November Rain, AU

[Shadow]

NOVEMBER RAIN



By: SHADOW



This is completely AU, and Willow is about 18, Tara is 19. There are no Willow and Tara in first couple of chapters, and there will be a lot of angst before we get there but we are going to get there cause I'm a big sucker for Will and Tara happy endings. Who isn't?

This is one of the popular Willow-is-gay-but-Tara' s-not-so-sure stories and I hope you will like it cause Kittens' feedback is more welcomed then Nobel Prize. So pretty please on feedback!!!!!!!!!!!



This is for Sparky, thank you for thinking I'm special. I truly must be when I have you as a friend. Kiss ya. Hug ya. Love ya.



PART 1



Willow was exhausted. And that was mildly put. The truth was, she was dying to get some sleep. She’d spent the whole day on the beach with her two best friends, Buffy and Xander and they’d had a blast. The water was just the right temperature for you to actually be refreshed by and to not freeze or boil in it. The sun was just as hot as always. That thought made Willow smile ‘cuz only she could think of something as silly as that. They’d played volleyball (ok, Buffy and Xander played, she just mostly jumped around), ate ice cream… they’d had so much fun. And right now they were on the bus that was taking them home.

Just as they were passing by the local video store Willow suddenly stopped feeling so exhausted. Earlier that summer she’d gone with Xander to the video store and they were trying to agree on which movie they were going to watch when a girl entered the store. She had lovely blonde hair, which was a bit longer then shoulder length, and stunning blue eyes. For a moment, she’d locked eyes with Willow before she said hello to the lady behind the counter. Willow had been lost, still feeling the girl’s stare on her skin, as if the girl had actually touched her. That was it. That was the moment when Willow was finally sure, after two years of considering, that she was gay. And the blonde girl was the loveliest creature that ever walked the earth.

That was two months ago and Willow felt frustrated. Later that week she’d found out that the girl was now working in the video store. So, Willow had locked all of her much loved books in the closet and started going to the video store every single day, just so she could gaze at the blonde goddess for a couple of minutes. Still she couldn’t force herself to actually say something. Then everything changed when she’d walked in one day and found the girl complaining to other girl that looked a lot like her. Willow had figured it must be her sister. Probably her younger sister. The blonde was very sad.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tape it!”

“Sorry! I fell asleep.”

“But it’s Dark Angel! How can you forget to tape it, or for that matter WATCH it?”

Willow smiled to herself. That was it! She taped every singled episode of Dark Angel; so she’d just give the tape to the girl.

So she did just that next day. She’d slowly walked in the store and said hello, and just as she was about to bail and walk away, the blonde turned towards her.

“Hey, do you wanna rent Moulin Rouge? I remember you asking for it last week. That guy finally returned it.”

She remembered me! She remembered what I wanted to watch! Almost forgetting where she was, Willow had wanted to do Xander’s Snoopy dance.

“Sure. Thanks. And, I brought this for you.”She slowly raised her arm and gave the girl the tape. “It’s Dark Angel. I overheard you talking to your sister yesterday. I’m a big fan. I even have the first season on DVD.”

“Thanks. I can’t believe this! No one ever did anything like this for me before. Thank you.”

And that was the beginning. Soon they were chatting like old friends and she found out the girl’s name was Tara. Tara Maclay. My Goddess, Willow thought.

Edited by: Shadow at: 6/18/03 1:59 pm

[foreverpiper]

ooh, i'm liking this! i love these kinda fics!! Cant wait for the next part! woo hoo!

And never let it be said that I left a Tara craving unsatisfied. - Willow in Wilderness

[xita]

Yeah, I am a big sucker for this kind of fic as well! Willow has the friend thing down with Tara, but Tara's not so sure eh? Good start, I look forward to more.

-----------------------------------
Leora......Leora....

[Shadow]

Thank you guys... er Kittens for feedback. Here comes Part 2. Be warned- Willow will find out something really bad... but no need for worry...





PART 2



Something beeped and Willow almost jumped out of her skin. Chuckling slightly, she reached for her cell.

“1 message received? Who could that be?” Slowly she pushed the read button and sighed when she saw it was Buffy. She really hoped it would be Tara.

