Name: Cold as Ice.
Author: the Next Tara Maclay
Disclamer: You know the drill.
Feedback: YES!!!
Rating: G for this part of it!!!!
E-mail: LittleStarChild@aol.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Cold as Ice"
Tara sat at her dorm room, Reading a book from her geomitry class wondering what her ex-lover was doing right now, She couldn't concentrate its like something in her head was throbbing. * This just stinks, I can't even read this book, I wonder what Willows doing right now.. I wonder if she misses me? Probably.. * She silenlty stood up from her chair she was sitting on and walked over to the bathroom to get some asprin, She opened the cabinet and took some advil and her dark blue eyes looked at a picture of her and Willow.
Tara closed her eyes feeling the pain again, Willow had hurt her, and she had to do what was right, She hoped that Willow was doing much better so that some day she could be with her beloved Willow again.
"Oh Willow....I miss you so much..."She said quietly.
She looked down at the phone, and thought to herself * maybe I should call Dawn to c-check up on her and then talk to W-willow? * She nodded to herself silently as she grabbed teh phone and punched in Buffys number.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Dawn sat on the couch her blue eyes staring at the ringing phone, She put down her book that she was supposed to be reading for homework, She lifted her hand to the telephone and picked it up and answered in a nice manner.
"Hello?"
"Hi Dawnie!" Tara said as she looked down at her nails.
"Hi Tara, So whats up?"
"Nothing much, How is e-everyone?"
"Umm..."Dawn paused silently as she looked down at the floor for a moment.
"Dawn?"
"everyones...O.k.."
"You don't sound so positive..Is something wrong?" Tara asked concerned.
"Nah, Nothings wrong..."Dawn said, She had lied to Tara, Something was above wrong, But could she tell Tara the truth? It would hurt her so much.
Just as Dawn and Tara were talking Buffy came in the door, She looked at Dawn an mouthed "Who are you talking to?"
Dawn looked at Buffy and mouthed back "Tara"
Buffys eyes got a worried look on them when she heard the name Tara as she walked past Dawn and into the kitchen to get something for Willow, Who was upstairs sick.
"I-i have to go T-tara." Dawn said quickly.
"O-oh..okay...Well bye.."Tara said a big confused.
"Yeah..bye..." Dawn said as she hung up, closing her eyes, She couldn't believe what she just did, Everything was going wrong and she couldn't tell Tara she was not supposed to tell Tara.
***
Willow sat upstairs in her room, Pale as a ghost she just sat there, doing..nothing, Not that she could after the news she had just heard, She covered her mouth as she coughed not wanting anyone else to get sick, But this they couldn't catch from her.
Buffy made her way upstairs to Willows room as she was holding some medicine and some water and some food for Willow as she had it all on a tray and put it on Willows bed as she looked at Willow.
"Hi Will" Buffy said.
"H-hi B-buffy..W-who was on the phone..w-who was Dawn talking to" Willow asked a bit curiously.
"Willow, She was talking to Tara." Buffy answered.
"S-she.." Willow couldnt continue her sentence.
Willows eyes got a bit misty, She had hoped that Dawn wouldn't tell Tara about her, Most likely she didn't because Dawn would have run up here and said she was sorry. Luckly she trusted Dawn not to tell, The only people who knew about this would have been Buffy,Xander,Dawn and herself.
Willows radio was turned on softly as a song played she didn't know who it was by but she liked the song. She listened to the words carefully.
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I’ll be glad 'cos I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I’ll look and see your face
You were right there for me
In my dreams I’ll always see your soul above the sky
In my heart, there always be a place for you for all my life
I’ll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you’ll be
Well you showed me how it feels
To feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all
The strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
I n my dreams I’ll always see your soul above the sky
In my heart, there always be a place for you for all my life
I’ll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you’ll be
' Cos I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me, you were right there for me
For always
In my dreams I’ll always see your soul above the sky
In my heart, there always be a place for you for all my life
I’ll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you’ll be
Willow closed her eyes as tears swiftly rolled down her cheeks, this song, It was sooo touching as she looked at Buffy.
"I have to t-tell Tara.."Willow said slowly.
