the movers could get the new desks and filing cabinets in. Ben had said he would be over as soon as he had closed the house, the house she hadn’t even seen yet.

        “You handle the office, I’ll handle the house,” Ben had said over and over again. She didn’t know why she finally agreed to it. Ben would probably get some crappie run down shack that he thought would save them a ton of money, sometimes his money hungary attitude reminded her of Anya.

        “All done at our new digs,” Ben said as he walked into the office where Willow was sitting in a folding chair, still waiting for the movers to get there.

        “Still got a long way to go here,” she laughed as he sat down a little folding chair opposite him.

        “Gonna have to bring in a cd player,” Ben said as he looked over a Willow and smiled.

        “Goddess,” Willow said as she looked at him and laughed again, “I don’t know if I could stand listening to your music for another five hours.”

        “Hey,” he said as he stood up defensively, “at least it’s better than that whiney crybaby crap you listen to,” he said in mock anger as Willow burst out laughing.

        Just as Willow had composed herself again, the moving truck came up.

        “Our stuff is here,” Ben said as he went to open the door and greet the movers. He was telling them where they wanted all of the stuff when Willow heard some hammering in the office next door.

        “Excuse me,” Willow said to one of the movers, “umm, do you know how long the work is going to be on the office next door?”

        “Sorry lady,” the mover said as he lowered a desk onto the floor, “but you could go over there and ask them.”

        “Okay,” Willow said as she walked out the door. She walked into the adjacent office building to see what was going on.

        “Hey, how long are you guys gonna be..,” Willow trailed off when she saw who the man leading the construction crew was.

        “Willow!” Xander cried out as he saw his oldest friend for the first time in two years, “Where have you been,” he said as he walked over and hugged her.

        “Hey Xander,” Willow said, happy to see a familiar face in her old town, “umm, well, it’s a long story, can I tell you over a cup of coffee.”

        “Sure, hey want me to call Buffy and Tara,” Xander said as she walked out the door.

        “No,” Willow responded quickly. “I mean it’s been awhile and I don’t want to let them know I’m here just yet.”

        “Umm, sure,” Xander said as they walked next door.

        “I just have to tell Ben where I’m gonna be,” she said as she walked into her new office.

        “Who’s Ben?” Xander said as he approached them.

        “I am,” Ben said as he walked up to Xander and shook his hand. “Whose this? an old friend?”

        “Yeah,” Willow said as she grabbed Xander and headed out, “we’re going to go catch up I’ll be back in a little while.”

        “Sure whatever,” Ben said as he went about telling the movers where he wanted stuff.





        Willow was telling Xander about her past two years, all of her time was mostly taken up by buisness, so she didn’t really have much to say.

        “And that was my past two years,” she said as she looked up at Xander. “How is she?”

        Xander knew who she was talking about, “Tara’s good, she got a job as a teacher at the new high school and she seems to be happy,” he said as he stared back at her.

        “That’s good,” she said as she looked back at her drink, she thought happy meant with someone else, though she didn’t really expect anything less, Tara was the most beautiful person on the planet and she could have easily found someone else.

        “She misses you,” Xander said as Willow looked back up at him with a glimpse of hope in her eyes.

        “Really?” she said as Xander nodded his head. “Umm, could you not tell them I’m back yet, I mean I really want to see them all again, but so many memories and stories and I don’t want to have to see them all again and that would mean that I would have to relive all that again, and I just don’t think that I’m ready for that,” she babbled

        “Okay,” Xander laughed as they got up and started to walk back, “but I don’t know how long I’m gonna be able to keep you in hiding.”

        “It won’t be that long,” Willow said as she turned to the door of her office and hugged Xander again.





        Ben and Willow had got the office set up in a short amount of time, there for got to go home earlier, which appeased Willow because she really didn’t want to be out very late in Sunnydale without any protection.