“No Buffy, I do not want to go out. I really want to see my blue-eyed goddess, but I can’t. Cause, when I see her I just want to jump her and kiss the life out of her.”

Talking to herself she wrote a message for Buffy and sent it. Throwing her cell on the pillow, she turned back to her laptop.

Then she froze, and turned back to the cell. “I could just… send her something.” Looking at the cell as though it was going to eat her any second, she slowly wrote a message.

Hey Tara, you were complaining that no one ever sends you messages so I sent you one.

Not minute had gone by when a response arrived.

Thanks. Are you psychic? I needed this so much. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I’ m so down.

Willow’s heart sank. So, she has a boyfriend. Great! How do I always fall for the straight ones?

Sorry, don’t be down. Boys aren’t worth the trouble.

She waited for the response, wondering if she should be going to the store to try and cheer her friend up.

Don’t worry. I’ll be ok.

How did this happen? She and Tara were getting along great. They could spend hours just talking about anything that would spring up. Sometimes Willow felt like they knew each other, not only for a lifetime, but beyond. So how come Tara didn’t feel the same? But something urged her to keep going. Something wouldn’t let her give up on Tara just yet. She would at least give the blonde a chance to decide if she wanted something more than friendship. Not that she planed on telling Tara how she felt. Not just yet anyway. But soon. Willow was never a person to let things fret. Fretless Willow, was happy Willow. She was more than thankful for just being friends with as amazing person as Tara. But…there was always that but. Sometimes she just got lost in Tara’s eyes, and then she knew that she was lost… forever… in Tara. And she couldn’t think of any place better to get lost in. What better place to spend eternity? Except perhaps in Tara’s arms.

Maybe I should call Buffy and go out, have some fun.

Edited by: Shadow at: 6/18/03 2:00 pm

[willowsgirl]

Me like! This fic is a welcome change cos I havent read many fics where Tara's the 'straight' one. plus you've made a brill start! Update soon please

willowsgirl xx

[Shadow]

Willowsgirl- thanks for feedback. I have just finished Part 6 so I will be posting often. But for now here comes Part 3.



PART 3



“Tara did you ever kiss a girl?”

The question just popped out of Willow’s mouth. It wasn’t as if she had planned on asking Tara that. It just came out of her mouth before she could process what she was saying. She was sitting on steps in the video store, while Tara was sitting on a chair behind the counter. Tara’s face was thoughtful for a moment before she answered.

“I guess… there was this New Year’s party and champagne… well I don’t drink often and it was just one glass but I was totally wasted. Anyway, I remember throwing up in the toilet with this girl, Sandy. I think we kissed, but I’m not so sure. Anyhow, I voted against drinking ever again after that.”

“If you’d kissed Sandy you’d never forget it.”

“Really?”

Willow smiled at Tara’s curiosity. Every time Willow spoke about something Tara knew nothing about, she would listen with such intensity that Willow never wanted to stop talking.

“Yeah… kissing a girl is like, kissing… it’s everything a kiss is supposed to be. It’s soft; it’s a breathtaking, unbelievable, head cracking, toe curling, mind losing experience that you can’t forget… even if you try really hard. Even if you were drunk when it happened.”

Now the blonde was looking at Willow with a bewildered look in her eyes. She’d heard Willow talk about a lot of stuff. Most of the time she babbled silly little things, but listening to Willow talk about kissing a girl made Tara see the passion that was behind it. And just that made her want to kiss a girl. Maybe even Willow. Okay Tara, where did that come from?

“So, I’m guessing you kissed some girl, Will?”

“Yeah, my best friend Buffy and I kissed couple of times, just to see what’s it like. And it was great.”

“Wasn’t it weird for you? I mean, a kiss is something totally private, maybe even more private then sex!”

“No. It only brought us closer.” At that moment, Willow pulled out a neatly folded letter in an envelope decorated with kittens, and gave it to Tara.

“Here, I figured no one ever writes you letters, so I wrote you one. You can answer it if you want. I was just bored like hell in school.”

“Thank you. This is great. So are we still doing that thing tomorrow?”

