Disclaimers: You know the score, I dont own anything related to Buffy and all that. Joss and co, in all their glory have that privledge. I also dont own VolksWagen, nor the rights to “the matrix” , “steel magnolias” or “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” The titles are the only things mentioned with the minor exception of cool leather pants and explosions.
Rating: PG-13 I guess, nothing shown, but lots implied Or R, lets go for an R just to be on the safe side.
Spoilers: Anything and Everything is fair game again, just to be on the safe side, although nothing major or important is really discussed at all. SPOILER ALERT (this story takes place shortly after "The Gift," only it takes place in my happy little universe where the whole scooby gang was successful in the end and nobody died. All is well and the gang is celebrating after defeating Glory and preventing the apocalypse, again) END SPOILER ALERT
Notes: this is a total fluff/fun piece that came to my mind one day after watching in a comercial. I doubt highly its anything Willow and Tara would actually do, but I couldnt resist Anyway, I think it'll, hopefully, be a nice little change of pace after this season's many great, yet depressing turns.
"Man, I thought they'd never leave"
Willow's statement barely registered in Tara's mind as she scanned the room pensively.
"So . . ." Willow said innocently as she wraped her arms around Tara from behind and nuzzled her neck. "Where were we?"
Tara smiled briefly, but quickly returned to her musings. A few minutes earlier, Anya, Buffy and Xander had come by to borrow their copies of "Steel Magnolias" and "the Matrix," which Willow and Tara had taped when they aired on cable to add to their already impressive video library. After several minutes of trying to persuade Willow and Tara to cancel the romantic night they had plan and join them, they finally relented, took the tapes and went on their merry way.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Willow's voice snapped Tara back to reality. She turned to face her. "You've been acting weird ever since they left."
Tara, however, remained pensive, as she stared at the tape in her hand, almost in disbelief.
"Tara, what's the matter?" Willow asked, growing more concerned by the second.
“I think they forgot “The Matrix” She showed Willow the tape in her hands. I’m pretty sure this is it"
Willow looked down at the unlabeled VHS tape in her hand, "Are you sure?"
"Positive, it was cracked in the corner, I remember. I think they took the wrong movie"
Willow popped it in teh VCR and sure enough Keanu Reeves appeared on the screen. "huh, I guess they forgot the movie . . . damn, I guess that means they'll probably come back for it; oh well," she sighed as she wrapped her arms around Tara again, "we'll just have to pretend we're not home, dont worry about it honey."
"No, Willow, baby, remember that time we made that...ahem..that little..um..home v-video?" Tara struggled to ask as she blushed from head to toe.
Willow matched her blush, but answered by smilling wickedly. Before Tara could continue, Willow walked over to their VCR and searched for their ‘home video’. "You wanna watch it? She asked shyly and vixen-like all at the same time.
"Or is it time for a sequel?" She asked as she walked over to Tara and kissed her passionately.
Tara broke the kiss and furrowed her brow. "Sweetie" she said patiently, “You werent able to find the tape just know, were you? Think about this for a minute.”
Willow looked at her puzzled. She looked at the tape in her hands, remember Anya, Xander and Buffy walking out with two tapes in their hands, when suddenly the realization struck her. She looked at Tara again who just nodded after seeing Willow's eyes bulge.
"No...you..they..you think they took the wrong..."
Tara just nodded and after several quick glances at the door and each other, the bolted out of the room, stopping only to leave a brief message on Xander's machine leaving him the flimiest excuse for why they couldnt watch "The Matrix."
* * * * * *
"Home, sweet home" Xander said loudly as he threw himself on the couch.
"So, what do you wanna watch first? 'Steel Magnolias' or cool leather pants and cool explosions?"
"I think you just answered your own question there buff." Xander replied.
Anya just nodded in agreement as she emerged form the kitchen with popcorn.
"Matrix' it is then."
Anya hit the lights as Buffy popped in the tape.
Static glowed back at them from the screen.
"Ugh, fast foward this buffy"
"Wait!" Anya exclaimed, causing Buffy to pause the tape. "There's a message on our machine Xander."