        “So where is this house,” Willow said as they turned onto Revello Drive, she got nervous at the thought of seeing her best friends house.

        “It’s right up here,” he said pointing to the house right across from the slayers.

        “Oh man,” she said before she realized she had said it.

        “What?” Ben questioned back.

        “Umm, nothing,” she said nervously, “let’s just go see this new house, hehe,” she laughed nervously.

        “Okay,” he said as he got out of the car and they walked up to the house, “why do you have your hood on?”





        Across the street Buffy looked out the window when she heard her new neighbors car come into the drive way.

        “Neighbors are back,” Buffy said as she turned to Tara who was staring at the TV aimlessly. “And one of them is wearing a hood, that’s weird.”

        “Yeah sure,” Tara said as she keep her gaze on the TV, or the picture of Willow that was on top of it.

        “Well when they get home tomorrow we are going over to introduce ourselves,” the slayer said as she put her coat on to go out for patrol.

       







        It was much later now, Buffy was walking into her house, when she turned to look back at the house across from them, she felt like something big was going to happen, but she didn’t know what it was. She went into the house, she had to get rested for her first day of school.

        When the slayer was out of his sight a figure emerged from the house across the street, he walked onto the sidewalk and down the street.

        “I’ve worked for two years to get them back together,” Ben said as he turned to enter one of Sunnydale’s many cemeteries. “I’m so close, I’m not going to let anything stand in the way.”



Ok, that's all I have for now, hope to ahve mroe soon.

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

yay!!an update

great chapter hope to read more.

and gonna get together soon i hope. hint hint nudge nudge, lol.

Just wanted to let you know that I really like your story.

Oh no, cliffhanger. Great update. Can't wait till the next one

Cutie Pie: Thanks for your interest, Don’t worry Willow and Tara will be together very soon within the next few chapters



Imjustme: Thanks for reading my fic



mxgirl314: Yeah, I love to leave people hanging next update will be soon



Hey yall, I’m also writing my other fic A Gift From Above, if you could give that a read and leave some feedback it would be great. Any ways, I’ve been listening to Blood Brothers and writing down ideas for the past few hours and I should have an update soon.

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

Author Name: Beamer311

Email: Beamer2131@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of it, only borrowing, Joss and Me own it all

Pairing: W/T of course

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through “Tabula Rasa” then goes AU

Summary: AU where instead of Tara leaving at the end of “Tabula Rasa” Willow does, she then leaves Sunnydale until she is sure she can face any of the scoobies again.

Feedback: It would be much appreciated, I will try to reply to all I can

**Thoughts in single quote**





Chapter 3



        It was 6:30 in the morning, Willow was just getting used to California time again, but she still didn’t want to get up until she knew she would have to. Instead, she was just laying in bed, when she knew she should be getting up.

        Downstairs, Ben knew that Willow wouldn’t get up, but luckily he knew how to get her up. Grabbing his cd holder he went to the stereo, and grabbed his Blood Brothers ‘Burn Piano Island Burn’ cd. He knew Willow hated them, but it could wake anyone up. He put it on ‘Cecilia and the Siluiette Saloon’ his favorite song, and let it blare, if it didn’t wake up Willow, the rest of the street would be pissed.

        As the guitar and yelling started Willow grew very angry that she was being waken up, even though they would have to be at the office in an hour, she could still get another fifteen minutes, plus the longer she stayed in bed, the longer she could be sure she wouldn’t be spotted by anyone across the street.

        Not being able to take the music a second more she got up and went downstairs.

        “I’m up!,” she yelled as Ben turned down the music laughing.

        “C’mon your the one that wanted to get a early start on the day,” he said as he went to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

       

        After Willow was done getting ready, she got a cup of coffee and joined Ben who was now sitting on the couch watching the morning news.

        “Boy there sure are a lot of strange deaths in this place,” he said as the news anchor talked about some more neck rupture deaths in the small town.