“You mean your dancing lessons?”

After hearing that Tara didn’t feel comfortable with her dancing skills, Willow had offered to help her get in the groove. After all, she did dance with Buffy almost every night at the Bronze. Tara had been reluctant, but, she enjoyed the redhead’s company, and if it meant she had to dance- she was going to dance.

“My dancing torture?” the blonde teased.

“Ha ha. You’re so funny. Don’t worry; I’ll go soft on you.

“Thank you.” Tara said, softly.

“No problem.”

“I don’t mean thank you for the dancing lessons. Even though I’m thankful for that too…but, thank you for being my friend. I don’t have many of those. My best friend Faith left for L.A. last year, she started a band. She’s a great guitarist, but I miss her. And the rest of my friends aren’t really my friends at all. They’re either my sister’s or my boyfriend’s. Thank you for being my friend.”

Willow smiled sweetly at Tara and hugged her gently. “Anytime.”

Tara returned the embrace and smiled into red hair.

“So, about those dance lessons…”

Edited by: Shadow at: 6/18/03 2:01 pm

[Shadow]

Here comes Part 4.



big thanks to Rachel for being my beta. It's so much easier to read now.



PART 4



“OK, this is easy. You just listen to the music. Choose one beat and then work with it.”

“But what if I can’t… you know… choose the beat?”

They were in Willow’s room and music was coming softly from her laptop. The room was dark, since Tara just couldn’t bear to dance in the light, and risk the humiliation she was sure would follow her faltering dance moves. Willow was very patient but she just wanted to grab Tara and dance with her. So she did something as close as she could to that.

“Lets try it like this. Turn your back to me.”

“What?” Tara was a little startled, and wondered what Willow had in mind.

“Just do it!”

Tara turned her back, and Willow slid her hands around Tara’s waist, inhaling the scent of her goddess. Drowning in Tara she slowly started to move to the beat of ‘Stranded’, pulling Tara’s body to hers. Nothing had ever felt like this. Nothing had even come close to the feelings Tara was giving her. Was it really possible for Tara to not feel the same? Just then, the laptop started playing ‘Round, Round’ and Willow quickened the pace. Just when things were starting to get hot, Tara missed a step and giggled.

“ You’ll never make a dancer out of me.”

“Oh come on! You’re great. I was half expecting to get killed.”

“Who’s funny now, Will?”

They giggled together for a moment, and then Willow pulled her Tarot cards out. Tara gasped.

“Tara? What’s wrong? You don’t like them?” Willow went into panic mode. The last thing she wanted to do was upset the blonde. She was starting to feel as though they were getting somewhere.

“No, no. It’s just… I have ones just like that.”

“ Cool.” Relieved Willow asked, “Want me to read your future?”

“Sure.”

Willow shuffled cards in her hands and spread them out on the floor between her and Tara.

“Okay, here goes.” Willow turned over the first card. “You’re unhappy at the moment. And something from the past is eating you up. A death that’s not your fault, but still, you blame yourself for it.” She glanced up, half expecting Tara to leave, but she just waved her hand for Willow to continue.

“That’s my present and my past. What about my future?”

Willow turned over three more cards. “There’s something mysterious for you to discover. Something you never imagined existed for real, but I can’t see what it is.”

Nervously, Tara asked, “Will I be happy?”

“Very.”

“Then that’s all I need to know.”

[Stroke of Luck]

HI



Wow what a story and i just found the time to read it now.....and i already love your story



Wow i loved that dancing part.... and i wonder if Tara liked it too



Update soon?



Cu

SoL/Natti



This is a duet, Amber! You need to sing!"- Tony

[littlecrazy80]

Love this story.

Hope they will be a couple asap.



*lil´c*

Let´s get happy and let´s be gay. germany´s grand prix song



Check this out

[Shadow]

Thanks Kittens, it means so much to me that you like my fic. I finished Part 6 and I'm sure you're going to love it



So, I'll be posting new part tomorrow.

[Shadow]

So here comes Part 5. I edited all parts since Rachel did her beta thing. looks better this way. be patient just a little bit more and then something nice will happen.





