• Feedback: Wanted, and adored.
• Distribution: Just ask.
• Spoilers:"Hush" through "Seeing Red"
• Rating: PG-13. (Will go up as story progresses)
• Pairing: W/T, B/S
• Disclaimer: Willow, Spike, Tara, Buffy, Giles, Anya, and all other related charcters belong to the much loved, and sometimes hated ME.
• Summary: After the events of "Seeing Red" Willow went berserk, destroyed her lover's murderer, then was taken to a coven in England. Running away from it, she's returned to Sunnydale, but the once happy and life-filled Witch is slowly losing her mind. Can an accidental wish to a demon, change it all?
• Note: This series has no definite number of chapters, and one should be posted every one to three days
Willow stood before the Summer's home, looking lost and broken. Her once vivid, bright green eyes were dull and hollow. Once beautiful red hair was now limp, tangled and filthy. Skin was paler and bruised, deep black circles beneath her eyes. She blinked once, twice, and looked at up as rain began falling. She let the cold drops hit her, seeming oblivious to it even happening.
Dawn cursed, coming down the staircase into the living room. She still couldn't believe Tara was gone, and Willow... She swallowed roughly; there was no thinking about that now. Buffy couldn't see her crying, again. She was becoming more and more neurotic, especially because of Willow's being gone. Willow was a rock, sometimes Buffy's, sometimes everyone's. Dawn sighed, glancing around for Buffy a moment, chancing a glance out the window. Willow? She quickly managed to almost tear the front door off it's hinges, running outside and hugging the much beloved Witch.
Dawnie? What? Willow's brain barely seemed to be register the actual, human contact she was getting. Blinking rapidly she peered down at the ecstatic, yet frightened looking girl. Three times she tried to get the lump in her throat that hadn't gone away since Tara's death, and failed again. Her voice came out strained and strange, sounding on the edge of tears.
Dawn winced, feeling just how thin Willow was, and how cold. She stepped back, letting go of the older girl.
Dawn shifted nervously, taking the knapsack resting at Willow's feet, heading inside the house. With halting, hesitant steps, Willow followed her. Dawn quickly busied herself putting together a sandwich for the woman, launching into a full ramble about school. She lowered herself onto a stool, staring at Dawn, listening mindlessly. Tara used to stand there. Funny shape pancakes... D, do you want f,funny sh,shapes? Or n,normal? Well, th,they normally end u,up f,funny shapes anyway... Oh, they were fine baby. Perfect. Like you. Different, but so good. So sweet. All over my shirt. You loved me in that shirt. The stain never went away. I haven't been able to wear it again. Sorry baby. All over it. Willow had begun shaking with that bit of mental strain, and simply fell off the stool, unconscious. Dawn yelped, quickly walking over and half dragging half carrying the now unconscious Willow up the staircase.
Willow slowly stirred, groaning faintly. Her eyes fluttered open and winced against the light. Jumping slightly, she threw the cover off, trying to stand. Spike reached a pale hand out, pinning her down.
She blinked at him a moment, trying to register who it was. He hit my nose! And it hurt, uh... Him I mean! There's no demon in there. It's just a family legend, am I right? You’re a piece of work. I like you. I'm... Not a demon. You’re not a demon! He hurt my nose... Yeah, you’re welcome. Don't... Just go.
Spike raised a pale brow, reaching down and putting a comforting arm around her shoulders.
Saying it'd 'be okay' seemed like a bloody pointless thing, and he just fell silent. The only sound in this room of death, were the sobs of the broken witch, and soothing murmurs of a vampire.
Buffy stood in the doorway of the bedroom, a bit frozen. Spike was sitting there, smoothing Willow's hair, holding her sobbing form. Willow looked… horrid. She crossed her arms slowly over her chest, just staring. She swallowed the lump in her throat, quickly reverting to 'slayer-mode.'