"Okay, No side dishes right?" Buffy said jokingly.
"can you play this song..at my you know if I?"Willow said slowly.
"You won..t"Buffy said as she nearly snapped.
Part 2
Anya leaned against the Magic Shop table as she looked at a Girl who walked in wearing a brittney spears t-shirt.
"I swear to God, That girl is the Devil." .
"Now Anya, You don't call a girl who walked inside the magic shop the devil, That is not right." Xander replied softly.
"No, Not her, I mean..that Brittney spears! That girl who sings..oh what is it..Oh! Opps I did it again." Anya answered dilligantly.
"Oh! ..*Her*"
Anyas blonde hair was in a ponytail as she nodded as she smiled at the girl who was coming towards them her Brownish eyes glistening in the light.
"That girl on your t-shirt."
"Yeah..."The Girl responded.. She looked at Anya her face expression was like looking at her saying she was pretty stupid.
"She's the devil, That girl" Anya pointed at the shirt.
"Right...the Devil, Whatever you say" She said rolling her eyes as she turned around and mummbled to herself. "What a doofus."
The girl walked out of the store and didn't buy anything because of Anya, Her purse in her right hand and her walkman in the other she began playing brittney spears songs as she countinued walking down the street.
"Hey!!!! You didn't buy anything!!!I need money!!!"Anya shouted as the door closed.
Xander sighed a bit angry with Anya, But he didn't show it as he folded his arms.
"Right Anya, Lets move onto something else? Like Oh I don't know..Willow?"
"She's doign dark magic again isn't she?!" Anya said loudly.
Xander shook his head as he had forgotten that she didn't know about Willow as he decided to change the subject.
"Nah, Do you like Bugs BunnY?" Xander asked as if he already knew that Anya hated bunnies.
Anya looked at Xander a look of terror in her eyes.
"Oh god! Bunnies! There here to haunt us oh no! We got to run Xander!" Anya said panicingly.
Xander slaped his forehead as if he was getting no where with Anya so he decided he'd just not talk to Anya for awhile.
**
Willow sat on one of those really uncomfortable things that you have to sit on when your at a doctors office. Her green eyes looking at the doctor, Her eyes were filled with fear. Fear that she had what the Doctor thought she had. Yet they were also filled with hope that they just assumed she had this desiese.
Doctor Kimberly H. Brant looked at the records for Willow as she didn't like the results she would have to tell Willow, Her brown eyes looking at Willow for a moment, Then back down at her paperwork, Her long brown/Blonde/Aburn hair in a chinese bun and little glasses were on.
"I'm sorry to say Ms. Rosenburg..that you do have what we suspected.".
"A-are you s-sure, B-because..i-its..n-not..." Willow said as she was unable to complete her sentence, Warm tears came down her cheeks as she looked at the doctor.
"This is all A dream, I'm going to wake up and none of this happend!!!..I just have to wake up"Willow said quickly.
"I'm afraid its not a dream."
Willow closed her eyes tightly shut as she sighed to herself she couldn't believe this, It was not fair, Why me she thought..Why me?!.
"So I-i have ..."
"Yes, You have Leukemia.."
Willow looked like she was goign to faint, But she didn't she looked down at her hands that where in her lap as she sighed to herself.
"How'd you get here?" Kimberly asked.
"I got here...by Xander who is with Anya at the shop."
"Oh, Well I'm done for the day so I can give you a ride home."
"O-okay..t-thanks"
Willow sighed to herself, She felt a little weak as she jumped off the bed thing and walked over to the door of the room, Her hand shaking a bit. She was still crying. She twisted the knob open as she stepped out of the room and walked with Kimberly outside to her car.
Kimberly opened the door for Willow to get in. Then closed it and went to the other side as she got in and closed her door. Starting up the car she backed awway slowly her brown eyes seemed a bit unhappy that Willow had this sickness as she drove Willow home.
"Right here." Willow said as she pointed at the house, The car stopped as she got out carefully and looked inside the car before she shut the door.
"h-thanks" Willow said slowly.
"No problem"
Willow walked onto the porch and inside the house, Her aburn hair bouncing as she walked inside the living room finding Dawn watching Cartoons she smiled and pretended to be happy.