PART 5



Everything was making Willow sad. She usually looked forward to Wednesday ‘cuz she’d meet up with Buffy and Xander and they’d chat about the week. But today, everything was so depressing. She couldn’t think about anything that didn’t revolve around kissing the blonde girl she’d become friends with. And now, she couldn’t even concentrate on what Buffy was saying.

“Will, honey, wake up.”

“What?” Willow was jolted out of yet another daydream about soft lips and blue eyes.

“Usually, I’d come up with some snotty remark, but now I’m just too worried about you. You look like your best friend died. Which I know didn’t happen cuz, hey, still here.”

Xander, who had been watching quietly up until now, took one of Willow’s hands in his own. “Will, tell us what’s bothering you. Maybe we can help.”

“And even if we can’t it, could still take the load of your shoulders,” Buffy added.

Willow loved her friends, and seeing them so worried made her feel really guilty. They weren’t supposed to act like this. Buffy should be talking about those great new boots at the mall, and Xander should be talking about his problems with Anya, his girlfriend. But instead, they were just worried about her.

Willow sighed gently and decided to tell her friends what was bothering her. “You remember that girl I met?”

Buffy sighed and smiled. “You mean beautiful-blonde-hair-piercing-blue-eyes-body-to-go-gaga-over-Tara?” She pretended to think about it for a second. “Nope, sorry, never heard of her,” she teased.

Willow smiled at her quotation. She really had described Tara to Buffy like that, and she had introduced them. The two blondes were also friends now, and sometimes they would all go out together.

“Yeah. Tara.” Willow almost sighed the beautiful blonde’s name. “I just wanna kiss her, and I’m scared that she’ll push me away and I don’t know what to do cause it’s been bugging me for weeks and I really need to get it out of my system!”

“So just go and kiss her!”

Both Buffy and Willow turned to Xander.

“OK, I know what you’re thinking,” the dark haired boy said, “Xander only said that so he can have a fantasy about two girls he knows kissing, but that’s not it. I said it cuz either you’ll do it Will, or you’ll lose her as a friend. I know you. You don’t like beating around the bush. If you don’t do it- it will kill your friendship… And,” he smirked, “if it works out for you two… could I possibly watch?”

Buffy smacked Xander on the head, and he flinched away, mumbling something about his advice not being appreciated. Willow looked at Buffy with complete trust in her eyes.

“Buffy, you’re always one to tell me the truth. You won’t lie to me. What should I do?”

For a moment the blonde girl looked like she was thinking hard and then she gently stroked Willow’s hair.



“Will, you should really go and kiss her.”

“But what if it destroys our friendship?” Willow was more worried about losing Tara as a friend than she was about anything else.

“It didn’t destroy ours. It only made it better. Lying will destroy your friendship. As much as it pains me to say that Xander’s right about anything, you should follow your heart and not your head cause, quite frankly, you think way too much.”

“Gee thanks.” Willow was mildly offended. “If I…”

“Just go and kiss your girl,” her best friend interrupted the flow of babble that was sure to follow.

Willow stood up and turned around to look at Buffy one more time.

“What if she doesn’t want us to have that kind of relationship?”

“I don’t believe in fate that much Will. If you want there to be a relationship then just wish hard enough and it’ll happen.”

After that, Willow turned again and left the Summers’ residence. She was going to kiss Tara even if it killed her.

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

[barnabasvamp]

Can't believe I'm saying this, but for once I agree with Buffy!



Kiss her Willow, you never know.

Great story so far.



BV

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before"-Mae West

[Taras Shadow]

SHADOW!



Wow. I'm hooked, completely. This is an awesome AU fic, and I love how you characterize Willow, and Tara. And Buffy, and Xander of course. I'm another AU fan, I not only love writing it, I also LOVE reading it.



And I cannot wait until Part 6! Go Willow...you go and kiss that blonde Goddess!



This is just awesome! Good work!



~Holly~



Some advice, okay? Just don't point your f*cking finger at crazy people! - Lisa Rowe - Girl, Interrupted

[Stroke of Luck]

Willow has the best friends ever



Hehe wonder what Willow does, when she sees beautiful-blonde-hair-piercing-blue-eyes-body-to-go-gaga-over-Tara



Loved that sentence



Kiss that girl



Cu

SoL/Natti



This is a duet, Amber! You need to sing!"- Tony

[Shadow]

Barnabasvamp- Buffy can have great ideas! I’m glad you like my story.



