SPOILERS WILL BE PRESENT IN THIS FIC
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This might not be too good. I tried to make the charectors as close to the show as possible. Please don't be too harse if you don't like it. thanx -Sara
the scene is Tara's dorm room.
Willow; Soooo, how long you been practicing witchcraft?
Tara; Not too long. I mean...since I was little but...um...my family was totally against it so I kept it a secret.
Willow; Oh
Tara; You?
Willow; Hey, I'm a newbie to the bone. Actually, its only been in the last few years that I even thought about it.
Tara; Because of your family?
Willow; No, not too much in the attention department there. As long as I kept the grades on the higher side and didn't put crosses on my walls my dad and mom wouldn't have noticed if I dabbled here and there.
Tara; So what made you get interested in it then?
Willow; Ooooh, stuff. Y'know. Just...stuff.
Tara; Oh, okay. Well, I'm glad you asked me to call with you. The other girls in the group are more into the Wicca aspect of it. They're not really believers in magic.
Willow; I could tell. They looked at me like I broke wind when I suggested calling the spirits.
Tara; I noticed. I was going to say something but...
Willow; But what?
Tara;(Looks at her feet) I'm a little on the shy side.
Willow; And I looked enough like a fool for both of us.
Tara; No. No you didn't.
Willow; Tell that to them. I don't think I'll be going back there. Not that I'd be to welcome. They must think I'm some kinda Darlene Doughnut.
Tara; Well...I don't.
Willow;(smiles) Really?
Tara;(smiles back) Really. (There’s a momentary pause as their eyes connect, then Tara looks away) Um...should we get started.
Willow; Yeah. What do you wanna do first?
Tara; Something simple. Maybe just some chants. Or a lo nostra.
Willow; What’s a lo nostra?
Tara; Its kind of like a health and safety calling. Here, let me show you. (They sit cross-legged facing each other. Tara takes Willows hands in hers.)
Willow; Okay, now what.
Tara; first you close your eyes and try to clear your mind of any thoughts. (They sit in silence for a few minutes. Willow peeks one eye open to see what Tara's doing)
Willow; Is it working?
Tara; shhhhh! Hmmmmmm. (Willow joins in)
Willow; Hmmmmmmm. (Tara locks fingers with Willow. Then slowly lifts their hands up til they're shoulder level, elbows bent)
Tara; Now think of beautiful things. Butterflies. Roses.
Willow; Little birds?
Tara;(eyes still closed, she smiles) Little birds was what I was going to say next.
Willow;(smiles, opens her eyes) Really?
Tara; (opens her eyes) Really.(another momentary pause as their eyes connect again.)Um...maybe we should try something else.
Willow; Yeah. For some reason my mind isn't in a clearable mood. Hey, maybe we could call a demon protection spell?
Tara: (eyes widen) What?! NO! Um...I mean...what…what make you think there's a such thing. As a demon.(Tara gets nervous)
Willow; I...I don't. I just thought, y'know, it would be fun to experiment with something a little bigger.
Tara; I don't think that would be such a good ideal. Things like that could be dangerous.
Willow; Well, I kinda like the danger side of it.
Tara; Really? You don't seem to be the danger seeking type to me.
Willow; Oh, I am. I'm a regular danger girl. Willow the danger girl. That’s what they call me.
Tara; You seem more like the, I don't know, the type that stays away from that sort of thing.
Willow; Boring?
Tara: NO! No, just.....
Willow; The not-seeking-danger girl?
Tara; Well....
Willow; I seek danger. As a matter of fact, I seek danger all the time. Boy the stories I could tell you.
Tara; Oh, like what?
Willow; Like...like...um...okay, maybe I'm the stay-in-the-library-and-look-it-up-on-the-computer type danger girl. But, hey, those keyboards can be trecherous. What with their hard nail splitting keys(Tara laughs) and that screen can really get to your eyes. Man, I can't tell you how many times I thought I was gonna need glasses.
Tara; You're funny. I like the way you say things.
Willow; Really, wellll, I like the way you like the way I say things. (They laugh together. Willow touches Tara's hand)
Tara; So...so tell me about your friend. That girl you always hang out with.
Willow; You mean Buffy? Oh, Buffy's the greatest. She's too cool. I don't know where I would be right now without Buffy.
Tara; How do you know her? Is she...
Willow; We went to Sunnydale High School together.
Tara; Sunnydale High, really? Were you there when all that weird stuff went down?
Willow; Uuuuu, weird stuff? What weird stuff?
Tara: I heard that on graduation day a couple of years ago that some really big stuff went down and the whole school was almost destroyed.
Willow; Oh, that weird stuff. Well, y'know how things get blown outta proportion. Sometimes it starts out with, "hey, that kid dropped his lunch," and the next thing you know its, "wow, the school was destroyed."
Tara; So the school wasn't destroyed?
Willow; (hesitates) I guess that was one of those things that wasn't blown outta proportion.
