COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Giles and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Josh Wheldon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the author for permission to reproduce this story on any other fan fiction site.
SPOILERS: Anything from Season 6 that has been aired!
TITLE: UNTITLED
AUTHOR: Sher (Sher_555@yahoo.com)
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Tara looked around the room in utter disbelief. It was just two weeks ago she left Willow and it all seemed like a dream, a very bad dream. Tara had been going to classes and keeping up her grades. Her grades are actually better than they ever had been. With no sleep, no Willow, and no life, she’d just stay up all hours and do her studies. What else is there to do? She hadn’t seen the Scoobies really… only in passing and a smile. She was certain that Buffy didn’t want to see her. The only Scoobies Tara felt semi-comfortable around was Dawn and Anya.
Tara looked at the clock beside her bed, ‘oh 11:45, Willow will be by.’ Tara walked to the window of her dorm room. Standing there staring out, Tara saw Willow walked by with Buffy with a smile on her face. She couldn’t help smiling herself. Tara grabbed her books and art supplies, she hated this class. She used to love any art class but she just felt like all that she could possibly put on canvas would just hurt.
“Come on Tara. What else do you have to do?”
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Willow felt something, she wasn’t quit sure what it was but she felt a warmth just consume her.
“So… Will…. How you doing ?” Buffy asked, with the tension in the air of Tara leaving and the recent accident with Dawn. Buffy no longer knew how to approach her longtime friend. She no longer felt that connection with her.
“Huh? Oh ok. Alright,” Willow responding automatically. Willow looked down at the ground, still not feeling like she was able to look Buffy in the eyes. “Buffy, why’d you come with me?”
“awww…come on Will, can’t your friend keep you company?” Buffy asked. She had other motives like: making sure Willow didn’t go running off to Rack or that no magic took place. She wasn’t sure if she could trust Willow yet.
“Well how about you let me go into my physics lecture with out a chaperone, and you keep busy somehow by yourself. I mean it’s not like Physics is your thing. It’s much worse than Bio gentics like my last class.” Willow was hoping Buffy would take the blunt clue and just leave her alone for the hour of this class. Lately she has been feeling like a fish, being observed through the glass and everything around her being controlled.
Buffy couldn’t help by think, ‘Physics… yeah but no’. “Yeah I guess you have a point Will. Ok I’ll meet you outside after class.” Buffy said, then realized that she seemed all demanding, “Cool?”
Willow just nodded and headed off into the building as Buffy walked towards the quad were most of the students would be at. ‘maybe I’ll find a hottie and run off into the sunset with him’ Buffy though with a chuckle, ‘or maybe I’ll just sit her and wait for an hour, yeah that sounds more like it.’
Just as Buffy found a bench she saw a familiar blonde walking by in her direction. Tara was carrying a canvas and a fishing box, presumably full of oil paints and such. Buffy was relieved to see Tara. It had been weeks since she’s seen her last, she had dropped by so quickly to pick up Dawn that all she saw of her was the back of her head. Buffy couldn’t help but notice that Tara changed since she has left. She was back to old Tara, Tara with the hair down hiding her face and shoulder hunched to hide herself completely.
“Hey there!” Buffy called out loudly to Tara. But she didn’t stop, just kept walking. “Hey.” Buffy said while getting up and grabbing Tara’s elbow as she past. Tara looked up in almost a shock.
“ohh Buffy. I-I didn’t t-think anyone was calling to me.” Tara said and then gave Buffy a little sad smile.
“How ya doing girl? Do you have some time? Oh you have class.” Buffy said as she realized Tara probably wouldn’t be carrying the canvas otherwise.
“N-no, well yes, I m-mean I can skip.” Tara said with a tiny smile on her face. Buffy couldn’t help by smile back at that. Tara was just happy Buffy was on speaking terms with her. She thought surely after leaving Willow she would be brushed off to the side and not included in her life except to serve as a substitute mother for Dawn. Tara didn’t mind that though, she understood.
