Title - Vow
Author - Sammi
Rating - R? To be safe.
Disclaimer - All characters belong to Joss and ME, I just borrowed them.
Feedback - Pleeeease tell me what you think.
Notes - I don't want ot give away the premise at this point, but I'll clarify after I post this first part for any confused Kittens. Takes place in about 2006.
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Tara threw down her pen with an aggravated cry. She was so frustrated; she was out of ink, again. Most authors nowadays used computers to write, but Tara Maclay had made a vow, years ago, in honor of an unforgotten girlfriend, never to use a computer again. She went through so many notebooks and pens that it was hard though not to give in and break her vow. So many places were all computerized by now too, like the banks, and that little fact made it harder to keep her promise also. Despite all the reasons pushing her to give in, nothing on earth could make her forget the reason she gave them up in the first place.
The last time Tara had used a computer had been nearly five years ago. Her fingers had flown across the keys, her lips curving into a smile when her words flowed freely and alternately frowning when she had to hit the backspace key or when she paused to think of her next line, or what else to say. She labored hours on that piece, though it would only take a minute to read. It had to be perfect; it was for the best purpose. Finally, Tara knew it was ready. She hit print, and looked out the window. Dammit, it was dark already, would that mean it was too late? She wondered. Against her better judgment, she decided to go anyways, she couldn’t wait another night.
The whole way there, she practiced what to say.
Five blocks to go. “Things fall apart.”
Four blocks. “They fall apart so hard.”
Just three more. “You can't ever ... “ Pause. “Put them back the way they were.”
Two. “You can’t just have coffee and expect…”
Last block. “It’s a long, important process.”
She was there. She took out the keys that she still had, and unlocked the door, already knowing only one person would be in the house right now, intentionally choosing this time. She mounted the stairs, and hesitated in front of the bedroom door she had once known as hers. Deep breath, and then she began. “Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard.” She enters the room.
“Tara?” Her red haired angel questions softly.
Yes, my love, Tara answers silently before continuing her carefully written prose. She had the ending all prepared, all written, but looking at this woman before her, all was forgotten.
And there came the kiss. The kiss to rival all others. The kiss of long suffering soulmates, reuniting in this perfect moment of bliss. It is intense, it is passionate, and it is, above all else, love. This kiss, beautiful, ferocious, and tender says everything her forgotten speech could not despite all of its careful planning. With this kiss, Tara leads her fully surrendering cohort towards the bed that was once theirs. And there, the girl gives herself to Tara, fully.
For months prior to that night, Tara had been lost. And now she had sought out the one, the only one who could find her. That night, they did not even dream of sleeping until the golden rays of dawn peeked out from the sides of their curtains.
Tara remembered every moment of that next day. Could remember clearly the words they said when they finally awoke, could remember the food they ate, the way the girls red hair had sparkled in the sun, in front of the window when they had finally risen to get dressed.
The sparkle. That was what Tara remembered the most. The shine on the girls face as she pulled on those jeans that hugged her legs, the white short sleeve button up shirt. Then she had looked up at Tara, and smiled with her strawberry lips right before her eyebrows quirked the slightest bit, and with her scientist voice in place she’d said “Your shirt.” That was all, her pale fingers splayed out against Tara’s chest and then she was gone. Her baby, her baby girl, was just… gone.
It was Tara’s fault. If she’d never led her to the bed, never kissed her, never read the damned speech to her… If she had never used that last computer to type the speech, the girl would still be alive.
So now, five years later, Tara still grieved, still cried herself to sleep every night. Still prayed for her lost one to return. She still grieved for her Willow-tree.
all will be revealed 