Tara; What happened?
Willow; Oooooh, not much. The mayor started the ascension and planned on remaking the world in his own image. Starting with Sunnydale High.
Tara; What?
Willow; (fake laughs) Joking. That’s my weird sense of humor talking.
Tara; So about Buffy. Are the two of you... close?
Willow; pffft, close! We're like two peas in a pod. Two nuts in a shell. Me and Buffy are as close as two people can be I think.
Tara; So you're.... dating?
Willow; WHAT? NO! I'm not...I mean...no. We're...um...we're friends, that’s all. Just friends.
Tara; I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable.
Willow; No, you didn't. I just never thought of...I just...do you, um, do you have a...friend?
Tara;(smiles) No. I've never had a...a friend. I was raised in a very strict family. We were very religious. I never had the chance to have a, um...a friend.
Willow; (smiling from ear to ear) I woulda been your friend.
Tara; (smiling and looking at the floor) I think I would have liked that. (Looks at Willow) To be your friend, I mean.(long pause, the phone rings)
Tara; Hello? Yeah, sure. Hold on. Willow, its Buffy. For you.
Willow; Oh, yeah, I gave her your number just in case she needed me to...uh, help...her...with her studies.(gets on the phone) Hello? What? Riley did that? Did Xander.... okay, I'll be right there. (Hangs up the phone) I hafta go, Tara. I'm sorry.
Tara; Okay. That’s okay. Your...friend needs you.
Willow; She's not...I mean, yeah. Xander's in trouble...with...his folks, and I need to go there and...help him. That’s it, to help him with his folks.
Tara; Xander? That’s...
Willow; A friend. That’s all, just a friend. But maybe we can get together again. Aaaaand call the spirits...or...something.
Tara;(smiles) I'd like that.
Willow; (smiles, too) Me too. I'll call you.
Tara; Good. That would be good. Call me.
Willow; Okay. And hey, I'll see you in class on Monday. We can sit together and help each other with...oh wait...we don't have any classes together.
Tara; I have third period free. Maybe we could have lunch together?
Willow; Yeah. That would be great. Well, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch. Meet in the cafeteria, okay?
Tara; Okay. I'll see you then. Bye.
Willow; Nite. (They’re eyes connect one last time. Willow leaves.
Next chapter: "Realizations"
OhMyGoth, you people are so nice I almost started crying reading your replys. That is sooooo cool.
I'm posting scene one from chapter two now and am working on scene two as I type this so it will be up soon. Thankx for the wonderful things you all said.
Please let me know if the charectors sound like themselves. I tried to make it as close as possible but Willow is kinda hard and Giles was REALLY hard. Thankx again and blessedbe all
First Night chapter two
“Realizations” by Sara Poe
Scene 1; Giles apartment. The players are Willow, Buffy, Giles and Riley.
(Buffy and Willow have just arrived together)
Buffy: Hey Giles, what’s shakin?
Willow: Hi Giles.
Giles: Good morning, Buffy. Willow. I’m glad the both of you are here. I wanted to wait until Xander arrived to discuss this but he’s starting his new job today so it will just have to be the three of us.
Buffy: Xander has a job?
Willow: Yeah, he’s a burly construction type guy now.
Buffy: Xander? Our Xander is working in construction?
Willow: Kinda hard to believe, huh. I talked to him on the phone last night and he was really excited about it. Plus it keeps him from doing the minimum wage thing.
Buffy: Wow, Xander’s gonna get all muscley and buff. Go Xander!
Giles: Yes, well, that’s all well and good but we have urgent matters to discuss.
Willow: Whoa, something Giles wants to talk about is urgent. That’s a change.
Giles: Was that sarcasm? That was sarcasm wasn’t it?
Buffy: Jeez, Giles. All these years and you still have to ask that.
Giles: Perhaps I’m so accustom to the lack of wit the two of you show that I want to be sure whether or not I should laugh.
Buffy: Heeey!
Willow: Heeeey! That’s not very English Gentlemanly of you, Giles. You use to be so, I dunno, English…and..and Gentlemanly.
Giles: I suppose over the last four years I’ve had some very good teachers in the art of, how do you say it…dissing?
Buffy: Well. You’ve gotten pretty good at it. So what’s the urgency about this time?
Giles: I think I have some new information about these masked commandos you’ve encountered. My sources say that they’ve been collection all sorts of vampires and demons. Most of them right here in Sunnydale, but there have been instances in other parts of the world as well. Now, what I was thinking was…(A knock comes at the door. Giles looks frustrated) Why is it every time I begin one of these meetings there comes an unannounced interruption!
Buffy: Oh, it’s probably Riley. I told him I’d be here. (Starts to answer the door.)
Giles: Wait! Who’s this Riley person and why haven’t I heard of him before this.
Willow: Riley is Buffy’s new almost and possibly could be man friend.