"Hiya Dawnie!" Willow said.
"I know your pretending to be happy, Its true isn't it?"
Willow nodded, Pain was carried inside her as she sat down next to Dawn putting her head in her hands and just letting all her tears flow.
Dawn looked at Willow as she thought she'd start to cry to, But she wanted to be strong for Willow as she put an arm around Willow tryin to comfort her.
"Its okay Will, Its okay."
Willow put her head on Dawns shoulder as she kept crying, Closing her eyes to block some of the tears that where going to come and roll down her cheeks as she pretneded it was a dream..
Buffy walked downstiars, Her blonde hair in a ponytail as she thought she heard Willow walk inside the house as she looked in the living room seeing Willow crying and Dawn comforting Willow, She closed her eyes.
"N-no..i-its not true!" buffy whispered as she looked at Willow in the room.
"I-its not ..t-true".
**
Tara sat at the foot of her bed, Very confused on what had just happend over the phone with Dawn, She knew something wasn't right, Her blue eyes grew deep in thought. *Maybe* Thought Tara *Maybe Willow's back on Dark magick and Dawn just doesn't want to tell me*
She was deep into thought as she closed her eyes falling into a deep comfortable sleep, Still thinking about what had happened over the telephone the dream that she had can only be imaginable.
Part 3
"Tara's Dream"
Tara was sitting in a soft flower field, Wearing a long red skirt with a blue turtle neck, She was humming a soft tune in her dream, She thought she heard her name said quietly in the wind.
"Tara......Tara" The girl echo'd, It sounded like a ghost kind of.
"Who's there?"
"Tara....."
"Willow?"
Tara was now quite curious on if she should go or not, She made her way slowly to the voice, It kept getting louder and louder as she got closer and closer to the voice as she stopped seeing it was willow with her back turned to her.
"Tara..Why'd you leave me?"
Willow turned around now her eyes were black and her hands were shaking as if she were going to do that spell when she attacked Glory after hurting Tara, She kept glaring at Tara.
"I-I left you b-because...y-you were getting w-worse"
just in that gleaming split second the sky was dark as midnight and the wind was as heavy as a tornado, Willow was chanting something as lightning appeared from her hands and zapped Tara, Causing Tara to fall to the ground in unconsiousness.
Willow looked at Buffy who was looking pretty hurt herself, She didn't know what to do, She was scared, Hell she couldn't tell if this was a dream or if this was reality, Nor did she ever want it to be reality. She thought she could hear something in her head laughing..why was it laughing?
Dawn looked like she wanted to cry, She closed her eyes a bit to shut out the tears and to forcefully shove them away from her so she wouldn't show shes crying. She wanted to be strong for Willow and for everyone, Even though she was a teenager who couldn't save the world or anything, At least she could try.
There was a long silence for a long moment in time as the phone rang.
"I'll get it." Buffy said.
"Hello?" She said a bit dazed. "What? She is? Thanks for the information"
Buffy hung up, It seemed like she slammed the phone down but she didn't. She kept her eyes closed for a moment remembering this girl that was coming back is really gonna haunt her.
"Who was it?"Dawn asked.
"It was umm Angel"
"What did he want Buffy?" Willow asked getting a little curious.
"Faiths back."
Willows eyes darkned a little, Yet they looked frightened as her arms folded and looked at Buffy.
"They actually let *Her* out? and now that I'm sick and all this is just going to make it worse."
Dawn looked a little confused as she stood up. Her arms were folded a bit.
"Faith..who's faith?"
"A Psycho Killer" Buffy and Willow said at teh same time.
"Cool!!!I mean...OH..I bet i'm going to like her anyway!" Dawn said as she turned from them and ran up the stairs to her room closing the door.
~~~
Tara looked at teh phone as she wondered if she should call Buffys house again or if she should just wait for them to call. Her dark blue eyes darted around the room lookin for something that she thought would help her.
Alas.
She found the thing she was looking for as her eyes closed for a moment gathering up a lot of her courage taking the phone dialing Buffys house number as she sighed to herself wondering how she should ask, Maybe she could ask Willow to go get some coffee with her or something? Or Maybe ask for some help..Hm.