Taras Shadow- wow, Holly read my fic… I have this stupid grin on now. And I'm doing my happy dance.

Thanks. You’re kinda responsible for this fic. I learned from you to use stuff that happen in my life and create a story out of it. I’m really glad you like it.



Stroke of Luck- well, Willow is only human, and we all know what humans do when they see our beautiful-blonde-hair-piercing-blue-eyes-body-to-go-gaga-over-Tara… they drool…

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

[littlecrazy80]

I hope Willow really follows Buffy´s and Xander´s advice.



I can see a lot of smoochies in the near future.



*lil´c*

Let´s get happy and let´s be gay. germany´s grand prix song



Check this out

[Taras Shadow]

Shadow

Quote:

---

You’re kinda responsible for this fic. I learned from you to use stuff that happen in my life and create a story out of it. I’m really glad you like it.

---

I'm loving what you have. And as for me being responsible...You, have awesome talent. And sometimes, it's cool to write things that's based on true life...true facts, true memories, because you can actually grab a hold of that character and nature, and sculpter the person beautifully. And when I write, I disect each character and fit a personality in, I place life inside a one dimensional character. And you're doing on hell of a job doing just that!



Whether or not this is based on true events, it's fantastic. I really can't wait for more.



~Holly~



Some advice, okay? Just don't point your f*ckin' finger at crazy people! - Lisa Rowe - Girl, Interrupted

[Shadow]

Gee Holly...now I'm blushing







PART 6





“I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can’t do this!!! How am I going to pull this off? I mean she HAS a boyfriend! What am I doing? Why am I listening to my heart anyway? Like it helped me before in my life?”

Willow was walking down the street towards the video store. She didn’t even realize she was speaking out loud. All she could do was think about how she was going to kiss her Tara. Her gaze was on the road, so she almost missed the store. She noticed as she looked up, and checked around, slightly embarrassed.

She stood staring at the doors for a couple of minutes, trying to gather the courage to enter the store. The doors were made of glass, with a couple of movie posters taped to it. Through them, she could see Tara sitting on her chair and laughing at something in the magazine she was reading. Willow sighed wistfully. She is sooo beautiful.

Suddenly Tara looked in Willow’s direction and smiled, waving her hand a little. Willow couldn’t help but smile back. She has the most amazing smile. Tara got out of her chair and joined Willow at the door.

“My shift is over. Your message said you needed to talk to me?” Tara’s voice made Willow shiver slightly…it was so…mmmm.

“Yeah, can we go somewhere more… private?” Her heart jumped into her throat as she said the words; she was actually going to do it. She was going to kiss Tara.

Willow looked at the nearby bar and shivered at the thought of kissing her Tara. She wasn’t entirely sure when she’d started thinking of the blonde as hers, but, at some point, she had. When she imagined kissing Tara it would always include a beach, sunset and then a night under the stars. But now they were standing on the street, and every few minutes a couple of raindrops would fall. It wasn’t her dream scenario, but she followed Tara quietly. She really wasn’t keen on starting a conversation, so she fought against her instinct to babble when faced with nerves.

Finally, they reached the park. Tara sat on the near by bench, while Willow started pacing in front of her.

Willow didn’t know how long they actually stayed that way. But all of a sudden, she was really pissed off. Turning her head towards the sky, she decided to have a little chat with whoever was doing this to her. Tara had become her best friend. Why did she have to go and fall in love with her?

“Hey can I get some help please? It’s not like it’s easy for me. I’m scared and I just want it to be over.” Willow pleaded with whatever entity had made her fall head-over-heels for the amazingly beautiful woman sat patiently before her.

Tara smiled softly at Willow, the redhead’s mannerisms were so quirky, and endearing.

“You are so cute,” the blonde giggled slightly, despite the apparent seriousness of the situation.

Pulling herself together, Willow turned to the blonde and gathering all the courage she possessed, she started talking.

“Now, I’m gonna count to 10 and after that I’m going to kiss you. If you don’t want me to kiss you, you have to give me a good reason before I get to 10. ok?”

The redhead rushed the words, but Tara somehow understood them. Understanding the words didn’t make her any less shocked though. Her eyes were wide open and she found herself able to mouth only one word.

“Why?”

“Because I have to,” Willow was suddenly very sure of herself. Although the butterflies in her stomach remained, she knew that, tonight, she was going to kiss the girl she’d dreamt about for so long. Looking at Tara, and smiling nervously Willow started counting.

“One… two… three… four…five…six…seven…”

“I’m gonna interrupt now. I know you don’t like the number 6, so I waited till you got to 7. I’ve got one problem with this.”

Willow’s face fell. “Which is?” She could feel that she was close to tears.

“What if it destroys our friendship?”

She could understand that. It was how she’d felt about kissing Buffy, but she knew the answer. “It won’t. I promise.” The nervy smile returned to her face.

Tara slowly got of the bench and stood, facing Willow.

“Can we, like, do this tomorrow? Cause I’m scared. Really scared.”

“Delaying it won’t help. It will only make you scared-er.”

The blonde took a deep breath and let it out again. “Ok. Let’s do it.”

They stood facing each other, and they both took one step closer, so they were now standing so close that their noses were touching. Willow took in the scent she had become so familiar with. Slowly, her hands gently cupped Tara’s face. She smiled reassuringly at the gorgeous woman standing right there.

“We can do this Tare.”

Tara smiled back, confident, and then slowly leaned in. Willow followed her example and gently, slowly, their lips met. Willow tilted her head to the right and made the final connection with Tara’s lips. Tara slowly opened her mouth, and her tongue caressed Willow’s lower lip. Willow opened her mouth, and Tara took the invite, sliding her tongue inside, and caressing Willow’s. After a moment they broke apart, moving slightly away from each other, but still with their arms encircling one another.

“Your lips are so soft Willow.” Tara’s voice was barely above whisper.

“Well duh! I’m a girl,” Willow laughed at Tara’s seemingly obvious observation.

“Come here.” The blonde playfully punched Willow on the shoulder, before leaning in and kissing her again.

The blonde and redhead’s thoughts ran almost the exact same.

I can’t believe I kissed a girl!

I can’t believe I kissed Tara!

Willow looked at her watch. It was very late. If she didn’t get to the bus station soon, she would probably have to walk all the way home. Tara also noticed the time, and smiled. She kissed Willow one more time before walking away from the park.

“See you tomorrow Will. Good night!”

“Good night Tara.”

For a moment Willow just stood there, before she turned and walked to the bus station. The last coherent thought in Willow’s head before the happy dance started, was that maybe it wasn’t about beaches, sunsets and nights under the stars. It was only about her and Tara. Nothing else mattered.

[Stroke of Luck]

Oh wow Willow had the courage to kiss Tara

And Willow thinks about Tara as hers....oh that is so cute....



Cant wait till they see each other again. Wow you write so good Shadow.... WANT MORE



Cu

SoL/Natti



This is a duet, Amber! You need to sing!"- Tony

[Taras Shadow]

Shadow!



Yes! Willow and Tara kissed! And I loved it when Tara pulled Willow in for another kiss. That was 'awww' worthy.

Quote:

---

“We can do this Tare.”

---

This part...made my knees go weak. It was just that fact that Willow had more confidence in kissing Tara and knowing that it wouldn't change anything after the kiss was finished. Okay, so it would...but only the fact that their relationship would get stronger.



I'm patiently waiting for more.



~Holly~



Some advice, okay? Just don't point your f*cking finger at crazy people! - Lisa Rowe - Girl, Interrupted

[littlecrazy80]

Yay they finally kissed.

I hope there are more on their way.



*lil´c*

Let´s get happy and let´s be gay. germany´s grand prix song



Check this out

[Shadow]

I love you guys I'm so honoured. I'm sending part 7 and 8 to Rachel and as soon as she's done I'll be posting them.

I promise you fun times but before the rainbow...

I have my gaduation exam from croatian language and world literature on Monday and i should probably be studying right now but I can't. great! If I fail the exam I can't go to college!!! Ok, I'm of to do some studying now and I'll post next part tomorrow.



Love you all!

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

[Arwen276]

Hey!! i like your fic a lot, (i have a thing for AU)

and as i read in ur summary about the whole "lot of angst" issue, i have this sense of foreboding about things getting worse?? i hope i'm wrong though, but anyway it's a great fic! i like it, it's very light and well please update soon!!!





~Arwen

[Shadow]

I'm waiting for Rachel to do her beta thing so it's really up to her when the next part is going to be posted (not that I'm trying to shift the blame ).



about the angst... well true love is never easy. and realising you are gay... well most of you here know what's it like to discover you're gay. I' m not sure how this story will grow but I know one thing for sure. there will be a lot of coffee, food, kisses and gay love for Will and Tara. I promise.

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

[amberbensontotallyrules4e]

Hey guys.

Really really sorry for the delay, but I'll get the next parts done asasp, I promise!

Shadow: You can shift the blame if you want to!!! It kinda is my fault. Been a bit busy, no time to check emails, but I'm gonna get on the case with beta'ing now, so you can past tomorrow night at the latest!

Will that be soon enough for you mad Kitties?

Luv

Rachel



Edited becaused I have NO IDEA how html and stuff works on this board...just call me stupid now!!!

Edited by: amberbensontotallyrules4eva at: 6/21/03 3:46 pm

[Shadow]

Rachel

Nah... don't wanna shift the blame... you are a goddess of all betas. You're doing great job so I'm not complaining!!!



So you just do your thing and we'll all be patient.

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

[Taras Shadow]

Shadow!



Oooouuu...okay, so you're saying I should wait here and be patient. Well, I can certainly do that! *awaits patiently*

Quote:

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there will be a lot of coffee, food, kisses and gay love for Will and Tara. I promise.

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Ooouuu...okay, so again, you're saying I should wait here and be patient?? I can still do that. *waggles eyebrows* Coffee, food, kisses and gay love for Willow and Tara are always awesome...but you know what makes it sweeter? The "I promise."



Excited to see more Shadow! *grins* *patiently waits and hums Michelle Branch tunes*



~Holly~



Some advice, okay? Just don't point your f*ckin' finger at crazy people! - Lisa Rowe - Girl, Interrupted

[Shadow]

Holly, how about I'll update when you update NANLT



Nah... I'll be nice and update tomorrow.



but I still want an update from you. you know it's kinda boring without something Holly-like to read. I even don't want to read Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix!!!

See what you turned me into? Fanfic craving monster!

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

Edited by: Shadow at: 6/22/03 9:04 am

[Shadow]

Ok... Rachel did her thing with part 7 so... hope you'll enjoy it. No Will and Tara... just Tara thinking about Will



PART 7



Tara walked, smiling like someone had just granted her her biggest wish. Willow just kissed her. Well, okay, they’d kissed each other, but still, she’d kissed her Willow.

She’d been so nervous whilst Willow paced in front of her, and made her little talk with the sky. All sorts of things had raced through her mind. And when Willow had finally told her what was gonna happen, she’d been sooo embarrassed. And kinda scared-Willow was her best friend. What if they didn’t like it once they’d kissed? She’d been full of all sorts of questions, but when it actually happened, all she’d been aware of were soft lips. So soft. The softest thing she’d ever felt. She’d gotten lost. Completely. In Willow. And it felt so good. For the first time in ages she’d actually stopped thinking and just let herself enjoy the kiss.



But, right now, she felt very guilty about it. Before her stood her boyfriend and her younger sister. Greg looked so relieved when he saw her and Astra just stood there looking pissed off.



“Tara, where the hell were you? We waited for you to get back from work, but you were 2 hours late!” Astra’s tone was accusing.

“We went out to find you.” Greg was gentler, the worry shining through into his voice, but he was still reproachful.



Despite the guilt, she couldn’t stop smiling, so Tara just passed by them with a stupid grin on her face and motioned for them to get inside. Rain was really starting to fall and she felt too good to get wet… well, to get wet because of the rain anyway. Greg and Astra followed her inside.



Astra was 17 years old and she felt like she knew everything about everyone. Or at least, Tara saw it like that. Astra had shoulder length blonde hair and the same deep blue eyes as her older sister. Ever since Tara’s mom had died 4 years ago, Tara had been forced to take her place and take care of Astra and their youngest sister, ten-year-old Sam. They’d had one more sister, Adrienne. Their mom had died giving birth to Adrienne, and, unfortunately, the baby died two days later.



Tara loved her sisters and her father very much, but sometimes, she felt so angry. Why was she the one that had to stop being a kid and start taking care of everyone? Shouldn’t her father do it? And Astra didn’t help all too much. Most of the time she just rebelled. But when Tara was with Willow, she just… forgot about the tough hand life had dealt her, and let herself be a kid again. And that felt sooo good. Letting go of all her responsibilities and just being free. Nothing had ever offered her that before.



Greg followed her to her room, and she suddenly turned, as if she had just realised he was there.



“Oh… Greg… hi.” This is… uncomfortable.

“ Look, Tara. I might be insane, but there was this yellow car… and it flashed it’s lights every now and then… was that… god I don’t know how to say this.” Greg sounded slightly scared that he might lose her, but Tara didn’t like the accusatory tone that had slid into his voice.



She just motioned with her hand for him to keep on.



“Are you cheating on me with some guy in a yellow car?” The words were rushed, but there was no mistaking them. He thinks I’ve been cheating on him with a guy in a yellow car?



If he hadn’t been looking so sad, she would probably have laughed, hard. But… she did love Greg. They’d been together for almost a year, and he had his moments. Right now, she was just confused. Willow… she was always somewhere in the back of Tara’s mind, even when she kissed Greg. Tara realised that soon she would have to work out what she really felt for Willow, and Greg for that matter. Soon, but not tonight. Tonight she just wanted to get lost in her dreams.



“No Greg, I didn’t.” Tara said, softly.



She wanted to call him on the fact that he had no trust in her. But she couldn’t. Tara wasn’t like that. And, besides, she had cheated on him. Maybe not with some guy in a yellow car, but cheated on him never the less.



“I was with Willow. You met her that one time at the Bronze. Remember?” When she said Willow’s name, her heart fluttered.



He looked really relieved.



“Yeh. Look… lets just go to bed.”



He was already half way to the bed when she pulled his hand.



“No. Greg. Not tonight. Just…just go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”



For a moment she thought he would question her motives, but he just kissed her and left the room. He was pissed and she knew it. Sometimes Tara just hated his overreacting. He was such a baby- like she needed another child to take care of. She really just wanted to take care of Willow. Where did that come from?

Picking up her hairbrush, she exited the room and entered the bathroom. Just as she was about to close the door, Astra ran inside.



“Where’s the fire sis?” Tara teased her younger sister.

“You kissed her!” It was difficult to decipher the tone of Astra’s voice. There was an element of accusation, and of excitement.

It was late, and Tara was tired and frustrated that things were so complicated.



“Astra, I’m too tired for this.”

“You did! I knew it! I told you she likes you that way.”



Settling on the toilet seat, Tara looked at her sister with a light smile on her lips.



“I don’t know if she likes me that way. I don’t know anything. Except that she has the softest lips and that her kisses give me butterflies.” It was true. Hadn’t Willow told her that she had kissed Buffy and it had only made their friendship stronger? What if that’s what the kiss had been about? A stronger friendship.



Astra jumped on her sister, hugging her tightly.



“So… you gonna do it again?”



Instead of answering her, Tara just smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

_________________________________________________



I promise that sonn there will be some NC-17 warning

We don't need lists of rights and wrongs, tables of do's and don'ts: we need books, time and silence.

Thou shalt not is soon forgotten, but Once Upon A Time lasts forever.



Philip Pullman

[amberbensontotallyrules4e]

Goddess of all betas? Aw shucks! Well, thanks, but I'm sure there are those better than me!

Edited because Shadow crept in there and updated while I was typing Update Soon

Edited by: amberbensontotallyrules4eva at: 6/22/03 9:17 am