Giles: Really, and why wasn’t I told about this? The watcher’s always the last to know these things. I suppose I should just…
Buffy: C’mon, Giles. Am I supposed to keep you informed of every aspect of my life?
Giles: Well…yes. That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. Buffy you need to…(Another knock at the door.)
Buffy: Hold that thought. (Buffy answers the door. It’s Riley) Hi, you’re a little early.
Riley: Hi. Am I? I could leave and come back if you wanted. I just didn’t want to be late.
Buffy: No, it’s cool. We’re finished here right Giles?
Giles: As a matter of fact…
Buffy: Great! See, you’re not late after all. Lets have lunch.
Willow: Lunch! Ohmygod, is it lunch time already? I hafto go to. Sorry Giles. But, hey, we can get together tonight when Xander gets off work. That’s what you wanted anyway right? So everything works out fine.
Giles: But…
Buffy: Wow, Willow. You seem excited all of a sudden. What’s going on?
Willow: Oh, not much. Really! Just meeting a friend for lunch.
Buffy: Hmmmm, this sounds interesting. I haven’t seen that look in your eyes since Oz…um…I meant…
Willow: No, it’s okay. You can say it. I’m okay with Oz leaving, not saying goodbye, breaking my heart, and all that other little stuff now.
Buffy: Oooookay. So who’s the guy?
Willow: Guy? No, no, it’s nothing like that. I’m just meeting a friend. We’re having lunch together and talking about spells and stuff.
Riley: Spells?
Buffy: I’ll explain later. Willow, he must be pretty special for you to get all googly eyed over him. What’s his name?
Willow: His name? Um…Tara.
Buffy: Tara? That’s a funny name for a guy.
Willow: It’s not a guy. She’s a girl I met in that Wicca circle I joined last week. Like I said, we’re just having lunch. That’s all. Lunch.
Buffy: Well, you just seem…never mind. I must be seeing in you what I’m feeling.
Riley: What’s that?
Buffy: Uhhhhh…open mouth, insert foot. C’mon, I’m starved. See ya, Giles.
Giles: Yes, sure. I’ll just sit here…in my apartment…alone. While the rest of you go on with your social lives.
Willow: Okay, bye Giles.
Riley: Yeah, it was nice,,not meeting you. (The three of them leave)
End of scene 1
End of scene 1
Scene 2: the college cafeteria
(Willow arrives and looks over the room searching for Tara. She sees her sitting alone looking around as if she’s searching for someone. Willow walks over to the table where Tara is sitting.)
Willow: Hi, sorry I’m late.
Tara: (Smiles and stands up. They hesitantly hug) Hi. It’s okay. I just got here myself.
Willow: Oh, is that why your lunch is almost gone.
Tara: Well, I…I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable again. Sorry.
Willow: You’re not making me uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, my comfort level kinda goes up when I’m around you.
Tara: I…I’m glad. I feel…um…real comfortable around you, too.
Willow: You don’t seem too comfortable.
Tara: Sorry. I’m just a little nervous is all.
Willow: Nervous? Around me? Why…why do I make you nervous?
Tara: No reason I guess. I’m just the nervous type. And you’re so…um…just…I’m…I’m just the nervous type is all. Sorry.
Willow: Hey, no need to keep apologizing. Friends don’t have to be sorry all the time, right? I mean, friends understand certain things. Things like…y’know, friend things.
Tara: I…I know. (There’s a long pause)
Willow: Soooooo, comfort level beginning to sink here. Do you wanna go outside and sit in the campus yard? Unless you’re not finished eating.
Tara: No, no I’m finished. But what about you? Aren’t you hungry?
Willow: I hadda late breakfast.
(Outside, they find a spot under a small tree and sit in the shade)
Willow: This is nice. I’m surprised nobody’s claimed this tree yet. This is like the perfect sitting spot. (Tara nods, but seems even more nervous.) What’s wrong, Tara? You seem a little distracted.
Tara: I’m not. It’s just that…it’s hard to explain. I’ll be fine.
Willow: Okay. If you’re sure. So why don’t you tell me about yourself? What was it like back where little Tara grew up?
Tara: Oh, just a normal place, I guess. My family was kind of over protective of my sister and me. My mom died when I was young. When I finished high school I picked a college that was kind of far away from home so I could be more on my own.
Willow: Sorry about your mom. What was she like?
Tara: She had studied witchcraft all her life. When she met my dad she found out how much he was against that sort of thing. She taught me in private so he wouldn’t find out.
Willow: Your sister, too?
Tara: No. My mom died soon after she was born so she became closer to my dad.
Willow: You seem like the daddy’s girl type yourself.
Tara: Me? I wasn’t very close to my dad. He had certain beliefs that I didn’t really agree with.
Willow: What kind of beliefs?
Tara: Nothing important. But, what about you? Tell me about Willow.