"Anya! cool leather pants and explosions are awaiting, we'll listen to it later." With that Anya joined him on the couch as Buffy unpaused the tape.
* * * * * *
Willow and Tara stopped briefly to catch their breath. "We really should get more exercise" Willow said between ragged breaths. "We need to keep going" Tara managed to say panting. "What if they dont get your message?"
"Well maybe we'll get lucky and they'll choose to watch 'Steel Magnolias' first over 'The Matrix'"
Willow and Tara just looked at each other and seconds later continued their mad dash down the street.
* * * * * *
An FBI warning popped up on the screen and seconds later the movie began.
"What the? 'I know what you did last Summer?' Ive seen this like 40 times!" Xander whined.
"Likewise. They must have messed up and given us the wrong tape." Buffy replied. "and I dont feel like seeing this again," She continued "I cant stand that prissy beauty queen."
"Alrighty well I guess 'Steel Magnolias' it is then."
"Wait," Anya said as she watched the screen jumble "there's something else on this tape."
Seconds later, the bright glow of the T.V. danced on their faces as their eyes bulged further and further out of their sockets.
After her initial shock, Buffy jumped nervously off the couch. "Stop, we shouldnt, we cant...no watching..we have to stop watching this. This is private and for their eyes only"
"Speak for yourself" Anya said as she wrestled the remote out of her hands. Buffy's shock seemed to cause her to forget about her handy slayer strength as Anya easily took the remote. Xander snatched it out of her hands. "Buffy's right An, we shouldnt---"
"oh Yes!" Willow interrupted.
"As I was saying, we cant...we..."
"Oh yes! yes!" With that Xander gave up.
"Say my name, what's my name!"
Buffy ran to the bathroom as Xander and Anya contemplated stopping the tape.
"We shouldn't watch this" Xander said, suddenly remember this was his best friend and her girlfriend he was watching "We should stop..the tape."
"Dont Stop! Dont Stop!" Tara yelled from the t.v.
"You heard the woman," Anya replied. "Cant argue with that."
Xander who was trying to slowly lower himself to the couch jumped and missed as urgent knocking interupted their stunned silence.
"that's them!" He said nervously as he got up and clumsily tried to stop and rewind the tape."
"Coming" Anya yelled, buying him more time.
Seconds later they opened the door flustered to reveal Willow and Tara, who both looked as if they had just come from running a marathon (in multi-patterened skirts no less).
Several awkard moments passed as they all struggled to catch their breath, Xander and Anya for different reasons.
"We, um, gave you the wrong tape." Tara managed to say finally.
"Instead of 'The Matrix', yeah we know"
Willow and Tara looked at each other in horror, "You know? . . . . Oh God . . "
"hey its no big," Xander interrupted, "but we've already seen I know what you did last summer'"
"Oh, " Relief washed over both Willow and Tara, "so, you didnt finish watching it?"
Xander shook his head before Anya could reply.
"good"
Some more akward moments passed until Willow finally said, "well, can we have the tape back, we really wanted to watch it."
Xander smiled, he had to have some fun with this. "I thought you guys had a romantic night planned. You ran all the way over here to get this movie?"
"yes, well that's what we had planned" Willow continued
"you planned to watch a slasher flick?" Xander asked skeptically.
"yes"
"that's your big romantic evening?"
“ye--er--yes”
Tara cringed, Willow really was the world’s worst liar.
“Well, here ya go, but afterwards you and I are gonna have to talk about your idea of romance there Will.”
Before he could even finish, Willow snatched the tape, took Tara’s hand, said their nervous goodbyes, and bolted down the hallway. Both wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
“Wait!” Anya yelled suddenly. She was going to have at least some fun with this. Although Xander and Anya had a couple everyday, and Buffy and Riley had their fair share, the two shy wiccan’s embarrasing sex moments were few and far between.
Willow and Tara stopped at the end of the hallway and looked back.
“Before you go, Ive been meaning to as you something Willow!”
“what is it Anya?” Willow asked, trying to stiffle her impatience.
“Whats my name! Say my name!”
Willow and Tara both cringed as a laughing Xander pulled Anya back into the apartment.
--The End.