        “Yeah,” Willow said with a small grin, “you’ll get a lot of those in this place.”

        “Well, I hope I don’t become one,” Ben said as he got up. “Okay, let’s go.”

        Willow got up and followed him out the door, watching the house across the street to make sure that no one saw her just yet, she wanted to come to them, to have a chance to explain herself without them saying she was hiding.



        First day of school, it wasn’t the favorite day of anyone there, but everyone went to their classes and the teachers taught their students regardless of the day.

        Buffy found the first day relaxing, barely any students came in on this day, most didn’t want to get into trouble on the first day.

        She’d had one kid that reminded her of Larry, the football jock, before he came out. He was really weird and rude, Buffy felt like asking him if he was gay, but decided against it, she didn’t want to get fired.

        Tara was enjoying he first day, she had talked to some of her past students and was getting to know a few of her new ones. She was in the middle of her third period class when an announcement came on.

        “Excuse me students, faculty, and staff,” Principle Woods voice came on the PA system. “This is Principal Woods, we seem to be having a problem with some of our computers, so Mrs. Johnson and Miss Maclay a technician will be in your rooms at some point during the day working on this.”

        “Great,” Tara said, she didn’t enjoy computers, especially since Willow had left, they just brought back memories.

       





        Ben and Willow were now sitting at their desk hard at work, they hadn’t expected to get any business on their first day, but someone must have put the word out that they were good with computers, because they had already gotten a contract with a big company out of LA to make a new security program. As they were hard at work writing lines of code, the phone rang.

        “Trekker Computer Specialists,” Ben answered, he named the company after a coffee shop he used to go to, “Umm sure I can come take a look,” he said hanging up and grabbing his gear.

        “Where you going,” Willow asked looking up.

        “High School computer system went down,” he said grabbing his tool box, “They want me to come take a look.”

        “Have fun,” Willow laughed

        “Yeah, I will when I over charge them on the bill,” he said walking out the door.



        It was now Tara’s lunch period and she and Buffy were sitting in her room eating, Tara usually would have gone out, but she was told ot stay and wait for the computer guy to come look at the problem.

        Just as her and Buffy had started to talk about how their days had been so far, Ben walked in to take a look at the computers.

        “Hi ladies,” he said walked over to them, “I’m Ben, just here to check your computers.”

        Ben went about going over things, he then had a janitor bring in a ladder and he went up to the ceiling and removed one of the tiles, then took a look at the problem.

        “Damn wires are reading,” he said as he got no voltage off of them. Slowly he licked his fingers and touched one of the wires, “Ow god damnit,” he yelled as a spark shot at him.

        “Are you okay?” Buffy asked getting up to see what was going on.

        “Yeah,” he said as he got a reading off of the wires now. “It’s all perfect.”

        “What was wrong?” Tara asked as he came down the ladder.

        “Wires were cold, needed a spark, the person that did this system was very bad, they didn’t hook up the converters right so the wires weren’t getting enough voltage.” he explained as he put his stuff back in his tool box and gathered up all of his stuff. “If anything happens again just call me.”

       

        The rest of the day went pretty normally, Tara taught, Buffy concealed, and Willow typed.

        It was now five o’clock and Buffy was dragging Tara across the street to meet their new neighbors.

        “C’mon Tara, we have to be nice to them,” Buffy said as they walked across the street. “I mean what if they don’t know anybody, we can’t just let them go friendless in this place.”

        They went up to the door and knocked then waited for someone to answer the door.



        “Will could you get that?” Ben yelled from upstairs, “I’m sorta busy,”

        “Sure,” Willow said as she got up to answer the door, “What are you doing up there any way you’ve been up there for like half an hour,”

        “Nothing,” he yelled down the stairs. “I’m just to lazy to get up,”

        Willow laughed as she heard his response, she then opened the door to see two familiar blondes staring back at her.

        “Ahhh!,” Willow yelled at her best friend and ex-lover, then shut the door.