Willow: Oh, the Willow story was a pretty normal one growing up. Lots of Jewish stuff along the way. I guess I woulda grown up pretty religious myself if it hadn’t been for my friend Xander. He was as big a nerd as I was so that made us pretty close. We even had our own club. Just the two of us. The I-Hate-Cordillia club. I was president and he was treasurer.
Tara: What’s a Cordillia?
Willow: Ooooh, just one of those evil things that little kids shouldn’t have to deal with. Kinda like the boogey man. Only worse. Actually, she was the Queen of the popular people. We became friends in our last few years of high school. Xander even hadda twisted hate-me-but-love-me type relationship with her. That lasted about as long as a pair of her shoes stayed in style. She moved to LA with another friend after graduation.
Tara: And…and what about……what about guys? Did..did you have a boyfriend?
Willow: Not really. Xander and me were doing the boyfriend girlfriend thing til we were about five. I had a crush on him for years after that but nothing ever came of it. Then in high school there was this guy named Oz. But he had issues he had to deal with. He kinda left suddenly. Of course there was the guy I met on the Internet. But that only lasted til we met face to face and it turned out he was way far from what he said he was. Almost...um…robotic. And you? Any guy friends in Tara’s past?
Tara: No. I never really…I never really had time or interest in guys. Um…guys from my town that is. I was more of a loner. Still am really.
Willow: Well, that’s something we could put in the changeable category. Unless you like being a loner.
Tara: I Use to think I did. Then…then I met you. (Tara looks at the ground as she says it)
Willow: Really? (She smiles)
Tara: (smiling, she looks at Willow.) Really.
Willow: I kinda feel a connection thing going on here.
Tara: Me too.
Willow: Well, maybe we could…(The bell rings signaling the start of class.) Oh, darn. I have philosophy with Buffy this hour. I’d blow it off but she really needs me. The professor isn’t on the understanding side and Buffy isn’t too much on the study-to-keep-the-grades-up side.
Tara: Okay, I guess I should be on my way to class to. History isn’t one of my favorites but I really need to be there.
Willow: I guess this is where we split then. History is that way. (Points to the main building.) and I’m in the Stafford building. Will you be at your dorm later?
Tara: Yeah, tonight. But there’s…there’s something I wanted…to…um…to give you.
Willow: What is it? (Tara pulls out a folded piece of paper from her notebook and hands it to Willow.) What’s this?
Tara: Just…something I wrote. After…after you read it if you still want to come by tonight I’ll be there waiting.
Willow: Okay. But don’t worry. It’ll take a horde of crazed vampires to keep me away.
Tara: (Smiling) Great, then if you decide to show up I’ll see you then.
Willow: I’ll be there. (They part. Willow opens the letter and begins to read.)
“Dear Willow,
This is really hard for me and you’ll probably never speak to me again after you read it but it’s so much easier to tell you this in a letter. I haven’t got the nerve to come right out and say it and I don’t want to wait until we’re close enough that I feel I can be completely open with you. The thing is that I’m sort of attracted to you. I know you will probably never speak to me again but I had to let you know before this goes any further. I wouldn’t have ever written this to you if I didn’t feel that there was a mutual attraction coming from you. So if you never want to speak to me again I’ll understand. But if you feel the same way, even in the slightest then I think we could be special to each other. I’ll wait for your response.
Love, Tara
(For the first time since meeting Tara, Willow thinks something she knows deep inside she’s been avoiding. “Am I attracted to her?”)
End chapter two
Next: Truths
Thankx again for all the positive posts everybody. I'll try to post a chapter everyday btu can't promise. I will post a scene a day, tho
First Night chapter three
“Truths”
by Sara Jane Poe
The time: two days after Willow read Tara’s letter, the scene: Willow and Buffy’s dorm room. The players: Willow and a surprise guest
Willow: …so you see Tara, I’m not that way. I just thought we could cast spells together. (Willow paces back and forth) Hi Tara! Guess what? I’m not gay! (She goes to the mirror.) Tara! Hi, how are you. Hey, about that attraction thing. NOT! (She looks in the mirror with a lost expression on her face.) This isn’t going to work. I’ve avoided her for two days and I know she’s gonna be upset but what do I do. Well, Willow, maybe not talking to yourself would be a good start. Or maybe just not answering would be better. (A voice from behind startles her)
Angel: Answering yourself isn’t all that bad.
Willow: Angel!
Angel: In the last two hundred years I’ve found that nobody really knows the answers to your problems better than you do.
Willow: You’re supposed to be in LA with Cordillia. How did you get here?
Angel: I come here a lot. Just to make sure everything’s okay with Buffy. Are you all right?
Willow: Me? Oooh, sure. Just having a boodiddly moment is all. No biggie.
Angel: Do you know where Buffy is?
Willow: Buffy? You mean Buffy? Buffy the Vampire slayer? That Buffy?
Angel: (Looking confused.) Yes, Buffy.
Willow: No.
Angel: Is there something I should know, Willow? Something you’re not telling me?
Willow: What? Me? Um…no.