"Hello?" Willow asked a bit angerly, She really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.
"H-hi W-willow."
"Oh H-hi Tara."
"Wanna g-go g-get some c-coffee?"
"Ummm Sure"
"See you later?"
"Yeah..l-later"
They both hung up.
Willow looked down at a book that was for health. her green eyes reading through Leukemia, She sighed to herself. Hoping no one would know that she was going to tell Tara. When she does tell Tara she hopes that Tara wont treat her differently.
Part 4
Tara looked a bit excited yet nervous, Going to see Willow was really big to her. I mean sure she's seen Willow. Of course though it has been awhile, everytime she tried to see Willow Dawn wouldn't let her, Dawn would make up some excuse about Willow being sick or willow being out of the house.
Tara looked down at her watch as she smiled brightly.She thought to herself *Time to Meet Willow!!!!* She grabbed her coat and she walked out of her dorm room and out of the College as she made her way to Buffys house. Her dark blue eyes were sparkling like glitter.
**
Willow looked at herself, She knew she did not look the same. She looked more pale, Not to mention she looked pretty weak. She put her hands to her red hair and twirled strands of hair around her finger as she walked downstiars of Buffys house slowly clinging to the railing as she got to the bottom step, She smiled brightly that ol' Willow smile.
There was a knock at the summers door.
Knock. Knock Knock.
Willow smiled to herself as she knew it was Tara, She made her way to the door and opened it smiling to Tara.
"Hi B- Tara!"Willow said as she grabbed her jacket and put it around her making her way outside.
"R-ready to go get some..c-coffee?" Tara asked.
"Yeah!."
They both walked down to the coffee shop slowly, As Tara kept looking at Willow noticing something was wrong, Way wrong with Willow but she didn't know what. Oh was it real hard for Tara she wanted to pull Willow in her arms and walk with her. Her Dark blue eyes were filled with deep concern for her ex-lover.
Willow smiled a little at Tara as she knew she was stumbling so she leaned against a wall for a moment to take a breather.
"Hold on one moment, Just have to catch my breath." Willow said slowly.
Tara nodded as she looked at Willows pale face, Why hadn't she noticed this earlier? Hm. She must be sick, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go for Coffee today.
"W-willow y-you should..are you sick? Do you want to go home? I-i mean you could..--"
"No Tara its f-fine..I'll b-be fine."
Willow walked a bit quickly past Tara, not wanting to slow Tara down, THough she knew it would just waste so much energy out of her she had to keep herself happy. She didn't want Tara to worry yet.
Willow made her way to the coffee table as she sat down, Looking at the cup to concentrate hard on how she was going to tell Tara she had leukemia of course she still was not feeling so well.
Tara sat down across from Willow ordering her Coffee.
"So how've you been Willow?"
"Good, And you?"
"same."
It wasn't much talk yet, As Tara looked at her hands a bit as she wanted to say something but she couldn't get it out yet so she played with her hair for a moment taking a sip of her coffee.
"Willow."
"Y-yeah?"
"N-nothing.."
"Oh..okay. "
"Just dont love me..." Willow whispered to herself so Tara could not hear her.
Tara could have said it right then and there as she looked at this heart thing and she smiled to herself on how she was going to tell Willow this, It was going to be quite intresting, She grinned to herself.
"I love you Willow."
Willows face fell when Tara said that, Why was she dissapointed when she said that was something beyond her belifs."
"Don't! you Can't! I told you not to love me!!!!!"Willow said as she broke down in sobs as she stared at Tara for a moment.
Tara looked a bit upset yet confused why Willow had said that to her as her Dark blue eyes filled with concern.
"I-i Have L-leukemia Tara!" Willow said.
Willow made her way quickly past Tara and she hurridlly walked back home, Still crying, Lookin back at the Coffee shop she saw Tara walking out trying to follow her as she stopped.
Tara still couldn't believe this, Of all the thigns in the world, Her Mother died..and now her ex/non-ex lover has leukemia, She slowly curled up outside, Wanting to wake up, She didn't want this to be real, She just kept saying to herself..
"Your going to wake up."
) about Tara ( 
) in Normal Again 