        “Willow?” was all Buffy got out before the door closed again, she was stunned and then turned to see Tara, she was standing there with a small smile on her face, but her eyes were turning red and puffy like she would burst into tears at any moment. “Willow!,” Buffy yelled as she pounded the door again. “Open this door right now Willow Rosenberg.”

        Inside the house Willow was just sitting back against the door, she knew this was inevitable, but she didn’t want to meet them for the first time in two years like this.

        “Okay Willow,” she said to herself as she stood up, “You can do this, even if they hate you, you can do this.” she stood up and opened the door for the second time. “H-hey Buffy, long time no see huh?” she said laughing nervously.

        Buffy lunged forward and gripped Willow in a hug.

        “God I missed you so much,” she said as she about suffocated her best friend

        “Buffy, in two years you’ve only gotten stronger,” Willow chocked out as Buffy released her.

        “Sorry, I just missed you so much,” the slayer said as she stepped back, so Willow could see Tara better.

        “H-hey Tara,” Willow said before she looked down, not being able to meet the blonde wiccans eyes. “Umm, you guys want to come in?” she asked moving aside so they could step in.

        They all moved in as Ben stared to walk down the stairs, he was still tired from the nap he had just took and he stumbled when he saw the guests.

        “We have company?” he said moving to where everyone was sitting.

        “O yeah, Buffy and Tara this is Ben, Ben this is Buffy and Tara,” she said introducing them.

        “Oh we already know each other,” he said looking the two women over again. “They were at the school today when I went to fix the problem.”

        “Will, I don’t mean to be pushy,” Buffy said as she talked to her friend, “But, where the hell have you been for the past two years?”

        “Oh you know,” Willow said as she caught a glimpse of Tara’s beautiful blue eyes. “Ohio, working for an oil company.”

        “Why didn’t you call?” Buffy asked her wondering why her friend wanted to be so distant from her family.

        “I, uh, didn’t want to, uh, you know, worry you guys about how I was, so I just kinda felt like this was the best way for me to do it,” Willow got through the speech without looking at Tara, but once she did, she saw the hurt in her eyes that Willow caused and the anguish that Tara was going through.

        “Well, all's we did was worry about you more,” were the first words Tara spoke, she knew she would have to speak some time, but wanted was afraid at how Willow would react to her, hopefully it wouldn’t be like the last time.

        “I’m sorry,” Willow said as she turned to Tara and gazed at her beauty for the first time in too long, “I didn’t want to leave, but you know that I needed to get away from all the temptation.”

        Ben was looking a little uncomfortable now, he didn’t know what he was hearing and was a little scared by it.

        “Hey, Ben,” Buffy said noticing his uneasiness. “Why don’t we let these two catch up, and we’ll get to know each other a little better.” she said grabbing him and taking him out the door.

        When the two had left, Willow sat down and tried to start things out lightly with her love.

        “So, I hear your a teacher now,” she said remembering what Xander had said.

        “Yeah,” was all Tara got out before she became to flustered to speak and started to cry.

        “Oh baby,” Willow said running over to the blonde. “I’m sorry I’m so sorry about what I told you that night and not calling or anything, I just didn’t want to think that I was of somewhere doing all the magic I could and telling you I was fine, I wanted to get better and come back, which is what I am, I haven’t done a single spell since that night.”

        Willow was now cradling the sobbing blonde and stroking her hair

        “I-I-I j-j-juse t-t-t-thought that y-you d-d-dind’t l-love m-me anymore,” Tara got out cursing her stutter.

        “No baby, I could never stop loving you, your my everything,” the red head said as she raised Tara’s head to meet her gaze. Tara caught sight of the emerald eyes she had missed so much, and did the only thing she could think of, she caught Willow lips in a fiery kiss, one that seemed to last forever.