Angel: I see. Well, I won’t push it. But when you see Buffy I’d rather you not tell her that I was here.
Willow: What? Why not?
Angel: It’s complicated. Just promise me. Please.
Willow: Well, okay. But I’m sure she’d wanna know you were here. You were like, the big thing in her life for so long. I mean, she loved you so much Yeah, okay, she killed you. But besides that I mean.
Angel: Um, right. What’s wrong Willow? You’re upset about something. Maybe I can help.
Willow: Noooo, I don’t think this is something that you would understand. It’s…um…a girl thing.
Angel: I’ve never seen you like this. I know there’s something wrong. Have you spoke to Buffy about it?
Willow: No. That wouldn’t be doable either.
Angel: What about Xander? Or Giles?
Willow: (sits on her bed, a desperately sad look comes over her face.) No. They wouldn’t understand this. (Angel sits next to Willow and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Angel: Willow, I know we’ve never been too close, but you’ve known me for four years. And you that I have two hundred years of experience dealing with problems. It’s hard to feel so alone, I know. And you’re not the loner type. You need an anchor. If you can’t talk to the three people closest to you in the world then I feel that it’s my turn at bat.
Willow: (Holding her head down.) You wouldn’t understand. (A tear rolls down her cheek.)
Angel: This is too much for you to deal with alone. I can see that. Please…let me help. (Willow stands up and walks over to her dresser, wiping her eyes. She stops, as if she’s thinking whether this is the right thing to do. She opens the top drawer and takes out a piece of paper. She then walks over to the bed and, without saying a word, hands the paper to Angel and sits next to him. Angel reads the note from Tara.)
Angel: I see. And you don’t know how to talk to your friends about the way you feel.
Willow: WHAT! NO! (Willow stands up and looks at Angel with anger in her eyes.) That’s…that’s not it at all. What…do you think I’m…I’m…what? Are you…how dare you think….
Angel: Willow, please calm down.
Willow: Calm down! Why should I calm down!?! How dare you come here and accuse me of…
Angel: (Shifts his face into vampiric form. Knowing it will shock Willow into silence.) STOP! (She does and Angel reverts back quickly so her shock doesn’t turn to fear.) Willow, it’s okay. Your friends will love and accept you for who you are. You know that. You don’t …
Willow: But…but I’m not…(she pauses.)
Angel: Then you’re getting this angry because some girl made a pass at you? I don’t think so. I know you better than that. This is something you would joke about. And I haven’t heard one of your witty Willowisms since I got here. Believe it or not, what you’re feeling isn’t wrong. Scary maybe. But that’s just because it’s a new thing to you. (Willow looks at Angel…and starts to cry. Angel, the vampire who has only held one person in his arms out of kindness in two hundred years, puts his arms around Willow and holds her close. Knowing that she needs his strength now. Long minutes pass. Willow pulls away.)
Willow: I feel so…confused. I keep thinking about Oz. And what Buffy’s gonna think. And, oh god, Xander. I use to love Xander with everything in my soul. Now…
Angel: Now…you still love Xander. It’s just a different kind of love. And Oz gave up something that he was a fool to walk away from. I know. I did the same thing. And if Buffy ever found someone then I would know that I had nobody to blame but myself. And you know deep in your heart that if anyone would love you and understand what’s going on inside your heart and inside your head…it’s Buffy.
Willow: (looks at Angel, cheeks wet with tears, and smiles.) Y’know, I never useta really like you. It wasn’t just the blood sucking thing. Or the fact that you tried to kill me too many times to count. Well, maybe it was that last thing. But ya wanna know what? I was wrong. Thanks for being my friend.
Angel: You’re welcome.
End of scene one
First Night chapter 3 “Truths”
The Scene; Begins in the hallway of Tara’s college dorm the Players; Willow, Tara and Buffy the Time; the day after Willow and Angel’s talk.
Willow has walked in and out the main entrance four times. She’s read all the ads posted by the students on the front wall over and over. She’s picked up the campus newsletter, which sits in a rack next to the door, and read it from cover to cover. Twice. Every time she hears someone coming down the hall she pretends that she doesn’t notice and tries to look busy. She’s intentionally avoided Tara for two days and now doesn’t have the nerve to go to her room and knock on the door. Now she’s standing just outside the main entrance, nervous, hands clasped together, biting her bottom lip.
Willow: C’mon, Tara, where are you?
Tara: Willow?
Willow turns around and standing on the steps behind her coming into the building is the person she’s been working for over an hour to get up the nerve to see.
Willow: TARA! Hi! Uhhh, what are you doing here?
Tara: I…I live here.
Willow: Oh, yeah. I forgot. Well, I’m looking for…um…I’m…um…I’m…
Tara: It’s o…okay, Willow. You…you…don’t have to pretend.
Willow: Pretend?
Tara: I…I un..understand. I…I’m sorry I…I’m sorry I gave you that le…letter. It was stupid of me and…and…
Willow: No! Tara, it wasn’t stupid. It…it was sweet. And that’s why I came to talk to you.
Tara: You don’t h…have to do th…this. I know…I know how you…you feel. I won’t bother y…you…(Tara starts to walk by her but Willow grabs her arm.)
Willow: Tara wait. You don’t understand at all. I didn’t come here to brush you off.
Tara: You didn’t?
Willow: No, I didn’t. Look, can we walk for a minute?
Tara: Yeah, sure.
They want in silence for a few minutes before Tara finally speaks up.
Tara: So, what…what did you want? Um, to talk about?
Willow: I wanted to talk about…I wanted to talk about…I…I wanted to talk about…us. Annnnd this…um…thing.
Tara: Thing? What thing?
Willow: Ohhhh god, you’re not gonna make this easy are you?
Tara: Do you think it was easy for me?
Willow: (She stops and they turn to face each other) Wow, that was almost assertiveness. I thought you were the shy quiet type. Where did that come from?
Tara: Willow, you’ve avoided me for two days. I’ve run this conversation through my head over and over. B…both ways. In one way you call me a name and laugh at me and in the other…
Willow: I would never laugh at you.
Tara: You…you wouldn’t?
Willow: No, I wouldn’t. I just needed time to think.
Tara: That’s understandable.
Willow: See, Tara…I’m not…I’m not…gay. I mean, I didn’t think…
Tara: You’re not?
Willow: Um…no. Why did you say, “you’re not,” like that?
Tara: Oh! Um…n…no reason. You just seem…um…
Willow: What? Gay? Did you think I was gay when we started hanging out together?
Tara: Well…you’re just so…so nice to me. I…I thought…
Willow: I’m nice to everyone. Even people that…you thought I was gay?
Tara: Willow…why did you want to talk to me?
Willow: Because, I wanted to…to…ugh, a snappy Willowism would be good right about now.
Tara: Wanted to what?
Willow: (with a serious look on her face.) I wanted to see you. I just…wanted to see you. I need to explain some things to you. About me, that is.
Tara: You don’t own me an explanation. You don’t own me anything but honesty.
Willow: You’re right. Lets sit down.
They find an empty bench and sit. Willow fidgets with her hands trying to think of what she was going to say. Like Tara, she rehearsed it over and over in her mind but now her mind goes blank and Willow can’t find the words.
Willow: I don’t know what to say to you. I’ve never had feelings for another girl before. No, that’s a lie. I thought about Buffy once. I thought that maybe we…never mind. I just want you to know how new this is to me.
Tara: It’s new to me to Willow. I…I mean, I’ve known all my life that I…I was, y’know, attracted to other girls, but…I’ve never…I’ve never had such deep feelings for…for anyone like…like I d…do for you.
Willow: You have deep feelings for me?
Tara: (Looks away from Willow) But you can’t return those f…feelings can you?
Willow: I didn’t think I could. Well, that’s not right. I…I didn’t want to. When I read your letter it scared me. I knew what was going on between us when we were together, and a huge part of me wanted that. Wanted to be close to you. To be around you. But there’s this other part that wanted to say, “whoa, Willow. Think about what you’re doing. While I admit…I’ve had some…thoughts…in the past about…things, I never really thought too much about it. I read an article once about how everyone has had a fantasy at one time or another soooo I just thought it was a phase, and that I’d grow out of it. But when I met you…and you first smiled at me, I felt kinda melty inside.
Tara: I felt that, too.
Willow: Really? (she smiles)
Tara: (smiling back.) Really.
Willow: Look, this whole thing got started off on the wrong foot. Can we take a do-over? Please?
Tara: I’d like that.
Willow: Okay. Are you doing anything now? Maybe we can have that lunch together this time?
Tara: Okay.
They stand and start walking to the cafeteria, chatting and smiling at each other along the way. Soon they’re in the lunch line. When Willow hears a voice she instantly recognizes coming from behind her.
Buffy: Willow! Hey, what’s going on?
Willow: Buffy! Um…hi. What are you doing here?
Buffy: My guess is the same thing you’re doing here. You alone?
Tara smiles and begins to step forward.
Willow: Me? Alone? Um…yeah. Of course. Who else would I be here with but myself? Just me. All alone.
Buffy: You okay?
Willow: Why wouldn’t I be okay. I’m just here…um…alone. Grabbing a quick bite before class. You?
Buffy: Just finishing up. I have bio next hour and I wanna get to class early for once.
Willow: What? Bi? Who’s bi?
Buffy: I said bi-O. As in biology. Are you sure you’re okay?
Willow: Yeah, sure. You know me. Crazy bi Willow. I mean…um…crazy about bi. No! I meant bio…as in biology. Great class.
Buffy: Ooookay. So, anyway, you comin to the Brick tonight?
Willow: Sure. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Buffy: Great. I’ll see you there.
Willow: Okay. See ya.