What Buffy really wanted to say: ‘Hey Tara… why’d you leave? Are you as miserable as Willow? Oh yeah then come back home.’ But Buffy knew better than that, she knew she had no right to ask those questions to someone she once called ‘Family’ and now that Tara stopped being with her best friend, seemed to have slipped from that ‘Family’ circle that meant so much to Tara. Buffy all of a sudden felt horrible and it didn’t help that Tara’s stuttering was back in full force along with her shyness like she was with her biological family.
“Great! I have an hour to kill! Lunch, how about lunch?” Buffy said looking Tara over realizing that she could probably use a couple lunches. Her and Willow are the same. Willow sort of stopped eating when Tara left. It only lasted a couple of days before the Scoobies noticed and said something. Then Buffy started to realize that Tara didn’t have someone to tell her eat, and stop moping around the house.
“Y-yeah, I mean, yes that would be great. I could just drop t-these things off.” Tara said pointing back to her dorm room not far away.
“Awesome, love to check out the Tara pad, fairy lights again?” Buffy asked trying to get Tara to smile again.
There was silence between the two girls as they walked to Tara’s dorm. Something about Tara living alone again didn’t settle well with Buffy. ‘Definitely no one to tell her to stop moping.’ As they walked into Tara, Buffy just looked around, it was nothing like the previous Tara pad. She’d only been to Tara’s room last year a couple of times, but it had a soothing feeling, character to it. This room was regulation wall color, a blanket on the bed, a pillow, a closet full of boxes and few clothes hanging, and a cleared desk. No character.
“Where are the fairy lights?” Buffy asked trying not to make it so obvious that she was upset by how empty the room seemed to be.
“Oh, I don’t know, I-I just kind of…. I-I’ve only been here for a little, Not much in the decorating mood and all.” Tara said while putting her supplies and canvas on the table.
Buffy walked over to the corner of the room where she could see Tara’s artwork. She could recognize some of it. Tara would sometimes just do a painting on one of Willow’s eyes in a small 8x10 canvas and then sometimes she would do abstract paintings that would just portray one feeling alone. As Buffy looked through the unfamiliar ones she didn’t like the feelings they portrayed.
“Oh B-buffy… I-I… those are private.” Tara said hurrying over to remove them from Buffy’s perusing eyes. “I just, l-lunch.” Tara added with a little smile, hoping that would distract Buffy long enough that she wont mention some of the paintings.
Buffy couldn’t help but feel hurt from Tara withholding part of herself from her. She remembered at home Tara use to let her watch her paint on the back porch. Buffy use to watch, silently, as Tara would create these amazing masterpieces that were just on a flat canvas or on a charcoal board. Buffy missed that intimate time with her the most. Tara would let Willow watch her, if she wanted, but willow often didn’t have the attention span to sit there the whole time without pulling Tara away to do “studying in their room.” There was something about watching Tara’s each hand stroke that caused a trans-like effect on the slayer. Buffy would often ask quiet questions and if Tara was too deep in thought or didn’t want to answer she wouldn’t say a word, in the beginning. But as the ritual became more familiar the intimate questions Buffy asked would be answered. She learned a lot about Tara’s childhood, mother, and just Tara’s opinions or herself. Buffy couldn’t believe how wise Tara appeared to be, the girl who was hesitant to speak when all the Scoobies were together, when alone shone brightly as an intelligent woman who was very perceptive on her observations and opinions she made about the world. Tara often would advise Buffy, and almost help her find her calmness within that she had trouble finding since the spell that Willow performed that brought her back to the world. Buffy missed this Tara. She could see she was still there hidden. It was this Tara that didn’t run off in the beginning when Buffy asked her to lunch. It was this Tara that was a little mischievous and decided to skip her class, but she could see that this Tara was hiding away while the other Tara became more dominant.
“ummm.. Buffy are you ready?” Tara asked. She knew she offended Buffy by keeping the paintings away from her, but better to offend then have her worried or hurt.
“Yeah. Pizza?” Buffy said with a smile on her lips, but didn’t quit meet her eyes.
“Yes.” Tara said as she grabbed her bag and opened the door for Buffy to follow.
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Yeah I know it's short... I promise longer later on... maybe even tonight if I can find some time.
Keep writing, please! I'm into it. 