        Willow was caught off guard by the kiss, but wasn’t going to let that stop her, she kissed Tara back with passion for what she thought was an eternity. Finally, they pulled apart and gazed at each other again.

        “Did you get my letter?” Willow asked wanting to know if her writing hadn’t been in vain.

        “Yes,” Tara said softly, “you can’t read it that well any more though, because I cried on it so many times.”

        “I’m sorry I put you through all that,” Willow said kissing Tara’s forehead lightly.

        “It’s okay,” Tara said looking up at Willow, “Umm, you want to go get something to eat, all this emotion has kinda made me hungary.”

        “Sure I’d love that,” Willow said as she helped her former and hopefully present lover up to her feet.



        Ben and Buffy had walked around for a while then ended up at the bronze, they talked about what Willow had done in Ohio and other things about themselves.

        They had ended up out till around midnight, walking back to their houses, they noticed a light on in Buffy’s house.

        “That’s strange, nobody supposed to be home,” Buffy said.

        “Maybe Tara went home to get some rest,” Ben said looking over to his house and seeing no lights.

        “Well, she's the kind of anal retentive person that hates it when you leave a light on,” Buffy said as they approached her door.

        “Well, then I’ll go in with you to check it out,” Ben said as they got to the door and found it unlocked. As they walked into the house they were bombarded by a round of moans coming from upstairs.

        “Oh my god!,” Buffy yelled as she ran out of the house.

        “Well I guess they made up,” Ben said laughing.





        It was later now, Willow and Tara were snuggled up together asleep in their room again.

        Buffy had finally been able to go back to the house and get some rest.

        Ben was walking down an alley, he sensed the magic in the air, high powered dark magic's, a dealer. He walked through the wall to the waiting room and then straight into casting room where Rack was in the middle of a spell.

        “Who are you,” Rack said looking at the man, nothing big he thought, no power, I’ll just kill him.

        “I’m here in regards to Willow Rosenberg’s return,” he said

        “Was that the red headed witch that got the better of that hell god last year,” Rack said he had wanted to meet her for some time, teach her about true power and how to use it to feel so great.

        “Yes, that was her,” Ben said as he walked a little closer to Rack. “Well, she has moved back to Sunnydale and is spell free right now, and I have been sent to make sure that people like you don;t screw this up.”

        “What are you gonna do,” Rack said as he got ready to deliver a blow of energy that would kill any normal person ten times. It hit Ben square in the chest, then just absorbed into him, his eyes turned green and he changed into a warrior, an ax was produced out of thin air and he cut Rack clean in half, then absorbed all of his magic's into an orb.

        “Gonna need this,’ he said as he walked out of the room and back into the alley.



Gonna try to explain more about what all is going on in the next chapter.

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

Edited by: Footman311  at: 1/24/04 4:40 pm

Author Name: Beamer311

Email: Beamer2131@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of it, only borrowing, Joss and Me own it all

Pairing: W/T of course

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through “Tabula Rasa” then goes AU

Summary: AU where instead of Tara leaving at the end of “Tabula Rasa” Willow does, she then leaves Sunnydale until she is sure she can face any of the scoobies again.

Feedback: It would be much appreciated, I will try to reply to all I can

**Thoughts in single quote**



Chapter 4



        Tara was the first to wake, she let her eyes flutter open immediately for the first time since her love had left her. When she adjusted her eyes she saw her ed headed beauty laying there snuggled up with her. She felt so right, she at peace, like she could never move, and didn’t really want to even if she could.

        It was minutes before she realized what had woken her up in the first place, her alarm clock was beeping rather loudly. She turned over and hit the snooze button, she definitely needed it after last night.

        Last night, she thought was the most amazing night ever, she had had some great times with Willow before, but never like last night. It was like an unattached primal need to have her, and neither of them could stop it.

        “Mmmm,” was the first sound she heard from her lover that morning, the soft groan escaped the red head as she opened her eyes to greet her once again girlfriend.