Before Willow even turns around she knows what she will see. Tara’s gone. And Willow messed it up again.
Next: “the Vampire Slayer”
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Willow: I still can't believe you didn't tell me about your family and all that.
Tara: I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't want to be near me.
Willow: See, that's where you're a dummy. I think about what you grew up with and then I look at what you are... it makes me proud... it makes me love you more.
Tara: Everytime I... even at my worst, you always make me feel special. How do you do that?
Willow: Magic!
First Night
Chapter 4
“ The Vampire Slayer”
She runs. The freezing wind stings her eyes and sends tears streaming down her face but still she runs. The thing behind her is faster than she is, but it’s toying with her. She knows this. She knows it could catch her any time it wanted. But it likes the chase. No…not likes. It loves the chase. The hunt thrills it. She can feel its power burning behind her. Hot and bright and fierce and beautiful. This thing, this cruel thing wants her blood.
Tara doesn’t know why she went out tonight. She’s heard about how dangerous the streets of Sunnydale can be after dark. She’s heard the stories of monsters and demons that walk the night. Most people don’t believe that these things exist. But Tara does. She has one inside of her. All the women in her family are part demon. That’s what her father says. That’s why her mother died. Because she couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle the raging beast that lived within her. The doctor said that it was the beatings that did it. That her father…no. No, her father wouldn’t have done such a thing. Her father is a religious man that only wanted the best for his family. The beatings were just necessary to keep the demons at bay. Every night Tara would put on an extra pair of leggings just so the belt wouldn’t hurt too bad. “Men are good and women are evil,” was his saying. “Men are good and women are evil.”
None of that matters now. She went out into the night because she was upset. She doesn’t know why she thinks about Willow so much. She’s just another girl that she’s had a crush on. First there was Becky in the tenth grade. Becky was always so nice to her. Until the day Tara told her how she felt. Then Becky wasn’t nice anymore. She told the whole school that Tara was a lesbian and the next two years of high school were pure hell for her. That’s why she left. Why she came to Sunnydale to go to college. She wanted a new start. Wanted to forget about the misery of her childhood. Now she just wants to stay alive.
She thinks about Willow again. Sweet, kind, funny, beautiful Willow. When Willow walked into Donna’s apartment that first night for the circle meeting Tara couldn’t take her eyes off of her. When the others made fun of her suggestions Tara wanted to stick up for her. But women are evil and standing up for your beliefs is a bad thing. Isn’t it? Now, with the beast bearing down on her and her life being measured in minutes, all she wants to do is go home.
She doesn’t see the branch lying across the path in front of her. When she hits it there’s no stopping. She flies forward and lands hard in a puddle of mud. She tries to get up but slips and lands on her back. That’s when she sees it. The thing is so fast. It lands on top of her and she can feel its teeth inches from her neck. She whispers, “Willow.”
Suddenly the thing is airborne. As if a great force had pulled it off of her. She hears noises, scuffling, fighting. Tara clears the mud from her eyes and can’t believe what she’s seeing. A girl…a girl is fighting off the monster. She can’t make out the girl’s face because its so dark, but she can see which of the two is winning the fight. In an instant it’s over. The unknown girl makes a movement too swift for Tara to follow…and the thing disintegrates. The girl seems to look at Tara, like she’s making sure that she’s okay, and then she’s gone. And Tara is left sitting in a mud puddle wondering what the hell just happened.
She picks herself up and starts to head back to her dorm. Nervously looking around to see if any more of the monsters are about. She moves quickly but stays in the shadows. Trying her best not to be seen. She thinks about the girl who saved her. The girl that fought off the evil monster and saved her from a certain death. She thinks about Willow. Oh god, she wishes Willow were here now. “Men are good and women are evil.” But the girl…saved her. The girl fought and beat the evil. And Willow. Willow can’t be evil…can she? “Men are good and women are evil.”
When she finally makes it back to her room she strips down and heads straight for the shower room. As she showers off the mud she knows what she has to do. Home. Home is the place for her. She never should have left in the first place. People like her don’t deserve to be out in the real world. She has to go back home and beg her father for forgiveness. Sure, she’ll have to pay penances. But it will be safe there. She thinks about Willow…and the girl, again. “Men are good and women are evil.” But the girl…the girl fought the evil. Father says that good will always overcome evil. Was the monster good? Was it the good that was trying to destroy the evil? Was she really evil? And the girl…was she evil, too? But the girl saved her. Evil saves evil?
Back in her room Tara looks at all the books she’s collected. The kind of books she would never be allowed to have back home. She bought them all at the Magic Box. The store that’s went through two owners since she started going there and she hears that its about to have a third. “Women are evil.” She gets dressed and lies back on her bed, wanting to pick up one of the books and start reading, but she doesn’t. If she starts being good now then it will only look better for her when she gets back home. “Men are…” The phone rings.
Tara: H…hello?
