years from now (a poem)

[ninjitsugrrl]

years from now

when black has faded to gray

and assurance to uncertainty

i shall look back

and wonder what more could have been done



distance and time breed disappointment

as surely as your breath interwove with mine

to breed enchantment and lend promise

to a moment which had none



you who offered all which had not been before

and delivered



years from now i shall look back and, realizing all was justifiable,

wish you had taken more.

Tara: Do you mind if I keep the light on? I was gonna look up some spells.
Willow: That's fine, I don't need to be snuggled...
Tara: Vixen!

[delany]

hmm.. kinda depressing.. makes me wanna go give my girl some snugglies..

oh wait.

i don't have a girl.



simple well written!

and it does what al poems are meant to do (well in my mind anyhoo), makes ya feel.

[tommo]

Ah, this is nice. I like the regret there, it kind of fits into that mindset that we've all had about past relationships before.



However, hope springs eternal. How about writing one that isn't dark?



I noticed you didn't use punctuation in your structure. Was that deliberate? It reminded me of ee cummings.

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Hey Grrrrlfriend! Yoo hoo! Over here! It's me...Flaming Joel!

Edited by: tommo at: 4/2/02 9:50:24 pm

[mollyig]

you who offered all which had not been before

and delivered



I like this description of the relationship.

I could paint you in the dark, 'cause I've studied you with hunger as a work of art - Collecting you (Indigo Girls)

[ninjitsugrrl]

Thanks for the comments all. I love getting feedback! I know I keep posting depressing poems... I'll try to write something nice and happy for next time.

Tara: Do you mind if I keep the light on? I was gonna look up some spells.
Willow: That's fine, I don't need to be snuggled...
Tara: Vixen!

[Drakkenfyre]

Loved the poem!!! I can understand the darkness. I haven't posted anything for awhile either because everything I write is so damn depressing. Oh well, Onward through the fog.. Keep posting...

"We few, we happy few."
"We band of buggered."