        “Hey sweetie,” Tara said as she leaned down and kissed Willow.

        “This is how I like to start a day,” Willow said after Tara had kissed her, she leaned in and kissed her again.

        “I wish we could stay like this forever,” Tara said as she began to untangle her self from Willow. “But, I have to work today, and they don’t like it when I leave students to do whatever they feel,” the blonde wiccan said with a smile.

        “Yeah,” Willow said as she finally let Tara go. “I have to go over to my house and get ready, Ben’s probably worried about what I am doing right now,” she said with a laugh.

        “But I’ll see you when you get home right?” Tara said as she walked over to Willow and out her arms around her waist.

        “Of course,” Willow said as she kissed Tara, then rested her forehead on Tara’s. “I’ll be right over.”

       



        “Hey Ben,” Willow yelled as she ran into her house and up the stairs. “Sorry, I was over at Tara’s all night, I’ll be ready in a minute.”

        Ben could only laugh as the red head ran into her room, then down the hall into the bathroom, then five minutes later back out of the bathroom, then while running back to her room, she tripped and fell flat on her face. Ben laughed as he walked over to help her up.

        “You know,” he said as she took his hand and got up to her feet. “You keep doing stuff like this you won’t be able to go over and see your girl later, I’ll have to call her from the hospital. Just take it easy, its not like we have a boss or anything, no one’s going to care if we’re a little late.”

        “I know, I know,” she said as she ran down the hall again and grabbed her laptop case and back pack. “But, the quicker we get to work, the quicker we close and the faster I get to see Tara.”

        The two headed down the stairs and out the door, then over to Ben’s car. When Willow was about to get in, she saw Tara and Buffy getting into their Jeep, Willow couldn’t stop herself, she dumped her stuff into the car and took off on a dead sprint, only stopping when she had claimed Tara’s lips with her own.

        “Sorry, I just wanted to have one more to get me through the day,” Willow said as she turned bright red when Buffy raised her eye brow.

        “Don’t be sorry,” Tara said as she grabbed Willow’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “And I’m gonna need more than one to get me through the day,” she said as she drew Willow back down to her, and gave her another long kiss.

        “Sorry to interrupt this great scene,” Buffy said as the two reluctantly drew apart. “But, unless you want to get us fired Tara, we need to get a move on.”

        Willow gave her goodbyes, along with a few more kisses to Tara and walked back across the street to the car.

        “Done?” Ben asked as he turned to the red head, whose face was now as red as her hair.

        “Let’s go to work,” willow said wanted to escape the embarrassment of her business partners jokes.

        Ben turned on the radio, when as chance would have it, 311’s new cover of the Urge’s ‘Love Song’ came on, Willow couldn’t help but thing this song was written just for her and Tara at that moment.



        “Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am home again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am young again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am fun again”



        She wasn’t a huge fan of cover songs, or 311 in general, but she did like this song, it was so fitting for what was going on in her life.



        “However far away

I will always love you

However long I stay

I will always love you

Whatever words I say

I will always love you

I will always love you”



        “I will always love you,” she sang along with the song, she was thinking of Tara the entire time, she didn’t even notice that they were now parked outside the office, it should have taken longer to get there, but Ben was driving rather insanely. He turned off the car much to the red heads dismay.

        “Hey, I was listening to that,” she cried out as he got out of the car.

        “Relax,” he said as he went to the trunk and grabbed his back pack and laptop case, “I’ve got it on cd.”



        The day went all to slowly for the red head, she kept her self somewhat busy my working on the new security system for that company out of LA, the only real business that they were getting, but it was a lot of money for not a whole lot of work, to them at least.

        Willow would work for about half an hour, then think about Tara for 45 minutes, then go back to work, all the time listening to ‘Love Song’ on her headphones, she just loved the song now, couldn’t stop from singing it out whenever she thought about Tara.