Donna: Hi…Tara? Its Donna. I tried to reach you earlier but you weren’t home. Are you coming to the meeting tonight?
Tara: N…no. I…I…I d…don’t feel well.
Donna: Oh. Well, okay. I wish you would come though. We’re planning the bake sale tonight and I need to know what you want to bring.
Tara: I…I have to g…go home. My dad…my dad needs me. F…family problems. I’m, sorry.
Donna: No, hey, if you’re needed at home you should go. I understand. I was just wondering…would you maybe like to go out sometime? Maybe dinner? Before you leave?
Tara: What? N…no, I can’t. I’m leaving tomorrow.
“Women are…”
Donna: Well, maybe when you get back then? Give me a call, okay.
Tara: S…sure. That…that would be fine.
Donna: Great. I’ll see you then. Bye.
Tara: Bye.
Tara hangs up the phone knowing that she’s not coming back. Sunnydale has nothing for her. She needs to be home. She needs to be where her father can protect her. But…but that girl…she saved her. She fought the evil and saved Tara’s life. How can that be evil? How can Willow, sweet, funny, beautiful Willow, be evil? Is Willow evil? Willow said she liked Tara. But as soon as her friend Buffy showed up it was like Tara didn’t exist. Like Willow was ashamed of her. “Women are evil.” Why did she do that?
Tara remembers back to when she was twelve. Her father came home from the hospital and she was so excited. Would it be a new baby brother or, she hoped, a new sister. A sweet little sister that she could help to look after, and she and momma could sneak out into the woods with her while daddy was at work and teach her the Craft. She remembers that day so well.
Tara: Daddy! Daddy! You’re home! Where’s momma? Did she have a boy or a girl?
Tara’s dad: Your momma’s dead. Now you go get dressed so I can take you to stay with your grandma for a few days. And don’t pack no junk. Just some clothes. Go on now, y’hear!
“Your mamma’s dead.” And that was it. Not another word was ever spoke to her about it. “Men are…” Tara turned away from him then. Heading to her room. Her head felt numb and she noticed that her cheeks were wet. Crying? Only women cry. “Women are…” She went to her room and started packing. Then it hit her. Her mother was dead. There would be no more sneaking into the woods while daddy was at work. There would be no more hugs, or kindness. There would be no more of mamma’s smile. There would be no more…love. Ever.
She doesn’t remember what happened over the next few hours. Her next memory is of waking in the attic, face still wet with tears, and hearing her father calling her name. She didn’t answer him. She knew what would happen when he found her but she didn’t care.. She just sat there thinking about how she was all alone now. Then she heard another voice. A voice she didn’t recognize. But the voice wasn’t coming into her head as a sound. More of a thought. And it was coming from beneath the attic floorboards.
Tara followed the thought and it led her to a dark corner of the attic. There she saw several loose boards. She pulled the boards up and beneath them was a small wooden box. Inside the box was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It was a crystal. And when she touched it something magical happened. Her mother appeared.
Tara: M…mama?
Mamma: Oh, my sweet baby girl. I’m soooo sorry I have to leave you.
Tara: (Tears welling up in her eyes again.) Mama, please don’t leave me here…alone.
Mama: Baby, if I could help it you know I would. But mama’s so tired. And I just don’t have the strength to stay with you anymore. I’m so sorry, baby.
Tara: But mama, I need you so much. Please, p…please don’t go.
Mama: I will always be with you, baby. When you’re at your lowest points in life, just reach out with your heart and I’ll be there. Take this Doll’s Eye Crystal, and hold it close to your heart. Will you do that for me?
Tara: I w…will, mama. But…
Mama: Now, listen to me, baby. Mama doesn’t have much time. This crystal has a special gift within it only for you. It has the gift of love. There will be times when the world feels like a cruel and hateful place. But its not. The world can be so beautiful. One day you will meet someone that will make you see this. This person will make you realize that the world is full of kind and beautiful people. People just like you. Offer that person this crystal. If taken, then it’s an act of greed, but if this person refuses the crystal, then you will know that you’ve found the person that will complete you. And you will complete that person. Do you understand how important this is, baby?
Tara: I u…un…understand, mama.
Mama: I knew you would. Oh, my sweet Tara. Remember this day always. And someday, you’ll find your Always.
Tara never forgot. But right now that day seemed like a million miles away, and she felt so…lost. “Please,” she thinks. “Please, just give me a sign.” That’s when the knock came at the door. Tara stood up, wiped her eyes, and opened it. It was Willow.
Next: “A kind and loving world”
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Willow: I still can't believe you didn't tell me about your family and all that.
Tara: I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't want to be near me.
Willow: See, that's where you're a dummy. I think about what you grew up with and then I look at what you are... it makes me proud... it makes me love you more.
Tara: Everytime I... even at my worst, you always make me feel special. How do you do that?
Willow: Magic!
Edited by: xita 
at: 4/18/02 11:49:41 pm
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I can't wait to read the next part 