Buffy's eyes were positively... huge. This was Willow, babbling, cute, sometimes shy, but always strong and smart, Willow. But she's not now. And what the hell can I do about it? Buffy slowly, just shakily reached out and embraced her best friend. Spike sat there a moment, staring at the pair of them.
Willow stared over at the window, her eyes a bit blank. It'd been nearly two weeks since she'd come to stay at the Summer's home. Buffy had quite an argument with Giles over it. But Willow remained oblivious. Her eyes slowly went shut, and she fell into an almost comatose sleep.
Willow, you are using too much magic! What do you want me to do? Just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut? Well, that'd be a good start! If I didn't love you so damn much, I could! Are,are you saying your gonna leave me? I don't think this is gonna work. You should be with the one you love. I am. You can't just... have coffee, and expect... I know. There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides. Can we just skip it? Can,can you just be, be kissing me now? Your shirt... Tara?! Tara! Baby, baby c'mon, get up… Noo! No! No!
Willow's form violently shot out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom. She retched into the toilet, and weakly reached out, flushing it. She stood, and glanced in the mirror. My eyes.. Reflected back at her, were pure black eyes, flickering red. One trembling hand violently came out, smashing into the mirror, over, and over again. She dropped to her knees, shuddering, oblivious to her bleeding hand. Buffy quickly pulled open the bathroom door, and stared at the now weeping form of her best friend. With a slow, shaky sigh, she pulled the first aid kit down, begging to tend to her hand.
Buffy just nodded, slowly. She'd learned that there was nothing that would stop these rants, and nothing that could be done about them. And it's killing you, isn't it Buffy? So strong, can't even help your best friend. Buffy attempted to ignore those thoughts, just nodding when it seemed appropriate, quietly wrapping her hand up. She led the woman off to her room, and silently walked back to the bathroom. Buffy took a moment, but finally got the tranquillisers. Walking slowly back, she offered two to Willow.
Buffy walked down the staircase, slowly heading into the kitchen. Her eyes narrowed a bit, seeing the 'visitor'.
He glanced at her, having been searching the fridge for something to drink.
She could handle fighting Gods, and vampires. But watching her best friend spiral to insanity? Well, even a Slayer had limits.
With a slow, lazy grin he moved closer. Grabbing her wrists, he lightly stroked the faint pulse. He leaned down, lips brushing hers with every word.
Spike drew the final curtain closed more tightly, a bit paranoidly. He stared at Willow, perfectly silent. He felt a swell of pity in his un-beating heart for the little witch. Not too many hours later, she stirred. Slowly sitting up, she peered over at him. Do we have any books, at all, at home? Well, who wants to be cooped up on a day like this, The sun is shining, there's songs going on... Those guys are checking you out... What? Wha,wha what are they looking at? The hotness of you doofus! Those boys really thought I was hot... Oh my god, I'm cured! I want the boys! Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch. I'm just, not use to that... Th,they were really looking at me? And you can't imagine what they see in you. I know exactly what they see in me... You. Willow began humming, then quietly singing to herself
I can feel you inside
I'm under your spell
Searching like the sea
Pulled to you so hopelessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my Willow tree
You make me complete.."
He felt so much… pity for this poor witch. Spike was a creature who would do anything for love, let it take him anywhere. Seeing what he'd known as a bright, bubbly woman reduced to a near insane state, was too much. She seemed so alive, so unreal sometimes, amazing. Plus, she almost cared as much about Buffy as he did. She turned her eyes to him, so clear and tear-filled.
Edited by: Wltf at: 5/26/03 8:31:24 pm
but it was sad. i could actually feel willows pain.. and she is kinda sounding like dru.. but im gunna keep reading ur fic cuz u got me hooked now 
can't wait to see where you take this. more soon??
So emotional.. and sad.. I can literally feel Willow's pain 
Really interested to see how this fic progresses. Great stuff! 
Incredible emotional on my opinion. Poor Willow is really falling apart and the impotence in her friends is so overhelming. Continue this soon 'cuse is great story. Please