        Tara’s day hadn't gone any faster, she had spaced out during her first second and eighth period class thinking about Willow, and when she would get to see her again.

        She was told by her students that she looked like she was completely stoned, and two of her students tried to score some pot off of her after class, but after she convinced them that she wasn’t a pot head and if they asked that question again she would send them to the principal she was left alone.

        “You look way to happy for being at school,” Buffy said walking into Tara’s room, it was now ninth period, which she had free. “Your looking very smug, it wouldn’t happen to a certain red head that your thinking about would it?”

        “I can’t stop thinking about her,” Tara said as she smiled once again at the thought of seeing her love once again. “And I get to see her after school is out!” she screamed, two other teachers were walking by the room at the moment and stopped to look in and make sure that every thing was okay.

        “Sorry,” she said as the two teachers continued walking to their destination.



        Willow was sitting in the passengers seat of Ben’s car willing him to drive faster then he already was.

        “C’mon, I need to get home now!” she screamed as she slammed her foot on top of his jamming the already floored accelerator down and giving them more speed.

        “Hey,” Ben said as he maneuvered through an intersection, almost running a red light and clipping another car. “When you get your license you can go 80 in a 35, but until then lets keep it to 70, I don’t want to being going to fast you know.”

        They reached their house in record time, willow immedialty jumped out of the car and rushed over to the slayers house, she hopped up the stairs and ran right into the house without even a knock. When she got through the door she turned and saw Buffy and Tara sitting and talking in the living room.

        “Hi,” was all a breathless Willow could get out.

        “Hey sweetie,” Tara said getting up and wrapping her arms around her love, then kissing her lightly. “How was your day?” she asked as she walked Willow over to the couch and sat her down.

        “Oh you know,” the hacker said as she tried to catch her breath, “I did some typing and wrote some code, thought about you,” she said as she smiled up at the blonde.

        “Oh your so sweet,” Tara said kissing the red head again.

        “Hey we were just about to get something to eat,” Buffy chimed in, breaking the gaze the two women were in. “You want to come with?”

        “Umm, sure,” Willow said as she got up. “Let me just go tell Ben where I’ll be.”

        “Why don’t you invite him too,” Buffy said as she stood up. “Don’t want him hanging around all day by himself.”

       



        The four had gone to the local italian restaurant and had a great time, they’d learned a lot more about Ben and what he was all about, what Willow had done in Ohio, and what the two blondes had done in Sunnydale. They were now driving home in the Summers’ Jeep, when a group of vampires jumped them at a stop sign, they ripped open the doors and broke the windows.

        Ben was thrown to the ground, he was trying to keep up the act of being just a regular person and not an all powerful demon.

        Buffy was now fighting one of the three vamps that had jumped them, she had connected with a round house to the face and a right hook to the jaw, then got him with a stake to the chest, sending him to dust.

        She then went to work on another, the third had taken Tara and was trying to get to her neck, Willow was trying to fight him off of her but couldn’t, that’s when Ben felt it, the energy in Willow again, the anger rising in her, he knew he couldn’t let it get to her.

        He jumped up, his eyes now completely green, and ripped the vamp clean off of the blonde, she fell into Willow’s arms.

        Buffy had just finished the second vamp and was running over to see the third one, but instead found it being thrown around by Ben, she couldn’t believe it. He picked it up and kicked it clean across the road, then ran over and picked it up in a choke hold, finally he squeezed the neck of the demon until it popped, and the vamps head exploded clean off the body, turning it to dust.

        “What the hell was that?” an amazed Buffy looked on.





Hey all this may be the last post that I put out for a while, I kinda just got out of the hospital for a case of exhaustion, I had a show with my band on Saturday, that ended up lasting over 3 hours, then I played five hours of hockey on Sunday, needless to say I was little tired when I passed out passing my own blue line, any how, feel much better now, but I’ve been put on bed rest and have to do as little as possible, so I don’t know how much typing time I’ll get.

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum